Eating Crap

I need to ask, like I still, I like can't face the fact that it's happening. Like what in the morning you live in the morning? No. How are you? No. No. No. No. No. Why? Ew. Why? Why? Be sweet. Be sweet. What's the reason? What's the reason? What's the reason for anything? That's so damn true. How are ya? Give a girl a frickin' minute. Yeah. Soak it in, baby. I've, like I've already been kind of like on the verge of tears all morning. Yeah. And it's just like, I love you to death. Yeah. This is a bit helping. Oh. You'll get used to it because you have to. Where did you hit? Like how? Maybe I don't know. How? Hey, I don't know. Where did your hair go? Baby, I don't know. Oh hell no. When did you decide to do this? Oh lord. I don't know. I wanted to try something new. It's cool. There's like an access on your neck, on the back of your neck. It just looks like you've so much skin hanging off of your neck. I'm wanna talk. I look like a monster because of my lip. You can't even see your lip. Are you serious? Yes. I was gonna eat my chomp. You can't eat your chomp because of my new look? Genuinely. That's correct. Wow. You've always wanted to be involved, though. I told you I've been wanting it. This has been something that's been on my mind. Do you wanna cozy up into the covers and squirm around? I wanna burrow into my silk sheets, yes. And kind of. Although. World build in there. I don't think you would feel the feeling of the silk on your scalp because it's not your scalp. I don't know if it broke, I feel like I might really like it in there. I feel like I might really like it in there. Putting a feeling in my chest. You don't think I look kind of good? I. Yeah. Kind of like. Shit with it? Yeah. Let me sit with it because I didn't really have a minute to sit with it. Yeah, no. You know, it kind of just came out. I just wanted to be your neighbor today, you know. And that's like a blanket seat meant your neighbor. I'm everybody's neighbor. I'm having a hard time like just easing into everything and just suggesting. Oh wait, do you wanna tell the audio listeners what happened? Oh yeah, sure. I got a new look. If you're listening on audio, like genuinely, I'm sorry. And I was gonna tell everyone to just do audio only today because something happened on my lip and I looked. I don't think anyone's gonna be looking at your lip, baby. I'm sorry, I got a new look. That's good, like thank you. And thank you for that. Yeah, I seriously was like. I was also saying this is disgusting. So I can leave disgusting. And then I sat with it and I got the mustache and I was like, "Oh, maybe there is a world where this is doable for me down the road, if I have to." I don't know if there is. All right, I'm bored. Let's go to Turkey. I don't know if there is. But I just like, where did your hair go? It's gone. I want you to get used to this 'cause this could happen. It couldn't. It could. I don't, you wouldn't let it. The medical advances have allowed us to avoid these sort of things, but like I think that I would. I am one that would let it go because I'm always trying to let people know that it's okay to just let it go. And you will look better in this way. Well, I don't know, but also there's two different kinds of bald men. There's what you are doing right now where it's like the shiny, completely hairless bald. And then there's kind of a stubbly bald. Not everyone can achieve what you have. Not all men can achieve this shiny, cubal head. Is it shiny to you? Do you want to touch it? No, no, no, no, no, not at all. But. You don't want to touch it at all. Not at all. I don't have any desire, but not all men can achieve that. It is genuine. This is what a penis looks like. I like, I have chills, yeah. This is literally, this is like when I put this on today, I go, this is. This is the white, uncle-aged man at jazz in the park in your neighborhood. I also just never considered your head, like the shape of your head. [Music] Oh! You got your sprinklers. They look good. [Music] [Music] Not in a dancing mood today. [Music] All right. How do you feel? I feel great, I've been here for a while. Can I ask how long this took? This took two hours. Okay. To achieve. Yeah. It's not easy, I have a full head. No, you have a full head. Yeah. I just said I'm having trouble understanding where that went. It's under. How? It's my undercarriage. China. China does it all. I know. Yeah. I know. I don't know how to like have a normal episode. You, I promise you, sit with it. Is he ended up really coming around to my bald head? Really? Yeah. When he first put it on, it was hard to look at it. I'm having like that reaction. I think I was on it. And I'm burping a lot. I said, that is fucking disgusting. I'm burping a lot. I first said it and I was like, I'm sorry, but like I just have not seen myself like that. We have to move on because you know. I'm just going to start. I'm going to look straight ahead for a little. Okay. And I hope that doesn't upset you. You need to like, I need you to know that like when I was Voldemort like understandable, like reaction there. But I think you might have like adverse feelings towards bald people. No, it's this kind of bald. Shiny bald? Shiny bald. I've always, it's never been my preference. Like pop up is bald, but he has like, you know, that like half a halo of like whatever's left, I guess. What is that called? It's not half a, it's like a reverse. It's like a reverse hairline. It's like a reverse tapered. It's like, you know what I mean? They have the hair on the side. I don't know. I'm fine. I'm totally fine with that. But it's cue ball. Bald has always sat with me in a way that I'm uncomfortable with. Did you call? No. You got my sash hair in here. Yeah. I feel. They should, they should, I, they should call that hair type the arena because it does, or the call us. Yeah. It does. Exactly. It's like that horseshoe shape. It's round where you could actually view a show there. Right. If you wanted to see, like some sort of amphitheater, the amphitheater. Maybe you could try that next time. Maybe I will. Yeah. That would make you feel more comfortable if I had a little bit of hair on my side. Just a little. Okay. I see pains in my throat. Safety pains? Yeah. What is that? From you. Like, I feel like I've partied your mustache in my throat. Okay. Hold on. Because one, I need to pull up our notes because I have so much from the past couple weeks that we've been, we obviously had Lizzy on last week. So I, we couldn't throw her into the ringer with all this, this stuff. Right. She was amazing. She was so amazing. It's going to be hard to like move on past that. But. Pretty great girl. Oh, what I was just saying. I was like, you'll, you'll, you'll, you'll have to move on because you have to. Yeah. I like Voldemort. Like I'm like, oh, that's like you're in a costume, you know? Yeah. This is like, there's a real, there's a realism here. I can't stop waving like this. I get it. Do you feel yourself embodying the character? I'm becoming another person. Ugh. Stop. I just know. Like, that's exactly how you would act. Yeah. I know. I like it. You're doing too well. I like it. I like it. You should be flattered that I'm having this type of reaction because you're, you're nailing the part. Thanks. Yeah. Well, I was saying the, why did we start saying they'll understand because they have to. This is about others. It's something he, I think was, were you, were you missing a week or something? Maybe. The podcast or like our behavior was poor or something. That's what it was. It was we were acting. We were misbehaving. Yeah. And it was reflecting poorly on our character, our words. