Down the Rabbit Hole

We asked for people to submit things that they want in Python or guidance on and man. Did you guys deliver? Okay. I'm a big fan, I've always wanted to ask you something. Okay. I fell in love with my best friend. I told him how I felt about him. I never heard of him since. There's nothing in these streets, it's all about being in these sheets, I'm telling you. My partner left their phone unlocked. I think this is my biggest fear I haven't even read the rest of her question. I could never pretend, I never saw it. I have to talk about everything. I would like you to discuss age gap relationships. Like I don't know what's a crazy age gap. That's crazy. That's crazy. I couldn't do it. Okay. That was nice and super easy. Poor girl. I do. I'd like to give myself good advice. Today on Chloe and Wonderland, we are doing a very new solo episode and it's called Down the Rabbit Hole. So basically, we asked for people to submit questions or stories that they have things that they want in Python or guidance on and man. We have tons. I'm going to read for the first time on camera with you guys and I will do my best to give advice or to hear your unhinged, amazing story and comment. So thank you guys for submitting. I'm really excited because this is new and I'm excited to try something new with you guys. My best friend is dating someone I really don't like. I've tried many times to spend time with him to get to know him because obviously I love my friend. But there's such an unwillingness to get to know me at all. Every time I'm around, he could not seem more disinterested. I'll ask him questions about himself and he won't ask me anything back or carry on the conversation besides what I initiate. This has been happening for over a year. Wow. I'm done trying but want to be happy for my friend. What else can I do and how do I bring it up to my friend that this upsets me? Okay. Next off, I think you're being such an amazing friend for trying and trying for over a year gold star. Could you talk with your friend and explain, like do it in a way where she doesn't feel attacked or that you're judging? I think it's more like, listen, you love your friends so so much and you want to be a part of this chapter in her life. But maybe ask for advice for her, say, like, what can I do for your boyfriend to like me more or want to engage with me more, want to make me feel included in this part of your life. I remember when Kim, one of her ex-husbands, I felt like we didn't connect. I would try and it would, I would always get shut down or it just didn't, it didn't work and it's really hard when you want to make it work for the person that you love but you also like, you don't really care to also give that much energy at the same time. I really do appreciate how much energy you're putting into this. This relationship with my sisters didn't last long so I'm, I lucked out in that way but also you don't want it to have to end in that way. So I think maybe go to your friend and just be open and honest and position it in a way that you're, you want to be more involved and be a better friend so like, what can you do? Sorry, you're going through that. I would like you to discuss or advise on age gap relationships. Oh, girl, I don't know. If you're happy and everyone's of consenting age, do your thing. Like, if you're not hurting anyone, everyone, like, I don't know what's a crazy age gap. 30 years. Yeah, 30 years is, that's crazy. I couldn't do it. I wouldn't date an 18-year-olds, I'm 41 but I also just think that's like, I wouldn't want to. Like, I, you know, I think some things are strange. When they are certain age, I think like once you're like 30, it's like, okay, it's like, the older you get, it just isn't that weird. But like the early 20s, I mean, that's, that's crazy to me. I'm trying to glow up hard right now, no sugar, 10k steps, early bed, 18 steps can care routine the whole thing. Now my friends say I'm boring because I won't go out late anymore, no drinking too. And won't split fries. Okay. How can I balance both worlds? I love my friends, but also want to prioritize myself too. So listen, if all those things make you happy, then that's what matters. Do I think there's some things that like are a lot, like an 18 steps can care routine for me. I could never sustain that. The expression you're, it's lonely at the top. That's because not everyone wants to take that journey with you. Not everyone has the willpower to grow and evolve. This is dedication. This is commitment. This is, it shows the integrity of you when you are solid to any plan. It's so much easier to give up. So many other people are giving up. And they like the distraction of drinking and being hung over. They like not having this schedule, no sugar, early bed, 18 step, skincare day. But they want someone else to do the riferafi stuff with them so they don't feel so isolated on that island. And what's crazy is then you, the one that's trying to glow up hard and better your life. Now you're the one that's lonely on this island, but stay lonely and get that tan on that island because girl, this is the way to be. And then when you want to pop out and have a great fun girls night or whatever you want to do, it's that much more fun. And you can still then get crazy blackout drunk if that's fun for you, but you just make it specialty times, like a few times a year or however much. But you're not missing anything. I am the most type A person ever. Hello, because of this, I became the person who plans every