Elvira's Planet of the Glamazonian Ghouls with Trixie

[MUSIC PLAYING] Two extra special things going on today. One, Katji's not here. Let's clap for that all around. Who's that here? Katji, exactly. And number two, we have Cassandra Peterson in the house. Elvira, I can't believe it. Wow. Cheers. Your own team out there, not clapping. It's completely difficult. That's depressing. Thanks, guys. That's support. Did you have a good time getting into Burbank today? Yesterday. Oh, yeah, it was great. Four hours late, that's all. Oh, gosh. We're right by the airport, too. Are you do you find a Burbank? Do you find LAFs? I have shot right here before I did my Hulu special. I think either in this studio or one right across the-- I've shot some stuff there, too. They have a huge set-- you know what's funny? And when I shot in there, their psych is so big, you can pull a car in there. Yeah, I know. And maybe you did that. I did. I guess in my Hulu special, we use the macabre field. Am I OK to understand there's two macabre wheels, right? There's multiple? No. There's just one. One. And-- There is one that is a complete fake, not real macabre field that goes around the country saying it's the macabre field. Oh, my God. I was going to do that to Angelina. And so I guess I'm not going to do that. Don't do it. I won't do it. Do you ever see it driving? And do you ever walk up and is it kind of stolen valor? No, no, no. When you see the fake macabre field, do you ever want to walk up to the window and be like, hi, what's up? No, I just want to walk by with my key on the side. Right. No, you know, it was a weird story. I had my car made, and then I'd later bought it. And I had to have it fixed up. So I took it to George Barris, who is a great guy. And he's done the Batmobile. And he's done the Munster's car, all these old cars. Right. He's passed away since, but a really cool nice guy. And then I had my car fixed up by him. And the next thing I know, they had made a copy. While it was in there being fixed, they made a copy. And then they sent that car around, just like they do with the Batmobile saying it was the real carlet, used in the movie and stuff. And of course, it wasn't. I have the real car. Interesting. Kind of feels at worst, illegal. But or at that kind of thing. Oh, we tried to get them to stop. And this is, you know, it was pretty difficult. It was just like, don't do it. And they kept doing it. I think you should. No macabre bill, I also think you should take back curses and the Batmobile. No more black cars. That's just your thing. Really? Yeah. I think you have that kind of power. Thank you, I will. I was getting ready for this interview today. And I had a weird mix of pressure to make sure that our audience got to hear important things from you. But also comfort knowing that I think I know everything there is to know about you. Oh, that's good. Well, you're doing the interview by yourself. And I'm leaving. No. I'm so grateful you're here when I freaked out, when I got the opportunity. I have things that I wanted to ask you for forever. And do you mind if we just go for it? You just go for it. Ask me anything. I watch a bunch of your archival, a.k.a. bootleg footage on YouTube, but like every Halloween. I love to watch your interview on Joan Rivers. Yeah, that was great. Have you seen that in a while? No, not in a million years. It really hits. It's so sad. That was a really fresh. Really, you thought so? Y'all have such a good back and forth. Well, this is the funniest thing. It was really weird when I was in Vegas. OK, you're going to love this. I was briefly married to her-- To her. To a guy that helped her with her dresses and her makeup. Don't ask me why. Did you think maybe most straight guys don't get into the dress completely gay, total queen? I love. And anyway, I don't know. We got drunk in a bar when I was in Vegas and we went and got married. Anyway, it's very easy to do that in Las Vegas. Sure. Yeah, so anyway, so I hung out at Joan Rivers House in Bel Air a lot with her husband, Edgar, and their brand new baby. Which was, you know, Melissa. Melissa? I was like, is there another baby? Yeah, no, it was just Melissa. But I hung out with them quite a bit and got to be very friendly with Joan. And I loved her. I just loved her, loved her. And Edgar, I loved him. He helped me actually, with my career and thing, we would introduce me to agents that they knew I was trying to get acting work in LA. Sure. And Edgar really helped me. He was a very sweet man. The whole Edgar story is kind of a nightmare. I think sometimes like there's no trick to it other than you need somebody who has a little bit of