Doctor Hormone

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It's a standalone just like what single issue from dark horse, but it was in the like 93 92 and in looking for this, I'd discovered like a whole ad campaign for Nike. Are they the same size? Something happens to where Charles Barkley does that. I love that then. I like that either Godzilla got shrunk or Charles Barkley got jagged. Well, you would think if you were able to shrink Godzilla, you know, that you could defeat him. I feel like we're going to send it right next week, because I could do a solid 15 minutes on just shrinking Godzilla and what you should do with him. Sure. So I don't want to waste that now. Who couldn't? Exactly. And I came across while looking through some of our favorites, these old public domain comics. Yeah, I love that stuff. There was a publication else at the time, Dell comics, Dell Dell, do you have the computer? Oh, wow. The same, too. Okay. But is that how they started? No. I don't think they're really. Okay. But they released a anthology of comics monthly. Okay. Entitled. Love these anthologies because they didn't have to ride a whole lot. No, it was just like, just like give us four pages. Like, and that's the thing is all these, our character today is Dr. Hormone. It was from a popular comics was the anthology that Dell comics put out monthly. That's a weird way to do it. And it had, yeah, it had other stories in there like, because you have to read through, like I would scroll through to find his stories. But so the mast pilot was one. I think there was one like the tornado boys, tornado boys, yeah, I'm trying to think there was like, wow, Wally Wilbur or something, it was like two W's, but it's like all American boy. And it's like stories of him playing football and fighting and looking at Wally Wilbur go. Yeah. And we'll see. This is in 1940. Oh, wow. Yeah. So there's a lot of emphasis on just war in general. We heard there's a war, even in comic, but yeah. But our character today is Dr. Hormone. Okay. Don't know what his first name is. Dr. Never given. Maybe it is doctor. His last name is Hormone. It's weird. It's Dr. Dr. He deals with Hormones. Dr. Dr. Hormone PhD. Yeah. Exactly. Dr. Dr. And Dr. So, but it's his, so his legal name is Dr. Hormone for this. And yes, we come to learn that he studies things and is able to produce basically these Hormones. Okay. If you're hoping for an issue that like really tackles the science behind hormones and how everything works and that they're very like, you know, accurate and just any of the science makes sense. This isn't the book. Sure. Because we're going to find out really quick. There's blank Hormone that can do about anything that they're able to create with this stuff. Right. And now, a word from our sponsor. New Markdowns up to 70% off are at Nordstrom Rack stores now. And that means so many new reasons to rack because I always find something amazing. 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Yeah. Like, there's just little things that I do know that I don't even think about. That I still. Did you? Huh? No. That's not me. That's Zach Owen. And the immortal words for a sports station, the guy who's saying for Chicago, you can't remember that. Yeah. Well, I know the baby. Hard to have it to break. Yeah. Sure. There you go. Yeah. I thought that was good enough to say out loud. I appreciate it. Here we go. Mm-hmm. I'm going to jump right back in. Wait. We're not, we're not including any of that. You know. Go on. That's coming to go. It's here. All right. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. I started to cut back in. Now we just. Yeah. We pick it up. If you were looking for a science comic where it was accurate, accurate science at all. It's not here because you're going to find out that everything he produces is a something in hormone that will do just about anything. Drugs to the ladies. Great. It's like lazy that well that's that what is it an anchor man the panther? Yeah, but was it it works? Yeah, 60% of the time it works every time. Yeah, be great. If we could remember something a panther of us. Yeah. So let's just get back to Dr. Hormone. You got Dr. Hormone here. When we are introduced to him, he is kind of on his deathbed. Okay, right? Okay. He's a man in his 80s. Hormones can save you now, Dr. The doctors are the doctors that Sarah's basically has the heart of a 20-year-old but for some reason all of his other organs are failing. It's all those hormones. Yeah. Well, he's going to die. He doesn't know how to save it. His granddaughter, Jane, sometimes referred to as Janey. Jane Hormone. Yeah. Her name is Jane Hormone, which I'm assuming then it's stupid name. It's never given her last name. So they anyway. But she decides, "Hey, Dr. can I give him this live hormone he's been working on?" Doctors like, "Hey." Yeah. Doctors like, "Hey, it's not going to kill him." Like, "Hey, it's going to kill him." How do you know? He does it, but he's just like, "It's not going to make it any worse." Okay. Well, I guess he's got a point there. She kind of forces it, you know, passes lips. So slowly, just passing away and the neck, boom, he turns into a 20-year-old version of himself. That is Dr. Hormone. Pass the lips. Maybe his. Down the throat. Pass the lips. Over the hips. Here it goes. I don't know how that goes. But I think that's exactly how it goes. Something like that. So what we're dealing