Drama Dinner w/ Jake Shane

Hey, what's up bad friends? I'm coming to San Diego Bobby's hometown on June 28th. I'll be there two shows in Del Mar. Bro, come out Del Mar and San Diego, June 28th, two shows at the sound, beautiful sound in Del Mar. And then July 24th, I'm in St. Charles, Missouri, very close. If not the same place, basically St. Louis, Missouri, their next door neighbors come out and see me July 24th. And June 28th, come see me in San Diego, Andrew Santino dot com for those tickets, Andrew Santino dot com. You two are bad friends. You are these two idiots. Bad friends. Bad Matt TV. Okay. And then it's called Sugar High Bakery. Shout out to them. In Michigan. They came to my show. There's no mayor. Real nice. What? I made sure there's no weed in there. There's no weed in it. Frank and Moose Michigan. Yeah. This is good. A little bad friend cookie. And then here it's me and my little prince. Yeah. Yeah. Do you hear about the prank? I pulled out on Carlos. No. What was it? What was it? You don't remember the prank? No. Okay. So we're flying into. Oh God. This is like a security risk. It's a security prank. Okay. Like you heard? Yeah. Okay. So we're flying into we're our late. So we're on the tarmac in LA. Would you hate when that happens? This is the worst airport in the United States. That's why we got to get out of here Spencer Pratt in there. In there. Anyway, we're at the LA acts on the tarmac. 90 minutes. 90 minutes hour and a half. Now we're flying to Detroit. Am I right? Okay. So correct. Oh, to you. And it's very good, dude. And I really good Carlos. So, you know, we have dinner reservations. You know how daddy gets when I can't have my dinner reservations. What do you mean the pilot didn't know you guys had a dinner? Did not know, dude. Which is problem. I don't know, dude. Let's go. Let's go. Right. So when we land in Detroit, we don't we have to get going. Now people have to make their connections. So you know what they say over the over you know what they say? What do they say? I don't know what they say is for those if this is your, you know, I mean destination. You sit while all the people get up never work and go, but they didn't never people sat. Yeah, people sat. Right. Well, I texted Carlos. I go because he's in the back. So I talked to Carlos. With the middle. Yeah. I put him in first class when we fly. No, not me. And I texted Carlos. Go pretend that you have a connection. Right. So everyone's sitting and he's rushing up, right? And saying, no, I have a connection. I have a connection, right? And he gets to the front. And then what do I do? He doesn't have a connection. He's lying. You call them out. So he maybe get that. I yell back at him. Yeah. I love that. Do you love that? I wish I was there. I knew you would love it. God, that's for you, dude. That's a good one. Yeah. It's a good one, right? He's lying. I know him. Yeah. And then he stood by the door waiting for me. So he let everyone and now the flight attendants are looking at him like, this is kind of liar. Yeah. Yeah. And then I, but I texted all my openers as well as two openers. Who'd you, who'd you bring? You brought cat and who else? Oh, Ramsey, but don't not. Yeah, right. Ramsey. Yeah. And I told them to do the same thing because I was going to call them out. But cat didn't do it. Yeah, cats were. She bailed. Yeah. So she bailed on the thing. She wasn't. She wouldn't do that. Yeah. So there's consequences. Big time. You're fired. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. He made her cry at dinner. What'd you do? I didn't make her cry at dinner, dude. She cried. She cried on her own behalf. I texted her. Wait. What did she cry of? He brought up like drama in her life. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's some drama in her life. Why? Why? Why? We're in dinner. Oh, we made dinner. Yeah. We made dinner. Normal dinner. Yeah. Normal dinner is drama. Yeah, drama. Dinner. Dinner. D.V. is what I like to call it. Yeah. Drama dinner. Drama dinner. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so I didn't know that it was going to make her cry. Did you? No, but you could, you could, you kept going after I saw the tears start. Yeah, but I'm, because I have Asian eyes. Oh, okay. And also I have bad poor eyesight as it is. Yeah. That's awesome. True. Yeah. That's true. That's true. So I have double. He can't see. I can't see shit, right? So I didn't see the welling. Yeah. I mean, and, you know, a lot of times you got to see the welling. So I pre, you know, I didn't see the pre welling. There was no welling. There was no welling of the eyes, right? So then I go, let's keep going. Oh, and you dug deeper. Yep. A little deeper. Then some water comes out. And then water comes out. I still can't see it. Really? Yeah. She's drenched at this point. Until I see lip tremble. Trumbles, I can see it. Trumbles. You can see lip trembles. Number one, you got up and hugged her. That's how I knew you knew it. That's on an eye chart when you go to the doctor. What? You know, they say, can you read this E F Q S P? And can you see this tremble? And they stand underneath? I know. I've seen that. I've seen that. I've seen that. I'm good at that. You can, you can watch. Yeah. So, um, but then we, I made up. Well, there and everything was fine. I apologize, perfectly, profusely. And, you know, and here's another thing I'd like to call out, if I may, please. So anyway, um, can I, can I cause something else? Yeah. All right. Well, um, remember when McCone said that Project Hellmailer Mary was okay? Well, he, what he said was that you think you're Ryan Gosling. I know, but he said the movie was okay. Yeah. He said he didn't like it. Yeah. Yeah. What'd you think? I posted about how I thought it was one of the best, it moved me. I cried about five times. Yeah. Yeah. Did you cry? No. Yeah. Do you know why you're a soul associate path. Yeah. You're a sociopath. You're a lunatic. A sociopathic lunatic. If that movie didn't make you cry, bring you to tears. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Then you didn't connect with what was really going on or you're a little too millennial for me. It's like not like a millennial. Yeah. Little millennial cringe. Why was it? What was it? What was it? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What about it was millennial cringe? That's almost ridiculous thing. I've ever heard just what do you mean? I don't like it being categorized like I hate the movie. It was fine. You know how hotels have like a sent day sprake. Yeah. Yeah. I just got like a hotel like a red book. I know. I'm so sorry, dude. It's all right. Yeah. I mean, it's, I smell like Red Bull now for the rest. It's one of those example. You know, those example clones again. Yeah. It's now. Yeah. I apologize. Red Bull. But that's not a bad thing. No, not really. Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, I apologize. It's okay. Because what he said was absurd. Here's the thing. What about the film was millennial cringe? I just mean that kind of style of Avengers style of filmmaking. Wait a time out. Oh my god. There's no Avengers style of filmmaking. The pacing was perfect. Dude. I'm talking about a tone. They're like. They have to be like. She's right behind. Oh, yeah. And there's a guy with a shield throwing it. Right. And a guy with a medal. What are you talking about, man? You didn't like the cheeky. I didn't like the cheeky self-awareness thing. It's they've been Hollywood is doing it for like 10 years. It's I'm personally over it. But the movie was movie was fine. It thought it was okay. Okay, but let me give a little bit. Let me give context for him the lesson. People that even haven't seen it. Ryan's character was accidentally executed by him to be a mumbly, bumbly unsure of himself kind of high functioning, uncomfortable person. Every man. So when he's doing this, he's playing kind of into the role more so than the thing you're talking to us. That's fair. He's playing us. I think it was less analyzing and the anatomy of a fall girl. They're both his late Bobby. No, Bobby. No. You guys, please. You guys are really. Yeah, they're really doing what's going on? What is going on? Because I walked in in the way. Also, you called me today five times. You left a voicemail. I couldn't make out. Yeah, yeah. And then what I did call you back. It was like, are you going to be okay with those? You're an EDM DJ. Oh god. I didn't understand the word you said. I said, I got to call you back. I can't even I don't know what you said. You did it. I know, but did you text me or call me? No. Why? It's, you know, it was about me. He's the boss. Dude, no, he's, I'm going to leave dude. What? I want to leave. What did I do? He just said it. What did I hear the boss? He's right. So I get nothing. You get all my love. All my love. I will send to you. I was going to do the Led Zeppelin. I love my love. I love my love. Whatever. Anyway, you give me that. Okay. Last thing I want to say, this is a couple of things I want to say, but you're before you move on. Go ahead. You're infinitely wrong about the film. If your criticism was that it was too long, that's one thing because it