Dr. Phil Reveals The Exercise That Rewires Your Brain in Minutes

Anxiety, depression and loneliness are the highest they've ever been since records started being kept among our young people. If people are having anxiety in the absence of genuine threat, then they're obviously telling themselves something that isn't true. You said in the past that the internal dialogue of anxiety is fatalistic. You have to live with intention because if you get up and you're just reactive to what happens in your life, instead of choosing what you do, then you're just living reactively. I think the fear of failure grips a lot of people and keeps them from taking that steps forward. You've got to find that thing that really fills you up and the way to do that is you have to start asking yourself questions, "What matters to me?" There will never be another you. What are you going to do with it? For someone that's watching this podcast, how do they go about figuring out what their purpose is? If you're looking for an answer, you've got to start asking the right questions. Some of those right questions are. Hey guys, welcome back to the Ultimate Human Podcast. I'm your host, Human Biologist Gary Brecco, where we go down the road of everything, anti-aging, bio-hacking, longevity and everything in between. Today is definitely one of those in-between podcasts. Today's guest is arguably the most recognized figure in mental health in all of modern American media. You know who he is, but what you may not know is the backstory. So welcome to the podcast Dr. Phil. Been waiting on this, looking forward to it. Have you really? I've been waiting on this too, so I don't know what. We were going to talk to our teens about what took him so long. But it's an absolute honor to be sitting on the stage with you. Well, sitting here. And, you know, I would argue that the vast majority of my audience is very familiar with you and your work, and four times your time is the best-selling author, 21 season show. As I said, without a doubt the most recognized face and mental health in all of modern American media. I've been at it a long time. Yes, you have. But, you know, what fascinated me in preparing for this podcast was I went deep down a rabbit hole on the backstory, because I find on my podcast that there's a common theme that runs through my podcast. And that is that the most impactful, passionate, purpose-driven people aren't necessarily the most credential, but they've solved a problem in their life. And in solving that problem, they became really passionate about their purpose. And I feel like you fall neatly into that category, because I was unaware of your childhood background. And, you know, you grew up in the presence of an alcoholic father, which probably shaped your narrative around, you know, drug and alcohol addiction. It's over for 55 years. I've been at it during 55 years. I'm not. But could you walk us through that, because you describe your childhood as very chaotic, because sometimes violence, and there are periods of homelessness even. And I think when people look at the iconic figure today that's dulling out, usable advice, they don't realize, you know, where that empathy comes from. You know, I feel, I feel really blessed in many respects, because I feel like every life experience I've ever had has prepared me for what I'm now doing. I mean, I do. I think everything I've ever done has prepared me for that next level of what I was going to do. And because I've had a lot of different life experiences, I think it's put me in a position where I can relate to people from all walks of life. You know, I've got a bachelor's, master's, PhD, postdoctoral degree, all in psychology, clinical psychology, behavioral medicine, forensic psychology, and all. But what really I think has been a differentiator for me is I've, I have been poor. I have been without a home living on the streets. I have been in business. I have been in a lot of different walks of life. So when I encounter people from those different walks of life, I have some commonality with them. I can understand what their experiences have been. I've never been involved with drugs or alcohol, but I've lived with it. So when I meet people and I hear the excuses, I hear the justifications, I see the self-destructiveness, I recognize it because I lived with it, you know, growing up. I've lived with the chaos. I know what it does to their kids because I've been one of those kids. So I think that being through a lot of different experiences have really prepared me to help a lot of people from different experiences. When I was growing up, we moved every three years for one thing. So you're always the new kid. And when you live with an alcoholic father, there are certain things that other people don't even think about. Like you never bring friends home, ever, never. You don't ever bring a friend home from school because you don't know what you're going to find. You don't know if it's going to be chaotic, violent. All the windows are going to be kicked out. If the car is going to be in the front room or in the garage. You have no idea what you're going to find because you've found all of those things in the past. So you don't bring friends home because you're going to be embarrassed if you do. So you just live a completely different life. And you learn to depend on yourself