Have you been working on your faces in the mirror all morning? It’s Emma Thompson. Barney’s, Boredom, and Haggis. “Get in the ice, you’re gonna love it!” On an all-new SmartLess.
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Transcription
10904 Words, 56471 Characters
so hello everyone um darling listeners um it is emma thompson here calling you from blighty
the shores of of great britain um my microphone is propped up on well actually one of the boxes
is has got my quite posh cards in that i recently invested in which had my name in
tiny little really sort of delicate letters and i i felt it was sort of quite i just thought it
was classy anyway i may be wrong of course i often am so the the books are truth and repair
by a woman called judith l herman author of trauma and recovery you may be getting a sense here then
there's getting over your parents which is a very important book for anyone who is human and then
there's on being nice
which of course is a very important thing but don't take it too far that's what i always say
oh there was one other thing welcome to smartless
smart
smart
smart
I'm an actor and i have to be on camera today oh here have you been have you been working on your
faces in the mirror all morning yes yeah let's see surprise surprise let's see surprise oh god that's
that's how jp directs yeah i do right after this actually jb is that how you direct actors still rolling still rolling and one with the mouth closed okay good good good don't don't look right at the camera don't look right at the camera still rolling
Don't look right at the camera.
Don't look right at the camera.
It's still rolling.
By the way, I just got that note.
I'm not even kidding.
Sean, can you close your mouth in this scene?
No.
I swear to God.
No.
Was it a dialogue scene?
Did they just want you to stop talking?
No, it was just like my character was like,
I can't believe what you're saying.
I was just like, are you serious?
Kind of like, are you serious?
I was like, and she's like,
can you do it with your mouth closed?
Could you do it with your mouth closed?
I tried.
I tried really hard.
But you're like, I have dialogue.
They're like, yeah, we know.
Just mouth closed.
Yeah, I'm just prepping my mouth to talk.
And you're going to go on background.
That's going to be your cue.
And just try thinking your lines on this take.
Here we go, everybody.
Wait, do you know what?
I was doing this scene once years ago,
and Eli was there.
We were in France,
and I had this long shot.
I'm walking down the thing,
and I get to the end,
and Eli goes, bro, your leg's really wide apart.
Okay, your gate's really wide.
I go, oh, okay.
And I had to do it like five more times.
The whole time, I'm just thinking
about how I was walking.
Close your legs.
Which is the worst.
No, that's the way you walk.
I could do your walk in two seconds.
I know, I know I walk.
Oh, yeah, you're a little bow-legged, yeah.
Like you just got off a horse.
Well, hang on.
This is not an excuse to just pile on.
I'm very vulnerable this morning.
I think I'm actually bow-legged.
I don't think, Will, you're bow-legged.
You just happen to swing your legs
around one another when you walk forward.
It's because of the long.
I have long legs.
You do have long legs.
I was thinking about you watching
all the hockey this weekend
with you filling up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That goal crease.
Yeah.
You know, you need a tall guy in there, right?
Get that shoulder up into the high corners.
Well, back in the day when I played,
it was much more about getting on the ground,
stacking the pads.
Oh, sure.
Stacking the pads.
Instead of a butterfly.
So, Will, with you being a Toronto fan,
are you keeping it with Canada
and rooting for Montreal?
I sure am.
Yeah.
I'm all the way.
Yeah.
And Sean, who's your pick to win this cup?
Between the two, between Canada and. Over there at the. Well, it looks like it's going to be Vegas.
This will air afterwards,
but it's pretty exciting.
Will used to. A couple of years ago,
or three years ago,
Will had me record my picks.
Do you remember that?
Oh, yeah, for the Stanley Cup.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so, every week,
I would record the picks
and why they would win.
Sean, I'm going to give you three guesses
what the name of the team in Las Vegas is called.
The hockey team.
Okay, let me ask you this.
Does it have something to do with the city itself?
It does not.
It does not.
Yeah, it really doesn't.
Yeah, they're not called the Chips
or the Cards.
Or the Double Downs.
Yeah, no.
What about. It's Elizabethan.
I'll give you a hint.
It's Elizabethan, or it's like. Well, I mean. Kings, the Kings.
That's close.
That's close.
I mean, it could be any of those. The Golden Knights.
The Golden Knights.
The Golden Knights.
The Golden Knights.
I'll tell you who's golden.
Oh, here he comes.
Will's got a lunch cake.
You guys like a segue?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I mean,
she's got a lunch cake.
She's golden in that. I mean, you know,
she's obviously won two Golden Globe Awards
and been nominated for like 11 or something.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, my God.
And won two Academy Awards
of the five that she's been nominated for.
Oh, no.
Wait a second.
Five nominations?
That's. And Emmys.
And in fact,
she's the sole artist thus far
to be. to have received an Academy Award
for both acting and screenwriting.
Acting for Howard Zinn.
Wait a minute.
Screenwriting for Sense and Sensibility.
Emma Thompson.
Well, Emma Thompson.
Yeah.
Guys, it's just Emma Thompson.
I can't even get into her credits.
It's Emma Thompson.
Emma Thompson.
No way.
Hello.
Incredible.
Incredible.
Hello.
Nice to see you.
I literally didn't understand a word of any of that.
Yeah.
I love the. Oh, my God.
Three guys talking about hockey.
It's fascinating.
I love your refugees on the floor in the background.
Yeah.
Oh, can you see them?
Yeah, sure.
That's my daughter and her boyfriend.
They can't hear you,
which is just tragic
because they're. All they can hear is me
and they're used to me,
so why. Why don't you give them a chair to sit on?
They're going to go and sit outside.
Why don't you?
You can.
Hey, they're going.
Now, where are you?
Are you at their house or your house?
No, I'm in my office, actually.
I was looking behind Sean.
He's got a very posh kind of array.
Oh, you should see it
when it's actually awards back there.
There's awards.
There's like loads of statues
and portraits and photos and books.
It's a mess.
And. And Jason's got like some sky,
which is good.
And Will is in deep darkness,
which given the fact
that he's giving us
this kind of vampire voice,
it also works, you know?
It's all. It's all making more and more sense.
Yeah.
Now, we were making fun of Sean
the other day
because he had one of his awards
behind him.
As people do,
for some weird reason,
on their Zoom frame
usually includes any awards
that one may have won.