birthday, trip, dinner, etc. I'm tired. How do you gently retire from being the group's unpaid event coordinator without causing too many problems? That's a great question. So I remember when I was younger and I used to date, I would never tell anyone that I could cook or anything like that because I'm like, then they're going to ask me to cook. Like you only do it for special people. I think it's the same. Like you do the planning and the extra work when you really want to and eat to, but if you're going on a girls trip, someone like you guys each have to take turns. You can be like, I'll plan the dinners, someone book the hotel rooms, like whatever you want to do. I think whatever will make you still enjoy your trip or birthday or whatever, release the easiest piece to release first and then see how that person does, but trust me, everyone is capable. We just don't give people room to be capable because we are so controlling. I love that I'm saying we because I am you, you are me. I definitely need your advice. I'm on my senior year in high school and I'm in the midst of applying for colleges. It's hard whether to decide if I want to stay in California or go to college somewhere else, maybe Michigan, since that's where I'm from. What things would you take in mind when taking an important decision like this and what might you recommend for me? Oh my God. I have a lot of questions, so you're from Michigan, but where's your family? Like for me, family's everything, my support system, I lean on them all the time. I do think about moving outside of California, but I never could if my family didn't come with me. I know that's just not going to happen unless I can convince all of them too. It also, it's very personal. I don't know. Does your family live in California or back in Michigan? Does that matter to you by being in close proximity with them? Does it matter where your friends are going to college? Do you want that sense of community already? I don't know, do you want, I would take those, those would be like my top into consideration, and then sometimes people just need a break. Like do you really just want to start over and do something new and different? Like are you that type person? I like safety and comfort, and I need my family, and I would not be moving to another state. But that's just me. My question I would love advice on and think and hope, I wouldn't be the only one who needs this. But for someone who's struggling with self-confidence issues, I've had a tough few years and unfortunately my way of coping with a lot of traumas to binge eats. I'm slowly recovering, however I'm finding it hard to not always think about how I look and feel that my friends and everyone around me are always looking at me or my body and judging. I also am single and 31 and all my friends being slim and in relationships engaged or married and I feel like I won't find anyone unless I lose weight. I went through a bad breakup and feel extremely rejected. I also went on some dates and was then rejected. It's very hard to not think that it's about my appearance. I just need a bit of advice on how to deal with this. I am as of four months ago exercising and eating healthy, but I'm afraid of how much the thought of my weight is consuming me to the point where I'm anxious to go out in public. Well, I'm so. Sorry for you that you feel this burden of trying to emulate your friends or to have whatever this perfect body idea is in your head. I do relate to you though. When I was younger, I used to binge eat. I went to therapy about it. It was something like any emotional thing I turned to food and just there was no stopping me. I eat, eat, literally get sick, then feel disgusted with myself for how much I ate because it's like you're eating pizza or fries, it's horrible food, then feel disgusted with myself, then be in such a shame spiral that I start eating again because I'm in such shame. It was like this vicious cycle so I do understand that. It really took for me, so my divorce, it was really the catalyst to why I became obsessed in a healthy way with working out. I realized during my marriage that I ate so much and I would eat my feelings and I didn't like how that made me feel it, then turned into you know, you have bad skin and all these things that then as a ripple effect from eating so poorly. I was like, you know, I'm just, I'm over this, I'm over feeling this way, I'm over never feeling like I could be in a bathing suit, I compared myself to everyone, people compared me to my sisters, I've been there. And then something just sort of awakens inside of you that you're like, I don't want to live like this anymore. And I've never had a body type in my head that I wanted to have. I just knew I wanted to be toned one day or I wanted to be able, I think I always wanted to be able to show my stomach and like feel comfortable and be in a mid breath. And then the first six months at least of working out or torture and I started slow. I worked out two times a week by myself. I got a membership alone at Equinox because I was too embarrassed to work out with a trainer. And then even at the gym, I was convinced everyone was looking at me. They're not. Everyone's doing their own thing. And then I remember about six months in then I finally hired my own trainer and I liked my trainer because he had a gym that he only took one client at a time so I didn't feel so much shame. But I would say that the first six months to a year, it's just uncomfortable because you feel you're still insecure, you're