E080 - Powerful Flirting Habits to Create S*xual Chemistry With Any Woman (easy to follow) | Blaine Anderson

Approaching women, it doesn't really matter what you say. It's more about how you say it. What you say next and being able to hold a conversation is going to be more important than those first words themselves. Layne Anderson is a dating coach, helping men improve their dating skills and attract meaningful relationships. If you take every rejection personally and a hit to your ego, you're not going to get very far meeting women in real life. And if a woman doesn't want you, then it's like, OK, her loss. We can agree that environments or situations where you will maximize your options. The finding the right type of girl. Yeah. So first of all, I tell people all the time if you are struggling to get second dates, look for these signs. You've got yourself in this environment and then somebody takes your fancy. Yeah. What are some of the best ways you can go about approaching them? So step by step, I love if you can-- What's up guys and welcome back to First Things First. We have a special guest today in Austin, Texas, Blaine, Anderson. Hi, thanks for having me. So you are a dating coach. True. You specialize in helping men in the dating process and finding a partner or actually helping people who have already found a partner and you're helping their existing relationship. My specialty is helping men date better. So it's the dating process to find a partner. A lot of what I talk about in teach will also help in the relationship phase, but that's not primarily what I'm focused on. How did you get into this? I'm a good warrior. Yeah, I kind of stumbled into it. I worked in the travel industry prior to 2020. And then when the pandemic hit, people stopped traveling. So my business stopped having business. And I had always loved talking about dating and I was constantly finding myself helping my guy, friends, with their dating app profiles and giving them dating advice. So my boyfriend at the time, who's now my husband, suggested, why don't you take everything that you are telling these guys individually and compile it into a course? So that is when my first and most popular course, my dating master class was born in 2020. And there's clearly a demand for it. Yeah, I've had it with 6,000 clients. So it's doing quite well. And I think that just illustrates the time we're in and that people are really struggling, both men and women with dating. Yeah, yeah, I don't think it's, I don't know actually, I feel as though men are definitely struggling, but it's certainly not easy for women as well. I feel like men might struggle with the the actual beginnings of dating and choosing someone. But where women are involved, I think it's actually finding a decent guy. Yeah, yeah. I think you're spot on men and women, both face challenges, dating, but they're different challenges. Men, their primary struggle is how do I stand out? How do I get women to notice me, find a woman I'm excited about and have her return to interest? Where women's struggle is how do I decide who is going to be a good partner through the smoking mirrors? How do I pick the right guy? So why do you think the dating scene at the moment has got to the point that it's up? I think there's a lot of contributing factors that make dating more challenging today. I think, you know, I mentioned I started this during my, I started my business during the pandemic. I don't think that helped. I think people were very isolated, loneliness spiked, people's anxiety, social anxiety increased, became even more accustomed than we already were to relying on technology to communicate and to get things done. And that has really carried over since then. And I find that people who rely on technology, technology is great, but a lot of my clients rely on it in their day-to-day lives a lot and work maybe in a technology field. And those skills and that interaction doesn't translate to dating well. So I think that's part of it, just technology, pandemic. And then a lot has changed really rapidly. You know, we've evolved from, if you look at human history as a whole, like how long humans have been around, we have been even using the written word for a blip of how long we've been communicating. And things have progressed very quickly. Now you're expected to communicate in 150 characters on this little black box. Like that's tricky. And people are judging each other for how they communicate there and you're supposed to represent yourself and find a partner that way. That's really hard and it's not intuitive. - If you had any previous experience with dating apps. - Me? Yeah, I used dating apps briefly. There was a point in my life where I lived abroad. I was living in a new country every month for two years. And so I didn't have community in those places. And so I would date online and just meet people through dating apps then. - Yeah. I haven't really used a huge amount, but like you said, when, if I have been traveling, and I've wanted to meet people, when I've been in this new environment, where I don't know anyone, I think it can be great. But whenever I've been living in a place for a longer period of time, I don't really feel as though I need to use them. - Yeah. - Do you feel like there's any in particular which stand out? Like which ones would be better to download because from what I've experienced in different regions, different apps tend to be like the thing. - Yeah, it's spot on. So it really depends on where you are. Different cities, different countries. Certain apps are more popular. And you really wanna use the app that the most people are using because it's a numbers game. And that's how I feel about apps generally is how you described using them is the best method. You know, it's good to know how to use a dating app to have a good profile, to fire it up as a way to meet more people. But if you are relying on online dating as the means to your dating life, you're probably not gonna have a really great dating life. You need to get comfortable approaching women, meeting people in person, building social circles in community. You're just gonna have better options. That way. - If you had, I think over the past few years, the valuation of Bumble has gone down quite drastically. Quite familiar. - I think it's illustrative of the fact that people are sick of dating apps. People are spending a lot of time on them, but they aren't necessarily satisfied with them. But they're using them because they don't see another means of meeting people. A lot of people are really busy. So they don't necessarily know how else to meet people. But yeah, people aren't satisfied with them. And they haven't mixed it up in a really long time. Like, dating apps have really remained the same. You know, they might come out with new features or different things to use, but the fundamental swiping chatting, maybe going on a date is really tiresome. I think it's like, on hand, I believe this stat is like, you swipe on approximately 50 people before ending up with one date. Like, that's a lot of swiping. - Yeah. - I had, this is always the problem with dating online. The whole catfish thing. - Oh yeah. - So I had an interesting situation. - Oh, that's your answer. - Once one of the time. I think it was in Tokyo, I was in Japan. And obviously I wanted to see if anybody was around 'cause the problem is, when you go to a place like Tokyo, nobody speaks English. - Yeah. - So the-- - Really in Tokyo? - No, no, no. - I've asked some people, but most of the people who are in Tokyo, the Japanese people who don't speak English. So that's a bit of a problem if you're wanting to use the old school method of going out to teach people. Because nobody understands what you say. And I've been in a situation before where I've tried to go on a date with someone who doesn't speak English. He spent the whole time just using the trans-class. - I've also been there. It's exhausting. - So anyway, I was, how's it going through Bumble? There was some potential, you know, women that look quite interesting. So there's a few that swipes on. And then one, swipe back and we agreed to meet. - Mm-hmm. - So anyway, we came to the point where she was gonna meet the lobby at the hotel. So I went down and I was just, I was sitting there, like keeping an eye out for this person. I was like, my analogy. Especially when I was like, where are you? I'm here. And she goes, I'm here too. I was like, and I saw this person next to me. I mean, on the phone and she did not look anything like the person. - Were the photos even of her? - Yes, we're like heavily edited. - Evily edited. - Yeah, that's a problem with us. - So yeah, I was faced with a bit of a dilemma as whether I should just get up and leave. But she obviously probably would have recognized me at some point if I was to get up. So I just politely said hello and kind of, I think we went for one drink and I made it so I excuse to leave. - Yeah, what was different about her than her photos? - Everything, literally everything. So that was, that was-- - I don't understand why people do that because like, what do you think is gonna happen when you show them? I guess like maybe they're like, oh, my