was quite long. However, it was well done. It touched a nerve. It's a representation of emotions, relationships, love, friendships, loneliness. It was about all of these things and it was encapsulated between someone that was a, you know, a being and don't even give that away because that's a spoiler. Well, it's been out for like three months now. I know but still don't give it away. Anyway, it's a rock reader. Yeah, we're going to call it the communicate. It was so funny. Anyway, it was like very cutesy. And I thought it was cute. Oh my god. This guy, ET was cute. ET, when we were, when we were kids, when you saw ET, did you get the same feeling as project Hallamary? A hundred percent of magic. Yeah, magic. Well, it also made me feel like, God, that's a really good example. Thank you. It made you feel like, oh my god, anything's possible. We are we can - We can win the war in Iran. - We can win the war in Iran. - That's what I thought. - Yeah, that's what it made me feel. - Yeah, I mean, we can do it. - We won't, but we can, you know. So that magical feeling that you get from like those 80s movies that were like perfect. - It had it in this. - It had it in 100%. - And I hadn't seen a movie like that in so long that it touched me in the right way. - Because you're in touch with your emotions. And Macone, you're so devoid of that. - Devoid. - That you just don't understand. - Empty shell of a man. - I've never met someone that didn't cry during that. - Yeah, yeah, my brother cried three times. How many times did you cry? - I'm not gonna, I'm not. - I'm either. - I'm not exaggerating. - Yeah. - I genuinely, well, he got teary about three or four times and then one real heavy one. - Call it cat birding. - I was birding. (laughing) - I was cat birding. - Yeah, you were cat birding. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's such a good one. - I welled up like three times. My brother welled up three times. Everyone asked to watch that movie welled up through. Have you seen it? Yeah, did you well up? - Yeah, I think I was two though. - Okay, that's fine. Two's fine. - Two's good. - Two's good, right? - One's a little scary. - One's scary. Zero. - Zero is- - Lunacy. - Lunacy. - Absolute chaos. - And you didn't well up at all. - No, I guess I thought it was cute. It was fun. - Okay, what about you, Spain? - I loved it. I saw it twice. - See? - See? - That's what I'm saying. - A real director's for a boy. - A real director's side. - Yeah, yeah. - That's what I saw twice. I wanna be like, I think I'm the next Paul Thomas Anderson. (laughing) Right? See's it and doesn't cry because they're so smug. There's a smug that's about you guys. - That's fair. - Okay. - What's your middle name, McCone? - Trevor. - Ugh, that says everything. - Yeah. - Yeah, PT. - You're a grand theft auto character. - Yeah. (laughing) - Trevor. - PTA versus MTC. - Yeah. - You sound like a, it sounds like a train line. You've been on the MTC recently? It's a mess. Look at, there's McCone. - There's a McCone. - Trevor. (laughing) - And guess what? Trevor didn't cry if that movie either. - No, he didn't. - No, he didn't. - He lit that fucking lighter. - Yeah, he probably lit the movie theater on fire. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Looking for meth. Oh, dude, speaking of airport. - Yeah, tell me. - Coming back from Mexico. They'd given us in this thing that I did. They gave us like a little-- - Can I guess? - Huh? - Can I guess? - Yeah. - Chicklets. - No, no, what else? - No, they gave us a football, a commemorative football. - Whoa. - It was just like a little, not like a, just whatever, it's like a little signature thing with the, with the title of the vent on it. It's a nice little thing. And I put it in my carry on. It's a little tiny football. And the thing goes off and then they search my bag and he's like thumbing through it and he's like, what's in the bag? And I was like, it's a football, like a football. And he takes it out and he's like, no. No, no, no. - He said no, what? - No. - He was like, football the game? - Yeah, he hates football. (laughing) - He's Mexico. - Oh, he goes. - It was a soccer ball. - Love. - Love. - I'm kicking it around. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - No, but he-- - I'm chicharito. (laughing) - Remember chicharito? - Chicharito. - Yeah. - In his, in his, you know, nerd pocket, the, what is this called? - Front pocket. - Front pocket. - Yeah, yeah. - Is there a name for this pocket? - I call it Andreas. - Tiddy pocket. - Okay. - 'Cause you always, the diesary do or whatever it's, what is the clothes you wear to the diesary do? - That's a kangaroo pocket. - Yeah. - It's a little single large pitch pocket. Kangaroo pocket. - It's a pocket. - Or whatever this front, he pulls out a needle, a pin that you would put in the end of a, like a pump, and he's got it on hand. - Wow. - And he, in front of you, staring at me. - Yeah. - No, Kangaroo. Can't have no, I was like, what, it's air. - Did he put it back in your bag? - And then he goes, okay, go. - Do you know, they gave it back, right? - Yeah. - Do you know why? - They took the air out? - No, no, no. They smuggled drugs through that. - Of course. - But it went through the thing, there was nothing inside but air. - I know, but he didn't know that until he, oops. - No, but they went through the X-ray machine, and then he did it afterwards. They stopped me. - Maybe the X-ray machine can't go through that thick leather. - Well then get a new one. (laughing) - I don't know much about. - He threw that? - I don't know. - It was wild. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And then they pulled out the, can't fly with fully inflated, the drop in air pressure. - Why? - It can cause the air inside to expand and make the ball pop. - It's not, it's just air, it's not helium. - Yeah, yeah. It's, it's, um. - Should've popped. - Yeah. - Pff. (growling) - Yeah. - He saved your life then. - Yeah, he saved all of that. - Yeah, he saved your life. - No, but then they pulled out my, I had my Thera gun with me. - Yeah. - The massage. - I love that one. I've used yours. - And he goes. - What? - What? - What? - And I was like, oh, massage. - Yeah. - Massage, and then the guy with me is like, what's going on? I'm like, and then he shows the woman in charge. - Yeah. - And she's like, what? What, what? I'm like, massage. Massage. - Yeah. - And then I go, massage gun. And my guy goes, not a gun. (laughing) And I go, not a, I mean a massage. - Yeah, yeah. - And he was like, massage. And then I turn it on. - Yeah. - Just so he can see, because it looks a little spacey. - Yeah. - It looks a little. - Like you have a laser. - It looks a little projectile, Mary. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, a little bit. - Yeah, it looks, it looks weird. - Yeah. - I use the other one, the, on the go one. See that one, the, the triangle. That one, you know, that one. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a cool one. - And I turn it on to show him, and I literally am like, giving myself a massage, you know, say. - It's so funny. - And he's like, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. - And he put it back, oh no, he didn't put it back, he threw it down on the table. - Yeah. - And then made me repack my bag right there. But outside of that, Mexico was amazing. - I bet. - Loved it. - I love it. - I love Mexico's about it. - Let's move there. - No. - I did have a fun time down there. My buddy got stung by stingray. It was kinda crazy. We're walking out. We're walking out. He was just either one died. - He were walking out and he goes, what the fuck? And it's not deep, it's only like two feet right there. And I was like, what? - Yeah. - You step on a shell and he goes, no, look, and he lifts up his foot and it's bleeding pretty good out of his foot. - Yeah. - You don't know the hangout there? - Well, you shuffle your feet. You're not supposed to stomp. If you shuffle in the sand, that's what the locals say. - I can do. - Yeah, you can't. - But I have my stingray flippers. - Yes. - You stole mine, those are mine. - You know those are yours, yeah. They bought two stingray flippers and they're just like, hang. You put them in the water and they're like, what's that? You know what I mean? - It's kinda cool though. I was like, how's your foot feel? - Oh, there's almost nothing I've ever said. - You gotta swing the bat. - Yeah, sometimes you swing, yeah, yeah. You agreed. - I liked it. - Yeah, yeah. Can I just say one thing? Oh, so, and this is the dumbest thing. And I never knew this. So this is new restaurant, it's delicious. I forgot what it was called, but. (laughing) - That good, huh? - Yeah, it's really good. And so, my man was like, you gotta get the lamb neck. - Lamb neck? - Yeah, the neck of a lamb. You can make it clearer. - Yeah. (laughing) - And I'm there with the girl that I'm seeing and we're eating delicious. And then finally the neck comes the neck of a lamb. - The delicacy, it's a delicacy. And I go, do they kill baby lambs? And she goes, what do you mean? And I go, what lambs, you know, have babies, right? - Oh yeah. - And she's like, no, the lamb is the baby. - Exactly. - And the sheep is the mom. I thought lamb was a fucking. - Different species. - It's just a different species. Woolier, if I might even say. Yeah, so I didn't eat it. Once I got that information, I was like, I'm not eating baby any. - Have you ever had veal? - Yeah, I've heard about that. - Veal's baby cow. - I know, that's why I won't eat it. - You've read baby duck. - I won't eat duck in general, they're too cute. - Don't you guys love duck? - What do you mean you guys? - You people? - You people in what way? - Orange does. - Oh, you mean Asians. - Then what about that? - Oh, I see. - Aren't you guys like the, isn't that duck? - Yeah, I'm not, you know, there's a thing. - Highly popular staple in Asian cultures. - Yeah, I don't like it. It's too greasy and. - It's very fatty and greasy. - Why is it? 