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. And we said, you know what? This is just kind of like a ride off and they'll understand because they have to. Yeah. And that was, I've been applying, they'll understand because they have to in my life so much so that I've reversed and engineered it. And I've gotten all the way to, I'll understand because I have to. I've been letting go of it. I love that. Yeah. I love to understand because I have to. That's like, you know what it's similar to is, you don't have to do it with a smile. Do it with a frown, but you just have to do it. Yeah. It's like you sometimes, some things you just have to. That can live in the same box as I'll understand because I have to. Yeah. Because it's just like out of my control and it's going to happen whether or not, and then it goes all the way back to like 99% of the things you worry about don't even happen. Hey. What do you have an anxiety about today? Anxiety about today? Yeah. Um, a number of things. Do you have a different kind of hair sucking your mustache? There's been several. The one I pulled out on my mouth was not from my mouth. Yeah. There's a different kind of hair poking out. But I don't have a cat. It's like a cat hair. I know. It tastes like a cat hair. It tasted like cat hair. Come here. Oh, yeah. You didn't get it. Oh, that's my nose. Oh, it's from your mustache. It's just coming off a little. Yeah, more coarse than I had anticipated. Did I tell you last week after you said that you had gray hairs? I was in my hotel and I came across my desk. Yeah. I'm sorry about that. I was just like, you did that. I know. You texted me and said, I hate you. Yeah. And I literally my stomach dropped. And look at me now. Because I'm actually dropped. And I was like, what could I have done? And then I gave you gray hair. Did that inspire this completely unrelated if you can imagine? I mean, sure. It was some conscience. Right. So, God just-- What is that from some conscience? That was from that accent that you hate when I do the Larry David accent. Yeah. But why is the word subconscious? Oh, because we used to do accents a lot when we all lived together because we thought we were on the precipice of something. Precipice? Precipice that post. What's making you anxious? I don't have anything really that's making me anxious that I can speak into the camera. Oh, but you have stuff that is unspoken? Yeah. Okay. Really incredible stuff. What are you? I'm like-- I know it's on your mind, too. I can talk about it. No, it's not that. But I can talk about this because it will be done by the time this episode comes out. But I have to go on live TV. Yeah. On Wednesday. It's Monday right now in New York. I haven't slept in a month. Yeah. Have you ever seen that video of the guy going on this day show? Have you ever seen the video of the guy, the newscaster, having a panic attack on camera? No. It's not pretty. And I remember I saw it years ago because it obviously went viral, of course. And I remember thinking, like, thank God, I will never have to go on live TV. Thank God. And now here we are. You make a plan and God laughs. God is cracking up. Yeah. I don't know what I'm going to do. It'll, it's like going to be one full minute of your time and then that's going to be it and you'll probably only talk one five full minutes. It's, it's going to feel like one. It's going to be over in two seconds. You're going to be like, I wish I had 15. I promise you that won't be my line of thing. Oh, I promise you. Well, you're going to love it. You're going to eat it up. I'm not. I'm just like, I don't, I'm like, I've never been this nervous for anything in my entire life. It's a lie. No. Yes. I don't know what to do. Beta blocker. That's true. I've been training myself with my betas. Yeah. I think they're so expired, though. Oh, that would actually Google says it's fine because the shelf life is of them is really good. Or I don't know if that's the way to like the right way to talk about shelf life. It just has a high shelf life. If it has a, a long, long, long, long shelf life, yeah, the way it's like air based times high shelf life, five, so maintains up to 90% efficiency after five years pass expiration day. Is what Google said. How many years has it been? Two. You're fine. And it's not like you're going to get like a really potent beta blocker. That's a quailoo. Like it's not going to like, I want to like, I need something stronger. I don't think so. I do. I don't think so. I'm going to get really drunk at 9am before the today show. That would reflect really well on your line of work. It really would. Okay. So you can say today show, yeah, I guess this comes out after. Yeah, I mean, I probably could have said it before too, but I didn't want to talk about it before. Are you going to be on the today show part where I can be behind there with a window that's like, I don't know. She killed my dog or something. I don't know where I was sitting. I don't know anything. I'm going to wear this and just be right behind you like this. I'm hoping that what happens is that I'm in a room where it's like really not a lot of people. And my brain is not able to connect the dots like that's going to be that television. I'm hoping that it's just like this. And like, I'm not my body doesn't process the fact that I'm being locked that I'm live. You're going to be completely coach honest. You know that the as soon as I finished the today show, we've recorded an episode of this podcast. I didn't know that. Yeah. So that should be fun. Okay. And you know what I've been telling myself that the only thing that helps, it will be over. No matter what happens, like it will be done. Even if I die on live television, those five minutes will end whether I'm here or not. And life will go on. Oh, I don't like that. I don't like how you I don't like how you go into there. No, that made me because it is crazy that like, if you were to die, it's legitimately helping me to think if I dropped that on the today show, life will still go on. They will they will haul my body off. And then they have to do the next segment and they will go on. Tundish it goes down at the today show and they go and they move on. Oh my god. Somebody's just going to bring out some pans and be like, this is you need these for the summer. And your body's going to be just like, bagged up to go doggy bag. Okay. Okay. This is helpful. Good. Oh, this is helpful. Good. Yeah. Good. Good. Hey you. We want to take a quick break to think a sponsor of today's episode. My friends and family. Lola blankets. Wedding season always comes around and I never know what to get people. Good reminder, I have to get some people some gifts. Actually that is like, this is great that this workout. 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Prime for young adults is only available for 18 to 24-year-olds to terms apply. Well, I'll be back in New York. - When do you leave? - I'm gonna go on your flight tomorrow, surprise. - Are you accurate? - Yeah, I just moved it. I'm gonna keep this on for-- - You don't know what flight I'm on. - I have, I found out. - There's only a couple flights. - No, you didn't. - Yeah, I did. - What flight are you on? - You're on the 11 a.m. to JFK. - No, I'm not. - Well, I am now, so. - I'm on the 10 a.m. - Ichi, am I gonna have a dry scalp today? Which is a bad day to put on the look. But yeah, I'm going back and then my timing kind of opened up until I go see my grandma at the end of the month and then miss again, but I am just in New York until I move in my apartment. - That's such a good feeling. - The feeling of being able to delete street, easy, and zillow from my phone seriously, seriously feels like-- - Well, you didn't tell everyone you got a new apartment. - Oh, on the bonus I did, I got the apartment. I got the apartment and deleting zillow and street, easy from my phone feels like I'm leaving like an abusive