with here is our main character in the war. You know this? I don't know. You're Nazi historian? Yeah. Yeah. Big Nazi closet in my house. I'm going to have to start singing, you know, just maybe reconsidering, you know, podcasts come out here for a second. Yeah. Or just change the tone. That is true. We are no longer about comics. Nazis all the time, boy. So we're introduced here and he, man, this is so far off the rails. Yeah. I'm so sorry. Okay. Go ahead. I'm bringing it back in. Yeah. So Dr. Hormone here is now a 20-year-old version of himself. Okay. Um, he is brought over. We are introduced to a country called Nova Slavia. Nova Slavia? Nova Slavia. Nova Slavia. Nova Slavia. Nova Slavia. It's a small but profitable country, right? With what? I mean, how do they profit? We don't know. This is lazy riding. You are going to get lazy riding throughout this whole thing. Maybe that's what they're profit. I'm trying to set the scene because also what is interesting is this is not individual tales like a citizen anthology. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the story is continuous. It's like a long episode of Rocky and Bowenkel except not entertaining at all. Okay. Or entertaining for the completely wrong reasons. Yeah. So I'm fascinated by this. Whatever is going on there. Uh, truck darted off. I guess. Yeah. There we go. Yeah. So basically Nova Slavia is worried about Nova Slavia. Other countries invading this because they're small yet profitable. Timely. But radical. Exactly. But they don't have the forces to contend so they're offering anybody $25 million for a solution. What? Right? Okay. It's basically like a talent contest. How can you say of our country? The winner gets $25 million. Right. So, uh, Dr. Hormones going to show up with Jane because he takes Jane everywhere. Okay. She's in all these adventures. Yeah. Dr. Hormones shows up with his suitcase full of hormones to show off. What he can do. Sure. The guy packing the bags is there just to steal the hormones. Think about that. You had to get on a plane with a briefcase full of hormones. Yeah. That doesn't set off any alarms. No. Okay. Well, he's there for the $25 million. Yeah. But I mean, back in this time. Anyway, the guy handling the bag steals all his hormones. Okay. So he has to show up at the consulate there and be like, hey, I'm Dr. Hormone and they're like, oh, yeah. How do we know you don't have any hormones on you? They basically don't believe that he's a doctor. That's his, that's his, like his name tag. Yeah. But they don't believe him. He's like, well, show us what you can do. Oh, you don't have anything you can do. While this is going on, his daughter, or his daughter, his granddaughter, Jane slips a pill into one of the members of the ministry of war we introduced his name is, his name is Rassanoff. He is the main, he's going to end up being the main villain for the first part of this story. How could he not? His name is Rassanoff. Oh, just wait. They like their own jokes so much they change his name later on. Oh, neat. So Jane drops a pill in his coffee. And what happens when he takes a drink of it, Rassanoff basically sprouts like ears in a tail and he turns into half a donkey, he's half man, half donkey. That sounds like my, my ex wife. If you haven't guessed yet, then joke that they make later on is they call him in there Assanoff, obviously, because he's a donkey. Yeah. Boy, oh boy. He is referred to as Assanoff after issue three. This is, okay, so here's, here's so much ADHD I have or whatever. There's a guy that's turned into part of a donkey here. But what I'm fascinated with is this goose that had to get out of the way of the car. I didn't even notice the goose. There's a goose having to get out of the way of the car. I didn't even notice a goose getting out of the way of the car, but so basically it's like human Pinocchio and he's turned to half donkey. But it does, it does from the pill, from the pill that she put his drink. These people are just willing, nilly with exactly that's it. They play God all the time and nobody cares is about to find out. But they just give Hitler a donkey pill and then it'd be done. Well, this produces maybe one of my favorite panels says though, Assanoff can still talk and think like his old crafty self, Dr., Dr. hormones, powerful hormone has given him all the strength of a donkey. Yeah, he's kicking a gun. It is my favorite description of a page I've been able to read so far. I liked the fact that when he kicks somebody, it explodes. Oh, it does. What's that donkey? It's a donkey punch literally once a donkey with your feet. So he's trying to get away. We find out that Assanoff, we're just going to call him that's what the writers call him, was the one who set up the stilling of the hormones in the first place when he rode there because he's a spy for Eurasia. Eurasia? That's right. Eurasia is the country that's trying to evade Nova Slavia. Was Eurasia a thing in 1940? I should have checked on that. You know, like a real thing. I mean, I know it was a real thing at one point. Yeah, one point. I was. But that's what I was going to make the joke is you make up a country, but then use a real country that's invading the real countries invading them. Yeah. So, um, but he's not able to get away. He's trying to get away with both the hormones and doctor hormone, right? So the Eurasians can use him. He's not able to do that. So then, uh, basically, Assanoff