shining personality is going to like win them over despite looking at like my photos. We're really getting off on a bad foot if you're misrepresenting yourself online. Because then it's like, what else about you? Isn't true. - I know, but it's so common though. I just, I don't know if we'll do it. But yeah, so-- - Well, I guess we do know why they do it 'cause they wanna get matches and they weren't getting probably going on dates and getting matches with their real photos. - So that was one of my experiences on Bumble. But going back to men, okay? So if we're talking about men and how they can improve their channel, when it comes to dating or finding somebody what are some basic things that they can do. Yeah, so one is get comfortable sticking your neck out more. So that means a variety of things, but for a lot of guys, they aren't actually putting themselves out there enough to meet people. They aren't putting themselves in environments with women that they could be interested or be interested in them. They aren't actually approaching women. They aren't creating chemistry and flirting when they do talk to women they're interested in. So just taking more risks and getting over the fear of rejection is a huge one. Because if you approach dating with the fear or you know, of being, you're worried that she's not going to like you back. You're not going to take enough shots on goal. And you're also probably going to be approaching in a way that doesn't exude confidence that comes off as being scared of rejection. And that's not attractive. So that's one of the key things. Okay, so let's talk about environments or situations where you will maximize your options of finding the right type of girls. So first of all, we can agree that nightclubs is probably not going to be a good choice. Agreed. Right. Jim's can be good. I met my husband at the gym. Yeah, especially one thing I've notes as well is the timings of when you go to the gym. Yeah. So if you go to the gym early in the morning, I mean, that's a different crowd of people compared to the ones that go and either a lunchtime or in the evening. And I tend to find it and why but it's a certainly my experience in Dubai. More women tend to train in the morning compared to an evening. So I would say timing is important. But what's even more important is like the type of gym or the type of workout. Because if you're going to like a workout class, for example, are you familiar with berries? Yeah, yeah. That's where I met my husband. There's a start time and there's an end time. People are congregating in the lobby before. There's a smoothie bar. So it's a natural environment to talk to somebody that is much easier than a free gym where it's on the gym floor. And she has her headphones in and she's lifting weights or running on the treadmill. You can't approach her in that situation. So you have to kind of get lucky and end up at the water fountain at the same time coming or going at the same time. It's just more difficult. So I really like fitness classes as a way if you do want to optimize meeting people up the gym. And like a Saturday morning class, you know, she's not going to be rushing any place after most likely. It also indicates a mutual lifestyle. Like she probably wasn't at the club till four in the morning the night before if she's going to a 9am yoga or Pilates class. So you can infer things about her lifestyle. So if that's your lifestyle, then you might get along. Yeah. As opposed to like I think 6am, you know, people are usually getting it in before work. So then they're like jetting off right after it's not like they have time to sit in park. Yeah. And I think if you do go to a yoga or Pilates class, you'll probably find the ratio quite favorable. Very favorable for a guy. Run clubs as well. Run clubs are big right now. They're like the new dating societies. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have them in Dubai? Yes. They've definitely become more popular over the past year. There's like a there's a big beach called kite beach. And then there's like loads of different clubs that have kind of cropped up out of nowhere. I hosted one in January and there was a very good turn out. But it did tend to be a little bit more guys. But that's I've seen some of my friends do it. One of my friends does one in Bali. And that just kind of blew up and ended up getting I think one time I had like a hundred people. Wow. There's some really big ones here in Austin. Yeah. Yeah. There's a ton of run clubs. You'll like see like a pack of a hundred people running down the road. Yeah. What's going on? Oh, run club. Where else? What are the scenarios? So it's really dependent on the person. Anything that you enjoy doing. I mean, not everything is created equal. But if you are artistic or you are into poetry going to a poetry reading going to a bookstore that has an author speaking. If you like art taking a pottery class. I have a guy friend taking a pottery class right now. He doesn't have any experience in pottery, but it's something that peaked his interest and he wants to meet more people and it's been a great place for him to meet women. You want to think about what's the where's like the venn diagram of things that you are interested in and genuinely will enjoy doing and places women spend time and then what's the intersection like you might enjoy video games, but that's not going to be a great place to meet women. Yeah. What about the the approach? So let's say for example, you you've got yourself in this environment and then somebody takes your fancy. Yeah. What are some of the best ways that you can go about approaching them? Yeah. So step by step, I love if you can make eye contact first. It is not a requirement. I have guys be like, well, we weren't able to make eye contact. It's not that you have to, but that can be a really nice way to signal or way to see if there's some interest there. If she holds your eye contact, if she smiles, if she looks back at you again, that is going to be a more of a green light than having no eye contact or recognition of each other made. What if she looks at you, but she doesn't smile, but she holds the look? Wait, that's okay because then guess what? You can use that as your opener. You can walk up to her and say, I think we made eye contact. So I wanted to come introduce myself. Yeah. That's something guys get wrong is they feel like they need to have the perfect line. They feel like they need to say something witty when they approach a woman and you don't. You can keep it super simple. I think we made eye contact or I noticed you from over there and I just wanted to come say hello. If you I would not say I think we made eye contact. No, what have you made eye contact though? Then you wouldn't you're like, I know we did you still when it feel comfortable? Yeah, no, I because I've made this mistake a few times where I couldn't actually tell if they were interested or not because they didn't smile, but they were staring. I think if they do it a second time and they're for sure, that's an indication where okay you can come over and talk. But you wouldn't say I think we made eye contact. I just don't think it really I guess the my point is it doesn't really matter what you say. So if you walk over with confidence and you look her in the eye and you have a genuine warm smile and you say I think we made eye contact. So I wanted to come introduce myself where you say like you caught my eye. So I wanted to come introduce myself either way assume if she's in she's going to be interested or she's not she might have been looking at you because you had a big piece of spinach in your tea in which case it's like you know maybe she isn't and she's a boyfriend so she's going to say like oh thanks but bye or she's going to think you're cute and think your confidence was attractive and engage in conversation. I don't think you need to be using any child lines or cheesy ones. I think back in the day remember there's a book that came out that was very popular called the game. Oh yeah of course. Yeah so I think that was a thing for a period of time and then I think all the women had either heard the chat out lines or just didn't really work anymore. So I agree I think if you just have a basic conversation. Yeah. All you need to do is just break the ice. Exactly. Yeah pick up lines. The reason they don't work for most guys is because you are using somebody else's line. It's not authentic to you so most likely the way you are delivering it doesn't come off as confident or authentic or like you said she has heard it before and that's why I think pick up artists they had like the game and like in some of those other people who said like oh if you follow these tips or tricks you'll be able to get women to notice you or to sleep with you or to give you her number but that's exactly what it is it's tricks. So manipulation. Exactly it might work initially but it is unlikely to help you build or sustain a lasting connection because you're not being your authentic self. So okay you've broken the ice there is some sort of a conversation that has started. How can you tell if this person I mean I guess it is kind of obvious but there's some