Durand Bernarr’s Slow Burn to a GRAMMY Win

Today's guest is a true original, an artist with unreal vocals, undeniable presence, and a level of authenticity you can feel. He started on YouTube, caught the attention of the one and only Erica Badoo, and in case you missed it, he just won his first Grammy. It feels like the rest of the world is finally catching up to what the fans have always known for a long time. Durand Benar is it, honey. So let's not waste another minute, because baby, this is Geeky Palmer. Please welcome Durand Benar. Yes, I'm so good to see you both. Listen, I'm trying to get like you and I'll grow up. You know what's so funny when I'm like, oh my gosh, we're going to get Durand. I'm so happy. We're basically the same person. I know. We haven't seen them in the same room, so we had to just clear that up. How are you? Feeling good today? Feeling great? I feel awake. I know that's for sure. Actually rested. Well, I'm happy that you did these pre-show pull-up questions because now I get to get it to your mind just a little bit before we get it to our combo. Obviously, your name's Durand, D, Benar, Zodiac sign, NDA. Now, what does this mean? You don't tell nobody about Zodiac? I mean, you know, my birthday September 16th, but you know, I don't give a damn about that. I don't give a damn about that. I don't give a damn about that, I don't give a damn about that, I don't give a damn about that. It's like what are the standards of it, too, yeah, that it can drive you crazy. Okay, do you know your big three, initial here, signature here, date there, I'm loving this resistance to the science thing because it does sometimes as a person that loves this zodiac, it can sometimes stop the opportunity to just get to know in real time. How did you come up to these conclusions so fast about me, you know, you can do that. Okay, so what are you most grateful for today? I woke up steel black and not straight. Oh, period, not straight. See straight as a construct, just like, you know, whiteness, see, they're sisters. So, yeah, no, I just woke up feeling like myself, you know, and of course, you know, yes, it's just, you do look good. That's what I got from this. Also, still fine. Still fine. Okay, a relationship or friendship non-negotiable for you. Line is stealing. Come on now. The stealing is so crazy because why would you do that? Because if you can lie, you can steal, if you can steal, you can lie. It's so true because in order to steal, you had to lie. That part. Okay. What's a question you wish you were asking more interviews? Okay. Actually, I've been asking enough questions. However, I love a, hmm, that made me think questions. Yes. Okay. Those are hard to do. I know. The, hmm, that made me think questions. That's when you get like real esoteric or real like, what do you believe are aliens true? Or just get you some open-ended question card games. Like, listen, there's a cheat code. Are you one of those, do you play, do games with your friends? Like, have a game party and y'all do like, what is the question game there by cards with humanity? Cards with humanity. I didn't say that. I do cards with humanity not spades, though. Spades. So you don't like to argue? It's not that I don't like to argue. It's just, I don't know. You're from Cleveland. I don't know how. You're from the like to play space. I don't know how to play space because no one taught me. And so now, I'm too far, too far ahead. I feel like I was able to get into anime as an adult, but spades, I'm too far ahead. Do you know where I'm from? Personally? No, no, I don't. You guys were getting along so well. She's really killer at spades. I'm seeing me and you at the crib. She's teaching you how to play spades. I'm teaching you how to play spades. And we're going to just be spades fathers. I mean, I guess I can, if there was going to be anyone that could teach me to do anything I would trust Black women, too, to guide me in the right direction. We love that. Okay, who is someone that you met that made you feel Star Trek? I really relate to this. I mean, the Jennifer Lewis. I have not reacted to any other person ever. Yeah. I mean, even the very first time that I encountered her, I was at Essence, and it's all this loud music and everything, but I saw her and I'm tapping my publicist like, oh my god, there's Jennifer. Do something. Do something. So, of course, that was not, that was not the- Do something gave me life. Do something. That's so true. No, we had our actual mama. She surprised me at the closing of my tour at the L. Ray. And I, when I tell you my inner child, popped out- What is your first thing that you could remember of Jennifer Lewis? Because I was thinking about that the other day because I'm a huge fan of hers. And I was like, I don't know what the first thing I saw of her was because I just always knew her in my world. I think my origins for Jennifer Lewis would have to be what's love got to do with it. That's probably the one for all of us. She didn't mean ass mama. Yes. These, these persons getting loads out around my neck girl. It's probably all about him. Chitlin's you as eating. There he is. That's- Wow. Oh my god. I love a line game. I love us. What movie is that from? Okay. What's a mantra you live by and why? Of course you're a slow burn. You're the son. Not a watch. Not a match. Not a match. Sorry, Chow. My reading was off. Now, who is Dr. Wilson? Dr. Wilson is a friend of mine that I've known since my teen years. We're actually on year 20 or 21 of being in each other's lives. So yeah. He's a doctor now also, well, two degrees. So a doctor and a PhD, and I have a Grammy. So it's just like we are in our fields really killing it, but that is someone that I absolutely look up to and just value their opinion. And they said this to you when? This was maybe 2016-ish when I was right around before I put out the sound check EP and I was wondering, what do I need to do to really get my foot in the door? Sure. Do I need to change myself? Do I? It's being a slow burn. He was like, well, baby, of course you're a slow burn. But the sun, not a match. And also, when you think about the makeup of our galaxy, all this stuff revolves around the sun. We try to act like she won't matter. That part. Okay. She'll set some **** up in here. Okay. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. Dr. Wilson. You mentioned 2016, and that makes me have to bring up this picture. Remember this moment that we had, I feel like we both was with our moms. I don't know. Yes. I was my mom. That was when I first moved out there. We were at a Roman cafe in Studio City. You were just so sweet. You was like, of course we could take a picture. And I think that might have been either before or after I did. Remember that, remember your television show that you had and we had the choir come in. I was in the choir. Yeah, the Just Kiki. Was this just Kiki? This was in 2016. 2016. So it must have been. Oh my gosh. They gave you a talk show like you had. Yeah. It was just, it was what it was. Yeah. That's crazy. I was also, when I was looking at this picture, I was thinking to myself, this was also not the first time we met. We had met briefly before then. And then this is when I started being able to put a face to you and being like, and then I started seeing you everywhere, you know. And I was just like, yeah, I like that dude. And we all do. So we're here today, and I'm so happy to kick back and talk with you, Bay, because congratulations are an order. You are a Grammy winner, and this is so obvious. Like, I mean, I don't think that any of us are surprised, but it's always good to just, you know, be able to sit that up on the mantel piece. How are you feeling? What is the energy giving? The energy is, I keep having these moments of realization that it's, that it's a thing. Sure. Because 48 hours after, I, one, I'm jumping right back into work. So it's very little time for me to actually sit and revel in some things that have taken place because we're already moving to, we have to work on this, we have to get that together. And the thing about asking, like, what's next when the, the, the, it hasn't even been engraved yet. And I'm, we're already moving on to the next thing. So it kind of feels like, okay, okay, great, you won your little Grammy. What you want to do now? I, I just want us to be able to revel in our accomplishments when they happen so that it's not this vague memory that we have later on down the line. Yeah. Of course. I mean, so take me to the night. Did you think you were going to, because you were nominated for in route in the same category that you're prior, and then with Bloom, the album that you won for, the Best Progressive R&B album, three nominations, I mean, did you expect to win any of them? I mean, I know that's a crazy question, but you, you're confident and you know you're you. So I mean, did you think, hey, I'm about to take it home or what you kind of