Doomscrolling & Procrastination is Ruining The Life You Could Be Living

[Music] Hello my love, welcome to the Busy at Pretty Podcast. I'm your host, Jaden Haley. If you're new here, welcome. We talk all about how to become the best version of you, live your dream life, and honestly just master a routine in the lifestyle that you love. So it makes you excited to wake up in the morning and live your life. With that said, this episode is the perfect episode for honestly the majority of people on this earth because we all do it. We do 'em scroll. We procrastinate and it's time to get up and stop doing that because let me just be honest with you, it's holding you back. And there's so many things how you can do to change and implement into your life. But most importantly, this episode is going to be more of a motivational based episode. Of course, I will have some ideas in there how to stop and what to replace that doom scrolling with. But majority of this episode is going to be a very motivational episode in the way of I'm telling you to get up and get motivated. A lot of my other episodes are more ideas. I talk about solo hobbies like my last episode and just things that are like ideas that you can do for yourself. But like I said, I'm in the mood to just be motivational towards you and just encourage you to start living your life. So we'll get straight into this episode. But first we have to do our weekly review. This week I have been planning my fancy Nancy feminine spring birthday party. And this has just been a party that I absolutely loved planning. Even though I did it very last minute, it has been something that I just have loved because it is just so colorful, spring. And if you know me, I love a good pastel and a good spring coated feel. And that's what it is. I'm just trying to lean into that. And it just makes me excited for the new season. I'm going to share a lot of videos of my TikTok and Instagram of my fun fancy Nancy style party. So stay tuned for that. And then when it comes to another thing I've been doing this week is I have been hour by hour scheduling my schedule of the day. It has been so helpful to time block. I usually just more to schedule mine to do. But it's so much easier to follow a time block schedule. So I really recommend you trying to do that if you haven't already. I'm telling you it's going to leave you being so much more productive. Lastly, this week I have been just trying to tackle five to 10 minute task as soon as they come into my face rather than putting them off. And that's another thing to practice with procrastination is start doing your task as they come. There is a task on your schedule or on your to do list that takes under 10 minutes. Do it when it's right in front of you instead of putting it off because then you're going to have tons of added up task that could have taken just minutes for you to do. And then you're going to have minutes for you to do earlier in the day. Now at the end of the day or you just keep putting it off months like there are things I put off before that were five to 10 minute tasks. Then like why did I just not do it months ago and I just kept rescheduling it in my calendar day after day. And it really is just that much easier to get it done. And it's really just making it such a bigger deal when you keep putting it off. Rescheduling it and procrastinating it now into my curb sessions. And perhaps I should at the moment is my pastel color coded Google calendar that I did. I love all things pastel color coordinated. So I made it a very like strawberry matcha themed Google calendar color theme. And it came out so cute. Let me know if you want to tutorial on that because I will definitely post one and show you how I did it. But it is literally so cute. And it just makes me excited to go on my calendar. And the prep session right now is fresh spring air. There's nothing like opening your windows or just putting your head out the window while you're in the passenger seat and just smelling that fresh air of the spring flowers. And just the just the clarity of it being spring. I love that so much. Another prep session right now is coconut water smoothies. If you have not tried the harmless harvest coconut smoothie, you are missing out. It is literally the best drink I've ever had other than matcha. So I'll mix it with espresso. I haven't done it with matcha yet, but it is just truly so amazing. And they're just so easy to bring on the go. Now onto my goal of the week. My goal of the week right now is to plan my birthday. So my birthday is tomorrow actually. And I'm so excited. But I want to plan a fun little girl's day with my mom. So I need to figure that out and see what I want to do. Another goal of the week right now is to schedule crafting time. When my fever so little hobbies are crafting, I just love doing any type of crafts. It's so funny. I remember when I was younger, I just sat and enjoyed crafts and didn't want to do anything during the day. But that I would take like feathers onto magnets and I would just cut out different shapes like I just loved crafting. And I definitely carried on to my adulthood. But I would love to start