Dylan Sprouse's Baby Got Born!!

- Okay, I'm asleep now, wait, I'm gonna be-- - Oh, my baby, you're gonna be. - Hi, little baby. - Ew, ew, ew, ew. (laughing) Ew. - Mahalo. - Mahalo. - I'm back if you can't tell, relaxed. - You're kind of my honeymoon. - You got a spider on you, but. - Did you get a sunburn at all? - No, not at all. Are you not relaxed at all? I got you, this is gift for having a child. - Thank you. That's part of the reason I'm not as relaxed as maybe I should be, even though it is a relief. - Not for me as much as it is for obviously my darling wife, but this is not a gift for me. You got this for yourself. - I want to keep it. - Yeah, you want to keep it really relaxed. - It's like, it's a honeymoon, super. - You actually have a speaking, and I watched you go. - You'll get that back. - I want that back. I was feeling relief for you, 'cause you called me. - Yeah. - You said you had your child, and it was pretty quick from the hospital to having it. - Yeah. - But it's still, 'cause I haven't seen the gorgeous daughter yet. - Yeah, she's very, very cute. - Not sure if she exists. - That's true, I hope that you could be lying. - You could be lying, I mean, she could be lying to you. Barbara did a very funny thing, where obviously like you have to eat a certain set time before you go into active labor, and she decided that a hidden valley bar was the best thing that she would eat, and she-- - Oh, a ranch bar? - No, not hidden valley. - Hidden nature. - Okay, I was like, just a bar story, I'm always thinking about my ranch. - And she ate it in the hospital bed, and got crumbs all over the bed. - She just grinned everywhere. - And that's the worst thing ever. I told her you tortured yourself. You made it, 'cause there's no amount of cleaning that you can get every hidden nature crumb off. - Did she have to have the baby in the bed? - Yes, so the baby came out and was just on granola. - She's just immediately forced into like a torture in California. - You're a California kid. - I feel like a very granola. - Born an granola. - No, but it's all very good. It's been about almost two weeks now since she's been out, and she's very lovely. Her name is Sylvie. - Sylvie, Landon. - Which I loved. - Baby Sylvie, Sylvie Sprouse. And she's a very well-behaved baby. - So let's go, let's start the beginning of that. - Yeah. - Okay, so you come to my wedding, you leave at 8 p.m. You fly back to Los Angeles, and then the water breaks four or five days later. Water breaks at home. - Water breaks at home? - That means physically or is it an expression? Like this, they were like, does this-- - No, so I'll give you the rundown. Like, this actually-- - No, no, I'm curious. - No, no, this is actually good because I realize upon-- - I mean, movies, it's like a puddle. - Upon watching all of this go down, I realized how many guys are aged, don't know any little bit about this. - So I'm gonna give a rundown. The water can break really at any time during a certain period. - Yeah. - And sometimes earlier than that, or later than that, depending on the pregnancy. But, broke it at home, and then there's a window. Like, doulas, or a thing nowadays, which I find very helpful. - Did you have a doula? - We did, we had a great doula. I've actually known for a long time, and she was saying that when the water breaks, like oftentimes, depending on the country too, like Hungary, for example, as soon as your water breaks, you go to the hospital. But when your water breaks, you can actually be waiting around in labor for a long time. It's not oftentimes indicative that you're jumping right into active labor, because the dilation is really showing you when the baby's going to be born. So water can break it anywhere from one centimeter dilated to 10. - My sister was in the hospital for a week. - For a week? - For a week. - She came out, yeah. - That's crazy. - I know. - Why, she just wanted to chill there? - Yeah, she liked the food. - I would have gone home. - I tried to. I couldn't go, 'cause it was COVID. So I was like, "Tay's much time as you need." - Oh, she's so thankful. - I know, I was like, "What else I'd probably "would have had to go every day?" - There was a moment where we got told it could be 24 hours, and Barbara and I both looked at each other and we were like, "Woo!" - That sounds short to me. 24 hours is a long time to be in a hospital, for sure. I haven't been to a hospital since I was born, really? - Yeah, just never went back. - You never broke anything? - Not going back until I died. - Have you ever broken a bug? - No, I'm strong, milk. - You've never broken a single bug? - No, of course not. - Why? - Are you like a bubble baby? - Bubble baby, no, I just, I think as a kid, I was really rough and tumble, so I just can't break bones. - I know that's not true. - You know what, feels pretty good. I've been actually losing weight recently. - You know what, it's gonna shock my family. Come Christmas? - I always play Santa Claus. They're gonna walk in Jack's Santa Claus. - Yeah, Santa. - Really cool, cool. - Rip Santa is cool. Also, maybe more like an Odin. - Odin, Odin Santa? - Odin Santa is cool. You know, that's where it started. - I don't think so. It started with the birth of Christ. - Well, I mean, think about it. - Eight reindeer. - Eight reindeer. - Eight legged horse, slight neer. - And 20% of your body fat, you can lose with diet exercise with wagovie. You know how you get it though? Go through hymns. My favorite part about this is, I hate going to doctors. Hate it, hate waiting. They're always late. Hate sitting in the waiting room. It smells weird. They're like, water in college. - He's like, he's like, water in college. - Well, I'm big of them. They've water in paper cones. - You never did. - Oh, I don't like that. - Why is it a cone? - No, I don't wanna drink out of a cone. - You can't put it down ever. - No, no. - And so you sit there. And hymns, you can just go online. Click, click, click, click, click. Get a doctor, boom. Get your prescription. Don't talk to anyone in person. - FDA approved GLP1 medication. And it's affordable. It's really easy to grab and just start taking, dude. - Soon there's gonna be 20% of both of us. Hopefully our fans don't mind. - Could we combine it into another person? - The person that lose it? Where does it go? No one knows. - I think it just dissipates in the universe. - It dissipates into the area. - Dude, if 20% of each of us just disappeared and became someone else, it'd be a very scary being. - Oh. (laughing) - A little guy. - Just 40%. - Give me our third chair. - 40% of our hearts. (laughing) - Just running around. - It's like half almost. - Are you ready to reach your goals? Visit hymns.com/wildmen to get a personalized, affordable plan that gets you. - That's h-i-m-s.com/wildmen. - hymns.com/wildmen. - Weight loss by hymns is not available in all 50 states. - Wagovii is the registered trademark of Novo Nordisk AS. - To get started and learn more, including important safety information, Wagovii clinical study information and restrictions, visit hymns.com. But that was a hospital room. Do you have to share it with anyone or no? - Depends. - You got lucky. - Okay, so we went to Cedar Sinai. - Yeah. - And that's like for anyone listening outside of California, Cedar Sinai is kind of like the big one here in Los Angeles. Cedar Sinai, this I thought was kind of shady. Cedar Sinai has upgraded post-partum room packages. - Ooh, so it's like the fast-pass it doesn't it? - Yes. - You know what's better, yeah. - Yeah, so like, and there's limited availability. So, for example, once the baby is born, you have two hours in that room. You got