You don't have any awards behind you.
And you've won tons.
Where are they all?
Yeah, where are they?
The Oscars are in the lavatory
because that just keeps them
in their place.
The Globes and the BAFTAs
and all that
are on a very high shelf
somewhere where I can't see them.
I don't know.
I think that's very British.
We have a friend
that has an award
and she keeps it
in the bathroom as well
and puts the toilet roll
on one of the extended rooms.
It's a holder.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's taking it
even further than me.
You know what?
I think that maybe
you ought to go the other way
which is have a table
right in your foyer
as you walk into your place
with a spotlight.
Yeah.
And just lean into it.
You know what I mean?
So they know
what they're dealing with.
That's it.
Or you just put them
in the doorway
just so that when people come in
they just trip up over them.
Yeah.
I'm so sorry.
This is my Oscars.
Sorry.
Careful.
I'll just move them.
Right this way.
Yeah.
It's fine.
Just come through.
Do come through.
Would you like to freshen up?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then have copies of them
in the toilet
so they can't get away
ever.
And then another,
you know,
just have them everywhere
until people just go
I need to leave.
Why not lean into it?
I think that that's a good idea.
Where is your office?
Are you in England
or New York
or Los Angeles?
I'm so in England
but it doesn't feel like it today.
Actually,
everyone is experiencing
a trauma
a London trauma
so I'm in London,
North London
where I've lived all my life.
I've lived on the streets
since I was six years old
so that's six years
and one year.
Yeah, weird.
Quite weird.
Anyway,
suddenly,
we got a heat wave
which obviously
has nothing to do
with climate change.
Right.
No.
It's all a hoax.
Why would we even suggest that?
But it's 35 degrees
in London
and,
you know,
things are just dying
in front of you.
Yeah.
Pets,
household appliances,
flour,
everything.
Everything is just wilting.
It's like,
you know,
Dracula's walked into the town.
And there's not a lot
of air conditioning either, right?
We just can't,
we don't know,
we don't have air conditioning here.
It's ridiculous.
Or ice.
We have three hot days a year.
Or ice.
But they're 36 degrees.
Or ice.
Yeah, or ice.
Right?
Although that's coming.
Emma, why is that?
That's coming.
Why is it that
Europe,
why is it that Europe
on the whole
has somehow
sort of
all made a consensus decision
Yeah, take on Europe on this.
That,
that,
that,
that carbonated drinks
don't taste better
with ice cubes.
Yeah.
I mean,
it seems pretty clear
that they do.
Yeah.
That it's just objectively true,
right?
That,
but yet they still,
you have to ask for ice
with a,
with a,
so I sound like an ugly American here.
I apologize.
No, you're just obsessed with ice.
Americans have always been obsessed with ice.
When I used to,
You're obsessed with it.
I'm sorry.
It's true.
But you are.
When I first arrived in America
and ice was just,
it was just brought,
you were practically put in a fucking ice bath
when you arrived.
I'm so excited about it.
Get in the ice.
Get in the ice.
You're going to love it.
Everything came with ice.
You know,
chicken parmesan came with ice.
going on here this is mad you're obsessed with it and we don't have that obsession because we don't
have uh probably um as much money or or and our refrigerators are not as big and they don't
produce ice we all get fridges that say they produce ice and then within a week they've broken
down so what do you do to beat the heat you just lie face down on the pavement panting hoping that
some dog will come and whittle on you and cool you down i mean we don't have but here's the thing
you just you just kind of you just take it we you don't we don't need to always be in our perfect
comfort zones at all times no that's the whole point of life there are things that happen there
are days where you're hot and you do and there are days that are cold but it is true that in
this country i'm canadian by the way emma so i know you're canadian well darling but i think
you guys are used to extreme temperatures and we live in a temperate zone yes and we're really not
used to it and now because of climate change look at my face i mean i'm the same color as one of the
stripes in my shirt it's tragic but you know it's like we're just not we're just not used to it and
it's it's quite it's really weird yeah actually it's because it's happening it's happened how was
it last summer last summer it was super hot there too right europe had a huge super hot and i was
traveling on the tube were you there i was there last summer he was doing his play oh man it was
so hot it was and and and like to everybody's point there's no air conditioning we were staying
in a place that had air conditioning but if there was and we were rehearsing in a place that was like
a greenhouse with no air yeah you know what about the theater sean what did the theater have no air
conditioning in the theater no what no there's no air conditioning in our theaters come on because
we've never needed it before and we haven't adapted yet to climate change we haven't i want to i want
to emma uh you're talking about taking the tube what's your experience like when you take the tube
in london are you uh approached constantly and mobbed by people asking you um no questions and
no no no not at all nobody takes any notice on the tube they're all looking at their phones
yeah but my guess is that when they when they do recognize you it's something very charming and
respectful and and they they say which movie that they love and stuff like she's a respected actor
as opposed to like a celebrity like you see a celebrity out it's it's like it's like a a a a
giraffe has escaped the zoo and you got to get a picture of it on your phone thing yeah yeah you're
right i'm very lucky i think because um it's the same in europe people have a relationship with
i don't know what it's like for you guys but you know you must have this jason that people have a
relationship with a particular role that you might have played or maybe a couple and we've done lots
and lots of different things so that it i think if for instance you're sort of an action hero i can
imagine that for somebody like i don't know schwarzenegger or stallone or bruce bruce willis
you know then there's a very specific response every single time but for for me you know i can
pass not necessarily unnoticed but certainly it's never been a an issue actually what's your what's
your what's your least favorite kind of um of of interaction with with a with a fan like like when
you're with your family or or i mean because it's like there's some there's sometimes i always get
embarrassed if it ever causes like a scene in other words grabs the attention of others that
might not otherwise know who i am or notice it you know like it's it's great when it's just sort of
mellow and quiet and and and passing yeah right
yes i mean it's lovely and people will just pass you and still keep walking yeah you love your work
yeah lovely but when you're sort of buying sausages with your daughter right you don't
really want them to come up and go can i have a selfie selfies are interesting aren't they how do
you guys feel about those right well how do you feel about the do you feel that they're intrusive
at all what do you think well no but i what i have noticed is that in the old days it used to
be autographs and if you didn't have a piece of paper or a pen uh then it was just hey night night
nice nice to meet you and like your work and it was it was a night but now everybody's got a phone
so even if you don't want an autograph right slash picture you still sort of feel obligated well i
better take this you know and so people kind of line up a little bit and anyway it's i'm not i
don't mean to sound like i'm complaining do you ever say no no never um and i've been with people
i don't i mean never is probably i might i'm sure i have but i i don't i do when i'm with
the kids sometimes when i'm when i'm when i'm with if i'm with the kids or with the little kids and
if and if it's an adult asking i'll say no they i've never said no to a kid i have i have said
that i have yeah but i've said sometimes i'm the same will i wouldn't ever say no to a child but
sometimes if i'm with the family i'll say would you mind awfully i i just i i'm with my family
and what's so interesting to me is that every time i have said no and it's quite rare people have
taken it so well because i've been there i've been there for so long i've been there for so long and
people have taken it so well because i've been there for so long i've been there for so long and
because they seem completely to understand
because they seem completely to understand
because they seem completely to understand so in a way i feel like they know what
so in a way i feel like they know what
so in a way i feel like they know what they're asking for that what they're
they're asking for that what they're
they're asking for that what they're asking for is a little bit
asking for is a little bit
asking for is a little bit kind of it's a lot to take a photograph
kind of it's a lot to take a photograph
kind of it's a lot to take a photograph with somebody i have some famous friends
with somebody i have some famous friends
with somebody i have some famous friends that they say no all the time they never
that they say no all the time they never
that they say no all the time they never say yes and it makes me so uncomfortable
say yes and it makes me so uncomfortable
I just feel like that's so nasty.