nervous and apprehensive. Sis. Sis. Me. Me counting myself out is the reason why I ran down that aisle because I set all the way in the back. I'm like, let me just be by the exit. So when they do not call my name, I can just get down to it because last time I was sitting a little further up toward the stage, so I had to do that long walk. That was where I was. and white chug, so you couldn't miss me. So I was like, "Y'all gonna get me like last time. I'm just gonna." So when they called my name, I'm thinking when he said a bloom, I'm thinking he said, "Blow." So I was like, "Okay, oh geez, he don't need "to do some work behind the scenes. "Okay, geez, he's crazy." - Ma'am. And so when they said, "Boop, Durand Binaw," I said, "Oh no, that's me. "That's me, that's me." And so I had to run down there. And I had that had a mule on. There was no support on this hill. So I had to, my toes was hanging on right grip and please don't. - But yeah. - I mean, so did you think, I mean, when you think about in route, even just the name of it, and then we have bloom. I mean, those go perfectly together in the conversation that you were maybe having with yourself. Do you feel like the album, the bloom, that it matches that win, that it represents this era in your life? - I think it's a beautiful project that have gotten this kind of acknowledgement because it is my open love letter to my friends that have become my family. - Yeah. - And, you know, my publicist was, you know, when we were talking about content for new albums, he was like, "I think it's time for the love album." - Okay. - And so, but what is my approach to love? I know everybody wants to talk about relationships. No, you did me wrong. I mean, you coming back, girl, this, that and the third, but what about the relationship with our friends? They have seen, their shoulders have seen so many different versions of tears. - Okay. - My friends are tired. - Yes, no seriously. So, I needed to acknowledge that and lift that up, de-center the romantic love. Talk about our support system are tried. And so, the fact that that garnered that kind of attention, thank y'all, I just, the support system is so key. - I love that. I love that congratulations again. And let's talk about the category 'cause we hear a lot of different feedback that artists feel with the Grammys in their categories. You have an eclectic sound. This is progressive R&B. How do you feel like that category defines you, if at all? - Progressive, I would say, is right up there with what I'm doing because it is progressing. It is constantly progressing. I always want to try new things. I always want to incorporate all of my influences into the work. - Yes. - So, I think being progressive, I feel like that fit perfectly. - Yeah, yeah. That run up to the stage, I mean, it was crazy viral. What were the comments if you looked at any of them that were gagging you? - Okay, okay, so the first one was, my publicist was the one that was running after me, by the way, Sean Amy. So, I had forgotten where I put my written speech. And so I was just going to my phone to get the notes. And he's like, "No, no, no, you wrote this like here, here, get this." So people were saying two things, that I was trying to take a selfie from the stage to show everybody that I won. That was the first one. The other one was, "I was hurrying up trying to change all of my BIOS to Grammy award-winning." (laughing) So, it's just, I'm so glad that I'm on this side of social media when it comes to virality, because you, ma'am, are queen of memeification. So, for me to be in the number of, "Oh, you might have broken Cynthia Reevo's record for the most memeable things in one night." I'm like, "Oh, I'm up there." - Cynthia with this (beep) - Baby! - This is my life line. - Or the order. - Yes. - Whoa, whoa. - Yes, my life line, yes. - Thank you, I'm thinking. (laughing) - Oh my god, I have to sit there, we love you. - Shout out to Cynthia, we love you. She could sing the house down. Okay, so let's talk about the craziest thing that's happened in the last few weeks. I know that you said that people are like, "What's next, what's happening with you?" But let's talk about the congratulations. What DMs, what experiences have happened? If any, that you feel like have prompted from people seeing you on this stage, 'cause you've been killing it for a while, but it's always different for a reason when these institutions come out and be like, "Yo, day to one." Even though you already knew they wouldn't want it. - Yeah, it's one thing to know that you're amazing. It's another thing when the world realizes that. That's, that can be a little. (laughing) But I think the thing that is the most gratifying out of all of this is the fact that my parents are still here to see this. And my parents are boomers. So they're older parents. My mom was 41 when she had me. So they said it was a geriatric pregnancy, the shade. - The shade of it all. - Of it all. And I'm her one and only. So I was always curious about what accomplishments or what things in my life, what I'd be able to share with them in this realm. And so for them to be present. - I love in this realm. - In this realm? - I wish you there. - Oh yeah, for them to physically be there, specifically like my mother. It's just I, I've always said that my peak of life has been my parents. The support, the love that I have with them, how we have nurtured one another. We have really been a team. - Yes! - Like the tripod is a real thing. So I, everything else that happened in life is a perk. It is the cherry on top, but they are my foundation. - Babe, when I tell you, I could not relate to you harder. The love of parents, of their support, of them seeing you for who you are, never trying to change you, but just championing you for being who you are. I hate to say I didn't realize how rare it was to some degree. - Yeah, oh. - You know what I mean? 'Til I got older and I realized, okay, some, you know, everybody didn't have that. - Yeah. - That, that with their, and you, and also we did nothing to necessarily deserve it. Like it's like, I was just born to this. - I was just born to this. - Yeah. - And just what happened and so honoring them and always calling that I think is so huge, 'cause I definitely feel like it's the whole entire reason I am who I am today. Well, let's get it to also the fact that your parents are really gifted and talented as well. I mean, your dad was like a sound engineer who worked with Earth, when in fire, Whitney Houston, Till Scott, Eminem, and then your mom's a vocal coach and a music, a church music director. So what was it like growing up and getting the influences of their world? - It was a loudhouse. - The house was loud. There was never a quiet, the only time it was quiet is when we were not there. - Oh my gosh. - That is the only time that house was quiet. - That's life. - And I love that because, you know, dad play bass, you know, my place, piano, we're all like, there's instrumentation, I mean, not just us, but there's other people on my cousin, Yani. - What up, Yani? - Yes, he produced "Say I" by Tracer, yes, that, that, yeah. - Oh my gosh, not say I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. - Yes, all the, all the, I mean, she, Missy Elliott, he's done stuff with Maya. - Wait, wait, wait, you're talking about Yani? - Yes, that's my blood cause, my first time. - You know that Yani produced so many songs on my, on my EP, back in like 2013. I mean, we did a bunch of stuff, him and Aja, who was also on, you know, the "Ease of Rays" show, rap, rap, rap, rap, rap. - Yes. - I mean, we was all in the studio for a whole summer. I didn't know that Yani was your cousin. - Love cousin. - That's crazy, good people. - Yes, absolutely. Shout out to Yani. - Mm-hmm, that's fire. - Okay, so looking back, growing up, when did you feel that this was also going to be your career? Because also, I mean, just because your parents didn't, it didn't mean that you had to follow in their footsteps. Was it on the way you thought, oh, maybe I'm gonna do something different, or were you always like, I'm gonna be an entertainer? - I always say that music took me serious before I did. It was always in the curriculum, cause not only was my mother a music teacher, but she was like, she taught in public schools. So. - Okay. - 20 years before I came along. So she had a different level of patience. I've heard that people who wait until later on in life to have children, they have a different level of patience. - Yes, I don't feel like it makes total sense. - So, cause they're not trying to discover themselves. You know, music has always been implemented even into the lessons, you know, of what I'm doing. She was teaching me how to do the days of the week and months of the year and all that into jingles, you know. - 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50, 55, 60. I can count by five. - Just a little bit. - I need