doing more crafts or I'm just scheduling it out and doing it more kind of like a date with myself. Lastly, my goal of the week right now is to stretch more often between working. I sometimes will get stiff from just sitting all day working. And I think it's very important to stretch as well as doing it early in the morning when you wake up. When you wake up before you go to bed, just having a nice stretch can just start and end your day on such a positive note. Now into your affirmation of the week. I'm leaving behind habits that are holding me back from living the life that I deserve. I love that so much because there are so many habits and things in our lifestyle that we don't realize is truly holding us back from being to where we want to be. So I think that's such a good affirmation to affirm to yourself. Now when it comes to yourself of question of the week, what will I do for myself today that moves me closer to where I want to be? I love that question because it's so important to focus on small actions and daily things that you can do that just add up over time again. We're not into the other nothing mindset. So we're doing little things that are going to get us closer to where we want to be consistency over perfection always win. So it's very to have little things that add up to progress, then having no progress at all. Now into the podcast review. If you want to be featured on next week's episode, make sure to leave a podcast review over Apple podcasts and leave a rating over Spotify. This podcast review is from Rin and Rin said, I have been listening to this podcast for a while now. I started off by being very scared and anxious and not confident and I had body image issues. Listening to your podcast has gotten me hyped to be the person I want to be and taking care of myself more. I could have been where I am now without you, Jaden. Thank you. Thank you so much, Rin and I am so unbelievably proud of you. I'm so glad I was able to help you on your journey, but really you did all the progress and all the work so you should be so proud of yourself. With that being said, it's time to get into today's episode. Doom scrolling and procrastination is ruining the life you could be living. One of the most silent, quiet ways people can ruin their lives is doom scrolling and procrastination because it's not like a dramatic mistake where you bet on something or you messed up and you failed in your eyes and stuff where it was a big, hard thing that happened in your life. It's more of small daily habits of doing those unhealthy things that are going to add up like I said, it's better to have a little progress, the no progress at all. All the things you do every day, the little things add up and end result. So are the little things you're doing during the day, something positive drawing you closer to your goals or is it something negative? Don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with doom scrolling and nothing wrong with procrastinating. We all do it. Like I love getting in bed on a Friday night and just scrolling on my phone and putting on TV and procrastinating things I have to do. Like I will do that and we all do that. But there comes to a point where that's our every day and those little unhealthy habits are going to add up and the end where we're going to think, oh my gosh, look at all this time I wasted that I could have been doing and living a life that I really wanted. Because doom scrolling and procrastination are simply two things they're going to hold you back from being where you want to be which is close and meeting your goals. It's so easy to have hours of doom scrolling and saying I'll start tomorrow or I'll start today and then you never do. I don't think you understand how life slowly passes you by while you stay in the same routine. In order to change, evolve and grow, you have to start making these changes in order to benefit you. Again, it's going to make you uncomfortable but you have to be uncomfortable to grow. Let me tell you anybody me, you, your friend, we're all going to want to just sit home, do nothing in doom scroll and waste our weekend away. But I'm not telling you to get up and go move towards your goals, even getting up and going outside, getting fresh air, doing a hobby. All those things are somewhat beneficial to your mind, body, your soul, your career, whatever it is. But I can guarantee you watching somebody off of a screen, a blue light screen, watching someone's life, wishing that was your life and doing nothing with your time is not healthy or beneficial for you. I want you to benefit in some way, mind, body, soul, career, whatever it is, I want you to benefit in some way. And I guarantee you sitting all day in doom scrolling or procrastinating things you have to do is not healthy for you. Not only that, we're doom scrolling, I kid you not, I bet you cannot remember the last 10 videos you watched. Can you literally I cannot I kid you not when I go on my phone and stuff nice scroll. I can remember maybe one I watched that day I cannot even name more than two videos I watched that day because it's so quick our brains are just flying through videos do