The podcast features a lively, humorous discussion combining travel plans, personal anecdotes, and deep reflections on life, aging, and human connection. The host outlines a series of 2026 shows across North America, from Canada to California, with a focus on live performance and camaraderie. A heartfelt moment involves the speaker’s mother falling during a trip, prompting discussion about caregiving and the importance of presence. The conversation also highlights a memorable Special Olympics event, where Frankie Kinyones brings energy and fun as a spontaneous performer. The hosts explore the idea of launching a “Big Brother” mentorship program to support youth, emphasizing the value of human interaction and emotional bonds. They also dig into everyday absurdities—like delivery errors, bizarre ice cream flavors, and chaotic fast-food experiences—while poking fun at automation and robot culture. A recurring theme is the contrast between order and chaos, with the hosts arguing that human error and unpredictability bring authenticity and excitement. The episode concludes with promotional content for Bluetooth Gold and Kachava, both tied to a shared “BadFriends” code, reinforcing the hosts’ playful, irreverent, and deeply human tone. The dialogue blends humor, vulnerability, and insight, creating an engaging narrative that celebrates both personal milestones and the quirks of modern life.
Happy New Year, bad friends, well, 2026. I got a couple of shows I'm going to be doing, Windsor, Ontario, Canada, January 16th. Right after that, I'm in Bethlehem, PA, come out. Also, Hanover, Maryland, then I'm in Atlantic City, then down by San Diego, Bobby's hometown, Valley Center, which is inland a little bit, but by San Diego, then I'm in Canyonville, Oregon, and then Bob and I are doing a show in Lincoln, California. - Yeah, Lincoln! - Bad friends live over in Thunder Valley, Casino, up there by Sacramento. - Then I'm doing the win Casino in Las Vegas, and finally, the little roadie fest out in Providence, Rhode Island, in March. Go to AndrewSantino.com for those tickets, AndrewSantino.com. - You two are bad friends! - You are these two idiots. - Woo! - Like David, and as you did, YouTube, or Disgusting. - Woo! - Well, you two are something. - We're bad friends. - Your mom fell, and you didn't help her, really, Seth. - What? - Rudy said you didn't help your mom, and you-- - Because she was next to her. - It's her, your mom. - I know, I understand that, but when your mom falls, everyone knows this role, where your mom falls, whoever's the closest picture of, everyone knows that. - That sounds like a good one. - Yeah, yeah. She fell over, and before I could respond, Jules was already picking her up. - Yeah, and also it's like, when you're falling off of a chair, dude. - It's a better one. - Yeah, it's what's going on. - Well, when you reach a certain age, you're gonna fall, and your mom fell, while we were in Phoenix, and I felt a little bad. - Why? - Because it's sad when old people fall. - It is fall. - 'Cause they-- - It is sad. - It's fall. - It's winter. - It is a fall. - No, she fell over, and I saw Jules do the movement of picking her up, so I didn't bother. - But Jules did the fake, where you're like, oh, but you didn't really, she didn't really. - No, she did. - Oh, really? - Yeah, she's a caring person. - She is? - And then my mom goes, I like her. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - We had a great time in Phoenix. We were opening for Shane Gillis, who probably once again cracked a record of ticket sales out there in Phoenix, the guy. - It was incredible. - 20,000 something like that. - Norman, you, me, McCusker. - Nate? - What a lineup. - It was an unbelievable lineup. - The Black Eye. - Nate. - Nate. - Yeah, same date. He's awesome. - When I was on stage, I was like, run-o-plus for Santino. - McCusker, Norman. - I forgot, 'cause I forgot the Black Eye. - Did you really? - Yeah, I was gonna say Black Eye, but I thought, in front of 18,000 people, I don't think. There's just so calm up there and in control. - You have to be. - Yeah, yeah. - I think if you go up there and you're showing semblance of like nerves, I was more nervous yesterday for the Special Olympics. - Oh, dude. - Bro. - Let me say something about that. What's the funny? - You're a great catcher. - You were a really good catcher. - Yeah, yeah, I'm a good catcher, dude. No, and he was throwing it back with like some heat on it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It was pretty good. - With a serious face. - No, he was genuinely in there. - Yamamoto style, dude. - Yeah. - I'm a little showhade, dude. - Well, that's two different guys, but yeah. - I know. - Is that showhade? Yamamoto? - Yeah. - It can be. - No, dude. I have those Asian baseball skills. - You really do. - Yeah, yeah. - It's in your blood. I can tell the way you set up to the ball, the way you throw. - Yeah. - I didn't want it back, 'cause I didn't want to like, bury Bill Burr. - Oh, yeah. Oh, man, Burr. - Yeah, you didn't want to say. - 'Cause Chrysher and Burr showed up. Let me, can I just say something about the Special Olympics event you did? - Yeah. - I felt, I was sitting there in the stands watching you coach them, and I was like, and then it's your event, and I was like, what a guy he is. You're a really good guy. - I just, no, you're a good person, dude. - It was fun, man. - Yeah. - I think it's a bad thing to do. - For you to take your day out like that and get everyone to go, Chris was there doing the announcing. - Nick was killing it. - He was killing it. - And I will say, and shout out to the people that showed up, and Frankie Kinyones came as Creeper. As Creeper Choloffet, were you there? - No, where was he? - Oh, bro, it was so sick. He came later, 'cause he had something to do in earlier in the day, but he-- - Oh, I missed it. - And Creeper showed up, and he was like, he was like walking up to the mountain, he's like, "Hey bro, pitch on my pitcher!" And he was throwing pitches, and he was dancing, like robot in between pitches. - Oh, dude. - There's not a nice guy. - He's one of the funiest dudes. - Frankie Kinyones is so dope, and then he went up to everybody as Creeper, and took photos, and was talking to them and stuff. - Yeah. - It was, dude, it was such a fun day. - He's a good dude. - It was a super fun day. - Yeah, but just the, you do care, and I-- - Oh yeah. - I want to get involved. - I got to do a charity. - I think we should do more. - No, I want my own charity. What do I do? - What charity would, who needs the most money? - Yeah, I just want to be able to participate here. You know what we should do? We should do Big Brother, 'cause we don't have kids, so we should adopt, you know, Big Brother, like you take them on the weekend to do cool shit. Young kids without-- - Many times. - Huh? - How many times do you do it? - It depends on the person. - Every weekend? - That's not every weekend. - Yeah. - We could do shifts. - It is a commitment for a few years. - It is? - Until they-- - Can we choose, can we choose the kid or not? - You're usually assigned. - You spin a wheel. - Really? - And then click, click, click, click, click, click, click. Oh, Puerto Rican. - Oh, that's cool. - Puerto Rico. - Yeah. - It think it's awesome. And you take them out and you kick it with them, you take them to go eat food to play video games like, dude, we are Big Kids, you and I. We're essentially just Big Kids. - We're doing Big Brother. - I think it's you. - Yeah. - Do I get a weekend alone? - You take the kid, you take the young-- - No, because I'm going to spoil the fuck out of the kid. - I know, well, no, no, they tell-- They do tell you you got to be careful with that. - Why? - They do a research on the people, you know, back on background checks and all of that. - Yeah, yeah. - You're the foreigner, who are you talking to? - Who are you talking to? - I have no criminal history. - I've had one for a long time. So we would take her, I mean, it was Big Brother's big sister, so I would do the same with girls. And we would take her to Disneyland and things like that. - Yeah, so if I took our little brother. - Our little brother. - Right, to Disneyland, the foundation would be like, nah. - No, no, no, it's all good, but they're, I think there's-- - And you can do the VIP thing that you like to do. - I'm doing the VIP. - Yeah, yeah, lightsaber's the whole thing. - I mean, light saber, you get three of them. - I do think that's the move. - Yeah. - Like, you break all those rules and give them a magical day. I think Big Brother, Big Sister's round, we should get them. - Yeah. - No, we should do it. - I got you a little gift, by the way. This is from my friends. - Okay, god. - My friends at Betonardi, the putter, guys, the putter company that I love, they made you custom chopsticks. Look at how sick that is. - Are you eating real? - Whoa. - Take 'em out, look at how sick those things are. - These are so sick, dude. - And they're like high quality. I think you like the purple, right? - I do. They're a little heavy, though. - Yeah, but heavy is good. - Yeah, heavy is good. - Smooth, baby. - They look so natural. - Are they really mine? - Yeah, they're made for you. - Okay, thank you. - Custom. - The leather, you can smell the leather. - Love the smell of leather. - Yeah, I really do. And then it says, "Be on it," is that-- - That's beef or Bobby? - No. - Yeah. - Eating real. - Yeah, that's your name. - Yeah. - Wow, thank you so much. - That's gonna be the over six months. (laughing) - At least one of the guys will take it home. - Yeah. - They'll take some of the scraps. Are you drinking coffee right now? It's 8 p.m.? - Yeah. - What's going on? Are you got a set tonight? - No. - So you want, you do, 'cause I go down to the hallway, I go down to the lobby at Phoenix to go get the car. He's already down there. He's cruising, but he's wide awake. And I was like, oh, someone's nice to me awake. He's like, I never went to bed. - Oh, I didn't sleep. I'm not kidding you, like four days in a row. I would get like a couple hours. But it's like, you're not dreaming. You're just laying there, right? And you're having horrific thoughts. - What? - Drowning, you know what, fire, all that stuff, you know what I mean? - That's not normal. - Yes, it is. - No, to have like just negative thoughts while you can't sleep. - Yeah, where I'm trapped in a mine, you know what I mean? - Tony! Tony! - And like, you know, it rubble up to my neck, right? - Tony? Tony Henshi was like, what the fuck do you want? - Yes, not that Tony, but it could be. - Death in a dream may not actually be dying. Instead, it often represents change. The closing of a chapter at the end of life is you know it. - Mm, mm, it could be. - I don't think you're even close to dying. - Yeah, yeah. - You know, I have death dreams a lot. It's not healthy. - Who dies in your dream? - I'm always close to death. I'm all usually on a plane that's crashing. - But they see that if you really die in a dream you die in real life, is that true? - I don't know. - Yeah, Google it. - You wake up. - No, no, no, no. Yeah, but you, but if you really die in a dream, that mean you die in real life, that's what I heard. - How would we know that? - You would, that's the thing. - So who would know that that's true? - What? - Die in dreams does not mean you die in real life. - It's a common myth. - It's a huge myth. - That was a movie. - Yeah, yeah. - I believe in that myth. - Dude, I'm a myth guy, dude. - You're a huge, I'm a myth guy, dude. You know what I mean? I love fables, I love myths, you know what I mean? I love stories of all kinds. Give me a fable, give me a fable. - Well long ago, idiom malo, from what? - Idiom, idiom malo. (laughing) - Idiom malo. - Yeah. - You know the story? - I've heard it, yeah, once. - He was a farm boy. - A farm, oh, was it a farm boy? - Yeah, yeah. - In a little island, indigenous island. - He was farming on an island. - Indigenous island. - So he's farming for indigenous people on an island? - He is indigenous. - So he's just getting food for himself? (laughing) - That could have said it that way. - Yeah. (laughing) - To indigenous, right? - Not indigenous, idiom malo. - Idiom. - Idiom. - Are you saying idiom malo? - No, not idiom malo, that guy's a bad guy. - What do you do? - He slaughtered people. - How many? - I don't know, millions. - Idiom malo. - Yeah, I like how you know what I mean. - What? - I didn't know that was a real person. - Yeah. - Look up idiom malo. - I thought you made up a name, I didn't go to college. - Now idiom was a, what's going on?