relationship. - That's awesome. - Like these things have been playing in my face. These photos I've seen, I'm like, I'm just real thought it like, it genuinely feels like deleting dating apps being like I found the one, you know? And something I found that was pretty cathartic after I've deleted these things was like, finding out that like as much as I hate landlords, just because of my experience with landlords, I think someone else that's equally up in the ranks in terms of evil spirits and like genuinely sadistic individuals sellouts. - Can I guess? - Yep. - Sellouts. Evil sadistic sellouts. Is it like something similar to landlord? - Yeah, kind of, it's in the process. - Oh, is it the broker? - Nope. - Is it-- - Sometimes, but not always. - Is it a realtor? - Nope. - Is it, it does have to do with housing? - Yeah. - Is it the mold inspector? - No. - No, you wouldn't say a bad word about the mold inspector. Tell me. - The photographers. You are just, if not more, because you're selling out deceitful as those you work for. - It's like a dating app like, who does it help that the pictures don't reflect what's actually there? So we're gonna find out. - We're gonna find out. And I'm holding you. We need to start holding these Zillow photographers accountable for what they're doing. - Who are they? I think a lot of times it's the people who just own the house uploading photos, right? - There are some photographers, and I've gone to places and I've toured places, and then they get posted on Instagram. And it's like these amazing architectural digest style photos of this large space. And I'm like, no, no, no, no. I'm commenting on them. I'm leaving comments, I'm saying, do not fall for this. Please, you, use your eyes. - Yeah. - Look and see, and hear, heed my warning. Do not even go tour this place. 'Cause you're gonna suck you in there. - Sometimes it's the complete opposite though, and they post kind of like bad pictures, and it's an amazing place. - I have not had that experience ever in my life. You're very lucky, you're a lucky girl. - Oh, I haven't had it, but both Cat and Tristan's places. They were like crappy photos. - They were just whatever. And their houses are gorgeous. - No, these people, they're genuinely getting a getty photographers from the red carpet to take photos of this 14 square foot apartment. And I'm like, oh my God, I could get a ping pong table. And I get there and I'm like, how do I get in through the door? 'Cause the door touches the other wall. It's super crazy. - Yeah, it's not helping anyone. - No, and this experience with the apartment that I was, that I have signed the lease on now. It was honest and it was truthful and it was real. - Good. That must feel so amazing. - I'm looking, I'm very much looking forward to it. - I'm looking forward to it. When do you move in? - The 15th, two weeks. - So exciting. - It's gonna be really great. It's a shin that you won't be there while I moved in. - I know. - And I'm vetting you over to see my current home. - But we're gonna go out to a celebratory dinner. - Yeah. When I'm there, 'cause I will have completed today's show. Unless I don't make it, we're gonna go out to a celebratory dinner. No matter what happens, we're gonna celebrate. - Can we do like 7.30? - I would love to do something later. - Huh? - That's perfect 7.30. Why wait, what? - No, I was saying in my mind 7.30 is later, so that was me agreeing with 7.30. - For a dinner? - Wait, why are you confused? - Because-- - Does that feel early to you? - That's like an early dinner. - Oh, so to me, that's like the latest I would ever go. - What's on your dinner? - Five? - And you don't eat a second dinner? - I usually have a pretty little substantial dessert. I get pinkberry most nights. - What? - I'm a bad girl. - You're crazy. - Yeah. - Or I like pig out. Yeah. My eating schedule is weird 'cause I can't do breakfast. I'm really nauseous for the first four hours of the day. So I do lunch and then an early dinner and then crap. My crap meal. - So from like 4 to 10, you're crap, you're crapping out? - No, from like, wait, what? - You're telling me I'm just kind of repeating what you're saying. - Lunch? - Yeah, no I got-- - At like noon, early dinner. - And at five. - At like five, and then maybe like eight, I'm doing crap. - Oh. - So I guess that could maybe 12. You could think about it as the 12 o'clock is my breakfast. The five o'clock is my late lunch. - You're like intermittent fasting. - And then I just do crap for dinner. - And then you're crapping out towards the end. Oh, I kind of like finishing with crap. - Yeah, I'm always topping with crap. - What crap did you top with last night? - A chicken finger. Left over cold chicken finger. - Oh, like when you set up the word crap, like I was expecting some bullshit. That's not bullshit at all. One chicken finger? - Well, I wasn't very hungry. I haven't been eating just due to extreme, extreme anxiety. - You know what, here's, let me tell you me. I'll be home, if I start, if you put, if you say crap to me, I want you to know, the other day I put in a turkey sausage and just raw into the air fryer and then I just put cheese over top of it and then I cooked it for 10 minutes. - That sounds good. - Yeah, that's my crap. - I also usually do fruity pebbles. - I'll do 10 frozen meatballs and some strawberries. - You eat so well. - I know, I eat like I'm living in a IKEA. - That's perfect. - I do like it. - Yeah. - I'm not complaining at all, but crap to me would be like this bowl of shit. - And sometimes I'll just do olives, like a jar of olives. - That's disgusting to me. - I like olives. - But 730, to me, to most people I think now is like an early dinner. 730 to me is the perfect time to eat supper. - More of the story, 730 is fucking fabulous for dinner. - It's pretty perfect. - I will see you at 730. - Do you know why I wanted to do 730? - 'Cause you're done by nine? - No, 'cause I wanted to take a pretty significant nap before that. - Yeah. - 'Cause I always deserve it. Did you hear my stomach just now 'cause I didn't get a chance to eat my chomp? Now, why do you sound like Olivia Dean? Did you hear my stomach? - Just now. I have to tell you something. - Yeah. - I got these new flip-flops. - Oh, I saw them. - They're like wedge flip-flops. - Those are my mom used to wear 'cause she has plenty of fishy eyes. - Yeah, they're kind of, oh. You think these look like plantarficiitis, flop? - It helps with your arch, yeah. - Okay, so I felt pretty bad getting out of an Uber. - When? - Yes, your day. - Okay. - Just alone, like hard onto the, thank God it was grass, but like I fell and I've been thinking about it ever since. - So how does that, how'd you end up with the platform flop? - Oh, I was wearing them and I fallen because they're a different sort of shape. - They're huge. - Yeah, they don't go out with my ankle, so I'd fallen, like pretty hard and it was pretty embarrassing and everyone was like, are you okay? - Where did the people see it? - Yes. - Yes, yes, it's like to fall, it's just hard. - Brooke, I tell you all the time, when I fall and I by myself, it's usually like, if a tree falls in the forest, doesn't make a sound. Like, if you fall when you're alone, you genuinely don't make a sound 'cause it's like, who am I doing this for? - A lot of people saw. - Yeah, did you make a sound? Or did you get up and-- - No, it was so soft 'cause it was on the grass, but it was full body, like, it was like, it wasn't even like I protected myself with my hands when I felt that. - You just gave up, like-- - Did you chest it to ground? - Just one body, like, body slamming or not. - That's my favorite way for people to fall. - It was almost like a stop drop in roll. - Like, you hit horizontal? - I don't even know, I just remember being