people who seem to struggle to read body language or just know that okay this person isn't interested. Yeah. So I think first of all if they're like their body is like not even facing you shifting away that's probably one sign. Yeah. And then if they're not really asking you any questions or the rounds are very blunt I think that's safe to say. Exactly. Not making eye contact, not encouraging conversation, looking away from you consistently. Like you said facing away that's why a lot of the men I work with really like my programs and a variety of different courses because they literally give you I like to break things down very specifically. So it's like look for these signs. If you don't see these signs the opposite of what we just talked about if she's not making eye contact if she doesn't have open body language if she's not asking you questions in return you probably don't want to ask for her number and that's okay. A lot of mistakes the mistake I see men make is they rush the ask so they go up to her and their goal is just okay I'm going to ask for her phone number and that shouldn't be your goal when you approach a woman. Your goal should be like let me talk to her and get to know her to see if I should ask for her phone number. Yeah. That's going to be better for both of you because if she's rude or if she doesn't show interest back why do you want her phone number? Yeah. Asking shows a lack of awareness whereas if you approach with the mindset of can I create a connection and see if we have things in common you're going to have better conversation and then if there is some connection, you're gonna have more of a shot of getting her phone number. And if you just rush it, like guys who walk up and like, you might use the opener and then they immediately skip to the ask for the number. Why you, why is she going to give you her phone number? Maybe if you were really handsome and she was already attracted to you, but most likely she's gonna wanna see that you guys can have some band-o back and forth. I think you have something in common that you are able to carry conversation if she's gonna commit to going on a date with you. So it's important not to skip that intermediary step of building that connection before asking. - And what if she doesn't want to give you her number, but she'll give you a social media handle? Is that still, is that like a polite rejection or? - Not necessarily. It might be that she's just more comfortable with that. So and it actually is a yes. Or it might be she's undecided and wants to do a little more recon before committing to a date. - Have you ever seen a background check on that? - Yeah, exactly. See who you are, see what your pictures are like. So that's why even when guys are like, "Hey, I'm not into social media," or even I'm not online dating, it's still important to have some good photos because if you are gonna exchange Instagrams, you wanna have, you don't need to be an influencer. And in fact, like you don't need to, you definitely don't wanna look like you're trying to be an influencer and not succeeding. But having just like a couple good photos and photos that showcase your lifestyle can be really beneficial for that. - Well, I think a lot of women now are more attracted to guys who are a little bit more private with a lot of media. - Totally. - But like you said, you can kind of tell when someone's trying a little bit too hard. And even I've found, obviously, my businesses and my work is relies on social media. So it's not like I'm doing it just to get attention like I need to actually do it. But there's been cases before where, you know, I've met someone I've been speaking to them. This is like in real life. And they've asked me for my social media. And I'm like, no, let me just give you my number instead 'cause I don't want them to see my social media. I don't want that to like-- - You need like a backup account. That's like, you have like 500 followers. You look like a totally a normal guy. I know social media following his private. - Yeah, because-- - Some wholesome photos with your grandma. - Sometimes, I mean, I've seen, probably not very relatable, but if you have a bigger following, that can be a deterrent for some women. - Yeah. - Like they were just being, oh no, it's really scary. This guy, like he's gonna get too much attention. Like it's not worth the headache. So I think a lot of guys don't need to stress out about having a massive following because it doesn't actually, it can actually work against you. But as you said, looking as though you have, you've got a semi-interesting life. Like you're doing things. You're not trying too hard, but there's like subtle hints of you, you know, having it a bunch of resources. - Probably, it'll give you a bunch of resources. - Yeah. And then again, which is quite interesting, is a lot of it really is down to timing. So if you are gonna approach somebody and maybe, not that you don't get, maybe you get rejected or you don't get a number, it might be the case at that point in time, they are in a relationship and they're not available. I think a lot of guys get really offended. - Huge mistake. - And it's like, don't be offended. - Huge mistake. - It's probably the case that it's very rare that most women are fully, fully single. - Yeah. - Like they're probably talking to-- - It likely has nothing to do with you. - Yeah. - Like you're kind of giving yourself too much credit, thinking like, oh, she doesn't like me. Sure, maybe, yeah, maybe you're not her type, maybe she doesn't like men at all. Maybe she's dating somebody else, maybe she's having a bad day, maybe she's just a bitch. Like if you take every rejection personally and a hit to your ego, you're not gonna keep approaching women and you're not gonna get very far meeting women in real life. You need to have self-worth and confidence in yourself. And if a woman doesn't want you, then it's like, okay, her loss. And if your attitude is her loss, I'm cool with who I am, I know what I bring to the table. You're not going to get in your feelings every time a woman doesn't want to give you her phone number. Because most of the time, you aren't going to get a phone number. You aren't going to get a date. - Yeah. - So I like to say dating is a numbers game to a point. You also need to be doing the right things. It's you're doing the wrong thing and you're approaching in a weird way or you're not coming off confident or you're rushing the ask. You could approach a thousand, you could approach a thousand women and get zero phone numbers. But if you're doing things the right way and you're following the right steps, if you approach a hundred women, you're gonna get some traction. You're gonna get phone numbers. - Yeah. - But I think it's probably safe to say, leave the majority of the talking for the actual first date. - Please, please don't become a pin-pal. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. So getting the first date or some sort of a meeting set up and how. - A date, it should be a first date. You should set the tone that this is a date. I'd like to take you out. Not, you know, oh, can we meet up as friends? Unless that's what you want. But assuming you are interested in her romantically, being confident in calling in a date and treating it as such is going to get you a lot further. - Yeah, you know what I do sometimes? I say I'm gonna do something. And then I like, oh, do you wanna join? Because that way, even if they say no, it doesn't look like I'm gonna be upset or let down because I'm still gonna do nothing. I was gonna do anything. - Yeah. And it's probably something you wanted to do. - Yeah. - So it gives her an idea of your lifestyle, the type of things you're interested in and she can join. And if not, no sweat, okay. - Yeah. And as I would imagine quite a lot of guys make them stay contrived to overly impress on the first date or do something too fancy. - Yeah, I'm a big fan of the casual first date because why, as the man do you want to invest all of this time and energy into somebody you don't know? That can often indicate that you don't have a lot of options or that you don't value yourself for your time. Whereas I'm not saying like it has to be something so casual as like just a walk, although like a walk can be okay in my opinion, all those some people have very strong feelings about that. - Really? - People are very anti-walk. You haven't heard that. - No. - Like there's girls on Instagram being like, I'm not a dog, I don't wanna go on a walk. - Oh, well that's an awesome, I think red flag. - Yeah, that's how I feel. - Exactly, exactly. I think it's a way to rule people out. And even as the woman, why do you want to commit to a fancy sit down dinner with someone who you might have nothing in common with and not have stimulating conversation. As a woman, I would much rather have a quick drink, go on a walk, get a juice to see if there's a vibe, especially if you've met online or you've met in a social setting in real life where it's very quick where you don't know this person. I don't wanna to admit to anything long-term. I don't wanna go sit down at a sporting event that's gonna take three hours, you know, even if you're a front row