Dream Analysis Expert

Let's talk about the five things we all dream about the most. These are five stress dreams that you should never ignore. If you've ever dreamed about your ex, or dreamed your partner was cheating, or dreamed you had a baby, I will tell you what these all mean, you're welcome. How did you get into dream analysis and psychology? Listen to my life. I've been able to remember just about every single dream. I have every single night. That's like unheard of. I can't tell you the last time I remember a dream. They are your built in brutally honest best friend who's going to tell you what you need to know, whether you like it or not. Do you lose a dream or not? I do. And do you like that? It's better than sex. Why do we have nightmares? I know people that climax in a sex group. So what is that department? I don't even know how to say it. You say you're more of a light sleeper? Oh, if a feather falls, I'm like that. So I created this portrait for you. As a thank you. It's here somewhere. Oh my god, there's just so much hotter than I could ever be. I need these boobs. That is you. I wish the heart would be. True will be so happy. Laurie, thank you for being here on Chloe in Wonderland. I'm so excited to sit and talk with you. I'm excited to talk with you too. I found you on social media and I just think you are so fascinating and so interesting. But I want to know how did you get into dream analysis and psychology? Well, I've always been a vivid dreamer. And I have been able to remember my dream since I was two years old. That is incredible to me. So long story short, I've always been into my dreams. When I was little, I would draw them. When I got a little older, I would journal them. But it wasn't until I was 19 when my grandfather died. So I had a dream two weeks after his death that we were walking arm and arm through this museum and I knew he had died. And I asked him, what is it like where you are? And he said, well, I can't tell you that. But what I can tell you is that it's secure. Oh. And then he gave me a hug. And as I watched him walk up the stairs, I began to wake up and I could smell his old spice. I love it. And I could feel him. And I was like, what just happened? What was that? So that's the dream that propelled me to study dream psychology. Because I wanted to know, why do we do it? Right. What is the purpose? What does it mean? And I was so impressed by how practical the dreaming mind actually is. As ethereal or otherworldly as it can seem or bizarre. It's actually very, very practical, helpful and powerful. And what do you mean by the practicality part? Like if I'm dreaming that I'm surrounded by fairies or something more whimsical. Yeah. How is that considered practical? Well, very good question. Because dreams are mostly symbolic. Okay. So they seem random, bizarre, nonsense. Sanacy. Right. When actually they're not. The thing about dreams that most people don't understand is that dreaming is a thinking process. Your dreams are your thoughts. They are a continuation of your thoughts stream from the day. So whatever you're saying to yourself throughout the day, you're driving around, I'll Chloe this. You're loading the dishwasher. I'll Chloe that. You're taking a shower. You're talking to yourself. As you drift off, you're still talking to yourself. That stream of consciousness continues. But once you enter REM dream sleep, your brain's working differently. The biochemical processes are a little different. So you're still having that conversation with yourself. But now rather than thinking in words, and linearly, like you and I are right now, you're thinking in symbols, emotions, and metaphors. So look at your dreams as a very wise commentary on what happened today. Look at your dreams as helping you problem solve and reach your aspirations. You just have to learn the language. I used to dream. I think I had one dream that I remember recently that was more of a nightmare. I didn't wake up from it. But when I did wake up in the morning naturally, I was like, oh, I didn't like that dream. I can't tell you truly the last time. I remember a dream. I know that doesn't mean I didn't dream. And I've wondered why don't I dream anymore. And I used to journal a lot. Not about my dreams, but just journal in general. And I've read that if I do have a dream, like as you said, you've been journaling and drawing from a very young age about your dreams. The more you do that, the more your brain starts to dream or you start to remember them more. Here's what you do to start remembering your dreams because you are dreaming every night. You're every 90 minutes we dream. Even if I don't remember. Even if you're not remembering it. And it's unfortunately something that is so powerful and helpful to us. It's so slippery. Right. It's not fair. But you are dreaming every single night. Whether you remember it or not. And the way to remember them is actually very, very easy. All you have to do when you wake up in the morning don't move, stay in the exact same position you woke up in. Because that's the position your body was in when you were dreaming. So if you roll over, if you move, look at your phone or whatever, it's like I'm plugging yourself from the dream you were just in. So just stay put, quiet your mind and give yourself three to five minutes of quiet still time to let the dream come back to you. Then write it down. Otherwise, it'll be gone after breakfast. That's crazy. I know. But the more you do that, do you think it makes you dream more vividly or remember your dreams more? You'll remember them more. OK. It's like, you know, working out. Right. The more you work, the muscle the stronger it gets. The exact same thing with your dream muscle. The more you work it, the more you pay attention to it. Make it a part of your life. Make it a partner in your life. Your subconscious is your partner in life and can really make big changes for you if you work with it. So you just incorporate it into your morning and you'll start remembering them every morning. I have also read that in your dream-- and I hope I'm saying this right-- like if you can find your hands, you can control your dream a little more. OK. Yeah. What is that? All right. So lucid dreaming. Have you ever done this where you're in a dream and you know it's a dream? Yes. So when my dad first passed away, I would get like recount. My dad died in his home. He had a hospice. And I would go down his hallway, look to the left, and he would be either in the hospital bed, or which he wasn't, but he would be standing in his closet. And I would be freaking out in the dream because I didn't want to see him like that. But in the dream-- or I could hear myself say, Chloe, you're dreaming. It's OK. Just wake up. You're going to be OK. But I would hear that. But I would never wake