time to like bond with the baby for like an hour. And then in the next hour, you're out of that room. - It's quick. - They're moving you to a post-partum room. - I've had dinners that last longer than two hours. - I was like, by the way, post-labor, it feels quick. So they move you out of the room and now you're in the post-partum room. But if you don't get at Cedar Sinai, the upgraded post-partum package, you get put in a public room and it's usually just, you know, curtains between beds where you're, there's a bunch of other moms who had just given birth. And the families can come in and visit. But Cedar Sinai also allows it to be like, wow, for a payment, you can get your own private, and you can have a private with a single other room, two rooms or three rooms. - You get three private rooms to yourself? - Yeah. - What's the other rooms for? - I guess just chillin'. - Just a board day room? - Yes, just hangin' out. - A board day room in a kitchen. - It's like, it was very strange. - Yeah. - And so naturally, we were like, we want to get out of here as fast as possible. - So what'd you do? - We just toughed it out, dude. - Oh, you didn't go to the post-partum room at all. - No, we didn't. - You have to. - Yeah, you have to. - I'm sure you'd miss out on like high fives if you go to a private room. All the dads together in one room. - Okay, that's sick. - I will say there is like a coalition of dads chillin' the public space. And just like, you know, rip Coca-Cola's from the vending machine and just talk shit to each other. And it was pretty late. - He was like, what, what were you do? - Yeah. - How long you been here? - Yeah, I love that. - What are you in for? - I and everyone do. - Yeah, it was pretty sick. It was pretty sick. But that stays off your insurance, by the way. Like the upgraded post-partum package, you cannot put on your insurance. - And it seems fair to me. - It's like an actual choice. - Yeah, it seems fair, but it does, it does still strike me as a little weird. - It's a pay upgrade for you? - Yeah, to have like a loot box system for your hospital. I'm like, I don't really (beep) want that. - I want to pay extras to my colonoscopies with more people in the room. (laughing) Is that an option? Can I go? - Like 300 bucks, I get a three-room colonoscopy. - Yeah. - Do you have people lining up with their fingers out? - Oh. - But anyway, it honestly, we were really blessed. It was a safe and healthy delivery. And baby Sylvie came out, 7.8 pounds. - Ooh. - Yeah, big baby. - Big baby, she's apparently the doctor said she was long. - Ooh. - As in like she's like a new father. - Definitely not. (laughing) Short and thick. - For sure. - From her father. - And she is completely healthy. This, you know, Crack. the second she was born, which is a good thing. - Yeah. - And, and was, is it Chubby, little cutie pie? - No, no hiccups at all, how is it drive over there? - I mean hiccups, that's one thing I will say. Babies have a lot of hiccups. - Oh really? - Which sucks because like, I hate the hiccups, and I'm looking at it, and I'm like, I'm sorry. Like, you're just suffering through a hiccup, 'cause the baby you're like, watching it go. - Yeah. - If we're like, you're not scared. - Yeah, you don't want to scare me. - I was sure that cure was it. But, there's like, you could buy a straw that gathers at hiccups, huh? - Yes, it's a nice one. - You love the hiccups, huh? - It's a blue hiccup straw. And you suck through, 'cause Brickets hiccups a lot. And they go away instantly. But I don't think babies could be used yet. - And yeah, I don't think a baby would know how to do that. - It's a straw. - You know, babies actually don't know how to do anything. - So Sylvie just has hiccups constantly. - Do you get the hiccups pretty frequently? - Yeah. - Yeah, she gets the hiccups pretty frequently. - For the drive over, did you drive her? - I drove. - Yeah. - Well, it's true what most dads say, yeah, you gotta park, you gotta do the whole thing. You don't feel like the delivery is done until you have safely walked the baby in her carrier inside of your own home. - Yeah. - Okay. - That is when you feel like, okay, we're for real now. And that is kinda how it feels. Because in the postpartum room, you're pretty low sleep. - Yeah. - I'm pretty low sleep in general right now. Although she's been a good sleeper, all things considered. And you just don't really feel like it's real until like now. I will say I got asked by a buddy, and he goes like, how does it feel to be a dad? It must be crazy. And there's moments when I look at Sylvie and I'm like, this is the coolest thing ever. And she's looking at me and her eyes are opening. She's got like a small wake window during the day. And she's like looking at me and she smiles or something. It's the cutest thing my heart like jumps out of its chest. But 90% of the time right now, it's like having a baby pet monkey. - You agree. - It is having a pet monkey. Because they are, she is chirping and making noises and pooping and farting and burping and hiccuping. And it's having a really poopy little animal. - That's a good thing though. - It is. - She's gorgeous. - She is gorgeous. - Yeah. - I don't know though, am I being? - No, she's really cute baby. - You actually, you text me the picture and obviously my mom saw it and she's like, oh my God, my mom goes, that's a beautiful baby. The second question my mom had is, are these still at the hospital? I go, no mom, look, there's wood around, you know? There's a couch. And she's like, but who swaddled Sylvie? That swaddling, she goes, it's like, that's a pro swaddleer. And I go, I know, I'm like, I'll text it all, I guess. And then I came and saw you yesterday. And who swaddled the baby? - I swaddled the baby. - That's crazy. - And I gotta tell you, it's because I did a lot of origami as a kid. - It looks like it, it's perfectly wrapped full that I'm like, can you come over and do it to me? - Monica? - Yeah. - Thank you. - I appreciate it. - You could make, you could work at Spauly, do burritos, you could swaddle me. - I gotta tell you, but I had the same thought after swaddling Sylvie so often, I went, I wanna be swaddled. - Yeah. - I looked at it, she looks so (beep) comfy. - Yeah. - She's all cocooned up, she looks like a little caterpillar. - You have no choice. - Dude, and she just kind of drifts away and I go, you know the movie Temple Grandin? - No. - She's talking about like how to make livestock feel better and she, it's like the hug technique. Like they have to-- - Love sheep? - Yeah, sheep, cattle, like it's actually scientifically proven. - You have the hug sheep? - When they feel squeezed and compressed, they feel safer and they're more at ease. - That makes sense. - And it looks like, when I do it, the swaddled the Sylvie, I'm like, she's at ease. After I gave grandpa bats, I used to swaddle him, like just wrapping up tight and he would go, he'd write to sleep for like an hour. - I know. - Yeah. - But I think most creatures are like, I wanna be swaddled up. If I walk in, you were swaddled and bats was next to you, I would vomit. (laughing) - This is the most disturbing thing I've ever seen. - Are you just smiling? - No, no, it actually would be really creepy. - It would be really weird. - If we were both swaddled. Maybe we could do the next podcast episode. - Should we swaddle each other? - Ryan, can you learn how to swaddle us? Thank you. - Magic fingers. - Check out these fingers. - What about 'em? - Not callous anymore. - Why? - I used to break up this chunks of food for grandpa every single day with, who take like 20 minutes, then you'd have to put water on it. How water, mind