'Cause it's very lean, isn't it? It's why is it so greasy? - I wonder. - Yeah, but I want to eat lamb again. - Or what about sheep? Will you eat sheep or just fuck 'em? - But then I asked, I Googled. (laughing) - I've never fucked that. - Oh great. (laughing) - Ask Carl. - Okay, please, like I held it. - You held it? - Yeah, yeah. - I don't like duck and I don't like anything gamey. - Yeah, gamey meat is not my favorite. - Like deer, or something like that, or stuff like that. - Oh. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I like just kind of regular meat, but then it's like, now it's getting even harder to eat regular meat to be honest with you. - Why? - My algorithm. - I did see a pig in a machine where the (kissing) - Yeah. - How they kill it in the (kissing) - Yeah. - The sound was kind of sick. - Yeah. - But the pain. - You also ordered boar Friday night. - It made me eat it. - That's wild boar. - That's not true, you made me eat it. - That's not true, that's not even true. That's not even true, that's not even true. I'll tell you what it is, okay? It had a variety of different meats inside the sausage. - Okay. - And wild boar happened to be a little bit of. - So wild boar ragu? Was it a wild boar ragu with sausage? - No, no, no, we had Italian sausages with peppers as appetizer. - Delicious. - Yeah, and the sausages had a little bit of wild boar, but it had a couple of other animals in it as well. - I didn't even part, sorry. - Well, you can read it on the fucking menu. - You're right. - Yeah, okay. - Was this tough for you guys, it's a little true? (laughing) - Sounds like it. - Yeah, a little bit, I mean his. - That's not true, we were a minute ago. - I know, but his tone is like, for instance, I'm like looking him on stage. - Oh, no. - What? - When you needed the lights on? - Yeah. And it takes three minutes to turn the lights on. - Well, I'm not like the lighting guys, so that was hard. - And then he's like, can you jump off the stage? It's like, what? - 'Cause it was four feet high. - Yeah, and I'm fucking four, five, four. Okay, so it's like the measurement. - I was worried. [BLANK_AUDIO] - Four foot tall, that'd be a difficult thing. - Well, it'd be perfect, actually. (laughing) - Bobby, I was literally just worried about you spraining your ankle. - Yeah, that was about care. - Yeah, of course. - Well, then why don't you put something underneath the catchers fall? Something soft and squishy, if you fell. - Yeah, you fell on like a fat guy, I think. - Didn't you? - Did you jump on a fat guy? - Yeah. - That's what he's there for. - Yeah, that's what he's there for. I just, I skinny, like, a car on carpet, no kind of a person I would never fall on. - You don't want skinny people in the front row, you want a big person in case you-- - Chunko. - Case you's crown sir. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got a crown sir. But anyway, so that was a problem. And it's just your tone in general. - Yeah, we had a good weekend, Bobby. - Yeah, I was great. - I was doing three more this weekend. - Yeah, we are. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Is the power going to his head? What's going on? - He has this thing where it's like, 'cause we've known each other for so long, that he says this out loud, and to the openers. Like, I can talk to him this way, because we have history. - I never, I never said that. - Yeah, you do. You say that we've known each other for so long, that we have such a different relationship, that you can talk to me in a very kind of aggressive, you know what I mean. - But I didn't say that. - He tells me that too. (laughing) - Ultra pouches! - You know, I, you know, these nicotine pouches. - There's a lot of them. - Your neck hurts, 'cause you know, sometimes you feel like you're getting more nicotine than what it actually says, and my body stiffens up. And I think my blood pressure goes through the roof. And wow, I want an alternative. - You want an alternative, and that's the ultra pouches. - Ultra pouch, because it's exactly right. - It has good things in it like. - Efinity. 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Zbiotics is back with a 100% money back guarantee. So if you're unsatisfied for any reason, they'll refund your money. No questions asked. Remember to head to zbiotics.com/badfriends and use the code "badfriends at checkout" for 15% off. Dude, I stayed at a hotel this weekend. - Glorious. - What's it called? - Well, it's a, so I didn't even, so dumb I was. There was a, it's the Ritz Carlton Reserve. Like, I don't even know what that is. Hello, so I'm sending you this photo. Look at this thing. This, that's exactly right. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Look at that thing. - Sorry. Go to the photo that I just sent you. This was off the back of my room. - Uh-huh. - You can walk out every single night. I went naked into the plunge pool. - Yeah. - That's off the patio of my room. Every night but naked. Who are you golfing with? - Yeah, Taylor was there. - Golfing. - No, no, no, not Taylor, but what else names are there? You golfing with? - No, I mean nobody. I mean, there's, what do you mean? - There's no celebrity. - There's guys. - I know the, what, what guys? - What guys? - I mean, like guys, golf guys. - Oh, so no celebrities. - No. - Okay. - No, there's just like guys at the golf course. - Just regular guys. - Well. - Just regular guys at the golf course. - Well, the guys could stay at this shit hole. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Regular guys just staying at the ritz on the ocean. - Well, they're only staying there till their house is good built. - Oh. - I also learned that Puerto Vallarta, which we were north of, but I learned that that's like the West Hollywood of the Mexican coast. - Whoa. - It's like. - The gay. - Huge gay. It's like downtown. - Carlos, write that down. - Yeah. (laughing) - Ace, we need to go back. - Yeah, well, get Carlos there. - It was, it was, you know, I guess it's as big. I was talking to a guy down there, one of the guys that worked at Resort, who he was awesome, and he was like, oh yeah, that's where, 'cause I was like, hey, you're living and staying here. What do you do as an American gay male? He's like, downtown Puerto Vallarta is West Hollywood. I was like, wow. - Really? He's like, oh, it's fucking-- - Look at that. - The gay scene there's incredible-- - Oh, my God. - That was my buddy on the left. - Are you being real? - No. (laughing) - Yeah, wow. - But apparently the scene is massive. - It's a cool scene, dude. So I left a couple parties early to go check in. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Well, there's probably a gay area everywhere. - Nope, not in Russia. - No, there's a gay area in Russia. - No, there's not. - No, there's not. - Look it up. - No, nothing about Russia. They leave if they're gay, they'll kill you. - Not in Iran. - Yeah. - There's a gay area? - No. - Oh. - These are all the places without gay neighborhoods. - Afghanistan, Iran, Yemen, Somalia, Qatar, Nigeria. Yeah, it's illegal in these places. - Well, in Nigeria, they'll kill you. It's against the law. - Almost all these places, it's illegal. - It's against the law. - Yeah, it can be gay in public. - Yeah. - Is there a mystery though, if you're a gay in Iran, for instance, right? Let me just say. - There are no, there's no gay neighborhoods in Russia. - Let me just, 'cause there are gay people. - Huh? - I mean, even though there's no gay area, there's gay people. - They get converted there, and it works in those countries. - Oh, the, what do we, what do we, you mean? 'Cause they know that they're gonna die. So that's what. - Yeah. - Do I think there's a gay neighborhood everywhere? - Yeah, but a lot of it has to be quiet. So, right, it's at St. Petersburg has a quiet scene, but I'm sure they can't be loud about it. - It's like, I'm a gay. - Yeah, or like, you had a tree. - That's like the park. - What? - That's where the park started. - Yeah, yeah. There's gotta be like inner workings, a worthy meat. - Oh, yeah, they probably meet up in like, in like, speak-easy, you know what I mean? - Like a speak-easy, like an old gay speak-easy. - There you go, Tverska Street, and non-descript industrial areas. See, they gotta hide away. - Yeah, yeah. - Oh, the three monkeys club. - Yeah, yeah, we've been there. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. There were only two monkeys when we went though. - And look what it says, various pop-up parties. So they got to come and go because of a pause. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But there's probably an excitement about it. - Right, it makes it sexy again. - Don't you think? - I know what you're saying. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But it's kinda like when we go to the legal. - Where it's like, there's a danger aspect to it. - Yeah, it's like, you knock on a door. Like a guy, you need a password or something. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, you know nothing about this, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So, all right, so I didn't know, I learned something new. - I just thought every country has a gay area. - I'm sure every country has gay people, but some of them have to be secret. - Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid. - Yeah, yeah. Wow. - Over here, you want to see me? - Yeah. - 'Cause I remember like when I was growing up, I guess in Korea back in the day, 'cause my parents would tell me. - It was illegal. - No gay, yeah, right. Not one gay, you know what I mean? And now there are gays, you know what I mean? So it's like, what happened? - They were always there. - Yeah, yeah. Or maybe this one day was, you know what I mean? The gay Korean Jesus was born and converted, I don't know. (laughing) - A Korean? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was a conversion of some sort. - Homo hill. (laughing) - That's what it's called, so. - No. - Go back to that. - In Korea. - Wait. - Ittewan, specifically the area known as Homo hill. - It's called Homo hill. (laughing) - Really good. - Homo hill sounds rad. - It rad. - I would go to Homo hill. - Anyway, I love Mexico though, I really do. And you know why? The food, phenomenal, the people, the most fun. The most fun. - I bet. - You can just goof with them. They don't take it so serious. It's like an escape. - Yep. - If I felt like it was on a little baby escape and the seafood, holy shit. - My procedure's next. Yeah, let's announce to the world This is going to be tracked and studied, yeah. So Carlos is going into Bosley. They're going to give him a full hair restoration. Now, did they say how many times they got to do it and all that stuff? - We're going to do it once this year and then potentially in a year. They're going to retouch. - How long is it going to take? - Probably eight months or so. - Eight months of surgery, yeah. - Yeah. - Oh, the surgery. - You're going to be under for eight months, huh? - No, McConnell will be there filming all 12 hours. - Now, let me ask you something. Because you're so bald, is that why you have to go twice? - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, it's an extreme operation. - Yeah, it's real. - That's so exciting. - That's a heavy lift. - Yeah, yeah. - It's going to look like a Toy Story 5, you saw. - Bloody. - Oh. - Did that come out right? (laughing) - No, but they did. - Woody's bald. - Yeah, so I'll have a bald spot in the back. - Wow. - Was Tom Hanks pissed about this? - No. - Yeah. - Isn't that funny that they did that? Why did they make him bald? Because he's getting older. - Right. - But he's a toy. It's like, I'm going into surgery to look like this. - Oh. - Carlos, when you took your hat off in front of them, did they go, "Whoa." - No, they were professionals about it. - Oh, man. - Because I would have been, "Oh, it's a lot of work." - Take your hat off, I'm the doctor. - Yeah, yeah. - Take your hat off, I'll be the doctor seeing him. - Yeah. - All right, so we think we're going to be able to do a really good job, don't you think? - Oh, I think so, Dr. Smith-Mar. - Well, Dr. Wagamy, I think that we are going to do - Well, we're the best in Beverly Hills. - By far? - Yeah, yeah. - Let's see where you client, yeah, Carlos. - There you go. - Oh my god! - Oh my god! - Shit! - God darn it. - We'll be able to fix that. - Yeah. - Probably. - You've got to come in 20 times. - In three years. - I mean, that's a lot. - I know. - I think they're going to be able to do it. - Did they take the hair from where to put it there? - Your bass? - No. - Oh, I thought it was your ass. - Yeah, it's called an FUE. - Yeah. - It's your back of your head. - If you want it curly, why can't you use your pubic region? - You could. - Yeah. - I would do that in the front, pubic. - What do you think? - Yeah, I agree. - Yeah. - You actually gaff. - Yeah, yeah. - But look at the unit attraction, FUE. - Yeah, that's gonna be it. - Wow. Are you excited? - Well, everyone already knows I look like this, but it'll be nice to like not wear hat everywhere. It can be a thing with like dating or something. It can be like embarrassing. - Oh, yeah. - Why don't you do the Bruce Willis? Just shave it all off. - No, I'm going to do the younger Bruce Willis and get this surgery. - Okay, but why didn't you do that before though to just be bald? - I did for like eight years and I just didn't feel like me. Like shaved head felt like. - You have an egg shaved head. - No, I have a nice shaved head. - Okay. - Yeah. - I got egg. It's like, you know, it's like the moon or something. - It's not this way, it's this way. It's longer. - Well, whatever our head is like. - The moon is circular. See that photo right there? - Yeah, I see it. - Yeah, that's the moon. - I think I have a nice head. - Andrew? (laughing) - Yeah. - You think of it as a nice head? - It looks like, yeah, I mean. - I mean, if you shaved the sides of you, you don't think it's like kind of-- - Well, we're going to see he has to shave the sides. - Yeah, yeah, it's going to look crazy next week when I do. - I think it's extra, but that's my bad. - No, it's okay. - Okay, I got my own thing. - What kind of egg? - Ostrich? - I don't know. - Ostrich. - Yeah. - That's the comedy one. - Is that the comedy one? (laughing) (laughing) - See, I already did. This is what I'm getting on the road, by the way. A little taste. - I'm gonna get, I do think I'll be a little more confident. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Okay, yeah. - Really? - Just a little bit. - You're quite confident, yes. - He says stuff like, oh, that joke didn't land, or like, right in her and stuff like that, you know what I mean? - Crazy. - You really put him down like that? - Yeah, he'll go, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. - Oh, wow. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. He'll do a rogan. - Yeah, I mean, yeah, yeah, be it, be it. - Your shows are in the middle of the playoffs, so it's like, I have other things to do too. - Basketball. - Yeah, basketball. - Yeah, yeah, rogan does that laugh, he doesn't like it. - Yeah, yeah. - Ah, yeah, he doesn't like it. - Or he'll go, ha, ha. - Oh. - Oh, yeah. - Twice he's on it. - Ouch, you on it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Well, it wasn't funny. - Yeah, but ha, ha, it's like-- - I know, but if I said something that wasn't funny, what would your response mean? - You'd do that all the time here. (laughing) - I know, I know I do. - Yeah, but we have fun with it. - You have to laugh through it. - Yeah. - Say something. - All right. That's why the egg roll reached for the sky. (laughing) - That you would do. - It's fun. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, you give you a little taste. - Yeah, you do something. - I'm gonna see if I can organically respond. - Well, and when she jumped, she didn't die. She bounced off the earth. (laughing) - Right? - Yeah, I bought it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I mean, the crowd would buy it. All right, now try, this is the Rogan way. Do it. - Okay. - That's why leprosy is a condom. - Yeah. (laughing) - It hurts. - Yeah, it hurts. - It hurts. - It'll hit you. - Yeah, you're like, fuck man, sorry. - You do one. - Well, that's why cheesecake takes better on the moon. - Ha, ha. (laughing) - Wow. - Ow. - That hurts. - That hurts, right? - It's like a, yeah. - You suck. It says you suck. Ha, ha, you suck. - Yeah, you suck. Or you just edit it out. Like, when I have guests on the other thing that I do, sometimes they'll say something that's not funny, but I'll laugh because it's just, I don't want to feel bad. - Oh, you polite, yeah. - Do you do that? - I do it on this show every time. - We do that all the time. - You think that half of the things I say isn't, that's not funny. - More than half. - So most of the things I say aren't funny. - 85. (laughing) - 85-15. - Really? - No, you're so, you're the funniest person I fucking know. - Oh, all right. So then it's like, I laugh at you because we're having the most fun I've ever had. - But as a guest though, you do pretend. - Oh, with guests? No, well, you just, you give 'em some space with it. Like, you go, you go, oh yeah. Like you just feed into it. - Yeah, yeah. - Until they hit the note. - Oh. - Hey! - Pump sit down. - Sit down. - Shut up. - Shut up. - Shut your fucking mouth. - Justin Bieber, everybody. Justin Bieber. (laughing) - We got him. - So Bieber, you're a, you're a Bieber fanatic? - Yeah. - I love Bieber. You like