Because it's such an easy give in a way.
It's an easy give.
Have you ever gotten, hey, can I get a picture really quick?
And then they hand you the camera?
Because that's happened to me.
Right, they want you to take a picture of them with their friends.
I've also many times got, oh my God, you're. And then they say the name of a completely different actress.
So I have the choice.
I either say, yes, I am so-and-so.
I would love to give you a photograph.
Or I say, I'm 20 years younger.
Or I say, oh, I'm 20 years older.
Or I say, no, she's dead, actually.
But then I just kind of move gently on through.
You know what's funny?
The other day I was sitting in a restaurant
and I had two interactions in a row, back to back.
First of all, I had a woman come over and say,
and I was sitting with my sister and my brother-in-law
and our buddy Eli, Canadian Eli.
And he said,
And this woman said,
so sorry to bother you.
And I know that you're eating.
And then proceeded to sit down on the bench next to me.
No.
And begin the conversation.
At which point I was like, well, you're not that bothered.
Did you grab a fry?
Then she left.
She left.
And then this other woman came over and she said,
my friend is a fan, but I'm sorry, what's your name?
And Eli goes, Jason Bateman.
She said, thank you so much.
She walked away.
JB, I forgot to tell you that.
It was so good.
It was so good.
I had a really wonderful one.
I was in Harry's Bar in Venice, which is, you know,
the original Harry's Bar.
And it was very nice.
It was years and years ago.
And a woman came up.
She was in the other room and she kept on peeling off
these massive smiles and grins at me and waving.
And I thought, okay, so she must know my work.
That seems fair enough.
I'm in Venice.
It's the festival, blah.
Anyway, she came over as she was leaving and said,
I'm so happy to see you in here.
I said, oh, thank you.
Thinking, why?
And then she said, you know, I still wear those shoes.
I wear them all the time.
I love them.
You were so right.
I was wrong and you were right.
And I'm thinking, shoes.
And then she said, you remember, I'm staring at her thinking,
I can't work this one out.
I haven't made a film about shoes.
Have I?
Anyway, she said, you remember the fifth floor in Barney's?
So she thought that I'd sold her a pair of shoes.
In the shoe department at Barney's.
And she was thrilled to see me in Harry's bar
because clearly that meant I was doing quite well for myself.
Do you know what I mean?
That I was in the same arena as a woman who buys shoes
on the fifth floor at Barney's.
And that gave her pleasure and she needed to convey that to me,
which was very kind, I thought, actually.
And I said, I'm so glad they still fit.
Good for you.
Now, Emma, do you miss Barney's like I miss Barney's?
I don't know.
Oh, yeah.
I do.
I miss Barney's a lot.
Sorry, I really do.
We were just talking about it the other day.
I miss it so much.
We were admitting to terrible shallowness, but I do.
I really do.
By the way, both New York and L.A.
I'm sad.
I miss them both.
Yeah, both places.
I love those places.
I love them.
Me too.
What happened to it?
What happened?
How would it go belly up?
It's because people shop online now, right?
Is that right?
I guess.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Everything, yeah.
It has to go to the shoe, right?
Direct to the shoe department at the bar.
Right.
No, just walk in the back way there on like, what is that, like 59th Street?
You can walk in that back door.
Oh, he's talking about Los Angeles.
And there was one downtown too.
Well, the original on 17th Street.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
Oh, guys.
Keep saying numbers.
Same numbers, Mark.
Oh.
And we will be right back.
And now, back to the show.
Wait, Emma.
So, listen.
Let's go back.
Let's go back.
Let's go back.
I love.
Let's start the interview.
Let's listen.
Questions for our guests.
Guys, Emma's here.
Emma, we're the worst interviewers of all time.
I'm so sorry.
Yeah.
And you're realizing that in real time.
And your regret is evident.
We, so I didn't know that you were, that you started, well, started, but you were in the
acclaimed Footlight Sketch Group at Cambridge, which has seen a lot of great performers.
Yes.
you have a history of sketch comedy, which is so amazing.
I didn't know that. That's cool.
Oh, yeah. I did that for years.
Would that be like the British Lampoon type of thing?
Sort of, yeah.
It's an equivalent to sort of the Lampoon in a way-ish,
but it's more of a sketch comedy.
But, you know, it's like SNL.
SNL is basically what I would think of as review.
So back in the day, in the early part of the 20th century,
review was huge in our country,
and it was basically a collection of sketches, songs,
you know, just a kind of review.
Like a variety show.
A variety show, yes.
And that's what we did.
It's completely dead now.
We don't have review anymore.
But SNL is a form of review.
It really is.
It's sketches and songs and music.
It's in England now.
You know, it's little bites, and I started doing that, absolutely,
with Hugh Laurie.
