Dominick Cruz & The Joe Rogan Text

Enjoy refreshing apple and sweet caramel comfort in every sip with a new caramel apple 5 hour energy shot. Caramel apple 5 hour energy shots deliver sweet and tart apple hits with a smooth buttery caramel coated finish. Dive into a caramel apple flavor straight from the orchard for a sugar free fall treat. Treat yourself to a crisp apple bite and smooth caramel delight with a caramel apple 5 hour energy shot. Payable online for a limited time at 5hourenergy.com or Amazon. This episode is brought to you by Control Resonant. The new game from Remedy Entertainment. Control Resonant is the sequel to the multi award-winning control. You're entering the world as the character Dylan. Dylan wakes up from a coma inside the oldest house. Headquarters of the Federal Bureau of Control. Only to find the building seven year lockdown has broken. The pair of natural forces that were contained inside have spilled out into the streets of Manhattan. And Jesse, the director of the FBC, who also happens to be Dylan's sister is missing. Dylan has to leave the safety of the oldest house, master his own evolving pair of natural abilities, confront his past, and track down his sister before it's too late. This is a melee-driven action RPG and the combat is aggressive, dynamic, and personal. You'll fight through a warped, living version of Manhattan. Not a traditional open world, but a city that's twisting and changing around you. Using the aberrant, Dylan shapeshifting weapon that morphs into whatever form the fight demands, mid-combat, and seconds. Pair that with the deep progression system and you get to decide how Dylan's pair of natural abilities grow and change over the course of the game. Control Resonant. Nothing stays contained forever. Coming September 24th to PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X and S, and PC, rated M for mature. You're so tantu. You look so good. I think it's a hickie. It's a hickie, dude. From a water buffalo. No, like I said, if this is a hickie, she'd be way too big for me. Oh, really? Wow. That's come. It's disappointing, isn't it? Wow, you're that guy. You can play piano, too. Yeah, I did. Violin. So you can play piano. You can't tell jokes. Yeah, dude. I can fight. I can fight, bro. What are you fighting for? What? For my life, bud. I can say. Dominic Cruz. Dominic Cruz. Oh, talk about it. He's the best. And he can pick your ass. Someone stole the style. And his name is TJ Dilla Shaw. You said it, not me. Yeah, I did. He's a TJ's a thief. TJ's a thief. Learn to fight on your own style. What a thief. What a goober. Technically, you could say you steal styles, too. No. No, no, no. I'm influenced. But you're not the first person I've seen with the ass cracking out. The only other ones that you copied are plumbers. But two different. You guys both wear no underwear. I understand. I understand. It's a flex either way. Okay, you're right. Maybe I'm a thief. I'm a butthole thief. I like it. Yeah, yeah. And, you know what I mean? Maybe that's true. But my point is, is that. Would that make you a pitcher or a catcher? I'm both, dude. Damn. Yeah. You know what I mean? I rip open and you can shred mine. And that's my, that's my model, dude. Yeah. Rip open shreds. I will brought you some authentic cuisine, too. Yeah, Panda Express. I get it. It's not authentic, dude. No. It's not authentic. Don't do it. It's not authentic. No, I mean, I really thought that. Yeah. I understand. Yeah. Yeah, I understand. Yeah. I just don't want to come empty handed. I understand that. I understand that. What do you do? Do you know what ethnicity I am or nationality I am? Korean. Yeah, exactly. Do you know what that is? That would be authentic cuisine. I never said. I know you never did. Anything else. Yeah. It's the same region. Yeah. Which is similar, right? Yeah, yeah. Well, I have some free holies. So I mean, I have some free holies. I do. Post up the free holies and the flautas. Yeah. Okay. This is the thing. Yeah. We had everybody who's from China and everybody from Japan and everybody from Korean. You went all on to a basketball court. Yeah. What would happen? And you went shirts and skins. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which we've heard this before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think the Chinese would win. Why? Because they have taller dudes. Yao Ming, right? Chinese. Who else? There's another guy that's right. This is Dom. This is a cat. You're a cat. To say that could be late. To say who else and could be late is unfathomable to me. Okay. So I apologize first. I apologize, Bobby Lee. I'm so sorry. Yeah, yeah. Do you know our guest here? I do. Okay. Tell me what you know about him. You're very strong. Oh, yeah. That's very good. That's the first time I've heard that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In what way? In what way? In division. I'm going to go with. Lightweight. And. What did you say, dude? Lightweight, no. Featherweight? Close. Yeah. What else we got? Upper weight. Peanut weight. Close. That would be his weight. You know what? You know what? Don't. Not my weight, dude. Yeah. I weigh 160. Really? 152, I mean. What weight would I be in 152? You would really weigh 152? Yeah, yeah. You're a flyweight. Yeah, dude. Flyweight, dude. Who would I think? Demetrius Johnson. Mighty Mouse. You ready? I could beat him, dude. Mighty Mouse. My challenge. Demetrius Johnson. He's retired, no? You think he could beat Mighty Mouse? In what form? His name's Mighty Mouse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you got it. You think I got it? Yeah, yeah. He's so good. He's so good. The real Mighty Mouse. Like, have you seen that? The cartoon? Yeah. Yeah. He's actually kind of like that. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. He's a beast. Does he have big ears? Mighty Mouse? No, he's black. Oh. Yeah. I don't think that's-- Jerry is right there. The mouse parts. This is him. Yeah. Oh, my God. Everything would break. Yeah. This guy's a beast, dude. Look at him. Look at him. Look at those muscles. Oh, my God. Yeah, so that's his weight. That's my weight, yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think you could go with that guy? I was kidding. Oh, of course not. Okay. Dude, fighting him? I would die in 10 seconds. Five seconds. I mean, I can't play the piano. I know. So how long do we have our gifts? I know. How long do that could last? Be honest. Fighting? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you wouldn't make it in there. I wouldn't be able to get into the cage. Oh, you dude, the nerves would get you before you got out there. I know. But how long you think? In the fight. Yeah, in the fight. Five seconds? What? Yeah, maybe. Maybe five seconds, maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bobby. I don't think you're durable. You look durable. Yeah. So I think you'd last a little longer through just durability. Your durability. I feel like you've been through enough miserable life experience. Yeah. Well, last is beaten. Yeah. I'm definitely durable. You're crafty, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm crafty, dude. Wow. What about sparring? It was on the wrestling team. Oh, shit. You might last. Yeah. For me to fight Dominic Cruz, I would need two years of training. Only two. To last more than 20 seconds. Okay, okay, okay. That would be my goal. To last more than 30 seconds. Bobby, come on. Two years of training. I would do a lot of running in the circle. You look kind of athletic here. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. When did that change for you? Death, let us say something. You don't lose it, Dom. You don't lose athleticism. I mean, yeah, yeah. Your arms look a lot different now. Maybe it's a sweater. I know. Dude, I know. How old are you? I mean, are we really any personal like that? A little. I don't know. I'm 40. You know what you are. I'm 54. Wow. Yeah. So for being 54, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You guys both look great. Thanks. Thank you. You're welcome. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. What about you? How long do you think you'd be elast with Albany Crews? Sparring? Yeah. Like 30 seconds. What's the other option? 30 seconds. There's just no way. We're sparring. You know, long 30 seconds. It's a long time. I start the clock now. I would probably spend 100 grand just to see that happen. Tell us when it's done. You know, don't you think? 30 seconds. Like sparring with the gear. Like, you've ever. I know. Yeah. 30 seconds is a long time, dude. It's a lifetime. I'm saying with gear. What do you have with the gear? It's still hasn't been 30 seconds yet. I don't think so. I don't know about it. How many times have hit you by now? Yeah. How many times? Oh. No, I'm not trying to fight. No, I'm not trying to. He's hit you 20 times already. No, it's like. But look in your eye. It's crazy when you're like, you don't have any time. (laughing) - I just think about 30 seconds, how long that is. - Yeah. - That's fine. - You have had 30 seconds to around him. - Yeah, wow. - I've been begging for 30 seconds to end. - Me too. - No, no, no, no, no, no. - I want to leave you hanging on that. - That's a sexiest thing. - You guys have had sex before? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no - Oh, he wasn't an option! (laughing) - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Donald looks hot. (laughing) - Yeah. - You're seeing somebody already? Mary? - Yeah, Mary. - No, yeah, yeah, yeah, Mary. - What's it like being in a, I mean, does your significant other have to be an athlete? - You know, that's a question. - That's a question. You know, my significant other just has to be very understanding. - It's funny, 'cause actually, you change when you're done fighting. For at first, when you're competing at the highest level, it's like I was choosing a partner according to what fighting needed. Then you finished fighting, and now it's like, okay, what does Dominic need? And it's like, hold on. - What does Dominic need? - It's a great question. - Yeah, well, I am still trying to figure it out. - Oh, yeah, yeah. - I don't know. I've been tired for six months. - You need tenderness? - I could use a hug? - Oh. - No, no, no, we did that. Okay. (laughing) - Give him a hand. - Do it for 30 seconds. (laughing) - 30 seconds. - See, I feel better. - I already just like, you have to take advantage of the cuddliness that he looks like. - Okay, I'm a girl, it's I'm a girl. My name is Sabrina, and so I like Taylor Swift. Okay, obsessed. Like I have all, I had memories of all her songs, right? - Okay. - I'm an influencer. - Sound like my cousin. - Yeah, good. - Are you into that? - Are you into that? - Yeah, so, yeah. I love them since, too. - Was that where we're going? - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm Sabrina. And you know, whenever we go out for a meal, I have to take every photo of every meal. - Yeah. - Yeah, appetizers, lemonade, the whole thing, right? - Lemonade. - What else? I sleep late. I sleep at five in the morning. 'Cause I game. - You're game. - I'm a gamer online, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Wow. - Yeah, yeah. I game online, you know what I mean? And right now I'm playing Apex Twins. It's a new game. - Is it real? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's an MMO. It's called Apex Twins. And it's a band too, but I've heard of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So would you date this person? - Um, no. - No. - No, he's out, yeah, she's out. She's out. No, it was a guy. I have a penis, I forgot the message. - Yeah, oh man. - So that's out. What about this? - Oh, what? - How about this? - No, no, can I? - If you're doing scenarios with girls, let me do one. - All right, okay, I'll give you a good one, too. - I'll do one, too, after you. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Everyone do one. - Is Dom voting for which one he likes the best? - Yeah, yes. - Can I change mine then? - No. - I didn't know it was a competition. - No, it's a competition. - No. - Yeah. - You go first. - You go first. - No, you go first. - Okay, 'cause you don't have yours. - Yes, I do. - You need improv. - Okay, go ahead, improv it. - Hi, my name is-- - No, what do you do with the mic? You have a mic? - No, I don't have a mic for it. - I'm doing the voice. - There's no change. - Okay, okay, go. - I get it. - He's got to change it a little. - Okay, go. - We gotta change a little bit. Okay, hi, my name is Shelby. I'm 30 years old. I'm a librarian. I do arts and crafts on the weekends. My muscles on Sundays. I'm just a fun gal to just lay back and chill and I get your boxer, so that's kind of hot. - Is that a boxer, but okay. - Full, a fighter. - Yeah. - And did you see what this goes? - That's okay, go ahead, Kat. - Wait, let him process that. - I'm a double D. - Oh! - Oh, you just put that on at the end. - Can I put one added thing on the mic? - No, no. - Yeah, I'm gonna BB out. - And the tightest vagina in the world. (laughing) - He added this, I'm gonna add mine. - Wow, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like virgin, like a virgin style. - Okay. - Go ahead. - Pressure is on, 'cause you're actually a female. - Okay. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Hi. (laughing) - My name's Darrell. I like podcasts and medicine. And I think that Mike Tyson's a really good guy. - Okay, well, I'm not in a guy, so you're out. - Well, I'm not a guy. (laughing) - Darrell's not a guy. - Darrell's not a guy. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that both name? - Darrell and Darrell. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - All right, try again. I think you got more in the tank. - Okay. - Yeah. - I also drive a stick shift, and I love playing. - Yeah, that's kind of, that's about it. - That's great. I also have a huge. Throat. Okay, I'm done now, please. - Okay, why? (laughing) - Really? - It's really good, intense. - I mean, tight, a giant, a huge throat. (laughing) - I think we know who wins that one. (laughing) - Yeah, I wanna go stand out. - Yeah, yeah, very good. - And you're wearing your acholo. - So. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - No, visually, we don't look like what we look like, you know what I mean? - No, but he said that. - Can I describe what I look like? - Double D's. - Yeah. - So that's visual. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. - And he's wearing a acholo. - Yeah, that's over the top of it, that's the night. - Yeah. - So, yeah, you win. - So I win. - I win. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Every time, every time, yeah. - Very good. I won that. - Okay. - Without even knowing I was in the competition. - Oh. - Beforehand. - Okay, can I ask you, 'cause we've had an argument here on this podcast. You guys, that's been running here, yeah. - Oh, yeah, we do. - What's a better band, a rock band? - Oh, I love Limp Biscuit, or the Beatles. - Or the Beatles. - Limp Biscuit or a Beatles. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I have to go with Limp Biscuit on my. - Yeah. - Oh! - I like the Beatles, but they're just. - Well, I think about. - More of my era, Limp Biscuit. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Like, fighting. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's what I'm listening to. I've had a lot of. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yes, did it. - Yeah. - Or they're about to fight, you know what I mean? - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - Yes, Beatles were a little bit, you know, they're a little bit soft. - Boring. - A little eggs. - I wouldn't say boring, because they did set the bar for Limp Biscuit to eventually take place, right? They made the path. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - You know, kind of like. - It's really interesting. - Yeah, it's pretty interesting, and I want to get close to you, dude. That's what. Because I've been a fan for a long time, but I think we took a couple of steps back. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - With that. - Okay. - Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Can you never heard of this back? - You know what the biggest doofus in the world is? - Yeah, okay. - What? - I know. - Okay. - The biggest doofus in the world. - Okay. Yeah. - Now we're into it. - He's been on this part, guys, what, a couple of times? - Why? - You brought him on twice? - Yeah. What a doofus. - Well, he would be tough to have on here. He just takes everything so personally. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Very sensitive. - Very sensitive, man. Very sensitive. Which is a weakness. Which is a weakness, if you can think about it, you know what I mean? - Oh, okay. - God, if I run into Michael, he's going to destroy me, dude. - 30 seconds. - No, he's a great guy. - Yeah. - But you think you're smarter than Michael Bissbink? - I mean, we're so, are we really setting the watering line with Bissbink? - Yeah, yeah. - I love watering lines and I love Bissbink. Let's do it. - Yeah. - I mean, it's not, we're not. - Yeah, it's a different level of intellect. - Yeah. - Yeah. - He's not really like, come on. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - He's Bissbink. He just, he just, he just, he reacts. - Yeah. - He's a reactor. - He's angry. - He's an angry guy. - But a funny guy. - Yeah. - No? - He is funny. - I think the funniest part about him is when he's angry. - Oh, right. - So I've never seen him angry. - Oh, he's always angry. - Oh, really? - When is he not angry? - I mean, any joke you make about him. - About him. - About him. - So he's about, he's gonna get angry about what his eye. - Oh yeah, he's gonna get mad. - He has a goofy eye. - Is it a lazy eye? - Can we talk about his goofy eye? - Is it a lazy eye? - A touchy subject. - Yeah. He's retired. That eye is retired or retarded, I don't know, I've brought it up, put that out, I've brought it up before in the past and I won't. - I just price and do it again, we work together still. - He'll destroy you. - He do his best. - Yeah, yeah. - He has no knees anymore. - No, he has a fake eye? - Yeah, he won fights with the literal thing. - Oh, I didn't know they had a fake eye. - No, why? - So he got spinning, he'll kicked in the face by Viter Belford. - Right, TRT. - TRT, Belford. - Of course. - And that's why he's so mad about it, because it was kind of, you know, technically that's cheating. - Yeah. - So then he lost his eye to somebody who was-- - He tore. - Not his eye. - Yeah. - And it wasn't nice. - It wasn't the UFC. - It wasn't the UFC. - It wasn't doing a lifeline, it wasn't nice. So everybody loves and respects best being for that, you know, but when we're talking about intelligence, you can make fun of them. [laughter] - Just eye out. - Just eye out. - Yeah, just talk. - Yeah, look, look, look at the eye out. - We gotta keep it in there. - Literally. - I didn't know it was a fake eye. That was just a lazy eye. I didn't know the-- [laughter] - You got his son? - I'm so nervous. I don't know if he took Belford fucking not with the eye out. - Well, I thought you were pan express Chinese, not Korean. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, there's many things. - Yeah, what's really the difference? - Yeah, what's the difference? Which one to understand each other? - That's it. - That's what it is. Yeah. ♪ If you need protein, I like using hue, hue, hue ♪ - I love hue, I love protein. And it's delicious, right? You get a little ball on whether you shake it up, dude. Shake it up. What's the hardest part of eating enough protein every day? What is the hardest part? I'm asking you, Kat. - I don't get enough protein. So it'd be nice to just get it all in one dose. - Yeah, and what would you use, I think? - I think hue. - Exactly, RTD, have you heard of that? - Of course. - Yeah. The emergency high protein complete meal, delicious powder. The controlled customizable high protein complete meal. I'm gonna talk about this, about both, okay? - Okay. - I love customizing stuff, right? And I love delicious flavors. - Oh, for sure. - Yeah, yeah, 35 grams of protein, RTD, 35G powder, 40G. - Damn. That's the perfect amount of, you know what I mean? - High mate balance. - High mate, what do you think the perfect amount of essential vitamins and minerals is? - Sh, 27. - There you go. I got it. - How'd you even know that? - Hey, let's say you have a gluten allergy, what would you, could I still have you, you'll? - Yeah. - 'Cause it's gluten-free. - Yes. - No order for the sweeteners, colors, or flavors, under five dollars per meal. - Under five dollars. - Yeah, yeah. - I keep a couple of my car just as a quick meal replacement. - I do too. - That's, well, that's ironic. - That is the thing. - That is the thing. - You would judge, do the same thing, yeah. - That's really, yeah. - Guys, if you're focusing on protein right now, or just trying to feel a little more put together, this bundle really helps. Limited time offer, get heels full, high protein starter kit today with our exclusive offer of 20% off online with our code TigerBelly20 at heel.com/TigerBelly20. New customers only. Thank you to heel for partnering and supporting our show. ♪ If you're balding ♪ ♪ Give me to use hands ♪ - You got places to be sitting in a waiting room for hair loss treatment. Isn't one of them. I'll tell you that right now, dog. Hymns makes expert care accessible on your schedule, so you can skip the line and focus on feeling like yourself again. Hymns offers convenient access in a range of prescription hair loss treatments with ingredients that work including choos, oral medication, serums, and sprays. - Dr. Trusted ingredients like finasteride and monoxidil can stop further hair loss and regrow hair in as little as three to six months. - Hey, you shouldn't have to go out of your way to feel like yourself, right? Hi, mate. - Yeah, 'cause Hymns brings experts care straight to you with 100% online access to personalized treatment plans that put your goals first. - No heating fee is no surprise cost. It's real personalized care on your schedule. - Think of Hymns as your digital front door that gets you back to your old self with simple 100% online access to trusted treatments for real health concerns all in one place. - It really does work, though. I know, man, I don't know some women that use it as well. Yeah. - For simple online access to personalized affordable care for hair loss, weight loss, and more, visit Hymns.com/belly. That's Hymns.com/belly. For your free online visit Hymns.com/belly. - Featured products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety effectiveness or quality prescription required. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. Individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral venoxidil and benastarine. - Ooh! (laughing) (upbeat music) - Really the difference. - What's the difference? We're trying to understand each other. - That's it. - That's what other things, yeah. - Is it true that you'd be swimming on a fight or is that just all made up? - No, that's what I was saying is I don't touch this subject anymore because that was the beginning of when we almost fought. - A physical fight? - No, just like we were on the desk, and he was burning me on the desk while we were on Fox. And so I had to burn him back. You know, you can't just let this happen. - So what was your burn? - Well, I mean, he said something about me being done. I don't remember what he said to me, but it pissed me off. - Yeah. - And I said that he had, that I won with both my eyes, basically. (laughing) - Bro, slam. - I mean, what a slam. - Personal. - He pulled it out. I didn't want to do that, but you made me do it. - Yeah, did he pull his eye out? - You should make a song about that. - Yeah, yeah, I don't know what it was. (singing) I know why. (laughing) - We can work on it. - Yeah. (laughing) - We got a song. - Yeah, we can work on it. But wow, so it never got really physical though. He didn't grab you. - No, he wanted to. - Yeah, he would kill you. - We've been, sorry. - No, that's not our goal dude. He would kill you. - Robbie, that's not very nice. - He's so much bigger than him. - But look at his eyes. - He's got two of them. (laughing) - Cut that out. - You don't know who you're talking about here dude. - Is he gonna come for me? - I don't know, do it Bisping. He lives in San Diego. We're gonna be in San Diego this weekend. - I'll admit this, yeah. - The numbers are probably not on my side. - Exactly. - He's a little bit taller, a little bit bigger, but excuse me. But he's also got metal knees, one eye, at this point. He's a little bit beat up. And I think that since he left the UK, he's gotten real big into the medical field here in the United States. And we all know what the pills do to you out here. - Right, yeah. And so, I think-- - What kind of pills? - Like, my crotchews? - My crotchews, I think he's-- - Luchews, oh yeah. (laughing) - So, - Responsible by Bluetooth. - Responsible. - So, I am just, I would never want to fight him on that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You'd be a mess. - Yeah. - His blood. - Well, he's a family man. - He's a family man. - He's a good family man. - And just so they know who Dominic Cruz is. - Yeah, Dominic doesn't mess around. He doesn't fuck around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - He's not-- - Look at that, look at this. - Oh, yeah, nevermind. - Nevermind, yeah. - Nevermind, yeah. - Nevermind, dude. - He would die in their time. - Okay, not that, sparring. (laughing) - This is him sparring, there. - No, that's not sparring. - That was, like, wow, look at that thing. - That's a fight, yeah. - Look at him. - That's a fight. - Look at him. - No, in all reality, like-- - Look, he's a video of the Asian guy for you, Bobby. - Yeah, well-- (laughing) - Did you have to pin his arm like that? - That was the idea, yeah. - Is this, you versus TJ, right? - Yeah, it was. - I saw these fights. - Ooh, good scraps. - Yeah, good scraps, dude. - You know, in all reality, though, this thing is a legend, and he was actually on a fight card with me when I fought Uriah Faber and he fought, he that's when he beat Wideman. - Oh, that was a lot. - Oh, that was a great one, yeah. - You're very knocked on the top. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And so, always respect for this thing as much shit as we talk. That's like older brother, younger brother, type of shit. Like, we're brothers, you know? So, I just, we bust each other's balls a lot. - Who beat Rook, Luke Rockhold for the title? - Yeah, that was business. - That was business, right? - Yeah, yeah. - And he wasn't supposed to win. Like, this was on a short notice. - I remember. - Somebody pulled out of the fight and he got put in, there was wide meant, pulled out of that fight. He got put in there, knocked him out of the left hook. - I remember. - Same fight I beat Faber. - Did you beat Faber? - I did, yeah, twice. - You know my favorite fight against, not you weren't fighting against him, but against Faber was the Brazilian. - Barale, or what? - No, not Barale, not hyening. - Aldo? - Aldo? - Ho, Jose Aldo. - Like, leg kicks? - Leg kicks. - Oh my god, that would've, I can't believe the O'Rio favor even stood after, I mean. - No, I don't know how he made it through that fight. - Have you had kicks like that, don't you? - Not like that. - That's like next level. - Yeah, that's another level like. - Barbosa's done that. - Barbosa, they're seeing. - Certain guys that have done it, but at the end of the day, he took a beating from Aldo. Aldo was in his prime at that point. - Can you look at O'Rio favor's leg after Aldo's kicks? - I think they're, sorry. - Go ahead. - I was just wondering if there's any moments where you're in the ring, and it's more intimate. Like, it's not so aggressive. - I don't wanna find, I wanna suck his dick, kind of. - Maybe not the dick, but it's just a cuddle. - Is there a guy that you thought that you really loved? - Yes. - Are you friends with them? - No. - Never. - No, why, why? You don't have friends. So, if we threw, I don't know, half a million dollars on the table right now, and we said, you can't like each other. Otherwise, you don't get the money. Are you gonna like him? - Oh, you can still like him and fight him, is what I'm saying? - No, I mean, are you actually gonna like, like what she's saying, like, have an intimate moment. - Yeah. - Or are you just gonna get the 500 grand? - That's right. - What would you do? - I would absolutely get the buddy. - Yeah, that's basically what it comes down to. So, even if you did like the person, you kinda like the money more. - Yeah. - But still, so the like, your family. - So your feelings for him just dissipate? - Yes, they go away. - They go, now after the fight, do they come back? - Oh yeah. - Well, the thing is, have you ever been in a fight? - No, man. - Never at the fuck. - Not even a lot. - You have. - I've been feeling like you have. - Yeah, yeah, but it wasn't up in the comedy store. - Yeah, I got beat up with the fight. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Or it should fear. - Okay, and at the end of it, you felt so glad it was over. - I was glad it was over and I fucking hated the cops. - You did not hate him, you're still friends with them. - No, I got eight years later, we became friends. - So you really, I was an actual like hate fight. - Oh yeah, I hated him. - He beat me up, and then you lost after you hated him? - I didn't swing one time. - Why if you didn't like him? - He's six for two. - So you just couldn't. - I couldn't reach. - Yeah, yeah. - No, he hit me from behind. I fell down, he kicked me in the face a bunch of times. He was like, I'm not a fairer. - He lost his eye. - I'm sorry, I'm sorry. - But yeah, so the like doesn't come back for you. - Depends on who it is. - Or it's the who are the people that you don't like right now. - Oh man. - If you saw them at an event, you're not going to say hi. Or the people you wouldn't say hi to. - But you're also in a different place now. - Yeah, it's totally different. Like it's it is, when you're competing, it's different than when you're not, come on. I don't have anybody that I can't get along with. To me, I look at it like if I don't like you, it's because you made me not like you, which means I'm giving you my power. You don't have the power to make me not like you. It's that simple. - Okay. - But if I'm competing against you, I don't, it just none of that matters. Whether I like your none, I'm just gonna hurt you. - Wow. - That's really easy when you're competing. - Wow, it's wild. You think it's hot? - No, no, I never said that. - Well, where you whisper it? What are you whispering? - I said that's hot. (all laughing) - Yeah, it's hot. Yeah, it's fucking hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's sexy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So right now, you get along with everybody. - Yeah, your friends. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like if you saw Dilla Shaw at an event where you hug him and go, "Hey, how are you, how's your life?" - He's sad. - Hug is this strong? - Wow. - You were tired. Who give a fuck? - Yeah, that's reconnected recently. - But we're cool. - All right. Would you have dinner with him? Like, "Hey, teach." (all laughing) - Teach, let's get a meal. - Teach, you wouldn't call him that? - No. - Yeah. - Dill Dill. - That's what I got. - Double D's or whatever. - Yeah, probably not. - Really? - Maybe a beer. - A beer. - Maybe. - Wow. - Yeah, 'cause that. - Who would you have a dinner with? - I've been out of the M.A. game for a while. - Yeah. - So I don't know the new people, right? - Yeah. - Okay, so Pereira. - Yeah, why not? - You'd have a meal with Pereira. - You know, anybody who's not in your weight class is like pretty simple. - John Jones. - Yeah, I've had plenty of dinners. John Jones. - What's that like? - Yeah, he's a trippy guy. - Yeah, yeah. - I can tell. (all laughing) - I have eyes. - Well, you know, you think that he's like one way or another, you can't ever get a point in time on Jones. - Yeah, he really can. - So that's the best way to put him. Like, I've had nights at one in the morning where we're going over moves after an event. We both fought and we're going over moves in the hotel rooms, finding ways to like, hurt each other and talk to each other. - After the fucking fight? - Yeah, we just call over moves and you're drinking and partying. - You're not gonna go to bed? - Well, you're drinking. - Oh, you're drinking. - Oh, you're celebrating. - You're celebrating? You just want to fight. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And then he's showing me his moves and I got to learn. - So that was fun. - I would love to be there. I'll show you my move. - Yeah, what's your best move? - Koala. (all laughing) - I make up my own moves. - What does that entail? - I just clean on you like this, like your tree. (all laughing) And then I fall asleep. - Oh, he's a bamboo. - I don't sleep. - He also has Climidia. - Yeah, I have Climidia, dude. Yeah. - 'Cause that's cool. - Is that cool? - Are those koala's ads? - Yeah, koala's have it, yeah, yeah. Sexually active, dude, you know what I mean? What a beautiful creature. - Yeah, I mean, sometimes I like burn myself, I do an Australian during the fires one. - Yeah. - Yeah, that's a fun one. - That's cool. - The fiery koala, I call it, yeah, yeah. So watch it, you know what I mean? I do panoroles, I do panoroles, yeah, so that's one of my moves. - Do it. - Yeah, but I would love to like, after a fight, if you guys won, I would just love to be there. - Me too, me too, I would get involved. - Let me try, let me try. Would you go full force? - Yeah, yeah. - Oh, no, no, no. - No, with you, you gotta learn it. - Yeah. - So we gotta show it to you. Like, here and he knows, John Jones knows. So I'm just kinda hypothetically showing him what I would do. And he's like, yeah, this is how you blow somebody's knee out. - Wow. - Those are the types of moves he's showing. - Wow. - They're pretty sick. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Like have you ever seen how he does that move, where he stomps your knee? - Yeah, what's that called? - I don't know. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Everybody would say this is bad. This is like, that's below the belt type of strike. Can you still hear that sometimes, where they kinda side kick your knee when they walk forward? I was, I remember before this was a big move, he was showing me that this is something he's gonna do. And he jumps and then shows, I was like, wow, that's vicious. So things like that. - He says, he has another move, illegally punching a deaf guy. - I mean, do you remember that? - Yeah, you're actually not wrong, bud. - Yeah, do you remember that? - And yeah. - He fought a deaf guy and he punched him in the face illegally. - Oh, Matt Hamilton. - Matt Hamilton? Is he not deaf? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So that's a move, punch a deaf guy. - I mean, it was after the bell. - It was after the bell, right? - I think so, that has. - That is one loss, right? - It's overturned now. - The deaf guy. - It is? It's over too, so now he's undefeated. John Jones is undefeated. John, I was just a joke, if you're listening, okay? I'm a huge fan, I've seen all your fights, and I love you so much. Yeah, 'cause that guy is probably greatest of all time. - Yeah, be real. - On the numbers, yeah. - On the numbers, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, on the numbers, yeah, and it's, I think it's also preference, right? Like, what makes the best comedy of all time? - Comedian of all time. - Oh, yeah, yeah. - It's preference a little bit. There's numbers, right? What are the numbers on the best community? How do you do that? - If you base it on, how do you figure that out? - How do you figure that out? - Take it. - Numbers, then, you know what I mean? - What do you base the best comedian of all time? - Good. - Honestly, really. How do you do that? - Good fighting. - Good fighting. - Huh? - Good writing. - Something different. - Absolutely not, so what is it, seriously, though, being, your top comedian, like, what is it? - Well, you look at a guy like, I think they just did a list of the 120 best comics of all time. And Dave Atel was what, seventh or something like that. And, you know, it's not as if Atel does stadiums, you know what I mean? He's a club comic, you know what I mean? He's one of the greatest of all time. But it's his style, his joke writing, his coolness, everything about, go ahead, what? - I said writing. - Joke writing, right? - Yeah. (laughs) - Yeah, you did say that. Yeah, but just one thing you said. - Okay, there's one of many things, but writing, that's all you said. - Sending up punches. - No, that's not, yeah, that's nothing. - Sending up your punches. - That's a joke. - You both do that. - All jokes, you have to set it up. - Yeah, I'm a little bit of punchline. - Yeah, but then there's comedians who do car work and don't, you know. - Yeah, that's, I wouldn't consider that being, see interpretive. - Whoa, dude, you're right. - The point, so how do you figure out who the best comedian of all time it is? And I look at the same with fighting, like I think on the numbers, you can look at all the records he's broken, all the, he's never lost, the way he's done it, the people he's finished, when he did it, a lot of the guys he's beaten were the best in their prime when he beat him. So things like that is what you're looking at. But then when we're talking about some people, when you get them outside of the octagon, maybe you don't always respect that. - Oh, they'll behave your outsides. - Oh, we have comedians like that too. - Yeah, we do. - Some people add that up, some people don't. That's again, that's interpretive and it's preference, right? So let's say you're really funny, but you being koalas on the side, right? - Are you groomed? - And that's where you get koalas. - I grew up with the koalas. - I grew up with koalas. - Yeah, great koalas. - That weird thing would probably, yeah, you're getting, I get, I get close. - I understand. - Now it's like, I don't, you're not. It's funny anymore. We might have to flag that because of bestiality, but yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I get what you're saying is that, can I ask you a question and don't say it from your point of view, say it how I would feel, because I don't want you to get in trouble. Basically, let me just throw it out there, right? Who's a nice guy, like, I'm going to throw some names out and who I would think was a nice guy in the business. - To me, Trish Johnson. - Oh, yeah, I can tell. - He's one of