pull who will say your name. It's true, it's true. He said, oh, you ought to meet this person. Oh, go over there and talk to them. I'll tell him you're a friend and bubble blind. You know what I mean? Otherwise, you're just showing up at 900,000 other people at interviews and, you know, hoping and praying. Hoping, that's right. So anyway, he was very helpful and he was very, very nice. And I really liked them both. But when I went on that show with Joan, I was expecting her to be her snarky Joan Rivers self. And instead, she was very, very nice to me. And I almost felt like the interview was really a dud 'cause you know how she's normally with people? She's really, she kind of cuts into them. Honestly, with you, I felt like because you were there and you were in your drag. It was also a Halloween episode, so I believe Paul was down the couch for me. And so you were obviously the perfect guest for that, of course. And you come out and it's drop dead gorgeous. And it's, you know, it's like really good magic late night television when you come out. It's so cool. - Thank you. I love that. But I felt like it just missed the thing. I was sort of prepared to get into like a cat fight, like fake fun, like, oh, well, Joan, you know, trade barbs and stuff. And then she was just nice to me. - Sure. - So. - I guess that was good, but I don't know. - When I watch interviews of you with the male late night hosts, obviously like, they will talk about your figure in a way that's a little bit work around. And with Joan, I guess, what I liked about it is she could just be like, okay, let's immediately talk about the breasts. You know, and she just immediately was like, I think she said, when those things drop, there's gonna be an earthquake in China. Love that. I was like, I mean, so fun. - That was great. It was fun. I just love her. And I, obviously, you've seen her documentary. - Of course. - I mean, it doesn't work. - One of my favorites of all time. - Yeah. I read your book, of course, when it came out, Croulee Yours, I believe. - Yours, Croulee. - Yours, Croulee. - But you almost got it. - I bought it on my iPad. I read it on tour and I just, you were so candid. So some of the stuff I knew, but there's a particular story of how you started Elvira. You talked about, I think, being freshly married in like, outside of LA, and you got a call and they were like, come in for this. And you were like, I think I might just quit, right? - Yeah, which time was that? It was like, when you got the call to come do Vampire at the time? - Oh, yeah, no, at the beginning, when I, yeah, which was right over here in Hollywood, you know? - Yeah. - Yeah, no, I just thought it sounded like the weirdest damn thing in the world, but I thought, oh, well, I'm pretty excited. It's an acting job. I'll be paid a couple hundred dollars. I mean, I was very excited about getting any work that paid money, then, you know? - Right. - But I wasn't excited about, like, finally landed the rule of a lifetime. - The rule of a lifetime. - No, it wasn't like that. It was like, well, dude, I got a gig that lasts longer than one day. - Right. And I guess most drag queens think of you as obviously a drag queen, and we all loved you before we became a drag queen too. - Right. And I guess for some of us, we come up with this character and start hawking it in gay bars, whatever. And when I think of the way you did it, which is kind of reverse of like, you got this opportunity, obviously at the time you had no idea it was gonna be such a long lasting opportunity. - No, I really thought, God, I hope this lasts like two or three weeks, at least, you know? - So I can, you know, eat and live. - Thanks for money, pay rent, yeah. - And I am obsessed. I just like, I'm obsessed with this thing you talk about in some of your interviews, where you weren't able to maybe get financial raises at first, but you were able to ask for things. Could you tell listeners about that? I think it's so amazing. - Yeah, that really was like, and it wasn't me, it was my lawyer, it was my manager's, which was really a KMI husband at the time. - Right. - Who didn't really know what he was doing. But my lawyer said, you know, they're not gonna pay you more. Why don't you just ask for the rights instead to have a fan club? - Right. - And we're gonna, oh yeah, that'd be fantastic. I was like, we asked for that. Then, later on down the line, next quarter, they're not gonna pay you more, but maybe they'll give you the rights to make t-shirts, you know, and merchandise. Oh, that'd be awesome. And then that just kept going, and going until one day we realized we had all the rights. - Yeah. - All the