Earth Angels Among Us

Hello everyone and welcome to the Kindness Matters podcast. I'm your host, Mike Rathbun. On this podcast, we promote positivity, empathy and compassion. Because we believe that kindness is alive and well, and there are people and organizations that you may not have heard of in the world, making their communities a better place for everyone. And we want you to hear their stories. On this podcast, we talk about matters of kindness, because kindness matters. Hey, welcome to the show everybody. I so appreciate it. You are listening to the Kindness Matters podcast, and I am your host, Mike Rathbun. I appreciate you. I appreciate those of you who joined today. You made that active choice to listen into a podcast about kindness, and you wanted to be inspired. And I appreciate all of that that you're doing. Thank you so much for doing that. Make sure to check out the show notes for all of my guests' links after we're done here. And also, for the link to sign up for our newsletter, comes out once a month, full of inspiring and uplifting stories, and who doesn't need that in their email box once a month, right? So today on the show, we're joined by Kate Tyrode, who is the author of "Chicken Nugget Girl and Other Midlife Traumas," such an amazing title for a book. That is so cool. Kate is proud for mom and wife, and she's living her best life while balancing her artistic side with her spreadsheet side. When she's not creating worlds on the page, she's painting, juggling, trapezing. We'll get into that, I'm sure, and laughing with her husband. Her charm and wit are just what the doctor ordered for this episode as we share a connection through kindness. By the way, "Chicken Nugget Girl" is her first book, but true to form, she's already working on the sequel, whether anyone asked her to or not. Welcome to the show, Kate. Thank you so much for being here. Mike, thank you so much for having me. It's an absolute pleasure to be on your show today. Thank you. When you reached out on Facebook to be a guest, and I went to your profile, of course I'm stalking, right? Because that's what we do. We stalk. And I saw the book and the title of the book, and I'm like, "That is the quirkiest thing I have ever heard of." So talk to me about, so the main character is Mallory, correct? Correct, yes. Mallory is the main character. Okay. Percentage-wise, how much of Mallory is Kate? In the "Chicken Nugget Origin" story, which is the first portion of the book, it's about 65%, kind of based on my journey, how I wrote the book. And then there are subsequent stories after that, that some of them are 85%, 90%, none of them are 100%. But yeah, there are some of the books later, some of the chapters later on in the book that are pretty much as it happened. So not a lot of embellishment needed to happen, not a lot of creative license needed to happen. It was just telling the story exactly how it was. There we go. There we go. Mallory, in the book, she kind of feels like she's stuck, right? In her job, in her life. Did you feel that way when you started writing this, or could you just empathize with that person that Mallory was? I don't want to get you in trouble, so you're still working. No, no, I am still working, but everybody knows about the book. No, I think it's kind of a universal thing, especially as we get older, you know, we have these dreams when we're younger, and then adult life kind of settles then. You know, you have a mortgage or a car payment, whether it's children or not, and you kind of have to set your dreams aside a little bit. And you just kind of accept that's your life, and at some point I said, you know what, I still have this dream, and I'm going to follow this dream, whether it stays a dream or it turns into a nightmare, I don't really care. Yeah, but you gotta be, really. Go ahead. Yeah, no, I mean, it was like, I just took that leap of faith. I said, you know what, I'm going to do this for myself, and if it succeeds, then fantastic. If not, I can say that I did it, and you know, I can check that off my list. Yeah, because that's the thing, right? I mean, you could sit and wonder your whole life if you had ever done that, or you could actually try it, and like you said, you know, if it failed, it failed, but you at least gave it your all. Yeah, I had a very wise person once tell me, you'll never regret what you do, you'll regret what you don't do. And that always sticks with me, and so I was like, you know what, this is one of my dreams, I've done a lot of things in my life, but this is the one that I really wanted to just check that box off of, so yeah, that's why I did it. Oh, for sure, and it turned out wonderfully, you're getting a lot of praise for this book. Thank you. And it's available on Amazon, among other places, right? Yes, it is. All the major platforms, Barnes & Noble, is all of that, so yes. Yeah, we'll have the, well, we could put all the links really in the show notes, I mean. That'd be amazing. We could do that. We'll make that happen. But yeah, okay, now we mentioned trapezing. Yes. So in your bio, on your web page, your website, you