busting your ass in the gym. You're not really seeing a big shift on the scale, but you've got to keep going. For me, it was mental that kept me going. I loved how I felt. I felt so accomplished that I did something I set out to do, but for me, it was baby steps. I didn't even think about diet yet. It was just about getting into the rhythm of working out all those little things. It sounds like you're doing way more than what I was doing so soon. You're eating healthier, exercising. I honestly feel that the more you exercise, the clearer your mind will feel and the stronger you will feel mentally. If you can, I think going to therapy is so helpful. I know it did wonders for me of feeling when I went through breakups and not feeling like myself feeling like people took a part of me away, going to a therapist and just sort of talking out your problems. You don't have to stay with one. Even if it's just two months of therapy, I really think that something is something and I think it's so helpful and you really start to get this closure on things and you start to get strength that you forgot you had. The comparing yourself to others, I really think that will go away the stronger you feel mentally, but I think you feel really broken down from probably the shame of the binge eating. I know that feeling because I've been there, the bad breakup, some of the dates where you feel rejected and these people might not think anything about you aesthetically. They might think you're the most beautiful person in the world, but if you don't feel that way about yourself, you're always going to think this is why people are quote rejecting you and quote. So I do think therapy and continuing the workout is really, really helpful and praying for you and I hate that you feel anxious to go out in public, but I honestly think that you're doing so, so great by exercising and eating well and I think it's just the beginning of you feeling good. Lately, I've been really into this idea that spring is basically your permission slip to reset, not in some dramatic way, but in those tiny little daily moments where you get to choose what feels good for you, how you show up, how you take care of yourself and how you move through your day. And one of those moments for me, Starbucks, it's one of those rituals that always feels familiar, but I also love that I can switch it up depending on my mood. Everyone knows my order is an extra hot, venti chai latte, whole milk, seven pumps chai, seven pumps classic, no water. Yes, it's very specific, but that's the point. I love that Starbucks lets you customize your drink to actually match how you're feeling that day. Now you can play with the sweetness and the chai spice however you want. Swap your milk, even at cold foam, if that's your vibe. It's literally designed so you can make it your own. Now that I can play around with the sweetness, my usual go to order might look a little different, but still it's totally me. One day I want it cozy and comforting, and other days I want to try something new. And I love that chai is the perfect starting point for that. You can keep it classic or tweak it until it feels like you're exact mood in a cup. I love how it's such a small thing, but it honestly turns a routine moment into something that feels personal. That's why I'm out this spring. Starting little moments of self-expression, even in something as simple as how I customize my drink, customize your chai your way at Starbucks. Order now on the app. You guys know I recently got a puppy, peppermint, and I'm not even going to pretend I'm normal about it. I fully accept that I've become one of those dog parents. The kind who takes way too many photos, talks to their dog like they're a person, and somehow she ends up having a better daily routine than I do. Peppermint already has multiple beds around the house, a rotation of toys, and honestly, I catch myself checking on her like she's a toddler. But if you're a dog parent, I feel like you get it. They really do become a part of the family. And if anyone understands that level of obsession, it's Oli. They're just as obsessed with your dog as you are. Oli makes fresh food for dogs that's developed by real chefs and backed by vet nutritionists. So you know your pup is getting high quality meals made with ingredients you can feel good about. And what I love is that everything is personalized to your dog. When you start, they create a plan based on your dog's needs and portion the meals just for you. It even comes with a pup tanner and a scoop, so feeding them is super easy. But Oli doesn't just stop at food. Through their app, you can actually check in on your dog's health with real vets. You upload a picture and their team can check things like your dog's weight, digestion, teeth, and coat. It's honestly such a great way to keep an eye on how your pup is doing. Get ready for both you and your pup to be obsessed. Head to Oli.com/Wonderland. Tell them all about your dog and use code Wonderland to get 60% off your welcome kit when you subscribe today. Plus, they offer an obsession guarantee. If you're not completely obsessed, you'll get your money back. That's O-L-L-I-E.com/Wonderland and enter code Wonderland to get 60% off your first box. Oli, feed the obsession. I truly admire the way you speak so openly about healing, boundaries, and rebuilding yourself after painful chapters. Your honesty has helped so many people feel seen and understood. Thank you. I'm currently pregnant and navigating a very complex emotional