Drama In The Family

somebody got a dead cow head thrown through their front window that's cool when you say through the windshield like it's shattered through the house window the front window marty through the front window dude not through the car perfect hey what's up guys welcome back to the dopest usual podcast my name is thomas dopest yolo whatever you want to call me i have this guy here at the table we we figure something out guys marty we we're gonna try this episode if it works awesome all right so our problem was marty was at this table and every one of those things was in the shot you and it looks stupid the live switcher the macbook and then none of this could be seen yeah none of this whole area my gear so we're gonna try something all right we're gonna see if rocco can do this and if it works and if marty's have to get up we might be able to have marty back at the table which would be very very cool but when we have a guest i'm not sure if i'm gonna sit here i'm gonna sit here you'll find out next guest episode we're gonna we solve the problem by putting that over there we we'll figure it out we're here we're gonna try rocco hit us on the cameras one time here we go we need headphones dude next time yeah headphones are coming back all right we're gonna put the little the little speaker box thing over here not to be confused with the what was it the speaker box album from big boy remember that double disc album that's the last time we went to a renaissance fair we're on the way mom was pregnant with you oh and out when hey y'all dropped it came out i was all roses smell like dude this song's stupid and we got to the renaissance fair whoa renaissance my mom's pregnant and then some guy threw a shield and it hit my mom right in the stomach and she lost her shit on this guy even though it was an accident his friends he was like six eight and probably 20 years old with a beard like memphis just a huge kid he looked like he was gonna fucking cry when my mom got mad at him it was bad hit her in the stomach with a shield while she was pregnant yeah yeah i mean yeah but it wasn't like a shield like it's like the kid they were kind of like oh my job man and he like hit her okay come on man that was a dick anyway that's the last time uh speaker box i have adhd did you guys know that did your mom see the did she react to that post we put up the one where you called her a fucking idiot off the top oh no i didn't about the girl in front of the in front of the club didn't crickets find me in the club came out when i was in the sixth grade no i'm just kidding the motherfucking mage mazer we blew his shit up this past week bro i'm really thugging he went up like three four k followers i don't know if that was us or not are you ready i read some comments on the on the on youtube on instagram you're late oh i know a lot of them you're months late that's all it says just finding out about this oh my god watch our instagram guys you know what every solo episode we do 10 minutes called unrestricted and if we have to blur out the clip we'll blur out the clip we need to show five clips every solo episode on unrestricted every single friday marty and i chill for what we say is gonna be 40 minutes it turns into an hour and 28 minutes every time every time and we should show the most horrible clips insane clips it's awesome it's fun it's like ridiculousness but just without a black guy you like that just kidding i know that and chanel west coast i'm sorry i'm sorry you're taking chanel west coast yeah yeah i'm gonna do this while i wear dc shoes and a straight build actually you're right i'm the i'm the mix i'm the perfect i'm the mix of chanel and stilo because like i rap and shit like chanel i bring the videos back and shit like stilo so and you have the flat build hat i'm just big black in this situation big browns over here big black 10 years ago today i just saw the post right before we started get the fuck nine years ago today that's that's horrible remember when he had the balenciaga logo popping with his big black i didn't know what balenciaga meant either i was like what blues is that russian and i just kept doing whatever i was doing the first time i saw a designer thing and went it was during covid we watched sex in the city never watched it and rose was like let's watch it when i watch it what's all these person what's valentino mean what's jimmy choo i don't know what the fuck this means and i'm like oh it matters like girls like oh that shit's it's like fools like these are these are the six these are the fours oh in the colorway mocha this but oh okay cool and i get it it's the first time i ever saw anything designer was in 2020 right when covid started i learned about that shit with you yeah i'm like what did you know there's these stores in the mall i genuinely didn't i didn't know where this shit came from i've never seen it i was just like there's like seven things in that store i don't want to go in that store every store that's designed was at gta like we have four shirts the same shirt in four colors i always assumed i wasn't allowed and i'm like in mighty ducks too when they go on rodeo and you got me dude you got me dude i did not watch it enough to remember that scene oh and watch mighty ducks one five times much money it's two and three once they're trying to get into like look at the girls and model the clothes on the uh on rodeo drive hockey yeah you played hockey that's different dude i'm so used to looking at you that i keep looking this way to look at you at least five times this episode we've been filming for six minutes or maybe 20 i don't know i don't know time on rodeo drive they're looking at chicks yes trying to go in and yes he's like my uncle aaron spelling is gonna be very displeased at this damn that's back when tori spelling was super famous oh 90210 was out wow the 90s were weird you want to hear something crazy seinfeld dropped on rose's birthday the day she was born seinfeld in that show are supposed to be 32 to 35 they were 32 to 35 george is supposed to be like morbidly obese too yeah and george is only supposed to be 30 i think when the search show started 30 he was the younger one or no same age as jerry sorry elaine's slightly younger kramer's like five years older anyway i've come to the real the essential like death thing of life i told rocco today i'll figure it out i'm gonna figure this out before we get old we're living we're living triple digits all right and it's not gonna start with one like what was it my level income and technology we live to 200 to 240 like a talladega nights like that shit's gonna happen dude so what the fuck was i talking about how old they were but they were young and boom it has been 36 years since that show has came out about to be 37 years they're now the old guys they were talking about in the show like what are you gonna do we're old i don't know they're now 70 plus all of them are about to hit 70 or 70 plus we watch these people's entire lives it's weird because the camera's so good still so it makes you feel like how how old is this it looks a little older almost 40 years old that means they're 75 gross gross and i watch these guys i watch seinfeld every single night it's on the projector i watch it every night no matter what that's how i fall asleep and these guys man i can start a show right now and then some kid that's seven is gonna be my age going that guy's 70 i'm like no i just feel like the world is click and if i don't pay attention i'm gonna fast forward way too fucking fast or hit next and be like oh shit let's get the decade damn it i went yesterday to this little ceremony they have my daughter's graduating high school tomorrow you want to talk about time warping by like it's like oh childhood's done i completed a kid like she's grown check one down i almost i did tear up a little bit that was weird to think damn because the whitest shit of all time like you were saying her elementary school was like yo all the kids graduated from the school wherever you went to high school all the kids the graduating class come back we're gonna take a picture yeah so you see like oh it was it was weird oh the kid that you remember yeah i met the opposite when i was in sixth grade the graduating class that year came back to our sixth grade class like we used to be in this class they saw the teacher i'm like you fools are old same way to 17. and i was only like 12. my daddy's fools are old moving out to our own apartment this weekend like it is a weird time warpy thing where i just feel like i just graduated high school and was like hopping off you know you're gonna be like i'm gonna be like you're gonna be like you're gonna and getting into the streets and shit like i'm like you understand i'm talking to her you understand like imagine a year from now you have a kid it just seems so far-fetched but i know everybody says it but that the time is a weird warpy thing you get you have a kid then you have like two three little chapters of life that happen the kid's grown it's weird maybe four four good chapters of life and now you got an adult i'm trying to go to neverland not michael jackson I'm trying to go to Peter Pan Neverland. I'm trying to go to hook Neverland. I'm not trying go to click i don't like it i've seen people when i do the show merced that people i went to high school with one yeah you're old i don't remember because i don't age like that i'm like california weather like what season it's december it's i'm sweating that's how i feel like how old are you i got carded a couple weeks ago i get it i understand yeah uh we had a situation with the police we had a really dumb situation with the police where heroin it was really it was the goofiest thing all the time and i had to come and pick up my kid and they didn't they they were like thought i was too young looking to be your dad and maybe he gave me an idea to make sure he wasn't stealing something that's right that's my kid it's just agreeing yeah you need the id dude oh maybe they thought you were like the old they thought i was just the homeboy coming through i didn't think about it like that i thought they were saying you're a creep but of course she but that's not my dad okay she was pulling some they thought they were pulling some uh ferris bueller exactly come here come on girl have you seen ferris bueller okay that's the reason i like the beatles good reference yeah he did no go for it he did twist and shout and i go what song is that grandpa and my grandpa was right he goes that's the beatles and he was right my grandpa was never right ever oh you got it he always just said for you to shut up so he could continue to watch what he was watching in a nice way but like yeah yeah yeah no no that's exactly what happened and keep moving on um yeah old weird weird times yeah oc sheriffs time three squad cars pull up on my daughter and her friends taco ball in the parking lot that's it that's how safe irvine is it was just apparently there's a curfew hey you're past curfew we're gonna hold you to your parents come they call me safe it is there pull me out about a 1 30 in the morning or whatever we had nothing else to do get me down there bruh some goofy ass you were walking with that screw she didn't picked up at taco bell right literally it's different when i graduated high school i was looking at uphill battle a struggle bro you got one in a billion chance of crashing out or making it i said to myself i don't want that for my kids my whole goal is so that they they don't have to feel like that when they graduate high school mission accomplished she's graduating great great she's going to santa barbara to go to school on the beach she's going to be chilling and have options so i just i encourage all you young people out there to think about that think about your future kids and i'm not struggling let that be your motivation because when i was a kid i just calculated my grade go we're not doing the school project my mom's not buying me this we're not putting a volcano together can i pass while not doing it i would calculate like now i'm going to take my b to a to an f i'm gonna feel i have to do this so my mom's my mom's like your older sister that's like do i have to bring him do i have to have him here like we weren't a this was optional you're not even religious get an abortion why am i here why am i encouraging you why am i here you should have just got rid of me if you didn't want me here you're not religious it's the 90s abortion's not bad oh no that was worse back then huh now house you like that the girl's gonna get mad the one girl watching right now is so bad the girl that you're moshing on last week at the club watching she's like i get it i understand oh real quick i forgot a piece of my set without even realizing it pissed me the off that's how you know you're a real comic though i completely went i was doing a set going did i forget i forgot my whole miami bit forgot it out of my gangster set because they cut i only had oh the dominican show yeah it happens it's fine it means you're there's a real black dude and i wanted to go hey oh yeah because they were dying i was like dying yes that's how you know you're just gonna laugh if you're dying at that you're fine anyway did the haha comedy club crushed it i genuinely looked around like don't hype me up dude don't scream there was people cackling cackle loud as do i had to wait i went damn what the i said that what the in my head i'm like that was not oh maybe it wasn't funny thanks guys thanks man you do have the best job thanks man start thanking the crowd and no i was talking about i'm just i have disabilities um i was talking about pineapple express but you do have the best job i do thanks man he's talking about you are you do have that best job you are a drug dealer um i don't remember what was happening anyway haha comedy club that was fun this