up. Like I could not wake myself up. I've had night terrors as well. But it was more me like I would be crying and I could feel real tears when I woke up. So that's interesting that you would try to wake up and you couldn't. Do you get lucid nowadays? No, I don't really dream that I remember. I know I dream. We're going to fix that. OK. I would love to because I miss dreaming. So the lucid dreaming, back to that, you're asking me about the hands. Yes. OK, so that's a little technique that you can do when you become lucid and you want to stay in the dream. You find a focal point like your hands or a plant in the corner or something to focus on. And it kind of anchors your mind in that in between state. Because when you're lucid, you're awake and you're asleep at the same time. It's crazy. It's crazy. Yeah. Do you lucid dream of? I do. About once a month. I love it. OK. Yeah. Why do you like it so much? Because you can do anything. Isn't that crazy? You can do anything. I like to explore my dreamscape. Sometimes I'll walk through walls. My go to to make sure I'm dreaming is-- I'll jump up and see if I can float. OK. If I'm floating, I know I'm dreaming. But what I always tell my clients is when you find yourself in a lucid dream, even if it's scary, don't get out of it. The best thing you can do is ask questions. Like what? Like what is the meaning of life? OK. What do I need to know right now for my life? What do I do about my mother-in-law? You can ask anything. And your dreams will answer you. I was going to say, do you get direct answers? Or is that when you get more the symbolism type of folks? OK. It depends. Sometimes you will get a direct answer. I've had one where there was no one else in the dream. I just asked the dream, what do I need to know right now? The dream said, everything's going to be OK. Just after I've had a series of miscarriages. And you know, you're just-- nothing matters anymore. And that gene, like I woke up from it. I was like, oh, it's going to be OK. I don't know if you get premonitions through your dreams, but are you ever able to say to someone else if that's a premonition? No. I do have-- I had a precognitive dream just the other night. I have to tell you about because you're somehow involved. I love this. Oh, my gosh. But yeah, so precognitive dreaming is so crazy. And it does happen where you have a dream. And then a few days later, it comes true. Right. Have you had that happen? I have, but I didn't know. Like, when it came true, I was like, that's what that dream meant. I remember vividly. this was right before all of her again. Katrina. And I had a dream that a town was demolished by water and it was so vivid and I it was like everything was destroyed and I was so scared when I woke up I was like what it was so real but it didn't say it was in New Orleans it didn't say hurricane it wasn't that spelled up but I've never had a dream like that before but I saw homes underwater I saw people standing on their roofs it was so strange to me but I remembered it and I even talked about it for a few days oh before it actually happened that's great when it happened I was like wait I think that was my dream yeah yeah you had the moment like I dreamt this right yes but at the time I just thought it was a very strange powerful dream right but it was not I know it was not so yeah we can get pre-cognitive dreams about big-worldly events that kind of send out a ripple into time space and we can also get them when it's an emotionally charged situation that just involves ourselves and so I've had probably my whole life maybe three and I had one the other day and I emailed your producer I said oh my god Jen this is insane we have to talk about this tell me because I get asked about pre-cognitive dreaming on the time okay and I do think it happens more than we know mm-hmm mostly because we don't tend to remember our dreams and then we get the deja vu yes which I think is connected to a dream we had we just don't remember it oh that makes sense some people can make the connection okay so the dream I had so I created this mermaid portrait for you and then I shipped it out and then I had a dream and this was on the night of February 25th okay that I was holding a mermaid portrait I had drawn and I accidentally ripped it just above the head of the mermaid like right here and I was like shoot and I'm walking around and I find the framer I met a convention and I said can you fix this and then I woke up and I don't think anything of it I thought I had to do I'm trying to figure out how to you know do my hair in a new way or whatever and then on March 2nd I got an email from the framer saying we're so sorry your mermaid portrait was damaged in transit and they took a picture and it was damaged right here exactly where I dreamt it now and it didn't even hit me yet and I was typing I will shoot is there way to fix it can you fix it and I was like wait a minute you had that dream I pulled out my phone because I have a I have a dream interpretation app I just built oh cool it's what it's called dream chat with Laurie and so I was looking up the dream and I was like oh yes this was February 25th I said in the dream to the framer can you fix it no way yes either way I love it that's so cool yeah it's so nice so then I I started like seriously looking into why does this happen and how have you heard of the block universe theory no it's also called eternalism no okay so I will do my best to articulate it okay we really need nil de grass Tyson here it's it's an Einstein theory that everything past present future already exists all at once right now but we're only able to perceive it one frame at a time the best way to explain it is that look at your life as a movie film every frame from birth to death exists on this okay film but your brain is the projector and it is only equipped to show you one frame at a time right because the part of the brain in the prefrontal cortex that controls linear thought is dormant or mostly dialed down when we're in REM dream sleep I had a lot of people after 9/11 tell me they dreamed about it beforehand oh that's crazy yeah I remember my ex-husband had a major overdose where he basically died and then came back to life and the night before I and we weren't talking at the time we were going through a divorce and I had a dream the night before and it was that I went to his funeral and I was at his funeral and I was crying and I was like you know I just need to call him I was driving to a photo shoot I remember I was going to unbedded at Canyon and this is in real life and then I called he'd an answer and I was like whatever we weren't really talking so I was like he's just not answering me but I remember calling my mom just to tell her about my dream which I don't do but I just needed to like get it out yeah and