season. My partner and I have been together for 18 years and after a five-month separation, we're now working toward repair and rebuilding trust. During that break, he entered another relationship, which has added layers of grief, comparison, and triggers I didn't anticipate, especially as that person continued reaching out even after he ended things and shared indirect posts on social media. I'm doing the work, but pregnancy has amplified everything. I find myself managing constant triggers, hyper-vigilance, and the challenge of learning how to feel safe again while also trying to protect my peace and prepare for this next chapter of motherhood. I would truly value your perspective on rebuilding trust after betrayal, navigating forgiveness without minimizing your pain and staying grounded when past wounds resurface. If this is something you'd feel comfortable discussing on your podcast, I would be honored. I know many women, especially mothers, would deeply relate to this kind of experience. One, very beautifully written. Thank you for that. Two, I'm sorry for everything you're going through. I know pregnancy is one of the most special times of any woman's life, and so to have these extra layers of emotion and burden and stress, I'm really sorry, you're going through all that. And we'll say from reading what you wrote, the positive is you guys were on a break, so it sounds like he didn't betray you from what I'm reading. That does not take away. how it feels now that you guys are back together. But I think if you can put in your head that this was like no wrong was done on his part, maybe anger towards him would diminish a little bit, it's really hard. I think it's totally natural to be jealous, have these thoughts of like I remember when I would get back with people. And if they would kiss me, all I would think about is like, well, how was it kissing her? Like your brain just sort of like those back into that place and it's so unhealthy. And it's hard. I think the best advice I can give you is if you're going to get back with someone and that's your choice. You definitely don't have to minimize your pain. You shouldn't. But you need to forgive if that this is your choice. Don't forget you both need to have very open raw and honest conversations with one another. That's the only way the only way to get through something is to actually go through it. So you have to go through these feelings. You have to go right to the eye of the storm and have these very real and raw and very uncomfortable conversations. Hopefully without a ton of emotion involved, meaning like screaming and all that, you guys could hear one another. No one is hearing one another when we're yelling and calling people names. So I think and this might be a conversation that happens many times. And that's okay. And if you need to do this with couples therapy, I think that's beautiful because that person would be more like your referee. So you guys can talk. And also if you do all this work and you still feel not safe in your relationship, like emotionally, if you feel that you're constantly looking over your shoulder, maybe you have to reconsider and say, say that this person served a purpose in my life, he gave me this beautiful baby. We've been together for 18 years. I know he's an amazing father and partner. But if you don't feel safe if this is something you can't get over, then you do have to be honest with yourself. But I think every relationship that involves a child specifically deserves a really strong fighting chance. I really, really do. And I think at the end, if it doesn't work out, at least you guys would have great respect for one another and know that you guys are just going to be awesome co-parents. My friend got into a relationship and now I barely see her. I don't think I'm jealous, but I'm suddenly very aware of how often she says we instead of I. How do you support your friend's relationship without feeling quietly replaced? The tough truths about growing up. I don't know how old you are. I do think the older you get, the more you experience this with your friends. And even for me, I think there's this honeymoon stage in every relationship. And probably when I was younger, I used to be jealous of it or like that's my friend. Like you just have this possessiveness and you would maybe tease your friend or whatnot, like, oh, you don't hang out with me anymore. But then the older you get, you're like, no, that's what you want for your friend. The point of life is to yes, have your circle of friends and keep that circle. And you do learn how to balance it when you become older. But there is a stage in life that you aren't good at balancing it. And that's what this pain, it's like growing pains of life comes from. But I think with you expressing yourself and in a way that doesn't feel attacking or jealous, I think there's a way to say I would love to have a girl's night once a week, once a month, whatever, whatever you want. I think you saying that to your friend is beautiful. And your friend might love to hear that. You don't even have to bring up the boyfriend because it's more your girlfriend needs to know how to do the balancing a little bit more. But then the older you get, you do have so much more grace for people that are in new relationships and that they are in their honeymoon stage and that they are hoping this will turn into their fiance one day and then their husband. And you want to encourage that chapter in all of our lives. And the beauty of life is learning that