is able just to get away with the hormones. Yeah. I love the fact that his name is Assanoff. Yes. And like they keep it rassing off the first couple of issues and then they change it. Yeah. Two Assanoff. Yeah. Like they love their joke that much. Yeah. Yeah. So how they were, that was, that was smart writing back then. Yeah. No, for sure. Oh, by the way, I didn't mention, uh, this is a character. The stories for the most part are all written by, um, RS calendar. No, no, if that's a pin name or not. Yeah. Um, and the first, there's seven appearances of Dr. Hormone and the first five, uh, appearances are drawn by Robert Bug, who he kind of feels like we all become a family later because he starts going by Bob Bug. Bob Bug. So, uh, wow. Nice job. But I forgot to give credit there. So those are, those are not real names. Nobody's last name is Bug. It look right there. No, no, no, no. I'm saying I, I fully believe you. The fact that don't you dare question him, I, I just question the fact that that could exist that somebody's last name could be calendar and bug. Well, I'm sure it is. There's a lot of last names out there. Yeah, I guess so. I mean, I'm trying to think of the last names I know Smith, you know, I mean, but there's Jason. I don't know. We all know weird last names here. I don't want to put anybody, put anybody on blast for the last name, but if your name is Bug, please contact us. Contact Mike. Call him and ask me. Contact me. Ask me why I'm doing the movie phone. Exactly. It's right. So Dr. Hormone, now without his hormones, the prime minister, those like Dr. Hormone, we do want to go with you. The prime minister. The prime minister. Sure. Of your agent. Or of of Donkyville or whatever. No, not the Slavic. No, the Slavic. Okay. His name. Here's how lazy they were. So rassing off. Assing off the bad guy. Yeah. The prime minister. Smart enough. No. Come on. What would be better is if his name was like, Jim, minister or some smart enough. Yeah. And the head of defense is Battlesky or Battowski or whatever they want to go. Battlesky. Battlesky. Loyal. But hot headed. Shh. Oh, it says chief. The way that it's lettered, it looks like chef. Maybe he was. He's the hot headed chef. Anyway. So Dr. Hormone is now without hormones. By the way, I got to stop you for one second. I just want to compliment you on your printouts, your quality of material here. Okay. Because you've really overdone yourself. I mean, it's really not a good, it's a real compliment. Yeah. Have you not given me real compliments? before. Well, no, but yeah, this is the first one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I'm just impressed. Now I'm just going to count this as the one compliment might gave me. I mean, he did compliment me that one. Well, we're live. So yeah, that's nice. Thanks. If people knew the monster, you were out there. That's right. That's right. Yeah. So back to the story, Dr. And I'm I hate orphan. I'm just having to set up the beginning. It's going to take longer. The other ridiculous stuff will be able to die. Build the story. Uh, basically, Dr. hormone is without hormones. Okay. Uh, and so there's no way for him to, you know, he's like, I'm going to need that. Use that 25 million to hire people and start working on. Sure. Yeah. So I need to test subject on my youth hormone to make sure it's good again. Okay. I have it down. Okay. Prime ministers like, well, I'll go ahead and volunteer for it. Okay. He gives it to him. And there's a panel. Where is it? I have to find it. I love this. I want to read it too. Cause it just made me laugh reading it. So this is the prime minister. This is the prime minister. Well, it's an offer. Whatever his name is, smart enough, smart enough, who's taken the, the, he's about to formulate the reform, the youth hormone hormone. And see, well, doctor, if you're willing to assume responsibility for the death of the prime minister, I'm more than willing to take a chance at becoming as young and handsome as yourself. Oh, five minutes later. Now I'm doctor hormone. He's dead. It's a great good man killed, a great good man killed by stupidity. Jamie, what can we do? What can we do? This is where they hide the body. Okay. And then no, I'm kidding. So basically though, Jamie, while this is all happening or Jane is just crawling around on the gamma rays. Look at her. And she accidentally falls in her, the back of her dress gets caught on a handle. Okay. That turns a gamma ray on that zaps him and he wakes right back up and he's 20 years younger. And, and what we, what we did not realize at the time, this was the birth of OSHA. So basically, he then turns her and goes, you little scamp, you know, scamp, you've turned the trick again, which is a weird thing to say now, but I guess in the 40s to say your granddaughter turned the trick again. I must have used a slightly different formula and it needed a longer ray exposure. Oh, silly me. Oh, goofy. So now he knows his pill works. Do you want to know what he decides to do with his pill as he goes across Nova Slavia? First they go to like wards where there's sick people. Sure. And they encounter he goes, let me see the sickest person you have here. Dr. hormone asked the head doctor. Wait, you, you can heal sick people by just making them younger by giving them this youth hormone. Okay. All right. Well, it's all these, these hormones that he made, it doesn't give names for them all, but