seats. Like, no, thank you. - Yeah, that's so true. If you haven't met before and it's purely online, you need to do something which is just gonna be a little test. - Yeah, James Zero. - That's what. - It's day zero. It's just a vibe check. And then the first date is actually the second time you're meeting and sure, go to dinner and do something a bit more involved. - Yeah. So let's assume that the first meeting has taken place, the first physical meeting, that's gone well. And then we go to the official first date. What are some things that men should not be doing? - Some mistakes which they make. - So you should not be treating it like a business meeting. I think a lot of at least my clients fall into the category of they want to be respectful and they don't actually put themselves out there enough and flirt enough or create romantic chemistry. So they're just very, they might be very polite, they have good conversation, but they aren't, you know, leaning in and holding eye contact. They aren't creating any physical touch. They aren't going for a hug or going for a kiss. That's what makes meeting somebody a date versus just a platonic meeting. - I've fallen into that trap before. Because I've been so afraid of coming across too forward, like a sleaze bag or whatever. - And then she's like, I do like me. - Yeah, this was a long time ago, but I was being too nice. And I just wanted to get to know the person and for her to know that I'm like a good guy. - Yeah, I'm a gentleman. - Yeah. - But there was like, I remember this one scenario, really an Ibiza and went on a walk and it went to this like private bay. Nobody was around. - Very romantic. - We went into the water. It was like pitch a perfect setting. And I was just stared at it. Like it would have been the perfect place to give her a kiss. - Yeah. - And I just didn't. And then afterwards she was like, "Why didn't you not kiss me?" And I was like, "Just try to be a nice guy." So there's mistakes which I've made. And I think maybe in this modern climate, men are just afraid of-- - Absolutely. They're afraid of being perceived as creepy. - Yeah. Or like harassing women or whatever. - Absolutely. - What some signs that you can go into make a move. - Yeah. Well, I hear this all the time from men. What you just described is like, I'm worried about being perceived as creepy or I don't want to be, come on, cross as creepy. And that's absolutely a byproduct of the climate. Of like, I don't want to do anything wrong. I could get in trouble. But the reality is most men who are worried about being creepy, they aren't the problem. They aren't the creepy men. And there's a lot of steps between, you know, nothing and a kiss or nothing in sex or a kiss. and sex. There are a lot of things to hit before that to understand if she is interested and to check the mood. So for example, on a first date, let's say, maybe you know, okay, I'm interested in her. I would like to secure a second date. I want to kiss her at the end of the date to, you know, see if there's a vibe. In that case, leading up to the end of the date, that the end of the date shouldn't be the first time you touch her when you go for the kiss, touch her knee as you're talking, guide her to her seat and touch her lower back, ask about her bracelets and touch her hand or wrist throughout the date. Lean in. Does she lean back? Does she hold your eye contact? If when you lean forward, she leans away or when you touch your hand, she pulls it away. Okay, back off a little bit. Not an indication that you should go for the kiss. But if she's receptive to all of those little steps, then going for the kiss at the end of a date, a date is something you've both opted into as a romantic interaction. It's appropriate. And if you aren't sure about the kiss or if she wants one, ask. And I hear a lot of, can I give you a kiss? I see, I actually think you can ask in a statement and it's a lot sexier. So saying something like you're standing close to one another, you're outside the restaurant, you're looking at, maybe look at her lips, you look back in her eyes and it's like, I really want to kiss you right now. Okay, yeah. And then she's either going to kiss you or she's going to say, do it or she'll make, I don't kiss on the first date and you can say, ah, something to look forward to next time. There's a way to play it off, right? Yeah, it's not like, can I give you a kiss? Is there every time where a woman would make physical touch and it not mean something good? Yeah, I mean, maybe she's just really flirty. Maybe she's really comfortable with physicality, but then she's still decides she's not romantically interested in you. It's not a guarantee, but it is a good indication that there is, she's at least exploring interest. Yeah. She might be exploring it and then decide she's not interested. She can change her mind, just like you can change your mind. Maybe you end up saying something that turns her off where she realizes it's not a good fit for whatever reason. But you're not going to get, you know, a drink thrown in your face or slapped if you have checked those initial boxes before going for the kiss or asking for the kiss. And then after, let's say it's the first date, if you've had, if you've kissed, that's probably a good sign that it's gone well and you probably don't really need to put much effort in or think much about how to proceed after that. It's going to come naturally. But I'm like, I don't know. I think it, I don't think it comes naturally to everybody. Yeah. You do need to think about it, I think, and like, have a good follow up because if you have a kiss after the date, she might be initially interested. But if you totally fumble the follow up and you, you know, texture something lame or you don't follow up in a timely manner, that was the best night of my life. Yeah. Or texture thing weird. You're probably still not going to get this second date. Like what? I mean, like that was the best night of my life. Or just like, it was fun meeting you and then nothing else. Or you don't texture for a few days. I've seen that advice online. Like wait three days. Like no, what kind of game is that? Like we're in a fast paced world. She's dating other people. Like if she doesn't hear from you for a few days, that's, you know, kind of a turn off. I'm not saying you need to confess your love the next day or even plan the second date. But a follow up text like, hey, it was really great meeting you or like I had fun xyz calling back something specific from the date. I'd love to see you again. It can go a long way. Would you suggest to send that message after the day or the next day? It's not, it's not, you know, you're not going to like shoot yourself in the foot one versus the other. But I would say if you have a date at night, then the next day can be fine. If you have an afternoon or a daytime date, then that evening is fine. But it's going to be let alone. Like one day a little bit. Yeah. You don't need to like immediately follow up. And definitely don't be over texting. And you don't need to send a text message that night. Send them on the next day. Wish her good morning. Wish her good night. Oh, you're much more likely to text yourself out of a date than text yourself into a date. So I'm a proponent of less is more early in a relationship and save texting for the logistics of planning the next date. Not trying to get to know one another. We'll get back to the podcast in a second. But first of all, I want to say a massive shout out to Bionic. I have been using their supplements for the past four years. I never knew what supplements I needed to take out. I was going to the pharmacy and buy a load of random bottles and end up popping pills all day every day, not having a clue if I was consuming the vitamins, which I should be consuming at all. But Bionic came to save the day. They are a tailor made supplement company that will put together your own specific formula based on your activity, your agenda. I have Bionic Pro where I get the blood test done every three to four months and based on that blood test, I get my own personalized formula. For those people who don't want to do a blood test or don't have access to that, then you can go with Bionic go where you just have to fill in a short questionnaire and based on that question there, you will get your tailored supplements with a surprisingly high degree of accuracy. So stop the guesswork, finance Bionic and then show that you remove those deficiencies and build up your immune system. Yeah, and luckily for me, and if you are a guy who is very busy as it is, then you probably won't even have the time. That will usually work in your favor. You naturally have boundaries. Boundaries are really important with dating. It's ideal if your boundaries are set because you have other things going on rather than having false boundaries like, okay, now I need to wait 12 hours. So she thinks I'm busy and she doesn't think that I want to texture all the time. If you're just actually busy doing cool shit, living your life, then you're also going to have more things to talk about on the date, talk about the things you did since the last time you saw her. I'm a big proponent of building