balance. I'm a big fan and I've always wanted to ask you something. As someone who has been to university, what advice would you give to a 20-year-old student? Sometimes I feel like I haven't accomplished much yet and there's this pressure about succeeding and worrying about the future. I'm not sure if you ever experienced something similar. I'd really love to know how you manage the stage that stage of your life and did you feel pressure when making decisions about your future? If so, how did you handle it? Oh my gosh. I think I feel those pressures now and I'm 41. I will say I think it's unfair how society makes 20-year-olds feel because now that I'm in my 40s, like you're a baby. I got married at 24. I loved that chapter in my life, but in hindsight, I'm like what? A baby. Like I can't believe I made such an adult decision and did something so grown. It's crazy in hindsight. And I think the same thing in your 20s. I think your 20s are made for figuring it out, not really knowing what you're doing, but that's the beauty of having a beautiful family and hopefully a great support system that will be there to catch you when you fall. Just be there to help guide you and navigate you. I don't, I know, you don't have to have it all figured out. Ever? But specifically in your 20s. I really think your 20s are made for experimenting, figuring out what makes your heart happy. If you're one of the lucky ones that knows and you move on with your life and you can get married in your 20s and you know your career, beautiful. But there's definitely, there's no race. Like no one gets anything at the end of this. Like we all are just trying to live and create these happy lives for ourselves. But I really do think the 20s are your time to try new jobs, see what you want to do career wise, maybe start dating people more seriously. And then I think your 30s, if you can hone in on that career more, I think that's beautiful. If you're younger than that, then great that you got that. But still, I think we have so much time that we don't really realize so many people don't have it figured out. I love my mom always says, keeping up a changed how people perceived her as a business woman, it changed in so many ways from my mom. And that was in her 40s. And so, and that wasn't something that in her 20s, she thought she was ever going to do. She's lived so many different lives. And it's the beauty of Christian or it really, really is. So I think just don't be that hard on yourself. But I get it. Society and outside noise. But just try to have a beautiful happy life. What's meant for you will always find you no matter what. I want to feel confident, strong, and hot here here. Me too. I also want snacks that night. Me too. And to lie on the couch. Me too. Can both exist? Is balance real or a myth invented by people who love salads? Love you. Love you too. Oh no, no, no. I am the queen of balance. I work out and work my ass off in the gym. But I love crap food. Like a milkshake. Yes. Chicken fingers and french fries. Hell yes. Pizza. Fuck yes. Like I am so that girl. And then of course, I'll balance it with like fruit, veggie, whatever. Like moderation. And I really do that just because I feel like I have to. And I do love salads. But my heart is on the children's menu and I do that. I do that quite often. Definitely if I never had to leave my bed, then I would never leave my bed. I would be terrified if I didn't have kids because I would just probably I read this news story that someone literally like melted into their couch because they they never left. That would be me. So thank God for the kids. I think I'm on a totally different tangent now. But yes, I think if for me at least my body type when I was at the beginning of my health journey and I had certain goals for myself, no, I couldn't eat like the beast that I can eat now. But now that I'm at a place that I feel really good about myself and I I still work out five days a week. But now I eat literally sort of whatever I want. In moderation, I still have the good stuff. I'm not eating every meal is not junk. But I'll pick probably one and I do that. So it just depends where you are. But I think if you are working out, you can eat whatever you want if you're at the place that you like. And then I know like if I have a photo shoot or something, then I'll like I'll get it together and I'll control myself. But typically I live a very balanced life. And I need to be happy. So yeah, I'm going to. You're also really not like finishing like your portions are. Yeah, I'm not a big portion girl, but I I'm a consistently snack person. So like I love it handful of this, a handful of that. But like through the whole day, like I call myself a grazer because I would rather graze throughout the day than sit and have a big ass meal for lunch. I just don't like the way I feel and I just love hand, like it's like the hand of mouth thing. I can't help myself. My partner left their phone unlocked in a group chat popped up. Oh my god, I think this is my biggest fear. I haven't even read the rest of her question. I didn't go digging, but I saw enough to really. their friends do not like me. Nothing crazy, just little comments. Do I pretend I never saw it, or is this something you actually talk about? Okay, so I get this. I am someone I don't go through phones. You're just always going to find something that you're going to need to ask a question about. So I don't look. What is meant for me will always find me. Every single thing that I have found out about with