Elizabeth Banks Returns

Hi, my name is Elizabeth Banks, and I feel blessed. Wow. About being Conan O'Brien. You are a terrific actress. Thank you. You are. That was, that took a lot. You might be the best. Books and pens, I can tell that we are going to be friends. I can tell that we are going to be friends. Hey there. Welcome to Conan O'Brien. Needs a friend. I'm sitting here with Sonna of Session. Bless to be sitting with you, Sonna. Hey, that's nice. And also, filling in from Matt Gourley, is our trusty David Hopping. Hello. Also blessed. Oh, yeah, sure. You're also blessed to be sitting here with me too. I think you're more blessed to be with me. But anyway, you're hanging on by a thread. We have something to talk about today, which is Sonna. Apparently, and I have not talked to her about this yet, but she told me that she had a very intense fracas. It's a word you don't hear much. Yeah. On the street with somebody, and I want to hear what happened. Tell your tale, Sonna. Tell your tale. It was not a pretty sight. So sometimes, look, sometimes when I'm walking oaky, I have a leash. Look, slow things down a bit. Oaky is your dog. Oaky is my dog. I'll take her off the leash for a little bit of the walk. A lot of people do it. Cops have driven by nobody cares. But this one day, I'm walking by this guy's house. And I have my headphones in, and I hear him talking to me. And I take off my headphones, and I turn on, he's filming me. And he's going, walking your dog off a leash is a crime. You see, word? What? Wait, wait. I'm not kidding. Wait, don't move past that. He called you the seawater. He called me the seawater. Like 45 times. Wait, what? I'm not even kidding. It was like this crazy man. And the thing is, like, I was shocked at first when I turned around, and then I turned around, and I was just like, fuck you. And then I start screaming at him. And he's yelling at me, calling me the seawater over and over and over again. And then at one point, and Oaky was such a dick for this. Oh, Oaky's still there. She's still there. I thought Oaky had left. I thought Oaky had left and would go on a flight or something. She did not like the vibes. So she starts walking into the street. And it makes me look bad. Because she's like, I'm like, yeah, he's like, he was walking a dog. He's off the leash is a crime. You see work. Like he's like foaming at the mouth. And then Oaky walks into the street and he goes, look, your dog's going to, your dog's going to die. And I'm going to help kill it. Yeah. And he's saying this crazy, crazy stuff to me is this man's had a break of some kind. I don't know what's going on. I have no idea. But of course, like instead of just being like, sir, you need to calm down. I yell back at him. Yeah. And I'm just calling him the effort. I'm saying he is an old pathetic loser. Like I'm saying all this awful. And because you run hot. I've been with you. When Sona sees ready happens instantly. Yeah. And I remember a time when we talked about it years ago. When you and I were in, uh, we were in New York and we were at, I think Sarah baths or something on the other side. Yes. And we were with a friend of yours and an old man across the room. Shushed us because you were talking a little loudly. And you I saw your pupils disappeared and your eyes were just all white. And you were like, excuse me, excuse me. Yeah. And he was like too loud. And you're like, yeah, they got too fucking loud. And I'm just the whole time I'm thinking, oh, this is page six in the post because I'm sitting here like an idiot. Yeah. And I was trying to calm you down and you only get angrier. You went a little crazy too. So this guy made them, he yelled at the wrong person. He's matching my craze. And he's like put into the thing is though, he's filming me. So he's on the, he's on the, he's in front of his door. I'm on the sidewalk. I'm just standing here like they're yelling at each other back and forth. And then I'm just like, oh, my God, where is this going? Like where's this film going? And is it, is it, am I going to get canceled for being ages? So I'm just like at one point I switched and I'm just like, why are you being so rude? And then I Oh, you decided to clean it up a little bit. This is after, this is after you've already bitten him in the leg. I said some awful stuff. And then one boy he kept calling me to see word. And I was like, you're lucky. I like that word. I go, I've reclaimed it. So fuck you. I want to see those videos. You know, we have to see. I googled it just in case. No, it's not. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. He probably posted it on like next door if he posted it anywhere. But also it won't make him look better. Maybe he doesn't know. Maybe he thinks he buried the phone instead of prayer. And he thinks that's how it goes out. Like he might not know some people. I don't know. I wouldn't know how to post a video. Yes, you would. You have people do it for you. Yeah. When he, I mean, yeah, at this point, I have David taking me to the bathroom. I'm going to find the guy in all post the video for us. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It would be a great video to see. But it is upsetting that he called you that. He called me it. I've never heard that word come out of a man's mouth that many times. So he's so angry. And then at one point I was walking, okay, and he went back inside. And then I just see him pop out of the back of his house. And he starts filming me again. And it was, I got cartoonish at this. Maybe he had a crush on you. I mean, maybe he wanted this. I don't know. That is how I used to act towards women. I really like. Oh, no. Yeah, I would wait. Now I would film them. And I would shout the C word. And you know what? It didn't work. Oh. Until it did. Liza said I love this man. He speaks his mind. Yeah. No, that is, that's intense. It was intense. So how far away do you live from this guy? He's like around the block from me. So what are we going to do? So here's then what happened. I went home and I told Tak what happened. And Tak got really upset. Sure. And Tak's like old school. You can't, you can't see stuff like that to my wife. And so I was like, let's sleep on it. I bet it's funny tomorrow. And it was. So you both gummed up. So we both gummed up. He can't talk to my wife that way. Let's take a gummy and do it. Mmm. Tropical fruit. Mmm. Snores, snores, snores, snores, snores. Uh, where were we? Oh yeah, that guy. Let's get in. So then the next day, you know, where at home we dropped the boys off. It's cool. We come back home and I'm just like doing stuff. And I didn't hear from Tak for a minute. And then I heard the door opening. He came back and he's like, I talked to the guy. Oh wow. And I'm like, what do you mean? You talked to him. And he just knocked on his door. The guy opened the door. And Tak was like, if you ever talked to my wife like that or threatened my dog, I'll have you arrested for assault. And then you walked away. And then the guy started being like, fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. You know, just like crazy yelling back at him. And then he was, I think he went to go get his camera and then went out and started filming. Tak walk away. Well, it sounds like he got the message. How do you guys