really early on. And I had three sisters, two older and one younger. The two older were married 11 times between them. Wow. Yeah. And you think, how is that possible? Well, you start really early. And make a lot of mistakes. And both of them wound up married 30, 40 years in the end. But early on, they were, you know, getting married every time you turn around. So there was chaos and unpredictability. So you learn, I can remember as early as the fifth or sixth grade sitting on the curb thinking, I can't possibly be related to these people. Even if that young age, I thought these people are crazy. I can't possibly be related to these people. How far apart are you from your sister? Four years. I had one eight years older, four years older, one four years younger. And my little sister, with the only two still alive, we always said they had us in pairs. The two crazy ones and then the two normal ones. Well, you win. And you're still here making an impact. I'm still here. She's still here. And we both had very productive lives. The other two not so much. So, I mean, that ultimately wasn't what shaped you to go into mental health. I mean, that really began after your college football career is you. You know, I got, I got really focused on this when I was actually 12 years old, which is an odd time to kind of take a direction. But at 12 years old, I got focused on figuring out why people do what they do and don't do what they don't do. Because I was playing on a football team in Oklahoma City. And we were really good. Not nearly as good as we thought we were, but we were really good. And we had really flashy uniforms and great helmets. And we had a, we had a game that rained out. And so on a Saturday. And so on Monday, the coach said, we got a call from the Salvation Army. And they have a team. They won't know they'd come over and scream. He just says, "Scream each with us today on Monday." And so he said, "I told him, sure. So they're going to be here any minute now." And about that time, two or three pickup trucks pulled up at the curb. Back then, you could throw kids in the back and pick up and drive around. Apparently we didn't value the road. Yeah, as much as we did. We didn't value kids as much as we could. And he was throwing back at the truck. And a few fallout, that's no problem. But they fell out of those trucks. It looked like the grapes are rath. I remember the kid lined up across from me. He had blue jeans on and he rolled them up to the knees so they looked like football pins. Wow. And he had on loafers instead of football shoes. And he had the number four on his shirt, which was a button-up shirt over his shoulder pads. He had the number four on in masking tape. And we're snickering in the huddle like, "Why wouldn't he use magic marker?" That didn't come off. And we were so stupid. He didn't put it on in magic marker because that was his shirt. He had to wear that to school the next day. - All right. and tape and you know we're laughing and snickering and we didn't have a kickoff because it was just a scrimmage but they snapped that ball and that number four was lined up across from me and Gary that kid hit me so hard it still hurts when it rains. I mean that was 60 years ago. They beat us like they were clapping for a barn dance. I was a hundred to six. Oh my god no no that was in college. I have lots of failure. But they beat us something terrible. It was really. And I remember stumbling off that field and my dad was there to pick me up and I said what the hell happened? And he said well they just handed you your ass on the planners what happened? And I remember being so envious of those kids, the Salvation Army kids because I thought if they can do so much with so little they had no equipment they had nothing. I wanted what they had. They were hungry. They were motivated. They got a chance to play on grass. I was talking to one of them afterwards and he said yeah I don't want to like to play where there's not a manhole cover on the field. And I thought that's when it really got to me. I thought I really want to understand what makes people do what they do and don't do what they don't do. And I got really focused on motivation and what made people tick and that's when I really bought in to human functioning psychology and emotion. That's when it really triggered and I started reading stuff from that time forward. That's what led me to where I am today. Well first of all thank God there was no social media back then. I think the game would have been forever documented in the record. Yeah I did lose 100 to 6 in college when I was playing for University of Tulsa. Houston beat us 100 to 6. I was actually in the infirmary during that game but I was on that team. So yeah I've been beat a lot. And at some point in that career you sustained a pretty traumatic brain injury. Yeah I got a pretty good head injury playing football that ended my career. So I took up tennis. And you still play in tennis? Yeah I started college on a football scholarship and finished on a tennis scholarship. Yeah well I want to kind of drag this into where we are today because I think you know from the outside looking in at such a story career you behave more like a startup company than somebody who's had a decades long successful career. And I want to drill into that a little bit because I think you know there's some