very short term attention spans and that's okay. That's normal. It's human nature, but we can't keep doing that to our attention span and putting it towards something that's leaving us stuck in the same position that we're at. (gentle music) And maybe for you, reinventing and rebranding your life may be starting a business. And I know you have an idea that's deep in your brain that you have been wanting to start a business with or maybe you already have a business and you're just trying to get it up and running better, trying to get more of an audience and just trying to manage your business better. Because let's be honest, it can be definitely hard to manage a business on your own, especially if you don't have the tools. And that is why I love Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world, in 10% of all of you commerce in the US, from household names like Mattel to Jim Shark, so brands just getting started. I also love how they have tools for marketing because it is so important to get your business out there and they have so many templates to build your online store. It's honestly beautiful how easy it is to start and run a business that it was years ago. It used to be so hard and now it's so easy with Shopify because there's so many tools on their platform that can help you. They can help you at any stage of your business. It's time to turn those what ifs into with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com/busy@pretty. Go to shopify.com/busy@pretty. That's shopify.com/busy@pretty. I'm telling you if there's any time you should be taking your business to the next level or starting your business, it's while we're having this rebrand and reinventing our life. [Music] And maybe for you, reinventing and rebranding your life may be starting a business and I know you have an idea that's deep in your brain that you have been wanting to start a business with or maybe you already have a business and you're just trying to get it up and running better, trying to get more of an audience and just trying to manage your business better. Because let's be honest, it can be hard to manage a business on your own, especially if you don't have the tools. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world, in 10% of all of e-commerce in the US, from household names like Mattel, Jim Shark, and so brands just getting started. It's honestly beautiful how easy it is to start and run a business than it was years ago. It's time to turn those "what ifs" into "what ifs" with Shopify today. I think self-awareness is one of the best things when it comes to procrastination and doom scrolling. Understanding why you're doing what you are. Are you getting on your phone end of the evening after work and you have your pajamas on, your comfy bed and your scrolling on your phone because you actually just want to enjoy some TikToks, enjoy going on Instagram or is it midway through the day while you're supposed to be working and you're scrolling and scrolling to avoid tasks that you're having to do. There's a difference between intentionally scrolling and going on your phone and social media and there's also a difference between intentionally putting something off that's a task to later to rearrange your schedule for a personal reason or for a work reason rather than actually putting it off because you simply don't want to do it. And I know it's so easy to wake up in the morning and think, "Oh, I was supposed to go to the gym today, but maybe I don't really feel good. Maybe it's, you know, maybe my finger kind of hurts. What is your reasoning and excuse?" And that's the hardest thing is we're going to have so many excuses in our life. Trust me, I'm full of them. Many people are. We all have excuses for things that we don't want to do, but in the end, it's only hurting ourselves. It's not hurting anybody else but ourselves. And you deserve to not have to always make excuses for yourself. You deserve to put the effort in and get the results you deserve. Doom scrolling is designed to trap you. Social media, doom scrolling, all of that, it never ends. You can endlessly, for your entire life, keep scrolling. It will never stop. It will never stop. When you're on TikTok and you're scrolling or Instagram on Reels, when you scroll, there's no destination. And the point is with the endless scrolling, it's dopamine. You know, you're seeing one thing after another and it's, you know, it's making you feel happy. It's making you excited and you're just looking at it and seeing all that content. Non-stop. It makes you feel like you're doing something, but in reality, you're only just consuming. I'm going to say that again. You think you're doing something, getting those emotions while you're doom scrolling. But in reality, you're only consuming. You're watching other people live their lives instead of living your own. And I'm not saying at all, get off social media forever. That is the last thing I'm saying. I am a scroller and I can't help it. I love to scroll. I love seeing other people's lives. I love watching vlogs. I love seeing inspo for things that are going to help benefit my life. But again, it's you have to