it says show me the most ill patient you have. Yeah. The gypsy woman is rumored to be over 120 years old. The gypsy woman. Well, after taking the youth hormone, she looks like Betty Davis. So, uh, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he also as I give this to him. Oh, look at that. Yes. Also, there's a sick and dying infant to where he gives his youth hormone, or it doesn't sound like it is. Yeah. Save my baby. Dr. Save my baby. He gives him it. Oh, it works. I cleaned for God. He has to learn to walk and talk after this though. I'll stop cradle snatching. No. Yep. And, and it's a grown man. She's turned in tricks. Now it's cradle snatching. Now it's a grown man now and his mother's arms going goo goo to it's a big baby. Wait, wait, wait, he turned the sick baby into a man into a grown man. That's an adult baby. How? Doesn't that go against like what he was trying to do? Yes. Just wait because you know how they built up their army. That's right. They convinced the boy scouts into taking pills, turning them into soldiers. Sure. Dr. Hormone is playing quick and loose with physics and is playing God. Wow. It is basically turning old people young, young people old and basically making child shoulder, a child shoulder child soldiers. Yeah. This country's army. He's, he, I just, I can't get over this. And he is good guy in this. Yeah. Yeah. Boy. So we were searching for a hero. Then, uh, Asanoff takes the hormones back to, uh, okay, say that like it's a real thing. Eurasia. It is. I mean, that's his name. Uh, other things we can get into now after we've set the main stage. And we know how it works out. Yeah. In the second issue, the second, I'm not going to call them issues because they're just stories. Right. The first pay or the first story is the longest. It's like eight to 10 pages. Okay. That's what I was going to ask you. Yeah. And then everyone after that is shorter. And you're looking at like six, six, six tops, something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like 68 pages per this book. Okay. All right. So it's one of like eight stories. That's a pretty big. Yeah. It was, it was a thick book. Um, popular comics monthly. We're going to, was we're going to hit them with quantity, not quality. Well, also what happens basically in the second story that we get to, um, doc, basically how he avoids the war that's going to happen between Eurasia and Nova Slavia, is he has rigged the bombs. Yeah. He has called them like, you know, he's told me he's working on this deadly gas. But what it really is, as it's a gas that when you inhale it, it turns anybody whose nationality is not Nova Slavia. Come on. Let me find it so I can read it verbatim to you. Here, uh, I developed a hormone gas, which went inhaled, subtly transform any nationality into loyal Nova Slavians to win official sanctions. I had to say that I developed a deadly gas. So he's basically saying I had to tell y'all that I was, you know, making this deadly gas. You'd let me build this giant bomb. Yeah. But really I was doing something much worse. If you think about it, I have created mind control bomb gas. Mind control bomb gas. I mean, he's saying, yeah, whoever inhales this subtly transforms into it, the loyal to another national. That's really great. Right. Boy, if we only had some of that now. So issue three is where things get even fun here. Drump. Sorry. I think we got it. Okay. I got it. Yeah. Sorry. I just don't want to make sure that was clear issue. All right. Again, I want to call issues. Appearance three is where we get a little weird. And I only have the first two with me. I have the other four at home. Yeah. Didn't bring them with me. But I'll let you look through this one where stars and win one of the 50 prizes. I made sure to include that. Yeah. That's very nice. And that's the thing is on the back of one of the others. I made sure to include like the whole page of ads. I was like, Mike would want to see. Oh, I love those. Yeah. I know. And then I forgot at home. That's okay. So I'll bring it next week so you can still look through it. We can talk about it. I'm looking forward to this big action packed episode next week, where we got Charles Barkley. Got some ads. Yes. And ads. So, um, basically what happens on the third one, assing off, finally decides, uh, we'll attack with germ bombs over the capital here. Yeah. And they do. And so everybody's, like, super sick and on the cuss of dying from these germ bombs. Uh, Dr. Hormone is off trying to figure out a cure for this. Uh, there's a scene where they attempt to bomb the building that he's in. And just like a Mickey Mouse cartoon, the ground opens up and the whole building he's in slides underneath it. And the grass rolls over like it wasn't even there. Yeah. Well, and you're also dealing with a universe here where birds have bombs in their town. Well, that's what I'm getting to. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. So, assing off things. Hey, if I just wear a hat, nobody in a mask, nobody will know, not like a mask, but like, you know, one of our just face masks. Right. Nobody will know that I'm not Dr. Hormone. And they'll believe me and take this vaccine that I've made. Yeah. No, don't worry about the years. Don't look at the years. Well, it's under a hat. Oh, okay. Put these giant ears under a hat. Yeah, it's in there. And it's also like he has donkey legs too. We've seen before. Oh, no. And it's not like they're not going to notice that. No, because, uh, where is it? Yeah, right there. He's like, all I got to do is wear a hat. And they won't know it's me. Oh, my God. So, but he was hormone. Oh, I didn't tell you to the people of Nova Slovenia love Dr. Hormone so much that he's kind of like, um, he's kind of like a dictator in a way. Yeah. But he doesn't give the orders. It's super weird. But the people love him. So, Asinov has taken all Dr. Hormone's hormones. Yeah. And just like mix them all together. Yeah. He thinks that he's created something that'll basically make everybody who's, uh, you know, Slovenians. I don't even remember it. No Slovenian country. Yeah. Novos Slovenians. Thank you. Um, yeah. Basically we'll turn them into your Asians. Like he's trying to pull what that's not the way it works. I know, but he's trying to put with just injecting you with something. Um, what it does instead is it turns the people of Nova Slovenia into animals. Mm-hmm. It turns them all into animals, almost the entire population. Yeah. Um, there's one down there at the bottom. There's, oh, is that the man turns into a kangaroo Yep. With a pipe in his mouth. He does. Ho ho ho. Bill's turned into a kangaroo. Hey, somebody pick your pocket don't know what that means well, he's got the pouch. Oh, I got you, but but he can still talk because he says yeah, well, it's a swell place to carry bombs bombs for your Asians. So these people get turned into animals. And instead of being freaked out, they now think what can we use our animal powers to help the country exactly. Right. And this one says wow, wow, look, Magache. We're hyenas. Yeah, wow, wow, look, Magache, we're hyenas, can we make a t-shirt? Well, first piece of merch, we're just says, wow, wow, look, Magache. I don't even think we include the hyenas thing. I think we just say, wow, look, I think that's I think that's an age actually, I think we're just blind. Oh, isn't the lettering. I am blind. I don't know, but that could be higher, higher, look. Either way, it's not good. Higher, higher, look, that's my gosh. Higher, higher, look, my gosh. Well, and then the other guy says, higher, higher, higher, what's so funny? Oh, man, they're hyenas are dead on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's funny because somehow like everybody that works in a job that could benefit from that animal power does. Like a squadron of flying officers received their wings that last wings of eagles, you know, and then yeah, so they're half bird man, they have bird men are like, hey, I never thought that I would long for black condor. But that story makes more sense than any of this right. Just wait. Like a taxi cab driver, I guess gets turned into a horse that he has to ride later in this, the parents. Sure. And the horse says, I'm installing a meter and radio next week. Then I get a union card. This horse, this horse has got jokes. There's also he goes, I said, that'll be six bits. There's also so long everybody. I got to go see a man about a horse blanket. Oh, and then he's teasing at the end. Hey, did I ever tell you about the time I won the derby? That's all those jokes in one page by this. That's the only time the horse appears in the entire appearance. I like how you sell jokes. I like how the horse is talking to a dog that's as big as the horse by the way, he's a bloodhound. So he has a cop hat on. Oh, yeah. Well, it's either that they couldn't figure out how to put the magnifying glass in his hand. So Paul, the other weird things that happened throughout these issues. Of Dr. Hormone, because oh, I didn't tell you so Eagle flyers prepare for action. All the other Nova Slovians decide we're going to use our animal powers. And we're going to go bomb your Asia, then. Well, Dr. Hormone doing his math realizes weight. That's going to wear off in five hours. Oh, so they have to send, of course, all the male people who are courier pigeons or doves or whatever they are. I guess some their flyers slightly faster bird. But to go catch the other guys to tell them to turn around. We just need a slightly faster bird. But don't worry. They don't have to worry about it because in the next appearance, they are in the next appearance. We find out as an office kidnap Jane. And they just hear that on the radio and turn around and come back anyway. So like that is completely dropped. I just I just eat. Okay. So if anybody's looking at this, I just want you to see the bird with the human face. That's one of the creepiest things I've ever seen. Some of this old art like this is creepy to begin with. Yeah. But the fact that it's a man face on a bird. Let me close out these birds. They're human size. Wow. Like I mean, like right. Yeah. I guess so. They'd have to be. Yeah. They're gigantic. Let's get to the nest. Let's get to one of the weirdest things. So out of everything. Oh, we're not there yet. Um, so Jane is kidnapped. Dr. hormone goes to save her. This could be the origin of Captain Carrot and a zoo crew. You could be if you want it to make it. Yeah, you're having the other somehow. Um, but it was hormones. It was hormones all along. But, um, so when Dr. hormone goes to Asanoff's castle to basically like, you know, get her back. He's thrown in to like a prison with her. Well, what happens is it's just them and her flee circus. They're just enough space for you. You're granddaughter in her flee circus. When did, when did that happen? When