rights. And they knew what they were doing, but I mean, they didn't know what they were doing, but they realized it's finally, oh, we just gave away all the rights, and we owned them. And when they gave them to us, we signed the document, and we owned them. - I have always wanted to ask you about that attached to this question was, at which point did you realize the rights you were asking for had like real value? Like at which point were you like, oh my gosh. Do they even realize that I'm gonna be able to really count some money here? Like, do they realize that I have something really marketable? - Yeah, it was a ways down the line. It wasn't, I don't know, that we really realized it. - Right. - We owned the rights to something, but we didn't really know what, you know? I think we had a better idea of what, when one, I was invited on the Johnny Carson show, which believe it or not at that time, was the only talk show. I mean, there were little ones. - I don't know. - I don't know, things, you know. But that was, if you were on that show, you were famous, that's all there was to it. - I'm still hoping I get a call. - Well, you might. - It's a very-- - It's a dead bet. - At this time, and I recently was on occasion and had it on it's a very calming sounding show. Yeah, he has a very calming voice. And I did you watch late night with the devil that movie? No, I didn't. I know the movie. I have not watched it yet. And if you're going to tell me to watch it, you're like the third person-- I'm sorry. I asked speeches on the phone today. Shout out to Peaches Christ. I said, do you think she's seen late night with the devil? I said, I was reviewing her late night appearances. And I think she would love this movie. But it feels a little insane to tell a pirate to watch a horror movie, but-- No, there's a lot of them that I don't get to. I've seen people feel responsible for you seeing every single horror movie that ever existed. But it is not possible. I try. I try. Well, right now I want to go see weapons so bad. And none of my friends want to see horror. It's really weird. My partner hates horror. My friends don't like horror. I can't get anybody to go with me. It's actually-- And I feel weird sitting on a movie theater alone watching a horror movie. And they go, they're so far. Oh, virus here alone watching a horror movie. That's so sad. It's like the viral equivalent of like you at a bar at 4 p.m. Yeah, it is. She's getting her fix. I know. I just don't want to do it, you know? Weapons, I think, is available to watch at home now. Oh, I hope so. OK, that's all I want to show you. I'm not comfortable with you. I'm pathetic. Besides, your partner-- Tom, it's horrible. It's a lovely romance tale. There you go. The kids are perfect. Yeah. And I show them my girls for the rest of the day. It'll be wonderful. Oh, yeah. I also watch-- I mean, I don't know if you ever review this either, but there are plenty of bootlegs of you at your holiday, holiday, your Halloween performance at the farm. Not scary farm, right? Yes. I confuse that with Disney's not too spooky. I don't know what they're doing. It's like not too spooky, medium spooky, like it's like salsa. It's called the Halloween Haunt. Yeah, actually, it's easier. That's what they called it. How did you start doing that? Right after it became a viral for about a year, they had Wolfman Jack doing this show out at Notzbury Farm. Did you ever hear of him? No. He was like a big DJ in the LA area. He was really like back 100 years ago a really big deal. Did he dress up? But a DJ. No, he just kind of looked like a wolf. He had a-- He looked kind of like a biker with a goatee and kind of the Eddie Munster kind of-- Kind of convenient. And I would always speak and talk like a bitch and say, hi, everybody. Yeah, just a Wolfman Jack. Yeah, kind of like that. So anyway. You were like that to do that. Apparently, he had a little too much to drink most of the time when he was out there at the show. So they decided to get somebody else to do the show. Who can we have who only have a medium amount of drink? Yeah, well, not me. I'd say I was right up there with him. Right. No. But they decided to replace him. And they called-- asked if I wanted to do it. I was like, what do I have to do? And they go, oh, sing, dance, tell jokes. The first show was so lame. Oh my god. I'm hopping around singing. Oh, Frankie, you're so fine. You're so fine. You blow my mind. Hey, Frankie. I'm at Frankenstein and-- Right. Oh my god. Really embarrassing and really pretty cheesy. But as time went on, the show's got better. And better, you never saw one out there. No, I would-- You would not believe it. It