is coming out after so you'll miss it uh sunday i'm just getting back from doing the emerald city comedy club in seattle i don't remember the street dope.com for all tickets uh i'll be with david lucas this weekend and i got unlimited time oh nice how many shows two one one it was five it was five four got reskept two days got rescheduled you're talking about the nonsense maybe next time the nonsense no i don't know i don't know if they want that out there like that i'll just say it's supposed to be five it's supposed to be five they got rescheduled david's the man um david's funny as i never see renee vaca set till i performed with him the other day for sure that was funny because you only see crowd work online mm-hmm funny is that's funny dude oh you don't think about that like they do the crowd work just to put out online but it's like yeah and that's why i don't post i'm not posting my set i'm not posted a little that suicide thing was a throwaway like it was just like yeah that was fun if i keep it keep if i don't it's fine i just thought of that while we were driving remember we're driving like ha yeah they do kill themselves for no reason huh japanese are dumb white man i just started writing it down um it's great but i just thought it was funny it was just like an easy thing i just made a i obviously there could be more to it but uh renee's funny as hell never seen him i've only seen him perform with ken and him and ken were just talking to each other on stage the whole set so i've never seen renee's jokes he's funny man funny dude real funny i'm excited he's crushing it so many people from the podcast are just crushing it in comedy right now oh renee told me he brought that 310 baby dude and he came up he's like you're the youtuber that smokes weed i go yeah i am what's up man he's all through and i go oh you're the dude from ethica the rapper because he has a collab with ethica we have his stuff in that room yes and renee's like he's going to show he won't he doesn't like me so i'm not on the show and i went are you for real he goes why am i on the show yeah i go i've asked you four times no you haven't how much you smoke for this did you ask me like full i've asked you multiple times i asked your manager i thought he's like oh i was like the last time i asked you was with ken and i was like i'm not going to keep asking dude we will ask you a dozen times just to make sure yeah after like the fits i'm like ah you let me know when you want to come on dude so we'll have renee on very soon um it was super sick jojo garcia uh i've been doing shows with a lot he's super cool super nice dude his dad uh passed away recently you guys probably know jeff garcia the comedian so jojo's his son he's been doing a lot of shows officially next month i'm gonna throw my own night oh just so i can get more time oh okay i'll go up there the haha or something like yo i'm gonna do 10 at the front host it bring up five different people and then how does that work you just tell them you want a night if i can fill up a room they're gonna be like i don't care who you are yeah okay yeah and i'll bring everybody out by 10 bucks dude i don't want to make money off this i'm gonna give all the money to the comedians it's usually the host that sets it up keeps the money but the first three i'm like yo i made two bands it's 500 it's 500 500. well good karma forever now i'll start trying to make money off comedy after once i'm like yeah no this is what i do yeah i'm excited guys and i talked about yesterday on live all i really care about is just doing more and more sets and more and more just doing more stuff i forgot dude marty what's the best stand-up you've ever seen don't say pimp chronicles unless that's the best one you've ever seen his eyes went big you see him it's definitely pimp chronicles is up pimp chronicles is up there the first things that pop into my mind is eddie murphy raw in the in the red uh chris rock bigger and blacker she i've never watched that no he had the colorado rockies logo in the background i've never seen it i remember the sets and the outfits uh chapelle the uh killed him softly yep baby on the corner uh hey baby and and rogan rogan rogan the one where he had the tnt thing on the front he had the yellow kango hat on and he was talking about iraq weed back stoner rogan that's all this fight so that's going to be my top that i can think of for now okay there was also some of the chapelle's recent too uh on netflix was really good too i like the one where he smoked a cigarette right all of them oh i'm just kidding all right so i'm a big uh fan of comedy you guys know that i want you guys to do me a favor no i want you guys to do yourselves a favor and watch a certain stand-up special marty you watch it too okay i don't know if you know who this is he's disappeared off the face of the earth he's he's just like prince it's like yeah i'll come back when i want and i'll drop some shit for you and disappear do you know who bo burnham is no so bo burnham there's a there's a stand-up he has many stand-up specials there's a stand-up special he has called what i believe it's his first one i think it might be hands down the best thing i've ever seen in terms of comedy and live performances okay it might be the most well thought out thing i've ever seen and makes the idea of my phone thing i was i don't want to say it but i have this i want to do a one-man show i don't really want to do stand-up like that i want to i want to be like this is a fucking play that's what i've always wanted to do i wanted to be if i do fucking story time and stories come out i want the background to fucking change fake trees come in and now i'm doing shit like i want this to be a show i want to be i don't give a fuck if in 10 years i'm like death was on broadway but yeah one man show asshole it's four years ago i want to do a one-man show i want to do a one-man show i want to do a one-man show it's four hours long and i have to go to the bathroom in the middle of it every time like it is so funny it is so good bo burnham's stand-up it's an hour like eight minutes oh man bo burnham sounds like the sickest producer tag of all time yeah marty he's just so fucking good i literally don't know anything about him might be the best stand-up i've ever seen in my life it's just so well thought out there's external environment things 10 of it is jokes there's a it's a one-man play there's lights changes there's there's a piano there's different instruments there's it's theater performance it's a theater performance that happens to be hilarious and this guy stands up and four times hard as fuck in the middle of a set and goes right back to what he's doing and doesn't miss a beat nobody went oh this one yeah that makes sense actually because this is the craziest shit i've ever seen in my life and please don't take away just that from this episode you might have to bleep that so we don't get censored we had to censor ourselves so we don't get more censored anyway it's so wild and off the wall that when you did it go yeah yeah what else could you do that would make me go oh so you're like over the top or is he like mitch hudberg with it no it's like watching crash bandicoot controlled like tasmanian devil when he cleans up the space jam walker or the floor controlled it is so spastic and weird and awkward and hilarious and well thought out and then you're like this is the goofiest thing while being like that's the deepest joke i've ever what the fuck is this guy gonna kill himself like that's how i feel like are you you're sad you can just hear like oh god you're so smart that you're sad it's it's like his it's hard to explain it's really weird so a lot of it's just going over people's heads mostly i wouldn't say all of it but a lot of it's like it's just hard to explain man a lot of it's music like a lot of it's music and he's playing the piano he's singing and he's got like real pixar style melodies like this shit's good it's incredible i love it so much i fucking can't get over how much how good it is dude it made me cry what age bracket is he now he's my age he's our age oh no shit exactly our age i was picturing like a josh wolf style character started he started when he was like 19 he was a big kid on vine 16 he started when he was 16 on vine he was the fun i thought he was funny on vine and then i saw him do some comedy once i go he's gonna be perfect for it and i saw a stand-up when it came out like 12 15 years ago but this is incredible what is this the best stand-up i've ever seen in person live was john mulaney at the at this hollywood bowl shocking that fool was so damn on point with every single thing there was not a single mess misused word like there wasn't any dead time there was no downtime there was no nothing it was that motherfucker i left to beat the traffic he was still on stage it was an hour and 28 minutes and i went we should there's no reason to keep going right no no he kept going i heard him while i was getting in the uber still it took like me 20 minutes to get my car and everything but i beat the traffic i just i don't know man and then one of the funniest things i've ever seen in like la one of the funniest sets i've ever seen rock open agree this is a comedian named ray lau he's an asian dude he is so fucking funny i just performed with him the other day and at the laugh factory oh okay yeah nice i came out to him like oh man your shit's funny he's like my brother's here because he's excited for you goes no i'll go you'll know who it is you'll know i just said he's hilarious like five times like oh so he knows exactly because i saw rocko later just running around taking pictures i'm like did you meet ray lau he goes yeah i told me it was funny every time i saw him we go yeah he's gonna be a superstar he's gonna be doing madison square garden one day i'm gonna call that shit right now that guy's so fucking funny and well put together it's over that i can't even remember the bit was but the way he was moving during that hip shit i'll never forget the way he's moving like that guy's funny dude it's funny you say that like it wasn't that long ago that like shane gillis and tony hunchback and all these like arena msg style comedians that we see now they were just like regular regular podcast circuit like that was not even that long ago regular dude it's so doable we're still funny yeah they just got the audience to go oh this guy's funny i never seen him that's all it takes it's just takes you to open up rayla i would have never known if i didn't see him perform when i went with rocko to laugh factory three months ago just to go watch we go see uh uh noelle miller but then we would go see but he didn't he end up canceling that night so that's what we all went to go see recently when saw romeo miller recently um that's how we saw rayla because he like i think he filled in gotcha oh man i love catching a new comic like that when you don't expect it that motherfuckers he's one of those guys that has a job like he's like coming up as a comedian still i was like you still have life experiences and observations just like i was on the road hey i was on the road like i don't know what it is man that funniest guy i've seen in a while funniest performance ever i saw the hollywood bowl and the best stand-up i've ever seen i think it has to be and i'm people some people won't agree i don't give a fuck that's just funny it's interesting you're getting like a different perspective from somebody working a day job than like a comedian that's on the road only doing comedy you're getting a such person just completely different and now being on stage going oh man this crowd sucks oh man this crowd's fucking dope john mulaney i can't it's gonna take me a while to get to that point do an hour and a half man oh my god masterful perfect i wish i almost want to take a class like he was talking about the improv class i almost want to take one of these fucking classes man i've never been taught anything the class before us and like entertainment you had to do that you had to do that shit they were all doing that for decades the comedians and actors and like people that became podcasters that second street those improv classes i think it just teach you to be better on your feet period like just quick yeah i gotta remember everyone in the audience is erin just talk shit it's okay i always hold back i always hold back dude yeah yeah that's weird and i keep going with my sex i want to forget it now it's like fuck my set what'd you just say i can see your knees why can't i see your knees right now dude you're at a fucking comedy show put some pants on go upstairs put on some lotion what is this damn i don't have to throw it no more that's cool you know for you being over there and me being a fucking dumbass i'm surprised i didn't gi joe you right zip line no no a whole put a gi joe on a zip line put a pen pen cap in his hand because it hangs onto the line and then you can stick the joint in the big pen cap gotta wait for that yeah i wasted that whole year and a half use one of these wires rid of it real easy dude when your sister sucks and your parents suck and nobody hangs out with you you come up with some shit fishing string and toys mother i'm gonna have an army dropping right now i used to make traps that was my thing with the fishing string and back in the day oh yeah no i wouldn't i don't want to hurt nobody my luck they hit their head after they fall just me i know my luck oh you lost your leg because of me the fishing wire got right through his leg or something stupid dude i don't know i wasn't thinking about that and i always think about that i had this one little cousin i was already trying to lower right into it like your dick walk right in here and like one of my fucking plastic knives there's an anvil on the door just walk right here i'm gonna kill you my aunt's gonna