And Stephen Fry.
Stephen Fry.
Yeah.
Did it for years.
In fact, I was going to be a comedian.
That was what I wanted to be because I admired Lily Tomlin.
I never knew that.
So greatly.
She's great.
Oh, my gosh.
And Jane Wagner.
You know, the signs of intelligent life in the universe.
All of her beautiful characters.
Yeah, incredible.
I love that.
That's what I wanted to do for a living.
But you are still doing it because anytime there's a character
that lends itself even slightly to comedy,
you take that and you expand that,
and you're. You're always freaking hilarious whenever you choose to be.
You have excellent timing.
That beautiful British dryness.
It's just. Well, I mean, I was going to ask you,
and these guys are going to make fun of me,
but I'm a massive Harry Potter fan.
Oh, no kidding.
And you. Show us the wand.
I don't. I really do have a wand.
But you as Professor Sybil, right?
Professor Sybil.
Sybil Shaloni, yeah.
Yeah.
That was. She said, fatigued.
Speaking about. Like characters and like Lily Tomlin and Jane. And all those things that Lily Tomlin. When I saw that it was such a. And this is a compliment.
Such a big character in a world that has big characters
with the. You guys, if you haven't seen it,
she has like Coke bottle glasses,
like literally this thick that make her eyeballs this big.
And she's neurotic and she gets possessed.
And it's such an incredible character.
How did you trust that that was. That your choice to come in on the first day. We talk about this a lot on the show.
With a huge swing.
Which a huge swing was going to be. How did you trust that?
You don't really do.
And how did you come up with the character?
Well, it's written in the books.
That she has those glasses?
In the rolling books, yeah.
I think she's definitely nearly blind.
Can't see anything.
And obviously deeply neurotic because she can see sometimes
whether people are, you know, have the grim or not.
So, I mean, honestly, in my quiet life,
long career, given the fact that I'm a good 10 years older
than all of you guys, I have done many, many parts.
And I've spent about 30 days on Harry Potter in my whole life.
You know, so it's kind of a strange thing to talk about
because it's become such this huge phenomenon.
Right.
And that's a lot of the time that's what. People are very sort of drawn to that.
People stop, yeah.
I mean, I'm also. I've also seen Saving Mr. Banks, like,
20 times, and I've seen Sensibility and Remains of the Day.
No, no, I wasn't getting at you.
Yeah, yeah.
It's just that. Just to make sure.
You know what it's like, guys, when you decide to play someone.
You just have to fling yourself into it, don't you?
Yeah.
You go first and hope that your instincts are right.
Yeah.
Well, there's always that thing, because we talk about that idea,
you know, I always say it's like when you first arrive
and you're doing something, you've made a sort of a choice
and you want to make sure that you're not at a different volume.
Yeah.
Than everybody else.
Especially if you come in in the middle.
That's what I'm saying.
And you're like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true.
Is this, you know. Am I in a different movie?
Yeah, am I in a different movie?
I came in, I did something this winter,
and I sort of came in, they'd been working for a while,
and I thought, like, oh, boy, and I had a real look going.
And I thought. What was the look, Will?
What was the look?
He was sort of like a retired rocker,
and he's sort of down on his luck.
And Pedro Pascal comes. He comes in, and he's my brother,
and I just, like. And I sort of worked on it with the director, with Tony Gilroy,
and I thought, okay, this is it.
But at the same time, I thought, like, you know,
that first moment, like, here we go, guys,
and we're rolling.
I'm like, boy, there's better work.
Yeah.
It's so scary.
But at least Tony had seen it.
Yes, he had.
We had talked about it, but still, we hadn't done it.
So you don't get to rehearse like us.
It's quite rare, isn't it, in film, that you get to rehearse.
Yeah.
Whereas in theater. All you do.
So it's all about rehearsal.
Yeah.
All about rehearsal.
I love it.
So sometimes I think it's a shame we don't get enough rehearsal in film.
But, you know, again, it's a very mysterious business, filming.
It is.
You never know what's going to come out.
And the camera's so odd, don't you think?
Bit of a sort of witchy presence, I find.
Well, you also have that thing when you finish something,
and you go, and people say, how was it?
And you're like, I don't know.
Yeah.
You know, that's sort of in that period of sort of waiting.
And, JB, obviously, when you're in post and you're putting a film together,
you're living with it.
It's breathing with you all the time.
And so, like, you have a sense of it.
But everybody else kind of goes away.
Yeah, there really is always. Emma, you've done some directing, right?
Yes?
No?
No.
I've never directed.
Have you not?
No.
Why did I feel like you had a couple of times?
But there is just that. Why haven't you?
Let's press her.
Can you, Emma, can you check that you haven't?
Yeah, check.
We'll wait.
We'll wait.
I've interfered a massive amount.
That's not directing, though.
That's just taking part in a slightly upsetting way.
I, especially with, I suppose, with the films with children in,
I've spent a lot of time with the children because that's important.
And the films I've made for young people,
I always consider children to be the sacred audience.
They're the people we need to make the best of our work for.
And they don't lie.
Because it's the first time that they see something.
It needs to be so, so good.
God, you've done so many things over so many genres.
When you're speaking of, like, the children's films and stuff,
and so many things, and I was just, I was just,
I watched within the last year a film that you did a few years ago,
oh, God, probably 10 years ago,
but it's based on one of my favorite books of all time,
which is Alone in Berlin.
Oh, my God, you saw that?
You were, like, one of the. Of course, I loved, that book was incredible to me.
And then I watched the film.
Oh, I love that book.
It's one of, it's just such an amazing book.
It's one of the best second halves of a book I've ever read.
It's just mesmerizing.
And so then, and then I realized I made a film.
And so I just, I didn't know that you had made that film.
And I watched it.
It was beautiful.
It was lovely.
It's such a great story.
Is it a World War II story?
It is.
It's almost a piece of, like, resistance art in a way,
the book is and the film.
And how do you. Because you do these things across so many different genres,
like, how do you decide to do, like, a film like Alone in Berlin,
let's say, but just for instance,
is it always just material-based
or how you're feeling, like, at a certain time in your life
and you're like, I want to do something that's kind of moodier?
How do you go about that process?
I think you're right.
I think it's a little bit like meeting the right person
at the right time or reading the right book at the right time.