was full-on, Vegas. Yeah, you were too young. You were already born yet. I was born just a few years ago, really. I watch it on YouTube. I think there's a bootleg of maybe your last year. And I remember you saying in the show like, this is the last year, so we're pulling all the stops. You pull the car out. There's this gag of yours that Katini have stolen from you. And we are just like the Macrobbe, the mobile people who steal from you. Where you go off stage and then a rag doll of you. It comes flying across the stage. I love that so much. Was it voiceover? You're like, how about these moves? And they're just throwing a rag doll of you. And they're just throwing me all around the stage. And I imagine your backstage sipping a coke being like, how's the show going? Pretty good, huh? And I was, I am having a cigarette, throwing a red ball. We then had one of the dancers, a male dancer who was an acrobat come out and do hand-- you know what I call it? Backflips. Backflips all the way across the stage. I wouldn't say it was exactly a convincing body double. No, it wasn't at all. And he was like a five-foot tall Latino guy with tons of muscles, you know? You have a very muscle. So it really didn't, you know? But he's zooming across so fat. And of course, everybody knows it's fake. But it was hilarious. And I actually came up with that idea because in the movie, I had a body double doing all that stuff. I don't do backflips or anything, my god. But I did do this one thing where I was hanging upside down. And I was pushing away at the floor. Oh, yeah. So it looks like I'm flipping, you know? So I said, oh, we got to recreate that kind of thing on stage, you know, where it's very obvious, it's a double. But-- It's amazing. Yeah, like we don't think it's obvious. When I introduce people to your work which I've gotten to do is like, obviously, I'll show them a film, but I love to show them one of your live shows. I still love that song once bitten. It's on my holiday playlist. I love that song. Yes, great, isn't it? It's just girl. God, now you-- oh, my brain. Oh, God, this is so horrible. Not too-- it's been a long time. But an English singer who did that song and wrote it-- God, what's her name? Thank you, Lori Choco. Yes. Choco Lori Choco. She's so great. She's this friend of mine. And she's like the six foot tall Amazon East Indian woman with the white blonde mohawk. And just amazing looking and met her through a friend in L.A. And then she-- we talked about her doing some music maybe for the movie. And she said, I have a perfect song. And so we recorded her doing it, but isn't that a great song? It's a great track. She did remastered it later. Did you say another version? I think I have that version. I think that's the version I have. Yeah, it might be. It's really good. I just saw Joan Jett a few weeks ago. And it reminds me of like a Joan Jett track. I love Joan Jett. I've seen her-- I saw her 20 years ago, and I saw her just last month. And I was like, 20 years apart. It's still incredible amazing. I was wondering if she hates me or something. Because I don't know. Susie from Susie in the van, she hates me. Why? She said I ripped her off. And I was like, I don't know. I felt like just another punk girl back then. We were all looking like that, you know? Yeah, I couldn't even think she ripped them off. I ripped off vampire. I ripped off Susie in the van. I ripped off Morticia, everyone. You name it, I ripped off. And then there's people around driving your car. Yeah, that was ripping off. Anyway, I don't know. It was a look, but I do love Joan Jett. I always-- Love obsessed. She did a show. She's on tour right now with Billy Idol. And I'd not seen him before. That'd be so awesome. She's on tour. I wonder where they're going. I just saw them in Milwaukee. I saw-- I was so like a movie. I saw a billboard of them while driving. And like, immediately pulled over and got the tickets. I was like, I'm going to this. Oh my god. She opened for him, but you know, it's really a double billet. Met Billy Idol. And he was great. I love Billy Idol, too. What does he like? He was awesome. I mean, this is back when he was-- So gorgeous. Really happening. He's so gorgeous. Oh my god. That was awesome. We had a lot of fun together. Yeah. Wow. He was great. I loved it. So hi. Can I Billy Idol and get backstage and then meet Joan Jett? Please. I don't do. You should. Have you never met Joan? No. Oh. I just think you know everybody. I know. I sort of-- You have a story around somewhere. I was in her house. I really have just met just about everybody on Earth now. Who has ever scared you? I mean, I think star-struckness