eat me yeah no okay you know what i lied i used to set little traps but like for my sister i put the water cup on top of the door open one time that's standard did not work they have to be lined up right under it like that's why they do buckets yeah you can't just do a water a pocahontas plastic water cup that gets hot and changes color with your body tip remember those that's what cup i put up there the body tip comes dude i came so close to getting april's aunt with the uh saran wrap on the doorway the one time you're a grown man yeah i was grown at the time okay i was like april that's where we like lived together okay the one you lived with you're trying to prank her yeah and then you just came home for a long day and paved his house also you think you can take me to the store and then move out and then in the studio because i'm a rapper yeah you're probably gonna happen you should have got her with the plasma i'm a rapper would you i wrapped you back would you expect all kinds of rap and it's coming out more bars what's up guys taking a moment to talk about the sponsor of this episode i want to say a special shout out to my bookie as you know you can bet with my bookie on anything anytime anywhere remember no matter what you do use our code dope as usual there's always a deal we always got something going right now we're doing the bet back bonus up to 500 if you lose your bet up to five hundred dollars if you lose your bet up to five hundred dollars if you lose your bet up to 500 my bookie will just refund you it's a win-win situation because even if you lose you get your money back but if you win you win this is a super cool first entry bonus deal they're doing with us non-stop championship stuff going on remember bet with my bookie right now you can bet on the stanley cup we got the carolina hurricanes versus the vegas golden knights and if you remember we had dr dubrow on here a couple months ago when he talked about the golden knights and i happened to go to a game that night so yeah they made it all the way to the stanley cup same season we're talking about them so if you think they're gonna win or you think the hurricanes are gonna win bet and remember use our code dope as usual on the bet back bonus up to 500 bucks also remember there's gonna be a ufc fight on the white house lawn coming up very soon if you want to bet on that bet with my bookie bet on anything anytime anywhere back to the episode what's the number what's the one thing that's happened to you that you're like no one will ever believe it i'm glad you're here i wish i had it on tape because bob saget would give me 10 bands if it was 1998 for america's funniest home videos like i remember one thing i did and went no one's i'm glad someone's here like like some movie shit has ever had you ever did anything as a kid you're like no one was gonna believe i just did that nobody nobody saw that shit has that ever happened there was a lot of shit like that like what though like some dumb ass shit when you when you said that the first thing that came to mind was when i got pulled over on my way to my first day at work one time the cop pulled me over he took my license he's looking at it he got a fucking call on his thing and he's like wait here took my license and left and i'm on my way to my first day on this new job that i'm working for this gangster ass dude that's a chop shop collections agency and i'm like uh a cop just took my license and like left me here but i can't leave because he got my license then like a half hour came by and bro came back gave my license what do you say sorry for the wait not even he just gave my shit let me go better than ticket that's what came to mind because i was like this is the goofiest shit that okay okay if i really thought about though there'd be a bunch of dumb ass shit there's a bunch of dumb shit like when i was a kid oh man just just things i'm like fuck dude i think i might be superhuman i think i'm just oh not like goofy and like no it can be goofy like one time me and my uncle carl's were chasing each other and this fool got me and my uncle carl's is four years younger than me so when you get me it's like i'm not gonna let you be the last one i gotta get the last no matter what it is like there's no way i'm gonna let your ass get me dude we used to play tag and i tagged him and i'd have to leave for the weekend back to home and i'd tag him and hop in the car lock the doors but sorry man see you next weekend and he would just be crying like fuck you dude what do you want me to do you're it as soon as we get part of you're it and i'd lower the window but anyway one time he got me and he got away and there's a there's a metal gate in between my grandma's garage and the front door and that bitch closes it's hard to open it's broken so it's like oh my god i'm gonna let your ass get me dude we used to play tag and i'd have to leave for the no fuck he got it and locked it on me and i looked at him through the gate like when you trap a raptor and you think hey i was looking at it and i went i mean the raptor noise i'm like i'm gonna get your ass and i ran around the garage and i just picked up a broom no reason so fuck it the broom with the plastic bristles yeah and i turned that bitch around i had it like this and i ran and i saw him and he went oh and he started running to my grandma's and i said fuck it and i threw the broom like spear and i looked at him like there's no fucking way if i can even touch him i'm gonna lose my fucking mind he's running up the three steps into my grandma's front door as he's running he slams the door but as he does it my broom goes in goes in between his running legs and it goes you know how they're like sticking the spokes yeah yeah it works on legs oh i got it and he went smacked his face door shut oh shit and i just started walking away like there's no fucking way that's like an apocalyptic yes that's exactly how i felt like did you see that oh yeah that's right there's no cell phones and i'm six no one saw no i must have been like eight because he's three and a half years younger than me there's no way i threw a two-year-old and he locked the door on me we had to been older um yeah shit like that fun shit oh man you know what i saw today this guy's like i don't think i'm leaving china he's like i just played a pickup game and there's a guy here that was there's a camera at the top and there's two cameras in the back of the things like stand this qr code i'll make you a highlight reel of your shots of the pickup game he just started he's like there's a highlight reel of everyone everyone has a highlight because i'm never leaving china this guy's doing it for free there's a guy sits there at the court just to make videos for people in china like that's what he's doing that's could you imagine having that for football i would give to have that for my childhood a highlight reel of a pickup game i don't have one video nothing it's all here's not a picture basically i have one good catch one time that i remember like i'm gonna go to the nfl guys i don't think you know what just happened i was walking around with that nba swag from seventh grade through sophomore year of college when i dropped out from about 11 to 21 just so far from it never had a chance not even fucking close hey you never know you could have been four string dude it's true stuff curry's not that athletic or tall it's pretty white actually he's very athletic not compared to like lebron he's just bigger you know i'm saying he's not more average human compared to most nba players yeah because he's like what six two yeah that's what i'm saying he's somebody i can look at and be like all right it's possible i guess i just gotta be the best shooter of all time 300 threes in your face all he does is yeah and gets every shot on you hey who cares as long as i could be the greatest shooter of all time maybe i have a chance yeah i don't know man it's like what was it little giants like i beat him once you just need one yeah if i can get one shot off on stuff great rap is actually a better path now like do you think about it the chance is actually making money through bad guys i don't know i don't know if i can get one shot off on stuff basketball would you imagine you got one path to make money and it's the nba and it's the most compared to rap got you one better even though i never made a dollar off rap there's 900 rappers all with lil you're not making a dog change your name okay what i'm saying is rap is dying music and streams are dying okay concerts are dying maybe not as good as a route as you're a superstar athlete but you're not going to the nfl you start your camp you start your program you get your warehouse you train these athletes that will make you the nba then you train them for free for a one percent of your first year this blah blah i'll train you for free i'll do all this stuff then you just made a million dollars and then you make another warehouse okay by the time you're 32 he's like i own five properties in long beach and i can still dunk right that's that sounds the route i would go train the guys that will make it for free because they can't afford it yet but when they will afford it you have a contract signed like you're gonna have to pay me for this time once you get your contract and if you don't you're gonna pay me this is like that's my pro bono i can tax right off train this kid for free for a year while i charge 15 others to build up your credentials and stuff not even that just to be like yo this guy trained here you with full sale how low are you to full so imagine the full cell got you into the full cell nba yeah like this the guy that got me here he did it for free while i was 17 years old he picked me up like you do that you get yourself a van you start getting taxed right off you get a coach you get another coach you get another fool and then at a point you're just like running athletes have you seen the mobile gym pull up yes i love it super sick love it are you kidding me very cool all that type of like i guess yeah you can get real creative with it i guess i was trying to write a bit out i was thinking could you imagine how much money eight dudes walking out of the bar go mobile strip club huh whoa right on the parking lot let's go we don't have to drive there's no cover fee i'm gonna spend every dollar you know they would yeah yeah in a semi park it oh wow in a semi stationary there's sections it might look bomb inside and then before you know it ready i'm at a strip club i'm drunk as i'm in vegas oh wait no i'm not oh that's right i'm in the back of a truck i forgot there's no difference you got a.c you got a little room separated some holes you're good holes and women he was talking about water hoses guys he respects women get you a nice piece of colada in that you're good to go a nice pina colada kick your shoes off jesus christ no i'm all all my luxury shit guys marty went to his homies his rich homies house and his rich homie had a personal chef there and assistants now marty can't not live that way no it's true i was bougie before that though because i went to maui i've been bougie since about a month i've been bougie for a month and eight days called cool 40 days man man they did 40 years in the desert i'm doing 40 years in luxury and don't get a twist of that you guys remember from last season of the podcast or whatever that for i think it was actually episode one maybe of last year or some shit for ran the red light t-ball in my truck that was definitely for that trip that was longer it was a lot no way however long it took that long but bro paid for maui so shout out to him and all my troubles and my my disc that came out of place shout out to my disc that came out of place for maui trip dude i need like 50 maui trips right now from from all the movie the movie company that my uncle owned or something because my shit's fucked we're getting better we're getting better i'm gonna take a damn can i get i don't even have the rig shout out to your family too your cousin adrian came through like a superhero we had a little situation and he came down and he went above and beyond yeah my whole family does moving my whole family everyone has a competing company against each other one did it like i'm gonna do it i'm gonna oh they're all different yeah i thought it was just one thing my dad has my uncle was my mother uncle has one my cousin has one remember my uncle i told you when i moved to portland and yeah the one of the biggest companies in america the oh yeah he got divorced company's gone she let it she it's a whole nother story it's crazy to lose like a mill because you're a weirdo anyway can't do it anyway lose a mill because you just made a bad boyfriend decision okay yeah so they all have competing companies dude all of them and then i won't get into it crazy but my uncle my cousin we're all the same age they have competing companies there's a camera footage from a business because my one of my uncles put up signs like hey come call me and there's a video of somebody slicing and cutting it down and he's like that's him talking about my cousin and i'm like that's my cousin my uncle's like that's my cousin that's him i know it is like dog i know him my whole life that's not even the shape of his head i can see that's not him he's like no it's him and they got into a big feud like where somebody went up and down and slashed every tire in their neighborhood why are you the neighbor's cars up that's crazy i don't know if it was him we're just assuming because it happened right after you know it can only be so like i wonder who it was somebody got a dead cow head thrown through their front window oh that's cool i've never considered doing that to a guy oh fuck man did the kid was a cow already dead dude no you got to do it fresh okay i mean my grandma has cows and kills them and sells the meat i wonder