the nicest guys. - I can tell. - Yeah, I can tell. - He's like, even fighting, when I was fighting, I was like, oh, you're nice, like, I have to, like, no, don't. - Did he beat you? - No, but he was still like, he was really nice. - Was it a draw? - No, it was, I won unanimous decision. - You won that! - Yeah. - You won! - Destroyed him. - He's dead though. - I did. But that's, he's still nice. Before the fight, he was nice. After the fight, he's nice. Like, after you beat somebody who's nice, you have to, you know, it doesn't happen much, right? - You can tell he's super nice. - He's just authentically a nice human. - Yeah, he's got another one. - Yeah, he moves nice guys. - Moosa Mecky, right? - Moosa Mecky's a Jiu Jitsu, a Jiu Jitsu practice specialist. He's an example of somebody who's like, overly nice that you would hang out with. You know? - Is that, oh, yeah, that's you with the tattoo, oh wow. - With the Matrix, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - Oh, yeah. - This is a long time ago too. - That was, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - Wow. - Yeah. - And he's one of the best. - Go ahead, Kat. - What, like, gets you really riled up to just beat these guys. Is it money? - More than the money. It has to come from, like, a deeper place. - Yeah, you're trauma, right? - Yes. - We all got a little trauma. What happened to you? (laughing) - I'm curious how, I wonder if there's overlap. - That was so good. - That was so good. - That tour was so good. - That was amazing. - Yeah, it pissed me off. - It pissed me off. - It pissed me off. - The question and also the timing of it pissed me off. - Yeah. - That was so good. - And the head move was pretty good. - Oh, I tell you what happened to me, Dom. - Let's see if there's overlapping your trauma. Let's see. - There was a little molestation. I was molested, you know, me in a little bit. - How old were you? - Eight, nine years old, ten, maybe? I don't know, that time period. - I mean, is that a molestation, as you kind of like, at that age? - I know, right. - I think I had Down syndrome. I think I had Down syndrome. - I've heard this. - Yeah. - Yeah, exactly, exactly. - Don't laugh. - Am I dead used to beat me? - With what? - With golf clubs, tennis rackets. - Bamboo. - No, no, bamboos are dumb. (laughing) - I mean, I'm shocked. - Well, I guess I'm a Shaolin monk. (laughing) - He's bald. - Yeah, yeah, he's got a white, you know what I mean? - Yeah, yeah, he's not, you know what I mean? - Yeah, he's just so immigrant, okay? (laughing) Well, you, regular immigrant, too. - Did he beat you with chopsticks, sir? - What? - No, I think. - Oh, that's racist. - Oh, what the heck? - That's pretty racist, yeah. - Bamboo. - Bamboo. - You know, we're at the lobster. - Chopsticks. - Oh, come on. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oh, how do white girls go doing it, too? - Oh, that's, yeah, yeah. - Okay. - I shame. - Okay. - What shame. - Konnichiwa. - That's fucking Korean, not Korean. (laughing) That's Japanese. - Oh, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - Do it right. - Okay. - Yeah, that's Korean. - There we go. We're on the right. - You guys are teaching her. - Yeah. - She knows. - Really? - Yeah, she's being a pastor. (laughing) - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - She's a pastor. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So, one last nice guy, give me another nice guy. - Oh man. - Let me, could I just throw on a, would I like, under boy? - Oh, it's Stephen Thompson. - Super nice. - Super nice. - And, well, he's Christian. - Whoop your ass. - Oh, you'll whoop your ass, but he is religious. - With Jesus. He will whoop your ass with Jesus. - He's still trying to convert me. - He would beat your ass and be like, "You sure you don't want to pray about it?" (laughing) You know, like-- - He totally will. - Tell me to do this. - I mean, if he kicked me in the right way, I would die, right? - I would die, right? - You, I mean, pretty close. - I mean, 'cause his face-- - Have you watched him kick? - Yeah, I've seen a lot of his fights, most of his fights. He is an absolute animal. - He is an animal with kick kicks. - Yeah, yeah. - Nasty, I wouldn't want to, that was one of the last people I don't want to be kicked by. Like in the abdomen. - Anywhere he kicked you, probably would be very good. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it would break ribs, why? - This is one of his-- - Okay, this is his first fight. - Yeah. - His debut. - Yeah, this one's clear. - You can't even see him. - You can't even see it. Like, he throws his leg up like a hug. - Look at the guys out. - He's in a different planet. - He throws his kicks. - Wow, that's like a superhero. - Yeah, yeah. He really is that guy. - Did he retire or no? - No, he's still going. I think he's close. - Oh yeah, this one's, what's that guy's there? The other guy? - Where is he from? - Yeah, Johnny Hendrix. - New York is where he trains. I don't know where he's actually from. I mean, cross-trains with Chris Wiedman and those guys. - Is dad still, is this a quarter? - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - He had a bunch of like pro kickboxing fights first. Like undefeated and kickboxing. - Yeah. - He crossed over to Emma Mayler now to stuff the take down and then just started kicking the shit out of him. - He's so nice. You could tell he's nice even when he's kicking. (laughing) - Sorry. - Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. - I bet it is like that though. - Yeah, yeah. - You know what he's saying? - Oh, look at that. Oh, this guy's devastating. - Yeah. - He's a devastating machine. - He's a high light real. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, look at him. He's handsome too. - Wow. - Yeah, man. - Can we talk about handsome fighter? - Okay. - You're handsome. - You guys are two kind. - You're not? - You're very nice. - Yeah, yeah. - You have a, right? Be honest. - Yeah. - Handsome. - Handsome. - Can we talk about the uglys? - You're the ugly. - Hello. - Randerley Silva. - Oh. - I mean, he got his nose fixed. - How about, I'm calling McGregor, who's the colon? - Yeah, call the girl. Call the girl. Call the guy in the actor. He's very handsome. (laughing) - Who's the Irish guy? - If you guess, guess, guess. - Connor McGregor. - I just said, guess. - I was gonna play a game and you just fuck me up. - I guess. (laughing) - I guess. (laughing) - I did guess. - He did guess. - Too shame, my friend. You did. - Let's see why they had you. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you did guess. - I get it. - Getting really cocky. Yeah, Connor McGregor, what do you have any questions? - Yeah, is he still out there? Is he still playing? - Yeah, I don't think so. - What do you guys think? You think he'll make it to the White House? You already was at the White House. - No, White House fight. - Yeah, the fight. - Fighting on the White House. - Oh, is that a president? - No, literally. Okay, so there's a fight that's happening, you guys. - There's a fight that's happening at the White House. Do you think that he'll make it on that card or get arrested first? (laughing) - Which happens first? - Yeah, I think I'll do both. - Yeah. - Is this where refunding? - Jesus Christ. - We are refunding this, yeah. - This is happening at the White House. - This is, it's very like gladiator. - It's very sick, yeah. - What is it not? - It's not been like that. We're just pretending not to know. I mean, it's been that way. - It's gladiator. - It's been that way. You got the really rich people on the outside that don't get punched, that tell us. Like it's been that way. That's, you know what I mean? - Mine as well do it at the White House now. It's really happening. - As comedians, we're like that too. I mean, we're just dancing clowns. - Yeah. - So that the rich people can get away from it. - Sometimes I feel that I felt that way before. - Really? - I have. - To do what they're gonna do. - But I chose it. - Or all the money, right? Distract, distract, distract, and we're a distraction. We're proud of the problem. - You're proud of it. - You feel that, what? - You guys are weird. (laughing) - What do you mean? - I'm funny. - You don't have money? - I know, but you're developing, because you're stand up, right? You don't have the name yet, but eventually you're gonna be the guy distracting, you know what I mean? As a tool. - But also we could be like a light at the end of the tunnel that provides, like-- - We could change things. - Happiness for people. - Yeah, I think all forms of entertainment create happiness and joy, but it's still a distraction. It's, I think it's the rich doing it, you know what I mean? - I mean, it would be a distraction if we knew we were being distracted from, right? - So what are they distracting us from? That's what I wanna know. What are they distracting us from? - That's the question. I do not know, you know what I mean? Illuminati, I don't know. There's gotta be some stuff that I'm not privy to any of that information. I'm just gonna distract for them. - Yeah. (laughing) - I'll be the tool, I don't care. - I don't care. - Look at me, look at me! - Fuck, fuck, fuck! - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll just do that. - Yeah, so you think that when you're fighting? 'Cause basically you guys are essentially the gladiators of the Roman Empire. - You think about it when you're negotiating, not by the time you get to the fight, you let it go, you've made your choice. - Yeah, yeah. - But before it, when you're negotiating, you're like, really? - Yeah. - That's another thing about what you guys get paid and what UFC gets paid, right? And I could say this out of my own mouth 'cause I have nothing to do with it. I would love to come to fight by the way, so I don't wanna burn any bridges, but I just feel like you guys should be paying for it more. - Yeah, thank you. - Yeah, I really do, because I look at some of the things like, but look at how many people are there. Look at the, you know what I mean? - Take it, sir. - Look at how much they're making. - Their bodies are on the line. I don't know, I think, I look at some of that stuff, especially if you're an undercard. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? It's just like, sure, John and headliners probably make really good money, you know what I mean? But they're not making money like Jake Paul when he fights, that's a good point. - Okay, so here's the, here's the similarity that you might vibe with. You had the headliner on a comedy card and then you got the beginner openers. - Oh, that's true. - Should they get paid as much as the headliners? - Yeah, but the headliner, the headliner pays the openers. - Exactly. Ah, except the good point. - Oh, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Okay, you're getting a raise. - Okay, four dollars. - Yeah, so from a promoter standpoint, that's, I'm not dumb. You gotta look at all angles, right? Like, which came first to chicken or the egg? So it's like, okay, that you have seen it. - God. - God came first. - Steven Thompson. - As Steven Thompson. - You have see got through the politics bubble and made it legal. So then who would have done that if it wasn't for them? And then why even be making any money at all? - Yeah. - So there's all these different things. - Variables. - You gotta look at it, right? But the differences is that I think we all deserve more, but you guys believe you deserve more too, right? - Yeah, I mean, gas from the car. - Food for my nose. - That's a George question. I mean, that's strictly a George car, Roger. I have nothing to do with it. - No, no, no, it's the producer. I don't know how you get here. I think he pays it or he's the boss. So it's like, he's the, you know what I mean? The oppressor, he's the Dana White of this whole opera. (laughing) Okay, so you put your fingers at him and don't ever look at me when you say it. - I'm okay, you know, I'm okay with what I got paid. - I know, no, I know you're, I know. - I still got a job, I'm grateful. - I'm grateful. - But I do understand, you know, what you're saying. - Yeah. - Of course, I have another thing I want. - I have another thing I want to get paid more. Come on, who doesn't? That's the way, that's how I always try to look at it. You're a business owner, right? - Yeah. - Aren't you? (laughing) - Oh, look at this face. - I know, it's hard for me. - This is my business owner. - Oh, hello. - Oh, welcome to the corporation. - Do you guys deserve to be paid more by your boss? - No, I'm very content with how much I'm paid for right now. - Yeah. - My Bobby Lee. - I'm very happy. - On the record, I just want everyone to know. - How's that feel, Bobby? - I'm very happy. - So good. - You're just loved, they really respect you. - What do you think that is? - This business is different than your business. - Well, this is the question. Do you think they need their job, like their job, or just don't think they deserve more pay? - Here's what I'm doing. - And what do you think they're telling the truth to you right now? - You're good. (laughing) - This is amazing. - See, this is what you're good at. - This is what if people against each other? (laughing) - Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know what you are doing? - You're like worm tongue, or like in-- - What, in Game of Thrones, what's that got-- - The Unic? - No, not the Unic, because the guy that gets hotter at the end. - What? - Is that the game? - Little finger. - Little finger. - You're a little finger, dude. - Oh yeah. - Nobody wants to be the-- - Stop. - You watch Game of Thrones? - Come on. - Yeah, you're a little finger. - Stop. (laughing) - I have a little finger, yeah. This is Dominic Cruz, dude. (laughing) - The King's kind of-- - Yeah, the King is not paying you. (laughing) - You need to do the King. (laughing) - So yeah, you guys-- - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - You see what's happening. - But you tried to do it to me first to be-- - What did I try to do? - You tried to say that I deserve more pay, and that we all deserve more pay. Well, I'm asking your people, the fighters. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's a different setup. - It's not. - It is. - It's a difference, just 'cause they're not as funny as you. - No, what it is is that. (laughing) - No, that's not-- - That's not-- - Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight. - That's not what it is. What it is is this, okay. Number one, it's like I'm giving them opportunity, right? So for instance, the fighter is on a-- - No. (laughing) - The fighter is on a card. Number one, the headliner doesn't choose the lineup, does he? - Yes. - Headliner doesn't choose the lineup. - In the UFC. So John Joe is on the main card. He can choose the lineups before. - No, it's the promoter here. - Exactly. No, I'm not the promoter, I'm the headliner. - You're all the above. - He's the promoter. - He's the promoter. - Yeah, he's the promoter, right? - I'm the headliner. - I'm the headliner. 'Cause he's blaming IMGWME, the same way you're blaming them. - Oh, the promoter. - Oh, great. You see, he's just the promoter. You're the promoter. Well, you're Dana of this world in comedy. You're right. And you are really, I mean, how much more do you two deserve? (laughing) - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I will do it. - I will do it. I will do it. Let's hear your demands, let's hear your demands. - Here you're the best, Dom, you're wise. - You're the best. - You're the best. - Promote, promote. - So when you get one shot at this, right? - So when you guys go on the road, right? You guys do stand up, you guys do 10, 30 minutes, and then there's a price attached to that. What do you guys think? - What? - You go first. - So Bobby's doing a weekend at San Diego. - You have a job at the comedy store, so. - Yeah, okay. - They all got really nervous. You have the fighters got nervous. - This is, see, because what's gonna happen is you're gonna lie to a piece of boss. (laughing) - Because you want to keep your fucking job. - What a twister, this is what was it of the mind, didn't it? - No, it was you to see. - This is back fired on us. - Yeah, no brother, have your job, then name your price. - And as your boss, I'm gonna leave you with this opportunity to do so, but you get one shot at it. - Okay. - Okay. - But what happens if we, what? - Well, negotiate, like we do. - Okay. - It's a business. - Okay. - Go ahead and hire me. What would you like? - Welcome to a fighter's life. - Yeah. - So you're hosting for Bobby on a weekend. What do you want? - Who would like to maybe get it Uber once in a while. You know, the Metro's not that great. - You need a manager. - Oh yeah, he does need that actually. - Or what you're asking for, you need to get better at this. Uber, bro. - Huh? - Did you sniff glue before you? (laughing) - No. - I'll take, they-- - He was born this way, don't you? - All right. - They make me take the metro. - Dom help him. - Dom, raise the bar for yourself. - Yeah, Dom, Dom, what are you guys making a disgust? Top amongst yourselves. - Like here, but you can see it. - That's my boss. (laughing) - See that. - That's my boss. - See, and this is what Dana does too. You think we get to talk to him? - Yeah. - No, never. - Whoa, okay, so what do we say? - Yeah, you gotta do it right. (laughing) - Maybe like $20 sex or something. - No, this is the guy right here. - I'm gonna leave the room. - Do it goes here without, I'm up with a fucking thing. This is fine. I'll have a cigarette, I'll come back, and then we'll like to hear your proposals. - Dom, hey, Dom's a pro at this. - Okay, hey, get the pen and paper out, come on. - No, but see, this proves my point. - Exactly, you don't wanna talk about money. - Nobody wants to say, no, you can't do it. - No, I know. - So, he set the stage for you guys, right? Without Bobby, you wouldn't have the stage, so is there any respect for that? - Is there any respect for this stage he set? - Yes. - So that's kind of how we gotta be. Or you could just forget it and say, you are the stage. He deserves, like, he's lucky to have you. These are your choices, right? Either you respect the stage he created for you and you're on it, and let's make the best of it, and be grateful and work together. Or, he's lucky to have you, and you should ask for how much if he's lucky to have you. - I feel like the first one for me. (laughing) - I do feel like-- - I may, I think you gotta do the second one. Let's just see what happens. - Okay, now, second one, see you. - How much you worth? - How much do you deserve? - For hosting it. - For this? - For this job, you do. - For this job? - You do a lot. You show up early, you leave on time. - Yeah. - Right? - Yeah. - What else do you do? That's, I mean, you deserve, you're that guy, right? - Well, then we got a work hard for it. - You do, don't you? You just said that. Like, you're not gonna say you don't work hard, are you, like, this here and then a conversation. Sorry, I don't work hard. - Can I get a right? (laughing) Well, I may like, I know why you're here, bro. (laughing) As a committee, as you got a work hard, you know? 'Cause we gotta get to where he's at eventually. - There we go. - Okay. - So how do you get there? How much do you need to be able to be to that level? - It's not what, how much I need, I just need to stay. - Stay, it's just stage time. - Okay, so negotiate stage time. - There we go. - That's your value. - Okay. - You don't wanna do 10 minutes, you wanna do 30 minutes. You wanna bump cat down? - No, no, I don't wanna do that. - Okay, let's not do that. - No, no, yeah. - Here's my favorite part about this discussion, as you see, it's nullified. - Yeah. - You don't know what to say. You don't know what to do. You're gonna do your best. So then, what are we gonna do? You're gonna bring in a manager and say, look, these two right here, best style in the game. She's here. (laughing) So, with the whole situation, this is how much they deserve, right? That's why you need the middle man, 'cause you can't do it your own horn, can you? - All right, get ready. Remember, lock in. - You guys have two different options. - No, you guys have two different options. Remember. - All right, all right. - So, how much do you make per show? - When you're on the road. - Well, I mean, you're the headliners. - You're the headliners. - You wanna bleeped out. - Yeah, bleep. - Depends, what's the gig, for real? - Casino. - Okay, Casino, there you go. - Fresno. - Or Casino. - All right. - All right. - Casino. - You make the show. Without you, they do it. - I didn't promote it, they do it. - Yeah, but without you, there's no show. - And whoever said of it. - Every single person in that seat coming to my show is because of me. - Yes. - Exactly. - So, that being said, I disagree. These guys actually bring more to the table than you, I think, and I think part of the reason that you're getting (beep) 'cause they're here. - No, I could choose, I have a stable or probably 1000 people, I could ask, right? - As equivalent talent-wise or more, that we do it even for cheaper is what I'm saying. So, that's what I wanna say. - Now you sound like a flight promoter. - You sound like Aino-wise. - I'm just telling you. - So, you just told me these guys are worth nothing 'cause you guys, it'll take less. - Here's the reason why I use them. - So, there's, I liked them more as a human beings. I like hanging out with them. - Boom. - And I think that they have more potential than these other people. That's why I use them. I think that they're gonna be future, you know what I mean? - Notice the term "use". (laughing) - So, be a manager and you're so good. - You're so good, dude. - Yeah, you'll notice it. - All right, so what's the, what's the, what do you demand? - Yeah, I say like 10 minutes of 500 bucks. (laughing) - Give me 10 minutes like this. - I see why you hired him. (laughing) - Give me 10 minutes, 500 bucks. - Yeah, done. (laughing) - You got a deal, you got a deal, and a meal? - Done. - You got a deal, baby. - And an oop. - I get you flight and also hotel room with that. - Okay. - All right, yeah, yeah. So done, good, that good agreement. (laughing) - Now we only have one other. - Go ahead, Kat. - Okay, I'll do 25 minutes. - Yeah, yeah. - For four grand. - Wow. - Wow. - So, are we starting to get the big picture? - I'm not, actually not. - Yeah, I don't even see the little picture. (laughing) - I'm just curious. - You think you're worth five grand? - No, five hundred. (laughing) - Wow, five hundred, five grand. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, four grand. - Okay, so 45, yeah. You think together you're worth not even five grand. - Yeah. - Together. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Okay, so this is why. - Fighter pay and now. - Yeah, this is how it works. - Yeah, so if yourself worth a shit. - Yes. - All right, so Dom, this is what I would do then, right? I go, oh, you want that? - Yeah. - I'd go, I'm gonna call Ramsey. 'Cause he'll do it for a thousand. - Yep. - Yeah. And you're out. - Yeah, 'cause you really-- - This is all hypothetical, I just whatever. - No, you're out. - No, what the heck? - You just piss me off. (laughing) - You're forever out. - Dominic Patroon had lost her body opening up her body. - You are your fucking mind. (laughing) You are a grateful bitch. (laughing) Have you lost your fucking mind? (laughing) - See, now this is what's out. - This is what you did wrong. You see what I'm saying? Now you set the number two high. - Yeah, way too high. So now, now, when you talk to the promoter. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't even show up as four grand. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, can't even show up. - Now, when you show up and you shit the bed, now you're not gonna, you're cut. - Yeah, you're cut, dude. - Don, what the heck? - You see what I'm saying? - In fact, when's he start? - He went five, no, no, no, no. - How low his watering line is? (laughing) - For 500 bucks? He could fuck up every day and he'll still get brought back by the promoters because he asked for no money. - Yeah. - Okay. - So. - I know what you were doing there. - He's your choice, he's your choice. - He's your choice, he's a fighter. You know, do I want to come in and say, I'm worth a million dollars. Okay. And now you're facing fucking John Jones. - Right. - Or you can say, look, let me work my way up. I'm worth 500 grand instead of a million. - So you have to in? - Oh, you're in. - Oh. - For life. (laughing) - Great deal. - All right. - It's a great deal. - Okay, so maybe we just-- - No, no. - Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Just redo it. - You wanna redo it? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Okay, go ahead. - Okay. - Can I redo mine too? - No, no, no. - Yeah, yeah, go redo yours too. - Okay, so I just wanna say, first of all, I'm sorry. (laughing) - Yeah, okay. - It's second of all, I will still host on Wednesday if you'd like that for me. - For free. - For free. - Yes, chef. - Okay, well now we're working on it. See, same amount of money, but one day for free. - Yeah, you're really teaching me something. This is great. I think you're trying to help me. - I don't know. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're helping me. - This is interesting. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would like to hear yours now. You're new. - I'll still keep it at 500 for the hosting. - Yeah. - 10 minutes. - For hosting. - Yeah. - Okay. - Hosting, 10 minutes, but if I can sell my merch. - Oh, 100%. Go ahead. - And that's it? - Yeah, yeah. - Oh, and a meal. - I gotta eat. - The meal is already included. - The meal's made. - Yeah, yeah. - The meal's very important to you. I get it. (all laughing) - They had whole ends. - Yeah, no, it has to be a wingstop, though. - You want wings? You can get as much as you want. - Yeah. - You can get Parmesan, Buffalo, different varieties of flavors. I don't care. - Can I get the cheese sauce? - Yes, you can. - Funny story, I actually did this in a negotiation one time and I'm embarrassed about it. I asked for suits. - Oh. - See how dumb that is? - Why? - It's so stupid. It's like asking for food. - Yeah. I just asked for money, but you look good in suits. Yeah. - Why would it, what's the most amount of money have you spent on a suit? - I don't know. - Five grand. - Wow. - Yeah. - You still have it? - Oh yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You can't get rid of that. - Yeah. What brand was it, can you tell you say? - Um, where is it? - Uh, David August. - David August, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - It just fits right. Purple? What is it? - No, this one. - Purple. - It seems to me in a purple, like a light one. - I have water purple. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I do have one. - Yeah, dude, I know everything about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm really on it, yeah. Where are you guys watching? - I'm nothing, we're just happy to be here. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, that, yeah, that. I've seen you run that. - Wow. - Yeah. - Well, look at how handsome. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - It's really big. - Are you Asian? - You got Asian vibes. - Well, the purple suit you. - Your eyes have a, right in that angle. It's like, you could be half Asian. - You're the-- - But Cruz is Hispanic. - Come on. - All right, fuck her again. - Are you shameful of that? - No, it's a good thing. - Fuck off. - What are you doing here? - It's better than whatever you are. - I mean, you can come across-- (laughing) - I mean, what, do I really look Asian? - If that angle you kind of did. - Well, you look Chinese. (laughing) - You already said that. - Yeah, yeah, you got me kind of expressed. - You're not. - All right. - Yeah, right? - Now that you're retired, are you, what are you gonna, you're a great commentator and sports analysis. - Very nice. - You know, you really are. - Thank you. - Because not everyone can do it. You're presentable. I think bisming is good too, as a commentator and sports analysis. Is that what you're gonna do now for the rest of your life? And podcasting, and that's the direction. Where you start a school and-- I think you should start a school, right? And train people and-- - Like, Dominic Cruz School of Miami. - Yeah, these are the directions, right? These are the directions you go. Like, are you gonna start a school for comedy? - He kind of has one. - This is it, right? - Well, I think that I have a, I'm good at, this seems like it would be it. - I have young comics at the store. I think I do this more than anyone. I take more people under my wing. - Totally. - Do you think so? - Yeah, I do do, yeah. 'Cause I care about the future and I help. - Yeah, that's awesome. - Yeah, so, so yeah, similar. There's a piece of that, but also, you're kind of free like, if you're in a gym working at a gym coaching people, you kind of gotta stay in the gym 24/7 and can't really move around, right? - Just put your name on the fucking thing. You have someone, no, but you gotta teach. Like, it's like, nobody's gonna teach comedy the way you do. - All right. - You can bring people in to do it for you, but they're not as good as you, you know? - Yeah. - But would you teach up like guys that are definitely gonna go into the MMA or just open to the public? - Yeah, I coach guys now, but you want, obviously like what you're saying, if I'm gonna move into coaching, I wanna build like a team and you need people, right? But just doing work right now, I'm doing commentary, I'm fortunate to get to do that. And then, you know, I hurt my shoulders, so I haven't been in a lot of training. - What happened? - I tore, I just blew it out, fighting. But that kind of pulled me out of the coaching and now I've gone, I'm started to podcast stuff just because like you, I like to give back. And I feel like my mind can give more right now than necessarily my body can. - Well, you have, do you get MMA guests? I don't know, there are a variety of different people. - Everybody, yeah, you're invited. - Yeah. - Well. - Can we go? - Can we go? - Yeah, Travis Barker came on. We just had a, Matan isn't a fighter, but that was very interesting. - You had Matan on? What was that like? - Very, very funny. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, he's a funny kid. - He's a bizarre funny kid. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I would say, Mayhem was a trip. - Yeah. - He's also, you know, Herb Dean was in a fighter, that was random. - Or herb Dean, he was a ref. - He's a ref, I know him, yeah. - So, well, I just had a comedian on. I just had people, Pete Holmes. - Oh, look, Pete. - He was great. - That's a big one. - Great, he was awesome. - Yeah, we've never had Pete. - No, we need to get him. - How come you've never had Pete? Reach out, dude. - Oh, yeah, you should, he's amazing. - I know, I'm friends with him. I can't believe we've never had him. - Yeah. - There's a lot of people, you know that. - That would be the fight I would like to see. - What? - You versus Pete Holmes. - He's too tall. - Exactly. - That's why we'd be able to see Noat. - Brad Williams. - Brad Williams. - No, come on man. - This is the dwarf, the dwarf. I think I can beat him. - I haven't seen Brad Williams. - Let's see a picture of Brad Williams. See if I can beat Brad Williams. - I can. - Let's see. - Yeah, yeah. - I mean, do you feel proud of calling this man out? (laughing) - I do. - Let's say. - I say I do. - I feel confident about it. (laughing) - Yeah, yeah. For a win, I think I have confidence. - This is the other thing though. Like now, it's actually higher pressure if you think about it. 'Cause if you lose, what does that mean about you? - There's no shame. It's just funny. At that point, it's just funny. Bobby Lee lost to a dwarf. That'd be fine. - That'd be great PR, actually. - Really good PR. - Yeah, I would love to manage it. - Oh, you would like to manage that fight? - Yeah. - Okay. - Yeah, I'll beat that. - Yeah. - What? - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - No, I'll be the ref. - The ref. - Yeah, 'cause I'm a good grappler. I can take him down for sure. - Yeah, I mean. - Grappling is what? - Groundwork too, I think I'd be able to. I think I could control him on the ground. - Yeah, Bobby can actually wrestle. - Yeah, yeah. - Really? - Oh, yeah. I was not sure. - What was the nickname? - I saw your pictures, but I mean, how long ago was that? - They would do, you would do a Grammy role in competition. They would yield egg rolls. I was known for the egg roll. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You're so tired of the Chinese jokes. Just, they, he's just got all my life, you know? - Just sick of it. - Yeah, I got it all my life, but keep doing it. (laughing) - Is there even anything funny any more at this point about it? - It's true, nothing, but you know. - Bring me Panda Express. (laughing) - No, I mean, I just, I'm trying to bring authentic cuisine to you. - Yeah, yeah. - That really, you know, I'm a big. - Right, no, no, no, that's, that's the thing. - It was about that count, he did it. - How many people have broad gifts for him and he can be great? - No, you're Hispanic, when you're Hispanic, right? - I am. - Yeah, he's Hispanic. - What happened? (laughing) - Oh, different shapes and sizes. - Different shapes and sizes. - What happened? - What happened genetically here? - You think. - Do you speak Spanish? - I, vocal. - Oh, so this is different. - Okay, so you speak Spanish? - A little bit, like, not that fluent, but a little bit more, I don't know. - Yeah. - What's your family from? (laughing) - You know, 'cause there's different types and there's Latinos, Mexicans, Mexican, American, half. - So on my mom's side, English Irish on my dad's side, he's all 100% Mexican. - Yeah. - So, yeah, I mean, get some a little mix to both, right? - Yeah. - They say Ireland is like the Mexico of the US. - I've heard that. - Or the UK. - I think. (laughing) - Anyway, yeah, yeah, they did, yeah. - Yeah, I've heard that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Well, there was a lot of, I think you're talking about oppression. - Oppression, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I think Catholicism. - Yeah, Catholicism, yeah, yeah. - What is this? - Oh, I just wanna show dumb stuff. You're kind of your movement with your stand up. Like, these guys are slap boxing, but it seems silly, but he actually got a piece to show out of this kid. - Okay. - Oh, I see it now, though. - Do you see the movement a little bit? - No, you know, it's different, you know? - They just saw. (laughing) - He's actually pretty good at them. - No, he's, you know what it is? - He's, you're feisty. - Yeah. - I'm a feisty fucker. - You're an angry person. - Yeah, angry. - Oh, it's you? - That's you? - Yeah, I'll go fat I was. - No, you're an angry guy. - Look at my hand moves, dude. Up and down, dude. (laughing) - I call that the heaven and earth, dude. (laughing) - You don't know what you're looking at. - Dumb, what do you think of just the movement? - Oh, man, I mean, and he told me we were going, dude. Yeah, yeah. - We need to do this hypothetical. I think I could take, what am I doing? Okay, wait, what's happening? - Yeah, pushpots, pushpots. - No, yeah, pushpots, pushpots, pushpots, pushpots. (laughing) - I pushpots, okay. - Wait, I can't stop it. Hold on. - I can't stop. - And that's-- (laughing) - It's not what's supposed to happen. - Okay, okay, I don't know. - Sorry, sorry, I don't know what's going on here. - Yeah, that is, I get that. - That does that. - I'm not stupid. - I know that part. - Yeah, so dumb. I apologize for that. Yeah, I would never do that again. - That's actually my advice to anybody who's never fought before, just to make it in. - Yeah, that would be one of my moves. - Piss and shit on yourself, and nobody's going to touch you. - But I found that the UFC got more interesting when women started fighting to be out with you. - What made it more interesting to you? - I like-- - He loves you, Anna. - I like you, Anna, you're on Jake check when she first came on, but then I loved, you know what I mean? There's some of the drama between, especially the Rose, Nama Unis, that Chinese girl, what's her name? Wailing, Wang. (laughing) - Wailing, Wang. - Wailing, Wang. - The way, when fucking Johanna was on a streak, and she fought, not Johanna, yeah, Johanna, young Jake, and then Rose, Nama Unis, beat her. That was the most exhilarating fight I've ever seen. - Storylines. - The storylines about it, you know what I mean? - You like the storylines, thank you. - Yeah, and I liked when Rose beat that Chinese girl with that kick. - Remember that kick? This is how long ago, you know what I mean? I've watched the UFC, but I always liked, you know what I mean, what's her name? - Ronda. - Ronda, first came on, she was dominant, but then you know what I mean? Then these other women, Rose, Holly, Mom, all these people. I just like the drama of it, and you know, what's that girl, let me just see if I can figure it out. The fucking Eastern European girl, that's bad ass. - Valentina. - Valentina. - What's your last name? - Cheshanko. - Cheshanko, I know that one. - You know that one? - Yeah. - I just athleticism in them, and I don't know, it was just a fun one. - I'll say this, it's the fastest, like women are growing really fast right now in the sport, not just in MMA, but also number one, I think, with that it's growing the fastest for MMA as wrestling. Like watching women's wrestling explode right now. Might not be something that you guys know a lot about, but it's never, like growing up in high school, if you were a wrestler, how much did you get made fun of [BLANK_AUDIO] wrestler. Come on. None. Yeah, I completely are liar. They call me champ. So he got me to go to the champ. He made a fun of a lot. We're in the singlet and all that. But now women are doing it. Makes it not so weird. Right? Because that's the only thing you were scared of is like being made fun of by girls when you're a wrestler. Yeah. Now it's like girls are taking over the sport. They made fun of me just walking down the hallway at school. What are you talking about? I think in high school you were cool. I could tell by the anger you had in that fight. But look at this throw. Wow. That is beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful technique. Yeah. And they're getting better and better. There's a girl named Audrey right now. Himena is that's that she won state championships in Arizona and beat all the boys. No. In the boys division. It's amazing. She's amazing. Yeah. Literally. Yeah. It's actually insane. Yeah. So the women's wrestling is growing and then that's crossing. That's a piece that's crossing over to a women's MMA. But I think in general, women's MMA is going to blast off in the next five, 10 years. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. It's going to really be because you see younger girls that give in doing it. And when you see that, when they get older, they're going to be bad. Here's another sport that women are rising and skateboarding. Oh, yeah. Also. Yeah. You're right. Yeah. Yeah. Similar. Similar. Similar. You're holding holy shit. Yeah. Like some of the stuff that they're doing is like, wow. Like dudes can't even do that. Yeah. They used to be like girls don't do this. They don't fight. Yeah. You know, and now it's just like none of that really exists. And they're coming in there and they're doing crazy shit. And they eat it on skateboarding like really hard falls to get back up and they go back. I just love it. You know, man. And I think it's because I was so traumatized as a kid, right? I've always been, I've always rooted for the underdog. Yeah. I mean, like sometimes even in fights, if I watch an Emmy fight, the guy that's not supposed to win, I want them to win. So you're saying women are never supposed to win. No, no, no, no, no. That's what you heard. Yeah. That's what you said. I root for women because of the underdog. No, I'm just saying that I just want like, it's not that for me yet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The women comedy, right? Yeah. So there was a time in the 90s where I'm going to name the guys. But like, there was like, you know, Chelsea Handler, Whitney Cummings, all these young girls doing stand up. And guys would straight up go up to go get the fuck out of here. Women aren't funny. And I always hop to their defense. Like, what are you fucking talking about? They're funny than you are. You piece of shit. You're, you know, I mean, I've always been like that. That's why I've always like, a lot of my openers have been women on the road over the years. You know, I mean, I just support it because it's like, I just don't like when people are picked on or, you know, I mean, bullied in. So it's just like, when I see any group of people, like when the Philippines in general would win a gold, I don't have there in weightlifting. I think, you know, but like I, I, I, I, I celebrate that more because I just like, you know, I mean, the underdog winning. That's all. What's what? Yeah, no, I'm just wondering why. It should get a deeper applause than that. It should get a deeper applause. Yeah. Yeah. What's up, champ? What's up? Hey, roll. Hey, roll. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Kind soul. Yeah. Yeah. You're not like that. Tell me about your trauma that I want the under. Because you asked me about my trauma. You fucking bypassed it. Well, tell me about your trauma. Cruise. I trauma. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. My trauma was also being molested young. Okay. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Is that funny? Oh, no. Oh, it's getting just because the person didn't have Down syndrome doesn't mean that it's any less traumatizing for me. It's all the same, man. No, it's bad. A dick. A dick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. Yeah. Dicks. A dick. A dick. My grandfather used to say that. So don't be really got that big of a laugh on. They go, they go. You crap. Just tell you that. There it is. Anyways. I don't know if he's mocking. He's mocking. That's him. You know him. Oh, yeah, it's pretty funny. Sorry, Dominique. No, no, no, no. What was you called Dominique? Dominique. She's so nervous. Yeah. You call them Dominique. Okay. I got nervous. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So then was your father abusive at all? No, no. No. My dad was a methodic. So it wasn't really abusive. He just wasn't around. But the trauma is real Mexican. Yeah. But seeing that in your life, the abandonment must be traumatic. Yeah. Maybe it built me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right? Like how tough did it make you that that thing happened to you? Right? Like the variety of things. I think it made me, you know, when you're young and you're old. Now you always root for the underdog. Like you. But not just that. But not just that. That's where it comes from. That's the root of it. Right? You were the underdog in that story. But it's just not that. Technically, wouldn't the person at DownStanderm be the underdog? And you actually might have just been normal. I don't think so. He's 30. He's how old are you? 10. Okay. So if we looked up the intelligence. Oh my god. What are you analyzing? Aren't they around the same age mentally? So technically you were like going forward at this point in the middle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was mutual. Yeah. It was mutual. It was mutual. It was mutual. But it also toughened me to when I was 23 and just going up on stage, like no one else was doing it in San Diego and listen in my friend group or any, I didn't know anybody. And I went, I looked at that stage and I'll go up, you know what I mean? And the bravery of it, because it's, it's scary when you first go up. And so I think the trauma and all that stuff that I went through as a kid built me up a bravery. And also thrill seeking, because I'm a big thrill seeker, you know what I mean? So it's like I think that's, do you think that helped? Yeah, but also like an acceptance and a love from a group of people where you didn't necessarily feel it. All right. What? You're right. Is that not true? No, that's true. Okay. Say it more commanding though. Yeah. Like what you're fighting must, that must have, so the trauma of the thrill or trauma or thrill of the molestation for you is what motivated you to be the best comment medium. Bobby like built by molestation. I mean, you Hannibal Lecter. Like your mind works in the craziest way. Yeah. Yeah. You're a mind twister, dude. He not just say that. I don't know what you're doing, dude. I just said that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like what is going on here? Yeah. Like I'm trying to figure it out. I know you don't really confuse. Sometimes you don't have to figure it out. I don't know if you don't have to analyze it. I can't tell if you're motivated or traumatized at this point anymore by the molestation. I don't know either. And that's the mysteries of life. This is called a breakthrough. Oh, yeah. Don't never point at me again. This is healthy. It's healthy. This is healthy. Yeah. Yeah. This is good. This is healthy. Yeah. This is good. Do you feel relieved to just let that out? Not really now. Nothing for me. Yeah. Yeah. But it's you're an interesting guy. Don't you think that he's because he's bright. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's bright. You're a bright one. It's his first smart. Thank you. Yeah. You're like super smart. And I think your style of fighting reflects who you are. Yeah. Because, you know, his style of fighting is you don't touch me. I touch you. Now we're talking. That's how smart it is. His movement, right? Am I not right? You're right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Pop pop back out. Right. Great rustler as well. Right. But he is so evasive in the ring. So I'll tell you what I was thinking. I had to fight a lot of, I don't know if you've looked at the slew of guys that have been in the UFC, but they're absolute freaks of nature. Exactly. Right. When you watch them, you're like, how, and me being me, I'm like, I don't know how I'm going to beat these, some of these guys. And so I said, I got a, they're dumb. I got to be smarter. That's my best hope. I wanted to say that. And it's true. Yeah. So that's how I felt about is like, if I'm going to have a hope, I better use my brain because these guys are strong and fast. But if they can't touch me, if they can't grab me, and if they can't hit me, it doesn't matter how strong, and it doesn't matter how fast they are, right? Yeah. So, you know, that's why for you or how about this? For them, if you had them do their first set in front of a deaf audience, then they would just be winning all the time. Right? If they were doing a stand-up comedy in from a deaf audience, it would be a disaster. Why? Because it would be completely silent in the room. It's just like everyone of my shows. So it's okay. No, but they couldn't mess up. Here's the thing about the stand-up. Is it think about stand-up? That's the most important thing getting laughs. That's the measure of you doing well. Is the hearing of laughter. But here's the other quite here's the other thing. Not this. Yeah, but whatever they would make. How do you know that's not them laughing and you making fun of them laughing? Because they're not laughing at what they say. They don't know. They can't hear. I know. They know they're not laughing. So they're just guessing based on mouthfuls. So now you don't think they can read your mouth. You don't think they have those skills. This is all they do. You just can't hold them that high. You just hold them that little. They can't read them out. This is all they do. They can't hear. Of course they can read their mouths. The guy in the back of the room is reading your mouth. It makes no sense. What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? It's perfect sense. I just played I just played Bakersfield, right? There's balcony seats. They couldn't read my mouth, dog. No. Yeah. So give me another group of people. Then deaf people. For them to talk in front of them? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, like the Apollo theater or like, um, so like the like the Apollo theater, what black people? You're equating that to, yeah, it's hard to them. He's never apologize to a guest before. It's hard to manage you in this type of situation. Yeah, it's very hard. Yeah, how about, yeah, yeah, and he has cell class. Okay, English is second language. Yes, cool. Okay. So what if they did, um, comedy in front of people that don't understand English, but he speaks Spanish. Okay. So technically like some of the act they would get some of it wouldn't, so they're just going to laugh out of kindness and that could work for them, right? Yeah, you don't actually have to be funny, because they can't even understand them. Right. Okay. Right. How you that equating to your fighting style, those? Yeah, I don't know. I was like, we're the. Yeah, I don't know what the connection there was. It wasn't. Oh, it's just it's a part of your fucking head of electric. I got brain games. Yeah, you're brain games. No, I kind of got off track. You did. Yeah, yeah. It's fine. It's fine. What was the original question? We don't even remember. Really? What was it to do that? Yeah, yeah. Um, what happened to your finger? Yeah. Yeah. What do you mean? I had surgery on it. Oh, it just goes completely sideways. It broke. Well, I had surgery and then I tore it through the surgery. I've had like 10 hand surgeries. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You have control of it. Can you lift it up? Like I can't even do it. So yeah, I can bend it, but yeah, I can do it. It doesn't work. Can you just expose your that finger right now with the clothes and your other? No, you're using your thumb to. Yeah, I can't do it. I can only do this. I can't I do that. Is that right? No, you get to get your pinky down to like because I can flick off, but I can't flick off with them. Very good. All right. I don't know what we're doing. Perfect. Yeah. Well, this is what the podcast is. This is what we do. Meander. Side step. You know, what are you doing, dude? You're super good at it. Just one more question, actually. Do you ever crack people's backs? Yeah. Oh, nice. Yeah. If you want to you want to crack your back after the show? Um, maybe you can crack Bobby's back. My back's fine. Okay. Yeah, it's been cracked. Okay. I'll have it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do it. I'm a little back on the right. You got it. Okay. I'm a new fix my posture. So I'm going to ask you, Dom, if because we're trying. Are you going to get me in that November? Where was that fucking fight that happened? We want to try to get Bobby and go ringside to a fight. Can you help us do that? Well, they said no already. No, wait. I'm still waiting for paramount. The first fight in Vegas. That's in 24. 24. 24. And they said no. Yeah. They say no. I don't want to go. No, they haven't said anything. Yeah. I mean, I get a couple tell you I'll give you one. I'm there. But I want to be in the background. I want to be a runner. The cool thing. Dominic Cruz gets backwards. I mean, we'll get you decent. We'll get you something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like to go and, you know, when the cameras go wave or whatever. Okay. They don't do that. I don't know. I'm not big enough. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, well, Andrew Stantino gets it. He's my podcast partner on his cliff. He's there. Yeah. Why does Tony and Andrew get the wave in the camera? And I'm going to be in the back row. I don't want to go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a, it'll be embarrassing. I've been in the back row. There's no camera. You're, you're a Dom's guest. Yeah. You'll be all. Yeah. We'll take care of you in the back row. Bobby Lee, see 500. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like in the back like that. It's embarrassing. Yeah. Yeah. No. I mean, I couldn't do better. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's your, you know, you might be right. I don't know what they would give me. That's what I'm saying. I would like to say no way that you have, see, would give me shit seats for you, but yeah. I can't actually, I know Dana though. I've had dinner with him. Yeah. He's a nice guy and he think probably thinks you're hilarious. So I think you're best bet because you've had dinner with Dana. Yeah. Ask him. I don't know the direct, not lying to him. That's a problem. Yeah. Me neither. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. I don't have a direct direct. Yeah. Yeah. No. It's hard to. You gotta think like how many fighters you're trying to talk to Dana. If he has their, if he, what is Rogan still a commentator? Yeah. Forever. Also forever. So I can go through Rogan. Yeah. Also. Yeah. I think that'd be the fastest way you get whatever you want through Rogan. Yeah. Like I want to go to the, what do I say? Let's create the message now. The first paramount card. You should text it now. Let's do it while we're here. And then take a selfie with Dawson. Send a text to Joe right now. He's good. He's good. He's good. I would like. No, no. Here's no, here's the problem. I don't want to do it now. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. Here's the problem. You're gonna do it. Dawson. I know. I know. I know. Here. No, I'll tell you why there's the problem, right? I'm, I'm gonna, we're doing it on the pod, right? I'm gonna take a photo with Dom, send it to him, right? And he's very direct with me. And he could, he could quite possibly say, nah, I can't make that happen. Would you, it'll embarrass him and me and Dom in the whole situation, right? Right? And then I look like the biggest fool in the world. See how his brain works. He just, I go negative. He goes negative. I go negative first. Find a way to not take the chance. Yeah. That's interesting. I'll do it. Fuck it. I'll do it for the show. And then the next podcast we do, I'll get, I'll give you the results. There's like COVID. There we go. I think he's gonna hook you, because you, I think he likes you, you know? And I'll be honest, he gets way more, he'll get way more from the UFC than I ever could. And he'll get way better tickets because he's, he's been there forever. You know, the reason why Rogan is not just there because he's the greatest podcaster on earth, this point, but also because he was there for free before UFC was legal and before, you know, so he's like the guy that believed before it was time to believe. And I know how that feels as a business owner, anybody like, for instance, uh, originals family farm was the first, um, opening sponsor for me from my podcast. And it's like, that means a lot when somebody gets behind you before anybody knows if it's going to work or not, right? Joe Rogan did that for the UFC. So, I feel like that's why he gets, you know, he'll get whatever he wants. All right, so let's try it. I'm going to go this, this, can you read us the message? Yeah, I want to know what we, we're constructing the message together. Are you crazy? What are you doing over there? You've been, he's just on Instagram watching. Yeah, hold on, let's take a photo with me, Don, Don. Can do you want us to be in it or? No, no, please. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. That's pretty good. That's a good one. Ralph got seats. Ralph Aburaza is another comedian. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Why would Ralph get him and not you? I'm doing it. All right. So hey, Joe. It's so nerfy. Yeah. I'm very nerfy. Say, listen, if we're a tribe podcasting, right? He's the, he's the one of the tribal leaders. He's the guy, right? Yeah, but you're OG with him. Yeah, you're I know I am. I know I'm up there. I'm a part of the council, right? But like, you know, we, I rewatch Star Wars. I mean, I don't know how to do the force throat, you know, mean clamping thing. But you have a, you have a, that's what Joe does. He's, he's Darth Vader. I'm still a part of the circle. You know, the guy that questions is like, you know, I mean, you and your superstitious, you know, means for us, you know, mean, this and that, you know, I mean, you would be Luke. Oh, thank you, dude. Right? You would be Luke. You would be a jawa. What you call me? Yeah. A jawa. Yeah. I'll be a said lord. Hey, Joe. I'm with them. What's up, say, what's up, buddy? Yeah. All right. What's up, buddy? We're saying, or hey, hey, girl, hey, what's up, buddy? By the way, it's a jawa for everyone's brother. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Hey, Joe, so I was gonna ask Dominic for tickets, but I didn't want to be in the back. So could I get tickets from you? Well, that's funny. That's good. See? That's funny. Yes. How's global warming? He would understand that. He'd be like, I'm doing, I'm doing, can you help me get tickets? I didn't want to be in the back with Dominic seats. Yeah. Can you get, can you help me get tickets for UFC? What, what's it? Again, I mean, yeah, he's not wrong. I might, they might get a get back seat. They might shaft you through me. But if you go through him, you'll get a good. Hey, Joe, I'm with them. UFC 324 in Vegas. Can you help me get tickets for UFC? Yeah. Make sure they're better than Tony Hedgeclips. No, can you help me get tickets for UFC? We're helping this man. You know, a man. You know, see what? A man of new nez versus Kayla Harrison are the main event for, are a co-main event for that one. And you love the lady's division. So that's the one to be at. One month. It's one of the main ones to be at. That might be one of the best, you know, known as one of the best women's fights to ever happen since Ronda Rousey and Holmes, I'd say, right? Like up there in the, so I just put if not, it's cool. With Dom. I never did. I have the photo. Okay. Okay. Hey, Joe, I'm with Dom. What's up, buddy? Oh, what's up, buddy? Is weird. What's up, bro? What's up, buddy? Why are you saying it? This is the way I would say it. Can you help me get tickets for UFC 324? Just me and a guest. If not, that's cool. Two guests, but yeah. What? Me and one guest. Me plus one. Oh, yeah, plus one. Just me and a guest. The only two people. Yeah, so we can film it. No, come on. I'm not asking for three. Who are you bringing? Probably this fucker. Yeah, but I need to bring a guy. You want to go? I might be there. Well, he's going to already be there. Can I go for S for 500 bucks? Wait, if not, it's cool. Should have worked that. Yeah. You should throw up with Dom. That a little joke towards Dom. Like Dom Cedar, Dom can't get me seats. So I don't think it's a joke. Yeah, Dom. You're a world champion man! - No, don't make it worse. (laughing) - You're just-- - Dom seats are all in the five hundred. - Up in the balcony. - I've never asked him for this. I feel so-- - That's why it's so fun to do it here. - This is great. - This is awesome. - Here we go, I'm going to send it. - Okay, wait. - What was the last part you didn't read it? - I said Dom can't get me good seats. (laughing) - That's funny, that's funny. - Let me read it again. Let me read it again. - I'm going to read it again. - Yeah, here we go. - Thank you. (laughing) - Morgan, I'm with Dom. What's up, buddy? Just me and a guest. If not, it's cool. Dom can't get me good seats. (laughing) - Just in the shade. - I just sent it. - You're not wrong. - Wow. - How fast are you thinking of responding? - How is the pick? - Let's just say this. I think he has a lot of his plate. I think he's gonna be like-- - I can talk to him. - I think he's gonna be like, no. - Should do us. - I don't like-- - Can we have another song about it? - Yeah, yeah, okay. - What do we got? - I don't know. - Well, can you sing it? - I think you, it's Jesus voice is special. - What? - Voice is special. Go with it. Let me just feel it. ♪ Joe ♪ ♪ Rogan ♪ ♪ Please let me come ♪ - Paws. (laughing) - What are you doing, dude? (laughing) ♪ Joe ♪ ♪ Rogan ♪ ♪ Please let me come ♪ ♪ To UFC 243 ♪ - 324. - 324. - 324. (laughing) - 4, 4, 4, 4. Ready? Run, 2, 3. ♪ Joe ♪ ♪ Rogan ♪ ♪ Please let me come ♪ ♪ To UFC 324 ♪ - Come. - No, that's not it. ♪ Rogan, take it ♪ - Front row. - Not, I don't want a front row. I just don't want to be in the very last row, okay? - Okay. - Anyway, so Dom, you want to promote anything? Let's promote as a love and war with Dominic Cruz. Some call him Dominique. (laughing) - Some people. - It has happened. - It has been known. - So love and war with Dominic Cruz. Check out his podcast. You know, I'll be honest with you know, when I will tell me a lot on this podcast. Can I tell you 'cause you're one of, you're the Luke Skywalker of podcasting. Now that we've established that, I would say that you've taught me to have more fun. I need to have more fun. - Well, we have a good time. - We try to have a good time. - It's not easy, but you got good chemistry with everybody. That's part of it too. - I have to say another thing. - So I would say like they bring a lot to the table to where I feel like they deserve a little bit more. - Because without them, I don't know about this for a little. (laughing) - Got your good. - Yeah, you're good. Yeah, no, man. - No, I'm not. (laughing) - They got one, they got. - Yeah, I have to say this too. During the show, I kept looking over and I felt like Rob Lowe. Remember when Rob Lowe was here? I mean, in my mind, I'm like, I can't believe Rob Lowe is in my fucking house. - Yeah, he was nervous around Rob Lowe. - Yeah, yeah. - Rob Lowe. - It was like, I've been watching it. - I can't see Rob Lowe again. - You don't know Rob Lowe? - I do, if I see him. - This way. - Yeah. - Outsideers. - Oh, yeah. - That guy's. - He kinda looks like Zach Efron a little bit. - Yeah, yeah. - So when Rob was here, I was like, I can't believe Rob Lowe is my house. I felt the same way because I never thought I'd ever meet you. - Really? - Because I'm not in the UFC, I don't have nothing to do with him. And I'm a fan, so it's like. - He's been a walk, we used to have fight nights, we'd all watch your fights. - Yeah, yeah, I couldn't wait, you know what I mean? So it's like, I'm a fan. - We were saying to me and my friend here, we were saying the same thing about you, whether you wanna believe it or not. You're hilarious. So a lot of the same shit. Especially your traumatizing story about being. - Okay, okay. - Okay, okay. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And yours too, you were the last two. - No, but I didn't do it to the extent you did it. I was just okay with it. - Yeah, it was actually the underdog. You were the underdog, you know, he was the underdog in the situation. - The other guy was. - Yeah, so it's like, to let him win, I get it. And he won and mine was a little different, mine was worth it. - So hopefully, hopefully, I'll love and war with Dom E. Kuro Cruz. Also, I have a question. - Yeah, go ahead. - Can you go back to the Rob Lowe? - Yeah, you can go back to Rob Lowe. - What is, what is, that's William. I know that's William, is he dead? - No. - She remember. - Yeah, that was, that was when he had COVID and he was trying to take Ivermectin. - Yes. - Oh, that's right, that's right. - He looks very sad. - He looks sad there. - Yeah. - Anyway. - He's also 309 years old. - Next guest. - Next guest. - Okay, um, but Dom, it's remarkable how good, I mean, not remarkable. You're great at pods. You're so good. You're quick, funny. - You mean? - A little scary sometimes. - No, really? - But like in a good way. - How do I work on that? - Because I really try not to be scary. - Oh, no, no, no. - Oh, you're scary. It's your BDIs. (laughing) - I really don't. - Yeah, yeah. - It's dark BDIs, I don't like it in good way. - Good way. - A good way, a scary and a good way. - Yeah. - Yeah, but anyway, Dom, you're really good. I'd love to have you back, actually. - I'd love to be back. - You know, one next year, that'd be great. Be yearly guest. - Okay. - Be really nice. - Yeah, I think you're a star, maybe have you and Bisbegon. - That would be fun, that'd be fun. - Maybe not as interesting as you think, but maybe. - Oh, no, I'll start a war. - Yeah, yeah, it'll be a forever war, you know what I mean? - Yeah, yeah. So, um, give Dom and a caron of applause, everybody. - Thanks for having me. It's been fun. - You guys are awesome. (singing in foreign language) (singing in foreign language)