is, hopefully, universal feeling. Is there anybody we're like, I'm going to lose it? What? You scared me in what way? Like, come up to you with a knife. No. Like a star-struck. Like star-struck, where you're like, I'm not going to freak out. Hello, ma'am. Huge fan. Oh, yo, Michael Jackson. Oh, wow. Yeah. I mean, I was-- I couldn't talk. I mean, that was really a big deal back then. And he had just come out with Thriller, which is like the biggest song in the world ever. I was just like shaking his hand, and he shook my hand, and he had that glove on there. Poked really, really hard. I was like, are they trying to be really cool? You know? Right. Not style it. And I was like, oh, god, come on, my hand. And then he goes, oh, really? I love you. I love you so much. And I'm like, Michael Jackson's telling me he loved me. You know, I couldn't even say, I think I was a stuttering, like, a glittering idiot, yeah. This is a huge opportunity for you to just grab the glove and take a little piece of memorabilia. I know. I should. You know? And then just run. Too late now. Too late now. I have another question. But thanks for the advice. Of course. I'm trying to steal something of yours today, if I can. Okay. Hopefully, can we talk about your cookbook? You have a brand new cookbook. Tell us about it. Well, it's so awesome that is I didn't bring a copy. I-- It's not out yet, is it? It's out now. Yeah, it just came out. Well, there you go. Yeah, and I did not bring a copy. I could kick my butt. She couldn't get one because everyone bought them all. That's right. They're all sold out. They are doing pretty damn well. I'm going to say-- I'm going to say-- I'm not surprised, right? No. It's great. I mean, well, I-- I don't know. I didn't know. Are people going to buy a cookbook from El Vira? I don't know. I don't know. But-- Sure they are. I'm really happy. It was like number 33 on the 100 best seller list on USA today. This is good. Yeah. People got to eat. They got to eat. And why not eat dead things? They do. They do. Fun things. I also just threw a whole party. And it's hard to find good spooky recipes. Obviously, people are going to think of you as the authority of that. Yeah. I hope so. There are good recipes. They're fun. They're easy to do. I mean, they have all-- Not all of them are easy. That it's kind of like runs the gamut from-- Like, you totally can't cook too. You've got to be a really good baker, which I am not. Yeah, some of it was a little-- I was looking at some pages online. I was like, all right. the time. tacos, de los tacos, which, which, which, which, which my social media guy accidentally put Tia delos, where does the aunt of the dead, the aunt of the tacos, uh, and of tacos, but that could be me. Uh, and anyway, I have changed the first, the first part of the ingredients is like, you're like, cook the, praise the short, cook the short ribs, like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Is there a chapter one here? Yeah. And then we have, we have a vegetarian or vegan version with jackfruit, and it tells how to do the jackfruit. That's really hard. I mean, the ribs are hard enough. But, um, yeah, no, so we cooked them all, we tasted them all. They're all really good. They're all fun. And like I say, it's for year-round entertaining. It's for that person that, you know, that Halloween is 365 days a year, which is me, for sure. Also an entertaining guide, not just a cookbook. There are things how, how to set the table, how to decorate, how to make little, um, you know, items for the table and, and items to give the yes when they leave. And it's fun stuff. The older I get, when I go to a party, I am like, if you invite me over, and there's no drinks, no food. Why are we doing this? I know. I'm leaving. This is the trap. Yeah. Me too. What do you know what I mean? Like, I just do a Halloween party and my, um, my friends were like, you did all this? I said, yeah. So now when I come to any of your all events, know that there must be something. I'm not even saying you need to like have a strip of pop out of a cake. I'm not saying there needs to be a pig roasting in the front yard, but I'm like, you invited people over and, you know, those parties you go to that don't have food or drinks dry queens. Seriously? Girl, they can barely open up the oven and put a rack of Trader Joe's entrees on there. And then they act, they make you feel like you need to be all grateful. I'm out here churning butter. You don't need like. Can I ask you about your pinball machine? Sure. So I believe you have two, right? I think four. I think four. When I would go on tour for a while on tour, I would get really in the mood of