who did that because my uncle's like nah i didn't do that like fool you're wearing a leather jacket no i'm just kidding but where i was like who do you think did it like who do you think did it stupid grandma has cows who lives there they just killed a cow the other day like it's just it was so wild like how's heather fall off exactly no what he said i go what you go through a cow head through my front window like are you why don't you guys just fight definitely just just box what slap box slap league do a roast battle box dude if it's that serious fight each other if you're gonna have to take a decapitated animal and throw it through the window it's too much you gotta just fucking they just started talking again it's too passive-aggressive just started talking again it's too passive-aggressive it's too passive-aggressive it's too passive-aggressive it's too passive-aggressive it's too passive-aggressive it's been like seven years it's been like seven years it's been like seven years when you say through the windshield like when you say through the windshield like when you say through the windshield like it shattered it or through the house it shattered it or through the house it shattered it or through the house window the front window marty through the window the front window marty through the window the front window marty through the front window dude not through the car front window dude not through the car front window dude not through the car not okay i'll get that cleaned this is not okay i'll get that cleaned this is not okay i'll get that cleaned this is where i live where i live where i live now there's glass and blood my kids are now there's glass and blood my kids are now there's glass and blood my kids are here like what the here like what the here like what the you came home to it like that it's the you came home to it like that it's the you came home to it like that it's the middle of the night middle of the night middle of the night they woke up to a head like what was they woke up to a head like what was they woke up to a head like what was that ah that ah that ah a cow head like it's the fucking god the a cow head like it's the fucking god the a cow head like it's the fucking god the godfather godfather godfather wakes up with his horse's head next to wakes up with his horse's head next to wakes up with his horse's head next to him him him that's a mafia show and we still don't know to this day who and we still don't know to this day who did it but i'll say maybe the guy that did it but i'll say maybe the guy that did it but i'll say maybe the guy that has dead cows at his house has dead cows at his house has dead cows at his house and lives a mile away i'm no fbi i'm no fbi i'm no fbi i'm no detective i'm no detective i'm no detective no no when that should happen i'm like no no when that should happen i'm like no no when that should happen i'm like no it didn't no it didn't no it didn't thomas there's a fucking dead cow head in thomas there's a fucking dead cow head in thomas there's a fucking dead cow head in my trash but no there's not my trash but no there's not my trash but no there's not he goes i had to clean up okay i believe he goes i had to clean up okay i believe he goes i had to clean up okay i believe you all the neighbors tires you all the neighbors tires you all the neighbors tires come on man come on man come on man you know what that means it was late you know what that means it was late you know what that means it was late they were faded and they couldn't they were faded and they couldn't they were faded and they couldn't remember which cars was whose so they remember which cars was whose so they remember which cars was whose so they said slash them all said slash them all said slash them all that's exactly what happened that's exactly what happened that's exactly what happened just box each other you guys are family just box each other you guys are family just box each other you guys are family i'm not gonna do that to somebody i was i'm not gonna do that to somebody i was i'm not gonna do that to somebody i was dabbing here already oh i fell asleep dabbing here already oh i fell asleep dabbing here already oh i fell asleep last night last night last night oh you got it oh you got it oh you got it is there anything better is there anything better is there anything better yeah i've had a hell of money in there yeah i've had a hell of money in there yeah i've had a hell of money in there oh my god a mill oh my god a mill oh my god a mill tax it says tax free on it wow tax it says tax free on it wow tax it says tax free on it wow let me fill this up let me fill this up let me fill this up uncle phil let me uncle phil this up let's uncle phil let me uncle phil this up let's uncle phil let me uncle phil this up let's spend the hottest hash in the streets spend the hottest hash in the streets spend the hottest hash in the streets the hottest hash in the streets i like the hottest hash in the streets i like the hottest hash in the streets i like that um i don't know that um i don't know that um i don't know i have no idea i have no idea i have no idea in your world in your world in your world i get the same hash with the same guys i get the same hash with the same guys i get the same hash with the same guys all the time oh i stopped being heady all the time oh i stopped being heady all the time oh i stopped being heady remember i told you guys remember i told you guys i'm gonna be transparent right now i'm gonna be transparent right now i'm gonna be transparent right now the only thing so don't be like that the only thing so don't be like that the only thing so don't be like that guy's gross spending that much money i guy's gross spending that much money i guy's gross spending that much money i don't have kids don't have kids don't have kids i don't have any vices other than this i don't have any vices other than this i don't have any vices other than this really don't do anything really don't do anything really don't do anything by wearing shorts someone gave me a by wearing shorts someone gave me a by wearing shorts someone gave me a shirt i made shirt i made shirt i made it's true like i don't really buy it's true like i don't really buy it's true like i don't really buy stuff like you have crazy cars hey stuff like you have crazy cars hey stuff like you have crazy cars hey i had a car before all i did was i had a car before all i did was i had a car before all i did was upgrade that yeah it's a cool car upgrade that yeah it's a cool car upgrade that yeah it's a cool car but if you think about it but if you think about it but if you think about it it's a couple racks a month you pay for it's a couple racks a month you pay for it's a couple racks a month you pay for a car a crazy car a car a crazy car a car a crazy car if you can you know it's not like you if you can you know it's not like you if you can you know it's not like you buy all at once make a big play for a a down payment yeah go get the fucking car if you want if you want if you don't want don't do it what i'm saying is the only thing i'm spending my money on is weed and people really don't like you get free weed it's different for you like motherfucker i give it all away 99.9 of the weed i get i'm like no give it to somebody i already have the weed i want to smoke that's gonna go bad by the time i even get to it's gonna get dry i might as well give it to somebody now they don't gotta buy weed i give people weed so they don't have to buy weed i hope it saves you god bless like i hope it saves you some money it does it does let's go fuck yeah i already did the promo for the people so they get what they needed i did it for free so they i'll give you the weed i'll post it for you that's cool i'll just help you out i only do that for nice people i'll do that for fucking dickheads um like tough tethers i support these fools forever organic sport they're awesome cool wife and husband couple they're awesome people i met him once anyway um every time i was going to this black market spot i was spending at least three bands god damn every single time on weed and hash i was going twice three times a month that's a lot no that's too much bro so much not every time i was spending that much i'll take it back not every time when i was getting like let me get this three man i did that once a month the other times i go there and probably spend a rack at least because the hash is 200 bucks a gram 150 but it was all that crazy shit i was getting i'm just thinking that's like your your personal assistant right there you know what i'm saying after i was like wait when did i come here last i checked the text wait that was a week ago i smoked all the hash what am i fucking doing dude we gotta remember like two three k you're like that's insane what are you doing it's so expensive it's stupid but think about it a gram i'm getting two gram jars or they're a hundred dollar grams two hundred dollars a jar i get five jars a thousand dollars i will smoke two jars in a day whoa whoa whoa whoa five jars for a thousand dollars yeah each jar is two grams a hundred dollars a gram each jar is 200 bucks five jars is a thousand but think about it i get a stack of these this flavor get a stack of this flavor i'm like i'm 2k in yeah no on just a couple jars so it's not like i'm like damn we smoked three bands worth of shit like no i'm buying the most expensive shit you could possibly touch because i want to experience it i've never tried it i want to try it and then i got hooked on the ice hatch that's just 100 gram like oh no that she got me narcotically high so i was like i don't care i'll buy it i don't buy nothing else i don't spend nothing else this is my job that's what i do i need to experience these things it this is professionalism actually yeah i was like no dude i have a fridge full of weed i don't want to give it to somebody i'm going to spend this much money in this hatch this is stupid this is dumb dumb situation what am i doing what i do work with the companies i like and just be like don't pay me give me hash Yes, I'll take that shit and it's cheaper for you because you've made it at cost instead of paying me now you're getting the cash at cost they would love nothing more than to give me shit at cost like yeah 60 bucks for cost or i can give it to you as payment and it's a hundred yeah i just made 40 off of a promo and you're smoking my shit and i made 40 bucks the company wins yeah you win give me the fucking hash dude that's all i care about just give me the hash thanks period that's it i feel you look also the eights i was getting the eights were 150 remember that that crazy i was trying i was doing video hold on i was doing videos on stuff remember that i'm not buying that expensive shit to go oh god i was doing videos on it too like it was making content it was fun but it's unobtainable shit if i made a billion dollars is the only way i can do that it's not sustainable you know how much money that is that's more than all my fucking bills i double my bills for how No Stupid Anyway, I got a zip and as it was 800 and I'm like, let me get a one and a half I'll save half and then it had so much other shit. It kind of got dry on me What am I doing here, man? It's always a gamble. Is this week worth it? Is this was are this lemons 128? Let me try one eighth, but I'm like dude, I did four of those four different companies. I just spent nine hundred eight hundred eighty dollars We're far no way. Am I saying eight hundred a hundred four hundred eighty dollars on half By nine hundred sixty dollars Fuck are you? Bill Gates don't do that shit Cuz he doesn't got the money Dude I can't I can't do that and you gotta remember it's like yeah, I Can't write this off my lawyers and my account is still trying but It's almost like I can it's an expense I don't care about the tax thing if I can write off I can't don't care what I'm saying in the end is like if I spend that much money if I'm spending at least five to Seven thousand dollars on weed a month The fuck are you doing if it's not right? That's not even if it's not Stop, that's fucking dumb, dude. You have to be a lock-in with like a grower or something that you like Because I can't remember I used to buy a pound every month and I'd smoke that pound for about three weeks Get down to the bottom buy another pound That was costing me like fifteen hundred dollars eighteen hundred bucks Perfect. Thanks a little $300 $500 a week habit And I can roll huge joints to give people weed all the time and it's about like perfect sick But those pounds are like seven to ten K the ones I was getting down what the fuck is this stupid What I'm saying is I went through my phase for about eight months straight where I spent that much money every month and when I Realized when I looked through my text the last time when that was a week ago I'm not Going here anymore. I can't I can't afford that shit. That's I Can't afford that shit if I don't smoke like I smoke one jar should last me two to three days of a two grams I smoke it in a day and then I work on the next one in the same day and probably go to the next Sucks The little grams the grams go instantly the two grams. Everything should be too much. I feel like that's the denomination To start with yeah I want to bring a five gram or into the equation chase you get mad when John wouldn't give me a one grammar Mike I only want one gram of this goes does it so much better and I might do not give me a fucking one-gram chart What are you doing? It's like gone two servings I Can't do that That's what it is though. I just had a little dollar gram shit and I cut a piece of it. This is a $40 to help Fuck and the thing is I never asked for a discount ever and Those fools see my car and go I am going to charge this motherfucker full price and I can't say no I'm not gonna ask for a discount pulling up