you, and then you'd have to let it rehydrate for 10 minutes, and then you'd stir it, and then I'd put it down and grandpa would look at it and just not eat it. So let's get after all that work. - Okay. - I hate feeding dogs. - I'm going through all these steps here. So you decided to own a polar bear for some reason. And we're making the hardest meal possible. You could have done this way easier if I just go into Sundays for dogs. - Which is why I don't have calluses on my fingers. - I do. - 'Cause you know what I don't get 'em? I open the bag, I pour it on bold, put it down, grandpa. I eat it in 20 seconds, right back to TV jeopardy. Boom. 6 p.m. - Well, and everything that you need to know about it's on the bag, too. - Exactly. - You don't have to worry about it. Grandpa's got a sensitive stomach. We all know. - He's a very sensitive stomach, but I went online, and they literally do a questionnaire. And you click this, this, how like, see, sedentary I said, very, what is your allergic to, chicken, poultry, et cetera. Put it down there, how old is he? I put it down there, click, click, click. And it goes, this is the recipe for him. Order it, he eats it, like a charm. - Zero additive, zero synthetic bullshit. You can just absolutely get that dog fed up. - We're gonna have a 15-showing down on it. - I know. - That's awesome. - It's wild. - Starting a new food is a big deal, which is why Sundays for dogs is offering 30% off. Give your dog the chance to try Sundays and watch them fall in love. - Go to sundaysfordogs.com/wildman or use my code, our code. Wildman for 30% off. But that's not the only big news. - Oh, well, now first, I don't even. - You're a married man. - I am a married man, but I'd be remiss to ask my three questions I had. - Oh. - Well, first of all, Babs is doing fantastic. - She's doing fantastic. - How hungry was she after the birth? - That's where I was taken. - Okay. - Well, the funny thing is I was out of the room at one point, like getting treats before the birth. - Is that mostly vending machine treats? - Seed or soda has like a cafe. - Oh, like a cafeteria. - Okay. - But. - The Babs eat before? - No, you can only eat clear foods when you're going into labor. - What's it like noodles? - It's like pine noodles and jealous. - Like jellos and stews, like broth. - I guess. - Things I could see through. - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. - Clear foods. - It really, really thing was like-- - Trans-sturkey? - Yeah, you push it down. - Push you down, perfect. - Swiss cheese, the holes. (laughing) - Where the (beep) was I? - Yeah, were you trying to get her a snack? - Oh, oh, I love clear foods. - And the nurse was like, well, so, what food does she want to eat for after the birth? Because obviously through the pregnancy, you have a lot of restrictions for what you can eat. And I asked her and she said, I don't want to eat any of that. - Really? - I don't. I do not want to eat, like I can't even think of eating like the popular one is sushi. - Mm-hmm. - 'Cause you can't eat raw fish during it. - But (beep) and showin' down on sushi after-- - I could eat sushi anywhere. - Look, me too. But you've just, you've just pushed a baby out of your body. - Pizza would be my go-to. - Yeah, I think so. - It was like something like good, like a deep dish. - A deep dish. - A deep dish, yeah. - I would say a thin slice. - A thin? - Yeah, but a whole pie. - Have you had good deep dish? - I don't think I had that deep dish. - I think I've recognized that voice you just took on me. - Yeah. - Yeah, no, he doesn't like deep dish. - Yeah, but you also-- - Chicago. - Yeah, your quads is the best one. - P-quads. - Mamed after the boat in Moby Dick. - You can't eat it with your hands, though. - Yes, you can't. If it's good, you can pick it up like this. - But you don't. - I think I do. I think I usually do. If it's solid, like Blue Mel Naughties, you can eat with your hands. - Crazy. - Cheers. - Right after the birth. - All I'm saying is this is a bad, you're right. That was a really bad call. - You know what I'm talking about? There's certain shit you don't eat. Like, no one's gonna be like cereal and milk. (blows raspberry) - Although, that's not bad. - That sounds kind of stupid. - That sounds good. I haven't had cereal and milk in so long. - What'd you go to, cereal? - Oh, uh, easy. Free pebbles. - Damn. - That was not for all of us. - What'd you say, damn. - It's a matter. - Was it your life? - It's kind of a (bleep) - Yeah. - Well, it's kind of for babies. - Is it? - But then you said, - No. - Flaker Oats. - Flaker Oats, you said the hexagon, oak bran, brown thing like this. - Yeah. - With like, it looked like this. It wasn't the square, it was this. They discontinued it in like 2008. - Why? - It was my favorite (bleep) here. Nothing comes close to the desk. - Why they discontinued it? - 'Cause only old people were buying it and they all died. I was just like, I think my like, grandparents like to have it. So I always had it. It was a brown box called oak bran, hexagons. 'Cause they came out with the cinnamon, oak bran, rectangles, piece of shit. - They're (bleep) and the hexagons are so good. - What's your good, sorry? - I was a, I was a, get me heat it. - I was a honeycomb guy. - Yeah, you look like one. - A bear. - Honeycombs, but honeycombs got worse too. - They got worse too. - 'Cause they took away the tin foil bag they used to come in. - Yep. - And now they're in a clear plastic bag. They don't hold them crunches hard. - And they, I mean, they (bleep) tricks. - Tricks, yeah, what? They're all the same color or something? - No, they're, no, they're just circles. - They're just circles. - Yeah. - Tricks. - Stop. - I do that stuff. - I don't want to suck down balls of milk. - You know what I love about raising canes? - What? - Todd's doing every time. - Dockhead? - Dr. Kraves, every time he walks into a box, he has a raising cane. And he uses it. - See? - You know what I was thinking about the other day? - I don't see enough gizmos and gadgets anymore. - Sorry, man. - I really like that he's bringing back the gizmos and cats. - Okay, yes. - So everyone who goes down, he has the raising cane, which is like, it's like made of solid gold, Looks like a chicken finger. It's awesome. - Awesome. - That is so sick. I mean, to have a prop first off, like underrated comedy style. - Yeah. - I think that what we need to do, Doctor, I'm talking to you directly, what we need to do is I wanna rip and cut in ceremony. - Open one? Well, they just opened up Raising Cains in Fisher's War for San Francisco. And I was like, it's been my year, I'm gonna go there with my niece. She loves Raising Cains, I can drive right down there. And also San Francisco Raising Cains, desperately needed. - Desperately needed. - I mean, I don't, I know you know the food scenes in San Fran better than I do, but I can't name a place in San Fran that would have really good fingers. I think that's gotta be like, - It's just Raising Cains. - No, it's just Raising Cains. - But there's seals down there. - Seals? - Okay. - And the bush man's there, but he passed away. I don't know what you're talking about, right? - The bush man. So once you, if you walked around Fisherman's War back in the day, there's this guy named the bush man that would wear a giant bush around him. And then if you walked by, you go, ah! And like, people, tourists would get scared fall on the street. They would use a terrifying as a child. - I know, well, you used to watch them all the time. - Well, so now the streets are safe. There's no bush man. - There's Raising Cains. - One love now. - Now you can go safely and get your