reflect and be intentional and think, am I being intentional while scrolling right now? Am I being intentional about the tasks that I'm putting off to do tomorrow? Am I being intentional about it or am I trying to cover something up, put a bandaid on it, and put it off for later? When it comes to procrastination, procrastination is usually fear. It's not even laziness. It's the fear of starting, the fear of failing, the fear of imperfection. You may be procrastinating the littlest task or you may be procrastinating, starting your biggest journey of starting a business. Whatever it is, you're just waiting for the perfect moment and the perfect motivation and let me remind you that perfect feeling will never come. It never does. I promise you, I almost didn't start this podcast when I did. I remember thinking, well, maybe I should wait until a different time because I don't know, maybe it's just not ready yet. Instead I got my mic. I started recording and look at my podcast. It hasn't left the charts of Spotify and Education since I started it. I am always charting and that's not a brag that's being honest. Like, I, someone who used to eat lunch in the bathroom stalls would have never thought my life would be where it is right now. I felt like my life was ending when I was in high school and middle school and having the hard time I was. But it wasn't. That was just an end of a chapter and this is the beginning of a new chapter and look at where I'm in. I promise you, if I can do it, you can literally do it. I'm nothing special. I came from someone who used to eat lunch in the bathroom stalls would eat lunch in the classroom with the teacher because I was getting bullied at school. It is literally nothing different than you or somebody else. But the only thing I did that somebody else isn't maybe doing is I started. Think about this. If you started years ago on something that you were wanting to start on, maybe something that you fear that you're going to fail on or how it's going to work out or if it's too hard to start, imagine if you just started it. Think about how much progress you would have had to where you are today. If it didn't work, it was a trial and error and you realized, okay, that wasn't for me and you tried something else. But wouldn't you rather try and know and try and maybe having the possibility you succeed than not trying at all? Time doesn't come back. When it came to my podcast, I remember thinking to myself, I'm going to launch fast perfect later. And that's exactly what I did. If you go back to some of my first episodes I've recorded, they sound horrible because my mic is a very low quality mic that I had. I was talking very funny and just different back then because I wasn't as comfortable as my first time. And it just is very different than where my episodes are today. But again, I wouldn't be where I am today if I didn't put out those first episodes. You have to start in order to become where you want to be. Do you understand you were losing time that you cannot get back? Two to four hours a day of scrolling on your phone is years of your life. Literally, two to four hours of your day just scrolling equals to being a few years of your life. Imagine that when we are on our deathbed, God forbid, I know it's kind of horrible to think that way. And I'm so into this extreme death anxiety. So I only even like thinking about that. But when you're on your deathbed, you're going to think, gosh, I would do anything to just have one more day to live my life one more day. But think about this. You spent years doom scrolling that equal to years of your life. You spent years on your phone and you didn't even realize it. And what were those things on your phone that actually made you feel fulfilled? Again, I'm not saying that don't watch TV or don't watch your favorite creators. Like I love doing those things. Those things bring me joy. But again, we're thinking about how can we be intentional about it? Or we're actually enjoying that content, doing it for a purpose that benefits us and feeds our soul rather than takes away and just is a bandage on our time. Imagine that those two to four hours a day went into time of hobbies, learning, creating, rather than consuming small daily choices, shape your entire future. The life you want is bill and boring moments. And you need to remember that because like I said earlier, it's going to be uncomfortable to change our doom scrolling and procrastination habits. But things like reading instead of scrolling, going for walks, doing your hobbies, creating things, having consistency and a routine of small healthy habits in your life are going to be what creates the life that you actually want to be living. We all have that life that we want. And again, our life is never gonna be perfect. But that's why we also have to be fulfilled in the life we have. Even if you think, gosh, my life is horrible. I have no money. I am unhappy. I hate my job. I hate my school. And you think all those things, your feelings are completely valid. And let me just say, those things may actually be horrible for you. But what is sitting and watching other people on Instagram and