split, I was split out, it's almost like I was dying, like, I did a dive, like a belly flop jump 'cause I was just like, I don't care, I don't care, about anything. - Did you bounce? - I think on my way down, I was actively like, I don't care about anything, it's all over anyway, like, I just hate this. And so I just, like, completely had given up past like the room. - That's so fun. Oh my gosh, that was like when I got hit by that car. - Yeah. - In the scooter, I was in the air for so long that I was like, am I still in the air? - How embarrassing. - Yeah, it was horrible. And then I hit the ground, I was embarrassed too, and the car yelled at me, and I was like, sorry. - But that's like, I, like, getting hit by a car was less embarrassing than falling for sure. (coughing) - Yeah. - Don't you think? - Yeah, did you bounce? - Hard hit. - Like, hit and just stuck the landing? - Yeah. - Wow. - So, that is that. Wanted to tell someone. - Well, you, you know what? You got back on your horse, those platform things. - Yeah, no, I'm back in them. - I think they're cute. - Yeah, they're kind of like early 2000s. - Yeah, they are. So, ew, my shorts have been written up this whole time. - Are they in, yeah? - No, they're just like, I just don't like the way that my body looks. Can we cut the episodes? It was just my face, oh, I don't want my face in it either. Can we cut me out of this episode? - Can you blur, bro? - Can you blur my whole body? Just do like one blur. Actually, remember that episode of Fairly Odd Parents for everyone's just a great blob. Just, I just want to be like, I just want to be like, that one scared me really bad. - That was actually an amazing learning lesson that episode. No, not today. - What does it look like? - It looks ew. - I don't think it could ever look ew. - It looks ew. - I like it. - Okay. But you will spend so much time getting bald. I don't think you should. - You don't need to, yeah, go backwards. You want to hear something that happened to me last week? - Yeah. - It was horrible. - Tell me. - So I was auditioning for something. - What was it? What was it? - Just something I'll never get like usual. And. - How often do you audition for stuff? - Every now and then, every long enough we're a new batch of people has started working at the company that's sending me audition. They haven't seen my old auditions. - I got it. - And I had to door dash a ring light. 'Cause I don't know what happened to my ring light, my move. And so. And I'm like an adult. And I got walked up and someone was, I saw that it was delivered. Someone was taking my back edge and I had to go stop at the eat from taking my ring light. I was like, oop, that's mine. For my ring light. - You had to stop the seat. - I had to stop. - Pause, pause. - Who's ring light? - Who's ring light is that? - Pause. - That's my ring light. Pause off my ring light. Adult man with a ring light. - Was it like one of those packages where it like has the ring light like? - It's on, displayed on the package. - Yeah, it's like a package. - And what's suck? - Hi, that's my ring light. Pause off, please. Get your own. It was like a, I bought. - You can have it when I'm done. - You can't, 'cause what if I get another audition? - Right. - What if I get a, what if I get a call back? - Why don't you get your big break? - It could be my big break. - You'll need your ring light. - With my ring light that was a 12 inch ring light that barely sits on a desk. I don't know who this is for. It was from the children section of CBS that CBS now has a section of CBS that's the content creation section next to like hairbrushes and stuff. - I love CBS. - Yeah, CBS is great. But don't you think it's crazy to. - The content creation section? - That piece of it all. - I didn't know there was a content creation section. - And it's like positioned towards kids. - I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. - Did you hear there's a major at some school that's content creation or influencing? - That's what I was gonna say next. - Okay. - Shit's a job. - Totally. - It's a job. Did you see that? No influencers allowed sign at that place? - Yeah. - Do you have any thing to say? - Like, I was kind of, well, do you think? - I know what you're gonna say. - What? - No, I'm not gonna say it 'cause I don't want to be wrong. - I, it's obviously like, you can come in if you're an influencer, you just can't be influencing, right? Also, where was it? - Nantucket? - Yeah. - Which is like. - Like, Alex or I could go. She just couldn't be an active influence. She can't be under the influence. - Yeah. - I think that's totally fine. Like, the. - It was just like, oh, it was just like weird to do, I guess. - You see, where was the sign? - It was just like, for all of Nantucket, - No, it was in a one store. - It was in a basket store for bad, they sell baskets. Which like, the no influencer sign? - No, then just you like, no filming. - Well, I think that they don't want the group of, I don't really know. - I'm gonna be used by that intent. - But it works 'cause like, now I know about this basket store and Nantucket, you know. - That was their plan all along. - I don't think it was 'cause they doubled down. - Yeah, influencers, no influencers. - No influencers sign. - Oh, my gosh, I know her. She's from Houston. - Barks debate. I like, I'm totally forward if it's like, no filming, but then just say no filming. So that's, I think, where the confusion is for me. - Slow news day in Nantucket, I guess. - Was meant to be tongue in cheek. - Oh, was it? - Oh, it was meant to be tongue in cheek. That's weird. - Well, no, I think that. - I was like, no, it's legit. - It's like, no, it'd be really funny. And now influencers sign. - I mean, they, I don't, okay, I will say this. Like, I don't think it was tongue in cheek in the way of like, this will drive business because if you own a basket store in Nantucket, like, I really think that that might be just like, a passive fun hobby that you do because I don't think that like, I don't know anything about this store I'm just guessing, but you're probably not driving like, I own a storefront in Nantucket money from a basket shop. Is it a basket shop? Antique store, basket shop. Yeah, so I think that they probably like, don't need the marketing. So I think that no influencers thing is probably like an inside joke. - Do you think they were going for like, one of those like, home goods type of signs? Like, part of our hearts are happy now that we're together type of vibe. - My cup is over, my cup is overflowing, because it's Sunday and I have coffee. - Yeah, something like that. - No, I think that it was probably like a, they probably talk crap about like, influencers all the time, and they're like, wait, we should have signed out, that would be. - Or it's like, it reminds me of like, reminds me of something. Like, no, I don't know. - What? - I don't know. - What does your mind you have? - Like, it kind of reminds me of my beware of the cat, Dormat, but I don't know how to make the connection. Tongue and cheek. - Tongue and, I think that's the connection. - I don't know what tongue and cheek means. - It's like, it's glib. - What the hell? We've planted a zephrom. - Tongue and cheek. - No, don't go back, like, if, I hope Tim Dylan doesn't get ahold of that last like 30 seconds of the podcast, 'cause that's gonna, tongue and cheek means joke, or any of our funnier market discursion statement that is, I know that, I know this, but where did tongue and cheek come from? Like this? - Well good, 'cause you're like, (laughs) - I'm bad. - Yeah, I'm like, I've been bad, a bad girl. (laughs) - Yeah, 18th century facial desert, where people push their tongue into their cheek to signal, contempt, hidden mockery, or suppress the amusement. We