chicken fingers wherever you want in Fisherman's War. And then see the seals. They have this giant fat seal that claps. I forget his name, but you can like, go and check about, he's awesome. And so it's a really nice trip. - You know what I saw, I wanna say it was a few events ago. I saw Tom Brady, Dunk, Grunk in a that full of sauce. And he came out, just headed to a cup of sauce with that. - Just stealing my tree. - I know, I know. - I know it's like your dream, though. - I would like them to both put me in, I don't know, I'd put, I'd be in the sauce with them. Like a hot tub, all three of us, just talking ball. - Yeah. - Hold on. - Hold on. - Hold on. - Me and Tom Brady, Grank, incane sauce, talking ball. - Yeah. - Is it warm or is it, like, is it, is it a cool, or is it a hot tub? - It's a tough question. - I think it's room temp, just so I can have a cup and just any time. - Oh, no. - And then we can't leave, we can't leave until it's empty. - I know what's inside of the hot tub, you're grabbing your cup from, - Tom's. - Yeah, Tom's. - Tom's. - Tom's. - Might as well get a scoop. - Thank you to Raisin Keynes for continuously supporting the wild men. We love you. - It's nice to be sponsored by something I like and eat and put me in that dunk tank. (laughing) Love it. - Come on man. - So, wait, you're married man now? - Married, yeah, shockingly, with all these stories. - I wanna tell you, you had one of the most beautiful weddings I've ever seen. - Well, thank you, Dylan. I was dying of anxiety. - No, you had more gabapentin than I think I've ever seen a human able to consume. - You're really explaining this? - Okay. - I'm not a pill guy. - You're not. - Never have been, never will be until now. - Despite also being a rich guy. - She is, like, normally pills and rich kids go hand in hand. - No, I was extremely nervous as I get, terrified. I have to go out there, I have to go to the wedding, do my vows in front of everyone, which I wrote down, and then go into a dance in front of everyone, which is maybe the two things that will get you more nervous than anything else. - There's a lot of people sitting down and I was like, I wasn't nervous to get married, I was more nervous to be in front of people. I don't like that very much. - It's a performance. - Yeah, exactly, exactly. And I'm not like you an actor. So I was like terrified. - Barely an actor. - And so then Eleanor comes over when you're, if Dylan flies in at 11 a.m. 'Cause you want to get, you missed the welcome party where Wall gave a very funny speech. - I know, I'm fond of this, then. - You just called me gay. - Yeah, I knew she's called you gay the whole time. - So I've always known Brenny. He loves hanging out with guys. And then he did a whole speech about me just hanging out with guys. And he was, so I'm shocked, he's marrying a woman. I'm like, oh, that's a great punchline, man. That's absolutely prime wall. - In front of my family, my wife's family. We're like, oh wow, Brenny really likes gambling on sports and hanging out with guys. So yeah, the way he's not wrong. - I'm being everything in the world. And then, so you came the next morning at 11 a.m. I'm freaking out, I'm just nervous talking front of anyone. And I put out my talks and Eleanor comes over my sister. She's like, I don't think this is legal because it's a prescription. You can freely give them out. She goes, I have some Gava Pentan. If you want to take some, they really calm you down in 20 minutes. I'm like, I've never taken anything harder than to ad fill in my life, okay? So I was like, very scared. - Not true for the record. - Pill-wise. - I've been there with him. - Pill-wise. - Yeah, yeah. - Pill-wise. Monica. - I've triggered two beers, all right? - So I take a Gava Pentan and I swallow it. Eleanor goes, yeah, I usually take two to three to four. And she's been over a day. And so she gave me a plastic bag of pills that were broken in half. And I was like, okay, I guess I'll just take another one 'cause I was still nervous. I'm like, it's not kicking in. And I get to my wedding and I was still nervous. And then my buddy from Long Island, Garrett, who's a doctor, he had to, you know, he had a late wedding, then I four flies in, comes over. I don't get it. I'm like, I'm terrified. But guess what, I'm gonna be okay. I'm feeling better already. I've just taken a bunch of Gava Pentan. And Garrett goes, you know that's a sedative? He goes, you might fall asleep. He goes, that's not gonna help with your anxiety whatsoever. And I was like, so then he tells me that. He goes, you should take more than two pills 'cause you could fall asleep on the altar. I go, Garrett, I've taken three. And then I'm supposed to go up on the altar in like five minutes. And then I go up there, I'm like, and I am walking over, I'm like, am I getting dizzy? Am I getting, then I get anxious the opposite way when I'm like, I think I'm too under the weather. But, I went up there. I don't think they actually do anything 'cause I, my mouth, you look completely numb. Thank you, Dylan. Yeah, there's a lot of pictures of Dylan out there. Hopefully you like this in the front row. You're like, crying the whole time. Didn't happen, you never had that. Never cried. Never cried the entire time. Never cried. Got married. First dance I did eight classes for. They played the wrong version. Haven't had our wedding, too. Really, yeah. So it's just, I can do all my moves. I know, they didn't play gladiator when I walked in, which was really upsetting. I know, 'cause we needed to hold the wheat for you. Yeah, I know, I forgot to hand out the wheat, too. What were the things that we had in our hand that were like cat toys? I never saw this in my life. I didn't do, you know, I wasn't too into the PDFs. Yeah. What the f*** was that? Was that like, is that like a traditional thing? Shake it. They didn't allow bird seed in city hall. And then, of course, I've send out-- That brings up another question. Yes. Why bird seed in general? To feed the birds. So they come and fly and they wish you good luck for your wedding. I don't know. [LAUGHTER] The wedding was great, though. I went and I had to take pictures of all damn time. I will say-- I will say-- I'll have to talk to everyone. Beat you. You looked great, you did great. Your family was in the best spirits I've ever seen. They were very excited and happy. Your dad gave one of the most remarkable speeches I've ever heard in my life. And he called the band ahead of time and made them do thunder and lightning side effects when he pointed. It was like a WWF intro. It was insane. It was shocking. I mean, then he did his speech first, which I told him was a mean man move, because you can't call out to a band with thunder and lightnings happening. Has anyone to go up after and be like, well, I also love him. Like, what the f***? He goes, what I meant, Britt? The thunder clouds opened. And then they go. It was like a-- It was like a lightning. It was like a lightning. This is crazy. I was like, good dad, you're the craziest guy in the world. It was a good speech. It was awesome. And yeah, but then, of course, Britt's sisters and dad's speech was also awesome, but had a lack of sound effects, which, you know, these stars shrugged. No, that went over to sound effects during a wedding. It was one of the craziest speeches I've ever seen. If it went poorly, it would have been the most embarrassing speech of all time. So if you guys sound effects, and no one didn't have a break-its in the room, but you got a big, old applause. That would have been a crazy sound effect for the band to play with. Wait, wait. Yeah. [INAUDIBLE] Because everything falling