the kids album. - You need the kids album. - You think I'm playing. - Oh no, I've been, there are so many jingles. - Maybe. - I need to do it. It could be an EP. - Oh my gosh, for the kids, they need this. - Yeah, those are actually children and elders are probably some of my favorite audience members because they have no filter. - Yeah. - Like, if they like you, that means they like you. - Seriously. - So, yes. - So, you know, it was always there for you. - It was always there. - It was probably around 12, when I had a solo, when I had a solo in church, I believe I can fly, that's what I was singing, Lord. - Listen, we all, we can't, at some point. - The inspiration of song. - That part, and I had my note at the end and the folks was going, you know, crazy in APU, somebody ran up and down the aisle. - Come on. - I was like, okay, I was like, this because of this. - Got it. - And then 16 is when my dad brought me on the road with Earth Wind and Fire as a production assistant. - That's crazy. - So, I was able to actually see the process of how the show is put together. - What was it like looking at Earth Wind and fire them? That's crazy, babe. - See what's crazy, see the party is, I never got a chance to view them from outside. - You knew I'm a fan. - It's always been my uncles, you know? So, but still they're amazing. - Yes, of course. - But it's like, I, the struckness of it. - Yeah. - Is they were, they're family to you. But I mean, it shows those influences you having, those of course, not everybody can say that those are their family members. But it makes sense because your music has the same sense of soul, integrity, and intentionality. But it's just amazing to just imagine a young Durant up on there running through there like that. - Listen, from seeing folks warming up before the shows, stretching, tuning up their instruments. If the show started at 8 o'clock, everybody was in place. It's 7.59, 59. - I love the professionalism. - Oh yeah, now Tony Bullock ran a tight ship. - I love that. What is something that you think people wouldn't, maybe not even realize, but that is so imperative that you learned back then that you still keep with you now? - Your work ethic will definitely proceed you. You're, how you treat people, how you show up, like that, people talk. And so I always pride myself to make sure that I am a conducting an environment where everyone feels safe and seen. - Yes. - I, I don't ever want to feel like nobody can tell me anything. So that's why I trust the people that, you know, we put in place to be the eyes that I, you know, in the back of my head. - I think I did it. - You did it. - You did it. - I got you to sue, yes, I love a, hmm, that made me think. - Yes, no, we are with. - I nailed it. - So you've been working in the industry for 20 plus years. - 20 plus years. - 20 plus years is a long time, but then recently, February, 2026, you were called a rising star in R&B. And whenever I see this with artists such as yourself, I always think about Luke the Vandross. And even people have set the same thing with me. Wow, this is really your time. And it's like, you know, it happens a lot. That statement is quite interesting. - I think about Luke the Vandross is, I don't know who he was interviewing with, but they were like, how does it feel? And he was like, well, white America is walking up to me, but I mean, you know, my folks have always known me. So I pose it back to you. Like when you see rising star, do you, do you feel any way about it? Is it kind of, okay, that's just like the institution, that's just like how it is. But, you know, what are your feedback when you see that? - Well, again, going back to the quote, we're a slow burn, like it's always been burning. It's a matter of how much material has been put into that flame to make it ignite, but it's always been burning. So it's just a matter of, y'all are starting to feel the heat now. - Yeah. - Y'all are feeling the heat. I've been hot. - Okay. - Y'all are just not feeling the heat. So it's fine. - Yeah. - Whenever you listen, better late than never. - Okay, 'cause you're about to get cooked. - That part. - Um, so-- (laughing) - Fried, like an eggshell, okay? - Okay, baked. - Was there ever a moment though, looking back and you kind of mentioned it now, too, when we were talking about that 2016 and you had that conversation with Dr. Wilson, where you did think, okay, what is it gonna take for me to get there and, you know, wrestling with what it could look like to, you know, compromise or change, even before you even knew what exactly you were trying to say or be, and even moreover, how did you stop yourself from leaning into what so many do? - Well. ♪ Baby, this is, keep all my, yeah ♪ - You know your girl loves to travel. Some of my favorite trips have been with my fam to far off places like Rome. But this spring, we're eyeing a more local spot like South Carolina, because our non-negotiables are delicious food and a beach, where we can have fun, but also get some much-needed R&R. And when I'm planning where we're gonna stay, I'm not only thinking about logistics, like where is everyone going to sleep, but also how can I really experience the place I'm visiting? That's why I book a stay on Airbnb for family trips. We get to stay in neighborhoods where locals actually live and really connect with the city through authentic experiences. Plus, everyone can spread out with separate bedrooms, like my son's bedtime, doesn't have to be my bedtime, and we've got a real kitchen to cook some meals together if we end up staying in. It's also way more cost-effective than booking multiple hotel rooms. We all get our own space, but still come together to create those genuine memories. For that kind of trip, hotels just don't give us what we need. Find a home for your next family adventure on Airbnb. (upbeat music) - I was having a conversation with a homie who was doing background for a Gladys Knight. - That was. - Who I call bravery as them as a viewer. And I was just venting to him. He came over to my apartment out in LA at the time, and I was just venting him about, yeah, I think I just got to just not be myself. So I can at least get my foot in the door. We got to feed the beast somehow some kind of way. And he was like, please do not make me take this part of my hand and go across your face. 'Cause there is no way that you need to compromise yourself. There is absolutely a way for you to be commercial and still be yourself. And so, plan him some songs that I did, 'cause mind you, I was always recording by myself. I would get sent the tracks. I would work on my own, send it back to the producer. Oh, this is tight and everything. Yeah, because I'm singing. But the catching this, the recipe I hadn't quite got. - Sure. - So when, a viewer was listening to the stuff he said, okay, your voice sounds beautiful, but these melodies, they're just, I don't know what you're trying to do right now. Like this is just, no. And so we started working together on Fly on the Wall, which was on the Soundcheck EP. And I was about to repeat the hook. He said, no, no, let's go somewhere different. Let's do something like that. And so once I realized, oh, that's what the recipe is. Something catchy, something that everybody can sing along to something that's a earworm. And so once I got my own formula, then that's when we came up with Durand, with stuck and company. And so I got it now. - And I mean, that's, I feel like everybody has to find their own formula on their own way. But what are those touch points? Like for me, I've always been into diversifying. You know, that's always helped me to aid to sustain. We had that multiple jobs 'cause we got to feed the investment. You know, and that would always teach me something new about myself. It would help me to find what made me Kiki Palmer, the one that people know today. For Durand, what was that process like? Did it look like going to certain clubs? You know, or going and listening to Mike Knight, or going and doing a little freestyle. Like what were those things that helped you to get those creative juices flowing to be able to concentrate that sound and find that formula? - Mm, so I was definitely going to jam sessions. - Thank you so much. - And also we can't negate my artist development from church and theater. - Come on. - So we have, we have a lot of ground work that was taking place before we even got to, let's figure out what this looks like and what it sounds like. So jam sessions locally in Cleveland, and then I would go to different places like out in DC, shout out to Bohemian Caverns and Laurena Pickney. I would go there for, you know, just to get your feet wet in these different markets. And also collaborating with other people. Like it's not something that, as I said, if I don't have to do it alone, I don't want to do it alone. Creating and music is like a really vast playground. While I can rip and run on the monkey bars