like, I just want to go to retro arcades and play pinball. I love pinball. I love to play pinball. I put in my headphones. I play and I would always start calling around cities and saying like, whichever one had yours, I'll be like, if they have yours, then they're the cool one. And they have the retro stuff. They have the fun cool stuff. I love that. Was it so wild when they just pulled out of, I mean, obviously you were involved in the process, but I can only assume it's one of those moments where like, there's a pinball machine at me. Wow. I love that. I honestly, I tell people, I felt like I won the Academy Award. Right. I mean, in my world, pinball machine was like, oh, you know, I just made it. I made it at the top because I, it was so funny. In Provincetown, I spent like an entire year playing pinball every single night with my boyfriend and this little shack that's over there. This little, you bought a straight guy in Provincetown. Yeah. Wow. And he was, he was a bartender at the A house. Love. I know. He was a lobster fisherman. So if somebody has to fish for the lobster there, then you send the gay guys out there. That's never going to get done. No, no, that's right. You get, so you have to have a straight guy to get the lobster. Absolutely. And, um, and he and I went to this little fisherman hang out. This is a hundred years ago. Okay. In the seventies where there were a lot more Portuguese fishermen, you know, right. And there's so few nowadays. There's so few. Well, there aren't because they've been priced out in Provincetown. Girl, that's the trouble. Nobody can live there. All these poor people had to move a hundred miles down the gate. It's great. When I hear people tell me like, oh, in the 90s, I bought my house for $90,000. I'm like, yeah. Okay. In Provincetown, now it's like, I mean, truly a studio apartment, million dollars, million dollars. And, you know, I believe, I mean, he bought a lot of property when he was a young guy. Oh, good. With his brother. And so he eventually did really well. He unfortunately passed away now. But, um, he did really well. So, but he bought it when it was cheap as dirt. Yeah. And man, what years did you keep killing? I worked in Provincetown at the post office for I worked at the post office too. I heard about it. Oh my God. They had a picture of you on the wall. My first season and I was like, Oh, I love all by right. And they were like, you know, she used to do shows here. I was like, no, she didn't. Mama's boys. Yeah. Did they have good air conditioning then? No, God, no, none of it. We brought our own fans. It's just like swarming up there in the attic. And people aren't in church pews. Yeah. This close. And they can see sweat trickle. And you're like, how's your vacation? How do you like the dressing room? I don't know if it's the same, but there's no dressing room. I have to say, Oh, if I were what dressing room? Huh? What dressing room? Yeah, there wasn't. I had to change eight costumes for my show. And I was changing, you know, off to the side behind a little curtain. Oh my God. Well, I hope they were skimpy because there's not room for anything. Oh, they're a very skimpy. I didn't take up much room. My first summer there I got there. And you know, I'd only seen shows in Provincetown. I don't know. When you had worked there for the first time, had you? I went this summer before and kind of scoped it out to see like, what is a P town show? What are the people doing? Yeah. Did you do that? Shows there. Oh, yeah. No, no, because there wasn't even shows. I felt like my hair no, when I did it, there was not even, you know, well, you know, who is there? Oh, God, like Jim Bailey. I mean, the old old first drag queens. I've tried to think of all their names now, but yes. And they were fantastic. I mean, they were like, oh my God. No, we already had our show done. We just showed up there and go, God, I hope people here like it. I don't know. Did you bark? Bark. Did you walk on the street and you had not flyers and say, like, please come to the show? What? That's what they do now, girl. Oh, you mean that kind of barking? I thought you meant like, no, no, no, no, I think you would howl. No, we sort of went around. We were in a little parade down the middle of town and we were all leather studs and straps and went down this center. It was me and seven gay men. And so we told everybody throughout little flyers, yes, said we were going to be at the post office. And then we didn't have to do the barking thing. Yeah, I did it my first summer and graduated throwing flyers from a truck barking. You're trying to walk by restaurants, people are eating and these people