flat. We ran out of Bud Light before dinner started. That's crazy. So my three things I was making sure was my gladiator, Bud Light, and my dance was going OK. And I kind of f***ed them all up. But everything else was beautiful, perfect, Dylanette left at 8 p.m. after dinner. Did you eat the dinner? I got one course through the-- That's fine. You had the Caesar salad. It was a good Caesar salad. They went in sometimes, you know. No, I mean-- No, I mean, it's thick, easy. I think you're being modest. That was the nicest wedding I've ever been to. I've never seen something like that. It was also like a-- City Hall is beautiful. City Hall is gorgeous. I've never been in San Francisco. Lots of marble. Yeah. There's a lot of drunk people walking around going to the mayor's office, like trying to get in. So I didn't want to. I didn't want to. It looks like a-- I mean, it looked almost greasian. Greasian, yeah. Or like Roman. I'm very interested in Greek sport. They can sport right here right now. Now that I'm married, we can wrestle as much as we want. Really? Yeah. I think so. But set it up. OK. Let's go. I'm consuming red meat as much as possible, especially when I'm in a building phase. But I do genuinely like the Omaha steaks that have been sent to me. I haven't tried their hot dogs yet. And the other thing I still have in the freezer is their chicken. They sent chicken. They have seafood options. They got the whole run. So I'm excited. The chicken breast are individually wrapped, and you can open them up. And I'm like a scared of salmon a lot. Because I think I'm going to throw up if I touch chicken. But this one, I just opened up. I took it out and I pounded them down, dipped them in egg, and then I dipped up crushed Doritos. Oh. And I did a fried chicken breast tenders Doritos Omaha steak style. If you are starving 24/7 like us, and you just need meat delivered right to your door-- I also just take it out as a snack sometimes. Because they were individually-- so I just take a little pork chop, try it out. Boom, boom, boom, eating a pork chop at 4 p.m. Just a little pocket patty, dude. Try the burger perfection flight at OmahaStakes.com today. That's 20 premium steak burgers for just $79.99. Plus, get $35 off with promo code Wild Men. That's OmahaStakes.com promo code Wild Men for $35 off at checkout. Terms apply. See site for details. and very well done. - Why, for my honeymoon, which is why I'm dressed so relaxed now? - Yeah, how was that? - Everyone's saying I'm a relaxed guy now. - Could you get Bud Lighten, why? - Only long board in my ties. And I kinda did by day eight. I was like, I wish I was having my ties with my guys. (laughing) But I did have a nice bow time. - Are you a nervous vacationer? - Yeah, yeah, obviously. - You've like, what day is your tap out? - Day, I actually started hot. There's really a lot of books on the beach. The first four red rising books. - Really? - 'Cause Pierce was coming on when we were out there. - Yeah, she just rushed up. - She loved them. - I could have to text Pierce, actually. And then day two, we get a call. The hurricanes coming in. So I'm like, oh shit, I really wanted to go swimming with the manatees. I go first of all. - Manatees? - Stingrays, no manatees. - Manatees, manatees. I was like, first of all, take my shirt off. I'm swimming with a manatee. - Yeah, first of all, you are. - I'm closer to a manatee than what we swim with. - So manatees. - So manatees. - Yeah, it's funny how when you start getting on a roll, it's almost like you're speaking patrol. Like you don't, can I? - You're like, I just kicked off the last podcast for that. - That's when we get shed on. - You like slip into such a crazy accident. It's manatee, by the way. - Manatee and manatee. - It's like, manatee. - Oh, yeah. (laughing) - Manatee. - Okay, that's it. - So okay, so the hurricane was coming in. It was called Hurricane George or something, right? - Bad hurricane name. - Terrible hurricane name, I thought so too. Coming right at the island. And we just got in. We're at the cone of village on the big island. And I'm like, oh, great wants to swim with the manoras. I'm like, okay, let's do that tonight. Before the hurricane comes in. I've never done it. I used to stay at the monarchy all the time, where they have the manoras next to the, like, were you eat dinner? - Yeah. - And you just go in with a snorkeling like, wave to him. I'm like, oh, this will be the same thing. I'm sure. - So we drove. - So we drove, we drove 30 minutes down there. And I'm like, I took the rental car, I drive down there. And you know, I'm not good at spaces. I can't leave from or anything like that. - No bathrooms. - Dude, believe me. (laughing) I packed like three diapepti bottles, 'cause you can always close the cap on a boat and just keep it there. And like a ton of ginger juice. And so we get down there. First thing the guy tells us is, okay, guys, put all your bags in here, get a wetsuit, you can't bring anything on the boat. I'm like, oh, I'm buttoned. So I put on my wetsuit and I take like five ginger juice, put them into my wetsuit on my back. I go, 'cause if I get nourishes out on the boat, I want to, you know, bite something. - Yeah. - Yeah, weird. I admit, not normal, but I get seasick and I don't like it. - Yeah, yeah, no one likes it. - All right, well, whoever signed up for this, clearly does. We, we have to get in lines and get on boats then. And they call us by name and we get on like, shoulder to shoulder, like they overbooked a Delta Force boat to go out, right? One of those, you know, with the rubber size and whatnot. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - And so we start getting lining up to the boats. It probably takes 30 minutes to get everyone on to the different boats. And the clouds just completely rolling. And then we get a mist. - I go, oh, shoot. - Yeah, yeah. - And then we look out and the boats and we start going in, we go 10 minutes out. And we just heart bigger and bigger waves, right? And I'm too bright. I'm like, Brent, we are, I shouldn't have done this. And she's like, no, this is gonna be fun. So we go out there, we go 10 minutes out. Now it's dark 'cause you have to do it at 9 p.m. And so, and I'm also, three hours up. So I'm like, it's 11 p.m. Now we're on waves like seven to eight feet high up and down and they toss in. - Which, by the way, I'm sitting erupt. Growing up surfing, when you say like seven foot safe waves, bigger than you think. - It sounds like, okay, well, it's seven feet. - No. - When you are on the ocean, seven foot face waves feel huge. - Six inches tall with me. So, they're huge. They're going in. And so the boats go, it's small boat. You know, it's going up and down. And then they throw in these lights with poles on them. And so then you have to jump in, hang on to the pole with your snorkel and the lights here and you look down. And they go, I'm like, oh, do we get it like a life jacket? And they go, no, you get a pool noodle, you put under your feet. So they were laying out there like this. And we have to swim in. It was like the perfect storm. I felt like Clooney's usual. And I swim out there and I grab the pole. And so then you're there. And I'm like, it's me and Britt on the end. We have instructor here, but we're out there with like probably 40 people. And there's like this little girl across me who's eight. And she's going everywhere. She's going all the way up all the way down. I'm like, I'll go to the lady. I'm like, is this normal? Like it's pretty choppy out here. She goes, oh, no, no, usually we would cancel this. Oh, sick, yeah, awesome. The people down the line start rowing up my biggest fear. 