an attractive life. And that is going to have exponential growth on your dating life and benefits to your dating life than trying to learn the right amount of time to wait between texts or game the system. So she thinks you're cool. Just be cool. Do cool stuff. And let's talk a little bit about ghosting because I think that's quite important. Let's say you're either not getting replies or the replies are either blunt or just taking a long time to come back. That's probably a safe sign that she's not that interested. So would you say just to back off? Yeah, if any one woman is showing signs of disinterest or not putting an effort, effort equals interest. If she's not putting an effort, then back off and find somebody who will. If this is happening consistently, then you might be doing something wrong. You might be sending boring text messages. You might not be coming across as a viable romantic partner for whatever reason. That's a reason that a lot of guys will come and work with me and choose to take one of my courses or do one-on-one coaching because they're consistently having a result that they don't want. Like they're not getting first dates or they aren't getting past the third or fourth date. They consistently hear you're really nice, but I didn't feel a romantic connection. So it's like, okay, if anyone, woman does that, okay, that's one woman. You don't need to read too much into it. You want to fit. But if you're consistently having one of those things happen, if you're consistently not getting the results you want dating, you need to do something different. You need to learn. You need to learn how to come across as a partner. You need to learn how to text better. You need to learn how to make a good dating app profile. Dating is a learnable skill. I think a lot of people don't appreciate that enough. And I have people ask me, how do you know if someone's interested or not? That's that look. You'll know. Yeah, you have to ask. Yeah, if it's not obvious, then I don't know, maybe just let that one slide. I mean, I do think some guys are oblivious to it. Like I've definitely had clients where they're like, I don't know if she's interested in me and I'm like looking at the text messages or like trying to like, dude, yeah, she is. Just like ask her out again. Or that's a thing they're like, I don't know. We kissed after the first day, but she didn't, you know, give me any compliments. She didn't text me like that quick after. I'm like, just ask her out again and you'll get your answer. Yeah. And if she pushes it off or is like breadcrumbing you, then move on. Either she wants to go out with you again or she doesn't. And if she doesn't, your best bet is to move on. And that's also low key. How if someone is unsure about you, if you push and you are needy and you beg for it and you act like you really want her. She's going to be way less likely than if you're like, okay, cool, bye. And just proceed on with your life. Then she's much more likely to come around and be like, you know what? Like we did have a good date. Like, yeah, I'm going to follow up with him. Mm-hmm. And if a girl is really interested, like she will make an effort to. She'll make the time. Yeah. She's not going to be too busy with work or friends or travel. Like she'll find it too. I mean, if she says she is unavailable, doesn't mean she's not interested. She might genuinely have plans. So give it another like a second chance. Yeah. And if you get turned down again on the second chance, like just leave it. Yeah, exactly. But wait for her to maybe start that conversation again. Exactly. Exactly. It's like, is it a red, yellow or green light? Red is like no response or like very short or tourist response. Yellow light is maybe like, oh, like I'm busy. I can't. Okay, you can ask for one more time in that case. Green light is like, I'm so sorry. I totally forgot like my grandma's in town. Okay, that's a green light to definitely ask again. Yeah, she's like apologize She's told you why she's busy. Maybe she's even said like I'd love to another time though And then you can proceed that way What some sort of universal characteristics In men that women find attractive So women want guys who are high status you hear that term thrown around all the time status high status But I think it's often not understood what it means and How and or guys assume it means financial status wealth money and while that is a component of what might make a man have high status It is far from the only thing and oftentimes Too heavily weighted so when you when I think about status it really goes you can attribute it to evolutionary biology Thinking about and throughout history what makes somebody have a high status is do they have do they Have qualities that other people find attractive. So do they are they able to provide? It doesn't necessarily just mean financially are they able to be charismatic? Are they funny? Do they make people laugh? Do they? You know, it could be any number of things are they good at a sport that make other people Want to be around them or think that they are attractive that is going to elevate their status and make women interested in them So it is far from just financial you could be broke But a comedian and you're probably going to get women yeah Because or you could be broke and I you know in a band that is crushing it and it's not even because oh I see the financial upside later that women are going to be interested in you It's because you have this quality that people value and appreciate. Yeah And there's there's obviously physical appearance is Important but I think men They get a bit confused about what is the women actually find attractive They would assume that being bigger and more muscular would correlate to more women being interested But that's actually not the case like there's I mean obviously you can vary from one person to the next I think we can agree if you Have a athletic physique. Mm-hmm. That's probably gonna work in your favor. Yeah, it's good enough Yeah, men care much more about what women look like than women care about what men look like Yeah, women are going to value more your personality and what you bring to the table outside of looks Then I think men often appreciate guys think oh Women don't like me because I'm short and that's out of my control So dating is rigged against me and the reality is if you have other qualities women are attracted to I mentioned status If you're able to communicate desire and interest in them if you're fun to be around you most good Yeah, women are going to still be interested in you and sure you can't look like a slob if you are You know obese and or like Incredibly overweight where it's affecting your day-to-day life. Yeah women who are super fit probably aren't going to be attracted to that but if you you know Carry yourself well you are Well-groomed if you dress appropriately that doesn't mean you have to dress like a gq model But you wear clothes that fit you and that look good on you. It really doesn't matter like how symmetrical your face is It's more important how you make women feel in your status to whether or not they find you attractive. Yeah So humor important Don't take yourself too seriously. Yeah Just being fun to be around I think is really underrated you could I know plenty of really rich guys who are boring to be around and struggle with women Yeah, where you could be not financially successful but a blast to be around and you're probably gonna do pretty well with women Yeah, but what if it was a case of what how does somebody? Try to be more fun if they're naturally more there Quiet to interview. Yeah, so I would say most of my clients self-identify as introverted or shy And it definitely you don't have to be extroverted to be successful with women I'm not saying you need to be like Jim carry on a day and you know making jokes and keeping a stand-up comedian But just by doing interesting things and doing fun things and being able to talk about those things is going to go a long way So I've had clients be like well, how do I become more interesting on dates is like Just do interesting things take a trip Pick up a hobby that you've been interested in put yourself out there to do something that you haven't done before challenge yourself in some way And those are things that you're gonna be able to talk about on dates and women are gonna find interesting. Yeah Jim is an important one for me like I like to be myself and crack jokes and even just like Joakingly play around and maybe you know Give them a like a light insult just to see if they can take a joke Because if somebody can't take a joke that I'm probably gonna struggle to have like a fun relationship with them Like if they can give it back and make fun of me that's even better because that's like a good sign that we're gonna get along That's kind of like a bit of a risky one though because it's mean times where I would crack a joke at their expense They would either just not understand it or they would get really offended and I'd be like oh But to your point if they're super offended by that, it's probably not a good fit for you Yeah, I mean, you know, there's definitely you could go too far in that whereas