TikTok, living their life, going on vacation and working hard and having their business, going to make you feel like, if you just keep watching them and then you're done, you put your phone down, you look at your life, it's gonna make you feel depressed. That's common knowledge. But wouldn't you rather set a goal and think, you know, I'm gonna do some bit of effort to get me closer to where I wanna be? Stop thinking the life that you're wanting, the future that you want is unrealistic. You can have any life that you want. Nothing is unrealistic or unimaginable. It doesn't matter how much you think that you have no money or unhappy or you think, you'll never be as talented enough to have a business. Do you understand everything that people are doing, all the people that you look up to? Literally, literally majority of them started in the same position that you were. Many people didn't come from money who are successful and have businesses. Many people didn't come from extreme talents. Do you understand you don't have to even go to school for many different things that you maybe wanna do? I'm saying like creating a business or something. Maybe you want to be a founder of a clothing company. It doesn't take all the money in the world than it doesn't take having degrees in order to have a business. So much you can do from home nowadays and just research. Start researching. Instead of scrolling research on the things that you wanna be doing that's gonna lead you closer to the life you want. Maybe you wanna have a, you maybe wanna intern for a company that you love. Start going on LinkedIn, adding people on LinkedIn, make a portfolio for yourself, put things down, anything down that you've done. Even if you've done nothing, start putting anything down that you feel that maybe can contribute to being a good asset to somebody. (gentle music) This show is brought to you by BetterHelp. I want to go second to celebrate women and I have to say I'm proud. I have a very large women-based audience. And if you are a woman listening to this, I just wanna celebrate you. There is nothing more than I love than my birthday in March and that other thing is International Women's Day. I think it's so important to highlight string busy schedules that women take on. So I want you just to take a moment and reflect and see what do you do throughout the day and your life that you are proud of, keeping up with the work, our family, relationships, task, and one of the best forms of self-care is therapy. What I love about BetterHelp is they have quality therapists and also help you match to the right therapists for you. They also are the world's largest therapy online platform. Your emotional well-being matters, find support and feel lighter in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/busyatpretty. That's better, H-E-L-P.com/busyatpretty. (gentle music) (gentle music) - First spring, one of my favorite things has been my nails and when my nails are done because sometimes I just don't have time to go to the nail salon to do my nails, so I'll do them at home. The funny thing is I actually bring the same nail polish to the nail salon because it's just that good and I swear by it. I do the Olive and June gel polish and L-H-G and then a gel top coat. I use the Olive and June mini system. Everything you need in one box for a salon quality manicure, I love how it doesn't chip in it last for seven or more days. Not only that, it comes down to being only $2 per manicure, which is a lot more affordable than going to the nail salon, but it has just been my current spring obsession because it just makes doing your nails at home so easy. So if you're looking for a new manicure routine, I really recommend it. You can visit oliveandjune.com/pretty20 for 20% off your first system. That's O-L-I-V-E-A-N-D. dot com slash P-R-E-T-T-Y-2-0 for 20% off your first system. The only difference between you and the person that you look up to is that they started and that you haven't yet. You can be in any position you wanna be. You just have to start. Have belief in yourself. Like it amazes me. How so many people don't believe in themselves or think, oh no, it's not gonna happen for me because I don't have enough money or I don't have enough talent or I just am not suited out for it. Literally you are. If you keep thinking that way, no, you're not. And I'm not saying, oh you know, you're gonna keep thinking why I have money and then money's gonna appear in your account. I'm saying all you need is belief. You can have zero money, zero talent. As long as you are confident in yourself, confidence can be the biggest driving force to being where you wanna be. It can be more valuable than money, more valuable than having talent, more valuable than schooling. It can be so valuable. Walk into the room like you own the room. Walk into the room like you are a confident person. Stop having a narrative about yourself that you aren't valuable, that you don't know anything and that you aren't deserving of things because you are. You really just have to believe in yourself and that's where procrastination really stems from fear thinking, okay, are we gonna fail? Are