'Cause they're so nauseous. And they go, if you're done, you can go back to the boat. You look at the boat. It's going up and down. Like which one's worse? Being on this weird pole or the boat. I think being stranded in the pitch black water, looking down with a light. Like, at the rising to sharks. It's like they put fingers in your mouth with these snorkels. They're like extra deep snorkels. Oh, you're like, you're pretty cool. Yeah. Oh. And I'm like, and then I'm getting nervous. I'm like, I'm going to throw up. And then I'm reaching into my thing. I'm trying to get wet. I'm like, I should have brought my Pepsi. And then we're looking there for 20 minutes and nothing comes. And then I'm about to tap out and feel like I'm going to go to the boat. 'Cause like seven, I'd say like 70% of the people have tapped out by now. And they all go back. I'm just trying to stay strong. Well, I'm like, the colder I get the less I'll think about, you know, being stuck out here. 'Cause this is crazy. And then out of nowhere for giant, like the size of this romantic, he start coming up. And they start, oh, man to raise, come on. And they start swimming below us in the least, like whatever you do, don't put your feet down. 'Cause you're like, they, you can kick them or something. And then I'm like, oh, this is so peaceful. Now I'm relaxed. They're peaceful until the guys start, I'm like, by myself over here, they just are obsessed with me. They start going upside down and then putting their face, brushing my like right here in my chest. And they're like 10 feet long. He's giant monsters. And they're brushing me. And at first I'm like, oh, this is like calming. And then it wasn't. And then I was like, I, then you can't put your feet down. The guy next to me starts having a panic attack about like them coming soon. You're getting molested by man to raise in a monsoon. Well, we're going on the 10 feet dude. But he was like, that's really really beautiful. Beautiful. Yes. Yeah. And then, Brendan, this sounds like a hazing ritual. What the fuck? It was almost like, God, it was like, oh yeah, you're married now. You got, if you can get through this, you get through anything. You're the worst shit ever, immediately. Oh my God. That is. Yeah. That's actually, you know, it's very, it's often that I tell a story where you go, that's my nightmare. Yeah. Because you are an anxious guy. You're experiencing my nightmare. No. I have the last phobia. Yeah. Monsoon storm in the ocean with lights and night. A pool noodle instead of a life vest under your legs. Sea monsters are brushing up against you. That is, that's the definition of my nightmare. I will say, it made me, I was like, oh, I, you know, I made the right choice to get married. Because Britt was next to me, she was the only person who could have kept me calm. But, and I calmed down because she was there. I also like. So nice. Imagine Britt kind of being 10 tons tougher than you. Oh, she loved it. She was like, oh, we could go back tomorrow. Oh, you are. You are mine. Yeah. We finished. We get on the boat and it's choppy as hell. People are puking off the boat. The little kid I mentioned before almost, oh, and also at one point, at Britt, I go, Hey, Britt, watch this. Like, let go is a joke. I must have went like eight feet back so fast, I was like, no more joking around. And I was like, oh, this is actually dangerous. Really bad. Got pick on the boat. And then we had to wait at the dock because the other boat's got back first for 40 more minutes in the waves like this. And so then now it's like just a nauseous simulator. And I was like, send there. And then we finally get back, get in the car. I'm driving home at 10 p.m. in Hawaii. And I felt, yeah, that, and then I, yes, yeah, that was my most anxious night. What, got a lot of work to do. What day of the trip? Who, I think three. I wish I, they said, do you want to butt, like, wear a GoPro? I should have gotten it going. Oh, it's so funny to hear you go, oh, well, have a look at my struggles just out. And then they started butt rushing me. I was like, oh, my God, butt rushing. What? What? I'm Russian. Butt rushing me. Butt rushing me. Rural. But I love Hawaii. They're relaxing, besides that. Brendan. And that, I couldn't think of more opposite experiences of you having like the most Christine beautiful wedding to being thrown into a hurricane in the middle of the ocean. And then the next two days in Hawaii, torrential rains, like we had the hurricane hit. Well, it's funny, because you, I wasn't being overreacted. While you were texting about the monsoon, which I was laughing about, Barbara's water was breaking. So I was like, both things were happening the same day. The water came from both of us. Yeah. Literally, it's thunder and lightning inside of, inside of Los Angeles, which is rare enough as it is, while you're potentially dying in a storm and my wife's about to give birth. I was like, this is a crazy day. And then you text me, you're like, oh, it's like happening really soon. They're like the birth. And then I texted Barbara. And then I thought to myself, I was like, in what world would Barbara want to get texted right now? I was like, babs, I just heard the news. So excited. But send me any updates, like she just, she just had it. We were so happy, though, everyone. It was very nice to hear about the birth. It was like, I think God, we had nine months to build up. I will say, now, I'm the first to say this. Love a tough guy. Yeah. You love a tough guy. I do. I think it's awesome. I think. Dude's rock. They're cool as hell. Yeah. It's cliche to say, 'cause you know, you hear it all the time. After watching your wife give birth, women are definitively the tougher sex. - Oh really? - Definitively. - Did she like swim with mayonnaise or anything? (laughing) - I watched that dude, and first off, I will say, no, I mean, it must've been intense. - No, it feels like physically the tougher sex. - Yes. - Physically the tougher sex. I, watching that, it's crazy. This is very, I barber hated this text afterwards. She had just given birth and the stress of giving the birth for both of us was obviously enormous, more so for her. - Obviously. - It was so enormous that I got constipated, and I text her later, I was like, "Now I know what you went through." - No! - And she was like, it was a joke, obviously. But I was like, babe, I mean-- - The worst sex I was like, they made her laugh, I didn't believe it, I was like, babe, this does suck. (laughing) - She's fantastic. - She was perfect timing. - Did I know that? (laughing) - And then they choose, they have another kid too, they have to, they go through it, it's insane. - You know what I think it is? I'm realizing what it is now. Babies are so (bleep) cute, dude. - Yeah, they're so cute. - So these so (bleep) cute, and there, I think it, it feels really cool to see her learning so actively every day about everything. I think that kind of is addicting. It's weird watching her like open her eyes and hearing our voices and starting to recognize and smile, and then like understanding feeding time and nap time, and I watch the Dodgers with her like every day, and she like, it's weird, I can almost see her recognize it's time to sit on the nursing chair with me, and I go like, this is addicting, I get that. Because once this period is over, it's a different experience. You're learning something completely else with them, but that, this period right now, of like the first two weeks, and a lot of people say like the first couple of months, is so unique, it must be that like that, I can imagine why anybody would be like, yeah, I wanna do that, I don't