and go down the slide by myself, it's so much better when you have someone there or other people there that have just as much as imagination as you do. And also I would like to shout out to you for not gatekeeping. Like when you were talking about how do I, someone was asking you in an interview about how did you get certain things in a way and you were just breaking it down. Like well, actually, this is what I did. I put it into my own production. I did this and that. So I want to thank you for being there because I like to spread, you know, whatever wherewithal I can to help someone because you never know what that could do. And it's not necessarily saying this is, you know, what's gonna get you in the door, but this is how I did it. This is my template. Take what works, you know. Yeah. And I think it's important for people like us to do that because we do move pretty much independently. Like even when I collaborate with major companies, I'm sure you feel the same way. It's like, it's still very much, this is me doing that. Yeah. And I think it's important that people understand that there's a way to sustain and have success that way. You might not always get whatever the attention you think you need. But at the end of the day, the cream rises to the top. What's true is gonna always be true. How has your relationship with validation evolved over the years from what you thought you would need or what you made sense to having so much of it, you know, and how that impacts what you think of it? I think the most validating part right now is the fact that I'm where I am because I'm myself. I've genuinely been able to be myself. And there are updated versions of that. But at the core, I am myself. I feel inside of myself, you know. And again, I just, yeah, you know, I'm just so glad. Like it doesn't even feel like a nine to five. And I'm pretty sure that you can relate to this. But our careers are also our children. Yes, baby. It is a whole child. Sometimes it's a child or sometimes it's a teenage. Sometimes it varies an age, okay? Sometimes it's like crazy. Sometimes she's cool. It's a lot, but it's my heart. And I really do. I love that you put as a child because it's like, yeah, like it's really what I care about. It's really what drives me and what I love. And just it brings me so much joy to be able to, I don't know. I guess this is what a typical artist would say and feel to be able to externalize my inside world in this way. It really is just like that's freedom. You recently said, not only am I still independent, but I'm black. I'm not straight. I'm not unclocable. And I'm still singing the house down on my worst day. I just live for you. You know what I mean? Because I feel that this is all so mean. Yes, absolutely. I'm also identifying with every single thing. You said agree, agree with me. Yes, yes. Yes. I mean, how has Ming an independent artist been able to solidify that path for you? - I just want to start out by saying that when I emphasize that I'm independent, that is not me in any way saying, "I don't need help. "I don't need support." - Yes. - I'm just making sure that you know that. I've gotten to this point with what I have. Where, as my creative director, Mel says, we from the church are making it enough. - Period. - We be really making it enough. So, so just imagine what I could accomplish if I had a little change, you know what I'm saying, just like, you know. - I couldn't agree with you more. I mean, people don't really, well, I guess we do think about it, but like, capital is a real thing. Like, money is a real thing. A lot of times it's like, and it's not just like what I'm wearing. It's like, the push, it's the PR. It's the marketing, it's the venue, it's all of money, essentially, it truly is accessing a lot of ways. And so, yeah, I feel you, when it comes to independence, like, I still move like a mom and pop as well. I have a lot of collaborators, different people that work with me, but at the core of what my brand is as well is, and I think the reason why is because it allows for me to make sure that it remains true. - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, yeah. - And I do think, like, I'm not trying to shout out to the Zodiac, but as Virgo's, that's big for us. We, you know, a lot of people wanna get in, y'all wanna fuss around with it. I want it to, like, I'm not afraid to collaborate and to expand on it, but I have to make sure that the core is being honored. - Absolutely. - You know, that's, like, so huge. I also love that you say, not straight. - Yeah. - I remember I did an interview with Wendy Williams, like, I was like, I don't know, 20 years ago. - Why, girl, 'cause the gag was, she wasn't bad. (laughing) - That one too. Me and Wendy had had some moments. - Listen. - Child, we don't have, we don't have some talks, okay? And she was like, so are you fluid, are you dead? I saw you there, and I'm like, I'm just me. - You know what I love, who loves you? - I love who you are, no. - Oh, I was there, I said, I'm right there. Wait, listen, we own the same. - We don't say. - Same. And so, like, I'm so interested for you. What does, how do people respond to you with that? Because I don't get great responses. Like, not to say that people are like, man, but people just wanna know what's going on. And it's like, me too, babe. I'm just. - Okay, okay. I'm still learning right along with you and learning does not mean confused. - No, what? - There's a quote that says that all that who wander are not lost. I'm literally wandering. I'm just taking in the scenery. I'm taking in how I'm reacting to things and what works and what does not. I say not straight because I don't want to say gay because that would exclusivize me. - Yes. - That's a word now. - Yeah, exclusivize me. - I don't know what it means, all these words is made up. That would exclusivize me to one way of expressing myself. One way of intimately communing and that's not the case. Because if Tiana tried me. - Anybody's going. - Any, yeah, I'm saying. You know, it's the energy. I don't know if you're familiar with the-- - It's the energy. - I don't know if you're familiar with the term is it like, gyno-sexual and andro-sexual? - No, please put me on too. So I hope I'm pronouncing the first one right. So gyno-sexual is when you are attracted to femininity or feminine presenting people. Andro-sexual is when you are attracted to masculine energy or masculine presenting people. So that could be in the form of anything. It's about the energy. - Yeah, I definitely feel you on that because I feel like I've always liked that feminine energy. It doesn't matter who, it doesn't mean that that person is totally flamboyant or not. But it's femininity is defined by so much more than just like, "Hey, girl." - Yeah, it's a softness, it's an earnestness, it's a awareness, it's a consideration. It's the flora and fauna. It's the oxygen that we breathe. That's why it's called mother nature. - Okay. - 'Cause what a man finna do. - Be up there and hold it, give you some structure. But we still need some softness. - A child in the most- - Oh no, they laughed at that. They said, "Unstructured beings trying to lead "somebody somewhere, men are not meant to lead." Sorry, I, not even sorry, they are not meant to lead. - I'm a howling. - They are not. - And as a man, I'm saying, we are not meant to lead. - On the Tere show, you said, "I am sex positive, ethically not monocamous. "So I still desire to have meaningful experiences "with other people from time to time "while still leaving room for exclusivity." Also again, sounds like me. (laughing) I live for the freedom and the independence and that doesn't mean disrespect or disregard from anybody. I think people gotta know that. At the end of the day, every relationship, every combination of love or relationship, it doesn't have to exist a certain set of rules in order to be true and to be loving. - Absolutely. - What does it practice look like for you? I don't even know if you're dating currently, or if you're close to off. - No, there's someone there. - Oh, there's someone there. - There's someone there. - But we, you know, that's just, that's for me, you know. - Period. - 'Cause I already give enough of myself, you know, so I just, and this is, yeah, I'm enjoying that. So the red is happy. I'm, you know, in the loving space. - How did you manage the time in your life? 