if she had gotten to know you more Maybe the joke would have landed better. So there's definitely like a happy medium to cracking a joke and like insulting somebody But if you're genuinely being playful and lighthearted, you know and teasing teasing is a great way to flirt Yeah, you're not insulting her you're teasing her Mm-hmm And if she doesn't take that well then probably not for you. What about being open and vulnerable? Because someone who I follow she pretty switched on she actually wrote she's doing a Q&A and somebody asked her what characteristics And she find attractive and mad and she wrote Obviously a lot of things which she covered but she could she mentioned kindness and Openness and vulnerability which I was like So I think openness and vulnerability is important and it can be confusing because oftentimes openness and vulnerability People don't associate it with being masculine Yeah And so they think like oh, I can't be open and vulnerable because then I won't be masculine and then she won't be attracted to me But I actually think being if you can authentically be open and vulnerable In a way that's like hey, this is who I am and what I bring to the table and if that's not for you then like Okay, I know harm no foul not my problem Then that's actually going to illustrate confidence and be really attractive So I think that's something that can be a little bit confusing Whereas if you aren't open and you aren't vulnerable because you're scared of what other people think That is going to be unattractive And then I think the kindness is an interesting one too because you hear about like the nice guy finishing last And that can be true like to your point before where you're like I was just trying to be really nice I wanted to be a gentleman and while yes women want A gentleman and they want somebody who is kind they don't want somebody who is kind to everybody at their own expense If you're been and that can be even to a woman if you just met this woman and you're bending over backwards trying to accommodate her To make sure you can meet up and to work around her schedule. What does that say about you? It says that you don't have a lot of options And that you're willing to go out of your way for somebody that you don't even know She's not necessarily attracted so there's a difference between being too nice and being kind Being kind to the wait staff Tipping well being you know looking somebody in the eye those are ways to demonstrate kindness that aren't at the expense of yourself Yeah, she also mentioned the authenticity which you say an authentic be authentically Yourself yeah one of my key things in the way that I approach dating in the way I teach dating skills Is it all needs to come from a place of you being authentic to yourself because if you are acting like somebody you're not And you aren't being authentic women are going to see through that and it's not going to work out in the long run Yeah, so I teach men how to authentically market themselves So they can be who they are and it still attract women that they're excited about yeah What your thoughts on a guy who Wants to date, but he's not looking for anything serious I don't have a problem with it if you're just looking for hookups or you know to fool around like I don't have anything is there Something they should do or something they should say beforehand to kind of make it clear because It's a it's a weird one because then might also be other women out there who are looking for something casual in which case The two people want some in casual perfect, but usually that's not always the case and it might be maybe it's the guy that's wanting something casual Yeah, instead of the girl now Is should they Be open and honest from the beginning But because the thing is if they're too open and honest then the girls gonna be like No, because really see the guys like well, I like you and I want to sex with you I'm pretty quickly and if you say that they're gonna run away. Yeah, you can't do that on their approach I'm like you have my eye from over there and like one have sex tonight That's probably not gonna go for these though if a woman said that's what guy the guy would be like yes, please Yeah, let's do it No, I think there's like a happy balance because she might not be interested in having sex with you tonight if she just met you and doesn't know who you are. But if you build trust and there's a lot of chemistry, then that might be something that she's open to. But I am obviously a proponent of being open and honest about that. So it doesn't mean you have to tell her before the date. But if you're on the date and like sparks are flying, you might say something like, I just want to be open with about the fact that I'm not looking for anything serious, but I'm super attracted to you. And I would love to like see where this can go or would love to like take you home or whatever the situation is. And that's going back to the openness thing, like being open and confident in asking for what you want. You might actually be really surprised that more women than you think are open to that and interested in that if you can confidently ask for it. And then you're gonna have a better outcome anyway versus like you're conning someone into thinking you're looking for a long-term relationship, you sleep with her once and then you open a whole different box of problems when you have different expectations of what's coming next. - Yeah. So with the people that you work with on a one-to-one basis, curious to know what is it that's struggling with and how you're helping them with their struggles. - So I really have two clients that I see you a lot of. One, I call the engineer. He's usually someplace in his 20s to 40s. May or may not actually be an engineer, but usually works in a technical field. He's a smart guy. He has great friends. He has interesting hobbies, but he's aware his dating life isn't at the same level and he wants his dating life to catch up. So that's a lot of who comes to me. They often are struggling with the ability to create chemistry and flirt. They're good one-to-one with people. They're really good at business, but they aren't creating that romantic dynamic with women. So that's something that I often see them struggling with or they just aren't sure even where to meet women that they're interested in. And then the second client I see a lot of is the divorcee. Someone who has been out of the game for five, 10, 20 years, maybe usually a little bit older may or may not have kids and just didn't expect to be single again and wants to get caught up. Once the cheat code for how to text, how to create an online dating profile because they just haven't been exposed to any of that. So those are the two people I see a lot of in my core business of courses and coaching. And then I also do matchmaking. And matchmaking client is a little bit different. That is somebody who's already really confident on dates, knows how to convert a first date into a second, third or fourth date. Doesn't struggle there, but is usually successful, often entrepreneur owns his own business and just doesn't have the time to meet people or doesn't want to be online, doesn't want to date online because maybe they're a public figure or for whatever reason, don't want their face out there in that way. So those clients are a little bit different where I tell people all the time, if you are struggling to get second dates or you're not confident with women, do not pay for matchmaking. You need to first learn the fundamentals before you're putting money behind getting set up with really high quality women just to get turned down. So those are the different sort of buckets of guys that I see often and work with. Tell me more about the matchmaking thing. Yeah, so-- I can't tell you how that works. Yeah, so my matchmaking is a little bit different than maybe some other matchmakers. When a guy comes to us, we get to know them and what they are looking for. And then we go out and source women based on what they want. So for example, sometimes matchmakers will have a database, like an old database, of women who have also applied, women are paying, men are paying, and then they're trying to match them together. Or they just have these women who have applied and want to be considered. We are going out and finding women that have no problem dating because they are really high quality. They have a lot of options. And then we're pitching them like, hey, we get to know them as well. And it's like, hey, let us set you up with this guy who we have in our database who's amazing. He's successful, you know, whatever it is. You'd give him a full presentation of this guy. No, not exactly, but we'll give them the highlights because we have gotten to know both individually. So we know it's not just like, oh, he's single and he wants a hot girl and she's single and hot. It's like, no, these are the values and characteristics he's looking for in a woman. This woman, we've had a call with her, we want to know where she has those things. Let's like tell her, this guy's a catch, you know, explained to her why we think it is going to be a good match. She almost always opts in because like I said