fascinating things about the human emotion and motivation and psychology that that really empower people to do things far beyond the norm. Like I'm always fascinated by athletes not that just broke a record but that sustained a level of performance over the duration of their entire career like the Michael Jordan's you know or Tiger Woods or you know the Lance Armstrong seven back to back to order Francis. I look at you the same way and I wonder how having the childhood that you did and then achieving what I think by any means would be the epitome of career success. How is it that now in your 70s managing type 2 diabetes which you also do with your wife she was diagnosed 2001 alongside you so I really want to hear what the kitchen's kitchens like because that's what my audience is going to want to hear. But after having such a successful career as an author as a TV personality the level of impact now in your 70s maybe busier than you've ever been with a media company and a book a year and starting a new show what is it that keeps that North Star for you? Well you know I feel like if you don't if you don't have passion in your life if there's not something you're really excited about that to me would be the worst possible existence. I can't even imagine waking up uh in a day and having no purpose, no passion, not having something that you feel like you need to do. And I just I don't think I measure myself worth as a function of what I achieve but I definitely feel like I live my life with intention and I'm a strong believer that you need to be who you are on purpose and you need to own it and and there are things that I'm passionate about and I see them happening and I know that I have something to contribute. I don't think I'm the be all end all. I'm not the repository of all knowledge and psychology or psychosocial functioning but I do think I have something to contribute and to see a problem and and not do anything about it to me is just unthinkable. I can't imagine that and I think the one of the keys to my success has been I try to solve problems nobody else is even working on. There are things that people ignore, deny, overlook or whatever that will jump out to me and I will I will see those things and I try to grab them by the horns and and address those like you know right now anxiety depression and loneliness are the highest they've ever been since records started being kept among our young people, school age people. That has to be dealt with. So many have to deal with that. Our educational system is not on the verge of collapse it is collapsing. I would agree with that. I mean a third of our high school graduates can't read at the most functional level but yet they're they're graduating from high school. How is that possible? I see these things happening and I think somebody has to call these things out and deal with them. So I see things that like I couldn't possibly have these awarenesses and sit home watching the drapes fade. That's just not who I am. Yeah. And first of all what do you mean by that and how do you grapple with that in your own life? Well you know we don't react to what happens in the world. We don't react to what happens in our life. We react to what we say to ourselves about what happens in life. It's it is purely a matter of what representations we make to ourselves about what happens. If something happens to us the worst thing ever in the world has happened then we're going to have a really oversized reaction to it. If we're in complete denial then we're going to run over the cliff over the edge of the cliff. We really have to listen and check ourselves to see if we're telling ourselves the truth and if what we're saying is rational is it true? Is it based on fact? Is it in our best interest? Does it get us what we want? Does it protect them for a long our lives? If we're not being rational with ourselves then we're our own worst enemy. So I think we have to monitor what we're telling ourselves because that's what we're reacting to and anxiety is a really exaggerated fear reaction in the absence of a clear and present danger. So if people are having anxiety in the absence of genuine threat then they're obviously telling themselves something that isn't true and I try to get people to challenge what they're saying so they can react in a rational way. And how do people begin to reframe their environment on their own independently? So these things come up during their day. How do you reframe what you're perceiving is happening to you? Are there any exercises that you could go through? Yeah I think those I think the four things about testing your own thinking is really important and and that's what I mean by saying you have to live with intention because if you get up and you're just reactive to what happens in your life instead of choosing what you do if you're doing what you're doing on Wednesday primarily because it's what you were doing on Tuesday and you do on Thursday what you do on Thursday primarily because it's what you did on Tuesday and Tuesday. Wednesday, as opposed to it being what you want to do on Thursday because you intentionally made the choice. This is who I want to be and what I want to do. Then you're just living reactively. You're in the river. You're just going with the flow. And I ask people to stop and think, am I really being who I want to be doing