did a flee circus show up? Well, here's the thing. Those fleas are people. Oh, no, no. So she has a flee circus that she's carrying around that she's keeping pets. She's keeping pet fucking people. Oh, wow. That's not good. No, but it's like, it's just pumped. It's just a flee circus. Yeah, if we don't think, if we don't think about it, sure. But it's just funny to think about because what he does is he's like, you know what we can do? And he pulls him out and he is able to. I don't know if he has an on him, but he turns them back into humans. But when he turns them back into humans, they retain their flea powers. Wait, what are flea powers? Well, apparently, you can jump around so quick that you can dodge bullets. Oh, that makes sense. And you have super strength. Yeah. Yeah. From this point forward, the five men that he turns from fleas back into humans are his bodyguards. I don't, I can't tell you the number of times in my life. I've heard somebody say the power of a flea. You know, that sort of thing. Yeah, that's. Well, it's enough for them to eventually lift a train. Oh, so, but they're able to get out. They defeat Asanoff and everything's good over here. We go back now to our note. Now he's, we're still here in this country, but the war is over. Okay. And one issue we're met with this guy comes up to him and says, God bless America. He's like, you're not American because apparently nobody who, if you're not American, you can't say it at the same time. Sure. But he's trying to set up a meat for like some other like minded, like the FBI wants to use them to help him fight the clan. Sure. Yeah. Because it's also for the hormones. Now that we've done fighting for the, you know, saving this nation, let's fighting against the clan. Eurasia. Eurasia. Sorry. Um, basically in that issue. Um, this is crazy. So, dude, they're on a train. Like, okay, they're on a train headed to Knoxville. To Fort Knox. I'm sure. On the way there, the Ku Klux Klan, who was working with, uh, there's another country that we find out that's working against America. Uh, that's Nazi. Nazi. Nazi. And it's not, and it's not Zians or people from Nazi. Wonder who they were trying to talk about. They're working with the clan, though. Okay. And so the clan is trying to stop. I mean, it's trying to stop, uh, Dr. Hormone from getting to wherever he's doing to do whatever he's doing. And they tie him to what he's doing. And his daughter, as grand daughter, Jane, up to a cross and they lied him on fire. No, dude. Um, but you want to know how they get saved. Yeah. Uh, you remember those flea boys? Okay. That were a bodyguards. They apparently remembered calls and they start rubbing their arms and all nearby flea. The nearby fleas swarm, uh, and are able to suffocate the fire out. Like it's a blackout with how many fleas show up. What the hell does happen? Then the fleas attack the Klansmen or as they call them clockers. That's what they call them. Clockers. Yeah. Clockers. This is a kid's book, by the way. Klux. Clockers. Yeah. Yeah. So, uh, the fleas attack the clockers and they can't quit itching. And, um, they decide not, hey, maybe water, uh, you know, maybe I should change. They decide nothing is better than the sweet, sweet release of death. And they run into a fire. That's right. Fleas kill all the clan members, including the main. I'm not kidding. That's what happens in the issue. This is crazy. I told you. That's why this took over. This was written in an opium din somewhere. Right? Yeah. Uh, then the very last appearance of making sure that I've covered everything. Yes. The very last appearance is by far one of the worst I've ever read. Yeah. Yeah. Any comment. Yeah. And there's a character introduced called the thinker. Okay. And basically what happens is not the DC guy, not the DC guy. Yeah. There's, there's multiple thinkers. Okay. I've, I've included some of these panels so I can show you. Wow. There's the cross burning. Yeah. Wow. That's actually in here. Uh, offensive. But, uh, so we didn't write it. I mean, you know, but like it's, it's actually there. This is the forties. Like they didn't care. Yeah. Also, you can see like the fleas, like, uh, approaching, no, put it all out. And then I can't remember to say, yeah, you see the actual blackout there then. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. On the next page. And then you also see how the clockers as they're called have decided to run into the barrels of gasoline instead of dealing with the fleas. Yeah. Sure. But that takes us to the thinker, which is somehow worse of it. You ever had an itch that bad that I thought, hey, let me run into a fire. Right. No. No. I've had poison ivy many, many times. I've had it. I don't remember this. And this is probably embarrassing. Yeah. Um, oh, me too, everywhere. Is that what you were. Yeah, I got it. I got it. I had it everywhere as well. I got on my took us. And oh, no, I had it. The other side around where lemonade's made. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I had it there. That's right. Yeah, I had it there and then I would need to work for Beyoncé, didn't I mean, didn't she say that? No, her album was lemonade. Oh, okay. Sorry. But I had it and it was, like I say, it just got everywhere, right? And you can tell how I spent my free time, but it started to go away. And then I got it again. It was like, it was like two weeks that I had this crap. I was, I just couldn't keep my hands to myself. Well, I could, I guess. Oh, that's, yeah. It was rough. Oh, no, but still, you didn't think about running into a fire. No, I really didn't think about running into a fire. Wow. I just wanted to take a shower all day. These are the world's worst fleas, but which is how it all started. Um, it all starts in this issue. Dr. Hormone gets a telegram from the White House, Dr. Hormone, not Zian. Stop. Not Zians have crossed Texas border, hurry or your work will be useless. Not Texas. The president. He signed the president. Stop. Ah. That's good. And it says suddenly from nowhere, from everywhere, a mysterious voice feels the room. And it's a big yellow, just like lightening speech bubble that says, I am the thinker Hormone come to me. And the whole issue or his appearance is him just following this voice. That's all I met my wife. He's, she was like come to me. Yeah, she was the one that said, yeah, yeah, I am your wife come to me. This whole time he's just following this voice, yeah. Right. Then, um, at one point in time, people are still after him. Yeah. Uh, but things, the thinker is able to kill off the people like behind him. He gives Dr. Hormone his power for a little bit, which all we know is Dr. Hormone yells at a plane that says, stop that diver, I'll blow you out of the sky. And they don't. And he honestly blows like this red breath at them and they fall and crash and then run away. But there's no explanation as to how he got the red breath. No, it just says the thinker has lent Dr. Hormone some of his power. He just yells at planes. It's that the thinker has lent Dr. That's all it says. Sure. Then, uh, they basically still the plane and they're just flying towards the voice him and Jane. He's taking Jane with them or Jane, why do these kids always get roped into this shit, but he's flying through towards the voice and then eventually like they just hop out because they're out of fuel and they just start parachuting down wherever they just hop out because they're out of fuel and they start parachuting through time. Mike. Oh, they pass like the like a Viking ship, yeah, in Rome burning and like dinosaurs and cavemen and then they're like, he's like, we're traveling through time to wherever the thinker's at. The thinker's like back in. That's what you happen. That's what happens to you when you jump out of a plane. I'm here. Well, back in, I guess. Oh, I don't know. But so we've solved it since. Yeah. Yeah. We nobody fall through time. I guess. Uh, but they see like cavemen and then Dr. Hormone goes, well, there's not much left of our time, you know, with the world and all of a sudden it turns into fire around them. Fire is not like burning up their parachutes and all of a sudden they land in front of like a path of pantheon, partheon, what is it, you know, we have the, yeah, Greek. And it just says, you were in the presence, are you were in my presence, Hormone? You may not see me yet. To see me is to die. And then the very next panel, sleep now and tomorrow or yesterday, we just go. Or yesterday, I got to get through this whole thing, sleep now and sleep now and tomorrow or yesterday, we discuss or discuss the defense of times beloved America, mankind's last hope on earth. What lies in store for Dr. Hormone and Jane, followed their adventures and next month's issue of popular comics and then they never appeared, never wake up. So that's what happens to them. You want to know? Still asleep, wait to find out who the fuck the baker is and what he does. Wow. We, this was, this was quite a journey. Yes. Yeah. But you did go past the ads. Well, there weren't, that was just a contest. Oh, after bringing that, I really like the Dr. Hormone thing because it was just not so crazy. Yes. I mean, I, imagine being a publisher. And you like have to approve this. Yeah. You're like, oh, yeah. Oh, I see. He turns into an ass. Sure. Okay. Yeah. Oh, the fleas. Yeah. Now I get it. Yeah. No, it, none of it makes sense. It's all absolutely crazy. All right. Just real quick. She retired from movies in 1940 at the ripe old age of 11. Surely temple. I don't know. He was named the king of motion. Pick. Sure. Okay. That's the biggest problem I have with any of this. Okay. It's not Dr. Hormone. It's not the insane writing. You know what it is? It's the kerning. Though. I can't stand this kerning. Look at granddaughter. Jant. Grant. Oh, I don't like the kerning. Grant. You knew you were going to run out of room and you didn't anyway. It's just kind of lazy. The word the word granddaughter is spelled g-r-a-n-d-d-u-g-h-t-r. That's just lazy. Oh, man. No. So Dr. Hormone. There you go. Greatness from that. It's per pass to us. And that happens all the time. It was so hard to read that like, like Mike said, the kerning is. Yeah. The kerning is terrible. It's terrible. Well, it's according to your view. I guess. I guess. Yeah. There you go. I don't know. Dr. Hormone, his granddaughter Jane, the treacherous Nova Slavian war minister Asinov, battle skier Batowski, the Nova Slavian warlord, and smart enough, Nova Slavian prime minister, all of them. We miss them a do. He sounds so disappointed. In the fact that somebody came up with this. No, it's not that. It's just because after all the craziness, like. It was going even crazier. There was a voice that beckoned him out of the sky, like, I don't know. I want to know what was playing because I read all that to you in my