don't have it sold their tickets. They don't know what they're going to do. So they see you walk by saying there's a show in an hour. They'll go, should we just do it? Let's do it. Yeah, I know. It's sort of. Yeah. So that venue, particularly a no air conditioning. I mean, my first summer, I don't want to be gross. My my my my corset started to get truly like mold because it's so hot up there that the the wet costumes never dry. So at the end of the summer, you're like, we have to like exercise like burn this outfit because it's so bad. So this venue, love this venue. Yeah, I love it. The last time I was there was our Barlar, Barlar Jean. Yes. Oh my God. It's amazing. Funny, funny, freaking show. But she just set there sort of on a stool. She wasn't changing costumes or dancing. Well, she's lazy. She was so funny, but she wasn't doing, you know, yes, you know, costume changes and stuff. Yeah, I think she's at she's at this summer. I saw her at Crown and Anchor and Dina Martinez, a Crown and Anchor. Love her. I love her too. But my opposed of experience, I remember them walking me up there and it's it's a smaller stage. I would say no bigger than this set, right? Yeah, I know. How do you know? I mean, you and seven people up there. Yeah. Trying to dance. Mac at each other in the face. Oh my God. There's there's some I just got recently some clips of us doing the show. Yeah, we were like standing so close to each other, just sweating all over each other and doing, you know, singing and doing our show. They're probably all standing like this. We were. We were. I got it. I you'll see a clip of it someday where I'll put it out. You won't believe it. Wow. It was there. And then in the exactly the space of this really the stage and no self dancing and singing. And we had a piano on stage. Yeah, you didn't. What are you guys doing? I've got a lot of my stuff laying on the piano. I'm not kidding. I hope you were casting like 90 pound four foot gay men because I mean, that's one of them was six foot four to probably 200 pounds. And then yeah, do you still know them? Could you think you could give me his phone number? Is he available? I have all died. Oh, well, let's take a break. There you go. That's the only one alive. She's like, anyway, they've all died. I have a cookbook available for you. Yes. For all of your friends who don't. I was not doing the cooking. I have one thing Pete just so many had to tell you which occurred in the post office cabaret. I was getting ready for a show once in this girl who was before me. I won't say who she was, but she was like a legacy drive who you've been there many seasons. And I was after her. And I was sitting back there, you know, the area to put makeup on is this big, right? You're seeing that put your makeup on. And there's a curtain. And you can hear the other person's show. It's maybe five feet from you. And you can hear them stopping around. You can hear them breathing. I mean, you can hear all of it. And you're putting makeup on you're trying to be quiet. I put my makeup on at home and then came. That's probably smarter. Thank you. So I just a tip for next time. I'm seeing their bald as the day is long with like no shirt on, trying to put makeup on. And I hear her go, yeah, and Trixi Mattel's on after this. You guys like Trixi and the audience went, woo, which I'm grateful for. And then she goes, she's actually right back here. Do you guys want to see? And she snatched back the curtain. No. And I'm sitting there at Evanity. Like you're the audience, Cassandra, and I'm sitting there with a makeup brush. And I just go like, and then she just lets the curtain fall. And I was a weird mix of man. But so embarrassed. I also was like, God, I also tried to get into the psyche of like, why did you think that was okay? That was so odd. The middle of your show. Did you kill her? When you went out there? We never discussed it. - You never discussed it? - I'm too avoidant. Oh, oh, I would have, oh. - Yeah, what would you have done? - Kill her. - Well, thank you. Also, I'm shirtless. What if you were topless as a girl sitting back then you're like, "Hey, I'm gonna blow up." - Yeah, and like without my wig on, during my makeup and my hair's all pulled up and a little tight thing with bobby pins on. - Little pink curls. - Yeah. - Yeah. - No, God. No, I'd kill somebody that did that. - Kill somebody. - I would. - When I, I can't really check out. - Wait, Michelle, I'll kill her for you. - Please, I'll give you your phone number. - Okay. - I'm gonna be in honor for you. - I'm a person for you to kill them. Isn't that the dream? I was killed by Alvira. That's how I died. It was awesome. - I