should start doing that across the room at parties, like when we-- - No, any time we do a joke on this podcast, we shouldn't laugh anymore, we should go. No influencers. (laughs) - No, I'm losing a lot. - I hope they don't pile over our baskets. (laughs) Stay at my antique store. - Exactly. - You're joking. - It's so, it looks really good within your ball to do that. - Damn. - Hey guys, we wanna take a quick break to think a sponsor of today's episode, Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid. All-in-one place. - You're up from consultations, events, and experiences, showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business, get paid on time with professional, on-brand, invoices, and online payments, plus streamline your workflow with built-in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools. You can also get discovered fast with integrated Squarespace SEO tools. Every website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions and auto-generated site map and more, so you show up more often on search engines and bring in more of your ideal customers. - Squarespace also makes it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients. with video content on your website. Upload and organize your videos, create stunning video libraries, and even monetize your content by adding a paywall, perfect for online courses, exclusive tutorials, and premium workshops. Head to squarespace.com/bnc for free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use OfferCode Bnc to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. - Hey guys, I'm gonna take a quick break to think a sponsor of today's episode, Pop Chips. Now I just texted Izzy and Brooke last night. Was it last night that I texted you? - Maybe two nights ago. - Two nights ago, I started in-- - Oh, it was yesterday. - Was it yesterday? - Yeah. - Case like Pop Chips obviously sent us some Pop Chips and I was kinda like casually stacking on them and then I started, I began to get a little more real and I started to kind of do handfuls of Pop Chips into my mouth. To make a long story short, I put a whole bag of Pop Chips into my body in one sitting. I was in bed, I ate a whole bag of the sea salt and vinegar. Pop Chips, they're so, so good. - They're so good. - They're healthier than-- - I know that I don't feel bad, which is nice. - Feel guilt. - It's really nice. - It's nice. - They're made with avocado oil, they're super crunchy, have bold flavors and Pop Chips are popped potato chips so you don't get greasy fingers, which is important because I'm not touching my phone with sac cans. You know, we always keep it real with you and Pop Chips is doing an always real giveaway to experience Pop culture IRL at that awesome music fest. Go to popchips.com/brookincona to enter and you might just win a three day VIP trip for two. - Yeah, I'm actually going to that iconic awesome music festival. And imagine like you were there too all because you're just eating Pop Chips and having opinions. That's destiny, that's cinema. Never fried, always real, period. - Hey guys, we want to take a break to thank the sponsor of today's episode Skims. You've heard me say it before, but Skims really does just keep getting better. And recently, I've been wearing cotton everything, especially as the weather warms up and I just want to be comfortable. And when it comes to cotton basics, nothing beats skims. The Skims cotton jersey straight like pant is one of those pieces I keep reaching for. The fabric is incredibly soft, the stretch is just right and they're the perfect mix of comfortable and flattering. Whether I'm relaxing at home or heading out to run a few errands, they make getting dressed feel so easy while still looking cute. Shop Skims cotton and all of my favorite pieces at skims.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcasts in the survey and be sure to select our show and the drop-down menu that follows. - Don't let the door hit you in the way out. - Okay, so overall my take on that is, I guess I don't really care, how about you? - Oh, I couldn't get bless of a show. - Okay, cool. - Sounds good? - I was never gonna go. - Sounds good to me. - Never. - Oh, look at this picture of us. I genuinely miss when you had hair. - I have hair. - I miss it. It just feels like I just don't remember what you look like with hair. - What are you doing on your phone? - I'm looking up things to talk about. - Oh, I have stuff to talk about. - Oh, we'll do it. - Yeah, I wish I was in West Virginia. - Why? - It's one of my favorite places. - Yeah, I'm reading your book right now and you mentioned West Virginia like right away. - Isn't that scary? And I was kind of like, I don't believe West Virginia is real. And like when you have a plan, God-- - God. - God, when you have a plan, God be like-- (laughing) That was God when he was reading Phoebe. God when he was reading Phoebe, be like, "Oh, yeah." So he had God sent me to West Virginia and I loved it so much. - West Virginia was amazing. - It's just, it was nice to be really removed. - Yeah, if you find yourself in that part of the country, which is funny because remember when I was in, I was in (snores) Charlotte, North Carolina, and then I had to go to Charleston and I was driving Xavier and Maggie 'cause we had a show in Charleston. And I was driving and then two hours into the drive and I made them wake up early so we could spend the day in Charleston. Wake up early, we couldn't do the complimentary breakfast. I said, "Pee, pack your bags, we're leaving at nine. We leave, we drive two hours in Xavier at some. " And I was thinking to myself, I thought Charleston was on the water. Maybe it's on a lake. - Charleston's on on the water. - Sure is. - I think Charleston's pretty landlocked. - South Carolina? - Yeah. - Fully, it's on the coast. - Oh, no, I'm thinking of Charlotte. - Yeah. - Are you talking about South Carolina? - Sure. - I don't actually know. - I think it's North Carolina. - Charleston? Oh, South, sorry. - It's okay. - Um, so I'm, yeah, it's right there on the, it's on the water there. - It's on the water in South Carolina. - Yeah. So I was driving and I was like, "Huh, maybe it's on like a, maybe it's on like a bay and the bay comes all the way in." And then Xavier goes, "I don't know how to tell you this." He assumes I don't know. Well, we're in West Virginia and we were one hour away from Charleston, West Virginia. - Yeah. - Awesome. - I didn't get in your time to go there yet. - No, it wasn't. And I'm so, so glad we got the time that we did. It was so fun. We went to the New River Gorge National Park. - Preserve and preserve. - And preserve. - And preserve, I think. It's the newest National Park. - It's the newest National Park. It opened in 2020. - Is it the second longest river? Did I make that up? - It's a second. - It's behind the Nile or the second oldest? - Oldest. - Which is, yeah, 'cause it was ironic that it was called the New River Gorge. - Yes, it's the oldest one. - Yeah. - And we went whitewater rafting. - I miss it. I miss the rapid. - I just never pictured you on a whitewater rafting. - Everyone has been saying that like, how much do they have to pay you to like get you out here? I like that kind of stuff. It's just a matter of like, what I don't like is like, the active, like, like I don't like hiking. You know, I don't like exerting myself necessarily, but like I love like nature and water. - Sure. - You know, so whitewater rafting is good. My concern was just, if I was gonna be seasick or not, and you don't get seasick on the rapids. So I was fine. - I don't totally get how you get seasick on the ocean, but not the river. - I think it's just so slow and calm and then the parts that are like, whoa, are like three seconds. - Yeah. Well, you did a great