X men of mine, they have fallen into my lap. I do not search. They just come my way. My point in saying that is I relate to this. So you didn't look, which is good. But I feel like if it's this innocent, you can just say that. And I will also say that a group chat, if anyone saw my group chat messages, they are dark and we go low at times. Like we just, you talk open shit about no one is safe. No one is safe. But that's like the beauty of a group chat. Do we mean everything we say? No, you're just like on a rant, freely talking shit. But I will say that now this is going to make you uncomfortable. Now you know something that you probably wish you didn't. If it's that innocent, just say it to your boyfriend. Like your phone was unlocked. I saw your group chat. I wasn't deliberately digging anything. But now I can't unsee this. Let's talk about it. I could never pretend I never saw it. I'm just not built that way. You guys know how intentional I am about what I eat, especially when it comes to protein. So when my friends at goodranchors.com informed me that over 85% of grass-fed beef in stores is imported, I was shocked. Because I think a lot of us assume we are buying local. We assume we're supporting American farms and that the labels mean what they imply. But that's just not the case. And that's what made good ranchers stand out to me. This company was started by a husband and a wife who just wanted better food for their own kids. After realizing how broken the American food system is, they decided to fix it themselves. At good ranchers, they source all their meat from local farms and ranches in America. And then they deliver it right to your door, making it easier than ever to get access to high-quality American meat. I personally love their chicken and wild-cut seafood. The quality is incredible. No added hormones, no antibiotics. Everything is responsibly sourced. And my favorite thing about them is that they were the first people to create the world's first seed oil-free chicken nuggets. And when you buy from good ranchers, you're not just getting better meat. You're standing with American farmers, ranchers, and families who've been feeding this country for generations. I'm actually a good rancher subscriber myself and I love how easy it is to manage my orders. When life gets busy or I'm traveling, I can pause or move my order in just a few clicks. It's simple, flexible, and actually built around your schedule. To get the kind of high-quality 100% American meat you can't just find in the grocery store anymore, visit goodranchers.com today. When you start your plan, you'll get to choose a cut of meat that'll be included for free with every order. And you'll get $25 off your first order by using my exclusive code Chloe. That's Chloe for $25 off your first order and free meat in every order. Goodranchers.com American Meat Delivered. Here's my story. I need some advice. I fell in love with my best friend and it's ruining my life. It all started like fun and games and we were touchy and flirty but in a very innocent way. Turns out I was feeling more than just a friendship. Fast-forward things started to get even more flirtatious as kisses began. All in a friendly way. I don't even know what that means, all in a friendly way. Nonetheless, it was more obvious by the day how badly I wanted it not being friendly. What does that mean, friendly kisses? I'm dying. We planned a trip to another country with some of my friends and my best friend and by the end of the trip I gained all the courage I could and told him how I felt about him. This happened last September 2025 and it wasn't until November that he replied back and said he didn't feel the same way but that he still loves me and wants things to be as they were. Now I'm torn apart because I don't know if he loves me or not because I was left dead silent for two months eating my feelings apart and he didn't even mind to check how I was doing. What should I do? I am the one ghosting him now because I really don't know if he cares about me enough or even if I care about him now. I know you are the one to ask for help. Well, baby, he doesn't love you. He says he loves you because he's put in this awkward position and I'm sure he's still like a nice guy and loves you probably as a friend but nothing more than that. If he did, then he would have told you but he's told you that he doesn't feel the same way that he loves you. I just think he's being nice and saying that. I mean, actions speak louder than words. If he loved you, he would be all for it. You guys are clearly flirty. You've given him all the signs, all the energy like come and get it and he didn't come and get it. So I think you've gone this far by dealing with the grief because now you've lost someone that you considered your best friend and someone that you were romantically looking forward to. So you've already dealt with the hardest part which is trying to get over that. Don't go back in. Trust what the universe is showing you. My partner is amazing in every way except gifts like impressively bad. I don't care about expensive stuff. I just want thoughtfulness. How do you teach someone how to be better at this without sounding ungrateful? That's a tough one. That is hard. I love gift giving. But that's one of my love languages is giving to other people. I love it. It's not everyone's gift. Not everyone has that ability and I really try to give someone a gift that I either would want for myself. But normally, I like to know that person because not everyone