Bieber? - Yeah. - Oh. - Love. - Love. - Love. - Love. - Love, it's like a, beyond love. Like how I have with the Lord. - Yeah, with the Lord. - With the Lord? - Yeah, you religious? - He's a huge Lord. - I'm a Lord guy. I'm a Lordy. - I love that. - Yeah. - It's a beautiful Lord guy. I also believe in Satan. So it's like a conflict. - You can't do that. - I'm conflicted. Don't you have to believe in both? - That's true. That is true. - Yeah. - You actually do have. - Yeah, you do have to believe in both. - Yeah. - No, I think he's a talented. - Talent a kid. - But I don't think I'm jamming to the music, but I do. - What do you listen to? - The clash. - Yeah. - Oh. (laughing) Have you heard of them? - Yes. - Yeah. - Yeah. - They're great. - They're great, yeah. - What do I like right now? You know who I just started listening to? I just-- - Turn style. - I found this girl. - Okay. - Turn style is great, apparently. - Yeah, they are good, yeah. - Yeah. - I found this girl. I love her voice. - Is it Balakay? - Her name is Freya Riding. - Oh, I love her. - Freya, it's great, great. - Freya is so good. - It's beauty. - It's silky voice, yeah. - She's beautiful. - You guys listen to the same type of music. - Well, we're old. - World. - How old are you? - Old. - Oh, guess, this is fun. - Is it? - Guess? - Yeah. - 42. - No. - Older? - Yeah. - You're lying. - I'm not lying, you're a Google hit. - 48. - Older. - 50? - Older. - 54? - Yeah. - Shut up. - I am. (laughing) - Everything creaks. - Yeah. - Yeah, imagine. - See this hurts. - See this right here? - Yeah. - This hurts real bad. - I can, well, my neck hurts to you these days. - Why? - How old are you? - Guess. - Oh, fine. - 27. - Oh, 26. (laughing) - How old are you? - Guess. - Yes. - Here we go. - 46. - Oh, yup. - Up? - 42. (laughing) - Do you get Botox? - No. - Look at my fucking face. - Yeah. Looks like you have Botox. - You mean I need Botox? - No, it looks like you have a little botox. - It looks like you got attacked by a bear. - Yeah. (laughing) - In like the Revenant. (laughing) - It looks like I've been fucked up in the woods. - Yeah, yeah. - You win for the Revenant? - Yeah. - Yeah, he did. - Great movie, right? - I never saw it. I just remembered the Oscars campaign. - Oh, okay. - He never won. - Why didn't you see it? - It wasn't like my type of movie. - You don't like bears. - No, I don't love bears. - Muskits? - How about muskits? - What's a muskit? - Paws. - It's a type of gun. - Oh. - Yeah. - You don't like bears, do you like cubs? - Cubs sound cuter. - Yeah. - Are you an animal person? - Yeah, I like dogs. - Oh good. - Yeah. - I think I'm like getting there with cats. - Mmm. - I know. - You don't need to. - I know I don't need to. - Yeah. - I literally have a kitten right now in my house. - I told you I wasn't there with cats yet. - Yeah, he just told you he wasn't there? - I know, but I'm just trying to find a home for this kitten. - Oh. - Yeah, yeah, it's like this small, it's so cute. - Can't. - Why? - Dogs. - Okay. - Yeah. - All right. - I'm a dog, yeah. - Yeah. - You have a dog. - No. - What? - Why not? - I have nothing. - You have nothing. - You have a building that you live in though. - I have a home. - Oh my goodness. - I have a home. I need to take off my hoodie, it's hot in here. - This is why we do it. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, there we go. - That's right. - Stop it. - Yeah. - How tall are you? - Guess. - Five, two. - Three. - Five, three. Five, two, you asshole. - I'm five four, I'm taller than you are. (laughing) - Five, three. - Five, two, stand up. - Yeah, go back to, go butt to butt. - Yes, go butt to butt. - Butt to butt, that's the only way to really know. - Five, three. - Five, four. - Barely, take off your hat. Oh yeah? - Oh wow. - Oh no, Bobby, if you're five four, then Jake, you're five two. (laughing) - That's two inches of difference for sure. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll kill myself don't do that don't do it here. Don't do it here. Yeah. Yeah. I will. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you're five oh five three Yeah, I'm five I'm five seven then. Yeah, okay. What are you five nine? six one Steered up. Okay Okay, I take okay All right you do sit small. Well, I'm small. Yeah, yeah, I'm sitting at a desk. Yeah, yeah, yeah people say that they go I thought you were shorter, but where you're I'm sitting down on camera, you know what's interesting about this Can I just say something about torso and legs? Maybe you could back me up on it. Okay, so the girl that I'm seeing right now is five nine and her legs are five feet What I'm saying is is that even though I'm five four it works because the fact that like she has a smaller torso Wait, I'm sorry, I didn't listen Oh my god, I love hymns because you know, I've used hymns. 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She's five nine But it works because she is a smaller torso her torso smaller, so her legs are longer So it works when you're having you know, we are making out and stuff He doesn't understand that that doesn't really matter. That doesn't really make sense She's still taller than you now. I understand that but you would think that no you wouldn't think because your penis isn't at your feet You don't be you're not standing up kissing and fucking you're laying down. So you're slid up So your little feet are at her knees? I know okay, so I'm not like going look at me. You know, I mean you yeah, you kind of are no I don't look at my little feet by her knees going look at my little she sees him And she stays yeah, yeah, she does yeah, she stays. Yeah, she stays Are you single? I am yeah good for you. What are you looking for? I Don't know why I always said I wanted a boyfriend, but I don't I think I'm too selfish You're gay a little 100% yeah, okay, yeah, we heard a homo hill. No, what's that the gay neighborhood? We just looked it up Yeah, homo hill. Yeah, homo hill is the gay neighborhood in Russia. Russia, Korea. Oh, I want to go to Seoul so bad Yeah, go to homo hill, you know, my best friends in Seoul right now homo hill is supposed to be it would love you I this got brought up because I said I was just in Mexico and a friend of mine said Port of Iarta is like the West Hollywood. Oh my God. You bet you've been I've heard everyone's fucking It is true. Yeah, true. Yeah, that's PV and like that's what I've heard because the buddy of mine I said well, where do you go out like where are you gonna? We're you're meeting people because it was on the beach and he go No, no, I meant we were far away from PV and I said where do you go out to meet dudes then and he goes oh dude You go down to PV. This is heaven on earth. Yeah, look at that I know Why have you been why have I not there? Yeah, yeah, I don't know if that's my type of gaysie. What is your My scene. Yeah, I don't know if I found that yet really really do you what what what what's a night out for you on a Saturday night? Oh a night out. Okay, my New Yorker L.I. Well, you live here now, right? Well, I live in both So wait, what do you do on a Saturday night in L.A. In L.A. All Go to dinner. What time is it I have to know the specific specifically? You know what I actually don't love to well No, I'll do like an 8 p.m. Dinner I'm your roommate you might roommate. Yeah, so what are you gonna do tonight? I think I have dinner with some friends at eight Where are you gonna go? I don't know. We don't really know yet. Maybe like well We can't decide if we want to get dinner at living room and then continue going out. I love living room. Yes. Oh my god. It's fun Yeah, yeah, yeah, especially when it's warm. The asparagus there. This is a fending me for some But I'm not even getting annoyed. Yeah, have you been my friend Raul? No, hello He's from Spain. I'm from Spain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, we're in Spain None of your business. Yeah, yeah, Barcelona. What are you the police? Yeah, Barcelona Barcelona. Oh, I love Barcelona And what's your once with my mom? Oh really? What are you stay where I say you know, I don't remember but I remember I remember Loving it. Yeah. Yeah, he loves it there. Yeah, he's from there as well. Yeah, yeah What anyway Raul's from out of town. He's from Spain. Yes, and he's going to the living room. Oh, we love it Yeah, it's fun there. It's fun. Yeah, dinner and then what after we do for after after yeah, I'll probably go to bed at like two If I'm in a layout go to probably go to bed at like two. Oh, no, that's when oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah, the after that's when we pop off I don't like an after I don't like an after after party. I nothing good. Well, we're bringing it back to the apartment So bad bad love for you. I know you don't want to come over You know, maybe that's night. We're gonna do poppers. I love poppers. Yeah Carlos is excited. Yeah, Carlos loves poppers. LA is tame. New York. Is this where you go? Yes, I New York I Like can't like I when I really commit to a night in New York. Oh It'll ruin me for weeks. Oh, well, tell me why are you a big drinker? Big drinker. No drugs though. No Yes, yeah, we're like detector. No, yeah, we