in a dickhead car. And also I don't want to ask for a discount This fool needs to make money But they see me coming. I Look like the teachers to me when I was selling we like this was got a government job at three 320 ounce Okay, cool. But I mean the first time sorry that the first time I ever taxed this guy Nathan I went Bless your fucking soul, dude. Did you just say yes to 380? I'm selling these for $200 You just paid the half of my rent one ounce he bought an ounce a week I got paid my rent Shout to Nathan and the Merced school system Wait, he didn't work for the schools. What the fuck am I saying? The TV Yeah, I'm not crazy broadcasting Anyway, um, his name is not really Nathan either so it's fine It's Nathan He had a house he owned I would pull up in his garage It would open and he would close it halfway down like my daughter's inside Man this guy wears a suit to work. He's like six foot ten Not for real, but he's tall as shit I mean, I mean Ed's outfit like yeah, man. Here you go, man It's 360 this time One ten like I feel too bad man, I can't keep doing this too, but I'll do it too If you're not gonna ask me for some weed fuck Yeah, I got to that point I'm done. I will not be I can't do that anymore. I'm not gonna do that anymore. It's ridiculous So what's the alternative alternative is I started getting weed from Kaja Verde And big brain shut out both of them Shut out there it is. Their weed is so fucking good. It's so damn clean and it is not an Arm and a leg literal arm and a leg like I could buy a prosthetic arm and a leg for how much I'm spending a fucking We like this is the only time in earth. I could yeah Bionic a bionic arm and a leg fuck dude spending a Honda used Honda every month. What a dumb dumb dumb decision I was doing that every fucking money I mean, at least you're authentic to the show What a five months in a straight at least no, maybe more Is there a lot of people living like that or not so much you think I'm on the lower end of spending bougie shit I know people are spending five hundred bands a week a month weed yeah horrible they might move some of it, but They're if they buy ten pounds and they're 9k each just 90k Come on, what? Some of these pounds are 10 to 12 K some of the bougie pounds are 10 to 12 bands right like that elephant shit was 10 to 11 K 10 K for the ogs 11 for the gelato z' back when it was really at the peak So my homies buying three at a time smoke on and one of his homie would split once he buy two and a half pounds He's been 25 bands a month to smoke weed Sorry What I can't even fathom that's insane But some people smoke like that, man Like if I was buying what I if I wanted to smoke and I was smoking off that that expensive weed I'd be spending a hundred came up Yeah, you got that give it to me. I'm not doing that fuck what you kidding me. I live outside. I Will live outside and walk everywhere with a hella weed because I don't be able to afford anything. I'll be in debt. I think what? So think about it like I was like, oh I want a pound of that, but that's fucking 12k You're gonna fly through that shit in a week and a half or two weeks Like I'll make hash holes like yeah, that's a $700 household. You just roll dickhead. You just put three grams in there And two eighths at 150 each all of that. I can't enjoy that not fun Not fun to me because as I'm smoking I'm going I Could have bought like three people weed Instead of I could have fucking just spread the wealth instead of fucking smoke this douche bag joint. Hmm Once in a while, like this is a $300 joint. Whoa, you want to go? That's like a night out when you guys go to the club and people go to nightclub I spent 300 bucks. Why can't I spend a hundred bucks on some fucking heady? Yeah, we think of that sick one We got for the yes, exactly. That was like a thousand dollar blood. We got more. I think was a little more custom custom thousand Shit dude might have been more I think yeah, I should smoked bomb - we smoked it right here It was like checkerboard and had the logo on it We smoked it right at this table or that maybe the last no, I think really unrestricted episode. Yeah So yeah guys when it comes to the weed shit, like I'm very serious about like I want to smoke what I want to smoke I can smoke for free. I have a fridge full of weed and a weed company I just don't want to take all of our top shelf. I'm not smoking the smalls. I'm not smoking the minis I'm not budget smoking. I'm not fucking just hear me what I just said and people you don't smoke your own shit I smoke our top shelf dickhead It's so fuck that you gave me earlier was shocking. That's the way that's that's the dope is shocking. That was the dopest. Yeah, I was shocked shocked Do you want to try this? Candy fumes nice. Thank you. Oh, yeah. He had the Casino theme at the show real quick John me and John started squishing the hash the same day I Got a machine. I'm sure using my machine. We started squishing together. He told me about rosin. Oh He's like I ruined John already. I moved it. I moved LA it's before hash house was hash house i met john twice before this i met him at a canvas cup john's the first person to ever recognize me ever anywhere isn't that crazy i was walking my first event ever walking across the street i started my i pressed record some guys like hey and i went what do you want motherfucker like someone says hey to you in public and they walk right up to you like are we fighting i never met a fan before yeah it just started i was like what's up that's why i turned the phone off yeah oh don't you only go yeah it's me so he goes i just want to give you the shirt like what all right give me a shirt i'm like what the fuck are you doing okay he told me his name i was like all right cool man you i pressed play and that's my first video on youtube my first vlog i ever did started with my feet walking into the canvas cup oh shit so i met him like i ran into him again like a year later i did like a little smoke out after a cup and he showed up he brought hell of fire as weed and then uh that was it i hadn't seen him again for like three more years and i moved to la and i got a dm from john i was like oh is that fool he's cool and i hit him up he's like dude i just moved to l.a i go i just moved to l.a because i saw that where you live and i told him like in this area i didn't know that full amount of telling you where i live i was like and he goes shut the fuck up i just moved right here i go no and he sent me a picture of where he's at go that's across the street is he trying to smoke yeah that's fun fuck it so i went to their apartment which happened to be just from texas apartment years later apartment and we're smoking and i wouldn't go by the edge of the window because i'm afraid of heights that's the first time i ever been like a skyscraper with all windows so i was like nah i'll just sit back here fuck that and then he said you know anybody with rosin i'm like boozy mother fuck you want me to get rosin smoke some fucking wax who cares that's what i thought i was like yeah he's like here's 400 bucks if you can get rosemary frango four hundred dollars on rosin what the fuck i guess i went it was 50 a gram ago you're spending 50 a fucking gram you might be dumb i was like that's the dumbest i've ever heard in my life 50 i'll get it for you i went got him rosin a place called cali sift came back and we started hanging out from there but i remember when he went yeah how many grams i'm like you're gonna smoke that expensive ass ashen out because to me i'm like spending fucking 50 bucks on like three grand what the fuck are you smoking that's crazy i don't smoke with trash at the time the prices were the prices so it wasn't trash trash but it wasn't great and then like a couple weeks a month later dabberbox hit me up they gave me a press like holy shit they gave me a rosin press john was talking about doing rosin we started pushing squishing rosin and the little bastard took all my bags used all my fucking hatch bags and then i already packaged it i packaged mine i've never i don't think i've ever talked about this i had a little hash company for a while i never let anybody know who owned it holy shit i forgot about that what the fuck was the name it's i made i had labels i had card like the cars when hash came in packages a parchment damn i forgot about that i was packaging hash and selling that shit when i first moved to la i forgot holy shit yeah and then i was like this sucks why this is boring the grams are like wet it's hot i didn't realize oh you should be making cold or maybe you should like get uh parchment to do that i had no text i had no text and john just kept squishing that's it that's all i have you just kept squishing shit and yeah anyway john had a huge booth that's what we got here we had a huge ass booth at zylympics um i had og's son's baby shower so i had to do that and then from there went straight to zylympics because i had a show in hollywood that's night and it started at eight nine and again pushing 9 30 so i didn't have to rush too much anyway go to zylympics john had a 6 000 square foot booth it's bigger than this warehouse this warehouse is three yeah double the size of this room it didn't feel like it though oh six thousand square feet anyway john turned a room a building for his hash house booth into a casino so they had dealers and tables and card games and jason's behind the bars like like the casino cage that's where you buy stuff hash everything whatever but you're playing for chips there's real people there you're not putting any money whoever has the most chips wins five bands and then wins three bands and then wins 15. first second and third they had cash boxes like the casino with money in it sick sick anyway that's the biggest booth i've ever seen and it was john's booth how awesome super sick hash house booth is what i'm talking about guys um sick dude oh anyway i went to the olympics it's the only time i've ever done this guys and i realized like oh i gotta start thinking differently because i realize or i'm growing i'm maturing more i'm like if i do this i'm gonna be tired i'll be worn out if i get worn out what if i do this like what i do that i'm trying to think because i've been trying to sleep i've been going to sleep on time and shit so i've been trying and uh tracking it and wearing a watch all that shit how did i sleep a lot i woke up with how much this how much that how much this and uh we did john's movie about an hour and 20 minutes and i know i had about 50 minutes until i had to walk back to my car and go to the show right because i go to the warehouse and grab something and then go to the show so i'm like yo rosie let's take one lap and i know you know it gets crowded at these events like there's hella fans everywhere man yeah it's sick i got out of john's booth i got about eight feet and never left never left dude which is sick because i met hella fans i only did it for about 15 minutes marnie and i just said i'm leaving because i couldn't walk i'm like if i walk that way and it takes me 20 minutes to get back i'm gonna be late for this show and i thought if i get worn out and i get all this and i get all that and i get all spacey and i'm taking dads i'm doing this like what if i up my set tonight that's the first time i ever went i'm not gonna get high as i got to do tonight you made a business decision like yeah i've never done that i walked straight out when i got the car didn't even walk through the event and the event i wanted to see decibel gardens i could see right there i just couldn't get to it man in a good way like there's so many fans out there i can't walk at events it's incredible how badass i can walk but as at a turtle's base there's a thou oh man it's it's awesome actually it's just if i i can't if i have to go do something like a puff call we had to move into this yeah no dude i can't it won't it's almost like rude for you to ask me to hurry up like we only tell people no out of here i'm gonna stop every time we gotta get you one of those like glasses with the mustaches type shot no lie i was thinking about getting like a real good makeup artist and making me like an 80 year old man it was me walking around doing to cannabis cups i thought about this in like 2018. there we did it it's like that mask where you're on unrestricted the dude on tv on fox with his throat showing you're one of those me walking like steve smith when he uh uh is pretending to be the old lady in america dad because his dad uh uh was it uh stelio contos episode record yeah rand i have adhd it's okay it's super cool what the we talk oh yeah man i'm not spending money like that on weed no more i buy them i buy my weed i talked about it on my pot on my channel but i went to big brain facility before my sacramento show checking out a bunch of weed here about a half pound got to the next morning had it all bagged in perfect bags perfect zips with labels they presented it so perfect in a box i'm like oh my god this is incredible and i was filming a video so my girl would film and close it up at the hotel with this weed so i'm filming this weed in my hotel you might have saw the weed it's called city of trees i think on insta on youtube go watch the video i was exporting stuff so i had my laptop open and i don't like rosie carrying so i carried all the bags and my rosie just get my laptop it's all i need and then i got to merced got a burrito i'm like yeah it's my favorite burrito spot mercedes let's go about the roll of joy i was i wasn't taking dabs the whole trip i was completely sober i'm like yo let me stop and smoke a joint not drive smoke it here and then i'll drive and uh i went to the trunk and i opened the trunk and i went where the is that box my be in the back seat and my memory's going dog you would know if it's in the back seat you remember everything i hate that little voice that's like you know that