had either of you seen this man before? Never saw him before. I never saw him before. But he really, we're not going to walk by his house. You know, I'm going to say something. And this just occurred to me because we, this is the time that we live in. Going up and knocking on someone's door like that. I know. That because we live in this era where someone can shoot you through the door and say, I was standing my ground. Whatever. I don't know. Yeah. I don't know that I respect what Tak was doing. He was standing up for you. I have mad respect for Tak. But that, I don't know if he should be doing that. I told him not to. I told him, I said, I said that exact thing. I was like, what if he shoots you through the door? And he goes, well, then that's murder, right? And I'm like, yeah, but he'll be dead. I showed him. Tak's up and having shy shout you. Oh, wait a minute. I know. I think it was just eating him up inside. And also, I don't, I think that guy's all talk. I bet if I walked up to him, he'd be scared. You know what I think? I think you should assume he's all talk and keep harassing him at his doorway. Yeah. That's just my advice as a friend. Is this gonna be a man with a documentary? Get him in. Oh, put on masks and the cheese him at night. Right at his doorstep. Yeah. I mean, you know, my petty side kicked in. And I was just like, should I just take Oki's poop and spread it all over his lawn and the front door. Should I egg his house like I used to egg houses and back when I was in high school. But then I slept on it. And then the older mother version of me. Kicked in and was like, you know what? Let's let this lie. She said, yeah, don't stay away from this guy. And if anyone harasses him, it should be me. And it should be done in a way that we can monetize for the show. Okay. Oh, that's nice. Do you know what I mean? Like, yeah, we resolve it. Yeah. What the fuck? Did you make a big noise over there? I dropped my pen. But I'm gonna say he's got like, he got pots and pans over there. Because he's like the sound effects guy in a drive time show. I'm making it. Bang, bang, bang, bang. So my podcast gulage. No, I was gonna say we could Scooby do it and make him think his house is haunted. I think you know, no, no, I'm just saying where you're saying we dress up with masks and stuff. If we could engineer a way for you to be shot through the door. Then we've got something. And just something to think about. All right. We got to move on here. I have so many good ideas today. My guest today is an actress, producer and director. You know from such films is wet hot American summer pitch perfect and the hunger games. Now you can see here in the new peacock series, the miniature wife. I just. door her, I love it when she comes by. (upbeat music) Elizabeth Banks, welcome. This is one of those ones where the fact that the guest has to say anything about being my friend is ridiculous because we are really good friends. - Oh no, I love you. - And one of the great discoveries was that you and your super cool husband are just such nice people and fun to hang with. And we've hung out in a bunch of different situations and had a blast. - Yeah, so we have a blast. I know it always feels, I always feel weird whenever I do someone's podcast where I know like where we have like a actual relationship, that this becomes like a weird like performance of our relationship. - But you know what this is? - We're just gonna perform being friends. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. (laughing) - I know we've hung out. - It'll go great. - It'll be mountain for days on end. (laughing) - And while I-- - I know what convinced you to order those mashed potatoes and that milk bread at that time. - Our kids have thrown rocks at each other and we've intervened and now-- - Your kid broke my TV once as I recall. - I think he did. - Oh no. - He did, yeah. My son always into tech and likes to take things apart but then not put them back together yet. - He was like, I got it, I got it. And then we came down to remote control. We were like, we'd have no idea. - Yeah. - I turn our TV on every day. - Yeah, well, just try to bill me. - Just try to bill me. - Yeah, there's a lot to talk about. I'm very excited about this new project of yours which we will talk about the miniature wife because it looks fantastic. - It's fun, it's fun, it's absurdist. - And you're one of my favorites and then you're opposite one of my favorite people who I, I don't think I've met. - Matthew McFaddean, yeah. He doesn't wanna meet you. (laughing) - Oh man, yeah. - You don't like me. - You don't like me. - You've been in an airport lounge with him and he has left the airport lounge. - Wow. - And canceled this flight. - Wow, wow, wow. - He is so, he's a delight. - He is so good in everything. And so the idea of you two together and this seems like a really funny idea. I absolutely love it. - Yeah, that's the miniature wife. See, this is me now. I have to like tell you what it is, right? The miniature, is that what I'm supposed to do? The miniature wife is premiering on peacock in April and yeah, it's this really fun, absurdist comedy about a couple who have a lot of relationship issues and are working through them, but then he accidentally shrinks her to six inches tall and she becomes his miniature wife. - I like how you add, you just toss that in. - Yeah. - Like everyone does that. - Yeah, and you see where this is going. - Yeah, and right, you got it. - She's drunk to six inches, but it looks really funny. And so I am excited about that. - Thank you. - And just also excited to have you on. We have a lot in common where both Massachusetts people. - I still have my Patriots nails on from the Super Bowl. - Yeah. - I did my nails for the Super Bowl and then I kept them because you know, we have the red, white and blue colors for the Olympics and all of that. - And you're also a Patriot just in general. - I am, I'm very patriotic. I just wear red, white and blue nails at all times. - I had my nails painted for Ken Burns's Revolutionary War documentary. So yeah, we all have our different reasons. - How good is that documentary? - It's fantastic. - It's unbelievable. - Let's talk about that instead. (laughing) I like the part where George Washington is shrunk down to six inches. - Yeah. - Yeah. - No one's not coming. - You're from Massachusetts and, but you're from a part of Massachusetts that might as well be, you know, Oz to me. - Yeah. - 'Cause I grew up right outside Boston in Brooklyn and you could proactively roll out of bed and step into Boston. You're in pits field. - Yeah. - I don't think I've been in pits field in my life. - That's you and many, many, many people. - It's way out there. - Yeah, it's in Western maths on the border of New York. So we were sort of like a suburb of Albany. And in fact, I grew up in what we call in Massachusetts a divided house, a Yankees Red Sox House. - Oh, I've heard of those. - Yeah. So my dad's radio growing up his whole life, the news that they got was out of Albany in New York. So it was a lot of Yankees. And my mom, who's from Boston proper, Red Sox family. So grew up very much like we would go, I sort of lived equidistant between New York City and Boston. So we'd go down Yankees Stadium and we would