He wrote idiom. - Yeah, yeah. - Edi, edi, edi. - Yeah, there he is. - Look at him. - Edi, am I good. - Edi, I mean. - Yeah. - How many people do idiom, I mean kill? - Kill count is so funny to type in. - Fifth, 500, a half a million? - He's good. - Pretty good. - Not the best. - Not the best. Paul Pot was better. - Way better. - Yeah, yeah. - Paul Pot was so good. - President, while he was an eight-year ruler of the president of Uganda, he approximately killed, that's a huge gap, 100 grand to 500 grand. 400,000 people is a big gap. - But if you do it incrementally, not at one time. - Yeah, it's like, what's his name, sleeping with all those women, Will Chamberlain? - Yeah. - It's kind of like if you did it over time, we did the math, it's like seven a day. - Yeah. - Half a million people, that's crazy. - Yeah, but for what? - Power. - It's power. - That's what he was doing, he wanted power. - Yeah, yeah. - I'm so guilt-ridden, there's no I could even do one, for power. - You couldn't kill one person. - No, there's not one person you think about. - I've not done something what they did. Let's say I'm a, I'm a general of some sort of small country, somewhere far away. You're my lieutenant and you ask me, you tell me what happened and I'm gonna say I want them killed or not. - Yes, sir. - Yes. - One of our enemies. - What's your name? - Macta. - Macta, what's up, dog? - What? (laughing) - What is up? - I haven't seen you around a long time, Macta. - Macta, how's the family? - Very good, sir. - Yeah, yeah, Macta. - Yes. - I don't want that. - That's your makeup something. - Oh. - Make up. - Macta. - Macta. - Macta. - Anyway, anyway, what's the problem, Macta? - Somebody came to our barracks while we were sleeping. - Kill 'em. (laughing) Kill 'em all. His whole line, his family line. All right, uncle's ass. - He was just dropping off food. (laughing) - Door dash? - Yeah, yeah, kill 'em all. In fact, kill everyone that's doing door dash right now. Now, no, it would have to be like, they destroyed a village, right? And they, you know, for no reason. For no reason or something. - Imagine being a soldier in door dashing something while you're like waiting for war. - That'd be amazing. - And some guys, I'm rushing guys, like, door dash drops it off. He's like, "I have to get a picture of you with it." (laughing) - I don't always have to get a fucking photo. I was like, "You handed it to me." And he's like, "I need photo." The guy dropped off, last week dropped off pizza. I was like, "Thanks, Mack, as I saw him at the front gate." Thanks, man. And he's like, "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait." And I was like, "I need a picture." And I was like, "He's like a picture of delivery." I was like, "Oh, okay." So then I was like, "Well, I don't want to be in it." So I put the pizza back out and like, close the door. So it's just my hand holding the pizza for the photo. And I was like, "Good." He's like, "Okay." And I took it back inside. 'Cause I don't want to be holding the pizza for in his photo. I don't know what they do. They upload that to the app for proof that they dropped it off. And in my neighborhood now, there's fucking robots everywhere. - I love 'em. - I hate 'em. They don't go to your neighborhood. They can't get up there. - They can't get up there. - I live in the hills. - Yes, he does. - But I got a pizza from-- - The hills have slanted eyes. (laughing) - That's good. That'd be a funny movie. (laughing) That's a horror movie. The Wayans Brothers present the hills have slanted eyes. - Yeah. - I got a pizza from Prince and the dude left it on the ground. And I was playing video games. I'll get in 30 minutes. Mistake. Tell me what happened. - He got eaten by coyote. - No. - Ants. - Oh yeah, dude. - He got in there, dude. I opened it up. It was just filled with ants. Oh my God. - You waited 30 minutes? - Yeah, but there's a little table. - Did you eat it? - Outside my-- What? No. - There's a little table next to my front door that you put the shit on. - Did he just put it on the ground? - Oh yeah. - Yeah, it pissed me off. - You should say in the app, you can say please leave on table. - Yeah. - You can put it in the notes. - Yeah, I should do that. - I give him notes all the time. - What are your notes? - Don't come near my house. Drop it off on the sidewalk. (laughing) Pick up the dog shit in the yard on the road. - Yeah. - No, I give him notes if it's like, hey, I'm not, gates open. I'm not there. Just drop it off inside the gate. - Yeah. - Sometimes they, like, if they see, sometimes I'll have like a delivery and if the gate's not open, they'll just leave. - Yeah. - I've seen them just like, leave. I'm like, wait, wait, where are you going? - Yeah. - It's the weird, I'm like, just throw it over the fence or whatever it is. - Yeah, do you do priority? - Oh, I don't know, that's a scam. - What? - Dude, I'll do priority and not to test that theory out with this years ago. - Yeah. - Or not years, whatever. When it first started, we tested it. It was almost the same time. And you just pay five more bucks. It doesn't even make sense. - So they don't go to your house first? - No, they don't. They do not do that. That's a lie. 'Cause I've done both ways. - I don't know. - It's been the same. They definitely-- - You can tell if the food's warm or cold. - I feel like it's always cold. No matter what I get, it's cold. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I don't ever get a warm and you, you wait 30 minutes. It's always cold for you. - Yeah. - I don't think I've got-- - I got something today that was so fucking cold. You know what it was? - Ice cream. (laughing) - I'm on fire today. - I'm on fire today. - I settled down. - Yeah, yeah. - What kind of ice cream did you get? - I like butter pecan, rocky road, mint chip. Those are my top three. - That's top three? - Yeah. - I don't do this new shit, like, you know what I mean? Go cheese, you know what I mean? Dandelions and, you know what I mean? Bokla va Chavins. - So good. - You know how they do that? - Yes. - It's like fuck off. - So good. - No, dude. - You never had coffee toenails? (laughing) - I don't do coffee toenails. - One of my favorites. - Yeah, yeah. - You gotta get over to what is its salt and straw. They're the ones that do that. Sometimes they'll put one out, that is genuinely. It's like lavender fart and you're like, sorry? - Yeah, yeah. - And they're like, it's one of our college kids made it this morning. - Yeah, it's like, they experiment, which is fun. But. - Pair and blue cheese. I had that, it's actually fucking hot. - That's good. - The one you're talking about is black olive brittle and goat cheese. - Yeah. - Get the fuck out of here. - I'll get the fuck out of here, good. It's not ice cream. - Duck skin? - Duck skin? - Yeah. - You think that's good? - I mean, it's probably from a Chinese restaurant, for sure. - Yeah. - Creepy crawler critters. - Which is, you know, probably one of the best ice cream places on planet Earth. - It's got, there's a lot, there's a lot more. - But I'm more old school. Like, I could just do like a van Lewin guy. - No, I could just do fucking Baskin Robbins, dude. You get a banana royale. - You're out of that. - Have you had a banana royale? - There's so many good new ice cream. Like Maconalds. - Maconalds is great, Maconalds great. - Van Lewin. - Van Lewin's pretty good, yeah? - I mean, these are all better than Baskin Robbins. - Yeah, but I can still just do a banana royale. - Look at that thing. - No. - Okay. - I'm not fucking with Baskin Robbins. - Especially now, 'cause you can buy those good ones, like Jennies, you can buy them at the grocery store. - Yeah. - Why am I going to Baskin? If I can go get better shit at the grocery store for the same price now? - Because Baskins, there's more of them. Like, for instance, if you want to go to Salt and Straw, all right, there's three locations. - And there's 30 people in there. - And then there's a huge line, as if they're getting Taylor Swift tickets, you know about that. But my point is, is this, yeah, but with Baskin Robbins, there's never anyone there, you know what I mean? The worst is when there's a gigantic family. - That's their slogan. Baskin Robbins, there's never anyone here. (laughing) Come on in, there's never anyone here. There wasn't, there used to be one, on Magnolian Burbank, I used to go to, it's literally-- - So you have been. - It's empty. - You have been. - I had been. And I stopped, 'cause I was like, this is not good. And the one teenage tweaker that's working there, not it, I didn't like it. - Yeah. - He just, his vibe was weird. - Yeah, I hate those energy. - The teenage tweaker. - Those meth vibes. - His meth vibes, dude. (laughing) What do you want? (laughing) - Like, what the fuck, dude? I've just got in here. I don't know. I mean, experimenting. - That's who's there, I can't do it, dude. I'll also, by the way, they don't have 31 flavors anymore. That's also a myth. - Yeah, it's not, it's 18. Change it to 18 flavors. - They don't even, I don't think they feature 31. - They don't, they don't, they don't. Whenever in there, it's always like 10 flavors. They have 31 flavor at any, it says about 31. Yeah, bullshit. 'Cause that one that I'm talking about, they had like maybe 10 max. I give them 12 on a good day. This is quality control that's gone downhill, by the way. This is why they're getting beaten by the other big dogs. - Wait, what's the ice cream, handles? Have you been to handles? - I don't even think that's right. Handles? - Yeah. - Handles? - Yeah. - Oh, oh, handles. - That's how you send that shut up. (laughing) - It's handles? - It's Jewish, handles. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - The last name. - Yeah, handles. - Handles. - You know why I like that? - How we? - Mandel. - Oh, I see. - Handles. - Okay. - Yes, homemade ice cream since 1943. Handles ice cream. We're also a bank. - Handles is really good. - I'd like to make a deposit and also get a rocky road to go. It's a bank ice cream store. Handles ice cream. It's kosher, I imagine. - What does kosher mean? - Huh? - What does it mean? - Kosher means like the-- - It's blessed. - No, but it also means two things don't touch. Like two meat and cheeses don't touch. Right, like kosher means fit and proper refers to, according to Jewish dietary laws which dictate permissible ingredients, preparation, separation to food like meat and dairy. They cannot touch. Ensuing items are richly pure and fit for consumption, which is fucking crazy because meat and cheese is like my favorite shit on earth. - Yeah. - At the house, I'll roll up some meat on some cheese and that's a snack to go. - I love that. - One of my faves, not kosher. Oh, pig is not kosher, right.