then I did my photo shoot at the end of my shoot my sister called me and was like Lamar overdosed they and they told me the hospital set at one point he passed away and I was like my dream and it was like oh in real life they told you he passed away and they told me he passed away and then I get to the hospital they're like oh he's still alive just kidding yeah I'm like okay that was a doozy of me okay that's really interesting but I never had something and of course I when I found out about him I didn't remember my dream my mom was the one okay because I was so emotional and yeah not thinking and my mom was like you called me this more like she brought it up and I was like you're right and I and then I think that's why I was so upset because I was like I just I just thought he was gone as anyone would if they tell you that but that would be the strongest dream that's actually come true I mean the Hurricane Katrina I didn't know or didn't have a personal connection there and I just I've never understood why I had that dream and I had one other dream that was probably the most vivid dream of my life that like I'll never ever forget it was not even the dream itself it's how the dream made me feel like it was the most peaceful beautiful I swear I think I saw either God or heaven right and it was the most beautiful majestic gorgeous glowing white place I've ever seen in my life like I will never forget it I was in Turkey in another country it was just like the most intense feeling and waking up I've never had a feeling like that ever and that's the only dream I've ever had like that it was a white horse and there was a gentleman I know for sure on the horse but they were glowing I couldn't make out their face but we had some dialogue that I can't remember it was the feeling and it was the most beautiful happy joyous I woke up like crying tears of joy it was like the most beautiful thing and I've never forgotten that feeling I bet it was your father probably I bet that was a contact dream because I believe those happen because you know that's what propelled my whole career so the way that happens because you know I always like to understand the mechanics of things yeah you know so like when I was talking about the precognitive dreaming and how we're able to do that theoretically because the prefrontal cortex that controls linear thought is dialed down so our consciousness is able to go outbound now with contact dreams like that it's the opposite we're receiving rather than going outbound and here's how I believe that works so the brain's always working in ways right everything that exists is in waves light waves sound waves microwaves so when we enter REM dream sleep our brain waves slow down to what is the perfect frequency we're able to tune in or receive you know like a radio the other consciousness that's out there and so I believe that's how we're able to receive messages communication from those that have passed on I think it's so beautiful when you get those experiences Theresa may have even said this I have a medium friend and she said that the other side is what is reality it and this is more like the dream and the other side is what is reality you guys know my life is a little non-stop it's like mom mode work mode running around all day and then somehow I still want to look cute for dinner or plans without changing five times that's honestly why I always go to revolve when you're balancing mom life travel and actually having a life and you need an outfit that looks competent effortless revolve is my go to everything is styled out in a way that makes sense so whether it's school drop off a dinner day or a night out it's easy to find your vibe without spiraling or scrolling forever I also love that once I find a piece I like they show me similar options so I can build a full outfit because I don't have time to think through all of that anymore and you can shop by vibe like date night night out vacation so whether I'm packing or getting ready fast it just saves me and they actually just launched something new that I'm really into it's called revolve LA it's their own in-house label and it feels super elevated really clean confident pieces that feel expensive but still effortless it's the kind of stuff you put on and instantly feel put together whether it's for dinner and night out or traveling this is the brand to watch I recently wore one of their sets during the day with Tatum and Tru and then straight to dinner and I felt so comfortable but still really put together and that is always the goal for me revolve has all the brands I actually wear new arrivals daily include Sizing and the best customer service, fast shipping easy returns. It just works. Whether you're in mom mode, plenty of night out or traveling, Revolve makes getting dressed easy. Go to Revolve.com and check out their new Revolve LA label. You can shop my favorites and get 15% off your first order with Code Chloe. Fast shipping easy returns. It just works. That's Revolve.com/Cloey to shop my favorites and get 15% off your first order. Offer ends equally, so don't miss out. Spring always feels like a little reminder to check in with yourself and ask what actually feels like me right now. Not what's trending, just what feels good for you in this season of your life. And honestly, I think self-expression shows up in the smallest places. How you start your morning, how you take a break, how you treat yourself in the middle of a busy day. And for me, that little moment of self-expression is my Starbucks order. It's such a simple thing, but I love that I can walk in and make my drink feel like mine every single time. If you know me, you know I am obsessed with an extra hot, venti chai latte. Whole milk, seven pumps chai, seven pumps classic, no water. It's cozy, it's bold, it's exactly what I want. But honestly, what I love about Starbucks right now is that they refreshed their chai so you can actually customize the sweetness level. And you guys know I love options. I am loyal to my go-to order, like truly loyal, but now I can switch things up depending on my mood. Some days I'm sticking with my classic. Other days I'm like, okay, I want to be a little spicy, a little less sweet. Maybe add a seasonal twist. I love that my drink can basically match my energy of that day. And that's what I love about Starbucks, that there's no right way to order your chai. Especially now that you can customize the sweetness of your chai. Change the milk, add the cold foam. You get to build your drink around your mood, your routine, your vibe of that day. Some days I want comfort. And some days I want to switch it up. And some days I just want that something that feels familiar. That's the kind of energy I'm trying to bring into spring. Choosing myself in little ways, even in something as small