talk about, what did you call yourself? Professional, was it a professional trapezer? No. No, I'm a self-proclaimed master puppeteer. Oh, man, that's what it is. There it is. Oh my goodness. And a juggler. And a juggler, and a trapeze. I like all the circus arts. So how did you, how did you get end up there? And so I'm guessing you don't have like a barn or something where you trapeze in the barn? No, no, so there's a place, I live in St. Louis, Missouri, and there's a trapeze and silk place here that I wish everybody knew about. It's called Bumble Shot Aerials, and you can go and they will teach you the techniques of trapeze, which you think it's easy. It's not. Just the rules that are around it are so rigid. Just, you know, and just how to get up on the bar itself is a structure. But I got lucky, like my fourth or fifth lesson there, St. Louis Magazine happened to show up. And my best friend Helen and I got featured in St. Louis Magazine for trapeze. Nice. Nice. So that kind of was the catalyst for us to, you know, continue wanting to do it. And, you know, we've had breaks that we've taken in between, you know, just because life gets in the way. But yeah, it's a really fun community. So cool. And the people who go there, are these just like frustrated circus performers that, you know, like, I wanted to chase my dream of being a trapeze artist or a juggler or a clown or what have you. But this is the next best thing. Yeah, I think there's some that are living that, you know, circus dream, you know, now that circuses aren't a thing. But a lot of people, it's a great workout, and it's physically demanding. That's what I was going to ask. Is it mostly upper body strength or is it like whole body? It's core. It's your core because everything, you know, you're lifting yourself up, you're doing all these moves, and you have to have that core strength in there. So obviously, you know, having arm strength helps. But yeah, a lot of it's core work. So when people start doing it, I think they're a little shocked, you know, and realize, oh, I'm not as in shape as I thought. I say that every single day. So yeah, it's just a really fun kind of thing to do. And, you know, if people have that ability to do it somewhere in their community, I recommend it. I don't, you know what, I don't even think there's a place like that around Minneapolis that just in the Twin Cities metro, I may surprise myself. There may be, you know, I could go on afterwards and Google trapeze work Minneapolis and find. You might. I started it when I lived in Rhode Island. I went up to Boston to like the circus arts there. And so. Well, so you were really serious about the circus arts? I, well, I mean, I wasn't going to like, you know, run away and join the circus. I'm a little old for that. We'll make a better story if you have. But yeah, I mean, I always wanted to learn like tight water and things like that. So there, there's a place, I don't know if it's still there. It's been many years since I lived in New England. But you could learn all those circus arts, trapeze and clowning. And so cool. It was just really fun. Yeah, it's just kind of a different thing to do. And if you're not into exercise, traditional exercise, it's kind of a really good way to do it. Wow. Yeah. So do you, speaking of Rhode Island, are you familiar with Block Island? I'm very familiar with Block Island. I have an ancestral history to that place. Oh, no, that's amazing. I have never been. My, one of my great, great, great, great grandfathers was John Rathbun. And he was one of the 16 original purchasers. Oh my gosh. There we go. I'm in the presence of greatness. Hardly. But okay, we'll go with it. We'll take that and we'll go with it. Wow. Yeah. So I've never been, my wife was going to take me for my 60th birthday. And then COVID. Right. And I still haven't been. So, but yeah. Block Island is beautiful and Point Judith is where you take the ferry from. That's where you take the, yeah. That is one of my favorite places in Rhode Island. I lived in Cranston, which is by Providence. And, um, yeah, so I recommend go. You will not be disappointed for sure. It'll be on the bucket list. There you go. Right up there with trapezing. Oh, so that is, and since this is a wait, okay, wait, I've thought of something else. I want to ask you mentioned that the origin story of Mallory was 65% you. But other stories, is that what we can look forward to in sequel books? Yes. Yes. I'm about 75% done with my second book. And they're easily digestible stories. So they're probably, you know, chapter chapter. Okay. Your girl has the origin story as the beginning of the book. These are just going to be like an anthology of Mallory stories. And I know. I'm sorry. Go ahead. No, I'm going to say, and they get more ridiculous because my life is ridiculous. No way. I noticed that you mentioned your friend Helen. There's also a friend of Mallory's in the book named Helen. Is that that? Yes. So Helen is based on my Helen. But the Helen in my book is how I see my best friend. She's got a very professional, high profile job. And she's very prevents very straight