what I really want to do or am I just living an assigned life, what everybody else expects me to do? Because I think it's, I challenge everybody to star in their own life. If you don't star in your own life, who's going to? I mean, and I don't care if you're a plumber or a school teacher or you have your own television show or whatever, you got to star in your own life, which means it needs to focus on what you have to contribute because think about this. Now, you're Gary Brecha. There may be other people that share that name. There may be a Gary Brecha up in Idaho or somewhere else. I don't know. But there will never be another you in the history of the world up until now and after you're gone, there will never be another you. And I challenge people to ask themselves that. There will never be another you. This is it, one shot. And if people don't ask themselves that question, then this is not a dress rehearsal. This is it. And so you've got to decide, I'm going to be who I am on purpose. I'm going to do the things that I truly believe are important. And that gets a lot easier if you have children that you love and are passionate about or you have a career or something that you think is really meaningful. Sometimes if you're a bit lost and you don't know what you care about, then that's a steeper hilderclime. You need to find out what that is. Right. I feel very blessed because I believe that God's revealed His true purpose to me. And I purpose and my passion have greatly aligned. My family is on the journey with me. I love the team that's on the journey with me. We get daily reminders of the impact that we're making. But I get the question all the time about, I see what you mean about purpose and passion, but how do I know what my purpose is? How do I go out and find my purpose? What are some ways that I can internalize or review my own dialogue and figure out what my purpose is? Because for people that do uncover what that is, it reminds me of those signs that you're supposed to hang on your office wall that says, find something you love to do, you'll never work a day in your life. I thought that was horseshit for 28 years until my purpose was revealed to me. And now I know how truly meaningful that is. But for someone that's watching this podcast that identifies with what you're saying, how do they go about figuring out what their purpose is? I think you have to really start asking yourself what matters to you. And it really is kind of interviewing yourself like we're doing right now with you talking to me. I think you have to start asking yourself. And I think it's important to write things down. Not type them up on an iPad. Write them down. Because let me tell you, these things right here are crippling us. They are. They're really crippling us. It changes your brain when you actually write things down. And I think you have to, if you're looking for an answer, you've got to start asking the right questions. And some of those right questions are, what really matters to me? What am I willing to invest time, effort, energy in? What makes me feel fulfilled? We have lots of different, when you think about currency, most people think about money. But there are lots of different kinds of currency. There's monetary currency, psychological currency, spiritual currency, social currency. Yeah, there's all kinds of currency. And you have to ask yourself, what is your currency and what pays you off? What do you do? What do you work on? What do you achieve that gives you currency that matters to you? Makes you feel good. Makes you feel fulfilled. And how tragic it would be to spend your life and become the best accountant that ever existed, only to discover that isn't what you wanted to do. But what you wanted to do was be a farmer or a singer or a dancer or whatever, but you became the best accountant that ever was. You just didn't care about accounting. You've got to find that thing that really fills you up. And the way to do that is you have to start asking yourself questions, what matters to me? What do I feel good when I do? What do I feel fulfilled when I read about or address or participate in in some way? And if you don't start asking those questions, you're never going to get to the answers. If you just assume that what you're doing is just your lot in life and you don't ask the questions, you're not ever, ever going to get to any kind of real meaningful passion unless you just happen to be lucky. Unless you just happen to maybe your dad was a fisherman and you fish and you just love it. Then great. You hit the jackpot. You hit the jackpot. But if you aren't feeling fulfilled, you need to start asking yourself a lot of questions. What could I do? And you're going to kiss some frogs along the way. You are. You're going to try some things. Yeah, that ain't work. But what does? You will find what does. Yeah. And we've seen them all the time. We talk about failing fast and getting back on mission. Yeah, but if you fail, is that really failure or if you just crossed one thing off that you don't have to worry about anymore? That wasn't it. So did you fail or did you eliminate one thing? You know, that's the thing. Yeah, that's reframing. I find it. You do that a lot. You just sort of reframe the narrative so that you don't receive it the same way that most people would. Let me back up for a second