as customizing my coffee order. It's not about perfection. It's about letting your everyday routines reflect who you are right now. Customize your chai your way at Starbucks. Order now on the app. I'm Armenian and I remember the older women in my family would always put a cup of water by your bed. I don't that's interesting. I can't remember. But like not like a one within not with a closed lid. Like it has to be like an open cup of water. And I can't remember why they used to say that, but it used to encourage the dreams to come. Oh, kind of like the dream catcher. Maybe. Yeah. That's interesting. That's very interesting. I did have a question about sex dreams. Okay. What are sex dreams? And because I've I know people that climax or can do all of that in a sex dream. Okay. Okay, so sex dreams are they're very very interesting. Now as women, we tend to get them the most mid cycle. Okay. Because that's when we're ovulating. And you know, that's what our bodies are meant to do. And so you're you're going to be more heightened at that time. And so you're more likely to get the sex dream. Also, after early 20s, women will orgasm in their dreams far more than men and almost never do after early 20s. Why is that? I think that's connected to, you know, your sexual peak, when we peak way later in life than they do. So the meaning behind sex dreams, it's rarely about a physical union you want. But more about a psychological union you need. Okay. So if you get one of those dreams about someone you would never touch with a 10 foot pole. Don't run into the shower. It's okay. It just means that there's something about that person that you want to take on as your own. Maybe there's something about their personality, something about their life. Or maybe you even had a conversation with them where you connected in some way. So sex dreams are about connection. Maybe you've connected intellectually or emotionally with them. Or maybe there's something about them you want to connect into yourself. That makes sense. So if you're it doesn't mean it's about okay. I mean, it can. Yeah. I mean, if you know that you are really into this person and then you have that dream, you're just safely exploring the possibilities. And the reason why we orgasm actually is because the body does not know the difference between a dream event and a waking event. But doesn't mean you're like touching yourself. No. Right. It just happens. Yeah. You will as a woman, you are far more likely to complete the dream. That's actually in real life. That's so interesting. And then rarely do. And thankfully because it's way more messy. Yeah. I do feel like sex dreams are really taboo and people don't talk about them. Right. But they're they're good for you psychologically because they're letting you know something you need to incorporate into your behavior or into your mindset or even into your life. So what I tell people when they get that sort of dream, what's the first thing it comes to mind when you think of that person? Now is that something that would be beneficial to you if you incorporated it into yourself? Because you know the active sex is the merger of two separate entities becoming one. So the dreamy mind will use that. So it's not about the physical merger but the psychological merger. There's certain things like people will say if your teeth are falling out, that can mean something. There's certain let's say top five visuals that people get that I hear mean X, Y and Z. So what we're talking about are archetypes which are symbols or themes into dream that most of us tend to get and will mean mostly the same thing. Now of course, dreams are very personal to the dreamer. And you know, your own personal experiences will shape what each symbol means for you. But archetypically, generally speaking, like you mentioned the teeth falling out, have you had that? I feel like I have, but years ago. Okay, so that dream is so common because it's connected to a common behavior pattern of speaking without thinking about it first. Oh, totally then. People who don't have a filter tend to get it. Yes. Or people in the radio industry get it because they speak for a living. So anything having to do with the mouth in a dream, your teeth, your lips, your tongue, the throat area will usually be connected to communication. So if your teeth are falling out, it's usually because you've allowed something out of your mouth that should have stayed in there permanently like your team. Got it. Tornados are really common. No, I've never tried to. You're a hurricane dreamer. Yeah. Apparently. What's a tornado? Okay, so tornadoes are really common in dreams because any kind of weather in a dream is usually going to represent your emotions because your emotions are the weather of the mind. Right. So tornadoes are the most common because they represent worry and anxiety that's beginning to spin out of control. So there's a lot of people who that's like their recurring dream. And they're usually proud, hard-carrying members of the worry work club. So the tornado is the way your subconscious is trying to show you what this worry and anxiety, what a destructive force it is to your psyche. You're worrying about something that's probably beyond your control. Just as a tornado is beyond anyone's control. Another common one is, oh, dreaming your partner's cheating. This one I get asked about probably that in the X. That's an interesting one. Both of them get asked about probably more than anything. So obviously if there is some sort of infidelity in your past and you're dreaming this, that's a clear sign that you've not healed. Right. Even if you're in a different relationship that because it's trauma. It is. It's trauma to the psyche. And it's it's hard to ever trust again. So if you're still getting the dream, it's letting you know you've got more healing to do. And how do you know it's not a premonition? Okay. First of all, you want to ask yourself, is there other than the dream? Are there any other red flags? You know, is there anything else that just seems off? Anything else here she has said or done that just makes you give the side eye? Then it could be your intuition. Now if it seems to me coming completely out of left field and you know that's not happening, but you're getting this dream, it's because there is a third wheel in the relationship, but it's not necessarily another person. It's more likely another thing like their phone or a side hustle or the hot rod in the garage. Or they're working too much. It could be a new baby even a new pet. It's something that's causing you to feel like you're not getting the attention in the time you feel you deserve or that you're used to get. And so these dreams are good for you as all dreams are because they're shining a light on something you're subconscious wants you to