let's just say if I want a Chanel bag. Not everyone cares about that stuff. So I don't try to just an expensive gift doesn't really matter. The more thoughtful that person never forgets that. You teach people how to treat you. So you either teach him how to treat you by you getting him thoughtful gifts and hoping he'll get the memo. And even when he opens it, if he's like, oh, this was so great and you you guys have to like talk about it a little bit. So it's a registering. Oh, okay. Like this is the direction I should go. I think what like me and my friends do, we tell someone on his side. Like it could be his best friend. Like you steer the friend and the right. Like doesn't even have to be you. It could be one of your besties is talking to his bestie. Like you know what Chloe would really like for her birthday? This candle and a massage. Like and it's coming straight from the horse's mouth, but you're like giving them a little to make it easier for them. In my opinion, someone's spending their hard earned money. That person wants you to enjoy it. They're not getting you a gift because they don't want you enjoy it. I think people would like a little guidance. I'm jealous of my friend. She has a new relationship, new job and is so pretty. I'm happy for her, but also low-key comparing myself and feeling behind. How do you stop yourself from doing that when someone close to you is really in a shining chapter? Great question. So I used to feel like this with my sisters when I was really young. And then I realized, no, I'm not really jealous. I'm more like, damn, I want that too. Like not in an envious way, in a motivational way. But I had to learn what those feelings were. This was when I was really young and I had to learn, oh, because I would feel so guilty that I would think I was jealous because I'm happy for my family. Like we all are. And so once I really put everything into perspective, like, well, no, because would I want to take that from my sister? Like would you want to take all those things from your best friend and have her have nothing? No. I mean, I wouldn't from my sister is like, I start once I started really laying it all out there. I was like, okay, so I'm not jealous because I don't want me to have it and them not to. I want us all to win together. So let me take these feelings and reposition it and use it as motivation and like, okay, I'm going to hustle. I'm going to get my shit together. I'm going to be on this glow up. I'm going to do whatever your goal is or whatever you want that someone else has don't be jealous. Use that as fuel. Use that as motivation and be so happy for that other person because that is truly when you all win is when you can find such happiness and be that cheerleader. Like I am fucking rooting for everyone in my life all the time. So I think it's really just repositioning the way that you see it because life is all about perception. Life is all about the angle in which you view something in. I tragically lost my father 10 months ago. He tragically fell off the back of a golf cart. I've been in the depths of grief. I found your last podcast with the medium so helpful and comforting, especially when she spoke about the woman's father dying tragically. How did you cope at such a young age? I'm 32 and I've found it to be such a profound emotional rollercoaster. I can't fathom going through this at such a young age. Do you still find yourself experiencing or reliving those early days? Does it feel so far away or like yesterday? Time has become so warped to me. Thank you for your vulnerability and sharing so many personal moments with your audience. I am so, so sorry for the loss of your father. Listen, losing anyone, specifically a parent, you never get over it. You never, it's never okay. You never not feel the great loss of them, but every day you do become stronger and stronger. I would say the first three years after my dad died, I was horrific. I was horrible, emotional outbursts, crying all the time, mean, nothing good. It was bad, bad, bad. And then eventually you do become stronger. You never forget, like for me, every single day, I think about my dad, but every single day I talk to my dad. Like I talk to him like he's still here. I love speaking to him. I love to believe that he's watching over me and my kids. I love to believe that all of this is possible because he's one of my guardian angels guiding me through life. And I genuinely believe that. I think you and I both, like feel robbed. I see people that have their parents in their 90s and I'm like, oh God, like I wish I had that. I wish I was able to introduce my kids to my dad. Like I have all these things that I wish for. And that's normal. And you should have, you don't have to be angry, but you should have those feelings or allow to have those feelings. It's human to have them. I promise you it gets easier. I think the more you talk about it, the more that you continuously keep your father's memory alive, it's so special. And it's so beautiful. At first, if I spoke about my dad, my voice would crack. And I would be on the verge of tears. For no, like I wouldn't even know why. And I just could not say his name. I could not talk about him. And then I would try to because I wanted to talk about him. I didn't want to pretend like he didn't exist. I didn't want to pretend that he was on this band list. And so I would talk about him. And I would finally get through those tears. I would get through that feeling. And I'm able to talk about him as if I was with