Things come to you at moments
when perhaps you need them.
I think as artists, sometimes we need to play certain things.
It's just coming at us.
I mean, I think it's all sort of out there,
moving around us all the time.
And then things pass us by and we think,
oh, I wish I could have. Oh, well, actually, no, that was wrong.
And then something comes in and hits us right in the centre of us
and you go, I really want to tell that story now.
And sometimes you don't know why,
but I always know if it's something I want to do.
I always know.
And it's not something I could quantify in any useful way.
It's literally something will come across my bowels and I go,
oh, that's a wonderful story.
I mean, Alone in Berlin is. I mean, I'm kind of slightly obsessed with both wars, actually,
because I think they left traumas in our country.
In the UK that have never really been healed or addressed.
And so Alone in Berlin, for me, is just this beautiful. I mean, the book is incredible.
If you haven't read it, do.
It's Hafner, isn't it?
It's his pseudonym, isn't it, Will?
Sebastian Hafner.
Hans Falada?
Hans Falada, yeah.
And his actual name is perhaps the other one.
I get that.
Sean, you can go get a snack.
Three Stooges, right, Sean?
When that came. Yeah.
Alma, have you ever taken apart a character, said yes to it,
because that character has sort of a personality trait
that you are thinking seriously about expanding in your own life
and this might be a fun way to kind of play a little bit with that
and try it on and maybe incorporate some of it at the end if it goes well?
Kind of because. 'Cause I've said that a couple of times.
- That's really interesting.
- Really, like you're like,
to be like i'm going to play this smarty pants because yeah i'd like to be a little bit more like
like like like how i'm kind of reading this character in this in the script and this would
be a kind of an easy little cheat is that dtf is that dtf yeah um but um but like yeah sometimes
it's for the for the director the story or the other cast or whatever but then sometimes it's
it's it's oh i kind of always wanted to be kind of like that and maybe i'll try a little bit here
you ever done that i think i did that with down cemetery road i did a telly recently it's a series
called dan cemetery road which is a quote from a philip larkin poem and it's a mick heron book
it's the slow horses group and um i think i i mean not only do i love the author but the character
she's sort of my age probably grew up in london during the slightly seamy
60s
i mean as a child in the 60s you know i think about my childhood in london how really close
to the end of the war that was i mean i was born in 1959 so it's 14 years after the end of the
second world war it's nothing really it's like a blink right of an eye and therefore still
rebuilding yeah oh god yes absolutely and still to a certain extent a little bit of um
you know not having quite enough to eat and
it was it was i think quite dark probably which is you know one of the reasons why
alone in berlin was interesting for me as well but i think that this character zoe
is not a good girl i was brought up to be very good very obedient very not in a bad way
but in a way that i think that many many girls in in my culture are brought up to be um
always lovely and kind and loving and and emollient and accepting and tolerant and
i think that whilst there is a place for that in both sexes it is not appropriate for it to be
just women who do that and nor is it sometimes appropriate for them to do it at all so you know um
actually this woman doesn't do it in any way she just she's a very um
releasing sort of character because she's unapologetic and certainly not polite right and
whilst she has kindness certainly an empathy inside her she uses it very judiciously and not
as it were just as a kind of scattergun technique to avoid conflict or being judged for not being
you know a nice woman sure does she does she weaponize it um what do you mean like uses it
like like it's calculated the way it's it's used or no no it's quite natural it's quite
natural it's not really uh it's just an instinct she's she's just like i always feel when sean's
being kind to me he's just manipulating me you know what i mean well that's true i think yeah
i mean i think you're right about that clearly wait emma you grew up i was just thinking so both
your as you talk about this and both your parents if i'm correct me if i'm wrong or uh were actors
is that right yeah so you grew up like this is a sort of uh you grew up in the family biz
in a way is that right yes i did but it was the family business of theater
theater yeah so my parents grew up at a time when there really was no television
so they expected naturally as actors my father was working class from um a southern town in our
guilford um had not very much education was very self-taught decided to become an actor
and leave that patch i mean he was a proper lever of everything that he came from you know his mother
my grandmother was a servant she went into service when she was 16 years old and and indeed one of her
children was born out of wedlock because she was raped by one of her employers
so her journey as a mother with these four children was really um quite dramatic and dad got
out and and went into the theater and met my mother who's from scotland very different culture
and background um presbyterian scottish presbyterian so very um well puritanical actually
yeah um one can't really avoid that even though she's never been uh able to resist good wine um
which is excellent uh but you know there was i did grow up in the this very interesting sort
of combination but they did theater and they expected to do shakespeare in the provinces
and just and then radio and then television arrived we didn't have a television until i was
i don't know eight and it was black and white you know we didn't do that we didn't have that
and now it's so different yeah it's it's it's kind of indescribably strange yeah you mean the amount
of of content that's out there to distract you by the breadth of it all sort of in a way yeah
the and the amount that must be produced right what was your policy with your kids did you um
were you were you someone that was um screens are okay television's okay ipads are okay um
uh or or were you like no you know it's it's reading um or it's piano lessons or it's because
i i grew up in one of those households very very disciplined although there was plenty of tv too it
kind of a combo it was a good combo i think we told my daughter the television was broken which
she believed for at least eight years um it's still broken and then she danced in at the age
of about nine and said i've mended it um she just found the sodding remote anyway um and we didn't
allow her to have a phone until she was at secondary school at the age of 13.