go to Fenway. And every year we still have that tradition. I took my dad last summer. We'll go again this summer. Like it's still our tradition to watch the Yankees in Red Sox. - Okay, I'm a good deal older than you, but I don't know if this was your experience growing up 'cause things that may have changed. The Red Sox Yankee rivalry became more genteel at some point. And I also think baseball in general because teams switch up their rosters practically every year. I come from the era where, you know, the Red Sox team stayed the Red Sox team and changed very little for years and years on end. And it wasn't a rivalry with the Yankees. We hated them, hated them, and everyone in Boston hated them and they hated us. And there were fights between players and there were brawls. And it was this vitriol. And late now, it feels like it all got more genteel. Do you know what I'm talking about or is it? - I absolutely agree with that actually. And I don't know how that happened. When did that happen? It's interesting. Yeah, I remember the big poppy years, the Damon, and all those years were like, yeah, well, because also the rivalry was, we would get so close. I watched them win, the Red Sox win against the Yankees going to the World Series in a hotel bed like crying. - Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - When they finally won the World Series, I had the same thing. I was crying and calling my brothers and we were all emotional, I mean, crying for us means slightly moist hours, which could have been pollen by the way. - That's the Irish way, that's the Irish way. - So you grow up in Pittsfield and then it's also rural, so I picture you running around with unicorns. - We did, unicorns is interesting. Do you know how many people think unicorns are real? Unicorns and dragons, real, I love that. - Really, I didn't know that. - That's like our shared mythology, I'm fascinated by humanity's shared mythologies. And that's one of them is unicorns and dragons, right? Because dragons were in every culture and they'd never existed as far as we can tell. So you're sort of like, what were people all over the world in different cultures imagining the flying lizard thing was? - I'm okay. - And we all agree that it's just, it's like in all of our literature. - I will believe in it in a dragon long before I will believe in a unicorn. And I'm just saying this to anyone out there that thinks there's a unicorn, there is no unicorn. - No unicorns. - There has been a unicorn. - I had a friend from Australia who 100% believed unicorns were real. As an adult woman, I had to be like, they're not. I don't know how to break it to you and I felt terrible. - There's a medication for that. (laughing) - I didn't grow up with unicorns, but I did go cow tipping. And I had one of those very, like, John Hughes' in high school experiences. - Right around. - Yeah, running around in the woods, like wheeling, rolling kegs out into a corn field. By the way, running, hiding in corn fields, hiding off the pontoon boat on the lake where we were all skinny dipping and like, you know, very classy Americana. - I've never been naked, so I don't know. (laughing) - I was, that's your say. - I imagine you covering your junk with a washcloth in the shower at all times. Like, it doesn't want to take a peek. - Liza once saw me naked and I shrieked. - Oh no, I'm suing her. I feel violated. So, you know what's funny is you were a jock. You were really good at sporty. I don't know, yeah, I was sporty. - Yes, I was. - You were a big ol' jock. (laughing) - You imagine. - You were a weightlifter and a shot putter. You had a thick, I've seen pictures of you, thick neck, your neck just went right into your head. - It's called, yeah, it's called bolt. - It's called bolt. - And bolt. - But you were a great softball player, right? - I was, I was on the all-star softball team and I-- - That was kind of the track you were on. - Well, I needed money to go to college. - So, I definitely thought I'd better be sporty and maybe I'll get recruited so I don't know, you know. - You know, you're 13, what do you know? And so, I was really into it. My dad loves baseball. That's why we've been talking about it so funny. And he was like, a coach and he was, he was just really into it. So, it was also just, I'm the oldest and it was sort of my way of really spending a lot of time with my dad and played a lot. And then I was sliding into third base at a practice and I spiral fractured both my TAB and Fabula and my like foot was hanging like sideways to my knee, like 90 degrees, just dangling off there. And I spent a really long time on crutches and in a cast and that fall, which at the time, was the worst thing that had ever happened to me and was going dream crusher on every level and separated me from all my friends and the thing that I like to do, I found acting because of it, which is crazy. - That's interesting, 'cause this ties in with this theory, I try to tell this to young people, there are so many times where this giant boulder lands in your path and you're convinced this is the end. - You did it in your, you said that in your commencement speech. - Yeah, you think it's over and then you take a different road and you think, well, this is, and I think I've, I swear to God, I've had like seven of those. And then. Later on, you think, "Oh my God, look at the life you had." - Well, of course, it is so hard to see it in the moment. - Yeah, you can't. - You gotta go through it. - No seeing it in the moment. You have to get all the way through it and then sort of take that look back and the older we get, and Lord knows I'm so old now. - You're a child. I'm looking at a child right now. (laughs) - But you get that perspective comes more and more and more, and all those really big feelings you had about these very big moments in your life. They really start to fade, don't they? Those feelings, they just get a little smaller and a little gentler and you're just so much easier with all that, and I feel so easy about that time in my life when, in fact, it was really, really bad. - Yeah, and you're crushed. And I actually think that is maybe the biggest role of being a parent is just to provide perspective, 'cause there's so much we can't, you know? Initially, once you're past the feed them, help them grow, get them clothing and shoes, once you, you know, there's all that stuff, but then there's this whole part that you and I are probably getting into more now, where it's just explaining to them, it's not as bad as you think it is. Literally, that's 99% of the job. - It's 99% of life. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm saying, yeah, you're not right, you're an idiot. (both laughing) - Being a parent of teenagers, which is me now, is who, it's so hands off on so many levels. And then also, like, I'm really watching how, and being reminded how hard it is to be a human. Like, it's just so hard to be a human, and function properly, and take care of yourself and other people in any decent way. And we have so little leadership to point to at this moment in time. And so you're sort of like, right, teaching them how to be a decent, like, it's just, it's impossible. It's impossible, watching them. - Well, I think that the, I was so proud once of the fact that I've calmed down, I have more perspective, I'm slower to freak out. And I was really giving myself a pat on the back and I was talking to my mother-in-law about it. And she was a very smart woman, and she had trained as a therapist, and she, so I was explaining to her, yeah, I've really come a long way, and I think I see it. And she said, well, yeah, well, your testosterone levels have fallen long. - Exactly. - And I just, explained to her, like, I never had a lot of testosterone. - Yeah. - They've actually gone up, I'm taking a pill now. But no, it's, but she was right. I realized, oh, yeah, there's, okay. So much from my zen wisdom. - That middle age really, you know, remember, we're like two generations away from people who only live to 50, right? So like, once you're past that, you're in some evolutionary place that humans have never really been in. - Yeah. - And it is so true, I was, you know, I was talking, I had a girl's week in Utah recently, skiing my favorite thing. - Did you think you would be? - Yeah, I like to be invited to a girl's week. - Oh, yeah. - I blend right in. - He does. - We'll get a manny petty. - Yeah, we did. We didn't have massages. But just talking about how little we give us it about so many things that used to really get in our crawl. And now we're just like, I think it's just we don't, you literally lose the hormones that make you care enough to like mate and do child rearing. - Yep, yep. - And now I don't have any of those. - Right, right. - I'm like, I don't really, I mean, do whatever you want. I'll do whatever I want. Does that seem like a good plan for the next 50 goddamn years? (laughing) 'Cause really, we're gonna keep this going. (laughing) 'Cause my body is saying nope, silver. (laughing) This is what you have to look forward to, kids. If you're in your 20s, listen to this, that's what's coming for you. You know what I love? The detail about you, which makes total sense now is that growing up and you get into acting and the person, your role model, you know, is thinking who would, who would, was your thanks role model be as an actor? Who would she want to grow up to be? And it makes total sense. But yours was Harrison Ford. - I love Harrison, I want to be L. Well, first of all, when people ask me, you know, I was a real go geter as a straight-a student, you know, I'm like a hard worker like you. And so really, it is a work ethic thing. I just believe you get up every day and you gotta do something with your time. And as well, like, you know, get an A in math and whatever, I don't know. (laughing) And so I've just always like had this work ethic, like this like engine inside me. And someone was asking me about like how that fed into everything else I ever did. And I was like, I was competitive with boys always. Like I, oh, and it's, I think it's because the world was not made for girls. And when I looked around, I was told you can be anything you want to be. And everywhere that I looked, the boys were getting to do that. So I was like, just really competitive with boys, my whole life. And so when people ask me like, who did you want to be as an actor? I'm like, I wanted to be Indiana Jones. And I wanted to be Han Solo. And I wanted to go on adventures. And I wanted to have these incredible, like that's what I wanted. And the damsel and distress was not interesting to me. And like, you know, I think it really just comes down to, I came into this, like, rare to go and wanting, I want my peace. - Yeah. - And if you're a woman, the men get all the pieces. So it's like, I don't know. But it's always, it did not occur to me to not have my role model be Harrison Ford. - Yeah, I mean, and also when I look at your career, yes, you have had this great on camera career. But you really quickly, it was like, I'm going to be producing. I'm going to be writing. I want to be directing. I'm imagine that was not an easy thing for you to break into. - No, it wasn't. I mean, it took a lot of planning and hard work. Definitely wasn't just luck. It was something that I was ambitious about and wanted to do. And of course, you have to be in the right place at the right time and all those things have to line up and you have to find the things. You know, it's, I think my last movie was the movie that speaks to this point the most though, right? Like, I feel like I was starting to get, like, well, she makes movies with like a lot of women in them. And I was like, well, then I'm going to make cocaine bear. - Yes. - So good. And I maintain, maintain, maybe there's like, one of the three best movie titles of all time, when I heard that, first of all, I'd be up for anything that you were involved in. But when I heard that it was cocaine bear, I became a cocaine out of there. - Don't even watch if you don't need a trailer. You just want to see it. - I need a trailer. - No, we said that. We were like, it's like snakes on a plane. You know exactly what it's going to be guys. There's going to be a bear that's on cocaine. I only say that to say, I don't like, I don't, I like surprising people. I don't like being put in a box. I feel like I still have a lot to offer. And nothing's gone the way I thought it was going to. - Yeah. Well, nothing ever does. - Nothing ever does. - It's a kooky football play. This was the idea, and you're going to break that way, and the hole's going to be over here, and then I'm going to throw that way, and then, hot, hot, hi, and then bang. - Just giant play. - Everything goes to shit, and then the next thing you know, you're running through the stands with the football, and it's illegal, but you're still going, and that's been my experience in show business and in life, in general. - I agree. - And, you know, but I love that idea that you were not having it, and you were, this is what I'm going to do. And what's interesting is, and there's no way to say this without embarrassing you, but you are a very beautiful, you're a very beautiful woman, and I imagine that people can dismiss. You know what I mean? It would be easy for people to say, here's this stunning, stunning blonde bombshell. - I'm just your type. (laughing) I appreciate it so much. But like, if you love Padma Lakshmi, like, I'm not for you. I love you for saying this. - I'm just saying. - But I'm also like, come on, Conan. I just look very like much like your life. (laughing) - Okay. - I did think I was marrying you. I didn't have contacts at the time. No, yes, my wife is very beautiful. - My wife is very beautiful. You are both very beautiful, but I'm just saying it's, I remember, I mean, I didn't know you the first time I started seeing you and things when I saw you show up on 30 Rock, you are quite stunning, and I don't know if that makes it easier for people to say, what do you mean you're going to produce? - What do you mean you're going to direct? - Well, also, I was, so yeah, I was like, look, I'm that blonde actress, Small Boobs, and I have a husband that produces with me. So it's like, okay, the actress in her husband are gonna make a movie and it's like, I get, yeah, we're gonna try our hardest. I don't know, it was, I don't want to say it's easy to dismiss somebody who's good looking because I've had a lot of success being good. looking, so I'll take it over anything else every day. I