'Cause I find it hard. You know, I find it really, really hard, even if somebody that's singled and dating and opened, I find it hard to just be like, oh, worked all day, now I have a dinner with you. - Yeah, yeah, no, seriously, after a 10 hour day, you're not trying to do anything. Yo, I don't want to talk. Why are we talk, we can do body doubling. - You know what I'm saying. - You read a book, I'm a check. I'm gonna be over here, watch your anime. Just be in the same room, but we ain't got a talk. - It's a lot. It's sometimes like, in order to be in a relationship, you have to give, you know what I mean? I think that way. I don't think you should be just taking it. So yeah, with our careers, I feel like a lot of times, it can be difficult to even save space to have energy to give to that when we are always giving to our baby. - Woo. Yeah. - Okay, so one thing I will say, it's important for whoever is involved in this to have an awareness and understanding. Not know, why are you always on set? Why are you always at, mm-mm, mm-mm, that's that. So there has to be an automatic understanding. I'm also okay with you not being even in my world as far as like work. You can do something complete, 180 of what I'm doing. And so when we come together, I can hear about, you know, the medical stuff that you got going on or the aviation or whatever, you know, saying I can have my music over here. So it's good to have that. I think when, also when you are, especially like, let's say if it's distance, you know. - Done a couple of those. - Yeah, you have to find time to, you know, the quality time and the, you know, the face time or that just to communicate, just to know like, hey, I'm here or, you know, I'm moving from this place to next place, you know. So I think when you at least have the communication. - Yeah. - Then there's no room for the imagination to kind of start dragging you down the street. 'Cause my imagination is a bright place but it can also get very dark. - Can't it? - Oh my goodness, you saw the sale. - You saw the sale in prison. (laughing) - So yeah, now it's, but it's about, and also I feel like I'm in a space where I do have room to offer that. 'Cause I'm also, 'cause I mean, I'm loving my friends, you know, I'm loving my, you know, there's a lot of, and also this too, folks don't understand how they have to share you. - Yes, yes. - They have to share you with the world. - And they get mad. - With the world, with your team, with your stylist, which is like, they, with me. - With me. - Now that's what it is, right? 'Cause people be mad. - Oh, you know, I'm telling you. 'Cause at the end of it all, I wanna be with me too. - Yes. - I'm being with you girls. Your girl wanna be with your girl too. (beep) - Oh, you just, ooh, that just. - Mm-hmm. - It's crazy, ain't it? - Yeah, yeah. Like, you don't even have to, like the, one thing that's been, especially since the Grammys, mind you, I still have to make a video to let everybody know like how I'm actually feeling and what's been going on because not only do I have interviews, but it's the folks in my life that wanna know individually. So I'm like, I gotta make a video to let everyone know, but it, it, it, it does make me a little sad when, like the homies wanna hang out. Hey, do you have free time? I actually don't, I actually don't have the time. And then the time that I do have that is not being pulled, I just wanna have a moment to myself because I'm, the demand is there, you know? So we have to be focused. And just to remind them like, hey, I'm, I'm, I'm a tap in when I, when I can, but, like, tell 'em all some, don't, don't, what, what is, what does someone say? - The meat-hacking Hollywood. I hate that. - It's like they, you know, Duranne don't let this grand (beep) to him. I'm gonna tell you what, it got to me. The calendar, the schedule has what's gotten to me. - You know what I'm saying, the, the, the, we have to do this, you have to do this, you have to be there. That is what it's gotten to this. - It's like that meme of that man. - I know how the capacity, I know how the capacity, I know how the capacity, I don't, I don't, yeah. - It's so true, I just live kicking the feet up and getting into that because it is so true. Anybody out there that's just, which we all are, working, trying to make it happen, trying to get the dream, like, there's sometimes not enough. And if you don't have enough to give to yourself that it's not even necessary to even try to give it to anybody else. So, you know, I'm loving it. even that you have in love but also still maintaining you. - Yeah, exactly. - 'Cause that's the (beep) right there, huh? ♪ Baby, this is Kikipoma, yeah ♪ - You know what I love? When people show up with genuine intentions, especially when it comes to dating. My girls and I were just talking about how the best connections happen when someone puts in real effort from the jump. And Bumble is definitely on to something because they're making it easy to find people who really want to get to know and date the real you from the beginning. Through features like Bumble Compliments. Someone can show genuine interest in something on your profile like your love of cooking or that cute hiking photo. - I'll see you, boo. - All before you even match. That kind of meaningful connection changes the whole vibe. That's why it's the dating app my girlfriends use and trust. And let's talk about safety because that matters. Bumble has photo verification and ID verification built right in. You can be at ease knowing the person you're chatting with is actually who they say they are. That piece of mine, it's a non-negotiable. Ready to connect with people who bring the same energy as you? Download Bumble. Now, dear diary, I have a problem and the problem is my brain will not let me rest. Like last week, I was supposed to be going to sleep and instead I spent two hours trying to figure out why we cringe at our old photos. Like what is it with that? Is it psychological? Is it ego? I needed to know. So I've been using Claude, which is an AI that actually thinks through stuff with you. It's not giving you some little surface level answer and dip in. It asks questions back. It goes down the rabbit hole with you, which is dangerous for me personally. But I love it. And here's the thing. Anthropic, the company that makes Claude, committed to keeping it ad-free. So when you're in the middle of your 1a-inspiral, your conversation stays yours. No random sponsored ads, just you and your thoughts, which for me is a lot. If your brain never shuts up, Claude gets it. Try Claude for free at claw.ai/kiki-pomer. And see why problem solvers choose Claude as their thinking partner. Waiting to exhale is an info for Bloom, which is iconic. I mean, I feel like, tell me if you feel the same way. The older that I get, the more I realize that waiting to exhale was real as hell. Oh, no, very much. I'm-- what did she say? You want to know one thing that I just realized about all of us? Not one of us. Have a man. Baby, Brenda, do you know where they're holding that cigarette? Like, baby, it's too slow. Savannah is too slow. All the different women, the archetypes, the character, the storylines, the realizing of what the exhale represents. Oh, really? Yeah. Like, it's so insane. So I'm curious for you, like, when you decided to have that be the info, did you have that moment? Were you going through that? Is this the marking of that era for you? Why you wanted to dedicate to that to the album? Or was it a previous thing? Like, how did you come to wanting that to be the info for the album? So, first of all, waiting to exhale right along with Hostile, I got a groove back. Oh, that's that. Those are my comfort films. Watch the model. Got to watch them all the time. One thing, the core thing that I would sit with, especially watching it in our 30s, no matter what those women went through in their personal lives, they could always come together and lean on one another. And I just really-- I love that-- one of my favorite parts of the movie and it's so short is Tyreek coming in and putting the covers over them, because they're all sleeping in the living room. It's like a happy birthday, mom. And they're just-- I'm like, I miss sleep offers. I miss that. But folks don't know how to record people. Like, why are you playing? Why are you putting my hand in warm water? What are you doing on-- No, my bladder. We are of age. First of all, I got a mustache, girl. You know what I'm saying? So yeah, this-- if we could just get some seriousness going on, we could actually probably have some adult sleepovers again. But you know, also, folks, be snoring. The snoring is bad. Baby, and who-- You need to see a doctor. And who's going to be sleeping on the flow? You better get me a pull out this couch. OK. You could be having a sleep afternoon. You've got to get a check down. Oh, god. You've got to get it checked out. OK, so what type of friend are you? Are you a voice note person? Are you an essay tax star? Are you a tax star? Are you a face timer? Don't call me. Well, first and foremost, when you said, are you a voice note person, I just-- I got-- I just got sent back to a place because there is a voice note that is sitting in my messages right now that it's 13 minutes long. Oh, now they should have called. And I'm like, I'm like, baby, as me trying to respond back to everybody, you are the headliner. OK, you will absolutely be going last. 13 minutes! Just start your audio book. Just