chimes in you know it's just lost i would never leave weed i didn't want to put the weed in my backpack because i didn't want to get the weed stuck to the bag it was so sticky like i wanted to be perfect let me just leave it in the box i left the half p in the hotel and didn't notice for two hours that's just been gone it's either thrown away because it has the empty box there's only a half pound in it feels like nothing or the maid already got rid of it she's not gonna tell the front hey i found all this i could sell no she's just gonna put in her car it's gone dude i didn't lose my mind i slammed the door and then i stopped like happy gilmore remember he's about to throw it wait wait it looks like happy he's restraining himself that's that's me and i got the car to squeeze them they're squeezing with it's okay and i drove to l.a weedless i picked out one of them they had no more of it was the last of the crops it's actually perfect right now it's been sitting here for a minute and i think i dialed it in just right it's the last of it oh my god can i get some of that he goes yeah i got you i'm the day before i was talking about i'll never forget i've never forgot weed i do not forget we i think i'm gonna forget my weed i'm always it's like my wallet yeah i check never forgot i double checked my weed i forgot a 10 pack once at my homie germs and he had a house party i forgot it in a duffel bag in his in a room i noticed eight minutes later i've never drove so fast drove right back boom got it checked every perfect put in my truck i was like yeah that's the only time i ever got some weed until this sacramento you know the only thing that made it better is that i had a great set i was like you know what i did good last night it's a good trade-off and i drove all the way home and i hit him up and i had to let him know what happened and i just bought another half piece oh did it even occur to you to call the hotel no hey i left a half p that you know is not there anymore can you lie your way around this for a minute keep me on hold i would i would no no no yeah it's here it's here i would have drove back for sure two hours back yeah i've been pissed the whole time but i would have drove back i might leave no no man left behind like in the war i'm not leaving my bag of weed there if there's a zip i'm like yo you can keep it not driving back for a house no i can smoke an ounce by the time i get there and back happy of cherry picked weed i would have said i would have said i don't know what i would have said i'd have been blowing them up though if i would remember if i didn't notice right when i left and we would turn back call my homie to go that lives there go get it and i checked out two hours early i was like ah they can keep this room i'm checking out early i'm not i always wait till they're like are you checking out like yep i'm actually out the door and i open the door i was just packing i'll wait to the last two seconds to get out of a hotel the last time i remember i was in denver and i was sleeping and i'm like check out 11 it's 10 59 or 10 58. i need to get up and get my room together i was like i'm gonna call and extend it they're like you can extend it for three hours only to go oh yeah okay i'll just do three hours but i thought you're gonna say 20 minutes everyone's like it's a hundred dollars an hour they always tax me and then it's 20 every hour after i went yeah can you give me until three o'clock and i just slept until three o'clock for 20 bucks yeah it's like a 1990s price remember crossing on the freeway as a kid i don't know what you did as a kid i that's how i learned to read street signs and all that stuff my dad would make me it's the only thing he ever taught me and read everything on the road and that's how i learned what's xing what the is that like it's crossing go where's the sea this is not china there's no x's what are you doing in here i was like four i remember being a a slightly bigoted little boy like i am now like there's no x's there's no chinese what are we doing just but to make myself laugh like i just did now what's xing me i remember as my dad he goes it's crossing where the fuck is xing is the c in my head i'm like why would they just spell crossing zing i'm trying to get all slick about seeing yeah what are you doing to me and i remember like that's not china is that chinese because i had there's a lot of zhangs where i'm from like everyone's last name is x i o n g zhang that's how you spell it and then i remember like it's chinese it's america i wasn't like girl but i was like we don't do chinese stuff in america what the fuck i remember all i'm reading like i've never seen a chinese word i don't know why i thought that was a chinese word because all the kids last names were that's like it has to be these fucking kids were lao shen and mong they were ma that's not even a chinese last name i don't even know zhang is fucking is is is uh uh what the fuck did you say is mong or can be all the kids i knew were mom cambodian or lao shen so had a bunch of khan jr the neighbor from uh king of the hill the dickhead asian guy that's a that's a music i mean i know it i've never like sat there oh shit okay the dark guy next to it looks asian his neighbor that's a dick that's a lao shen i'm pretty sure didn't he say lao shen maybe he's cambodian either one it's all the same to me it's all the exact same thing don't argue with me all right now i need in the same we're talking all these oceanic places i'm gonna take you back to hawaii oceanic i got april high as fuck off the puffco in hawaii okay and we had the pina coladas going okay the cleaner lady comes through because my kids are like holding this against me and they've been like teasing me acting like i was retarded in this moment but it was a real thing even emmy yes with the youngest in the house because you're retarded maybe you did something retarded yeah i don't know what april did was retarded in what i did okay here we go here we go i was like i asked this girl and i was being serious like i'm the cleaner hey what's up guys do you guys want your stuff cleaned this is the accent i have she's of course the actual hawaiian you know what i mean all the whole hey brother hey brother do you want me to clean this lilo and stitch stuff lilo and stitch lilo and stitch do you want me to clean your house that's all i know about hawaii elvis is riding on sharks first of all else they're amazing this service made me be like every company on earth needs to take a class from four seasons maui because i've never experienced service before it was it was just different it was amazing but anyway i asked sorry when did you creep back so far sorry sorry i was just so like did i see you move my bad it threw me out when i looked at you like are you getting farther my bad lady comes in boom lady knock knock knock hi clean lady i'm here you go to hawaii the whole time you're there with the aloha aloha mahalo aloha i like it what they're saying is like peace be nice the whole culture is based on being nice that's what aloha means you be cool i'm cool we're all cool respect this place my name's kunu it's all that shit sorry sir marshall anyway i'm like i i said something to the effect of like to you guys who actually live here is it cringe for me as a white guy to come through here and hit you back with a m with a aloha and steal your land is that weird is that weird while i'm here take all your land and everything you got and then hire you back on this facility anyway and i'm like that was a serious question i'm like are you guys rolling your eyes at me i'm trying to i'm trying to tap into the culture and respect you guys here hitting you with the aloha back but it's kind of like me saying burrito like i'm trying to you know what i'm saying i'm trying to finesse this shit out of your at the wrong part of that you had a decent that's what i'm saying throw some authentic english on that that was great so if i hit you back with the aloha are you a rolling your eyes going this guy or b being like cool i'm glad that you respect where you're at let me know or c are you trying to that's basically what that means when a white when i do says it's like oh my god let me trap this one that's that's everyone yeah i didn't think about that so anyway we're in hawaii we're in america are we talking about mexico no it ain't america it's up that it is america it shouldn't be no no should let it be its own this is america dude yeah we own that well i'm just kidding that's the avatar that's what the avatar is about exactly it was just hawaii avatar is hawaii yeah stole from all the little brown people these turned them blue so they wouldn't be like are these little brown people that live in trees that you're stealing from fuck is that elvis for real sorry but plot of avatar is the history of america and hawaii but the plot of avatar is also a straight stolen stolen plot from fern gully watch it his avatar gets into the avatar world all he did was get shrank and now chills with baddie which is played by robin fucking williams and that's a forgotten ass movie sorry i have i have attention deficit sorry i just went and washed so anyway this bitch gave me a blank stare and she's like i don't fucking know basically you asked her yeah you didn't tell me you asked the cleaning lady marty i didn't realize you told me this that you actually i thought you were asking me no i asked the cleaning lady you didn't tell me what she said well she didn't really fucking say anything she's basically like uh i don't fucking i was drunk all right but it was a real question it did not come out like this it was a real question that i met like because i i'm like uh in my own mind they everybody everybody everywhere aloha aloha aloha and i'm hitting them with the what's up yeah have a good day hey real quick is it cringe if i like say aloha back to you what like if i just say it back to you what if i just say it back to you what if i just say it back to you i'm gonna jump through this table you just let me know what the fuck's going on okay that's basically exactly what happened that's verbatim exactly what happened i know and we were drunk kind of like that hey marty's like marty when marty's drunk it looks like right when there's about to be a free throw and everybody's oh i'm getting ready to box out hey what's up he's like that like he's about to jump up and get the ball every i might be marty's in full force marty's like the way sauce waka is the rapper i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know that's how marty's when he's drunk but just with his body hey what's up yeah that's how i always am you do what chuck does shadow boxing no t's dad with the basketball there'll be no ball and this will cross his people you'll get dunked all the time i'm going off the back where the whole shit fun you gotta play nba street yeah nba street's the one of the best games of all time so is nfl street have you ever played nba street shit's on 2k come see me on that dreamcast too by the way i'll play you at rucker park two on two i'm gonna fuck around see me that dream i was listening to the fucking 50 cents debut album right now and i was like damn this is this that party hooked no i thought about it and it ended many men but he ain't welcome breathing i went man if i was in buffalo right now it's cold i'll be walking with my hoodie on yeah same shit he had him on he had his poor we had the junior poster on the wall in the fucking trap house and shit for sure for sure we gotta remember it's like in your state it's the same guy he's in the lane that you're in yeah yeah yeah this shit's fucking hard it's like uh what's the comparable like a lebron that's it like no no what's the comparable like damn this motherfucker's a real fool he made it not a rapper i'm trying to think of the comparison like i don't think there is a comparison i don't know it was it was too dramatic he had gotten shot all this shit dr jerry eminem there was so much vengeance and drama he didn't give a fuck that's what i loved about it so much was that whole energy i had been a 50 cent fan way before he blew up though that was the thing we had been on all those mixtapes far before that we already knew i forget it's in new york buffalo's in new york because it always feels like a different state yeah it might as well be for damn sure it's daniel might as well be canada damn yeah we're more ohio than manhattan you meme pages chill the fuck out they're memeing benny the butcher right now you guys better chill the fuck out for what because he got his hair braided and his hairline starts back farther and like this motherfucker he's gonna let it go like fool he has a head of hair i guess he has enough to braid afro he has enough to braid and you're saying let it go motherfucker just because you're 19 and you haven't proceeded your hairline yet sometimes it happens early so don't be a dick you don't want to be the 21 year old going oh my god i should have made all those memes about this exact thing with this karma coming yeah chill the fuck out man they're making fun i've seen him like eight times on twitter pop up that's freddie gibbs freddie freddie gibbs was horrible how do you look at benny the butcher and go i'm gonna make fun of this guy even though he's one of the hardest rappers of all time and he's just the man and he's the shit let me make fun of him because his hair like what i saw the thing that people don't dance because people get recorded and everybody gets made fun of like that's exactly what it is that's exactly what it is because people will make fun of you look at this motherfucker he's trying look at oh he pulled that bitch oh shit works that works like yeah man you just gotta dm a bitch you can actually talk sorry you don't have to dm a woman sorry for the one girl watching right now sorry alley 559 that's always in the chat that's the