job and we filmed a bunch of it and it'll be really interesting and some capacity with our family over the T-Mobile. - That's the thing about family is-- - It can look like anything. - It can look like anything and I found mine in West Virginia. - Yeah. - Yeah. - That was so much fun. - I've talked to you about anything for a long time. You know, I went to that wet. I went to Page and Tommy's wet. - Oh yeah. - In New York. - I didn't see any pictures of you. - Well, here's the thing. And I'll tell you why you didn't see any pictures of me. One, because as I was getting ready, I haven't worn my tux on a while. Somehow I have two tuxes and I have no idea when I-- - It's crazy that guys can just wear the same thing to every wedding. - It is crazy, but when you think about the fact that it was 98 degrees and girls are wearing like, a flowy dress and I'm in a three-piece suit and then I'm gonna tell you this next part. I have not put on my tux on a while. I have my body's changed a lot since the last time I put the tux on. I'm going, "Oh, maybe it's because I just had lunch." - No, you look great. - Thanks. - Do you think you bulked like muscle? - I'm talking about the pants though. My glutes are beginning a little bigger. I have been down to put on my socks. My crotch rips out, like I bust through the crotch. - I-- - Completely. So I go-- - It busted through the front of the crotch? - Yeah. What? - Nothing. - You think I can't bust out the crotch? - No, I did not say that. - The way that my thighs had filled up the pants busted out the crotch. So then I throw in my other tux pants. They are like skinny, like they're like fitted. You know, like I wear kind of wider like trousers. I forgot that my tux pant are like fitted. So I'm already like uncomfortable. I'm sweating so much from like my shins and my knees which like I didn't even know you could sweat there. That like they're sticking to me. And then I was sweating so profusely that I posted a video like I had to sneak away from the reception and go into this like the venue area and take off my jacket and say next to a fan and I posted it and everyone was like, we're really concerned for you. They were like, what's going on? 'Cause I looked so unwell in this thing. That's why there was no pictures of me 'cause I was sweating so much that I looked, I looked, I'm gonna show you. - That's my least favorite thing is when you like post something 'cause you're like, ha ha. Which I just like I did with my lip and then everyone's like, you need to go to the hospital. And I'm like, I was like, no. That's not what I meant. - We're really, really, really scared for you. I'm gonna show you. Here we go. I'm gonna put this on the, that's how tight my pants are. - Oh, you look like you just got out of the New River Gorge. - I'm soaking from head to toe. Look at when I look at my jacket for the first time. - You look handsome. - Thank you, that's really nice. But look at the, look at this. Oh. My tux my god, so like I felt discussing obviously it's like the hottest group of people ever anywhere like Pages learned is what like obviously. It's everyone's so so 10 out of 10 and I'm I just complete Last couple days on earth vibes from me and just like sick sweating on The ground on my knees inside the houses these classy folks walk by it. I'm like soaked head to toe That is tough. I'm sorry. Yeah people kept me but I would have been so jealous if that sweat because you know I can't work up a sweat like that People were like where are you and I was like I couldn't tell them. I'm in them. I'm in the portable potty Yeah, next to that they were pumping AC into it I'm like I was dealing with the smell because I was like I need to see be next to this flow You should bring a portable little fam with you it died you need to bring the shark um Yeah, the shellpill, you know, I love the chill pill. Yeah Highly recommend the chill pill if anyone if anyone needs it. Um Have you seen obsession? Yeah What why are you looking why are you acting like that because I talk I've I've talked I talked about it a ton I don't remember that was brook gone when I talked about obsession Oh, yeah, you were I think you were what did you say? What what are you gonna say what what what did you say? Well, I said it was a fabulous movie and people yearn for new faces and film and tv and I thought it was fabulous acting across the board and It didn't leave me feeling unsettled the night that I saw it but the more that I sat with it the more the one week later I was like oh, I'm like freaked out about that. It was making me feel sick I love adina adina adina what's your name? um Something something kind of similar, but not really Indie Yeah, Indie Navarrett. She is like so gorgeous and talented. Yeah, the acting was incredible. If I could conjure up my nightmare film it would be puke and dead cat And then and that was and that was that for me Not the her being stuck being obsessed with someone that she's like No, that honestly makes sense to me What they kind of lost me because so he wished for Her to love him more than anyone else. Yeah. How does that translate into what she became it was a dissent in the madness Yeah, I just like really didn't understand the pipeline of like I want her to love me till like her shitting on the floor and like throwing up and cooking a cat It was Just like you she lost love you more than anything like drives you to it Yeah, like it was like she was unable to like think or do it like love love Tim more than breathing love Tim more than like going to the bathroom love Tim more than But like why do you love someone so much that you have to cook their cat? I hope you never figure out that would just like never like I've I've had some pretty intense lemmerance I've just like it I wasn't relating to it's certainly not supposed to be a relatable film right um But I think that what you're feeling is the completely what like the intention of Behind it was like it should be like I just kept going like why is she doing that? Good Good good. Yeah, why is that girl beating that girl's face into her steering wheel until she knows that made sense That I'm like okay like jealousy. Yeah, jealousy on steroids like extreme obsession got that part I didn't get the like that made sense I just didn't get the like cooking the cat That you only lost her at the cat. Well, there was a lot of stuff. I was like why are you pooping? I love you see that's where I was like what how did we get here she would never pooped that She did something She did she did I think poop on the floor. I don't think she pooped I think she pooped and peed and puked I guess I'll just piss on the floor yet. Yeah, she had to wait for him to get home. She couldn't go to the bathroom Dogs do that all the time and they love you That's a good way that's a good way to put it just like pure Just unadulterated like unconditional love. I understood the taping of the door like yeah, I got that part It's just there were some things I was like I'm not following your thought process Which again as you said like good. Yeah, like don't put yourself in those shoes Because you'll fall Those are huge shoes because they're for plantar fasciitis um But yeah I wish I wanted I wanted to go and read it after but I'm I'm blocked from read it read it does not Enter my Is that guys I know but I like going on after movies. They need to make a new read it. That's like for people With jobs They need to make a new read it. That's like let's like kind kind to that kind read it Yeah, let's make kind read it where is Nathan fielder dumb starbucks and kind read it two things that will never exist I missed dumb starbucks. I miss Nathan Me too. I saw a picture of him recently Where he's a little older than I remember You know, he's like not as old as you