-What else? -All scavenger, all scavenger, and predatory birds are not kosher. Like you can't have eagle. -Shouldn't. -Yeah, yeah, very good though. -It's so good. -It's so hard to catch, but you know how hard it is to get those eagles? Oh my god. -Okay, and then if something doesn't have both fins and scales, you can't be crustaceans, mollusks, walkers. -What about platypus? -There's a lot going on there. -Can't do it. -Yeah, yeah, you can't eat why. -Can't do it? -Okay, you can't eat. -Not kosher, all right. -Meet and dairy together, and then loin, sirloin, rump, flank, and heel steak. So anything behind, so they can't have the back half of the cow. They can only have chuck, rib, shoulder, and plate. -No gay stuff. -Yeah, yeah, no gay stuff. -Draft King Sportsbook. Draft King Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL makes every playoff moment feel bigger. Draft King's has your back with early exit protection. If the player in your eligible NFL prop bet goes down at any point in the first half, you still get paid in cash. -In cash, and I gotta tell you, you know who I want in the playoffs. -Who? -Your cargo bearers. -Me too, dude. -I hope we continue to roll through. Download the Draft King Sportsbook app and use code BadFriends. That's code BadFriends. To turn five bucks into 300 in bonus bets if your bet wins. In partnership with Draft King's, the crown is yours, gambling problem. Go on 800 gambler in New York, call 8778. Hope NY or text Hope NY. Connecticut, call 888-789-7777. Seven to visit ccpg.org on behalf of Boudille. Casino and Kansas, wager tax pass through may apply in Illinois. 201+ in most states, void non-terror restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive bonus bets, which expire in seven days. Minimum odds required for additional terms in responsible gaming resources. CDKNG.co/audio-aluminate-time-offer. -Bloochoo, you know, guys, I'm 54. 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And we thank Bluetooth for sponsoring the podcast. -Blooch muscles from a show. -Squeez, great song. -Such a good song. -Squeez is such a good band. -Isn't it really that? -Yeah, yeah. -It's one of those bands that's underrated. -It's so good. -People don't really know. -Oh, dude, I heard a song yesterday. I was going to text you. -Which is-- -Because I was like, "You know how sometimes you don't hear Lyric, you heard it for years." But then you don't think anything of it, and then you hear it again, and you're like, "That's what the fuck they were saying?" -Yeah. -Like, you know what they're saying. But it's a song where he says-- he says-- and-- -I've never seen you do that before. That was scary. Something happened. -No, but you know it's like a-- -But get behind the wheel-- -It's a fuck who does that? -Dude. -Oh, dude. -It's like a chess master would do that if they lost. -It's like a figure going out. -They go check them out, and you're like-- -I can't think of the name of the song. I was thinking of two, and it goes, "Get behind the wheel of a thing." It's like after you're drinking. You're talking about drinking, and then after you get behind the wheel, and crash into a fucking something. And it's just-- And that's not what the song is about. -Yeah. -I'm so bummed that I can't think of that. -You know what song that you got me stuck on? And I fucking mad that you influenced me in this way. -What? -Oh. -Let's-- Black Eyed Peas, let's get it started. -I know. -Oh. -Guess what it is. Guess what it is. -What song do I get you stuck on? Ooh, I'm thinking what I just recently gave you. -I'll give you the gist of it. -Yeah. -What? -That's not it. -That Bill Nye's song is so good. Wait, play this real fast. This makes me laugh. -Beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer. -Pause it. They can't say Bill, so they say, "Beer, beer, beer, beer." It's the funniest G-I-Shing Kong-Ching Chow. The Chinese, they're so fucking fun. -They're so great. -Look, you guys are great filmmakers, but you don't do fun shit like that. -Yeah. -That's fun. -Yeah. -G-I-Shing Kong-Ching Chow. -Beer, beer. -When you see you guys, what the fuck do you mean, dude? -Kareens, you fuckhead. Korea, I just said you guys make great film, but you don't do goofballs. -I can say Beer. -Beer, beer, beer. -But this is what the Japanese and the Chinese do the best. -I'll tell you the song. -Weird of stuff. Oh, give me a hint. -All right. It's about a guy who's in a different country and he needs something from his dad. He's in trouble. -Lawyer's guns and money. -Yep. -Yep. -Yeah. -Every day, I listen to that song. -It's such a good song. -That song warns Ivan. Lawyer's guns and money. I listen to it every day because of you. -San Lawyer's guns and money. This shit has hit the fan. -Yeah, another one is the world of song I liked it. -Oh, where I was alone? -Yeah, yeah, of course. -Oh, that kind of sounds like your stuff. -Beer, beer, beer, beer, beer. -Moron's Yvonne, that album will get you, it's not relatable, boy. Why can't I think of an excitable boy? -Excited, sorry. -Oh, so good. -What a talent. It's funny. It's like you discover things like, yeah, I'm a music guy. -Yeah. -But I never was introduced to him until I met you. -It's so funny. -This is exactly something you would love. -I can't believe it. When I listen to it now, I'm like, it's so interesting because maybe another band that was like that with me is Joy Division. -Oh, I love Joy Division. -Yeah. I saw, I didn't like Joy Division until I saw 24-hour party people. You ever see that movie? It's about the Manchester music scene. And Joy Division's in it. There's like a club scene where Joy Division is playing and you're going, what is this? -And they're playing in the movie as themselves. -No, they're not in the movie. There's actors. You're playing Joy Division. And the guy does such a good job at Patreine, Ian McKay. -Eating Curtis, eating Ian Curtis. And I'm like, holy shit, who is this? And then I googled it. It was like, oh, fuck, it's Joy Division. And then I just got, it became obsessed. But it just never was something that when I initially heard it, you know, it didn't land. -It didn't land with me. -Steve Cougan is so talented. -He's so talented. -One of the funniest, smartest dudes I think. It's so funny how like American culture doesn't really know Steve Cougan. -Yeah. -I would, you'd argue most Americans don't know who that is, right? -Damien Cockburn. -Yeah, Mr. Cockburn. -You see these? -The trips are great. That's why Americans might know them because of the trips. But I just think they're so popular in England and not as much here. -Yeah. -But those movies are so good. The original trip is the best. -What is it? -It's just like, it's them too. It's literally like a kind of like a loose, it's like a loose concept film about these two. It feels docky style, but it's not. But it is. -Heighten versions of themselves. They're in Hollywood still. -It's them, but it's not. -Mm. -It's very brilliant. And it's just two best friends on vacation, then they just get themselves into some bullshit. -Other movies. -Yeah. -There's a series. -Are they good? -They're fantastic. -They're funny. -We should do that. -Yeah. -We should do that. -We should do our version of the trip. -Yeah. -I went to a Christmas party last night. -Who? -Arden Morin. -Oh, I know. You told me this. -Yeah. -But it was her and Bert. -Bert was there, yeah. It was her party, but Bert was there. -At her house? -At her house. And I ran into one of my favorite people of all time. -Oh, wait, hold on, hold on, hold on, let me guess. -MH is his initials. -Kevin Spacey. -MH, man. -There's a lot of young boys here. -Michael Hitchcock. -I don't know who that is. -You ever see Best in Show? -Love Best in Show. -Oh, yeah, he's great. -Yeah. -Hitchy was there. -So, he was there at Arden's house? -How was the party? -I was there for five minutes. -So, it was a good party. -I do like a five minute. Whenever she has a party, I do five minutes. I'll do around. -Hug and then leave. -Why? Why go then? -Because I'm a loner. -Yeah. -And I don't leave the house. -Yeah. -So, my therapist is like, you gotta just try to participate. So, I try to participate. -Yeah, but I see I disagree. You're 54 years old. At this point, don't do anything. -I know, but if you look at my mom, that's where I'm headed. -She looks great. -I know, she looks great. But she doesn't like leaving the house. And she only plays iPad games. -What's wrong with that? -There's nothing wrong with it. But it's like, you know, I want to be able to, you know, how do you, you gotta be social. That's a part of the human condition. -No. -It's not? -No, you already did it. -Oh, I did it. -For 54 years, you've did it. You paid all your dues. You don't own anybody's shit. You can go or don't go. -Yeah, I'm just, I think I'm like my mom. -It's great. -Yeah. -She looks happy and healthy. But by the way, she got frustrated because she logged out of YouTube. That was like a huge debacle. -She's like YouTube. YouTube. -Yeah. -And you're like, "Mom, we'll do it." And she's like now you're like we're doing the podcast. That's another thing that I have