before, yeah, we build that trust and women would love a stamp of approval from another woman before going on a date. When you meet a guy on a dating app, you don't know if he's going to end up being prince charming or more likely than not, a total dud and not somebody you want to see again. Women have trouble deciphering the good from the bad top of funnel. So having a woman vouch for this guy and have predetermined that you, okay, you at least have things in common and what you each say you're looking for matches then we connect them and make the match. So it's a lot higher, it's more consistently going to be a really good date. It doesn't mean you're going to get married. You know, there's so much out of my control and out of each individual's control about whether that is possible but it's going to at least be a good date because you have things in common because we know that you share these interests. You're going to have things to talk about. - So you're sourcing these women from an existing database or do you sometimes. - We mostly go out and find that. - Like would you see somebody maybe on social media? - Yeah. - I'm going to be like, oh this is-- - That's one way. Like reaching out on social media, also just meeting women in person. You know, I have matchmakers on my team. We have contacts in different cities where the women's, you know, someone on my team is out of poloity or myself, I'm at a poloity studio and I see a woman. She's not wearing a ring. She's really cute. I'm like, hey, like, I'm a matchmaker. Do you happen to be single? I'd love to consider you for somebody. I have it, you know, I have in mind and ask her some questions, get to know her and then that's how it happens. - Hey, this is new to me. I didn't know that that exists. - It's very personal. - It's like high-end personalized dating. But I can see it, obviously working. I imagine you got some happy, have you got any clients that have actually got married? - Yeah, so yeah, I haven't been doing the matchmaking really long enough to have clients who have gotten to married but definitely relationships. - Well, maybe less people get married overall generally. - Well, and also, I mean, I've officially been doing my matchmaking business for less than a year. So it'd be a very quick turnaround to be married. Although it's been going very well. But for my coaching clients, I have tons of marriages. I've been doing this since 2020. So I would say I get regular emails of engagements and marriages and that is like why I do what I do. That is the best email I can get. Or even just like, hey, I met this person, I'm really excited about. It wouldn't have happened if I hadn't taken your course or if I hadn't worked with you or coach on your team. Like, thank you so much. That makes me so happy and it's just proof that this is a learnable skill. There are little tweaks that a lot of guys can make that will dramatically improve your dating life. - It's quite interesting, which I've seen on social media, especially in comments sections. There's some guys usually, I don't know, quite upset, but guys were like, oh, I never take dating advice from a woman. They don't know what they want. - Yeah, don't ask a fish how to fish. - What's your thoughts on that? - So first of all, those aren't my clients. If you don't think I can help you, if you're like, this bitch has terrible advice, don't buy my products. Then you're not going to give value out of them if that is your mindset that you can't learn from a woman. I would say that that's obviously silly and it's also approaching it from like, okay, fishing. Are you a fish? You're kind of trying to trick a fish into biting the hook and then like reeling them in. That's not what I'm teaching here. We're not tricking women into liking you. It's like, no, how do you authentically market yourself to create genuine connections with women that you are excited about? The approach is becoming the best version of yourself and then also making sure people who you meet can see that version of you, so they're interested. And then all of the tactical things that go along with it, the texting, the online dating profile, the what makes a great first date, what to do on a first date that, you know, we talked about this, but to create chemistry, how to ask for the second date, all of that tactical stuff, I lay out step by step by step because the type of guy I work with, I mentioned the engineer, he's very analytical. He wants the formula. And so I break it down in a way that they can apply it to their own life and put their own flavor on it, but it makes sense. And I say that all the time, like if you look at someone's advice, another dating coach or even mine, and you're like, that makes no sense to me. That's, that doesn't resonate. Then that person's advice probably isn't for you. There's not one size fits all. I'm not saying my advice is the only way that you can find a partner you're excited about or to find a wife. You've defined what works for you. - Yeah, do you have any clients who are in the early 20s or mid 20s? - Yeah, for sure. - 'Cause I would imagine it's probably even more difficult for them. - Yeah, I have clients who are in college, I have clients who are in their 20s. I would say my average client is in his early 30s, just because the price point of my product and oftentimes at that point, you've realized, like, okay, something's not working. Where in your early 20s, you might not quite realize, oh, what I'm doing isn't working. You're still in the kind of experimental phase. But I have a variety of products. I have something for everybody. - Why do you think so many guys at the moment tend to be struggling with their confidence and feeling lonely? That's because I feel like, more than ever, the young men in particular are struggling. - Absolutely. I conducted some census style survey data a couple years ago now, I guess it was like a year and a half ago, about loneliness and what it really showed was men are lonely with an ever, but more specifically, single men are really lonely and they're struggling. And I think that's a product of a variety of things, but we kind of touched on this earlier, but technology and social media, it gives you the impression that you're meeting a lot of people and that you're putting yourself out there and that you're having these experiences, but the reality is you're watching other people experience life and you aren't actually the one out there living it. So it's taking up your time and it might even be tricking you and giving you those quick dopamine hits that make you feel like things are happening, but really you're not doing anything and you're not having these experiences for yourself. So that's definitely something that I think is a problem with. I mean, for everybody, but specifically young men are falling into that. - Yeah, I think is-- - Easy access. - You just have to put yourself out there, particularly if you're in the mindset where you just wanna focus on your career business, you feel like everything is a distraction, you've gotta get completely logged in. Like that's not gonna be healthy. Like there will be certain times in life where you do have to focus on your career and maybe your relationship's dating gets kind of on the back for a little bit, but if you do that for too long, then you almost make yourself a little bit autistic when it comes to dating. - Yeah, and that's where I see a lot of when I was talking about who my clients are. They maybe really focused on their careers for the last decade and then all of a sudden, they lift their head up and it's like, oh, I'm not sure how to interact with women. I don't know how to go about dating. So I'm not saying, I don't focus on your career, but I think it's important to find that balance of like, okay, at the end of the day or on the weekend, don't sit at home and play video games, don't continue to remain behind the screen. Even little things like don't order your food on DoorDash, go out and sit at a bar in your neighborhood and eat at the bar and get out there and interact with other human beings. Don't order your groceries, go to whole foods and talk to the girl in line behind you. Not because you have to ask her out, but because having those human interactions, getting confident, making eye contact, getting confident, talking to strangers, paying compliments. These are all things that you can practice on anybody and are then going to be beneficial when you do see a cute girl who you wanna talk to or you want to start dating again. - Mm-hmm. - You don't wanna be like, oh, I talked to one person a week outside of the people I work with. That's not, and then now I wanna date like, oh, what do I do? That's not a good place to be starting from. - Yeah, do you speak to people who are in relationships? - People have been for a while and they're looking for advice to maintain a healthy relationship. - Yeah, I do hear from people who are in that situation or even men who are like, I wanna take your course because I want to start dating my wife again or I want to respark things. It's not really who I'm speaking to when I'm giving advice, but that's not to say that it couldn't work because the reality is