would think he is really he's like pretty or like early 40s He kind of aged like they used to in the past. What do you mean like George just stands up You know like George just he's always had more of like a mature look You know even when he was like 20 would like power. Yeah, that's what my hair looked like when I looked in the mirror And saw that one gray hair. I saw Nathan fielder. Yeah, I get that in the mirror It's so like men really do get to like get better looking as they age He's funny. Yeah. Yeah Yes. Yeah Hot take hot take Nathan fielder's kind of like tongue in cheek What nothing I watch something else too Cool I need to go see the Odyssey so I can talk about it and I need to go see I'm gonna go see spider man I hear people crying in spider man and I forget that like Spider-Man is always sad. I never forget that like I don't know I guess I cried at remarkable remarkably bright creatures. What did you forget that like people take it? Like to oh no, it's really spider. It's really emotional Although I've never seen Tom Holland's I don't get again ever cried a superhero movie. You didn't cry when Uncle Ben died No, that's like to me like Titanic level Titanic is Uncle Ben as Martin Sheen's Uncle Ben passing Titanic is like what is it called fictional reality? Well, I've also never made it through Titanic But don't do not speak on my on my film, but Uncle Ben dying is like one of one of the worst things in the world I'll have to rewatch how are they still coming out with spider-Man's I don't get that either. I don't get I don't really know no way home. They're different Like spider-Man. No way home. Spider-Man. I'm heading there. Spider-Man on my way. Spider-Man forgot my keys Spider-Man doors unlocked. Spider-Man. Did I turn off my oven? That's funny. Come on. Let's genuinely funny. Thanks. And you should add that to your standup Write it down Why aren't you actually writing it down Just like what you didn't even laugh. No, I'm not like a big laugher But I really did think that was like smart and funny. Thanks. Well, we could clip it if we Do you want to clip it? No, I don't know if we should clip it But I think it was like you could workshop it. Oh my god. Well, I was workshopping it in real time I think you should take it and continue to workshop it and use it in standup Okay, let me try to get let me try to get no, no, no, no, no, no, because I want to clip it. No, because I want to clip it Okay, how did we start? It doesn't matter. I don't want to do it anymore. I lost it. Okay. I got turned off Just something to think about I'm not even I'm not even the mood in you. I miss laughing with you Yeah, me too. You're not yourself with your bald head. No, I've just been very tongue-in-cheek lately. Not really laugh mode Exactly. That's why I didn't you should have done that after I did I was thinking like oh, this is smart as you were going And I was actually thinking like I can't I want to join in with him you could have joined in I was I would have loved if you joined there I was trying my wheels were turning and nothing was coming out. You know what I think that we we don't do what sit with it for a second And like let our wheels turn I would have needed 35 minutes to think of it. No, no, you're very Pete you I'm not quick. You're witty. I'm not I'm witty, but I'm not quick. You're witty and quick and you're on your toes I'm witty, but I'm not quick. You're tongue-in-cheek. You're most definitely plantar fasciitis on your toes With your tongue-in-cheek and then and the shape of an L on your forehead So you like that's really quick But it's not funny like I bet You can be quick like all you want You can say whatever you want as fast as you want I thought that was funny. Oh, thanks. I appreciate it clip it I think you're an amazing guy. I There was like a full thread of people being like a fucking hate one Connor wants to clip something Like that's like I didn't know that people were oh my god. I don't always clip farming you guys lately Just kidding. Do you want to hear something really gross? Yeah, what I what I did to my lip Yeah, you know, I still can't see well, so if you get squeaky like, I'm warning you, this was not okay what I did. Basically, I don't know what happened. - Okay. - I woke up, I did get lip filler two weeks ago, but my lips were fine. So, and then I called the dermatologist and she said she thinks this is un-lipped filler related. I woke up with like a little blood blister on my lip. - That happens. - Which happens, I think, fine, whatever. I was, and I fucked with it, pretty bad. - Sure. - And now my entire face is a bruised lip and purple. That's the end of the story. I'm not, I'm just not gonna tell you how I fucked with it 'cause that's the squeamish part. - Did you like pop it like a pimple? - I stuck a safety pin in it. - Oh, broke. - But I sterilized it with alcohol. - I think you're supposed to sterilize it with a lighter. - I think. - Like, parents drop. - I think alcohol's fine. - They have a lighter in that little cabinet. - And like, obviously I shouldn't have done that. Y'all don't need to tell me that. Like, oh, I know, baby. I'm paying the price. - Yeah. - So, I was bleeding a lot. - Out of your lip? - Mm-hmm. - Okay. - And my problem is that I just, I'm a picker and I can't let things, I just can't let things be. I think that goes for physical things on my body and just situations. I can't let anything be ever. Everything needs to be handled as soon as possible. Like, I've never had a SCAB because a second, something starts to SCAB, it's gone. I've picked it. - They need to make SCABs. You can just, like, put on and pick off. Like, artificial SCABs. - A glue. - Yeah. - Yeah. - We already did that. - Yeah, I've been there. - When I got to my new apartment and I had a box of miscellaneous items and I had like six bottles of glue 'cause I forgot that I went through that phase in my adult life where I wanted to put glue on my hands. I was like, no, put the, get the glue, get it out. You don't need six things of Elmer's glue. Actually, I don't need glue for anything. What's the last time you used glue? - Genuinely Connor, I was looking for my glue yesterday. I shit you not. Period. - And if I was just being quicker, I'd be like, oh, I don't have anything. If you have your quick. - I don't know. I actually liked it because I said that I blanked. - I'm a slower girl. - Muhammad Ali. - That was a compliment. - That wasn't, yeah. - That wasn't quick. - Yeah, but it was funny. - Well, that was in reference to a different video. - What was it? Okay, so I didn't get. - I don't really know what the clip is, but the tweet. - Name a woman? - No, the tweet was, it was Kamala Harris. And so the caption is, me when chat GBT is down and someone asks me my name. (laughs) - Were you laughing at what I said or your sneeze? - My sneeze. - First sneeze is funnier than what I just said. - No, that's funny. I forget what you said. - Me? - I told you I'm a slower girl. - I'm one of those girls that's a bit slower. - I'm slower than you might think I am. - Me when chat GBT is down and someone asks me my name. And it's Kamala Harris going. - That, that, yeah. - Muhammad Ali. - Okay, that's funny. That's funny, that's funny. - I like it. - I like it, I like it, it's topical. - Oh, Muhammad Ali. (laughs) - Yeah, that's funny, that's funny. - That's funny. - Like the, I think the people that come up with those kinds of captions are the backbone of our society. - Like, what's that girl's name, that video that we watched last week? Where she's, she's got a Karina. - Sorry, I think I'm allergic to your bald. (laughs) - Don't say that. You need to be sweet, be sweet. Say one sweet thing. - I have said so many sweet things to you. I told you you look handsome in that sweating video. I told