start the audio book. No, because voice note. Voice note. Baby note. Not voice essay. Essay. Voice dissertation. Yeah, like 13 minutes. Like this is the podcast. This is the podcast. And then they had to nerve to send me a text after that. You know who I'm talking to. Talking about some-- I'm starting a book club last month. I said, you are a book club enough, dear. I have yet to get through the essay you sent me. That's crazy. I'm a FaceTimeer. Oh, you are. I'm FaceTime. Like just FaceTime. But the thing is, I'll just say my mom. It's like, she'd be having-- she'd be FaceTime and me trying to talk about the look who I'm with, like, lady. I'm on the toilet. Look who I'm with, gave me life. Right. Like, look who I'm with, ma'am. I'm in the bathroom. So let me know who's with you before you FaceTime me. I feel like I'm really the annoying friend that only wants to text. Yeah. I'm so bad. It gets to the point where my friends are like, you gave me anxiety. Because I am sending essays. I'm going to text. At least face it. I do. They're a gorgeously formatting. But-- Gorgeously-- I even have a subject line. I even have a bowl. Oh, you got the subject line to-- oh, babe. So yeah, I'm definitely like yeah, crazy. I'm a FaceTimeer, but if I absolutely can't call, then we'll text. If it's something important that you need to talk to me, just call. Yeah, yeah, just call. You speak about your friends teaching you, setting the tone for what it looks like to have romantic platonic relationships. Non-romantic. I feel the same way about my friendships, whether it's us learning how to take each other on dates. And we're going to eat. We're going to watch a new movie. How does that look for you? What are you and your friends do together? We cook for one another. Would you be cooking? Wait. I mean, whatever is there, I'm-- Whatever is there is crazy. I'm not a cook. So first and foremost-- Not being a faucet. No! Look spam. No, I'm not mind you. I'm not a chef. OK, just because you throw things on the skillet does not make you a chef. You can prepare a meal so I can do a nice cute breakfast. OK, French toast. I'll do some salmon, love a Brussels sprout, or some broccoli, you know? Yes, broccoli. Broccoli. No relation to the lake, great deal, coley. I'll do some grilled chicken. I love a-- I love a-- You're healthy. Yeah, yeah. I don't really do beef and steak and stuff like that. My mom didn't even eat that when I was-- Growing up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I would like to cook more. I would like to cook more, but I am. I think with me, my friends, I love to do the hosting thing. I do like the host. I love the hostie host. I love to make sure you guys have liquor and some to eat. I love to make sure we got games. We doing tug of war. We doing the limbo. Oh, oh, oh, oh, you are a gamer game. You said we are gathering. I'm very much cook out. I do love it. Like, my son, we're going to do his birthday party-- How old is he, Turner? Three. Our nephew is about to be three. Child. Oh, this-- wait, no, Leo, this-- The oldest, that's it. That, baby, that ain't the most elderly name. You can give a baby. And he is so mean. He's changed. Oh, no. He used to be so sweet. And now he's like, you're the bad mama. And you need to go out of my room. Oh, not out of your room. Yeah, this is my house. I mean, but it's his room. So I'm loving being a mom needless to say. He has a great personality. I'm happy for his birthday. We're going to do a big little-- just at the house party, and it's just family and friends. That there's nothing that means more to me than that. Oh, wait, the other thing that I do, I take out the trash from my homegirls. Stabulous. If I ever, you know, taken one of their cars, they actually want me to take their cars because they know I'm going to fill it up. Yes. That's why the guys in their lives-- They became one of you. They became one of you. Because I already came in doing what you think is doing the most is my bare minimum. OK. It's my-- it's the bare minimum. Is that about-- what is that? I don't-- They want to coach you. Is that changes everything? That's all they're doing? Wanting it changes everything. But why wouldn't-- why if they wanted, why wouldn't they do more? I don't get that. Then I want some tail. I don't do less for the man. I'm like, what do you need? I turn it into the red of the vine. Come on out. Look at him. Yes, bro, great job. OK. I don't act like-- Yeah. Come on. You know, this is another thing. I don't get it. I will say this. Because my mother was my first friend, I don't view-- I don't have a disdain for women. That is why. a lot of men, their first bullies, were their mothers. - Really? - And so that's why they have a disdain for women. Yeah, we got the pipeline of where this anger and stuff like that comes from towards y'all, we just have to talk about where it began. - Do you think a lot of it is just the, 'cause I thought a lot about that, right? And I thought about it in terms of single motherhood, mother's being stressed, I'm a single mother. So I was like, is that where the viewpoint of that dynamic started? But then I also started thinking about like, some of the relationships that I have with guys, the ones that are very close to their fathers have a different vibe. Meaning they have this emotional capacity that I've also started to look at too. Where it's like, yeah, 'cause you talk so positively about your relationship with your dad. And other guys that I know that have the ability to love are like this with their dads. Where it's like they could cross and they dad. 'Cause you know, I'm one of my best friends, Matt Shaugh, Matthew Kugler, him and his dad are like this. And he's the sweetest guy ever. And so I also also think about like just like the emotional capacity reflected in mirrored in another man too, I think sometimes, again, I don't know people's lives in their upbringing. But I do think growing up, like, yes, the relationship with your mom, like, you know, how you view women, and then also how you feel you can operate as a man. And if you don't have anybody that's mirroring something that is nuanced, then you become oh, oh. - Well, again, men aren't necessarily taught how to be men. They're just taught how not to be like girls. - And that's just so unfair. - So you have a lot of open air vagueness to kind of operate in and it's just, there's no focus. So I would like to say that I'm a middle ground. 'Cause there have been homies in my life where I call them the non-strait practicing heterosexuals. Because like I said, like, whiteness and straightness, they're sisters. - Okay. - So it's a construct. But when you just say, no, I'm just attracted to the opposite sex, you're not performing. Straightness is a performance and it's for the edification and the validation of other men. Straightness is actually somebody to gay (beep) you could ever participate in. Matter of fact, some dudes are so straight, they go to jail. - Because see, you're around all those men. - Yeah. - And being told what to do every moment of the day. That is how straight some of them are. - It does get confusing to all of us around in regards to like, sometimes it's like you and you wanna be around us. Damn. - They wanna be around your homeboy. - They wanna fellowship with you all, but they don't like y'all. - Isn't that crazy? I really want us to, I'm happy that we had this brief moment that because this is more, there's more to even say up on that. And I'm excited to see what people are gonna be saying in the comments and stuff like that because I feel like there needs to be an old panel where I do some type of discussion on this because I really want us all to get together and get along and just vibe out. I really want more love in our thing. We gotta get off the apps. We gotta get IRL. We gotta have like, let's come out. - Come on, IRL. - We gotta get IRL right. I'm bringing the digital talk into the real world. I got a problem. - Okay. - You know, I care about that. Like I want us to, it's too lonely. Where everybody is too lonely. Whether you, I don't care relationships, friendships, lonely all around families. If you ain't got no family, they're trying to figure out how to find a family. Like we just have to get real. We're getting too over this (beep) I don't care about looking cringe. I want us to have vibes. - That is what. - And get up and make some baby. - Come on. (laughs) - And that's the issue people are afraid of looking cringe. They're afraid of, when you see videos of folks dancing back in the 80s and maybe some, ooh, that was some strong cocaine. First of all, that was not cocaine. (beep) - It was obviously Kwayloos. (laughs) - I'm kidding. - But it's the awareness of I'm being watched. So I don't want to look crazy. My this is gonna be that. If we could just get out, that's why I went to Tyler was doing the don't tap the glass. I mean, he had the release party. It was like everybody's