Do You Want the Long or Short Version? How to Open a Story with Respect

This is an All-Ears English Podcast Episode 2560. Do you want the long or short version? How to open a story with respect. Welcome to the All-Ears English Podcast. Downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection. With your American hosts, Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer, and Michelle Kaplan, the New York Radio Girl, coming to you from Colorado and New York City, USA. And to get your transcript delivered by email every week, go to allearsenglish.com/subscribe. When you get started telling a story and you know it could be a long one, what can you say to find out how much detail the person wants? Find out today and learn why this is crucial for connection and friendship. Picture this. You're part of the conversation. Someone jumps in with a fast comment. Everyone reacts, but you're left behind, still processing the words. It's not that you don't understand English, it's that real conversations don't slow down for you. Slang, speed, tone, it all stacks up fast. The good news, these are trainable skills if you know your English level and what to do to move up. Start by taking our free two minute fluency quiz to find out exactly what your level is now. And to allearsenglish.com/fluencyscore, that's allearsenglish.com/FLUNCYSCORRE. Hey there, Michelle. Hi, Lindsay. How are you? Good. How are you? What's new? Good, good. So Lindsay, I just have to tell you what happened to me over the weekend. Do you want to hear the long version or the short version? Just give me the highlights. Okay. All right, I actually don't have anything specific to tell you, but I wanted to use that because today we are going to think about an idea, talk about an idea, hello that I think you came up with Lindsay. Yeah. So what is it that we're going to talk about today? Yeah. We came up with this idea because I went to the Ronald Reagan Museum in Southern California and a parent, what I learned about him is that he used to be a play by play announcer on the radio for sports, I guess. And that got me thinking about the phrase play by play, yo, I don't need a play by play. And that's something we might say to someone, right, when we don't, like the person is giving you too much information. Yeah. And then I thought, okay, this is, this is so important to ask someone exactly how much information do they need or want in that moment because you don't want to be that person that just talks and talks. Yes. Yes. Exactly. So I mean, sometimes when you're about to go into depth with someone, you just really need to check with the listener and see, yes, okay, do they have time? Are they interested? And you probably should also check in periodically as you tell the story to, right, by body language, cues, things like that. Yes, exactly. And to me, this shows like a huge amount of respect for someone's time. And we've talked about time and how valued it is in American culture. So when you show that you respect someone's time, that's really going to be important to them. Yes, guys, we're going to get into a very high level, nuanced, but important connection skill today. Before we do, if you love our style of connection, not perfection, then hit the follow button wherever you're listening. Or of course, if you're on YouTube, hit subscribe because this is your year to find real connection in English. This is how we can lead happier lives by being connected with the people around us. Okay. Yes. Exactly. So we are going to give you some ideas of language that you can use to check in with someone before you say more. Yes. I do have a friend of a friend who does this. She's known for this for these really long, winded stories where you just have to settle in. Once you get started, you get a cup of coffee and just sit down and settle in because she's going to go on and she's going to get all these details. Oh, yes. It's become her reputation. She's funny, but it's become her reputation. She needs this episode. She does. So what should she say then? When she starts the story? So here are some ideas. So the first one is just, I think we use this in the beginning. Do you want the long version or the short version? Yeah. Perfect. Straight forward, right? So let's see what this looks like. So tell me the story you wanted to tell me before. Okay. I will, but it's a long one. Great. So this is respectful. It's very attuned to me socially and emotionally. What am I ready for? Right. Exactly. And just by you asking, it shows I'm not going to be offended whichever answer you choose. So you don't, you don't need to feel weird being like, oh, you know, the short version is fine. Like, you don't have to feel bad. Exactly. Exactly. And here's my favorite phrase, play by play, right? So again, this, this literally used to be the name of a role, a job of a radio announcer for sports, the play by play announcer. That's what Ronald Reagan did in college or sometime in his 20s or something. But now it's become just a phrase that means giving too much information, right? Or just all the information, all the information, yeah. So you might say, do you want the full play by play or just the highlights, right? So yeah, it sounds like sports. I mean, either you're listening, either you're watching the whole game, you're hearing everything the announcer has to say, every basket, every goal, whatever sport it is. Or just the highlights where you're watching the clips, right? Exactly. Exactly. So let's do, let's see what that looks like, Michelle. Okay. So what happened with you and Jordan? Oh, man. Do you want the full play by play or just the highlights? I want to hear everything. All right. Good. Good. Okay, Michelle. We're back. We have another