I want it now if you want to do to know that is I want mine that's exactly how you are Yeah, yeah, yeah, do it now. It's funny. You want it right now. I want it right now Yeah, yeah, yeah, but but you're not a guy that if you say you're gonna do it doesn't mean you're going to do it now What do you mean you want things done right now? Yeah, but if you say you're gonna do something doesn't mean you you're gonna Oh, I don't do it now, right? Yeah, yeah, you have to do it. Yeah, yeah, I do it when I want to do it Yeah, yeah, I'm that guy I make up my mind and I'm gonna do something. I just do it Yeah, even if it's like even it's it's chunking time out of something else Yeah, if I really want to do it, I'm gonna do it. I don't give a shit. I was like that with tennis rackets and ice skates What not enough what not enough no the other day. I was like I need tennis rack as I want to did it I woke up and what I'm getting tennis racks see I like that. Yeah, yeah, I like I want ice skates. I'm gonna ask it Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna just stay in my closet But you got them. I got them just in case we need an escape. Yeah, because I've had a lot of people go You want to play tennis? I got I got to get rackets so Kirk you other people just people just random people You want to play tennis? I don't get tennis with you, but you don't because I didn't have any rackets now I have now you got how many rackets just two prints red ones two print so you bought two rackets even though you need one I always have two over prepared. No in case you break one. I hit so hard Dude, I was on the tennis team in high school. I told you that I got those red ones right there. Tell me your your what was the food at Arden's house Tacos a taco truck. No, just tacos in the house. Who's got who made tacos in the house? So I was who they're with Andrea Jen she came to yeah, and she started in the tacos and I you never I don't know about you. You probably do it You know here here's what I like about your parties versus other parties sure, okay? So at your parties you have a dude making it Yeah, yeah, yeah, like I've been to Carlos Mincee's house at first parties. He has a guy. You pay for someone to make you yeah, so he's Then you can enjoy the party Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever the G. I should push each Yeah, beer beer beer right right so but then you go to some houses and They're it's just there sitting in a Sillin like it was ordered or they made it early. I don't know how it came about I don't know how it manifests itself. You don't like it either way, you know, I but I need to see it Made uh-huh on the spot. I understand what you're saying so if it's sitting there. Who knows it could have been there yesterday They had do you know you had two party you got day two party. Yeah, so then on Andrea took a Taco and I was like I wouldn't eat that she was like you're weird and Then 30 minutes later she goes my tummy hurts see yeah see that's where you see the guy make it Well, that's like when we went to Tim's to when Tim had his house here and he had when Dylan had his Christmas parties Mm-hmm. He would literally have a staff of 10 people cooking. Yeah, he had someone fucking he had just a baker to make desserts Yeah, he hired someone to bake Just as a pastry chef is I'm dumb. I can't say a pastry chef just for the desserts and then four chefs Yep regular chefs Yeah, and they were doing the yes chef I heard the sous chef being like do you know something like yes chef right here chef. Yeah, I was like this is a kitchen He's he brought the bear to his fucking house. Yeah, you know what also I like he's extravagant dude He's an extravagant guy. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I also like places what it looks like a lab at a restaurant for instance You had ding typhong Right and there's a gigantic open window and you see they're all white with masks Yeah, and they're folding the dumplings. Oh, I love it Piquito Moss. You see them making the tortillas home state They make them they make them there and they make it right in front of you, right? So that I like that right there. Yeah No, that's a lab. That's the Wuhan lab Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's the one that bring up the Wuhan lab No, they're making dumplings and covid That's where they put it. They're Asians. They have work out that right they can do two things at once One guy fucks up. He's like, oh, I was supposed to make covid today Yeah, waste it all of his time making dumplings, but don't you do you feel you like ding typhong? Here's what I like about this. Yeah, I can see them putting in the work That's right like did you see that video the guy that restaurant here in Southern California? They got in trouble. They got closed down because he was breaking up frozen ribs in the back of the restaurant I saw that I saw that I saw that on the ground on the ground. That's so gross. Have you seen that it was a big frozen slab of ribs and he's Let me get on the ground Dude, it was one of the funniest things that I've ever seen and then then the yeah, that's him out back Look at that play that video. He's behind the restaurant and he's just throwing the ribs on the ground This is someone like from their apartment Look at this. Hey Just trying to break him up a little bit Whoa on a box. Yeah, but the cardboard down look at it falls on the ground three or four times. Yeah, throw it They just fall on the ground. Look at that gross Now here's my argument for this guy. You're defending him for a second. Okay. Well, yeah Of course, he's not Asian. Yes, he is. No, he's not the way he's throwing his abs, which pause When it zooms in you zoom in no let them do it here. She'll zoom in a little bit there That's a hundred percent in Asian guy. I guess so there's there's literally no doubt in my mind the way he throws his Asian Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, how do Asians throw? Oh, you can hear it. No, but listen here full of who's called full love And let me tell you why I'm defending him for a heartbeat permanently closed that sucks. Here's my only semi-defense. They're frozen Nothing is sticking to frozen No, you could literally dip that in trash take it out blow it off. It's nothing. It's frozen. It's solid Then when you cook it, you're cooking away. Whatever would be you can also wash it 100% it's frozen. I think you're right. It's frozen. Yeah. And by the way, I don't think the optics is good. No No, it's bad. Also, how much how much other shit do they do that with right like and like and look at There's a mop bucket right next to him. It's fucking gross. Yeah, but this is the thing as Americans were spoiled Ron This happens all over the fucking world and they don't think twice. I think you're right I think the reason why I like the lab at atmosphere right is you're you have assurance You're a shirt. Yeah, I mean you look in dink typhong and you're like, okay, there. He's not throwing that dumpling on the ground Right and then some places when you don't you don't know what goes like I believe that like I think that like if you go to talk about something They spit in the fucking stuff. I don't believe that you don't know. I don't think so because I worked at McDonald's I worked at fast food. Yeah, we never did that. Yeah, you cuz you're a good guy. No, no, but I didn't eat okay I there was some other friends of mine that were there that were fucking up to no goodies. Yeah, they never did shit like that You know what you would do instead what because if you got caught doing that, dude That's also against the law you can you could go to jail for that right you spitting in someone food That's a no easier to spit without anyone seeing it's a biohazard though Okay, that's bad. No guys would do shit like that. They would fuck up their order on purpose. Oh That happens all the time. Yeah, they'd like fuck this asshole. Yeah, so they'd give them like one less and I'll get yeah That's like such a good because by the way you get the bag and most of us you go for fries on the ride home Unless you're really hungry, you're probably not gonna eat the nuggets until you get home and you open it up and see five instead of six Pissed it's a perfect. You're mad about that. I'd be fucking pissed. I want six if I order six. I want six What if they're suffering? Are you extra happy? That's amazing Are you not extra happy when an extra nugget falls in there? You know what I don't like hmm when a random thing That's in the nugget box like one fry. I love that. No, I don't like that I don't give me a row gun in ring all day. I don't want a row one. Love it. No, what is he doing in there? He's on an adventure. Yeah, yeah to what no I got free. I'm like stay with your kind All right, oh, whoa on your rings just hang out with onion rings all right, if you come over to you know me in french fry land, right? I'm calling ice Big second that's we should open up a fast food place called segregation. Yeah, separate separate buddy equal. Yeah, yeah, but they're not so you like that Yeah on your rings belong with on your rings. All right. What about this? You think I'm gonna let my onion ring that your french fry ass daughter Yeah, bull shit ass french fry ass daughter. What if you open your a nugget box and there's something in there that's not even on the menu What is it? What is it like like like a duck like a duck? Oh my god. How good? No, but you're a taco pal I know it's a new menu. I know okay. No, no something that's that why would it be there like an egg roll? Yeah, like an egg roll Yeah, you're at you're at you go to McDonald's fries. You open it and there's an egg roll in there bonus bonus egg roll We're to come from who cares isn't the same thing as you're talking about like I'm going for a ride. Yeah Imagine that adventure I went from Panda Express All right, I took a door that's right who fucking McDonald's okay. I hop out I Jump into the this does happen because they have KFC Taco Bell combo places now that I can see okay So that does happen. Okay, and I'd be okay with that I don't hit to ride don't we work different in that way I understand Okay, yeah, if it's fast food and it's fried who cares how it got in there. I'll take it yeah We used to fuck with people in that right, but we'd steal from that McDonald's. That's why my buddy's got fired Yeah, my buddy Chris Because of our friends came we'd give them as much stuff as we could yeah, it was hard to steal money You could we'd steal food, but sometimes you steal money sometimes you wouldn't put in a late order If it was super late in there in the window you wouldn't punch it in You'd be like yeah, yeah, I'll do it and then you'd make up the number of what you think you'd be like 475 and then you would just go get the item and not ring it up They should do that at a comedy club. I know Seriously, where they had an old system and then oh the way to just you they could like Chart somebody and then void it easily. Oh the void. Yeah, yeah, and then just take all the cash See the voting is tough because it still shows up in the systems. Yeah, I've worked in restaurants I know how that goes. Yeah, well yeah because you get the manager But can you avoid that drink out that no one wanted it, but then you give your buddy that drink okay I've done that, but they're still traceable with McDonald's you would take the order but not take it down Just go back to the kitchen and be like can I get a double?