wanna go right back. - Yeah, I wanna do that again, because it's really, really cute, too. It's really, really cute. I gotta tell you, I did not expect to like this as much as I do. Dressin' her up in little fits, dude. - I was gonna tell the audience, bro. - You go, you go, you take me, you go, thank God, I had a girl. I never, I never wanted a boy. I love having a girl with you. - You were so pumped up. - No, it's okay, I will say, yes, and part of that is because, and look, I'm sure it'd be different if I had a boy. - Yeah, I'm sure. But like, she's so (beep) cute, and I'm not sure that I would think like that if I had a baby boy, I'd be like, you'd be thinking different, you'd be like, "Oh man, a little pooper." - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - You know, get him a tank top or something. - Yeah, you're like, oh, this is fun. Get him a tank, right? But like you just think about, you just think about him a little differently, and I'm looking at baby Sylvie and I'm like, that's the cutest little thing ever seen in my (beep) life, I got this bonnet for her. - Oh. - Oh. - Dude, I love it. - I love it. - It was so cute. - I went to socks on? - Yeah, I can't imagine. - Dude, she's got the same feet that I do. - Oh, which is crazy. - This is the funniest thing I've ever heard. - Yeah, so you know, a pharterian joke, often times as you send a picture and they go, "Are you sure it's yours?" And the answer back has always been, I have a close-up photo of her feet, and I'm like, "I'm 100% sure." - Because you have unnaturally odd-looking feet. The exact same feet, the exact same feet, like, just this big. - Yeah. - And I looked at it and I was like-- - Just like gap between the big toe and the other toe. - Already there. - It's like Spock. - Already there are big toes like this much of her foot already. I was like, this is-- - And it's cuter on her, I'm sure. - 10 times cuter. - Yeah, I said. - 10 times cuter. She also has, under this dirty mustache here, I actually have a beauty mark on actually. Oh yeah, on my lip. My mom had it too. And Sylvie has it. - Really? - Yeah. - Is it like just like a Spock? - Yeah, it's just like a little mole right there, like a beauty mark on her lip. And I was like, "Dad's crazy." - That is crazy, they went down, I know. You were, your jeans were strong then. I don't know, some days I look at her and I'm like, "That's Barbara to a T." - When I first saw her, I go, "Dad looks like Babs." And then the next day, then I look at it a little more, I go, "That's kind of delineate." - She does seem like she's kind of a 50/50 split from what I can tell so far. - A buddy of mine text me and I'm like, he goes, "It kind of looks like Cole." And I was like, "Yeah, dude, what the fuck are you talking about?" - Yeah, obviously we're a tentacle twins. - We've already went over that the DNA is the exact same. - That's insane. - I was like, "Obviously, no shit, dude." - I should have texted that. - I know, it's a good job. (upbeat music) - Did you, maybe this is too much information? - No, don't ask it. - You're trying, aren't you? - Oh, no, you want a baby bed. You got baby fever, you're the baby fever. - Dude, you're the only friend I have that I can definitively say has like baby fever and it happened when Dorothy was born. - Yeah, well maybe she's a man of the cool. - I watch you go, "Well, didn't you, I mean you, the same thing happened to you when you saw your kid." It's the, and yours must be times 20. - Times 20. - Yeah, when I'm at Dorothy, I mean, I mean, Dorothy's still best but, we watch Scooby Doo all the time. - By the way, when you face me with Dorothy, - Did I? - Yeah, does she call you Bobo? - Yeah. - That's the King Bobo. - She calls me King Bobo. - And I don't know. - Yeah. - That's the cutest thing I've ever heard. - I gotta call her King Bobo. - Yeah. - When she had the Chinese restaurant last month, she goes, "And a beer for my uncle." (laughing) - No! - We're just ordering it. - Yeah, well no wonder you got baby beer. That's the sickest thing ever. - She was Bobo, King Bobo. She actually bought us, it's funny you brought it up. I think I might have a picture. She bought us a doll of King Bobo that we're gonna put up here next time. Probably right up there, yeah. So Redhead guy with a crown, she goes, I found a doll of you, I got perfect for the set. - How old is Doran's four? - She's gonna turn five in there. - Four seems like it. - She's old. - She's like, who will this hell? - Yeah, she think of everything. She follows movies now, like she can watch movies and tell us where to live. - That must be the best. - It is sick, yeah, we watch it. - Because I, I will say like, obviously, I think like couples are divided like this in general, when you're like with someone you really love. Oftentimes it seems to me like there's a, there's a very pragmatic thinker of the two, and then there's like a feel. - Yeah, you're the feel guy. - I'm the feel guy, and Barbara's the pragmatic thinker. And I will say that in like the beginning, when it seems like it's front loaded, that like the beginning is much more like pragmatic. You need to be very rigid with the schedule, you need to make sure everything's dialed in, have, you know, know your ship before you go into it. But it seems like around the four time, then it's kind of your like feeling thing. - Yeah, I'm trying to think about Dorothy. Dorothy was like two, she could really, like once they can start sitting up and looking at it, you know, and like, I taught her very early to touch fingers with me across the table. And then I was just like, we're like ET, like you can do it, ooh, feel like that. And it was like, the face bump, yeah, exactly. - Sorry, getcha. Once you can interact, and there's like the, you know, exchange of conversation, then you feel like you're like a true human. It's crazy, like she's likes and dislikes as well. - I know, that's crazy to me. You know, I, when I was, I wanna say I was like 18, my dad's best friend had his second kid. - Okay, yeah. - And so the first kid, Lucas, was already about like four when Benny, his little brother was born. - Got it. - And then for like, you know, you know, we didn't know this since they've been growing up. What's crazy to me was to meet Benny for the first time and to see that at birth, Benny had a personality. - Yeah. - Okay. - Like a definitive personality, and Lucas did too. But Lucas was my first real example of that. So I didn't know, I thought babies were kind of like, blank palettes, and then gained things. But Benny was, Benny was interesting because as soon as anyone met Benny, even as a baby, they were like, Benny's a particular guy. - And Sylvia, a particular guy? - I think she's, like, I didn't meet Benny when he was two weeks old. - Okay. - I think I can already start to see the semblance of some personality. - I'm sure, I mean, that makes sense, right? - And it's funny to think that that's, I don't, I obviously don't know the science behind any of this. - Well, horses come out walking. - What? - Genetic, like genetic DNA memories, something that animals have that you might have. She might come out of a person like you, yeah. - I hope she's gonna come out of me. I will say that she stretches a lot. - Does she? - It's really funny. Yeah, she like, no matter what she's doing, she goes, you stretch quite often. - Yeah, I was like, that's weird, 'cause I do that shit. - So the only genetic memory you passed on was stretching. - It's just, I think she might be, and I'm calling it now, I think she might be a little lazy like me. - Oh, no. - I think she might be a lazy bum. - She's a lazy bum. - I think she's a lazy bum. And I think I'm already starting to see it because when she's feeding, she'll, and this happens with a lot of babies, but she'll drink and then she'll go, no. - Just sleep and pass out. - That's pretty nice. - And then if you try to wake her to feed her some more, she'll go, no. (laughs) - And she'll like shake her hands and shrunch her face, and I'm like, That's the funniest shit. - You sure she's not laughing at all? - Yeah, it's just you. - It's not laughing at all. I'm like, "I can't, it's so funny." She's like, "No, no, no, no." And I was like, "This is crazy." - That's awesome. - It's awesome, but I was like, "This is like, I wonder, are we born with our personalities?" - Nature and nurture, baby. - Was Cole always a curmudgeon? - He was always, he was. - I think he was. - I've known him. - 'Cause my mom used to call him the Colonel. - Really? - Yeah. 