we not, that's why we're not gonna start is, are we gonna fail? Are we not gonna be successful? Is it too hard? Will I not be able to do it? Like all those doubts and worries when you just need to try. Literally all that takes is trying. Start trying, start having trial and error. Realize you're gonna have times that things don't work out. You're gonna be rejected. You have to understand that being rejected and being turned down, having negative experiences as bumps in the road, is what is going to lead you to the right paths to success. So some practical shifts that you can do is replace 30 minutes of scrolling, start doing like five to 30 minutes of your time that usually scroll, start instead of scrolling, do something with intention. So find your intentional hobby, start cooking, baking, it can be anything. I have a lot of ideas on solo hobbies in my recent episode, but start doing something intentional rather than scrolling and just having your mind on like autopilot that you're just scrolling nonstop and you're not even thinking. Next is follow the five to 10 minute rule. So start task immediately. When it comes to procrastination, you're putting off, it could be a large project, it could be a small project, whatever the task is, it could be starting a business or it could be making your bet. Whatever task, do it. I understand maybe you can't start a business right now today, but you can learn about it, research about it, start putting some progress into it. And if that's not a larger task and let's say you have some small tasks that you're putting off, like making your bet, cleaning your room, doing the dishes, if your task takes under 10 minutes, do it right there. Don't put it in your schedule, don't put, okay, I'm gonna do this later when I get home, do it now, do anything that's under 10 minutes right now and I'm telling you, you're gonna realize, wow, this is so much easier than I thought it was. And also it's out of the way and not a nagging worry on your mind that you have to do that. Lastly, when it comes to shifts for procrastination, it's so important to romanticize simple habits, things like walking, journaling, cooking, all your solo hobbies that you do romanticize them because you're gonna start feeling like the people that you watch when you do them scroll. You're gonna start feeling those emotions of thinking, you watch the girls get coffee and go to Pilates, start doing your mat Pilates at home and make a match up from home. You're gonna start feeling like those girls, you're watching. Now, some last minute things for now, for some last things I wanna leave you with when it comes to your perspective, it's very important to shift your perspective. So realize your dream life isn't built in big moments. It's not gonna be you getting things done overnight, success doesn't happen overnight. It's gonna be the little things that add up, the little changes, start replacing some of your screen time with hobbies, okay, that's gonna be a big thing. So just realize things are not gonna change overnight. You're not gonna have a top selling business in a storefront overnight, but you'll have some progress into it. When it comes to your life with doom scrolling procrastination and just getting closer to the life you wanna be, you're not gonna be saying extremely big highs and wins. These things are built in very simple moments, such as a random Tuesday afternoon or you just waking up on a Saturday morning, doing a little thing with your coffee, doing some research, putting some action into it, it's gonna be little actions that your future self is gonna thank you for. And to close this episode, I want to share a few of my favorite quotes that I think I really benefited from, that I feel you will as well. The life you want isn't built in dramatic moments, it's built in the quiet decisions you make every day when no one is watching. And your future isn't decided by your goals, it's decided by what you do on ordinary days. And lastly, every hour you spend watching someone else's life online is an hour you could have spent building your own. I love you so much and I hope you enjoyed this episode as much as I did recording it. Anytime I do these motivational type of episodes, I get so motivated myself and now I'm like, okay, I'm gonna go check off all the tasks that I've been procrastinating and just feel fully up to date and caught up. And also, I'm gonna catch myself the next time I begin to doom scroll. So I hope you enjoyed this episode I hope. I hope it helped you. If you enjoyed it, please share over your Instagram story and TikTok. Tag me and I would love to repost. I love nothing more than watching the TikToks that you guys tagged me in listening to the podcast and your Instagram story. It just makes me so happy. Also, if you want to be featured on next week's episode, make sure to leave a podcast review over Apple podcasts and leave a rating over Spotify. And feel free to chat with me in the Spotify comments. I love you so beyond much. I'm so proud of you. Five years from now, you'll either be grateful you started today or wishing that you had. And don't forget to stay busy at pretty. Mwah!