one more thing, one or two more things we could say to double check how much information people want. So the next one is, do you want the full story or the abridged version? Nice. Yeah, the abridged version means the shortened version. Yeah. Sometimes, yeah. You see books will publish like an abridged version. No. Do you remember books? Yes, no. Oh, I remember. Yellow books. Yep. Yep. Yep. Just the summaries. So here we go. There's so much to explain. I don't mind. Are you sure? Do you want the full story or the abridged version? Okay. Good. Yeah. So you're really double checking with me here. And this is being aware of who you're talking with and what they need. Last one is, how much detail do you want me to go into? It feels wordy, but it's communicative, right? Yeah. Like, yeah, the word detail is how much detail. This is very specific and it doesn't, this one doesn't have to be for an actual story. So let's see how it's used here. Yeah. Do you really want to hear more about your job? I want to understand what you do on a daily basis. Wow. Thanks. Well, it's a lot. How much detail do you want me to go into? Yeah. Right. So this isn't a story. I mean, you could also be telling a story with this expression about how much detail do you want. Right. But, yeah. Here, you're just saying, they're, you know, yeah, I'll tell you what am I supposed to say. Monday, I get it. And then I check my email and that order, do you just want some basics? Sure. And so why do we feel like these phrases are important, Michelle, for connection? Mm-hmm. Yeah. So again, what we mentioned was respecting someone's time, huge in this, in American culture. Yeah. Very important to show that you, like, if, and you are, it just shows that you're thinking above a certain level, right? You're not thinking just, oh, everybody just wants to hear what I say. And I'm just so excited to talk that I'm not even going to think this through. It shows that you put some extra thought into how you sound, what people are looking for, and really giving people that choice. I totally agree with you. It's a self-awareness that you are not the most important thing in the world. Yes. Yes. And maybe everyone doesn't care about all these little details as much as you do, right? Mm-hmm. Good. And I also think that it can allow you to get to know the person that, that how they listen in story. Yeah. How much interest do they have? How much time do they have? It might give you some insight into them as well. Yeah. Interesting. Interesting point. So let's see what this looks like in a role play then, right? Okay. Here we go. All right. So we're just using one of them because you would only say this one time in a conversation, right? Yes. So we're not going to use them back. Exactly. And we're at a party, but we're in line for food. So there might be, like, a potlock and there's a line there, right? Mm-hmm. So here we go. Okay. You told me how Kylie and George got engaged. All right. Well, it's a long story. Well, I want to hear everything, but it's hard to hear now, right? I'll give you the abridged version. Okay. Right. 'Cause we're in line. Maybe it's loud at the party. So I just, but I want to hear something. I want to hear something. Exactly. So I said, oh, right. This is good. This shows a high, I mean, not everyone does this, not all native speakers do this. It's a personality thing. I think it shows good character. Yeah. Yeah. I totally agree. So yeah, I said, you said it's a long story. And then I said my answer. And then it was interesting. You said, right, I'll give you the abridged version. Right. So I didn't say I want the short version, but I kind of gave this answer of like, oh, I really do want it, but I can't hear so I want the basics, you know, exactly, exactly. So again, this is it. I mean, it's very straightforward today's episode, but I like it because if our listeners can just take this one tip, these few phrases and implement them, they will be ahead of probably 50% of native speakers socially. You know what I mean? I mean, a lot of people just don't do this when they should do it. Do you know anyone? Michelle? In your life. I mean, yeah, I do. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we're getting our listeners ahead of the game here. I love it. Yes. Is there another episode we could go to? Yes, guys, check out episode 2551. That was, that was a fun one. Embrace both meanings of this useful English word. Beautiful. And we talked all about the word embrace and how many different meanings that word has. Yes. You wouldn't imagine. So go and check it out. Any other final takeaway? I mean, self-awareness is huge. Self-awareness. Respecting of others. I just think it's a great way to, you know, build that connection, show people you care about their time. I think context also matters here. Are we sitting by a campfire and you have the floor for three hours and there is space? Or are you at a busy party, maybe in a big city, where people are just kind of mingling wanting to meet each other, right? So context really matters, but you can't go wrong by just asking, you know, how in are you on this story? Right, right. Exactly. Yeah. I love you. So this was a fun one. Thank you, Lindsay, for bringing that idea to us and also for teaching us a little bit about Ronald Reagan. Yeah, I know. I know. There was a lot to learn here. All right. Good stuff, Michelle. I'll see you very soon. You have a good day. You too. Bye. Bye. Thanks for listening to all ears English. Would you like to know your English level? Make our two-minute quiz, go to all earsenglish.com/fluencyscore. And if you believe in connection, not perfection, then hit subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything. See you next time.