him yesterday. And it's beautiful. And it gives me so much comfort. So I know it seems like forever. Give yourself time. Give yourself grace. There's no straight line with grieving. You will go up, you will go down. And also in 10 years, you might have a day that you are sobbing your eyes out, missing your dad. And that's okay. If anyone tells you it's been 10 years, get over it. Fuck that person. There's no right or wrong with grief. And there's no straight line. All this grief is because you had so much love. You wouldn't feel this way if you didn't experience that depth of love. So if you position it that way, I had my dad for 19 years. I was robbed of a father. I really was. But some people have a father for literally 100 years. That's a piece of shit human being. And I'm able to say, my 19 years were short. I had the best fucking dad. The best memory is the best morals and all these things that are instilled in me. I'm so grateful for. And so a lot of it, again, is perspective or how we position things. And I think in anything, there's light and there's positivity. Not all the time do we want to see it. You might be like, shut the fuck up with your positive crap. But also go through the grief. Again, you have to order to get out of something. You have to go through it. You have to go straight through it, feel all the feelings, do what you got to do. Also want to get to the other side. Don't want to sit in that dark place. 'Cause life is beautiful. And you will see your dad in almost everything you do if you want to look for him. I want to be kept anonymous. My sister slept with an ex-situationship of mine. OK. I've always been extremely close to her and have trusted her more than anyone, of course. I want to forgive her because I'm a Christian. I feel like I have been forgiven more than I deserve. She's apologized and I know she regrets her actions. We've gone into normal dramatic sister arguments before, but this feels different. I don't feel in control of the emotions. I'm feeling towards her, discussed and hate. And I want nothing more than to get back to how things used to be. She did this years ago, but I'm just now finding out about it. It has less to do with the man and more about my sister betraying me. She's held onto this secret for so many years. She knew nothing about this man aside from the fact that I had been seeing him. I normally have answers. Navigating this has me so lost. Well, that's definitely a tough one. And I get it. It's not really about the man. It's more about the action. And I would say probably more about that she's kept a secret for years. Because that feels pretty shitty and that sucks. I think, as in men come, they go, it is what it is. That would hurt me too. More of the lying and keeping the secret. So for me, not that I want you or myself to ever be dormant, not at all. I think it's your sister. You have to forgive your sister. Doesn't mean you need to forget. And doesn't mean that your feelings need to be minimized in any sort of way. But the life you and your sister are going to have with one another is far exceeds the act that was done. And we all make mistakes. I don't know how old she was when she did this. But I think that does play a factor as well. And I think you will really regret later in life if you don't try to make amends with your sister. Because there's nothing like a sister. She knows what she did was wrong. She feels great remorse about it. But you guys also have to have really honest conversations about this. So you're not treated like, oh, she forgave me. I could do something else. You would never forgive. I'm assuming someone else for this. But your sister, it's different. There are different rules. But you also want your sister to have great respect for you. And it's depending on age, but it's almost as if she didn't have great respect for herself. And that's why she did something like that. And so maybe your sister not making excuses at all, but maybe she was going through something really rough in her life to do something like that. Because that's a lot for a sibling to do. But I want you to know that your heart's in the right place. You are wanting to forgive. It's just hard for you. But again, I really do think the more you talk it through, and you set the tone. And I forgive you, you're my sister. I love you. But this was wrong. X, Y, and Z. And you guys go through the whole list. And you guys talk about it, but talk. No screaming, no yelling. Really try to listen to one another. Maybe ask her, why would you do that? And why-- like, you know why she kept it a secret. Because she was humiliated. You only are keeping a secret about something because you're embarrassed. I think there's a lot of conversations that need to happen here. But I honestly think once you have them, I do think your relationship will be much better. You never have to forget. I do think it's the right thing to do is to forgive and to have the really hard talks. I absolutely loved doing this down the rabbit hole podcast with you guys. These questions were so good, so vulnerable. I'm so, so grateful that you guys wrote your hearts out truly. And I really hope I'm doing you all justice with my answers. Again, I'm just doing what I think is best. I am definitely not a therapist in any way. But I do really-- I honor that you guys are trusting me with such personal information. And so I'm so, so, so grateful. Thank you so much. And I can't wait to do this again with you guys. You know what Wednesdays are for. And that's wonderful.