had a lot of champions. You have to do the work, and so at the end of the day, I just put in the work, and I didn't really think about what I look like or any of that stuff. It was just, I absolutely have faced a lot of obstacles for it. I was literally told by a big producer once, I just don't think men are gonna follow you as a director, and I was told, women just, you don't get action movies. You're never gonna be able to do an action movie. I literally had people look me in the eye and say those things to me. So I don't wanna dismiss the obstacles, but I really was like what we were just saying about having a lot of grace for those moments in time. Just, they build you up, and you move through it, and you just do the work, and put your head down, and that's what you lead by example. That's all I've ever tried to do. - Well, I would say to anybody that has played any kind of party game with Elizabeth, been any social situation with her, been in any scene her out in the world? Yeah, I would put you in charge of the forces invading a country. - I wanna know more about the party games. - I would like to do that. - Oh, don't fuck with her. - That's true. - I actually just got kicked out of playing settlers of Katan with some friends, you guys. I don't know if you know this nerd game, but you know it's a good time. - I got, it's a game where you, it's kind of, it's an older game now, it's been around for a hot minute, but essentially, you have to negotiate with people for things like you're trying to build the longest road, and you're trying to build a civilization, you're a settler of this island, Katan. And so you have to negotiate. And I basically, I became such a cutthroat negotiator, like no, you will give me that week, because you did that, and I, and like, that where people are just like, is getting too intense. - Oh, no, you can't. - And you don't allow to play with these people anymore. - We touched on this last time, so I won't go into it, but let's just say, I was in a situation where I was playing this fun party game with kids, okay, adults, and at one point, someone said, you know, Elizabeth wants to speak to, and I went, and your face had become a mask. - Oh my God. - And you, I don't even think you were there anymore, and you were telling me what needed to happen, and you were 100% right. She was 100% right. And I was like, well, and she's like, you know, pull yourself together, man, 'cause it was doing. And in that moment. - We're trying to win. - Yeah, we're trying to win. Pull yourself together. But I just, she slapped me. But in that moment, I saw like, hey, Eisenhower did a great job with D-Day. But had he not been available, and we had a time machine, I'd get Elizabeth Banks. And I think we would have been in Berlin a year earlier. - Oh yeah, I would have handled that. - Yeah. (laughing) - Really, really impressive. - It's an entire theme of our conversations as far as is my intense competitiveness. - I mean, I, but also I don't have any issue with that. I like people that care. I like people that do the work, have a really strong work ethic. And I think the rule is you need to treat other people well. And sometimes it can be tempting if you're, if you're really incredibly determined and psyched to not treat other people well. And you have to watch yourself all the time. Or you can be brussed with people. And David, of course, you've never seen that happen once. Okay, you're dismissed, by the way. - Okay, bye bye. - But, so yeah, it's a constant challenge, but I think do the work. Do the work. And care, care about it. - But it is funny. I mean, you're bringing up a, I've definitely had those moments too though where, as a leader, I'm like, oh, not everybody wants to work a hundred hours a week. That's just me. I'm like, oh, right. That's, it's, you do really have to take care of people that are, you know, I want to go a million miles a minute, although less so now. I say that, like every day. - But you know what? - Here's the thing. 'Cause I say that all the time. - I know, and I realize this. And I always say to lies, why do people make me, and she always step in and go, no one's making you know. - I know, I know. - You have this idea. You said we're gonna build a giant catapult. - Yeah, exactly. - And, you know, whatever. - Go around. - So yeah, exactly. So it's my own, it's my own. - You always will say, like, hey, let's try to keep the schedule a little light next month and then. - That's so nice. - Yeah, everything, yeah. - Every month of my life. And it's never, it never happens. I'm always like, oh, yeah, I, saying no. No is a complete sentence. Here we go. And then I'm like, well, if you can make it work with the schedule and then someone's like, so you want to do it. And I'm like, well, I'd be interested in doing it if it works with the schedule. I think that's a worthwhile thing to pursue and do. Okay, so we're doing it. Oh, we're doing it? Oh, shit. Okay, well, I guess you scheduled it. - And then I switch, but then I switch into this, I'm indignant, that someone made me do this. - Yeah. - Who is it? - There's no winner. - Who is it, David? Why is this on the schedule that Conan build stone walls? - Gonna start recording it in the woods of Maine. And then just like, you wrote me a text that said I've agreed to build this stone wall in Maine. - Exactly. - So yeah, that's my own doing. I'm curious, 'cause you talk about this dynamic, being a woman in this industry and also trying to manage being in a relationship. I feel like all of this would be addressed in this new show a little bit. - Ah. - Do you know what I mean? Don't you think? - Love a segue. - That's what I was thinking. It's like, there's this obviously really cool looking, 'cause if people check out the show, it's a very cool, when you shrink down and you're having these scenes with Matthew, it's a very cool looking, like fun looking dynamic. But then I'm thinking like, this is talking about something that's probably close to your heart. - I definitely, it's based on a short story. And when I read the story, it really is about how you minimize your partner's feelings and how women generally are very minimized. And it's how culture that happens, but also in relationships like between, in the power dynamics in a couple. And I definitely felt like it was a fun metaphor, like a very on the nose metaphor. And then also we get to really play with it because this character is very complicated and not a great person. Neither one of them are particularly great people. And you're kind of like rooting for them to figure out that they're the best version of each other when they're whole and together. The show was really technically challenged. My husband, Max said that he thought it was the least mentally prepared I was for a job ever. And I think he was right. I just didn't realize how technical being six inches tall was I was on a green screen half the time. Matthew and I were separated. I live in a literal dollhouse, which was great. They built like a replica of my home that I live in, but he's in a real size house like doing everything. And then they would make these incredible life-size props. So a remote control that's six feet tall bigger than me that I like can't push, you know, I'm trying to push buttons and