fix. Okay. And what about dreaming of an X? Okay, dreaming of the X. Even in like a romantic way. Like I had dreams of X's, but it's me, like transported back, it wouldn't be like the current me. So it's almost like a memory. Oh, okay. So you're not you now, your way back? Yes. Okay. And how do those dreams play out? You're like getting back with this person? No, it was just like we were, like we're still in that time front, like let's say 2015 or whatever. It would be, it would be the same place, time, our relationship, if we were together at that year, I've dream, it was almost like a memory and I'm like, why did I dream or was I just reliving something that already happened? Yeah, did you time travel? Probably. Yeah. Okay. So when we dream of an X in that capacity and you're like back together with them, there's likely, it's one of two main things. There could be something going on now that feels similar to back then. So then you want to ask yourself, is this a good thing? Am I repeating a behavior that my subconscious is warning me about? Or is it, oh, okay, I like this. I liked this about that person and I like this about this same person. Another reason we'll get the X is, okay, abuse of X's, I have a lot of clients ask me about, you know, I've moved on, I, you know, I got out of it, I'm good, but I keep dreaming, I'm getting back with them. Why? So the reason why that happens is because it's actually a sign of healing. Oh, good. Your subconscious is showing you that you're making peace with that part of your life because we tend to blame ourselves when we go through something terrible like that. Right. Right. Why didn't I get out? Why did I let it go on so long? My kids witness it, but the subconscious is saying, oh, look where you are now. Make a peace with it. It helps you become who you are. I've heard that any face you see in a dream is someone that you, you have to know you can't create. Right. Faces is that. I disagree with that. I disagree with that, too. Yeah. I mean, how, how could you possibly track that? Right. Because whenever I read about that, I'm like, well, how do you know that? How is that? How did they formulate that? What data? Did they use? Well, and they'll say, oh, what could have been if I'm walking through the mall and I see a stranger, but my brain isn't capturing that person's face for me to then dream about it later. I think what that does, and I've seen that before many times. I think that's reducing the power of our own creativity. And your dreams be completely your imagination. Is it something that I've had to see before or can I create this whole world that I've never encountered? Well, I think you can create it. Now, most dreams and like the setting of our dreams are based on familiar things. Like, maybe you're in your kitchen and you walk out the door and you're in your third grade class, you know, dreams will want to gather different sections of our life. But I do think that our dreams can create new things, you know, and we have so many things in our world because someone dreamed it because it didn't exist before. Right. Like, the search engine Google is from a dream Larry Page had. No way. So he woke up from remembering a dream about being able to download everything at once. I, I may not be getting this exactly right, but so he saw like all these links to everything. And so he immediately woke up and ran down to Starbucks or his local coffee shop and he was like taking notes on his napkins and then he called his business part and he goes, I've got this idea. This is, I think this is something we can do. What do you think? That's crazy. And his business part thought he was crazy, but they worked it out and they did it. Here we are. So I always think like anything in a movie, a mermaid, a fair, like I am such a believer of everything because I feel like well, someone had to see this somewhere and it could have been a dream. It doesn't mean it was actual something tangible in real life, but someone saw it somewhere. Someone's brain was creative enough or in some other reality, they've seen this. Yes. Touching on is something called the collective unconscious. Everything, all energy, all consciousness, everything is out there. Everything that has yet to happen, everything that has yet to be created. Everything that has already been created and how it became created. It's all out there, the collective unconscious. And when we dream and our brainwaves are at that perfect frequency, we're able to tune in to different things, Thomas Edison used to call it grabbing ideas from space, which is probably quite literally what we can do when we're dreaming. Do you set your room, like saying that you have to be at the perfect vibration or any of that? Do you set your room in a certain temperature? Do you have like my daughter and son's sleep with a sound machine? Yes. Do you like that or is that distracting for yourself? No. Yes, I do that. I have it at 73 degrees and I have to have on my sound machine. I also have, you probably won't need it yet, but the bedjet sheets, they're air-conditioned sheets. Okay, love. Love that. So I have those going too. So you have a certain, like you have to set everything, a certain ambiance, the setting to sleep. Yes. Yes. And then when I travel, of course, I have to take my pillow with me and my sound machine. I've always was curious about the sound machine because I didn't grow up with one and my kids like they need it to sleep. And then when I'm laying in bed putting them to sleep, I fall asleep in two seconds. I think it's amazing, but I always wonder if that is distracting me from dreaming or is that affecting them? What sound does it make? The white noise? Okay, yeah. Is that good? No, white noise is good. Okay. Also, rhythmic noises. Like, you know, the sound of the dishwasher's shirt. Hmm. Okay. Yes. Yes. That's a good question. Colors are very important to pay attention to injury. In fact, everything is. There is never ever anything in your dream that is random, ever, everything down to what you're wearing, down to what people say, down to what's like sitting on the table on your dream. Everything is a piece of the puzzle and was pieced together by your wise dreaming mind to give you a message you need to know right now about your life. Hmm. So speaking of colors, when a color stands out in a dream, it is for a reason. Now there's the archetypical meaning of colors like blue can often represent depression. The blues. White is often the color of new beginnings starting over. It can be a red flag, you know, like your subconscious going warning warning, yeah, but it could also be passion, depending on the context, you know, the dream. Black often represents mystery, the unknown. Green can represent envy, it can also represent growth, yellow can represent fear, but it could