yeah um smart so ipads oh god sometimes when we were driving we live in scotland as well
we were driving to scotland and ipad was a wonderful thing
and then you feel guilty to film which actually i don't feel guilty about if it's a good film
sure it's a lovely way to spend two hours because i used to be stuck in the car for
eight hours as we were driving to scotland with nothing to do but stare at the lamppost going by
and do terrible stuff but it's good for the imagination though it's really good to think
about all those hours and boredom's good for the imagination as well we've lost our relationship
managing boredom is a talent everybody okay here's my question to all of you when was the
last time you were actually bored this weekend really why yeah well just because i was inside
the whole time it was raining and i ran out of good tv i had done all my homework and i but then guess
what happens you get truly relaxed i really feel like true relaxation lives somewhere next door to
boredom and that's when naps happen and and and clarity of mind and and and all your priorities
get in the right order and you can think about what's like it's a great managing boredom embracing
boredom seeing the virtues of boredom is something that i just don't think that my my kids their
is understands or is friends with they can't even ride an elevator without looking at their phone
yeah sit at a red light constant stimulation yeah i've actually i've actually said to my both my sons
at various points you cannot walk down the stairs looking at your phone that has to be something
that you that is independent of your phone this is this is absurd but i will say i'm you know what i
was talking about with this with a friend recently i'm never bored like even if i'm just sitting there
i don't know why i never feel bored right i don't mean it as a pejorative i i just feel like it it's
like there's you're not we're all so i think most people in the world today are are highly
functioning like we're just like trained to manage 50 different things at the same time
just because it's just sort of global productivity but there is a great there god you're always
talking about productivity it's unbelievable so you never you want to never shy you never shy away
away from productivity sean i was just thinking sean i wonder when you hear emma talk about
growing up in the theater and her parents hi sean by the way welcome to the podcast thank you so much
for having me this is i'm such a big fan do you wish in a way when you hear about people who grew
up and like in the theater and stuff do you feel knowing your you know how much you enjoy that do
you ever feel like oh i wish i'd grown up in that kind of environment yeah all the time like well
even jason like growing up to me growing up around hollywood and in it or emma growing up in it you
know like what when did it start for you sean it was high school right yeah yeah high school junior
high i i i was i worked backstage i worked the light not the lights it was just one light and
it was yeah it was one switch seriously it was on and off and it was um we got our guy i was like i
think i can do that and um it was calamity jane the musical calamity jane and um yeah that was
junior high and in high school and then i was nervous about telling my family i was in theater
because it wasn't associated with sports.
And I thought,
what were they going to think?
And so my oldest brother was like,
hey, dude, it's okay, bro.
Like, I play football.
I have makeup on underneath my eyes,
the black marks underneath my eyes.
Just like, you wear makeup.
And I was like, oh, that's really sweet.
And then other things happened.
But. Well, let's not get into that.
But yeah, I always, you know,
I don't know that I love to do it anymore.
I mean, the grind of theater is something, right, Emma?
That you just have to,
the repetition on your body and your brain
is something you kind of have no choice
but to outgrow because of the endurance.
We'll be right back.
And back to the show.
What was the last theater production
you were a part of, Emma?
Because you've done so many.
Well, I haven't actually.
I've mostly done film.
But the last thing I did was something I,
again, you know, we were talking earlier
about things that you just can't,
you know, not say no to.
They asked me to do Sweeney Todd.
Steve Sondheim's Sweeney Todd with Bryn Terfel.
And I did it, we did it with the New York Philharmonic
at the Lincoln Center.
We did five performances there
and then we did two weeks at the Dominion here.
When was this?
How cool.
It was 10 years ago, maybe.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, and. You'd be great.
I'm sure you were phenomenal.
Oh, my God.
It was just absolutely. You mean the psychotic-like woman
who kills people and puts them into pies.
Walk it back, Sean.
Quick, quick, quick.
Sean, Sean, Sean, Sean.
Oh, my God.
You've got to let Sean finish, Emma.
No, the comedy of it.
I'm sure you nailed it.
No, I'm sure I went way too far.
But anyway, the point was,
we were on stage with the New York Philharmonic
and one of the things that really I loved about it
was the sort of cross-pollination
of different art forms,
that you had a whole orchestra,
an orchestra on stage
that you could act with.
So, you know, you were acting
while the timpanist was behind you
making these amazing noises
and they loved it as well.
The orchestra adored it
because you were in amongst them.
And I think that we silo music,
classical music in particular,
and acting in the theatre, you know,
which sometimes can just make people
feel a little bit superior,
which is not the case.
It's just acting in the theatre.
She's looking right at you, Sean.
And then there's television acting,
which is television acting.
You've got to be really clever with the cameras.
If you're a good actor, you're a good actor,
you're a good actor, whatever you're doing.
I love that.
I can't bear all that snobbery,
which was very much alive
when my parents were coming up.
So, yeah, that was the last thing I did.
And I, oh, I mean, it was an amazing feeling.
Like, I don't know whether you guys have ever had this,
but when you do something
that uses every single cell of you,
nothing is left behind.
You know how you can come on,
particularly to do a job that's a short job
and you're doing a small part or a cameo role
and you're using a tiny little bit of your palette
and you have to be careful not to overdo it.
That's very much to your point, Sean,
about Professor Trelawney.
It had to be a very specific, small thing
and it had to be right,
but it had to be big as well.
But this had to be right,
it had to be enormous,
and it used absolutely everything I had.
Right.
And I had such a,
wonderful time doing it,
but my God,
it was,
it took me nine months to learn it.
Yeah.
And then I did it for like 30 performances.
Yeah, I hear Sondheim is,
is almost as difficult as Shakespeare, right?
Sometimes.
I mean, you've got the music part of it as well.
Yeah, finding those notes and those chords is really hard.
I would say harder, yeah.
Harder than Shakespeare.
Shakespeare makes it easy for us.
He's like a wonderful old sailing boat
you can get into and just sail into the sunset.
Really?
Because he's so reliable.
Well, speaking of,
writing you,
I mentioned that you,
that you're the only,
I know,
I didn't know you wrote.
performer to have won for acting and writing,
and you wrote Sense and Sensibility,
and how did that happen?
I did not know that.
Because I didn't know that either,
and so it's delightful to know that.
I adapted it.
Jane Austen wrote it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I plagiarized it mercilessly.
Yeah.
Oh, it's not in radio.
No, no.
How,
but how did that happen with,
with the great Ang Lee, right?
Directed Sense and Sensibility.
With the great Ang Lee.
Actually, it happened kind of interestingly
because,
like I used to do comedy,
that was my thing.
That's what I wanted to do.
And I was very lucky
because I worked with a wonderful comedy producer.
He produced the first all-black comedy series
in the UK, Desmond's.
And then,
and he worked with an awful lot of black
and Asian and female comedians.
He was,
I suppose,
quite revolutionary in that sense.
And I made a comedy series with him.
And one of the sketches,
I wrote,
was about a young woman
coming back from her honeymoon
to see her mother
with a bit,
with something on her mind.