a travel size toothpaste that comes up to my chest and a giant Chanel lipstick at one point because still got to look pretty when you're six inches tall, I guess, patriarchy. It was really fun. My co-star becomes like a doll, like an action figure, like a guy who goes to space, you know. And things like that. So it was really, the technical stuff was really fun and wild. At one point, I jump off of a toilet onto a plunger and they built a life-size 30-foot tall plunger that I like wire onto and slide down and-- It's incredible. I think it's a toilet plunger. But I was the moment. It was amazing. I have moments. I walked down to set. I was like, who, how does this-- I don't know people's brains. And this is where you're saying, hey, where's this AI? I've been hearing so much about. But I have so many moments in my life because I went down this crazy stupid path where I step outside my body and say, what are you doing? I'll be in an absurd situation, an absurd outfit, doing an absurd thing at my age. And you just do it because it's the work. And then you're standing there and you're stepping outside yourself and you catch a glimpse of yourself and a reflection and you go, what happened? And so you're thinking, OK, I got into this to be Harrison Ford. And I'm jumping off a toilet onto a plunger. It's on a wire on a giant green screen. And by the way, so vulnerable-- I've never felt this vulnerable either. I would stand on this giant green box 30 feet in the air so I would get wired up onto it. I'm in all this gear. And the whole room is green except for the area where the crew is. And right before action, I would be like, OK, so where am I again? So I'm outside. It's snowing. There's a cat chasing after me. I'm going to jump off this building, which is just a curb on the street because I'm only six inches tall. So I'm pretending I'm on a curb on a street outside. And it's snowing. And there's a cat and action. And like, I have. - I have to imagine all that in my brain 'cause I'm just seeing green and like Larry, the grip, just walking over to get pour a coffee at the craft service 'cause he's not doing anything, you know? And so I was like, "What is going on?" And they're all just sitting in front of me and I finally said, guys, I actually need you to bring in like some curtains or something. - I can't. - Right, that's too much to ask. That is too much. - Alone in this space, trying to imagine all of these things happening to me. So I can take the audience on the journey of the six inch tall woman and watch, you know, everybody like chitchatting over the donuts. Like, can we, I need a curtain. I need a curtain. So they literally just slated curtain in and put the slated like a 20 buy-in and just put everybody behind it for me. - It is too much to ask. - When you're in those situations and someone walks in, you know, they're shaving or something in front of you. I find that to be, I have been there. You know, it's funny 'cause I was thinking about you've done, you've had all this high profile success, but probably I'm gonna guess. One of the things you hear about the most is a project that at the time you thought, okay, that came and went and no one cared, which is Wet Hot American Summer. Like, that has got to be, that's one of those projects that had all of its life later. Is that right? - Yeah, yeah. It premiered as Sundance in 2001. I was one of my first films. I actually had to pick my name to be on that movie 'cause I'm Elizabeth Mitchell and there was already an Elizabeth Mitchell in SAG shout out to her. She was lovely. She was on Lost, one of my favorite shows forever. And so I had to change my name to Banks. And we read Sundance, we thought it was just the greatest thing ever. And then no one cared, it didn't get no business. And then it started showing, I remember in New York, I wanna say like at Webster Hall or somewhere it started showing like late, like how they used to do Rocky Horror Picture Show. - Yeah. - And so they were, they were having these screens and it was getting like a little traction. And this is back when DVDs have. So then people just had the DVD of it, I guess. And nothing completely changed my life. I went to Sundance, I met my still my manager to this day, 25 years now, it's been. And started going on real auditions, some of which those very early days I had just been for being Spider-Man and catch me if you can. And that led to Seabiscuit, which actually put me on the map in Hollywood. And then years later got an audition for a four-year-old virgin because all those guys, Seth and Evan and all those guys were dicked, you loved it. And then I was in the four-year-old virgin and suddenly, oh, she's funny. And then I got 30 rocks. So like truly, and I'm still friends with David Wayne, I took him on a USO tour while back. - That's great. - We literally went all over the world together, the director, writer, director of it. And I, nothing, yeah. I still to this day, I'm like that. Change my whole, I can't believe I'm part of that. Insane ensemble. - Yeah, there are these movies that I think right after Fargo, I could begin this wrong, but I think after Fargo, which, you know, it's an Academy Award-winning film and it's a huge deal. The Cohen Brothers, I think, made Big Lebowski and people were like, what's this? And this is weird, you know? And it's, at the time, even people making it, you know, on the set, we're probably thinking, what is this? We're making giant bowling pins. And what's happening here? What are we doing? And then, you know, that's probably their, that's the movie that people know every word to, every single word. And it's become this, I don't know, this text that generations memorize. - I'm gonna shout out, we were skiing. Conan knows where I ski. And we were skiing and we were getting lunch. And this, the waiter brought our lunch out. And he was shaking and he had sauce over his face. And I didn't quite clock it at first. That he was, he was basically like, I've barbecue sauce over my face. And he was doing like an homage to the barbecue sauce scene in what had, from 25 years ago, just like 22 year old and he was so excited. Then he was talking, and I shout out to this guy 'cause he really committed to the bit. - Yeah. - It was very impressive. All my friends were like, what is happening? (laughing) And the minute we got it, he just lit up a joy. Like, okay, it works. Like she understands what's happening. - And then you had it fired. (laughing) Like when people were like, what's the weirdest thing of fans ever done? That's close to the top of the list. - But you know, that is, it's one of those gifts that just keeps giving where you do something, you made it, that's a very discreet time in your life when you're very young. And then, you know, someone who's, wasn't born. - Literally not born. - Not born when that was made is now, so here's that you're out there. - Yeah. - And needs to do this. - I know. - To connect with you. - And that's the nice thing too is, in those moments you wanna be the person that they want you to be. - I know. - Of course. - You don't wanna be like, hey, you know, that's not funny. Get that top of your face. - Get that off. Get it off. Get it off. - You know. - No, I always, look it. I get to come and talk to you and get to do these things because people watch the things that I make. - Yeah. - Like period full stop. If people didn't care about the stuff that we made, you and me wouldn't get to be here. So I'm constantly like, ah, thank you so much to anybody who cares at all to watch it. It amazes me constantly. - So what is, okay, you've made this show and what's the next step for you? What's going to the future? Are you really gonna try and calm down a little bit or is that total bullshit? - I literally started off. - 'Cause I'm not gonna calm down. - I was in a writer's room yesterday, Conan. - How much do you love a writer's room? - I love a writer. He doesn't love a writer's room. - Well, I think there are people that don't probably, but I-- - Oh, I love it. - It's the only place. I stopped them from doing work. - None of us know of Conan's in the office and then we just hear a bang and a scream downstairs. 