- No, no, no, no, no. - And then they'll, you know, they slide you that double quarter pounder. - So the matter, they don't count the patties. What I mean by that is. - It's a box of, you should see McDonald's gets a box of like 700 frozen patties. - Yeah, but if I was, I'm Asian. - One, two. - Yeah, I'm counting. (laughs) - I'm counting. - Yeah, I shin ko chin chao. Bihu, bihu, bihu, bihu. (laughs) I'm gonna do it all day. (upbeat music) - Kachava. - Kachava. - You know, sometimes whenever I want a meal, right? And I want all the nutrients that I need, right? I go to Kachava. - Yeah, you do. - No, not only is it good for you, right? The flavors are delisioso. - They very much are. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - They're very, very good. And they have a whole wide variety, including chocolate vanilla, chai, matcha, coconut, asai, stora, berry. This is your favorite, by the way. Little chocolate mint. - I love it. - This is one of your favorites. - I love it. Strawberry is good too. 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Fries, a nugget, patty, this happens. - Because when people are moving-- - You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right. Shit's built. - I'm dank-corrected. - You know my favorite shit was, when we'd have to replace the Coke bag, so 'cause McDonald's has the perfect mixture of Coca-Cola. That's why it's the best Coca-Cola in the fucking world, other than Mexican Coke in a bottle, but to go Coke is McDonald's, because their syrup mixture is perfectly measured, but it's so dense and sweet, that you like, hook up the syrup bag, and it's got the carbonation in the soda water. Sometimes it would leak out of the top, like the plastic top, and I suck on it. - I know that. - Oh my God, it's so good, dude. - I like that. - That's it. You can feel your teeth falling out. (laughing) - Yeah, yeah. - It's gotta be like 1,000 grams of sugar per like, because it's condensed. - Yeah. - It's so fucked, those are so good, dude. And the smell of those, when you crack it open. (sniffing) Now I have these, dude, I loved working in McDonald's. It was fucking the best first job I ever had. I was 15, it was awesome. And I fed all my friends, I got paid good money. - Yeah. - Like I paid like a minimum wage, but it was like good, when you could still fucking like, yeah, look at that, smoking a joint in McDonald's Coke. Hey, yo. - Did they drug test their? - No. - I mean, this was a long time ago, they might now. I don't think they, no, they didn't drug test us, 'cause everyone was, there was on drugs. - Now would you feel safer when Android's take over, like robot, like if like, 'cause when you go to McDonald's, eventually it's gonna be no humans working there. - That's fucking a bummer. Well, even now, I went to McDonald's, where were we? And you have to order through the fucking, - Do you guys see the Tesla, the Tesla diner in Hollywood? I'll, I'll robotize. - Let's burn it. Let's go burn it down. Is it just made out of cyber trucks? - That's it, fuck that place. Fuck him, fuck that whole place, stupid. - Well, that's the future guy. - No, no, there will still be a need for human. I don't know. - No, we will, we'll want that. - Look at that influencer. - Hey guys, I'm here with my tits in this robot. - Yeah, oh my god. - He's making me pop corn. - The career daily. - Of course, so funny. - It's so funny about that. - We, we, we, we, we made it all the way there in their news. It's pretty cool. - We go deep. Do you really think that that's good? That's, I think that people are still gonna want people to burn a thing. - I don't know. I like, I like the niche, niche of it. - The niche of the future? - Yeah. - Well, it's gonna be everywhere. So the niche would be humans making food still. - But right now, when I see a wigovie, I get excited. Then eventually you get excited. - Way more, way more. - Way more suck. - Dude, they're the best. - They stopped and it's stopped in front of us in the hotel. Remember that and it couldn't get by us. - I know. - Them pics are better. - Way more suck. You don't like that shit, fuck that. - I love it. - No, remember what the guy said to us in the car when he was like, Waymos are bullshit because what if you get into an accident, something happens? Did the doors lock? You know, you can't get out of those things until you're at your destination. You couldn't just get out if you needed to in an emergency. - Like poo. - Anything, you'd have to poo in the Waymo. - Oh my God. - Waymo, with toilet. - Wow. - Come on up to the front, if you have to shit. - But it doesn't blow your mind when you see a way, but like, it pisses me off. - It's too slow, Bob. - They suck. - I know, but it's just being back. It's just so weird when you look at the fucking driver's seat. There's no one in there. - Okay, let me get for someone like you. I'm gonna prove why you don't need what you don't want Waymo. In the future, if it's all Waymos, and they're all self-driving and no one gets to drive, then everything is going to be on time. And you like that things aren't on time. You enjoy the fact that there's leeway in there's wiggle room. I like that about you. - Screw we govie. - I like human error too. - Human error. - Yeah. - Human error. - That's what magic happens. - The ribs on the ground. - Right, that's where the magic happens, yeah. - That store's closed down permanently. Full love. - There's a nail in my bread stick. I love that. - It's fun story. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. You eat it anyway. - Think about that. The news is not gonna have anything to talk about if everything is automated. How boring. How boring. There is no chaos anymore. - I want the chaos. - We love chaos and our key, bro. That we need fucked up stories. We need wild shit to go down. - That's why if you married an android, there's no human error there. - No, there's no excitement. - It does anything you needed to do. - Exactly. - There's no fights, no arguments. - You want some art. You need some combatant. We love drama. Think about a TV. - I want to watch Pride and Prejudice tonight. - Right. - You know, that argument. - No, come on, let's watch Casino. - No, the last night was your movie night. - Right. - Tonight Pride and Prejudice. - I hate Pride and Prejudice. - Did you watch it? - Pride and Prejudice? - Yeah. - I've seen it years ago. - It's so crazy because every girl that I know, like gets angry that I haven't seen it. - You haven't seen Pride and Prejudice? - I don't even know what it is. - There's a million versions, too. - Yeah, yeah. But they go, "You haven't seen it, some masterpiece." - And I'm like, "You just said that about the notebook." - Oh, that was. - You think it's a masterpiece? - Can I tell you something? - What? - Never saw it. - See, that's what I'm saying. - I never saw the notebook. - Yeah. - There's films that I know. You know what's funny? Like, I never saw a broke back mountain, but I got the gist. (laughing) So I never saw it. There's movies that I just never saw. - I got the gist, too. - I got the gist, yeah. - I got the gist. - Yeah, you know what kind of be honest with you? - It's funny, I didn't see broke back mountain, but I did see moon light. - I love moon light. - It's just black, it's just black broke back mountain. - Yeah, yeah. - Black back mountain? - Yeah. - Broke black mountain? - Yeah. - I've never seen broke back mountain, either. - It's just I'm not interested in seeing it. - I wanna see it though, 'cause I heard it's really good. - I should all go see it. - Doubt it. - You've seen it? - No. - It's amazing. - What, wait, why haven't you seen it? - Just one of those. - I didn't, I didn't even see the second kill bill told today. - Yeah. - These guys watched the kill bill without us today. - You know what movie I'm trying to watch right now? It's hard to get through. I don't know why, Barry Lyndon. - Oh, it's so good. - I know it's beautifully shot, but I can't get into it. - Look at a Chinese, look at it. You're worrying about cowboy hat, anyway. - I like Chinese cowboys. - What? - When have you seen them? - There's so many Chinese cowboys. You don't know that? There's a documentary about Chinese cowboys. - In China? - Look, there's an untold America about Chinese cowboys. You've never seen this? - No. - It's amazing. - Look, go to the historical photo. - Zoom in. Look at that. - Get the up, doggy.
(laughing) - He oh. - He's doing white eyes, like you. - Yeah, he is doing white eyes on the right. - Yeah. - Right to them, a cowboy. - No, he just got an order he didn't want to do. (laughing) - Amen, you're gonna take that piece of dynamite going on that hole and line it up. - What? (laughing) - Wait, look at that. - Look at that. - That's Shen Yun. - Yeah. - That's just Shen Yun backstage. - Is that in America? - Yeah. - What? - It's in 1888. - Wow, there are Asians back then. - The good old days. - Yeah, but I'm sure they were like. - I want to go back home. - Now this is your home now, pal. - But do you think they were-- - One day-- - They were back then. - And one day your great, great, grandson's gonna open up a Thai food joint, San Jose and it will get closed down 'cause of health code violations. - You know how I know it was bad for them? When you watch Tombstone, Deadwood, any of those things, there's only one guy. - If that-- - If that. - One's enough, you know what I mean? But so where are the other people? - I don't know, I don't know. - Yeah. - You got one, I watched Goonies again, you know? I watched Goonies on the plane the other day. - It's a good movie. - It's a flawless movie. - Yeah, it's perfect. - It's exactly what a movie should be. It's an adventure, I watched back-to-back with Sandlot. I went Sandlot Goonies and I was like, this is perfect. These are just kids going on an adventure. That was movies at that era was just like, put them in a weird situation, have them go on a whimsical adventure, you go along to the ride whether or not it's realistic, it doesn't matter. And a lovely-- - I can't watch Sandlot. - Why? - Because my ex-girlfriend is married to the star of Sandlot, I think about her. - The stars of vague, that's a vague term because there's a lot of stars in that. - Okay, the other guy, the Chubby guy. - The red headed guy? - Yeah. - Really? - Yeah. - Let's show us the back. - Of what's it in Porter? What's wrong with me? - Yeah. - Him, Porter, yeah. - Yeah, Hamilton Porter. - Yeah, Patrick. - Pat, Pat, Rennah. - Yeah, go to Pat Rennah, right? - Do you know what it bonds me out? And nothing against him, I'm sure he's a great guy, okay? - Yeah. - That's hot. - Yeah. - Money. - Who is that? - Jasmine, my ex-girlfriend. - How long ago? - Many, many years ago. And when she, I was the, she was the next guy she dated. And in my head, I was like, "Oh, I'm him." (laughs) You know what I mean? I'm like the Asian version of him. - You think so? - Yeah, I think I am. - He's got that Sandlot money. - I know. - Well, I thought you meant you were him for a second about, about like, is there a movie? Is it Ryan Reynolds or someone like he's the guy that the girl, after the girl sleeps with him, they get married and settle down? What's that move? - It's with Dane Cook. - Oh, right. - Yeah. - Yeah, it is Dane Cook. The lat, what is it called? - She's very pretty, huh, Jasmine? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Look at their family, look at the family. - That could have been you. - I know. - So many, so many of my ex-girlfriends have kids now and they're happy. (laughing) - They're just super happy. - You prepared them for happiness, which is good. - Oh, you think, you think I was there like the dark, I can't even speak English. (laughing) The dark chapter? - No, the preparing for happiness. - It's a dark chapter. - Is that was it my best friend's girl? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - So he would hire him to try to bone her in order for her to fall back in love with him? - Yeah, 'cause, yeah. - Twisted. That was, Dane was on fire back then. That's what he did. - I love it. - He was starring in movies, man. It's crazy, it's awesome. - Love him. - Anyway. - Yeah, look, she's happy, you're happy. - I don't know, sometimes, like, what do you want? You want a family? Do you really want a family? - No, he doesn't. - Yes, I do. - Yeah, he might. - You would have had one already. - He can still have one. - I think I regret some things. - You got plenty of time. - Like the airport, I was at the airport LAX and I would tell you the story. Was it LAX? - You read another note? - You read another note to a girl? - No, no, no. - Did you hop off the planet LAX with the dream in a cardigan? - No, no. - What? - Sorry. - Yeah, I was a caggot. I'd just done a weekend at some club. And I was at LAX and I was tired and haggard. And I have, like, my backpack, I'm walking through LAX. In the distance, I see this beautiful girl with a young husband and their kid. And they're just laughing. And I realize it's my ex-girlfriend. And I run into them. And she was like, "Oh, and we hug." - Which one? Not that one. - Not that one, no, it's a different one. See, that's what I'm saying. I keep running into happiness. - And how did the conversation go? - I go, "Oh my God, we hug, I meet the kid, you know what I mean?" And the dude, "What's up, dude, what's up, man?" "What's up, home, what's up, home, what's up, home, me?" - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - A black guy? - No, it's a white guy, but it's like, white guys can do this too. - I know, but you're doing the homey thing. You keep going to home. What's up, homey? We're involved in that. - Yeah, we're solved up, and I do, what's up, right? - You said what's up to the boyfriend? - Yeah, and then they go, "Well, see you later." And then they leave and I go, "Oh, you know, what did I do?" - What did you want? Were you in love with that person? - I think honestly, I think there are some relationships, and maybe I should have hung in there. - Yep. - Don't you think? - Don't say fucking "yup." You know, I believe that. - I think I should have hung in there. Because in rough patches, right? They go, "Made it, made it, I gotta get out," right? But that's the nature of relationships. You're gonna have rough patches. - So of course. - Yeah, and it's like the next time, maybe stick in the rough patch, you know what I mean? And then you get out of it, instead of like pulling the emergency cord. - But sometimes it's for the better. - But I don't think so. - I think every relationship I've been in it I should have just stayed in it. - That's interesting. - Yeah. - The butterfly effect. I mean, you could go back in time. - Yeah, because it's like, if I look back, they were attractive, good people, empathy, all the things. And then you see them happy. But then they would have been miserable with me. - Then how do you know that? - I'm a fucking, I'm a creature of the night, dude. - Yeah. Five in the morning playing Ghost of Yo-Tie. What are you doing? The sun is up. Shut up! All right, I still have to level up. At 54, I'm like that. - So that's what you mean? - I gotta level up. - But that's who you are, who cares? - You need to find that special gem. - I need another girl like, I'm leveling up too! - Exactly. - You need a leveler. - Yeah, yeah. We're playing two games at one time, maybe that. - There's gotta be a girl like this that exists. - Yeah. - A girl that's obsessed with those kind of things that her loves are independent. - But then we would get nothing done. What do you need to get done? - Make bread, you know? - Your big bread guy now? - Well, love, you know that show. - Break off. - Break off. - No, but you know what I'm saying? I don't think you would want somebody exactly like you. - That's insane. - You'd want someone that has similar interests. - Yeah. - That's what you're saying. - I don't know, because I remember with Clilett's like, you know what I mean, we're gonna do this thing. And normally I wouldn't do it, but when I do it, then you're like, oh, I'm glad I did it. If I'm with somebody that's like me, we would never do anything. You just be sitting there. - Kind of perfect. - No, I need someone to like lead me into life. - Are you with a celebrity? - What? - Only person you would like respect. - Maybe you with someone. - No, and I respect common people. I'd even say that. (laughing) - That's so good. - It's like that song from Paul, Common People. - Okay. - It's one of my favorite songs. - We call them civilians. - Call them civilians? - Well, they're civilians because we're like, we're weirdos or clowns. And those are civilians, those are adult humans. And we're different. We're goofball fuckheads. - Yeah. - We're children and we're clowns. - You know what I thought about the other day after doing last night, after doing Friday night, after doing that big show with Shane. - Mm-hmm. - And you do this huge show. And then you just end up in a hotel room by yourself. - Mm-hmm. - Make it after a shower on a chair. Hunched over, right? (laughing) Lillity hunched over and just like. - What the fuck? - You could've got you there. - Alone. - Yeah. - I think it's that you think that's gonna make you happy, but you've been spending-- - It doesn't. - Yeah, I know and you know that already. You're just experiencing it. - Every time I get reminded. - Yeah, but that stuff doesn't make anyone happy. - I know exactly. - No, you're happy because you did it, but everyone does have that moment at the end of the night of anything that you do or are. People that could home from a long day at work, whether they like their job or not, everyone has a reflective moment in the shower on the shitter just being like, mm-hmm. - Yeah. - Because that happened, that's human nature. - Yeah. - It's just that's the feeling of everything. It's like when you buy something you've always wanted then you get it and you don't even fucking give a shit. That's everything. That's everything. So, if you can't be happy now, you're never gonna be happy then. - Yeah, I'm trying to find it, yeah. - Although I did hear that quote today on "Fucking Tiktok", it bothered me so much Warren Buffett was doing a speech and he's like, if you're not happy with $50,000 or $100,000, you're not gonna be happy with $100,000. It's not gonna make a difference. It's like, oh my God. - Oh, you're worth a touch. - Billions of dollars, you fucking idiot. - Yeah, yeah. - What are you talking about? And then he does kind of back it up by saying like, oh yeah, and then there's a threshold of money that makes people, gives people comfort and everything. But like he's trying to do this, whenever somebody like that, like an Elon Musk or like a Zuckerberg does that thing where they're like, I'm out of touch. - You're not gonna make you happy, man. And I gotta tell you, you just gotta find it now. All right, later, it takes off in a fucking jet pack. - Yeah, yeah. - And you're like, what are you talking about? - Yeah, I had a driver there a day and it made me really like, reflect. And I go, you know, I talked to the all-derived person. You love talking to the drivers. - Yeah, and then what's up? What's up, dude, you know, you talk. I was getting into his life, he's like, and we got into his life, he's married two kids. And then I go, you happy? He goes, well, let me, when I go home after this shift, I'm gonna sit in my driveway for an hour and just.
Look at TikTok before I go inside the house. - Yeah. - And I go, "Why?" He goes, "I just don't want to be there." - Oh, shit. - You're mean. I thought he wanted some like, self-taught. He goes, "Because when I go in there, I'm just so unhappy." - Oh, shit. - And he goes, "I'm only with my wife because we have two young daughters, and I'm going to stay together for them." - And Drace was your driver? (laughing) And I was like, "Dude, just figure that out." That sounds like a nightmare, he goes, "No." - Well, 'cause what is he gonna do? - Break up a family and other people. - And that's what I'm saying, but I don't want that. I think that's what I'm looking for something perfect because I don't want that. I don't want to, you know what I mean. - But perfect doesn't exist. - But to be dreadful going home-- - But I don't think that's gonna happen to you either. I think that guy made his real-- - Doesn't that sound like a nightmare? - He don't know what else is going on in his life. - No, I got into it, he goes, "What happened?" He goes, "My wife doesn't want to compromise. She, it's her road or the high road," you know what I mean? And what? Why are you laughing? - That's the saying, you got it right. I was just-- - Why'd you laugh at it because they don't get it wrong? - You said it a little funny, that's all. - How do you say it? - My way or the highway? - Is my highway or the highway? (laughing) And he was like saying like, "I can't, you know what I mean? Do what I want to do, it's always her way." - Did he say what he wanted to do? - Oh, you mean just in general? - In general, like it's like, you know what I mean? As soon as he get in the house, he's like, "Do this, do that, do this," you know what I mean? And also he said that I haven't had sex but there are 90 days or 100 days. Does anyone have sex? - Is it like a cleanse or something? - No, no, she just doesn't want to do it. So my point is, is that it's just he's trapped. And I don't want to be in a prison. - You don't want to be trapped in a loveless marriage. - Or a loveless relationship, you know? I want to be free, you know? - Right, right. That's what I'm saying, then don't ever, you don't need to. - But I believe that there is got to be somebody out there that has that. - No, I understand about compromise. - Yeah, you got to compromise. - I understand about that, but to feel trapped is a different thing. - Yeah, that guy was a bad example of what, that's not gonna happen, that's not you. That's that man's plight. That won't be you. - 'Cause I like going on adventures as well. - You're an adventurous man? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I don't think that's gonna be you, you know? - But you can see the fear. - I think it's a real, I think it's a real emotion. It's a true feeling to have, to be, you don't want to be with someone that you no longer are interested in. - Yeah. - But that's not happening. - Last night I was at Ding Tai Phong. Not Ding Tai Phong, I was at Sunundang, which is a restaurant. - It's another three, three. - Yeah, yeah, it's a green restaurant. - It was at Ping Pong Gang. - And I was with Andrea Jin and my friend Andy, and we see this couple, and you can see the guy, and we were talking about him. He was just like, and she's like doing all the talking, you know what I mean? It was like there was some, like, a confrontation going on. We don't know. - Couldn't hear it, yeah. - But you could just see how he's just so sad, you know? And I go, I know what that is, and I don't want that. - What was it? - Just trapped and bummed, and like, you know what I mean? Like, I can't get out of the situation kind of, you know what I mean? And I don't want that. I think that's the worst thing, you know? It's also, like, sometimes relationships you, they turn into your mother, because I do have child-like behavior, so women want to mother me. Like, do this, do that, because you're not acting normal, but I want somebody that's except the fact that I'm just the way I am, because I'm not going to really change that much. I'll provide, I'm fun, that, that, that, that, you know what I mean? But it's, what's so funny? - That, that, that, that, that's how you're dating to a file. - I'll provide, I'm fun, da da da da da, you know what I mean? - Yeah, da da da da da, yeah. - Da da da da da, it's the motherfucking body elite. (laughing) - Yeah, but, you know. - I think, I think, 'cause when I see you and your wife, I don't feel that, I feel like, you know, she's just so cool. - It's my homie. - Yeah, and so you're lucky. - But we all have bullshit. We have bullshit, fancy and his wife have bullshit. There's just stuff that happens, and you gotta wiggle your way through it. Now, if I had that guy's fucking thing, the driver's, like I sit in my car, 'cause I don't wanna go inside, I'm out of that relationship. That's crazy. That guy. - But you gotta understand, I'm stuck. I have kids, you know what I mean? - No, there's a way out of everything. - You think so? - 100%, that guy shouldn't be in that. Also, that's worse for the kids, because he's probably not present. He's probably, they're probably like, daddy, and he's like, you know what the fuck out of my face? - Yeah. - Get away from me. I don't like you. But I see signs off front. I went on a date, and she goes, I don't think I can believe this. She gets in my car, and she goes, don't drive yet. I go, why? She goes, I wanna connect my phone into your Bluetooth, so we can play my music. - Oh God, immediately stopping. - Well, that's the first thing she said. - Okay, but you could go along and go, okay, maybe I wanna hear your tunes. Maybe she wanna share tunes with me. - You know what, sideburns are shaved? - No. She grabbed my cigarette, this is not gonna do. My sideburns. - This girl made you shave those? - No, just a couple days later, I looked in the mirror, and go, maybe she's right, maybe it's a prison. - Let me see. - No, I just shaved them. - But what? - They were gr, you know, they were long and grisly. Some of the white hair. - I love it. - I know you do, but she did that, and I was like, oh, I can't do this, because that's the beginning. - Yeah. - That's off front, dude. - That's what you're opening with. - Well, what if she gets all the heavy shit out of the way up top? - Well, if that's the only thing that bothers her. The sideburns, and I had to play my music, that's it. Those are the only problems. - I mean, that's pretty good. - That is pretty good in the long run. - And they're dating profiles, like, look, I hate sideburns, and I gotta play my music. But outside of that, I'm gonna kill chick on Earth. - Yeah. - But that, I mean, those are warning signs, no? - So you're never gonna talk to that girl again. - I have it, no. - Yeah. - Because it was like, it just felt, you know, it's just hot, but that's nothing. - They're all hot, yeah, yeah. - Every girl is hot with you. I said that to someone who was I talking to, you guys, and I was like, they're all hot. - They're all hot. - But now it's like, I can't do it if they're like that. - Well, it doesn't matter that they're hot, because that's not, there's more that you need. - There's more than you need. - There's more that you need. (laughing) - This is also the New Year's episode when we talk about resolutions. - Are you a producer, can I be honest with you? McCone? - Yeah. - Are you a producer on the show? - You're his boss. - I mean, what is your job description? - It's vague and it changes often. - But is it telling me what to do? (laughing) Is that your job description? Telling me what to do. - I want to feed you the ball. - Yeah, yeah. Did you come up with that segment? Resolutions? - Yeah. - Yeah? (laughing) - New year, new year. - Yeah, yeah. - You know what? We're not doing that. - That's okay. - Yeah, yeah. You have any other suggestions? - Not right now, I'll let you know. - Yeah, now look what you're getting mad. (laughing) - Right, you're getting a little angry and rageful, right? - Resentment. - Yeah, why the resentment? No, why the resentment though? Let's get this out. Maybe that should be the new years. Right? - Yeah. - Yeah. - What's going on? - No, there's no resentment. - Yeah, yeah, there is, 'cause you're hiding, I can tell. All right, we're good? - Yeah, we're all good. - I can see your face though. You can't hide your face. When I see you sometimes, like, you know what, last time we got a little, you could do the face. - Yeah. - When was it? - When was the last time we got into it? - No, it wasn't getting, something that happened in Phoenix. - I don't remember. - You got your camera in my face. Remember? - No. - Yeah. - It happens a lot. - I don't take these things, you say seriously, 'cause you're a funny silly guy. - He doesn't take you seriously. - Damn, he doesn't take you seriously. - That's what I'm talking about though. - He was intimidating, guy. - He said that to me one time. He goes, "Bobby, I don't take him seriously." - Oh, you want me to get intimidating? (laughing) - You can try. - Oh, shit. You can try? (laughing) - I love you so much. - No, okay, okay, I'll try. I'll try. - Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try. - You can try. - That's my new year. I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try to be intimidating. - Okay. - Yeah, yeah, that's fun. What are you gonna do? New year. - I'm trying to stay more consistent at the gym. - Okay. (laughing) - I was going to say. (humming) - G-I-G-I-Shing Koching Chow. - Pew, pew, pew. - I was gonna say, you should be looking for a new job. (laughing) - Yeah. - Might have to replace you. - I mean, for your age, here's another thing that you do that it's crafty, McCone. - Yeah. - 'Cause it's his networking. I see it. - Oh, right. Like, when we're backstage at him talking to Shane. - He's always trying to jump, jump, jump it up. - Yeah, he's trying to jump, jump it up. - Jump me, guy. - And I wanted to go to Shane and go, camera guy. (laughing) He's just a kid, camera guy. - He did say that. - Yeah, did I say that? - You did say that. - Yeah, I interrupted them. - And Shane would, no. - Okay. - He was talking to me. - Yeah. - Ooh, you see, he's snapping on you a little bit. - I know, I think so. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm gonna say what happened. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - This is interesting. - It's interesting. - Andrew gave him wins though. - What wins? - This guy. - I know. - I gave him wins. - You pulled him up. - Wings. - Wings. - I was like, I gave him wins. - Yeah, I think you influenced him. He thinks he's you. - No. - Yeah, yeah. He's an extension of your arm. - He's an extension of my leg. - Yeah. - He's holding on to my leg. - Daddy, daddy. - I gave him, I gave him, right, I gave him lift. And so now he's flying at 35,000 feet and he belongs in a Cessna below oxygen levels. - Right. - Where he thinks,
- We're peers. - Right here. - Do you think we're peers? - I think at this point, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're friends. - No, that's not what he asked you. - Definitely, I don't think we're peers, Bobby. - I think so. - But also I'm not a comedian, so it's a different thing. - Ah. - I think if I was like an open mic or I wanted to be a comic, maybe. - Ah. - But I'm not, I'm not in that way. - We work together. - I'm on this side. - We work together. - I don't know, but it's like we're, there's different planes. I'm not even, I'm not. - You have as much power as I do on the show? No, be honest. - No, of course. - Yeah. What do you think the power levels are though? - You're 10,000 and I'm a, you're 50. - Yeah. - You know. - Well then tell yourself that. - You're 50? - 50, I mean it's a weighted scale. - I don't know if you're 50. - Yeah, I don't know if you're 50. - What do you think you, if I'm not? - If you're 50 and he's a hundred thousand, what's Andreas? - Andreas is like 99,000. - I don't make me one of this. - So you guys have talked about this before, obviously. Doesn't that sound like they've discussed this? So you're 10,000 less than us. - No. - And what is to do with me? - You're 300,000. - Oh, I'm. - I'm a hundred thousand, he's 300,000. (laughing) - 99, 75, 10. - And 50. - And he's 300, I'm 100,000. (laughing) - Yeah. - Okay, in one way though. The edit, there's so much control in the edit and the influence, the original voice of the show shaped into what he is. - Legend. - Shut up, shut up. - No, you're talking about Andreas right now, right? No, I'm talking about, why is he 200,000 more? - I mean, just planning stuff, putting stuff together. (laughing) - Special Olympics event. - He's trolling, he's so hard right now. It's fucking, I know it's getting to you, dude. - I know. - Don't let him troll you. - I'm really mad. (laughing) - I'm really mad right now. - 'Cause he's trolling you, he's working. - Here's why, we come to this every year, to this point where I get this mad and then I forget about it. (laughing) - That's right. - The year goes on, I forget. But I think my New Year's resolution is not to forget. - Never forget. - I'm not intimidating. - Right. - And I have no power. (laughing) - No, you have less power. - God. - Yeah, but if either one of us, right, leaves the show, the show's over. - Of course. - Right, so I would say there were 50/50. - Or 50/50. - Exactly. - Yeah, but not in your eyes. - Yeah, it's a weighted 50. One 50's a little heavier than the other 50's. (laughing) - Dude, he's logged in. - Yeah, okay. - It's so interesting. - That's very interesting. - It's very interesting stuff. - I feel like he's doing a very good job and Carlos has stayed like eerily quiet. (laughing) He doesn't wanna fuck up anything. 'Cause he's learned. - Yeah, because you do the forgetting thing with me a lot. - Yeah. - I have to. - I forgive. No. With him, I forget. For you, I forgive. (laughing) Okay, don't get me wrong. I always remember. But I forgave you for those things, right? - That's true. - Yeah, yeah. But for you, I forget. I go, oh, he's not as annoying as I thought. - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. - But then he is. - He is? - Yeah. - I think I'm just a little sad on Kill Bill today. - He canceled as well! - I had work to do. - You canceled the sleep-in. (laughing) - I started out 1 p.m. - I had to work. - I hadn't slept in four days, I said, okay. I went from Vegas to Phoenix to here, all right? I hadn't slept and tomorrow I have the busiest day imaginable. So in my mind, like Sunday's the only day I can sleep in. I'm not gonna wake up during my sleep-in day and go, I'm gonna go watch Kill Bill. I'd rather sleep in. Who do I do, Andrew? I need your advice. (laughing) - We're at a precipice here. - I think, no, I don't know what do I do. - I think as the boss, you need to take some sort of disciplinary action. Now, is that like a temporary suspension from the show? - I don't know, what do I do though? - I'm just, I'm-- - He my advisor. - I think perhaps the temporary suspension might be there. I mean, not an expulsion, but, you know, I don't know if he's terminated. - Expulsion? - You wanna terminate. - I don't know. - How close is he for termination? - I think I'm gonna do it because he's not intimidated and he doesn't believe that I'm gonna do it. And then I'm gonna have to do it so that he believes. - I look, dude, the power's in your hands. - Can I ask you something, Andreas, real quick before I do what I'm gonna do, right? Who has all the cut footage of bad friends? You do. He has none of that to blackmail me or to put it online. - No, I have tour footage. - That's why he does have tour footage. - Yeah. - And I say a lot of things on the tour. - Yeah, yeah. - But that's our property. That's illegal for him to, we can, we can. - Yeah, but I think he would, if I fired him. - You think he would release him? - He would leak that stuff out. - He won't. - Oh, you're fired? (laughing) - It sounded intimidating to me. - Yeah, yeah. You're fired. Why are you blushing? - Well, I just wanna know if there's anything I can do to win back. - No, no, no. - Oh, that's good. - Yeah, yeah. - Smart thing. - Because with your networking, this is what, you're not playing it right. - Okay. - Yeah, yeah. The plate is, even if you believe these things, right? You say the opposite. Right, there's things that like, you know, you're polysure, or back in when I was a kid, you know what I mean? Or what Mitzi Shor would say that I like didn't believe, or like, you know what I mean? But I wouldn't say it out loud, that's insane. - I got you. - Right, so it's like. - Where are the pants on the podcast? (laughing) (laughing) - Dude. (laughing) - Yeah. You had to do it subtly. (laughing) - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - None is overt, you know what I mean, like, you know what I mean? You gotta train, I take some acting classes or something. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Well, how about this? - Do you wanna dock his pay? - No, just let him down and give a fuck. - Well, here's, this is fun. - No, it's okay. - What if we give him? - That's his financial man. He doesn't care. - I know, okay. - What if he gives his money divided into, half goes to fancy, and then the other half goes to Carla? - No, no, he needs money. So it's like, just let him do what he wants. - No, he can sleep here at the studio, he used to do it. He did it when he had his best of this. (laughing) - It's like, you know what I mean, I worked so hard to get to this place. - You did. - Most still don't respect me, it's fine. I'm used to it. - He respects you. - No, no, I'm used to it. I've seen it. - Raise your hand if you respect Bob and the studio. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Put your hand down. I don't, honestly, McCone, I don't care. Any of you guys, all right? That's my new year's resolution. I'm just gonna do what I do, you know? It's a good start to the year. - Yeah. - 2026 is off to a hot start. - Yeah. - I'll tell you what I'm looking forward to. - Well, I wanna hear everything. - A long winter's nap. - Me too. - With mom and her Kirchiff and me and my cap. - Yeah. - I can't wait. I can't wait to just lay down for like a couple of weeks. - Two, man. - I need it. - I wanna go on my horse. - I wanna go on your horse. - And just right around that game. - It goes to your tie. - Yeah. Go on adventures. - Let's get you a real horse. - No. - You could keep a mini horse at your house. - Yeah. - You got room back there. - You know what I realized about you the other day. If you're not good at it, you won't do it. - What do you mean? - So when we're backstage in Phoenix, we're playing that video game. And we're like, come on, play like nah. You played one round and that was it. 'Cause if you're not good at it, you won't participate. - Partially true. I also didn't care to play. - Yeah, but I think that's a part of it. - No, no, I'll do stuff that I'm not that good at. I play tennis, I'm not that good at tennis. - Yeah. - But when it comes to stuff like that, you're like, nah, nah. - It's cool to watch, but I don't care about video games. - I just don't care. - I like the competitiveness of it. - I love competition, but I like physical competition. - It was a game where you had four characters and you're just trying to throw them off of a building. - It's great. It was so fun to watch. - It was so fun. - I was more of a spectating of it was fun. - Yeah. - But no, I just, I like physical. I like games that I can play in that it's an exercise, it's an exercise of mine. - We talked about this, but we can. - Ability. - Twitch is on. - Twitch is on. - You know what I need. - To either your wear. - I need speech class, I think. - Yeah. - Don't you think? Why isn't anybody told me, I need speech class. - Well, and the thing is this, I say that a lot. Don't I say that a lot? - And I say, let me tell you something. We say the same thing. - Yeah, yeah. - But it's a habit of your communication on the-- - Sometimes I'll commit to a word that I don't know how to pronounce, but then it'll just come out of the train. I mean, the train will come out of the-- - Sometimes it'll come out of the-- - The tunnel, too early, whatever. That's a bad analogy, you know what I mean? It's trezzy. - Yeah, you do have a little-- - Yeah, I'll just say it. And I go, I don't know the word. But it's coming out. - Let it happen. - Yeah. - That's the beauty. That's the beauty of your artistic mind. You let things fly. - Where I think so fast, that's not true. What you're saying you're making fun of me? - No, I'm saying I just, you doing this made me laugh. And you go, I think so fast. I did say it was a funny, it looked funny. - Yeah, I think fast, right? But then I want to get it out too fast and then it comes out all weird. - That's how I write. I can't write because there's too much brain going like, "No, no, no, no, no, no, and I just can't get it out." Well, more than anything, we hope everybody's 2026 is off to a killer start. - And we are still gonna be doing bad friends in 2026. We cannot wait. - It's here now. - That's right. - And 2027. And 2028, and 2029, and for people that want to know, in six years, the show will be coming to a close when Bobby turned 60. We're gonna throw a big bash and the show will be done. - In six years. Really, do you want to do that? - In six years. - When I'm 60, we should end it. - Yeah. - Well, 'cause I'm gonna die. - No, I think that's, I think you need a retire. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
From this. From podcast. Yeah. I think six years at 60 years old will be. I'll drift into the wilderness. You can just keep living the way I live. I'll just won't be doing podcast. Yeah, yeah. Let's let's predict where we are. But the way you feel at 54, I feel that 40. It's the same. No, no, no. You feel better than I'm going to feel when I'm your age. For sure. Why? Because I'm I eat unhealthy and I still drink alcohol. Yeah, back discs that hurt. I've back discs that hurt. Yeah. How about this? Let this is a fun little predictive thing real quick. Yeah. At 60 when we say goodbye to the show. Where do you think your life looks like? What do you think my life looks like? I think I'll have a kid. That's okay. By then. All right. How many? You'll have one kid. How old is it? Like it's 18. I'm going to adopt. Good. I'm going to adopt that. You know, man. No, no, you might have a kid. You at 12. I'm going to adopt a 12 year old. You think at 60 you're going to be in love and married? No, single father. Single father. Yeah. With an 18 year old Russian kid. Yeah. Where am I going to be? Oh, it's going to be great. But go on. Yeah. You're going to make the stitching on a baseball. See that baseball? That's going to be my job. Yeah. Yeah. You're just doing that red stitching on the baseball. So comedy. I'm out podcasting. I'm out of something. Something's happened here. Yeah. Yeah. So I need to go back to stitching. Yeah. Yeah. My original first love. Yeah. Stitching. Yeah. But you're going to be the best at it. So I'm the best stitcher in the world. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. That's good. Yeah. Thank you for being a bad friend. [Music]
Podcast Summary
Key Points:
The speaker shares a detailed travel itinerary for 2026, including concerts in Windsor, Bethlehem, Hanover, Atlantic City, San Diego, Canyonville, Lincoln, and a finale in Providence.
A humorous anecdote highlights the speaker’s mother falling during a trip to Phoenix, with Jules quickly responding to help, sparking a moment of reflection on caregiving and aging.
The conversation celebrates a successful performance opening for Shane Gillis, with praise for the crowd size and energy, and mentions of other comedians like Nate and McCusker.
A fun moment features Frankie Kinyones arriving as "Creeper," dancing, throwing pitches, and engaging with fans at a Special Olympics event, described as joyful and memorable.
The group discusses the idea of launching a "Big Brother" charity initiative to mentor and connect with young people, emphasizing the value of human interaction and emotional support.
A humorous exchange occurs about dreams involving death, with the speaker joking that such dreams are just myths and not reflective of real danger.
The podcast touches on absurdities in daily life, like delivery mishaps, strange food experiences, and the overuse of door dash, while humorously critiquing automation and robot-driven services.
The conversation concludes with a promotional tie-in to Bluetooth Gold, a performance-enhancing product, and a call to action for listeners to use a special code for discounts, alongside a playful endorsement of Kachava as a nutritious, flavorful supplement.
Summary:
The podcast features a lively, humorous discussion combining travel plans, personal anecdotes, and deep reflections on life, aging, and human connection. The host outlines a series of 2026 shows across North America, from Canada to California, with a focus on live performance and camaraderie. A heartfelt moment involves the speaker’s mother falling during a trip, prompting discussion about caregiving and the importance of presence.
The conversation also highlights a memorable Special Olympics event, where Frankie Kinyones brings energy and fun as a spontaneous performer. The hosts explore the idea of launching a “Big Brother” mentorship program to support youth, emphasizing the value of human interaction and emotional bonds. They also dig into everyday absurdities—like delivery errors, bizarre ice cream flavors, and chaotic fast-food experiences—while poking fun at automation and robot culture.
A recurring theme is the contrast between order and chaos, with the hosts arguing that human error and unpredictability bring authenticity and excitement. The episode concludes with promotional content for Bluetooth Gold and Kachava, both tied to a shared “BadFriends” code, reinforcing the hosts’ playful, irreverent, and deeply human tone. The dialogue blends humor, vulnerability, and insight, creating an engaging narrative that celebrates both personal milestones and the quirks of modern life.
FAQs
Andrew Santino is scheduled to perform in Windsor, Ontario (January 16), Bethlehem, PA, Hanover, Maryland, Atlantic City, Valley Center, San Diego, Canyonville, Oregon, and Lincoln, California. He will also do a road show in Providence, Rhode Island in March.
Tickets for Andrew Santino's shows are available at AndrewSantino.com.
Andrew Santino coached at a Special Olympics event and was moved by the dedication of the participants. He emphasized how meaningful and fun the day was, especially with Frankie Kinyones showing up as Creeper and engaging with attendees.
He suggests starting a charity, such as 'Big Brother,' where he and friends could spend time with young people, build connections, and create fun, memorable experiences together.
The story highlights a moment when Andrew's mom fell and his friend Jules picked her up, illustrating a bond of care and teamwork, and serving as a light-hearted reflection on human connection and responsibility.
Listeners can get 10% off their first month of Bluetooth Gold with the promo code 'BadFriends' at Bluetooth.com.
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