you your body's been looking amazing. I told you you're funny and quick. - Say something to them. - I told you that, I think you're a really good guy. I can't say anything sweet about your head. - You need to say something sweet about my bald head, Brooke. - I don't like it. It makes me feel weird. You knew I wasn't gonna, you knew, you did it to unsettle me. - No one did it. - Did you expect me? - No one, I'm not bald to, I'm not bald to convenience you or inconvenience you. - I didn't think you were. - This was never, my baldness is not to impair you in any way. I'm exploring my body, isn't it? - You did it to get a jarred reaction from me. - No, Brooke, I didn't do it for them. - For them. - But I know, in no world, did you think, Brooke's gonna think I look really good. - Brooke, I didn't, again, I didn't do the, I didn't do the bald head for you. - I just didn't think that you'd have this adverse of a reaction. - I don't, you knew, I told you, I'm not. - To the bald community, I'm so, I didn't know, I did not know. - It's the Cube, it's the shiny, I've had an experience of someone in my life with a shinier baldor head. It's just, it left a negative taste in my mouth. Left a bitter taste in my mouth. I can't speak on him right now. - It was a ham. - It was like a teacher, like type of person, who I just, just didn't care for. - History? - No. - No. I'm also not gonna say 'cause it was a really narrow noun. (laughing) And it's not even like, it wasn't even like anything happened. It was just like, the only thing that I associate with this person is his bald shiny head. Like that is all he is kind of. You can't be a person with a bald shiny head and have that not be your whole thing. Unless, like, unless you're like, you really have to be like. - Bald is beautiful and bald does not have to be, you don't, I don't mean to be bald as bald so big as I'm being, and like, I am, but I have no problem with like bald with like a little bit of something. And there are sometimes people with this types of baldness, totally, actually, I think we should delete all of my, - No, it's okay. - No, now I'm getting scared 'cause like, some people like, medically have to be that bald and that's fine. - Bro, you're so fine. - No, and that's completely fine. Like, I'm not talking about it. I'm also talking about like, what you've done, like, this creepy man type of situation. - I'm not a human. - You love bald women. Oh, I wanna go on record. I love bald women. I have no problem with people that are bald for all different types of reasons. It's this archetype of creepy man that you're going for that I don't like. - I'm not going for creepy man. In fact, I looked up fun prosthetics and this was the least creepy option. - What were the others? - Like, like, half men, half fruit bat. - I just, not only feel like I'm being a little bit ghastlet. - Brook! - I don't feel like it's insane for me to look at you right now and be like, ew. - I genuinely like, me and Izzy were like, oh my gosh, I like kind of like this on me. - Izzy. - It grew on me. - It grew. - It did. - You have to bald people. Like, you have that and I think maybe sitting with me for the next couple of hours today will like help ease you through that because brook, I'm your friend, I'm your neighbor. - It doesn't feel like it. - You gotta be sweet. It's this type of person and baldness that you're embodying. Maybe if I would've put on like glasses. - I think that would've made it a fuck ton worse. - Yeah, I'm just me here with. - When do you think you'll take it off? - I don't know, I really, do you think you'll wear it all day? - I wanna drive with my windows down by bald, bald head. - You're not gonna feel it. You're not gonna feel the wind on your scalp. - Yeah, I think it will. - No, you won't because that's not your scalp. Do you see what I mean? Why are you touching your toe like that? - I don't know. Jesus. - Well, now I feel bad. - No, it's fine. I'm just saying like, if I ever end up bald, that's gonna be unfortunate that like. - I think you're an amazing guy in so many ways and you're not gonna, you won't end up this bald because this is not the person you are. - Well, I'm telling you right now, if I'm balding at all, I'm getting rid of my hair. - Yeah. - No, it's just like, it's also, please don't forget, you have a mustache. - Is it mustache on sitting bald and mustache and like, you're literally doing lovely bones. - I am not doing lovely bones. I'm if anything, Mr. Clean. - Can we look at Mr. Clean? - He doesn't have a mustache. - But like the thing about Mr. Clean is like, what's his whole thing? Like his whole personality is being bald. - No, he's like, how are you Mandela? He's like a germaphob. - Oh, I guess I don't think of how he Mandela is just being bald. - Yeah, can we look at how we? Like Mr. Clean is like shiny, 'cause yeah, I guess that is his whole. - I feel totally fine with how he. Yeah, he, that doesn't affect me negatively at all. - Oh, look at him with hair. Wow, he looks like a blue fur. - He looks great. He looks like someone that I know. - I know who he looks like. - Who? - Remember that guy that did, Adam Melcher, kind of. - Oh, I could see that. - Do you know that I went to the doctor to chat about my bald symptoms? And I was older than the doctor? - That sucks. I remember you talking about that this weekend. - Yeah. - Yeah, there's just a list of people that we should never be older than. - I should never be older than a doctor. I don't want to be older than an apple genius bar employee. Do you have this list on your phone already? I have a couple. Okay. I don't want to be older than my water rafting guide. No, that sucked. And I don't want to be older than an Olympian. Olympian I'm totally fine with. I don't want to be older than a professional athlete. I understand that they're young. The reason I don't want to be older than a professional athlete is because, in my mind, I'm like, I still have time to do that. Yeah. I sometimes, every once in a while, I'll get hit with those TikToks that are like, Tony Morrison wrote her first book when she was like 50 and then just all these accomplishments that these amazing people made, like later in life and they always find me right when I need them. I'll send you one later. That's because your phone is tracking your data. Yeah. I have one more thing to say before we go. Yeah. It's possible. It slipped my mind. Really? Yeah. Did you see that this first brother just started a podcast or maybe just cool? I think it's just Dylan. It's just Dylan. Yeah. I remember what I was going to say. I saw this TikTok that was this girl interviewing these younger boys. Like, do you think it's possible for a woman to be attractive over 30? And they also know fabulous. And I'll leave you with that. I hope you have a good day and sorry about being so harsh. And I hope that when this comes out, I'm still alive. Me too. But if I'm not, like, it wasn't meant to be. I hope when this comes out, I'm still bald. Wait, now I'm like horrified that I'm manifested something bad in the space. Everything is going to be good. I'm going to be fine. And you'll be okay because you have to. I'll be okay because I literally have to be. And I've done things that have, I've done things that have made me feel the same way. I've done so many nerve-wracking things and I've come out the other side. I'm stronger than I think I am. I'm stronger than I think I am and I can do hard things and I will do them. And I'm going to have my chomp because my stomach's curving. Okay. All right. Thank you guys for listening. Love you. We're going to the bonus. Hope you have fun. I can't remember what happened today. This cap is pretty tight. It's cutting off the blood flow to my ears and to nose and mouth throughout. Goodbye. Thank you.