'Cause she was like, he's kind of bossy and he's like, you know, he's like, "No, no, no, no." And I was like, "Maybe he was born with it." - Well, you just have a lazy, sweet baby, which is probably the best thing you can have. - Dude, I'm in heaven. - Yeah. - I'm in heaven. - Yeah, it's not better than that. - And I, you know, I'm the, we only have such a small family. You know, like my dad, my brother and I, so I'm the first one in our direct family besides my dad with us to have like a baby. And so no one's, my dad is not gonna teach me anything. - It's been so long, it's been 34 years. - It says to the baby. - Yeah, it's a baby third round. - He came to the hospital. - Yeah. - And the one thing I was worried about, which he did immediately was that he was just gonna handle her like a car tool. - And he was like, "Ah, come here." - I don't know. - No, that's a sign of a pro though. - It was a pro, but when you, it's like not even a day. - And you're freaking out. - So what the (beep) (laughs) - Dude, he's like holding like a cat, picks up. - He's like, "Elder's in it by my mom." - Dude, so my mom just goes like this. I was like, "Oh yeah, great baby." - He's like, "Oh yeah, but they know how to do it." - I can trust the elders, dude. - Barbara is, we obviously have to divide the time. Like I get night shift a little bit and she'll take like day shift advice for us. There's this video I want you to pull up. - Oh, here we go. - And it's so fun called "Russian Baby Yoga." Check this out. - Is this what I did to Grandpa? - Check out "Russian Baby Yoga." - I would stretch 'cause you could stretch up, right? - I want you to see this video. It's very important. I send Barbara this video every time she's like, "I think I'm gonna lay down for a nap, could you look after her?" - I'm like, "I'm gonna do this." - Here we go. - Oh wow. - Oh (beep) - Toss it over in the air. - Watch this shit. - Oh my lord. (laughs) - I send this to Barbara every time she's like, "I'm gonna go lay down for a nap." I was like, "I got her." - I got her. - I got her. - Oh, this is crazy. - Dude, I bet you get stretchy. - I perished it off the best billy. He probably got this. - Don't throw it. - She is doing it. - Throwing around this baby like it is a toy. - It's like a pinwheel. - She's looking at it. - She's doing it like you're gonna like, rat tail like a body and a locker room. Like she's (beep) throwing this thing. And so I send that video to Barbara every time she's like, I'm getting a little tired. You mind taking a shift? - Sure. - I got her. - Center the video. - All right, pre-sufficient. - We were whoo, we were whoo, we were whoo, we were whoo, we were whoo. - Fucking do this. - Spare a ball finger. - To the basketball. - Have you sung her "Fear Jacque" or anything yet? - Is that what you're feeling? - The "Fear Jacque" is like, if I thought of a baby song, I'd think of that. - Fair Jacque. - I kind of just make something up on the fly. - Do you? - Yeah. - Free style? - Yeah, I freestyle. - Yeah, man, yeah. - That's cute. - Yeah, you are. - You're a little baby. - You're my little baby. - Yeah, you just-- - Who'd he was my big one? - Who'd he in the bluff is? - There's my dad if he put on who'd he, I could fall asleep. - I want to look at some of these notes that I took for you. - Oh, good. - You don't know what I thought. - Oh, about your baby? - Yes. I find it really hard to listen to when anybody does it. Okay, I find it extremely, extremely difficult to listen to. And it happens a lot in the house right now, as you can imagine. But then I noticed that Barbara has a very similar baby animal voice that her mom does. And I have a very similar baby animal voice to my dad and my brother. - Yeah. - And I think I'm positing that it's a learned reaction to what our parents kind of give us when they interact with animals. And we take that as the baby animal voice. - Yeah. - I think it's inherited. - Yeah. - I think a baby, like a pet voice, I go, "Oh, do do do." - Culturally? And then location wise, yeah. - I think, but directly, inter-familiarly, I think you inherit your family's baby and dog voice. What are you-- - I'm Sylvie. - I'm Sylvie, yeah. - To your voice. - Okay, okay. My voice. - Oh, great. - I can't help you, I love you, wow, that's my voice. And my dad does the same thing. - The weird impression that's odd, we do one more time. - I don't wanna do it one more time. - Why is he-- - He's not like Peter Laurie. - Okay, I'm asleep now. Wait, I'm a baby. - I'm a baby. - I'm a baby. - I'm a baby. - I'm a baby. - Hi, little baby. - Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. I don't like it at all. Is that-- I can't be real. - Hi, little baby. Ew. Ew. You sleep so well. (laughing) - I really don't like it that well. Sylvie, two weeks. - Oh no. - You dad's up. - I mean, two T-daps. Just so my voice is louder. - Wow. - I'm not letting you anywhere near yourself. - That's so scary. - Oh, man. - That is so scary. - Oh. (laughing) - Thanks for listening. - Yeah. Well, hey, before we go, I wanna teach you something real quick. - Okay. - I wanna teach you how to fake yawn properly. - I was thinking about this. - You think I fake yawn. I'm just stretching my jaw. - No, you fake yawn and everybody here knows it. And I'm not gonna let you get away. - Why in what situation do I do it? - Every time we have to do an outro for an episode of the guest, you go, "Ugh." (laughing) - Like the show it's over, you think, or is it? - I don't know. And by the way, so if I would like you to look up the psychology behind fake yawn. - Don't look up that. - I wanna see if there's some weird thing. - No, it's contagious. - No, well, you're making it up, so it can't be contagious, right? See, this is how you do it. But I wanna get you, it's a visual to me, not being rude. That says Dylan, (beep) wrap up this story. - I know, wrap up this story. - Well, let me teach you how to do it right. - Okay. - I'm gonna teach you. First off, you're not doing it wide enough. When you actually yawn, it's an expression you really can't control, because you're like. - It's like sneezing. - Well, it's a full facial stretch, right? - So you actually have to stretch more. When I'm watching you fake yawn, you go like this. (laughing) - Right? - You got fake yawn. - But when you really yawn, it's like a, kind of, it's an impulsive, like, eh, right? It's a full stretch. You're stretching your face, right? So I want you to try that. - Is it open your mouth? (laughing) - I try to make it like this way. - No, you made it smaller than asshole. Open it more. - No! - All right. Don't yawn, people have more of an oval mouth. That's why I'm trying to. - What the fuck are you talking about? - You know what, it's not an oval. Well, mollo everybody. - Mollo. - Hello dad. (laughing)