laced. Yeah. She's been with her for 17 years. And I know that she's that punk rock girl. You know, she, she'll wear the leather jacket when she's around me and things like that. So she's got a tattoo. What was your Helen happy with her portrayal in the book? She was ecstatic. She, she asked me about it. And she's like, why did you write me like this? I'm like, because that's exactly how I see you, Helen. You're kind of the badass best friend who keeps me in line. And because I'm kind of weird, crazy and flaky. And she's the, you know, the anchor for me. Yeah. So that's, that's how I wrote her. And she was, she was very happy with it. Cool. Cool. That's so fun. Okay. So let's talk now about segue. Yes. About kindness because it's been a rough couple of months, hasn't it? For kindness. For sure. And I'm not even sure where to go with this because I, as somebody who talks a lot about kindness, I see the world today. I see our country today. I'm like, I can't believe anybody's even listening to the show. First of all, because it doesn't seem like anybody's interested in kindness. Does that make sense at all? It does. It's, it's hard to find those kind moments or those, those good news stories, you know, that lift you up and a lot of it is just really negative. So when you find something that's heartwarming and touches your soul, that's, that's what really gets you. Yeah. And I think the, the whole premise of this show was, I know you're hearing a lot of bad stuff in social media and the news, but look, here are kind people and they're out there every day. Absolutely. And I don't even know, I mean, I'm still finding people like yourself, kind people, but I'm questioning whether people want to see that. I think I'm probably wrong judging from my numbers. I think a lot of people need more kindness and I think they're seeking it out because we kind of have that, that dark, you know, that hole in our hearts lately. You know, there's so much negativity and we, I think the majority of us are good people and we share that. I agree with you. I think that the vast majority of us don't care who somebody voted for. Don't care, you know, what color your skin is, who you worship or who you, who you love. They're just going to be kind. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that kind of gets lost. It does. We're getting, we're getting asked to choose sides or to choose our factions and it's, you know what? I mean, I'm a Gen Xer. We grew up, hey, everybody's equal. Nobody's any better than anybody else. And to have this, like we have to choose, you know, you can just choose to be kind. That's the best thing you can do. Yeah. For sure. Gen X, talk about badass. It's funny, I was doing, what's that? I said, we don't take anything from anybody. No, you don't take crap from anybody. I was talking to a woman months ago, last year, and she worked with all of the generations. And basically it was a talk about work. And she was talking about how the silent generation, and like, whoa, whoa, whoa, time out. The silent generation is still working because my mom was silent generation, right? And I'm a boomer. So I'm like, silent generation is still working? Yeah. And apparently they are. But the silent generation has things in common with Gen Z. What? Really? Because silent generation grew up during the depression, right? You didn't throw anything away. If something broke, you fixed it to use it again. And Gen Z is totally into the thrift stores, the upcycled clothing and this. I think there are ways that we could come together that we have not even fathomed yet. That's amazing. I didn't think about that. Right? Yeah, I was just, I was blown away. First of all, the silent generation is I think 28 to 49, 29 to 46. Yeah. And my mom was born at 31. So I'm like, they're in their 80s. Yeah, they're in their 80s. And yeah, so yeah, I think it's just easier sometimes to be angry all the time than it is to be kind. And that boggles my mind. That's got to be so exhausting. It must be. You would think it would be. I mean, because all it would take would be for you to take your grumbly old butt and open the door for somebody. Yeah. To say good morning or, you know, whatever the case may be, just the smallest act of kindness can make somebody's day. And I think if people were kind, we wouldn't be so angry all the time because you can't be angry when you're being kind. Right? Nope. Not at all. Yeah. So, and I know that you had talked about, and I actually, this was another reason. You said when I asked for guests, you said, "I have an absolutely touching story reinforcing the human spirit and kindness towards others. I like to call them Earth Angels, and I need to hear about these people for my own sanity." Yes. So I actually have two Earth Angel stories. But the one that I had in my head when I first contacted you happened to me when I was 17. And I was flying back from visiting my boyfriend in Iowa City, and I was taking a connector flight from St. Louis, Missouri, to Cape Charter, which is where I went to college. And this was 1993. My parents didn't know I went. So, you know, this is all