'Cause I always kick the door open in a dramatic fashion and they go, whoa! - And then I start doing a very over-the-top bit. - Are you carrying coffees in or why you gotta kick the door? - No, no, I don't give them anything. - Right, that's okay. It's just confirmed. - It's not about giving. It's about taking. - This is where you and I are very different. I'd have torn that guy with barbecue sauce in space and you asshole. - How dare you, sir! - I'm trying to enjoy my apricot skee! (laughing) Manager! Yeah, so, well, this has been an absolute joy. I love you dearly and yes. - I love you too. - You look, you look a lot like my wife. (laughing) And I'm just-- - It's not weird. - It's not weird at all. And I think Max gets it, right? - He does, he gets it. - He gets it. - And you know what the nice thing? Not threatened at all, why me? - No, no, no, man is. (laughing) Take your shot, Conan. Take your shot. Well, thank you so much. - The miniature wife on peacock. And I've never met your co-star. - That's you. - That's you, I'm gonna tell him to come hang out with you. - We'll just tell him that 'cause he also did a show about the assassination of Garfield. I think it's called-- - Death by Lightning. - He did. - And he plays the assassin, Githyo, Charles Githyo. And I mean, that guy can be anything he wants to be. - Yeah. - Most American accent is really good. - It's better than my American accent. - Most people don't realize how British he is. - Yeah, I'm kind of obsessed with him. And so when I heard you two, obviously I'm obsessed with you. So when I heard you two were making something together and I checked it out and it's really great. And so congratulations, please come back tomorrow. - Yeah. - We'll both be busy. - Yeah, exactly. (laughing) - I'll start managing our schedule too. - Yeah, you get into my schedule. - Yeah, yeah. - Someone will, I'll reluctantly say yes. And then I'll just be here. - I'm judging a potato sac, right? - Yup. - And in Quebec. (laughing) All right, God bless you, God bless you, God bless you. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - Okay, welcome back. We're gonna do a staff review today. These have been quite popular. It's where I pull people in from our little team co-co staff and talk to them. And we find out all kinds of amazing things about the wonderful people that make up my empire. And today we brought in a young lad named Sean Dordy that you're a senior producer. - I'm a senior producer, yes. - And people have said we bear resemblance to one another. - A little bit. - A little bit, you are tall. Irish Catholic. - Irish Fella, you've got a little lost in. - From Boston, which part of Boston you from? - I'm from Braintree. - Okay, Braintree, and you're Burlington. - Close enough. - Good. - And just for our viewers out there. - Burlington. - Oh, welcome. - Yeah, there you go. - You've got a little, a little bit of a pompadour going. - Kind of, kind of. - Kind of. - Was that, did you have that going before you met me? - I did, I swear. sort of guy. Yeah. So I did. I promised for the Oscars. I was shooting this bit where I'm Aunt Gladys from weapons and they had a stunt double stand in for me and you will attest David. And so will you sooner this double look absolutely nothing like me. Why didn't we bring Sean Dordey? I mean, you should have come in. What's that? Can I say we actually use Sean when we were building the studio as a fill in for you. Yeah. Yeah. And you did test podcasts and his were much better. He was funnier. He was faster. So anyway, you have had kind of a remarkable rise here. You started out as an intern. What year? 2018, 2019. At the end of the TBS show. I was there the last year on Warner Brothers. Yeah. Okay. And what was that experience like? It was awesome. And beyond it. Ruthie was my boss. Ruthie Wyatt. Ruthie Wyatt. Who is the best? She has so media priestess. Yes. Fantastic. So it's a lovely job. And also full of sunshine. Yeah. I don't think anybody is gonna be negative and she'll it'll just go away. There's like unicorn sprouting from her head. It's wonderful. So you're working at the show. Did you see terrible behavior? Did you ever see me do anything awful? Oh my God. No, everyone was so good. Everyone was amazing. I love the Warner Brothers. I'm sorry. That's boring. Yeah. We need the drop. We're in a soul. We're in a soul. There you go. There you go. No, we're trying to expose the rocks in our industry. But take down. So you worked as an intern first. And then you've just done so well. Let me tell the listeners a little bit about you. And I'm gonna find a way to shit on you. I just haven't found it yet. It feels like getting called into the principal's office. Right now this is like this is the part where the principal butters you are. You started out really well. Yeah. Third and fourth grade. I thought you showed great promises. Like I put down. Yeah. You you're now have risen to this point where you're in charge of producing Andy Richter's podcast here. Rob Lowe's podcast. Yes. And so you're dealing with those two monsters. No. You can quietly say no. But you know, both of them, both of them scourges on the business. And so you've done really well. And then I find out it was in the trades that you sold the screenplay. Yeah. Yeah. So my question is when am I getting a piece of your success? You've been a barnacle on this boat a long time shot. So is there a part in this screenplay for me? Oh my god. Of course. Anything anything you want. I mean, it's a high school comedy. So I don't know if there is a. I have to say you might have. You might have aged out of your role. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Are you coming here and you tell me I'm true to play high school student when no one would have that take. That is ages. It's a little concerning to just see like you hovering over the teenagers. I don't know if that would be. I think a lot of people would think that guy is right. Yeah. I'm still pre-pubescent at my age somehow. I'm so post-pubescent I came around to pre-pubescent. I've heard it. Of course you. So there's got to be no, I don't play high school student, but there are adults that work at the high school. Do you think you could be principal disciplinarian? What are you talking about? What are you doing right now? You just said you felt like I was being called in a person's office. If you don't find a part in me in this movie, I will sue you into oblivion. I will make up things about you. What grounds are you going to sue him? When you reach my state of the business, which is quite high, this is the level that I'm at right now. I don't need reasons. I've got judges in my pocket. This is a lawsuit. I can handle. Yeah. You kids better cut it out. Now listen here. You nerds. There's no way you're going to win against the joxie because I'm with the jox and you nerds can stay up all night and work on your robot. But there's no way you beat my joxie. What role was that? This is very 1980s, 1970s later. Those nerds did what? Wait, wait, I'm the robot they invented. I've just beat up the football team. This is a great movie. Oh, don't tell me yours explores relationships and stuff that might really happen. It's so boring. You want robots and you want to. I think this is a great headmaster. I think you would be amazing at this. I think you've kind of sold. It takes place in Massachusetts. So this is another point for you. Perfect. I grew up in Massachusetts not far from you. True. Yes. So you're growing up in Massachusetts. What were you interested in? What was your, what, what, what did you aim for in show business? And how did you end up at this fucked up place? How did you wash up on this beach of all places? I mean, I don't know. I wanted to work in late night television and then it died. The second I came to Los Angeles. It was just so. Yeah, it was you that killed it. But then it was unfortunately. Right now. The television was thriving right up until Sean Dory showed up with his cardboard suitcase. Carsh! I'm here from Brain Tree. I'm here to see the big city. Where's the chowder? There's no chowder here. Please, the red socks. There's no red socks either. I don't know why you deserve all this abuse, Sean, but you do everyone. Here's the thing that I find disconcerting. You're beloved. Everybody universally is like, Sean, Sean is such a good guy. They're always talking to me about you. And I don't know what this is. But when I hear too much praise about one of my people, I find a way to try and break them. No. And that's what's happened. You identify a threat from within. I get it. I could, but for you look like me, but you're younger. He's better looking. He's got the leg strength. He could go straight. He could lift things just like the hot cat. Now I'm always checking out when men have too much leg strength. I want them gone. And because I know that they will beat me on the alpha. He could single white female you pretty easily. Oh, you could. That is what I'm planning to do. I will say the first time I ever interacted with you as a PA, you did say we hired this young man, sort of someone tries to assassinate me. This kid will die instead. 20 years old. You're 20th of the first interaction. Because I had read that Saddam Hussein, you know this, right? Saddam Hussein hired all these other Saddam Husains to look like him. So that if someone went to kill Saddam Hussein, there was a 9 out of 10 chance that get the wrong Saddam Hussein. And that made me, first of all, this is why you were hired. Yeah, we saw you. I turned down so many interns that day. And then this guy. Okay, this guy is exactly my high. Sean is six four. He's got the red hair, the pompadour. He's got my look. And I thought, this is perfect. And that's why I kept sending you out for sandwiches, even even when we didn't need sandwiches. I wanted you vulnerable public. And that way you draw out the people that want to hurt Conan O'Brien. And you first thing he got from you. That's the first conversation that you guys had with each other. I am a notorious Hollywood celebrity interaction. And it's you will take a bullet from me. And not you won't do it. You'll do it against your will. Not at loyalty. No, no, no. And it worked because he was attacked constantly. I had him wear a t-shirt that said, I am Conan. He would come into the office with arrows sticking out of him. Rocks had been bounced off his head. He'd been kicked by old women. And you, it was like a sponge that stops up all the hate gravy. You know, I love the thought that the people attacking you are old women. Yeah. And you're so scared of them. You send out a decoy. Yeah, I sent out a 20. I sent out a 20 year old kid. And he just gets beaten. They're hitting you with their purses. They're throwing old Neko wafers at you. And yet I stuck around. I said, give me more. So what's the dream? You've written this screen play now. Would you like to with my friend Caroline? Yes. Okay. I wrote it. Yeah. Okay. And the don't tell me the whole idea, but the basic ideas. These are high school students in Massachusetts. Uh-huh. And and it's an homage to the apartment. The Billy Wilder movie. It's terrific. Yeah. That's crazy. We'll leave the title out of this, uh, but yeah. That makes it sound classy. Yeah. And it's called the fuckboat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. Well, certainly. I'm I'm distancing myself. Yeah, distancing myself from the fuckboat. Uh-huh. Yeah. By the way, I wrote a good luck with that. I wrote a screenplay called the fuckboat. 1987 went nowhere. But um, what happens next? Theoretically, you've sold it. Is there a? How does these things get made? How does it happen? That's the million dollar question. I know. I know very little about the film. But you're your movie star now too. Uh, it's true. Yeah. I'm just flooded with offers. No, I honestly don't understand that business at all. And increasingly, I don't even understand the business I was in. It's all changing so much. But it that's very impressive that you sold a screenplay. And you're kicking ass here at the show. Uh, and people, again, much to my irritation. Think you're a wonderful person. Uh, and I'm tired of it. Yeah. I'm really tired of it. So we're letting you go. That is all right. That is that was the exit interview. I could feel like I can play with the writer's goal. Perfect. Yes. That fuckboat is my title. I had a catamaran when I was in high school and I called it my fuckboat. and you know, I called it my fuckboat, David, so I'd get on it and ride around a little pond and go, "Nobody wants to fuck me. What a twist. What a twist. Um, mine." Oh, this is just so sad watching it. Yeah, me going in a sad circle. No, there was no wind, Charlie Brown. "Nobody wants to fuck me." And then, "Well, can I fuck both?" So that was my screenplay. I think yours is going to be better. Thank you very much. John, thank you. I appreciate it. I'm honored to have you on the team and, uh, hilarious that my first comment to you was that you will draw my assassin. Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Sessian, and Mac Gourley. Produced by me, Mac Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Leo. Themesong by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and BritCon. You can rate and review this show on Apple podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco Hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It, too, could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of Sirius XM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com/Conan. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien needs a friend wherever fine podcasts are done.