only girl in the chat ever dude speaking of girls let's not forget about april so april so same same cleaner i'm so sorry we're walking to get to our room where you want to walk down this long ass hallway and then it comes to like a part where now you're outside but it's just a wreck it's a literal rectangle like this room damn near two of these rooms size wise now you're walking along you could either go straight and then make a left to get to the room our room is on like the far corner of the rectangle okay like the direct far corner i could go left and then right or i could go straight and then left i like the direction you're giving me either way it's a fucking rectangle okay i like the way like in the circle you would just end up back where we were i know shapes marty i'm just trying to set this in here april is somehow confused about this oh that's right april has a suspicion april she took a big old puff off the puff go she was delirious she asked this do you think it'd be faster to get to the hotel if we go this way or this way pointing down either side of the rectangle that we're in yeah and the just glitched and spontaneously busted and died she kept pushing she dematerialized right into the paperized yeah but that was like some true drunk where now the kids were on us both oh they were with you guys yeah yeah no the kids would not let this go wait she said it why is she on you why are the kids on you is it cringe as a white man oh man you said white man yeah oh man saying white man you should say white dude something like that i'm a white guy or white dude man yeah i don't know why it feels like yeah no you're right like pocahontas or something like john smith yeah i'm trying white man i was trying to say is a goofy white coming to your place is which is disrespectful me not saying it or saying it let me try to be real with you you're right you should just stone cold stunner everyone instead of saying anything with the aloha kick to the stomach but that way you're not rude like i don't want to mispronounce they know how to wrestle and right rock i doubt it the rock is not samoa not hawaiian oh you know what i'm saying but yeah shout out to that lady i chased her down and gave her temporary because she's down a poster the next day yeah i tell you that trip i tipped her but then i tripped her pushed her took the tip back robbed her and went back to my room sick that's that buffalo yeah i had i brought the screw i threw it right to your table here okay i don't remember what we were talking about and then marty goes let me back to april and then i went oh my god that was it some girl because i said you know that was 20 minutes ago no i'm saying the fact that i oh yeah through the conversation over there for 20 minutes is horrible that's all that's it that's what we're here for folks yeah that's true how long we've been here 1 30. whoo right on the dot it's probably is it it's 1 30. come on 30 in the morning marty doesn't stay awake all right what are the odds sleep guys that was some synchronicity we should have run at 1203 i remember yeah so 130 is 130. god damn guys damn now why don't i even ask i just did the math it's 1 30. it's 1203 we started um it's the latest episode we've ever done that wasn't with a guest marty's daughter daughter and son are graduating tomorrow so he has to be busy i'm leaving on friday to go to seattle because we had two shows friday night two shows saturday that's got rescheduled with david lucas so friday we're just chilling i guess we're going to a gay pride parade with shireen my sister in seattle or a pride thing and then saturday i'm going to mothership meltdown let's go the best hash competition on earth i am so excited shout out to mothership i'm a judge and you know what i always try to get the boxes you know weeks before and i always lag and i have to do the competition the day before right yeah this last one wasn't my fault i it says on the paper 25th they don't know it's the 20th they go ah it's the 20th now they go yeah we need about 12. fuck mothership meltdown i was getting one week before they said we're not gonna be able to get it to you in time i'm coming friday the competition saturday once again i'm doing a whole fucking judging in a night again damn i have like 40 inches i think i'm gonna have to 40 globs 40 dabs back to back to back to back to back how can you be expected to i'll do it really know what's going on at the back end of the smell look done oh okay effect is not in my judgment i'm not gonna get that high off a dad anyway you need to really sit on like a jar a couple grams of it to really understand what it's about yeah no no to get me high i need to smoke like them the whole damn half of the jar but how am i gonna smoke half the jar that's 24 grams i'm smoking in a night i'm not gonna be able to do it i know i won't be able to my lungs will hurt because if i catch one harsh one i'm done oh my throat will be scrapped you guys know what it's like to be like oh god burn my throat so once again i'm doing it again i've been going on the blue it's a low time i've been going on red because i'm from merced you know i'm kidding dude by the way guys i'm fucking joking no though somebody clips this shit the mayor is like see i knew it yep that's why we didn't want you in the schools kids do you want to donate to our school right after fuck you guys i would i promise you i'll do whatever i can i'll sell a watch i'll do whatever i need to i would donate that money right to the merced how you put the thomas arajo break room because i don't want any work being done in the room with my name i want it to be the children detention room i used to cocaine that's a cool idea dude that's a cool idea i see fucking rails with if you've seen my stand-up show sydney from the ecstasy story i should do rails with that full in detention he wasn't just my coke dealer he was my coke provider you know you see those things it's not a crack house it's a crack home like that's my coke provider not my dealer he's a caretaker dude he knows just he knows just enough what to give me for free and then go hey i know you're on one school's over you want to buy a sack like i need to i'm actually hooked on it now today you got me hooked for free off eight lines now like i don't want it to stop school's over we should have fun but yeah but like you'll buy a sack like yeah you did give me a lot of free cocaine today i'll buy a sack it was always just coke sacks are so disappointing when you're when you're poor it's like it's like a thimble it's like the smallest you know thimble is you know from peter pan yes i was like the things from peter pan let's go marty i was just gonna say that from hook that's exactly the reference i was gonna use let's go man the very first time this time has ever come up in life only thimble except for my crazy ass stepdad one time i walked in oh my god are you ready one time i walked into my stepdad's garage where we lived and he had all the soldering things he could make anything he's an engineer is that true i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know he could do anything he would solder stuff make stuff make tattoo guns so his tattoo gun would be faster if it'd be wider he would make it he's a tattoo artist he's incredible one time i walked in and i looked on his desk and i went oh that sucks and it had finger condoms you ever seen finger condoms you've seen finger condoms for electrical engineers they're little pieces of rubber that look like rolled up condoms and they're this fucking big because they're supposed to roll over your fingers to not get zapped or whatever it is i never i don't know but i walked and went oh my god my stepdad has a tiny dick that sucks dude oh my god that's the first thing i thought it for days for days i went oh no and it says either baby or finger condoms i can't remember what it says google it finger condoms not baby condoms i almost want to say it said that i can't remember because i remember thinking baby dick that's weird what are they called maybe i thought it looked like a condom yeah they're like skin colored right yeah they were skin colored that's that's so weird condoms i've seen condoms from like from school and shit but they're bigger that's not what i thought it was i saw no no no they were just for the tips of the fingers they were even no those are it those are right there in the back that's what i saw that's what they do so you don't zap yourself while you're soldering i think but i just remember thinking oh my god this footwear is oh my god no he has a medically tiny yeah that's what i thought he keeps a whole bag of these oh my gosh holy shit married to my mom that's all i thought that's oh god i didn't even think about it was like that sucks for you i'm burnt it's almost two i in my head just did this i saw the i saw the lighter whip that's a first you smoked the mic a million i've smoked the mic so many times dude um yeah i don't know why i brought that up but that's that happened also animated story time will be out soon i know this comes out tuesday it's going to be out soon i might post it thursday 16 minutes long yeah it's like 10 years in the making it's cool i love it i would love to not tell that many stories online anymore i only do them on stage transition those on stage and all my old stories redo them in the cartoon form the way they were doing them get a whole other audience mm-hmm it's so sick they'd be oh so there is he gonna cut him vertical too to drip them out like that i don't know it's just you too i didn't think about it actually like that i don't know but we'll find out we'll figure it out it's gonna be super sick a fan actually hit me up and sent me a two-minute sample of what it could be like eight months ago and then four months ago we kind of locked it in he's been working on this ship for four months straight making like hundreds of assets of me young me older me this but cartoon form like he's making these assets i love that he's doing it not ai it's all eight bit yeah it looks amazing unreal like some mario it's cool it's kind of graphic in some parts yeah it's got like uh aesthetic to it it's very it's well done i gotta watch it again that's cool show me i think he sent me the final version right now as we've been here he's awake right he's another country i can't remember where it's at shout out everybody we work with in other countries too we've got a global team here shout out to obby big shout out obby just got his one year huge shout out besides rocco he's the only person to stick around and be able to keep up that long yeah for real and give a and a great job i forgot what this is like yeah it's been a minute no the passing i remember it now we do so much that i'm like oh i thought we used to do that i probably used to do that because now this is the way it is now this is it with life and everything yeah yeah i want to watch a whole video oh i forgot i used to feel like that yeah i forgot like do you know what's easy it's been this way with the setup has actually been a long time like over a year like i think it was like uh like cartel bow and maxwell cream dane cook yep yeah over here over here that seems like so long ago i want to get brandon buckingham back on to have him talk about all this you know what speaking of great idea i'll text his ass today or tomorrow it's two in the morning now i'll text him tomorrow seems like he's doing better i don't know he's doing great watching his video last night i just almost smoked mike that's never gonna we need to do something every time that happens i need i need to like something needs to happen yeah like when you say the secret word in peewee's playhouse or something yeah yeah this has been literally just a kickback this is awesome i like i dunked on rockwell yesterday that's the big news no he has no mic so he can't defend himself i don't got him all the time in here no no we're at the basketball court and he was like this i was like oh what bad defense let me do something and i ran up his leg like marshall law from tekken with my foot like in the end of space jam yeah i put my foot on his chest and i jumped and as soon as i jumped and went oh where's the ball i forgot to get the ball so i went ball and rosie bro i knew it yeah rosie threw it off the backboard bang to my hand and i dunked it and i dunked it so hard i sent the shock weight and it knocked rock it knocked some of his hair off it was crazy and alan iverson showed up and he went damn kid i'm glad i'm older than you and i'd have to play against you because i wouldn't have been actually you know what i'd be a janitor if i you're so good and he walked off damn rocker just said that all happened that's the next animated story time by the way part two coming soon so he's just gonna land in a spaceship in the baseball field and newman's gonna go ladies and gentlemen Michael Jordan and no one's gonna be like oh my god let's run away as a fucking spaceship beer nobody freaked out this way as baseball fans he's listed up their show their their shock and nobody left they go oh Michael Jordan got off it cool mm-hmm thanks for ruining the game the fields now fucking charged this fields charred the second you leave your boosters ruin the field games over refund someone's fired you know the the repercussions for Michael Jordan landing on the field man this is dropping off outside this shit nobody's love it's 2:00 in the morning and when it happens man that's why I write all my shit at night cuz I think of the dumbest goofiest shit to me I just watched a whole movie and remember oh yeah Bill Murray's in space he was juking that's who we need on this fucking show I don't want Bill Murray on here I don't know if I can sit there and go hey man remember cat remember in Caddyshack when you're like that was funny like can we yeah Marty wants your autograph signed to Thomas his son Thomas do you