very secretive. And I was. But I was 17, and I had no money. There was no cell phones. There was nothing. And I had missed my connecting flight. So it's about two hours from St. Louis to where my college was. It was about nine o'clock at night, and I'm sitting in the baggage claim alone. But I'd been to St. Louis one time, you know, crying, didn't know what I was going to do. And this gentleman comes up to me, and he asked me if I was okay. And I said, "I am absolutely not okay." And he's like, "Is there something I can do for you?" I was like, "Well, are you going to Cape Charter?" And he's like, "As a matter of fact, I am." So it turns out he was a shuttle driver for students going from St. Louis to Cape Charter, Missouri. And he had an extra seat. And it was, you know, usually it was 80 bucks to take this trip. Which, back in 1993, that was a lot of money. That's, yeah. I didn't have a quarter to call my roommate, you know. It's hate is referencing a time when there were things called cell phones. Right, pay phones. If you're unfamiliar, yes. So he told me that he was a BART driver, and I said, "I don't have the money to have you take me home." And he's like, "Listen, I have an open seat." He's like, "You can come. You can sit up front with me." He's like, "You're fine." He's like, "There's going to be other students in the van with us." So, you know, my dad, who's a police officer, said never get in a car with strangers. He didn't say anything about a van. He didn't say anything about a van. He wasn't offering me candy, so I thought I was okay. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. So we're walking through the terminal, and he's just like, "Have you eaten today?" He's like, "Can I get you something?" So he, you know, bought me dinner, like, you know, go to go McDonald's and a root beer and some snacks for the road. And he just put me in the front seat, and he's just like, "Hi, this is Kate. She's going to be driving with us." And he had a blanket that he put around me in the front seat. And he's like, "We're going to take care of you, and we're going to get you home." And I was in awe because I was like, "This gentleman doesn't know who I am. I have no money. He's just doing this because he can." And we dropped the other riders off at their dorms and such like that. My dorm was the last dorm that we dropped off with, and he gave me a quarter as I was getting out of his van. He's like, "Always keep this quarter with you so you can always make a call for somebody." Just retelling the story makes me want to cry. But his name was Bob, and I never saw him again. I asked a lot of my students who took part, and they're like, "We don't know who Bob is." But there were other students in the van with us, and we dropped them off. And so, yeah, so I still have that quarter to this day. If somebody listening knows of Bob who drove the shuttle bus from Rose Airport to Cape Girardeau, reach out, because we absolutely have to know. And was he older? Is he maybe still alive? He was probably in his fifties, so... And that was like 30, over 30 years ago, right? Yeah, it was 30 plus years ago. Oh wait, 93, that was just 10 years ago. Oh God, I wish that was the same. Oh my gosh. So how cool, and you know what, he could have very easily just have seen you. Typical, you know, typical moody kid. Yeah. I don't know if emo was a thing back then. I was very grungy. I just missed you. Yeah, the Duck Martin is the plaid skirt, the purple hair. I was rocking it, yeah. Yeah, and he just looked at you and went, "Yeah, typical moody kid." And just walked on by. But he took the time to stop and ask if you were okay. Yeah, I mean, just, it was... I can't even explain it. One of the most kind things I've ever heard happen to me, because he didn't want anything. He didn't ask for anything. He was doing it just because he could and for the sake of kindness and to help somebody out who needed it. Yeah. To me, that's what an earth angel is. You know what, I agree. I totally agree. That's absolutely the best definition of earth angel that I've ever heard. Yeah, and I always keep a little bit of Bob in my heart and I keep that quarter in my wallet for all these years. Bob's quarter. Bob's quarter, never spend it. Never. And you know what? Yeah, you could maybe pass it on to somebody in your family or whatever. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, so that's my big earth angel story. Yeah, hopefully Bob's out there somewhere. Wow, and you mentioned when we were talking offline, you said something about you're not even sure if one of the people that you were thinking of was... Is that the person you think may or may not have been real? No, there's another story. Wait, there's more. There is. There's another story which is famous amongst me and my friends in my circle. And I still don't know to this day if this person was real or an angel. And it wasn't Bob. It's not the Bob story. Okay. I'm going to... Do you want to hear it? I'll go for it. Yes, absolutely. So, my late husband and I, we were driving home from dinner. And something happened in the road and he ended up