have to do it if they do that to you. - Yeah. I have to ask you, obviously, I can't wait to check out your cookbook and I hope everybody checks it out. But when I read your book, you were so candid and for a long time fan like me who thought they knew everything, it was really deeper. It was, you were so open. - Thank you. - And you know, we always like it deeper. So it's very vulnerable. - Don't we all? - And I don't know if it's okay to say, but I really thought- - That's what they said. That's my new thing. I don't say that's what he said or that's what she said. - That's what they them said. - Yeah. - Okay. - The way you talked about being not entirely heterosexual, the way you, it was like very banal information almost, the way it was just factual, the way it wasn't a rocket going off, I kind of thought really was like, the way to discuss that of the future. It was like, don't we all want a world where like, this is the type of relationship I have and it's like passive, almost like non-information. I felt the way you presented it was so, oh yeah, and there's this. Anyway, the next day I had my wig on, you know, I just thought that was so beautiful. - Thank you. It's very funny you said that. And you know, my manager might, he might have gone off and disappeared. No, no, stay with him. - Is that to say we can cut that? - It's very odd. On the way, no, on the way here, I was talking to my manager about my dad. And I said, you know, my dad just, like if somebody pissed him off, he would kill them. - Right. - He was like, and, but I said my dad would say the most embarrassing things to people like, we'd be in Vegas and he'd go, somebody that worked in the show or a celebrity and go, well, how much money do you make? You know, and, and I said, he would just say, and Scott said, yeah, he just had no filters. He just, I mean, he just said, this is what it is. This is like it is, you know, no bullshit. - Yeah. - And, and when you say that to me, I kind of feel like, hey, maybe that's something I got from my dad. - Yeah. - Just say things that happened and like, is what it is, were you gonna lie about it? People will find out later. You know, you're gonna make it up, they'll find out. You're gonna, I don't know. Just say it, what do you have to lose? - Right. - Unless you do something bad and, you know, still someone's money or something, don't tell them that. - I guess I mean, for a public figure, it's like if some people when they share that part of their love life or the type of love life they have, they go on like a press tour for it. Like, like, and the way you disclose it was really like, just like, oh, by the way, anyway, here's the next page of the book and I just thought it was, not that you didn't touch it in earnest way, but I thought it was like, so cool. - Well, thank you. Yeah, well, it just basically happened. - Love it. - Yeah, and I was thinking of a nice thing about a relationship to, and a meeting is that, all my life, I was thinking about drag queens and makeup and I'm slapping on makeup, you know, the day and I'm thinking. Nice thing about my relationship with hers that she saw me at my worst every day. I was at the gym. I didn't have any makeup on. I was sweaty. We got to know each other for six years, you know, working together. And I thought, I'm not doing this phony, tons of makeup to go out and like, trap a guy, trick one, you know. And then later, he sees you, you get married and you look, you know, no makeup or anything. They're like, oh, God, when I marry, you know, and I thought, she just saw me like, every day as a real person, and I was very comfortable and very, I knew what I was getting. She knew what she was getting and it was nice. - I was sick of my husband leaving the toilet seat up all the time, that part. - Right. - Just, you know, got to me, finally. - Well, if you ever need anybody to be in love with you for when you're all dressed up, I'm here for you though. Okay. - Thank you. - Okay, I do. - Thank you so much for coming on the ball to be here. - Yeah, thank you. This was super fun. - I'm a long time, long time in my review and I will support you. I'll go to hell for you. I love you. - Wow. Well, I love you too. And I think you're incredibly talented. - Can you tell people this is your camp? Tell them exactly who they can get your book. - You can find my cookbook, Elvarez Cookbook from Hell, which is really an entertaining guide. And my new children's book, that's right. I've got a children's book called Elvarez First Book of Monsters. You can find them both on Elvire.com or at any of your finer local bookstores. (laughs) - Thank you. (upbeat music) (upbeat music)