whether you're on your first or you're 40th date, you wanna be doing a lot of the same things. You wanna be making the woman feel desired. You wanna make her feel special and hurt. You wanna have interesting conversations. You wanna flirt, you want to insert physicality in a sexy way. So those things are just as important down the road as they are when you're trying to land the partner. - Mm-hmm. And touching briefly on your social media, I'm curious to know with the content which you're making, which, which videos and videos have been the ones which have like been resonating with your audience. - Yeah, so a couple of things, guys seem to really like when I give explicit advice like text her this after the first date or like say this to make her feel special because people like to know exactly what they should do even though that's not really how dating works. I give tactical advice and I give scripts even in my courses but you wanna make sure whatever you're saying, you're putting a twist to make it authentic to you or at least it feels in your voice. But guys seem to really like that. - I think one of my most popular videos was how to tease a girl with tips on how to be playful and tease. Again, and that goes back to like, they're really like this is exactly what you say or do. - Yeah. Do you feel as though if men are struggling with their dating, they should relocate or go live somewhere where there's gonna be more opportunity to meet people? - Yeah, so I think you can put too much emphasis on where you live. Like if you live in a major city, it's probably not the city's problem that your dating life isn't going well, it's probably you need to look inward. But that being said, some cities are gonna be better than others and it's not crazy to think that if you want to prioritize your dating life that you might relocate someplace that has more like-minded people. For example, if you're super conservative and you wanna date a really traditional conservative woman, but you're living in a city that is super liberal and everyone is like a diehard feminist, you might not meet your person there and it's not outlandish to think, okay, I might need to relocate someplace where there's people who think like me. - 'Cause a lot of people ask me this, everybody's always obsessed with what it's like to live in Dubai. - Yeah. - Those people ask me, they're like, oh, what's the date life like in Dubai? - Yeah. And I tell them, it's actually really good. There's definitely like a huge variety 'cause you get a lot of nationalities in one place. For young people, a lot of single people. But obviously the quality can vary drastically. It's, I mean, you get in a lot of women, they're a lot of beautiful women there who are looking for guys with money and that's literally all they're looking for. So that's something which can be a course for concern. Maybe there's some guys who really don't care. Like maybe they just wanna find someone beautiful and spoiled. - Yeah. - But there's other guys who maybe don't want that. They don't wanna be taking advantage of. But as I mentioned earlier, a lot of it depends upon where you're going and where you're trying to find these people. So if you're going out to nightclubs, bars, restaurants, later on in the evening, you tend to find a certain type of woman and they're like out there fishing for guys, like if they're money. - Yeah. - But if you go and do like some wholesome activities, normal activities, you'll find good girls. - Yeah, I mentioned this to you before we started recording. I had a one-on-one client who lives in Dubai recently. So I have some insight into the Dubai dating scene and he basically said the same thing. But it's such a, it does attract like a lot of lawyers and people who are working for big companies and corporations from all over the world who are women and men who are super successful, really intelligent. So it's just a matter of then finding them because there is a lot of the other type as well. And he also mentioned there's a lot of like escorts and prostitutes. So like if you're picking up women at, you can't really like pick up women at a bar or a nightclub and not. You have to like, slush out for that. - It was, I mean, I think it's, it's quite prevalent in Dubai but also in other cities where there's a lot of wealth. Like wherever there's money, you tend to find more of those types. But I think it's one of those things where you just, you learn with experience. Like I was very naive when I was younger. I didn't even know like that existed and that was a thing. So there was a few shocks and surprises when I was younger. So I think now, - Yeah, this woman's really into me and she's like, that's gonna be $100. (laughing) - So yeah, I think you just have to not be so naive. And to be honest, if I've met someone I've spoken to them, if they say straight up, that's what they do. I actually respect them more. I'm like, okay, thank you for being honest. - Yeah. - Just when they try and hide it. And they do. - Well, it's like to your point before about if you wanna just sleep with a girl, like just be straight up and honest about it. And she's probably gonna be more likely to be into it than if you're being shady and trying to hide it and trick her into it. - Yeah. With your, do you have any clients who struggle with having too many options? - I have definitely have clients who have too many options that aren't the options they want. Or like you know, I feel like I'm dating sixes and sevens. And like I can't keep them off me, but like I want the nines and 10s. And so that's why they come to me. And then I definitely do have clients who go through my program. And they're like, I have 200 matches on hinge and like I can't even deal with this because my profile's really good now. And I'm like, yeah, I did that. Champagne problems is what we call that. - What you working on this year? Anything exciting? - Well, besides having a baby three weeks ago, that's my main project right now. - Yeah. - Matchmaking is really exciting to me. That's something that I think I've realized that people really want. You know, they're sick of dating apps. They're sick of the constant turnover and the ghosting and the non-committal. So that's something that matchmaking can really help with. So I'm excited to just set up more people and get more couples together that are excited about each other. - Well, what do you think of the future of dating? It's gonna be like, because the way things go and with AI and everything. - Yeah. I would not be surprised. I don't know what time frame probably sooner than we think. There's going to be these robots/sextals that are going to have really modernized AI where it would literally be like having AI girlfriend. I think that's absolutely going to be a thing. But I think it's going to be for a certain type of person. I don't think the average guy is going to be satisfied with an AI girlfriend. Sure, I might help the bottom quadrant of guys who are desperate for anything they can get and for someone who can talk to them, which is sad, but I think the reality. But I don't think your average guy or your successful guy is going to be happy with a sex doll. But it is going to become that much more important to know how to relate to people in a way. It's like when guys ask like, "Oh, can I just use chat GPT to text this woman back?" And it's like, "You could." And that might kick the ball down the road. But at the end of the day, if you don't know how to converse and create a connection in real life, even if you're great at texting and you're sending these funny one liners and you get her on the date, she's going to wonder where that guy went when you get in front of her. So I think their technology and AI can do a certain amount to help. But at the end of the day, you can't replace authentic human connection, which makes my job even more important. Because as people use AI and technology for more and more in their life, they need to be reminded how to be attractive and how to attract people in real life even more. I think the much-making thing is definitely very interesting. Yeah, I think more people are going to be interested in that in the future. Because imagine you literally list or speak to somebody, tell them this is kind of what I'm looking for. And those people will be out there, just a matter of. Of finding them and finding them good boys. And the day we are not really good. No, they aren't doing that. Whether or not someone is attractive on a dating app has to do with whether or not they understand how to make a compelling profile, not whether or not you're actually compatible. So that's something that matchmaking gets around. We're looking at, okay, are you guys actually compatible based on the things that matter? Not is this person able to make an attractive profile? Yeah, that makes sense. Awesome. I appreciate your time. Where can people find you? Yeah, dating by a plane on social media across all platforms, datingmyblaim.com and getting touched. That's where the matchmaking thing is as well. Yeah. Everything. I'll make you a great dating app profile. I'll set you up on dates. I'll teach you how to text better. Awesome. Thank you very much. Thank you.