putting the car up on the center median and kind of cracked the axle in my car. I was very unhappy. So, we were about two blocks from my house and we managed to get the car into a Walgreens parking lot. And I'm yelling and screaming. And I'm trying to change the tire and he wasn't able to because he had an illness. So, I'm just frustrated. Yeah, understandable. It's late. It's like 11.30 at night. There's really nobody on the road. I'm just like, we're just going to have to leave my car here and walk home. And swear to gosh, all of a sudden we hear, "Johnny angel, how I love you." And this turquoise and white 1950s Chevy-esque pulls into the Walgreens parking lot. And this guy gets out, looks like your quintessential greaser. He had his jeans rolled up. He had the white socks, the black shoes. And I thought he was coming from a car show or something. It's what I thought. That's really what I thought. And he's just like, "Ma'am, do you need some help?" And I'm like, "We do." And he's like, "I'm going to go ahead and change your tire, but it looks like your axle is cracked." He's like, "I hope you aren't too far." And I'm like, "Well, no, we just left two blocks away." He's like, "All right, what I'm going to do is we're going to change your tire. And then I'm going to follow you home, make sure you get home, and then you go ahead and call a shop." And so he's changing the tire. And I elbowing my husband, I'm like, "You better give him some money." And he goes up to this young man and he's just like, "Hey, I want to thank you." He's like, "No, sir." He's like, "I cannot accept any money for this." He's like, "This is just something we do." And he gave us the name to a shop. And I was like, "Okay." So he follows us home. We get in our driveway and he waves at us and he goes on his merry way. Well, we tried to call the shop the next day. That shop hadn't been there for like 60 years. I know, I know. Both my husband and I were looking at each other and we were like, "What just happened?" I was like, "Because we both saw him. We both shook his hand. We heard the music. We touched his car. He changed my tire." I was like, "Was that an angel?" So we call it the Johnny Angel story. Whoa, because he came rolling in Johnny Angel. That's so funny. The only thing that would have benefited had been the song "Earth Angel." Right? Yeah. That might have been a little too on the nose, right? Right. A little too obvious. Yeah. But that was about 10, 12 years ago. And I still, every time I drive by that intersection. Wow. I'm just, there's no way we would have made home. It's always when you least expect it, isn't it? It is. I know, I was visiting my mom in Colorado years ago and we were driving her car. And there's a road in Denver. I can't think of the name of it now. It's a very busy road, very main artery. And all of a sudden her car just dies. Right? And I managed to get it into the left turn lane of this very busy road. This very busy street. But it would not. I could not get it to start again. People, and of course you got a green arrow, right? And people are roaring up on your back end. You're just like, "Yeah." And you're certain you're going to get creamed and my flashers running and all this stuff. And I, my mom's no help. So I managed to push it off of the road finally. And I'm just sitting there trying to figure out, I am not mechanically inclined. I don't think anybody who knows me will tell you this. All of a sudden this pickup kind of slowly passes us and then pulls over and he goes, "Do you need help?" Toda's back home. And it was not a short distance. Toda's back home. We tried to give him money. He's like, "Can't accept that." Like, these are amazing people in this world that just appear when you most need them, isn't it? Absolutely. Do you think? Yeah, absolutely. I mean, they, those are the definitions of our financials. Amen. It was so nice having you on today, Kate. I cannot, Kate, wait. I cannot wait, Kate, for your next book. I wish you so much luck and thank you so much for sharing these stories. I know I'm uplifted. I'm inspired to #BeTheChange and thank you for that. Oh, well, thank you. It was an absolute pleasure being on here and being able to talk to you and share these stories because I think we need more of that. Yeah, it's absolutely worth it. All right, I will, I will talk to you soon and take care. Have a great one. Thank you. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Kindness Matters podcast with my very special guest, Kate to Road. I hope this episode left you feeling a little easier, a little more hopeful about the state of the world that we all share. If you enjoyed this episode, please feel free to tell your friends, your family, your coworkers, everybody you know about us. Also, don't forget to subscribe to our newsletter for more uplifting content. It's free and there's a link to sign up in the show notes. You've been listening to the Kindness Matters podcast. We will be back again next week with a brand new episode and we would be honored if you would join us again. Until then, remember, kindness matters and so do you. [Music]