and talk about what a day in the life of Dr. Phil looks like. Exercise, nutrition. I will say without revealing any of your medical information, you have managed your type to diabetes extraordinarily well based on what I see in the record. And there are long term manifestations that show that prove, and we'll talk about this on your podcast. But that proved that you have done a good job over a very long period of time. Markers that you can't fake, like telomeres and people have any one to see. So what it tells me is that you have some way of discipline that you apply to a daily routine because we are a culmination of our daily habits. So I already know that those daily habits are somewhat regimented and they're somewhat disciplined by your level of conditioning, your level of output, what I've seen in your labs, what I've seen in some of your other DNA testing. So what does that look like for you? What is it? Well, I'm kind of a creature of habit in that I make an appointment with myself every day for intentional exercise. I don't. The easiest person to break an appointment with is yourself. Oh, no question. Because you don't disappoint anybody else except yourself. But you record that though, you remember that. Yeah, you do. And start to not trust yourself. But I've made a commitment and I played tennis probably six or seven days a week at a really competitive level. I mean, the people, it's not hitting giggle tennis and it's not sit around and shoot the breeze. I mean, I come off the tennis board and I can ring my socks out. I mean, it's a. It's hard workout probably on average six days a week, sometimes it's seven, sometimes I play twice a day. And that's been really important to me because everybody in my family, everybody else in my family was morbidly obese. I got two nephews that are now dead that passed in their 50s that were over 500 pounds. My dad was obese. My mother was obese. My sisters were. Everybody. I had triplets that were five, four by five, two. They were almost perfect squares. But I hope for everybody in my family. And I just. I grew up in athletics and so I've always worked out and that was a great thing for me. I got in that habit real early and I just kept it up because that's one of my currencies. I enjoy it. It's my social life. It's my exercise, it's my decompression, it serves multiple purposes for me. I love how you say workout with intention. You set an appointment to workout with intention. There's a lot to unpack there because I think it's the way that we frame things to ourselves. You don't let yourself out of that commitment. I've got to tell you, there are some days that it's time to play and I just so don't feel like it. I mean, I just so don't feel like it. And I just make myself do it. And 10 minutes in, 15 minutes in, I feel good and I'm glad I'm there. Yeah, that happens to me all the time. I can barely get there. I can barely get out to the court and in the warm up I'm like, oh my God, kill me now. But then your blood gets flowing and you stretch out and everything and then you get going and you feel great. But I've learned that I have to, I don't do it when I feel like it. I just do it because I only did it when I felt like it. I'd probably do it a third of the time because I tape all day. I've taped in LA from two hours in the morning and fly here and then tape an interview here and then race and go to the court and I've got jet lag and I've been on camera four hours and all that. Never regret it. I still feel like it. But I do it anyway. And I just made that commitment to myself and I keep it. It's paid dividends for you. Yeah. And even if I've been out of town, Robyn will meet me at the door with my tennis stuff and say, you know, because she knows this is going to go a lot better if you get a workout in. I love that. My wife is the same way. So, Dr. Phil, I wind down all of my podcasts by asking my guests the same question and I'm really excited to hear your answer to this. There's no right or wrong answer to this question. But what does it mean to you to be an ultimate human? Yeah. I probably have a different answer because I'm in front of millions of people every day and I am a type 2 diabetic. And I think that if I can set a good example, I don't hold myself out to be a paragon of mental health or whatever. But I think if I can set a good example as a husband, as a father, as a Christian, as a contributor to society in some way, then I think I'm doing a good job. I think I'm doing a good thing. And I'm not perfect at any of those things. But I do them all with intention. I consciously think about what I'm doing and how I do it. And some days I do better than others in one area versus another. But I do live with intention and I think that's important. I don't like being reactive. I like being proactive. So I try to set a good example for whoever may be watching because I think I'm very fortunate to have a huge platform. And I think it's important to be a good steward of that. And I think as long as I'm a good steward of it, then I'm entitled to keep it. Dr. Phil, it's been an honor to have you on the Ultraman human podcast. I feel blessed to be a part of your wellness journey. And I hope you come back again so we can follow up. Well, I certainly hope we'll have a great follow up. Yeah, no, we will. All right, thank you so much. Thank you, everyone.