phone, yeah. - Very huge fan of his. - Everybody, love him. Everybody's phone's need to be gone. Like let's dance. You're focused on the wrong thing. Y'all trying to, somebody (beep) up in the middle of the dance floor and you trying to capture? No, get your ass down there on the floor with him. - Yes, seriously. Seriously, I missed that. I really do me like on sole train. If you look in some way, some of the people was dancing. - Hey, baby. - They thought nobody was watching. - They would have not been able to take my hips nor shoulders. - Come on Shakira. - Oh, show. Those came with these hips still. No fallacies, okay. - I really feel the same way. I really want, you know, I'm gonna be thinking on this. - Yes, let me know. I'll be down for the panel. - Okay, 'cause we got to talk and we got the folks got to talk to us. We got to talk to our people. - Come on. Let the congregation say, man. - Amen. - Now we got to throw it back to your YouTube, Dave. We weren't gonna have this conversation and not talk about like how so many of us first met you. That's correct, Ray. You are one of the OG YouTube singers. I mean, your content blended musical covers. Comedy and dance, which I love because I think comedy has more of a place in art than people often get a craft store and you do a great job at that. So what was the goal when you started? Were you like, I'm trying to get signed or you know, I'm just trying to, you know, get a fan base going kind of. I mean, this was like so early on. I don't think people even knew the impact of YouTube that much. - Yeah. - So what did you go in thinking? - So I signed up for YouTube July 20, 2006 and then posted my first video, December of 2007. Strickly off of, everybody in my circle has been saying that I can sing and I can do X, Y and Z. Let's see what the internet got to say about this 'cause they don't care about your feelings. They will let you have it. - Especially on YouTube. - Especially. So my first video was a song of original of mine, called "Paranoid" and I mixed in "Dollar and More" by Jay Davie at the end and then it was just flashing lights. Then it was slow dancing in the burning room. We had Erica covers, Amy Winehouse, all of that, the flashing lights cover was my first video that racked up a thousand views, I remember that. And then I recorded a couple studio versions of those songs that I did, the popular covers and put it out as a mixtape, alcohol harmony mixtape, shout out to OGs. And my play on, who I didn't know her at the time, but she's my play on now. Francis J, she's a DJ. She got a hold of my flashing lights cover, send it to Ricky Smiley. - I love Ricky, hey Ricky. - Shout out to Ricky. And then he starts playing it on his radio show like every morning to the point where I forgot that the song wasn't even mine. And then from there, Erica found me, she reached out. - Miss Badoo. - Miss Badoo, 'cause it came out by the do-by-do like you do. And from there, she reached out personally, like look, I love what you're doing. I need you in my band and it'll be 15 years. And April, since we've been together. 'Cause I had to hit her up, 'cause she called me some awesome. - You know, I'm so proud of you, you know, gave me the, you know, I'm so proud of you. And you know, I know I've done my job when my babies don't need me anymore. I said, I don't know what you're talking about. What are you talking about, ma'am? Because I'm still on ten of, don't get no bright ideas. Okay, I will see you at the next gig. Oh yes, that was one of the main reasons why I wanted that Grammy. It's so that I can continue supporting. 'Cause it's not, it's no ego with me. When you genuinely enjoy what it is that you are doing, I'm talking about, I'm singing songs that I like, with artists that I (beep) with, with people that I genuinely love, and I'm getting compensated for it. What's the issue? - No. - Whitney Houston was doing background from BB and CC Wine, and that's when one of her songs was at the top of the charts. This was back during, like, how will I know, or saving all my love, whichever one, but her label was hot. 'Cause when do you meet our artist, who is a huge act, doing background, right in the middle. - I'm lost with you, yeah. - Yeah. - Baby, wait, wait, I'm gonna tell you one thing, she was doing. She went back, come. - I miss Whitney so much. - That woman ain't got no business being dead. - No business, it pisses me so off. - Between her, Nate Dog, Luther, it's like, - It's really annoying. - Yeah, it is. - Rest in peace, though, we love y'all. - We love y'all. - And we are a continuation of that energy, for sure. - Yes. - What does it like being on tour with Eric about the, how is she? She chill, she fun. I mean, I met her a few times, and she's so awesome. And our daughter, Puma, so cute. - Puma. I mean, shoot. I realized early on that I had a very unique relationship with her, because, first of all, she's very personable. So, like I said, the first time that we ever spoke, she reached out, sent me her number, like hit me up. Like, and so I was learning that how other people were being reached out to, or certain things that were going on in that camp, that wasn't a thing. That was handled by management, or things like that. I'm like, oh, well, she reached out to, that's personally. You know, it's, it's very much a family gathering. She's been a mentor and a big sister. I mean, just a therapist, you know, a lot of things all in one, and I've been able to accumulate things and take notes of, enjoy yourself. Like, know your shit, but enjoy yourself. Okay, so you fail, or you hit this note. Okay, like, you can say, this is all live. As she said, studio is about perfecting a moment. live is when you're creating the world. moment. So also being on your toes, because not every show is the same, we could literally be in the middle of the set. And then it should be like, uh, let's do that one song. You mean that one song that we did in rehearsal five years ago? She seemed like it's because she knows she got the best people with. Absolutely. She, she, she, she trusts us. So when you can have that kind of synergy, like there's nothing to worry, we're literally just going out there, like, la, let's jam. Oh, I live. Also, you bite your lips like me. Okay. So, so what's so funny? I'll be stimming. I guess that's one of my, my stems, but I think I do it because I feel like my lips are dry. What do you mean? Do I, am I stimming? I think that's what stimming, there was another thing where I was like, I was singing, I was like doing this. And they were like, okay, stem. I'm like, wait, what is that? I'm, we're all learning the film. Okay. Catch it. Um, so wait a minute. What does that mean about me? If I've been stimming all my life, um, it's just little things that we do when we're kind of like, it's like this. Like if you're, if they're going for the blossom, right? Or like if I'm speaking to you and I'm, you know, and I'm talking. And then when she start, when she starts talking, I'm like, mm-hmm. It's like, I don't know. We're, we're trying to fill in the space of the being still or something. And I, I swear, when I did a Tamron haul, and I told myself, I said, okay, Duran, don't fidget. So I didn't do this. And then I go back and I'm looking, I'm doing this. I'm like, huh. I do it a lot. What's your reason behind? You know, it's, I don't know. I think it's a form of like comfort. You know, it's just like, it's something to do. Yeah. Okay. So I don't feel bad. Yeah. This is why. This is why. It's a scene. Uh, so I feel so seen. That took me out. Um, you're back at the studio working on your next album. Anything you could tell me about it. I, I ain't trying to press you like everybody else is. Hmm. But I just want to know if there's a mood or vibe you're taking into it. It's a continuation of, of Bloom. Um, and, uh, I wanted to be a bit more upbeat. Cause like half of the album is kind of mid tempo slow for, for, for Bloom. So I wanted to get a bit more upbeat and also talk about some of the other things that surround, um, being in close proximity with people, you know, that you have a relationship with, a bond with. Yeah. Um, so just little ends and outs, uh, trying to do some spicy songs now because I didn't want to have any songs about heated fellowship on the album where we're trying to talk about platonic friends. Amen. So now that we're branching, we can get, we can get a little spicy. So I love spicy. I was trying to, it's funny because I was in the studio the other day and they were talking about, you ain't wrote no songs about sex. I'm like, okay, well then let's get vulgar and then I got vulgar and like, well, okay, now it's too much. And then my team is like, well, as a warm man, I was like, what is that game about you? This is about gay doing gay. Okay. Period. You can sing along, but the same about you. Yeah. So, but it was more so because we were repeating one section trying to get it