remember it remember in my space jam when you're like I think I'm a pastor you feed me the rock like oh this is it my knees are bad remember that I just keep rubbing my legs like just like the Chris Farley that'd be me the bit over and over rubbing my legs just did you see the video Chris Farley on Twitter and I don't know bro could like on the he's like a weightlifter or some shit like used to be a lot of him yeah I haven't seen the video I guarantee he's been putting up three yeah so I was like god damn he was talking the whole time he's doing it too like look at him yeah fat guys that are at that can move are always strong he used to do cartwheels into the frame mmm you're fat can hold your hope oh this motherfucker so not to be fucked with and he was my height he wasn't big he was bigger bigger than me what was he like 32 or some shit I think he was 34 when he died I want to say maybe it's weird looking at him watching this shit no like how you see like people in comedy coming up in comedy in LA and like you can imagine what a loss I remember when he died when I was a kid I was so sad you know 33 mmm Jesus age well that's sad good note to go off on really sick I wouldn't watch the movie last thing when I watched the movie Obsession if you like scary movies I guess this is a scary movie it was more of a thriller a really psychological Thriller it wasn't like a horse movie it was one of the saddest movies I've ever seen in my fucking life I don't ever want to watch it again oh wow I already said it was great good movie though okay good put together movie concepts wild I just don't like it no I like the movie I don't like it why do I want to be sad I came to the movie to laugh like in Sister Act I don't want to be made me laugh like Sister Act dude or something make me make me laugh why the 15 minutes single why the fuck did I say yes to coming here I hate the last scary movie I watched was it the new ones and I hated being there like so I'm just gonna see her like this the whole time waiting for a jump scare but doing this because some of the reason this makes me not fucking now because I don't like it dude I don't want to like jump scares and I know it's coming and I see it and still go ah it's like someone pretending to slap me go I'm not really gonna slap you but it's gonna look like it go I'm gonna go like this every time even I know you're not gonna hit me only Kobe Bryant didn't do that see even that and I did it to myself almost blinked that took everything my fucking I'm gonna go to sleep now all my brain power went to me not bleeding I'm dead did you watch the last season of Euphoria nope not not about it I'm done they shot 900 bullets into that house at the last in the last season I went everyone's just dead dude I'm fucking over it I wasn't really tapped on with the show but I kind of understood it to the point to really understand when we watched this last season this is obviously it's like makes every girl think she's bisexual pretty much makes every 14 year old girl go I think okay yeah I I think I'm gay like no you're not you're just bored you watch do you remember when we were kids and the movie 13 came out with the two promiscuous ass it did the same thing every and then kids 10 years before that every single year there's a movie that comes out that makes young kids go yeah me too there's no 14 year old girl that needs to look like them and there's a lot that look like them it's like you're a little kid you watch Euphoria do you watch Euphoria or something because you're dressed really wild you're not gay you're not bisexual stop no I just turned every high school kid into a little older than they needed to be because they saw what it could be it's like the 90210 they made the new season like a movie though like something completely different it's something it should be a different show with a different title I don't know is she a hooker or something someone become a hooker or they start selling drugs yeah lots it's like Rocco's girl counterparts are selling drugs she becomes a kingpin basically she becomes a kingpin I guess the addict she didn't do it all I didn't want to watch it yeah no it's very much like a movie like an over-the-top movie to the point that it's a completely different show I'm not gonna watch it is it end so like it's over forever I mean like the end episode they're like done yes good okay it's like how shameless it's even way more but shameless became a completely different show than it started off as kind of similar to that I didn't watch the last season I went and skipped and watched the last 15 minutes of the last episode no I watched the last episode that fucking show was so good and turned into absolute dog like unbearably could not watch the last season it was so ABC family with like everybody got brighter and they look cleaner it's like why are you doing it's a problem like that's what happened with euphoria they got too successful there's too much money yeah and everybody's like like you're you're a drug guy why are you clean you know season one like yeah that's a fucking addict an extraordinary like that kid looks like he fucking smells yeah yeah that kid sucks the one that ended up marrying or getting with the other brother yeah the first season was grind yeah yeah um I'll say this I actually watched spider noir I'm only in episode two but it's pretty cool Nicholas cage of Spider Man oh it's noir like 1920 to 1940 maybe maybe 1930. uh-huh okay 1930. I said 1920 to 1940 this goes goes yeah that's why I just said the exact thing 20 to 40. no it's 30. jerk uh yo it's pretty sick I'm watching in black and white because you know it's supposed to be black and white you have the option yeah option to color black oh shit anyway episode two it's okay it's pretty sick so far I finished the boys it's over it's over I hate when that happens I'm still I I'm we'll see so should I get my fucking the guy out there I live next door to one of these fools and he's cool I gotta get him on this fucking show I don't see him that often I only see him every time I go to the garage and he goes to his garage hey new episode because I you know it's one of my favorite shows you guys know that and since season one I've watched and loved it every episode we've watched a week by week me we used to have a watch party and then I moved in my new house and went I'm a fucking this what the fuck is going on that's the motherfucker right there that's all seriously maybe I have to get his ass on the show I will bug him I'll bug him next time I see him I'll get him on the show I'm excited let's go uh anyway the show's over dude that sucks me and Rocco were outside going to my car and we saw my neighbor we just watched the new episode and you know me I'm like the most mellow ass dude to talk and I'll go oh yeah I'm in this I fucking screamed in the middle of the street what the fuck because I was like I was talking about the episode I'm like oh yeah I shouldn't be yelling this shit in the street I went oh not bad he was backing out of his driveway driving off and I went I was like he's like yeah man I'll talk about the show I'm like I'm fucking pissed right now because I'm a fan don't tell me but next week it better be better like something that better happen because there were so many things happening like fuck no and every time I just it's so fun to go this is the real review for you for your show I'm mad dude Damn it. And then I go back at my house go. What is my life? What is this? I go outside. This is incredible. I'm going back. I'm tired That's it. I just I just think it's really fun to go. I love that shit That's nice episode. What's the shit? I? Later, man. I put my trash cans back cuz I'm not trying to bug this motherfucker, but he knows I know That she was dying I'm not trying to bug his ass. I don't cross the street So that the other day when I was jumping in the street, he was there. I jumped I was so Anyway, I think it's really funny. He has an in-depth Real review every morning every morning after the show if I see him damn It's just a fun inception for me to go Sick that makes me laugh. It's really fun to me. There's no better Way of me. I'm laughing. Yeah Fuck yeah Marty becomes one room less tomorrow You have a free room this weekend. You will have an empty room and fill it with whatever you want It's weird cuz one of your kids is leaving Wow Weird weird for me too. I remember when I saw her my little ass kid It's weird I met you 2019 Yeah, that's a lot She's in like elementary school or some shit Wow It's weird. I'm telling you. It was just I was just it was just preschool first day. I Saw a picture I screen shot it of cam doing something Fuck man, how old is cam 11? Well 12 it was five when I met his ass I mean was what? Baby, right? She was still a little yeah No, she was walking Not very old. She's eight now, right? Yeah. Oh She's still your baby. Never mind. Wow. I don't remember her being so small Damn, I suppose I saw a picture of cam. Hello little mm-hmm Fuck I forgot all of all of the pandemic My whole stretch of like working for all the other Other podcasters and stuff the dope as usual structures have been as long as that's right damn near We're overriding it yeah, let's go we're erasing it actively not the bad way just yeah, no, that's sick That's awesome. People are getting all old. Yo Rocco saw today, but man My little cousin's been like hanging out my grandpa my mean grandpa, you know, he's been nice lady cuz he's old this fool got a Facetime with me today. She face time like this He was laughing and joking with me. Oh You ha ha Thomas you're getting all to it You think you're old now? I'm not a kid. Yeah, she has dementia Like oh Thomas. I know you remember my fucking name Cuz he keeps mixing me up with my dad fucking say Who's your dad I go fool The fuck he thinks my dad look at my face No miracle dad he's getting old but today was weird, man. He did this Like a like a little kid like all happy in his bed. I'm like, this is it this fool's done. He's not coming back Oh, they did it. They did they diagnose him today with full on dementia And I guess my grandma says he's staying up all night cuz he said these kids keep coming in and trying to mess with them And play around like there's no fucking kids here What the hell is happening? That's it? Fuck man. That's horrible We hear dude, my grandpa's such a mean mean mean evil man and to see him without that layer Mm-hmm and just be a normal guy is like this was you Everyone would be different if you acted like this this much then they're still scared of his ass They're fucking 50 all of them or at least 50. So it's just like damn dude used to do some evil things I can't even say this shit on YouTube. We get fucking flagged. He's just a wild crazy shit to these fools Anyway to see my grandpa Ten minutes later my sister text me grandpa's old as fuck. Oh Jamie - she she she face I view I was like, yep He was laughing. Oh right Sorry, it's just a weird chapter of my life where my dad was here last weekend and I could see the age on his face What what the fuck four-year-old now? Didn't like that. That's weird. I don't remember that happening. You know, my grandpa's old as fuck Life is different. Oh God All right, Jesus Christ. I'm gonna fix it. I'm gonna figure it all out. All right, boom Leave that up to interpretation Guys, this is one big long rant Marty's at the table. I think we figured it out. I think it's gonna work We gotta figure out the guest ones, but this is so much more fun than doing this There's so many solo episodes So I'm sure yeah, it's just you know, like this so like I forgot Sick Okay, I think we're making work. It's gonna be tight. We're gonna figure it all out guys. Thank you for being here We appreciate you. This is the dopest usual podcast drop a like but more importantly support us on Spotify Go press the like go drop a go watch on there. I Should be directing you off of here, I guess but it is what it is. How about this? Go just check out our Spotify They got a hella new features All kinds of cool functionalities That's real though. Go check it out People don't know cheaper this premium I'm trying It's real Functionalities dropping functions that we literally literally us literally put it It's the latest shitter I'd be rattling them off just know that they're there. Is it that crazy? You want it to build a playlist for you? And just give you type out what type of playlist you want. It's gonna cook it up brand new music I did it the other day. That's a cool new functionality and every time you comment just remember It's because they're nice and listen to us. It's a fact. We literally did that. Let's fucking go views. You're welcome transcriptions welcome Clips the vertical clips You need get a fucking dollar, but you're welcome Well, I people think we made so much money on Spotify guys. We have a fucking shit They just promote us and we help them out Maybe we had like managers or something. We would have been like yeah, we got four million dollars like oh shit I would imagine you would cause ah Well, thanks for promoting us It's like the episode the office where they're about to give up 1% to the to the accountants and they're like we got you these food They're like, oh, this is a nice gesture. Like yeah Just the food. That's how they did it to us, but they're like these guys are so happy. We invited to the party Just promote them like yeah, that's all we want all we We just want a chance. That's really what it is. Just give us a fucking fair chance like everyone else this platform not so much We're not gonna get that but it is what it is. At least Spotify gives us that chance. We appreciate god bless fuck Yeah, thank you guys for being here. We're gonna get out of here for a rant for another hour for Marty and I from the table Let's go. This is the dopest usual podcast. Have a dope ass day *Beep* It's all you can say *Outro music*