also represent joy, you know, depending on the context. But the way to figure out the personal meaning to you, if the archetypical meaning doesn't fit what's going on in your life right now, then this is a question I ask my clients when we get stuck and this is a question to always ask yourself when figuring out your own dream. Where does your mind go when you think of that color, kind of like the word association game? What comes to mind? What comes to mind? What comes to mind? Is it a school color? Was it the color of your favorite sweater that you used to have? Where does it go and then whatever sticks out, that is going to be connected to the message. So maybe it say it was your very, very favorite sweater that you used to have and you always felt like beautiful when you wore it. If that color shows up in a dream, okay, what's going on now where you need to feel that again? I'm so curious about nightmares. Okay. So nightmares begin usually somewhere between two and four years old. Yes. Are your kids having them? My daughter was having them last night she had one. Oh no. But it wasn't bad. Like she came to my room really calm and just said, "Mom, you had a nightmare?" I was like, "Come on, girl, get him bad." And she was fine. She wanted to talk a little bit, but she doesn't like to talk about the nightmare. Like she doesn't want to make it, I think, real. My daughter definitely has a little bit of a gift. So she, I believe everything, my kids, like if they're like, "There's someone in my room." I'm like, "Let's go kick it's ass." Like I'm not one of those people. It's like, "Go to bed. I don't believe you. I believe everything." I'm like, "Who's in there?" So she's dreamed about things and I don't know if she's either been awake and see something or if she's really dreaming it. That true has, she does have vivid dreams, but talking about nightmares, she doesn't like to talk about them, but she will say I had a nightmare and it was normally, it's like a, she has said in the past that it's a shadowy man or something like that, but she won't go into a lot of details. A shadowy man. Yes. Okay. Well, that's very interesting. Okay. So nightmares, now they're normal and they're actually healthy for children. Unless they're, you know, becoming. coming too much. If the nightmare here and there happens, it's normal, it's healthy, and it indicates that the child is beginning to process negativity. And they're learning how to deal with it. And usually something will have triggered the nightmare, like maybe the goldfish died, or maybe someone at school was mean to them, or they got in trouble. Something will trigger it. And then as we get older, we'll still get them. And they're caused by a couple of things. They're caused by a difficult issue we don't know how to work through. They can be caused, of course, by something from the past that still affects us today. They're usually caused by something that's just very upsetting. So when you get a nightmare, ask yourself, "What is the most upsetting thing going on in my life right now?" That will be what caused it. If there's nothing upsetting going on in your life right now, then there's likely something from the past that still causes you to behave a certain way because that happened. And your subconscious is trying to alert you to the fact that this negative thing is still affecting you. Let's work through it. And so when you are able to pinpoint what caused the nightmare, and then you begin actively working to correct it, even just the first little step towards fixing it, the nightmares will stop. Like when I said I had a nightmare not too long ago, it was about being stabbed. Like someone was stabbing me. Oh wow. It was so dark and horrible. And it's the one dream I remember in ages. And I remember waking up and I said a prayer because I was like, "I do not like this energy. What was that about?" And I also think I had something to do with my kids because I remember praying about like just like covering all of us. Let's unpack that. Yeah. You were being stabbed. Yeah. Okay. Do you recall who it was? No. And I don't think it was someone in your body where you being stabbed. Torso. Torso. Okay. As the stabbing is happening, it's like a horrible dream. As you're being stabbed, do you remember what you were thinking? No. I just remember what I do remember is how much I didn't like that I knew I was dreaming. I didn't like I was dreaming. And then I was also. And I can't remember if I had this thought when I woke up or in my dream. And I remember saying either at one of the times, you don't remember a dream and this is the dream. We'll remember. Like I just remember that. And I was like, "Wake up. Like get out of this." And I just kept remembering that energy, but I don't remember. Oh. You did say to yourself, "Get out of this." Yeah. I was just like, what? Okay. Yeah. Like I don't like this. That might actually help us. Now when we're stabbed most often, it's because we have been the victim of someone's cutting remarks. Oh, easy. Just kidding. Do you recall at that time anyone saying anything hurtful or critical to you? I don't remember specifically, but I'm. I hear critical hurtful things on like a daily basis, but I can't remember what. I don't think there was one that stuck out to me. Okay. And it was stabbing, not slicing. Stabbing. Okay. Because actually it makes a difference. Wow. Yeah. Every little detail. And it was a knife. Knife. And it was the torso. Mm-hmm. Okay. So that area is about reproduction and about weight, usually. Anything going on there that's been difficult. But could it be like chest. I just remember it was like this part of my body. Okay. So not just stomach. Okay. So you're getting stabbed up here too? Yes. Okay. Oh my god. This is so morbid. You guys are so sorry. I know. But they don't always mean that. Right. Right. Yes. Right. It's just so through a nose. Yeah. It's symbolic. Yes. The chest is usually about. It can be about your emotions as well as getting something off your chest. Mm-hmm. So my first thought is maybe something was going on that was upsetting you. Someone perhaps had said something that cut like a knife, so to speak. Right. Okay. And the chest is being brought to attention because you need to get this off your chest. Also, you had the thought I need to get out of this. Yes. Any thought you have in a dream is going to be the most important part of the dream. Mm-hmm. So at that time, can you remember, was there something going on that you needed to get out of? No, like I never remember saying, "Oh, I never remember feeling like this hurts." I just remember more. This is scary. It's not my thing. I don't want to be here. But I don't remember feeling pain. I don't remember seeing blood. I need to get out of here and I don't want to be here. Right. Okay. So those