And she starts to talk to her mother
about a small,
little woodland hairy creature
that lives in her husband's lap
that he's drawn attention to
on several occasions
and that appears to be attached
and also changes shape sometimes
so that she just doesn't want to touch
or have anything to do with.
And so,
the sketch is about sexual ignorance.
So, it's a feminist sketch
about the fact that women weren't allowed
to know about sex,
but then they were just sent off
into the wild.
They were married off
without any kind of help whatsoever.
And can you imagine coming across a penis
for the first time
and then seeing it become erect
in front of your very eyes
and not know what it was?
Right.
That's what we put people through.
Anyway, so the sketch was about that.
I think it was quite funny.
And our producer, Lindsay Duran,
the extraordinary Hollywood producer
who actually started her work
with Spinal Tap,
excuse me,
literally one of my favorite films ever.
Sure.
So, she wrote to me and said,
I've seen your sketch
about the Victorian penis.
I wonder if you would fancy
adapting a Jane Austen novel.
I thought, interesting.
Interesting segue.
Yeah.
Wow.
I said, well, I'll give it a go.
So, I gave it a go.
Amazing.
You should give it a go.
Amazing.
Now, what about other screenplays afterwards?
Forgive My Ignorance.
Is that something that you. No, not at all.
I've written. We've been forgiving your ignorance
for a minute.
I've written loads that haven't been made, actually.
So, but I wrote. I've written a couple of kids' films.
One called Nanny McPhee,
who's a strange. Yeah, sure.
That was huge.
Sort of warty, witchy woman.
Actually, we've spent 10 years
writing the musical of that,
which is coming into the West End next year.
No way.
Wow.
Who wrote the music for that?
Gary Clark,
who wrote the music for Sing Street,
which was a lovely,
sort of beautiful Irish film.
So, he's one of those people
who just can write songs.
He spent years and years in Nashville.
And you just think about the music industry.
It's just amazingly full
of these people.
It's people who. He was in a band
and it was kind of going,
but he didn't like the fame.
He didn't like the glare.
So, he retreated
and started to write songs.
And he's written songs with,
I mean, so many of the greats.
He's just a wonderful songwriter.
And we have written about a billion songs,
cut a billion songs.
We've been writing it for so long.
I gave him a couple of touchstones.
I said,
think Tom Waits' Swordfish Trombone.
And also,
do you know,
I know a gang called the Tiger Lilies.
They're quite. Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was the kind of thing.
I was like a Victorian steampunk,
slightly dark,
you know,
a little bit on the circus side,
but not, you know,
like dark.
That sounds great.
So, that's what we've been doing.
That's really cool.
Yeah, I can't wait for that.
I would be remiss
if we didn't mention
your new project,
The Sheep Detective.
The Sheep Detective.
What is that about?
Now, that's. Craig Mazin wrote that.
Craig Mazin, you know?
The great Craig Mazin.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I love Craig.
JB, you're old, buddy.
He wrote your novel.
Yeah.
He's such a wonderful,
wonderful man.
And then he wrote,
he adapted a book where,
yeah,
it's about a shepherd
who gets murdered
and his sheep solve the crime.
I mean,
that's it.
That's the logline.
You just go,
yes, I'll be in it.
I'll play a sheep.
I'll play anything.
I'll play a broom.
I'll play anything.
Yeah.
Because it's such a good premise.
And this is,
it's starring Hugh Jackman, yes?
Sounds like a great yarn.
Guys, sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Nice.
Sorry.
Not as nice.
I noticed that.
No.
Thank you.
I hear this is,
I hear this is a really,
really good film
that parents would like as well.
Yeah.
Because it is made for the kids, right?
It's you and,
and the delightful Hugh Jackman.
Is that right?
Am I right about that?
Yeah.
Did you have to work with,
you have to have to work with
some photorealistic animals
or some,
or is it. Photorealistic animals.
Photorealistic actors.
No.
I,
I,
no,
we actually,
I was only on it
for about three weeks.
I'd just done a thriller
in Finland.
And,
so I was,
and then I was going
onto the telly.
So I sort of,
kind of dropped in
for three weeks
with this lovely bunch of folk
and that,
it was gorgeous.
Yeah.
It sounds like a gorgeous
type of location, right?
Where,
where,
where'd you shoot that?
Oh God.
Now you're asking me.
I mean,
it was in England.
It was in England.
And actually we shot
the second animated film
in the same village
because it's this kind
of picture perfect.
Right.
Village.
Yeah.
And I can't remember what it's called.
Well, most importantly. I think it's called Hambledon, actually.
I think I've actually remembered that,
which is a fucking miracle.
Was it?
Given that I'm literally 175 degrees here.
Yeah, now. My brain's boiling.
Was it close enough to your house
where you could sleep in your own bed
or did you have to stay. No, so not.
So, so not.
No.
Okay, so you had to live on vacation.
That never happens.
Never.
You know what I love about England
staying in an English hotel,
especially a small English hotel,
is an English breakfast.
I adore an English breakfast.
Who doesn't?
Which is what?
Well, there's different kinds.
So, Will, what do you get?
You like the little sausages?
I don't. Yeah, I shy away from the black puddings,
but I like egg and sausage.
What's black pudding?
I've never had black pudding.
Yeah, what's in a black pudding?
Haven't you, Sean?
Molasses?
It's pig's blood.
No.
No, it's not.
It's congealed.
It is.
It's pig's blood mixed up
with various sort of spices and grains.
Oh, my God.
It's like haggis.
Look at Jason's face.
Because I'm half. I'm half Scottish.
And a haggis is a sheep's stomach.
Oh, my God.
And the sheep's stomach is filled
with all the sort of offal,
which is all chopped up with various bits of. Did somebody just make a sheep noise?
Oh, my God.
Well, why do we have these kinds of foods over there?
Is it because. Is it because we were poor?
Well, the country's so old
that you had to figure out
how to make stuff you could eat
out of what was available
right?
This is before. But also, you didn't waste anything.
Right.
So, if you killed a cow,
you ate its fucking stomach as well.
And its tongue and the hole.
The only thing you didn't eat
was its hair.
Yeah.
You know?
And its horns.
You had to work out how. If you had an animal
and you killed it. Because don't forget,
it's really quite recent
that the country's. I suppose Scotland in particular
was poor.
Very poor.
Yeah.
Until recently.