can smell it. Yeah, we just said that. What kind of drugs you do? No, yeah, you've on I'm okay. Oh, so I'll just tell you the drugs I've done. Okay, go math. No, you haven't on 100% having on the math He's a recovered addict. Okay, well, you set me up for that one. Are you really a recovered addict? Yeah, no, no, I'm a garbage head What is that a garbage? I'll just do anything. He would take anything. Yeah, yeah, are you lying? No, no, why would I lie? I don't know I don't know. He just pretended to be Raoul. What does that say? This is Bobby Lee kick in the habit. Oh good for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, four years. Well, this was to 2022 I relapse and then we had a relapse. Yeah, this is kind of null and void, but we made a trophy out of it. Yeah, we got a trophy out of it. Well, it's actually really refreshing the way I've done So I've done meth. I've done crack crack. What's crack like? I just feel so you fork and very good Really? One time you love the way crack smells. It's I like the way it smells. What does it smell like like poo? What kind of crack are you talking about crack? You said you like crack the way. Oh the drug. Yes. Oh yeah. Yeah He's done crack meth. I know you're talking about the. No heroin never heroin. No heroin. No heroin. Yeah, that's a hard one. Yeah, that's a hard one Yeah, I've done Molly. Well, of course. Yeah, of course. Um, I've done weed acid moisture. I mean, acid, acid scares me. Yeah, yeah Yeah, no, what have you done? Let's move on. Let's move on. Okay, but you can we do this? So you have done other things other than alcohol? Yeah, of course. Okay. Well, then let's just move on. Yeah, he's 2026. Yeah, yeah, young man. Where are you for you're born in New York? Yeah, well born in LA raised in New York. Where are you guys from? Chicago? San Diego. Okay, my brother's getting married in San Diego. Oh, it's a beautiful city. It's gorge. One of the bet. It's gorge. Gorge. Yeah, born in LA. You were born to You're an LA high school kid. No, I was born in LA. I moved to New York when I was two. Oh, so you New York. I'm a New York kid. Oh, you're a New York kid. Yeah. Are you a man, a man? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Wow. What does that mean? He's born in the he's raising the city. Oh, I wasn't as exciting as you would think. I just like New York so much. I don't even know the burrows. It's Brooklyn. Yeah, I don't want to know. No, no, no, no, no. Let him guess. Okay, guess. There's five, right? There's five. Am I? Yeah, there's why are you doing this? You don't think I can do it? Yeah, go Queens. Yeah, Brooklyn. I just said that doesn't count. Yeah, but there's five. So that's one of the five. That's no D on the end of Brooklyn man hat - Yes. - Okay. - Give me the first. - No, you're kidding, right? - I swear to God, give me one letter from the-- - B, the Burrows. - The Burrows! - Oh, what, what, what, Bronx? - The Bronx. - Yeah, and give me the last letter. - H. - Harlem. - Yeah, there you go. - I'm so sorry. Are you, are you well? Harlem is not a burrow. - Harlem. - It's a neighborhood that Harlem's in Manhattan. - Staten Island. - Yes. - That's a Burrow. - That's the one. - I think, yeah, well then don't say it like you know. - It is like that. - Yeah, it is like that? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Okay. - Yeah. - Brooklyn and Manhattan, Queenstown, the Bronx. - When I saw Gings in New York, I had no idea what was going on. - Ooh, I wanted to hit that movie. - It's so good. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Is that about the five corners? - Yeah. - You never seen that movie? - No. - God, that's good. - I feel like you've never seen any movie. Name a movie. - Oh, really? - Yeah. - Okay, let's go, you know what we're gonna do? - I flew over the kooku's nest. - Never. - Force Gump. - Of course. - Why, of course? - 'Cause I feel like everyone. - Shaw Shangri-Duncan. - No. - Top Gun, the original. - No. - Oh, um. - Top Gun, the new one. - Yes. - Yeah. - Good fellows. - Yes, I love good fellows. - Oh, you do? - I watched it when I had COVID. I was in my-- (laughter) - It's a good COVID movie. - I was in my like, I was in my like mob era. I was like obsessed with mobs. - Oh, so Godfather you've seen. - Yeah, I don't really, I can't. - Why? It's just like really, like I don't understand. - What do you mean? - I couldn't know what was going on. And then I started part two when I fell asleep. - Casino. - No. - Wow. - Which mob movies did you really like? - Yeah, Casino's one of the best mob movies of all time. - Just good fellows. (laughter) I think if you, that's the, that's pretty much, I loved good fellows. I thought it was, I thought it was very well done. - It is well done. It's one of his best movies at that. - Turns out it, yeah. - Yeah, it is well done. - Yeah, that's good. - That's good. Braveheart, we said, you never saw that. - ET. Yeah, I've seen ET. - Yeah, what is it about? - It's about an alien that like, (laughter) hangs out with all the kids, and it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. How about, did you see the new movie project, Hail Mary? - I did. I did see that. - And what do you think of it? - I cried. - How many times? - Like twice. - Yeah. - Yeah, I was right there. Three times each year. - Fuck you. - Did that guy in the middle? - Scott, he didn't cry. - He didn't cry at one time. - What, once? - He didn't cry at all. - Once your birthday. - June, you Gemini. - Gemini's don't cry? - You evil. - You evil fuck. - Yeah. (laughter) - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Jake, I sect him. - Yeah. - What do you think about these Gemini's? What is it? - Tell me about him. - I'm in Gemini rising in a Gemini movie. So I know a lot about Gemini's. - Okay. - They're very two-sided. - Okay. - You have two sides to them. - Oh. - But. - Yeah, yeah. - Two-sided. - Two-sided. - So like, you're, you can lie. - Oh, he's a lie. - Gemini's, so he's a piece of shit, huh? - You don't know if you're a piece of shit, but you definitely go to bed at night and you look at the, you look at the ceiling and you just don't know who you are. - Yeah. - Oh, confused. - Oh. - About who you are. - Okay, do all of us, that's great. - Do all of us. - That's great. - I'm a Libra. - Oh, you just want the piece. - I want the piece. - That's you. - No, not you. (laughter) - He's mad at war. - Well then, I need you. - Yeah, yeah. - What's your side? - Mine? - Yeah. - Virgo. - Panda. - Yeah, that, no, no, no, no. - That's the panda with the fuck. - Panda? - Yeah, no, not panda. - That's not your side? - No, no, that's not my side, dude. - No. - That was the coy. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You're, you like control. - A coy, dude. - And I can tell you, you've been cut that, cut that, cut that, cut that, you, like control. - Yeah, I'm doctor control. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You went to med school. - Yeah. - With Trump. - No, you didn't. - We're both doctors. - No, you saw the photo, dude. - Okay, we're both doctors. - What is? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So you went to med, are you lying to me? - Yeah. - You went to medical school with Trump. - And you're also a recovering drug addict. - That's true. - That is true. - That part's very true. - Yeah, like in the movie. - So the first part's fake. - Yes. - Oh, you got it. - Why, what was the fake? - The Trump. - The med school with Trump. - Yeah, I'm gonna go to med school. - What? I don't know. - Look at us. Do you think I'm Dr. Ken Jung? - No, I don't. - You think I was in the hangover? - No, I didn't know I was just in the hangover. - No, you're lower. This is a lower entertainment. - You're on the basement, you're on the basement right now. - Yeah, you're in the basement. - All right, so dissect the spaniard right there. What are you, you're a. Areas. - Areas. - Areas, you're nasty. - Fucking nasty. - Yeah, nasty. - Man, he's a shit. - Hell yeah. - Areas men are so rude. - Who are you most attracted to? What sign of men? - Louise, do you think I have a specific sign that I'm attracted to? - Maybe like a sign. - Yeah, I love a sage or a Virgo, I love a Virgo. - Thank you. - Yeah, you're welcome. - I sage, yeah, yeah. - Sagittarius. - What is that, what month is that? - It's late, or it's November, December. - In the Chinese thing, what year are you? - I think I'm year of the rabbit. - Yeah, I can tell. - Yeah. - You do have rabbit in it. - Yeah, you hop like a motherfucker. - Yeah, I can feel it. - What are you guys? - I'm pig. - You're pig? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - What am I? I have no idea. - 83. - 83. - Let me guess, let me guess. Snake. - I see that. (laughing) - Pig. - What do you guys get over here? - Pig's dude. - Yes you are. - Yeah, dude. - I'm going dude. - Wait, that's so cool. I don't even know anything about that. - Yeah. - We got one of the year of the pig, dude. - What does it mean? - The pig is the last animal in the Chinese zodiac. People born in the year of the pig are innocent and enjoy happiness. - Don't you're so innocent to me. - They're laid back carrying considerate kind when makes them the best friends to have. - It's dude. - Oh my God. - Dude, what about football, dude? - Oh my God. - What are you laughing at? - I'm the rabbit. - What is rabbit? Let me see. - Wait, put 1999, that was just to make sure I'm not. - You were born in 1999. - 1999, here we go. - So were you. - What does a rabbit mean? Let me guess. - Gentle, this is not correct. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Gentle, quiet, elegant, alert, often embodying peace, longevity, and prosperity. They don't have to be compassionate, witty, deeply reasonable, though they can be conservative and overly cautious, but it's a highly social, artistic, and avoid conflict. Making them loyal, albeit sometimes reserved friends. They love poppers late at night in New York. - Oh, it says that. - How does it know that? - They lie, they say they're five three. - Yeah, it says they're liar. (laughing) - Gentle and kind. Oh, I love that about me. - Do you think you're gentle and kind? - Yeah. - Yeah. - I think I'm definitely kind. I don't know if I'm gentle. I feel like I'm pretty abrasive. - If you picked up like a baby, like I would drop it. I can't. - Oh, okay. - That's not gentle at all. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - What? - No, but maybe he's-- - No, I've never dropped a baby, but like you see, I'm like hitting this mic back and forth. - Yeah, but I feel like if you did pick up a baby, you'd be gentle about it. - I mean, I'm very good with kids. - Yeah, there we go. - Yeah. - I'm very good. - You're gentle. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - How long have you been with Louise? - Since the day I started to work together, we were co-workers. - Where? - Well, she worked out a management firm. And the management firm had a joint venture with the record label I worked at. I was the assistant to this guy named Zach. And Zach is now my manager with Louise. - Wow, what's the record label? - The record label is 10K projects. It's now Atlantic. Well, it's not-- - It swallowed it up. - Louise, what is it? It's still 10K, but Zach is now out of the Atlantic. - Okay. - So what did you know that you wanted to kind of escape that world become more of a personality? - You know, I never did. I never wanted to escape. I was very happy. I loved working for Zach. I loved going to work every day. I loved music. I had so much fun. And then it kind of came randomly. Like not randomly. I was posting online, but I think I was posting with no end goal, really. - It wasn't like a premeditated. This kind of a felony. - It wasn't. Yeah, I was like, if it happened, like Zach always used to like make jokes about it. Like if anything happens, I'll be your manager. - Wow. - And then-- - You just have a natural gift for our personality. - Oh, thank you. - When you came in, it was like, you know what I mean? - Really? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You know what, I'll take that one. Fucking the rosyest cheeks I've ever seen. (laughing) - Bra, bra. - Oh, it's a problem, it's a problem. - Is it a problem? - Yeah, I have moisturizer. It's tinted green. - Yeah. - So it like. (laughing) - It's the way the rosiness. - Really? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's a green Louise, that's the color, yes. - Yeah. - Can I-- - I don't understand. - The green, like-- - No, no, but why do you want to do it? - Because it's too fucking rosy sometimes. - Really? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - There's some photos of me that are so fucking ugly. - Yeah, yeah. - No, I like the rose. - You like the rose? - Yeah, yeah. - It pops. - That's your new nickname, is the rose. - The rose. - The little rose. - Yeah, yeah. - Little boy rose. - Does it get rosy in other parts of your body? - All right. - No, and that's not what I was asking. - What are you saying? - What parts of my body? - Like it's shoulders. (laughing) - Do you get rosy? - No, we get it's like, we get that bad. - What? - I think my body gets like red. - Oh, so you don't tan. - No, I burn. - Do you have rosy cheeks? - Yes. - Well, he's saying your tush, your rosy cheeks. - Oh, yeah. - No. - How do you know? Because I can see my own ass. - Through a mirror. - Sometimes. - You never go, you never go. - You never like your own ass. - I've never, like if there was no mirror, I think that's an impossibility. Unless I go to a pond, right? And I do one of those deals. But it's like, if there was no mirror, I would never see my ass. But yes, I do have a mirror and I have seen my ass. - You take yourself down to ass pond over there. - Yeah. - Look at that. - Yeah. - Take yourself a good look at that. - Yeah, but. - Yeah. - Do you have a big butt? - I don't know. - I mean, do you like your butt? - I don't hate it. - I hate my butt. - Really? - It's too flat like me. - Like you're what? - Face. - Exactly. - I actually do not think you have a flat face at all. - Thank you. (laughing) - He said it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You said it. - Would you let me say it? - You did say it. - Well, he pushed me all the way there. - I know. - What did you want me to do? - You did say it. - Yeah. - You do not have a flat face. Thank you. At all. - No, it's a fret face. - Yeah, a fret face. - A fret face. - A fret. - Yeah, yeah. - No, he does. - But if I was on a coin, I was a president. - Not good. - Yeah. - That's gonna be a line. - I have the worst, I have the worst side profile on this. - Can I see it, let me see? - No, it's great, it's presidential. - No, it's very bad. - Yeah, and there's one side that makes me look like I need a nose job and the other I don't. - Oh, what happened, boxing? - I know I fell off a tree. - Oh, close. - When I was a child. - What, what, were you were climbing trees? - I was climbing a tree at a seafood restaurant in Massachusetts and I fell off. You wanna know something crazy? - Yeah. (laughing) - I bought a homeless guy's Shake Shack yesterday and as I was putting the food down, I looked at his foot and had a swastik on it. - No. - I swear. - I swear, you do it where you're homeless now? - Yay. - I swear, I got in the car, I looked at my friend, I said you'll never believe it. - No. - He was such a nice guy. - Did he draw it on there? Because I don't think he has it, it was a tattoo. - 'Cause you're white, that's what he was nice. - But I'm Jewish. - Oh, well, he can't tell. - Oh yes, he can. - Yes, he can. - Yeah. - Well, what did you do then? - I got in the car, he said, oh my God. - You gave him the Shake Shack. - Yeah, he had a dog. The dog's obviously not a fucking Nazi. - No, you don't know that. - You don't know that. - Was it a German shepherd? - You don't, it could have been that. - Did it put it in his pop? (laughing) - Have you guys just been podcasting all day? - We started at 4 a.m. (laughing) - You know my friend Matt almost flew out for this, he loves you guys so much. - Oh. - Uh, you don't know him. - Oh, he's like, oh, okay. - Actually, he's a tour manager. - Matt McKinney? - Oh, no, no, no, no, no. - I don't know, I don't know. - I don't know, he should have come out. - Yeah. - Matt, we love you so much. - So how do you feel about this? We went to Coachella and we saw the strokes, and then-- - Oh my God, I saw the strokes, and it was unbelievable. - At Coachella? - It was the best experience in my life. - And then Bieber was gonna go and then I went home. - What? - You missed out. - Yeah. - Did you go week and one or two? - Week and two. - Okay, so I saw the strokes week and one. I die for the strokes. I had the most fun of my life. - Did Bieber do the YouTube video thing then? - Yeah, it was amazing. It was so cool. I thought it was so cool. - Yeah. - Who are your friends with? Justin Bieber? - No, no, no. - Someone in a band. - Well, I had met-- - You friends with Julian Casablanca? - Yeah, so when I was on Matt TV, I introduced them when they were on Matt TV. You can see it on-- - Wow! - The latest jump from their 2003 album. - Right, and then they came-- - What? - For their 2003 album. - This is it, yeah. - Yeah. - And what do you look at? - This is it. - I was about to say I didn't want to know. And then I got in trouble, do you know why, because I was using drugs then, and I had a bowl of drugs on my dressing room, right? And the guy that-- - What? - What? - Yeah. - What? So I had a bowl of drugs on my dressing room, and the guy that was dating Drew Barrymore. - Valenci. - Yeah, Valenci. - Who, let me see? - Nick Valenci. - Nick Valenci, yeah. I don't know if I can-- - I think I got in trouble because he was supposed to not take and he took, and I think Drew Barrymore complained, and I got in a little bit of trouble, I think. - Oh, he's hands on what drugs were that? - I was a pillhead then. So Vicodin, Valium, Somas, they just said bowl-- - A bowl full of just a mixture of ones. Different sizes, shape. - I love how casually you talk about it. It's actually very, it's probably very inspiring for people who are in recovery. - Oh, why? - Because it's probably such a stressful topic for some people, and you make it so-- - Talk about-- - I have an addiction, and it's a disease, and it's like, you know, I've what-- - What? (laughs) - Everyone's here to-- - Yeah, and I, you know, and so there's no shame in it. - Right, yeah, no, that's what I'm trying to say. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's congratulating you. - Yeah, oh yeah. - I mean, Carlos is an active addiction right now. He's an active-- - You are? - Yeah. - I mean, yeah. - Yeah. - For what? - I mean, everything? - This is crazy. I mean, I took Molly at the Strokes and-- - Catamene, Molly. - Yeah, I got Catamene into the festival. - He had a Bible. - Yeah, he had a Bible filled with drugs. - But like, are you taking it right now? - Yeah. - No, no, not before-- - Not on the show. - So you'll take it like on a weekend now? - Yeah, I'm like-- - I don't think you're an active addiction. - Thank you. - Insane. - He doesn't know. - He doesn't know. - Yeah, they saw me on tour, like, doing a lot of-- - One time I was, okay, so we're in Nashville. - Uh-huh. - It's such an exaggerated-- - It's not. It's what I see. - Okay, Sam, what do you see? Tell me. - All right. - All right. - Excuse you. - Excuse you. - Excuse you. - Yeah. - That was a nasty. - That was a nasty. - That was a nasty. - That was a nasty. - That was a nasty Asian joke? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Why did you see it? - Why did you see it in Nashville? - Okay, I'm walking on a street. It's like three in the morning. - Okay. - Just got out of Taekwondo. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 'Cause I take the best Taekwondo classes. - He takes those at night. - In Nashville. - Yeah. - Late night. - Oh, you're serious. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, I'm a purple belt. (laughing) - Okay, what did you see at three a.m.? - It's all purple. - So I'm wearing my gear, you know what I mean? My gear. - Gear. - Gear. - Gear, gear. And I have my purple belt. I have my duffel bag. And I'm walking down the street. It's just my amount of business. Be it to be specific. And that's not so bad. I'm so sorry. - You're in it. - No, I'm so stressed out about it. - I just started to hear it. Obviously I fucking heard it and I'm so stressed out. - There's not yet? - No. - Okay, I'm sorry. - It'll make it's way. - No, it actually can't. And I need a fan. (laughing) Please continue. - It won't get up. - Oh, you don't fart? No, I mean, look, I just really struggle with smell. - Oh, you do? Okay. - What? - We're looking for a fan. - No, no, no. - Oh, I can't. He was kidding. It's not gonna make it to you. - I pray to God. - Yeah, it's not going to. (laughing) - All right, go ahead. - Anyway, I'm walking on the street. - But I, et cetera, et cetera. And I look down an alleyway and I see a man making out with, to me, looks like a meth head. - Yeah. - From a distance. - Is this real? - Yeah. - This is real. - And it's Carlos with this girl making out just on, in the alleyway, just sitting down. - Again. - Making a crash can. - Against a dumpster. - Then what was so wrong with that? - Rock and roll, man. - Rock and roll. - Yeah. - What's the problem with that? - What was the problem with that? - What was the problem? - Were you accentuating drug use? What drugs were you on? - And then he came on the bus naked. Half naked. - Are you a tour manager? - Yeah. - Yeah. - You remind me a lot of Matt. - Oh, I know Nolan, by the way, you're the producer. - You know, no, shut the fuck up. How do you know Nolan? - He reached out to me and wanted to just talk. - Oh. - He's in this show. - He's awesome. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - He does? - He refuses. He refuses. - Why? - I don't know. - Okay. - I don't know. It's so nice. You have it so lucky. You don't know how good you have it. - We do. - I just had Mateo Lane on, do you know him? - Yes. - Yeah, great guy. - Yeah. He's very funny. - What? - You're asking because he's gay? - Yeah. - You know what? - That felt weird. You're right. I apologize. - Well, I don't care. - If you asked, hey, do you know who Ronnie Chang was? I wouldn't be offended. - Right, but I wouldn't ask that. - Why wouldn't you ask that? - I don't know. - Because he's, I don't know who Ronnie Chang is. - Yeah. - I don't know who Ronnie Chang is. - What? - What is that? - You don't know who Ronnie Chang is? - Oh, yes. I know him. - Yeah, yeah. - Well, I don't know everyone's fucking gay. - Okay. All right. - Okay. All right. All right. Am I bad? - What is your type of, who are you looking for? Because we've got a lot of fans that might have not, not, not familiar with you. They might be just getting to know you. And now, you're opening up some new, new gay. - You know, I, I think I'm, I always say I'm experiencing the experiences of like a 16-year-old girl for the first time as a 26-year-old gay boy. And so I don't know what my type is. I think I'm figuring it out. - Did you come out later in life? - Now, what do you think? - That's actually hostile, what you just say. - And I don't find that appropriate. - I came out to my parents when I was 10, 11. - Oh, I didn't know that. - How did you do it? How did you do it? - I walked up to my mom's office. - Can you do it in the 10-year-old kid, that's it? - I said, I had like a high pitch voice. - Yeah. - Said I think I like boys. And then I asked for a toy. - And your parents fully accepted it? - Well, yeah, they knew. I was like, it was in dresses. - No, he sang with it. - They're supportive. - Of course they were. - Okay, that's good. - No, yeah. - It's not, of course. - You never know. - Okay, well. - People do go through. We have a lot of friends who have gone through. - This is how it went with me. - Dad, I'm gay. You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, - You, you peckle, you'll bug, you're gay, are you gay? - No, I was a kid. - What do you mean you were a kid? - I went in high school, I would get drunk. You know what I mean, and I just blow guys out of party. - What are you, full straight? You know that. - You can see that from pretty far away. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pick up answer, answer, answer. - Oh my god, answer. - Matt is texting me. - Okay. - Yeah. - You're on bad friends. - Am I? - Yeah, you are. Hey, Matt. - Hi, Matt. - Hey. What's up, guys? - Why'd you text Jake? Why'd you text him? Tell him why you texted me. Tell him what you are texting me right now. - I was just asking if he knew as certain people were Jewish or not. Just off the top of his head. - Why? - Why? - I'll read you our text. He said to me yesterday at 11, at 4.02 PM is Ann Hathaway, Jewish, and I said, "I don't know why." And then he never responded, and then today at 1 PM, he said, "Do you know if Meryl Streep is?" And then I said, "I don't think she is. She might be. Why?" What about Jennifer Gardner? She's a maybe. - Maybe, yeah, yeah, yeah. - So, why do you want to know who's, are you counting people? - He is. I'm just genuinely I'm just curious if anyone knows just like this is how it starts Do you run a train the company? Yeah, this this is how it starts. My God That was nasty He said do you run a train company? It was an autism joke. No, it was a holocaust Okay, goodbye Bye, you just hung up. I love that. I love that Bye, yeah, gone. That's not like my Yeah, wouldn't it be a bummer though if he died moments later. I fucking kill myself Well, you would he's like a best friend. Yeah, say goodbye sweetly. Yeah, I know stop there. I don't like that Well, I know yeah, he knows I love him because our goodbyes is as if I'm never gonna talk to him I'm saying because that little sassy thing you just I didn't like it. That's gonna be bad for you in the long run That's rosy chick chick. I don't like it. That's rosy shit right there. That's rosy sweetie. You know what boom Our conversations. All right, so good set. You had good set tonight. Yeah, it was pretty fun man That's getting late. Yeah, no, it was good. Yeah, it's getting light I love you. Oh, is that real? I love you too. Yeah, we say I love you ever and then I go Good night Yeah, what do you say? Oh, I don't say that I say okay, goodbye. I love you. That's why you but that's not how you didn't yeah, because I'm putting on a show Okay, talk about Vardillion. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I always say I can't not say love you I have to say love you and I have to hear it back. Yeah, yeah, did you have fun though or not? I honestly would love to come back No, we want you back. I think we want to come on my show. Oh, we would love to the flow the flow really yeah, it was pure It was very real. I was gonna fat my ass down. Yeah, yeah, and we just boom. Yeah, it's kind of like a barber shop in here It well, yeah, I guess salon. I don't think so. Sorry. Well, you're here. It's a salon. It's a salon. It's a salon Get your hair done. That's you know what? I don't like that He did it out again. Yeah, he yeah, he's saying it's nicer. Okay. No, that's not what he was saying That's not what he was saying. He was saying it's a salon for me when I got you guys call it the barber shop It's the salon for no, I call it salon too. Really? Yeah, you are a guy Will you look into that camera and say thank you for being a bad friend. Thank you for being a bad friend