are actually really important thoughts and they may get us somewhere. Mm-hmm. Okay. So I don't want to be here. Could mean. I don't want to be here in this mindset. Mm-hmm. So at the time, maybe you were in a bad mindset or it could be, "I don't want to be here in this situation." Maybe at the time, you were in a difficult situation you wanted out of. I need to use your app. And what do you do on your app when if I have this dream, I just can record little things like that. Yeah. So you can type it in or talk it in. It's called Dream Chat with Laurie, L-A-R-I. So you type it in or you talk it in and then it starts out. It'll ask you questions like I'm asking you right now. Oh, interesting. It'll first tell you, okay, well, here's a couple ideas. And if you don't know some of the answers, it will still. It's a conversation. Okay. And so I've programmed it to think like me. So it will ask you these sort of things, "Okay, well, where does your mind go?" And also the thing about this app is that it has a day journal in it. So before you go to bed, there's five questions you fill out that are actually the ingredients of your dreams. So like, what upset you today? What kind of significant conversation, email or text did you have today? What were you excited about today? What was positive today? What was on your mind the most today? So you put that in at night, you have your dream, you wake up in the morning, you type your dream in, and then it pulls from that and makes connections for you. It takes a snapshot of your dream and puts you in it. Oh, wow. Because you upload a selfie. And so it always uses that selfie to put you in the picture like a visual. Yes. Now if you have a dream and you don't want to see yourself getting stabbed, you can turn off your art. But otherwise, I'm like, "Wait, for that one, I don't want to see that one." If you're changing a fairies or a way of hurting, you'll get a nice little image of it. What about sleep paralysis? I think I told you I had night terrors. Yeah. But I had sleep paralysis where I would literally, and if someone I would literally like be crying or saying, like, "I need to wake up, I need to wake up." One time, my sister was sleeping with me and I was talking and she's like, "You're fine, wake up and I could not wake up." And I was like, "Wake me up. Oh, I hate that. I hate that." And it was horrible. They literally had to put a wet washcloth on me to wake me up. I haven't had those since I've been, I think, 19 because my dad died at 19. But it was the most horrific types of dreams and I never, ever, ever wish a sleep paralysis on anyone. Yeah, they're terrible. Horrible. Okay. So here's the thing about sleep paralysis. It is harmless. Okay. Nothing bad. They don't feel like it. No, they don't feel like it. Oh my god. So here's what happens when you get sleep paralysis. It's usually caused by a fitful night of sleep, bad sleep. Your sleep routine is messed up. Now, when we go to sleep and we enter the dream phase, REM, the brain releases a chemical that paralyzes your skeletal muscles. It's a built-in safety mechanism so you don't get up and act out your dream. When we're having a fitful night of sleep or we're just not sleeping good, we can start to wake up before our brain can catch up and we activate our skeletal muscles. It's crazy. So we get stuck very briefly in the in-between state. It's got hypnagogia and you're awake in your sleep at the same time, but you can't move because your body still paralyzed. Now what's going on in the brain is the amygdala, the fear center of the brain is highly active during sleep paralysis. So that's why it's always such a frightening experience. Now it is also a hallucinatory experience and you can hear maybe whispers or you will perceive someone sitting on your chest or on the bed or maybe in the corner of the room. And that's not real. That's just your brain doing that. And a lot back in the old days, they called this the old hag syndrome because they thought that that sinister presence in the room was a witch. Well, I've I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah. And it definitely seems like some dark. Yes. People think that they're being abducted by an alien or that they're being haunted or they're having a demonic possession. And you're not. You're just stuck. It's a it's a but how do you talk yourself through that? Okay. So what when you know what it is, usually once you understand what it is and it happens, you're aware. Okay. I know what this is. You can turn it into a lucid dream. And you can that would be way better than yes. You can know yourself to float out of your body or just have fun with it. Can you explain? Because I think I think that would help a lot of people. I think if anyone's ever experienced a sleep paralysis, it's like terrifying. I hated like I still remember that feeling. It was horrible. I would have loved to have had some tools, even now I'm like praying. I'm not talking about this. And then I'm going to have this. So I'm like, please, I want to say so many prayers. But what are a few things you can do? you to take control to get out of the sleep paralysis. So the best way to avoid it is to always have the same sleep routine, you know, make sure you get enough good, solid sleep. But when it does happen, when you know what it is, odds are good, you're going to understand what's happening as it's happening. And so you will know, okay, I know what this is and I know it's not going to last long and I'll be out of it in seconds. That will calm you. Then go ahead and try to turn it into a lucid dream and say, okay, I'm going to float out of bed. That's the easiest thing to do because you're already lying down. Or you can ask questions. If that sleep demon or whatever is in your sleep paralysis episode, ask a question. Pretend it's a lucid dream because it kind of sort of is. And does everyone have this much control in their dreams like how you're like, you can ask questions. To me, I'm thinking, how do I know I can even talk in my dream like when you're in the sleep paralysis? Yes, like I feel like you are, you have so many dreams and you have such control over your dreams. Me, I feel like I haven't dreamt in forever. I know I do dream. I just can't remember my dreams. I don't know if my first thought would be like, oh, I'm dreaming. I can talk at this point. How do you strengthen, whether it be like the trust in yourself during your dreams or how do you strengthen that ability? Well, the biggest element to this is just knowing what it is. The thing that's so scary about it is that when it happens, most people don't know what's happening. They don't know what it is. But once you understand what it is, you usually do have enough consciousness to be able to say, okay, this is sleep paralysis. It's not going to last. Let me