mind. It just runs for seven months, right? Right. So a couple of things happen either because they switched, uh, drawers or artists, artists, drawers. Well, it says drawn by here. They switched their drawers. Yeah. Uh, but they switched artists. So I don't know if maybe, you know, there's still more of a ton of issues of popular comics after this. Right. So there are. Yeah. It's not like the comic stop. No, they just went. He stopped. So I don't know. I want to know if they went in there for ish or for a parent's aid and he was like, okay. So the thinker, this is what's going to happen now. And they finally were like, you're nuts, uh, RS, yeah, RS calendar. Yeah. I mean, RS calendar, you get out, you know, the entire populace loses consciousness. Yeah. It's all through that. It's, I mean, they were probably just trying to get out as much as they could. I don't think they necessarily cared this to me. This panel right here, it looks like one of those Christian tracks, like, you know, those little pamphlets that you would get to say, you know, we were all going to hell or this is when the, yeah, that's what that looks like. But also you bring up another good point, um, if you're able to look and you can find this, um, I think it's comics plus is the website for anybody out there. Yeah. Uh, they have a great collection of public domain comics. You're able to go and look at fantastic, um, but in basically all of these panels, I've never seen a comic that'll explain like everything that's happening. Yeah. That is weird. And then voice everything that's happening. That is weird. Yeah. It's almost filler. It's almost like they just got over silent movies or something, you know, I mean, it's 1940 into 41. So easy sister in a minute will be out of sight going down everybody, hang on. It was weird. It was a weird ride. But again, I want to read Boku is a graveyard, by the way. That's the capital of Nova Slavic. Sure. Boku. Boku. I would like to read again. My favorite thing from this before I close out though. Please do. Please do. Oh, Asinov can still talk and think like his old crafty self, Dr. And now a prayer or no, it does feel like it does. It feels like we're out of the sun. Yeah, it's like you finished a sermon or something. Yeah. So next week, though, we have, uh, we get to look forward to Charles Barkley. This was fantastic. By the way, great research, yeah, love it. I'm going to try to get into some more of these. I've come across some, I mean, it's garbage, but still you did a great job of presenting the garbage. Thank you. Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. You're a great garbage man. Oh, well, thank you. Sure. That's two compliments. Do you mean that one too? I do mean that one. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So let's do it one night. You did it. So some marquee night. Well, my wife's out of town. Oh, okay. Uh, Batman's on HBO Max. Yeah. I saw that. I'm going to watch it again. Are you? Because I love this movie too much. Yeah. It's a very good movie. I just, I have a hard time. I'll probably watch it in spirts now, though, that I can't. what the long box says. Oh, I forgot. They didn't like it. You know, though, I usually like a lot of other stuff to have. So we'll. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. All right. Next week, got Zilla. This is Charles Barkley. Plus ads. Plus ads. So we have a lot to get into them. As always, well, I mean, yeah, when you're this. Yeah, sure. Just kind of. I got to, it's too much. But she's one room with the three. Is that an invite? My foot's under the table. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. Like we're on podcasts. And you had so many ways that you're just like quietly. Just give me that nudge. Just kick under the table. Gonna come over and pretend to be a donkey, but no, we're gonna put it. All right. Good night, everybody. No, it was great. Thank you very much. I appreciate it. So as always, thank you. There we go. As always, thank you for listening. Find us Instagram, bros, foes, heroes. Him, Ellis. If you would like to tell us what you think, who we should dive into. If you have any, uh, inclinations of somebody to do that, they're sure. Did I? Oh, our in studio producer, kind of. And I thank you. So on Instagram, it's bro, foe, hero. Okay. No. S. All right. Great. So I've been doing it wrong all the time and wonder why nobody can find that. That's on me. Like I have nobody else to get mad at by myself. And Mike, I'll get mad at Mike too. Yeah. Sure. So you can also go to rogue media network dot com. That's true. You know, it's bros foes and heroes at gmail.com. Yes. That does have the yes. Yes. Rogue media dot com. Tons of great content network. Excuse me. Rogue me in a network. Everybody says it that way. It was already taken. So I couldn't use it. Rogue media network. Yes. Dot com. Any longer and it'd be illegal. I like that tagline. Yeah. Thank you. So, uh, until next time, thank you, everybody, for listening. We appreciate it as always. Stay safe. Bye. Got to go. Frozen. Frozen. Heroes. Gonna tell you about. Frozen. Frozen. Heroes. This has been a rogue media podcast. Everyone talks about how challenging it is to raise kids. But what about protecting them? Outlet covers. Kitchen cabinet locks. Baby gates. Where do you even start? Well, protecting your home and auto is a great place to start. 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