right. And it was very much this word, this word, this word, but then once we actually got it all together, it was like, okay, it's not that bad. Okay, because sometimes you have to see it all together. That part. We talking. You and the kitchen talking about some will, if you just put it, I'm like, well, I don't be over there talking about you need to put some a Rouge on somebody's cheeks, ma'am. I'm howling at the Rouge. That is such a OG term for the blush. Come on, Rouge. You are so funny. And I love because, this is the thing again, I always feel this way about comedy. People don't give comedy enough credit for being like difficult in an art form. And a lot of times they think it's just being silly, but you are so seriously talented and so seriously funny. I know some of your inspirations are like Jim Carey, you know, who's a big inspo of mine as well with all the physical comedy. But you're performing at the Netflix as a joke festival and May. And I'm excited about that because you're infusing your love for comedy with your love of music. And I just love what you do with that, even when you did the tiny desk and you was dressed as Uncle Bobby. Like, I just love that you're not afraid to do that. So, what are you looking forward to with the festival and just what, you know, it's going to allow you to do? So, my, which by the way, it's sold out now. She is sold out. It's fabulous. So, it's my variety show. So, there will be music and there will also be, I like to call it story time and I necessarily stand up because I've told so many stories about just things that have happened in my life and I just get a kick out of the room. So, the moment that the whole room ignites, I'm like, put that in the material. Very much Deon Cole. I love Deon Cole. Yes. No, that's not my, my mother loves him. Shot took her to go see if she loves him. Yeah, I want to just start flexing that and seeing what. So, I'm getting with like Kevin on stage. Kevin's amazing. I'm getting with Dwayne Parkins. There's a few other folks that I want to reach out. Kit Fury, who I just, I respect their content and just to get feedback. I have a few filters and but I'm really excited. I have an hour. Babe, this is going to be, and again, for me, we're in this time now, especially for me starting 20 years ago, you know, in more of the traditional landscape. We didn't have none of the social media, none of the digital stuff. I'm really happy that it's no longer like that where you have to be a certain way to be an artist. You have to be a certain way to be a performer. Like, you have to be separate. If you could sing, you could dance, you got to pick one. Like, it's no longer. You could just be an artist and build a brand. And so I think, you know, you are, you know, one of my favorites and you're able to, yeah, usher in that next stage of what it looks like to be an artist. And it doesn't just mean one thing. This niche little thing. It's like, no, no, no, this is Durand Bernard. Yeah, no, it's me getting this honor with the Grammys has opened up so many doors that we don't even realize are here. It's true. Because we, it's, and I don't, and I always have to say the word butch queen has never been said on that stage on that platform. Okay. So I had to make sure to give a shout out to us because and also my father being there specifically. I know my mom was there for the last time. Sure. But it was imperative that my father be there because I needed people to see. This is the result of your parents loving your children, not trying to write their story, but read their story. And how children treat their, their parents when they become adults is their report card. That's a report card. So when I said that I wouldn't want to be bothered being reincarnated because I would risk not having my parents. And their support and love has lasted me the next 10,000 lifetimes. Folks are like, I want my children to speak about me like that. Or, or I want to, I want to come out to my family so that we can, you know, it's, it's, it is just, I say it's a global timeline cleanse. It was just a global timeline cleanse. I'm grateful that it's stamped in time. Me too. And I just love everything you say. God bless your parents. It's such a beautiful thing. And I, I feel the same about mine. Shout out to your mama. She didn't play. She didn't. She did not play. Okay. Okay. Well, we're now going to play a game. I love playing a game with all my guests. And I thought this would really be fun because, you know, you're always going viral. Not just with the Grammys, but also your, one of your early remixes of, do you know the muffin man? Yeah, yeah. We know about that. If you don't know, shout out to my girls. Okay. So we're taking that energy and turning it into a game. We're going to take turns where we're giving each other nursery rhymes, plus a style or a vibe. And we just have to remix it on the spot. Just a little improv. No rules. Let's go. Okay. So let's see. What have you start? Unless you want me to start? Do I want me to start? I can start. Okay. So it's going to be ITZY BITZY SPYER. And I'm going to do it as a pop punk anthem. Pop punk anthem. Okay. I was creating a mosh pit over here. I love it. You was like on that meme with that white dude in the back like, okay. Okay. Okay. I love that meme. Yes. Okay. So we're going to be that for Halloween. Oh my god. That would give life. Okay. Period. Okay. Let's do, um, old Macdonald 90s R&B slow jam. Yes. Yes. Yes. You knew. Old Macdonald had a farm. E-I-E-I-O. And on that farm, he had a cow. E-I-E-I-O. ♪ And the cow goes, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm ♪ - Yes! - ♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ - Oh my God! - Oh my God! (laughing) - Was that too 80s? Was that Luther? - That was so good. I don't know how your ass do that. Okay, let me see, I'm a little teapot. Disney Villain Ballad? - Hmm. I'm a little teapot, short and spout. ♪ Chippin' me over and fallin' for me out ♪ - What the (bleep) is the rest of the song? - Down came the song. ♪ Down came the song and dried up all the rain in me ♪ ♪ Yeah, see that she spied up ♪ - I didn't change. I'm supposed to be doin' I a little teapot. - Oh. (slurping) (slurping) (laughing) - Wait, you're not got the juice. (laughing) - Wait, and I ain't sayin' nothin'. - Now, I see a medallion. - Right, right. - We did a medallion. - I wouldn't have noticed if you didn't say nothin'. He said, I'm a little teapot. Yes, the itsy bitch see. - Baby. - That's how you know I know how to follow directions. 'Cause you started tellin' me and I started goin'. - That is fun. - Okay, the last one will be, so we have two. I'm gonna give you two. We could do ABC's, operadeva, or we could do, you are my sunshine monologue. - Ooh. (laughing) What was the first one? - ABC's operadeva. ♪ ABC day of J ♪ ♪ H-J-J-K-L-N-O-P ♪ ♪ K-O-S-T-E-V-W-X ♪ ♪ W-N-Z ♪ ♪ Now I know my ABC's ♪ ♪ Next time won't you sing ♪ - With me. - Thank you. - Oh my gosh, that is me. The Ran Banar. - The Grammy Awards winning. - Baby. - Ran Banar. - You are so much joy, so much life, so much. - Speaking of joy, I just say this. I spoke to Jennifer Lewis the night that I won the Grammy, and she said, do you know that your joy is feeding people? It is feeding people in the Congo. It's feeding people in Sudan. You know she love Africa. - Yes, period. - But it's just my joy within myself is being a light and a very dark time. Not that it hasn't been dark in the States, but right now the darkness is prevalent, it's palpable. So to have that, like I said, a timeline cleanse, and to hear that validation to say that your joy that you have within yourself is helping others. - That's impact, that's real impact. And I agree with Jennifer 100%. We need more of that. Sometimes there's not enough that we can do, and if that's what, knowing that I can at least put a smile on someone's face. - And that's what it is, 'cause you sometimes feel like, am I doing enough? Am I, is this, is this effective? - Yes. - Is my voice, does it have any weight? Is anyone listening genuinely? So that. - Mother Teresa says, or said, there can be no great things done, only small things with great love. And whenever I feel down, I always hold on to that because it's like, look, I maybe can't save the world. But in this moment, I'm doing something, you know? - Absolutely. - Mm-hmm. - Thank you so much, Sharon. Hope people have laughter, enjoy, and entertainment while watching our conversation, 'cause I know I had a goal. - I did, okay. (laughing) - Thank you, boys. (upbeat music) This conversation was everything at once. Deep, funny, affirming, and real. If you're new to his work, this is your sign to tap in. And if you've been rocking with him since the early days, I hope his authenticity keeps reminding you that being yourself is always a flex. That's all from me, baby. This is Kiki Palma. ♪ Baby, this is, this is Kiki ♪ ♪ Baby, this is, Kiki Palma, yeah ♪