And in many areas,
it's still poor.
Yeah.
Now, do you. The longest I've ever spent
in England
is just recently last year
for like three or four months.
What were you doing over there, Sean?
Do you get, Emma,
do you get. Are you as entranced still
by the charm of the country
and everything around it
and the history?
Or are you just kind of like,
it is what it is
and yep, there's Big Ben,
there's the thing.
I'm so used to it
that it's hard to appreciate it anymore?
Or do you still feel like, wow?
Oh, no.
I'm much more entranced
than I was when I was young.
Really?
I mean, I just. I just adore it.
I'm a Londoner,
but I'm also a Scot.
My mother's Scottish.
So for me,
the most beautiful countryside
is in Scotland.
And Scotland is wild
and it's very. Yeah.
You know, it's unheld,
it's unbound
and it's full of the most
extraordinary energies.
And London is also,
you know,
a very precious place
because everyone,
this great teeming bowl
of people living in London,
living in this massive city,
generally speaking,
quite peacefully.
Yeah, I love it.
I'm very. I love, love my city.
I'm not as familiar
with England, actually,
the countryside,
but the countryside in England
can be quite breathtaking.
Yeah, beautiful.
You go up to Yorkshire
in the north
or Northumberland
or, you know,
we were shooting all over those.
We shot in Cornwall last year
and I'd never really spent
any time in Cornwall
and I just wanted
to go and live there.
It was so. exquisite
and full of. still full of character
and community, actually.
Really beautiful.
You know what?
Might I suggest
a non-scripted show, Emma,
where you go around
and rediscover England?
There you go.
We're going to produce it.
Listen, we're going to pitch it to you.
We're going to get in touch
with your people.
You all have to come with me.
Yes.
I'm a devoted Anglophile.
These guys know. And the sheep go with you
and comment on it.
The sheep come with.
Yeah.
And then at the end of the show
we eat them.
Yes, of course.
Every piece.
Every piece.
And Jason takes the stomach.
Jason takes the stomach.
You all have to take
one particular really
sort of unpleasant part
like the pancreas
and then you invent
a really good little recipe
just for that part.
I'll take the coat.
I'll take the coat first.
By the way,
I'm going to put this out there.
I'm going to put this out there.
There is somebody
listening right now,
maybe over in the UK,
who's going to say,
like, this is a great idea.
And you are going to get
an incoming call.
It is a good idea, actually.
Right?
I would watch the hell out of that.
Yeah, I would watch that, too.
Of Emma going through England
and discovering villages
in different places.
Oh, look at this.
Like Stanley Tucci in Italy.
I can't wait.
I can't wait.
I'm an EP on it already.
I'll just go around saying
endlessly,
you want some gain?
That was my favorite phrase.
You want some gain?
You want more of me?
You want more gain?
That was Jason.
As he was saying,
you want some gain?
It just sounded so. Oh, yes, I think I do
want some gain.
That's hot podcast talk.
What are you going to suggest next?
Emma, we have taken up
too much of your time.
It's been. Not at all.
It's probably been an hour.
What an absolute delight
to have you here.
That was real fast.
Yeah, that was fast.
I hope you get to cool off
and jump in a pool.
It was fast.
We could have gone on forever.
No, I'm literally going to go.
I put the blooming
scooter thing on
in the garden.
I'm going to go
and stand in it now.
Yeah, good idea.
I don't think we got
to any questions, even.
On the next time
you come on the show,
we're actually going to
ask you some questions.
On the next SmartList.
That was so lovely, guys.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Thanks for being here.
Huge fan.
Thank you so much
for your time
and for everything that you do.
And we're just such fans.
Yeah, we are.
Well, right back at you.
Every single one of you,
I love you deeply.
Likewise.
Likewise.
Thank you, my dear.
Make sure you pick your kids
up off the floor.
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
No, they've gone.
They've long gone.
They're lying face down
on the wet lawn.
All right, Annie.
Fare thee well.
Thanks, Emma.
Bye.
Bye.
Um, guys.
Yeah.
Emma Thompson.
Have you seen
Remains of the Day?
Yes.
Yes.
I mean, I've seen that
so many times.
How many films
do you think she's done?
I bet she's done
like 65 movies.
Well, what's better than that?
How many great films
has she done?
I know.
Like so many.
64.
So many incredible performances.
Yeah.
And just so,
and just all,
and so different
in every genre.
It's just amazing.
Effortless.
Yeah.
And I meant it.
She is,
there's always,
there's some sort
of cheeky little wink
always to each one
of her characters.
Oh, do you find her
to be a little cheeky,
do you?
She's a bit cheeky.
She's a bit cheeky.
No, she also,
she also,
like,
she's also emanates
kind of like
she's going to take care of me.
Like, you know,
she's my mom.
Yes.
You know,
and I like that.
I want her to take care of me.
I'm going to send her my number.
I mean, think about it.
Love Actually?
Oh, yeah.
Forgot about that.
That massive hit
that everybody's still,
it's just,
oh, God.
I think you squandered
an opportunity there, Will.
You really could have gone down
an incredible memory lane
of parts
and movies and stuff
and said,
you're fucking talking
about Haggis
and God damn.
But there was no time
because we were just
having a conversation, man.
We were just visiting,
weren't we?
Yeah, we were just having
a quick little visit.
We're not journalists.
No.
Yeah, we'll have to have her back.
Yeah, you know,
we're just,
Love Actually?
We're just simple guys,
you know,
we're not very smart.
In fact,
we're smart less.
Oh.
Oh, wow.
So, see,
so right there,
I was just introducing
a new sign-off
instead of buy.
Okay.
We work on some sort of way
to just say,
yeah, I guess we're just
kind of smart less.
And then it's over.
But that's the only one
you can use then.
You can only say,
we're smart less.
Right, but you gotta somehow
work that into the sentence.
Yeah, but that's just,
could just be like,
But that came out
of this process
of us doing that.
Yeah.
Like, that's a natural progression.
In a way,
it's almost,
you could call it like a
buy product.
A buy product.
That's the end of the show.
Bye.
Bye.
Smart.
Less.
Smart.
Less.
Smartless is 100% organic
and artisanally handcrafted
by Michael Grant Terry,
Rob Armjarv,
and Bennett Barbico.
Smart.
Less.
Thank you.
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