see what I can do with it. Sometimes that's all it takes. It's just knowing. I never knew what it was when it was happening to me and it is the weirdest sensation because you're almost like how I felt was as if I was like hovering above my body and I could see me sleeping. So it's just, you know, knowledge is only a few seconds. Yeah. Never last very long. It can seem like it, but it really doesn't last long. Yeah, I feel like. Your body just, your brain just has to kind of catch up like, oh, where are we going to get the body moving? Right. I had this experience, I was much younger, but I had a dream of someone. And I knew and I wasn't going to call the person and tell them. And then they had a dream of me the same night. They called me to say, I dreamt of you last night. And I said, I dreamt of you last night. It was like we met up in our dreams. Is that a real thing? Okay. So there's a couple of things to me. There's a couple of things you might be touching on. One is called shared dreaming, where you and someone else have the same or similar dream on the same night. And that usually happens to people that are very close, like best friends, sisters, mother daughter, husband, wife, boyfriend, and girlfriend. People that are very, very close. And you have the same or similar dream because you're dealing with the same issue in some way. And you're subconscious response in a similar way because you're on the same wavelength. I guess. Yeah. Because you're so close. And so you're subconscious response in a very similar way with similar themes and symbols in the dream. Do you have any advice you would give to people about sleep or dreams or just any tips even about how to get good dreams? So start paying attention to your dreams because they are the most powerful part of who you are. They are your built-in GPS. They are your built-in Mel Robbins. And they are your built-in best friend. Your built-in brutally honest best friend who's going to tell you what you need to know whether you like it or not. And they're helping you navigate life. And they're giving you great ideas. And they're helping you problem solve. They're helping you become who you're supposed to be. So start paying attention to them, start journaling them, start talking about them, start listening to them, start paying attention to the patterns of your dreams. Like do you keep dreaming you're attacked by a bear? Start keeping a day journal. Not my apple. Do this for you, dream chat with Laurie. Start keeping a day journal in tandem with your dreams. Because then you'll start to see, oh, every time I dream, I'm attacked by a bear, I had a phone call with my mother. So it helps you get your life right. It helps you recognize patterns. It helps you be a very powerful force in your own life. Don't be afraid of the bad dreams. They're good for you. They're helping you with a very difficult situation. That's why the dream is difficult because there's something difficult you need to work through. Teach your children to talk about their dreams. Even nightmares. Even the nightmares. Okay. Children, what you can do when they're having nightmares, try to help them figure out what caused it. Okay. It'll be something from the day before usually and what happened true that upset you yesterday. You know what? What was difficult yesterday? And then they'll be able to pinpoint it. And then you have something tangible in real life you can help them with, but also to help them not be afraid of the dream. This is a little trick. The younger they are, like under four, you can say, okay, we're just going to flip the pillow over because that's the good dream side. Something that simple is suggestive enough that that'll stop the nightmare. But when they get a little older, talking about the nightmare with them and guiding them through changing the nightmare. So you can have fun with it. You can draw it out. Like if there's some kind of weird monster in the dream, you say, okay, draw it. And then, you know, make it silly after they've drawn it, you know, put a big old bow on the horn or whatever. You know, make it silly. Let them control how they change it. Okay. You can guide them, but you got to let them have the control. Also, you can do it in comic book form at their older, but let them have the control and how they decide to change it because they're taking the scary out of it. And they're learning, oh, I can have control. Ultimately, children get nightmares because something's making them feel powerless. This gives them a sense of control and power. And I can change things for the better. Do you think it matters like when people watch a scary show before bed? Yeah. Right? Yeah. Because I believe that. Yeah. It's best. You know, some people are disincentized to it and they can watch Breaking Bad and they're fine. But some people are more sensitive. So if you're more sensitive, don't do that. You know what? A chick flick. Right. Totally. Or read something inspiring or just journal before you go to bed so that you don't, you don't need to put fuel on the fire, so to speak. And for kids, the same thing, like my daughter doesn't watch anything scary. My son, we just read books before bed, but sometimes I'm questioning if she has a nightmare, was it something that she was just watching before? It could be. It's not really scary, but it's, I, I've normally left it alone when she doesn't want to talk about it, so I want to respect that. But I've, I always think like, let's talk about it because then we're making it like not real. And if she's suppressing it, that makes me nervous, but I'll encourage her to try to talk about it more. Yeah. See if you can get her to do that and, you know, be creative with it too. The coloring thing is cute and she enjoys that. Yeah. Yeah. Very smart. What do you love most about the work that you do? I love seeing people get their aha moments when I help them make connections with their dreams because it's, first of all, it's, even for me, when I make my own aha moments, it's magical. I was like, oh, yes, you've got my back subconscious. I really appreciate that. You're so good to me. Yeah. And when I see people, I'm working with, go through that. It's reinforces how powerful this thing is within us. The dreaming mind is so amazing. It's magical. It's so helpful. It's so wise. And so when I see people, you know, make big connections and then they have something, because it's not just, oh, that's what my dream means. It's like, oh, I have a takeaway. I understand this better now so I can handle it better now or I understand it better now so I know what to do now. It can be so life-changing and I love seeing people get that aha moment. That's my favorite thing. Thank you so much for coming and talking about all things dreams. It was so interesting and I'm so grateful. Thank you.