The conversation begins with a comedic yet relatable mishap—accidentally applying lotion to his eye—followed by a lighthearted discussion about the host’s glasses and fashion choices. The tone quickly shifts to a warm, thoughtful exchange about gift-giving, where the participants highlight personal, meaningful presents like a smoker kit and wall art, emphasizing connection and attention to detail. A humorous anecdote about Frank Sinatra’s legendary 19-pound penis introduces a playful, absurd element, which transitions into broader reflections on body image, masculinity, and cultural myths. The discussion then delves into nostalgic memories of adolescent social rituals, including how girls used hand size to judge penis size and how early romantic gestures like kissing in school were viewed as significant events. These moments are framed as deeply personal and formative, revealing how early experiences shape self-perception. The conversation concludes with a humorous comparison of lip versus cheek kisses throughout life, underscoring the absurdity and affection behind human touch. Throughout, the tone remains friendly, self-deprecating, and full of shared laughter, celebrating both the absurd and the meaningful in everyday life. The episode blends humor, personal memory, and cultural references to create a uniquely intimate and relatable experience.
Welcome back to the basement yard. How's it going Frank? I'm good. How's it going Lee's singer of Weezer? I fucking got him so good by the way. That's not very that's not very Christmas season like. Hey, how's it going? Give me some more. Give me some. Hassan Piker. That's a good one. You look like him right now. Yeah. You know I can see you searching for more. You can see the gear is turning here, right? I fucked up my eye. I put lotion in it three days in a row. What? Stakes were made. How did you put lotion in your eye? I have this lotion that I put underneath my eyes and it was getting into the corner of my my eye and then it kept burning it and I thought it was my contacts but then I realized I'm getting lotion in my eyes. So my eyes been red for like three days. What like you were like squirting lotion? No, no, no. It's like a cream that goes underneath right here. It's just for this part of your eye. Oh, it's like and then it was like seeping into the corner and it like fucked up. You see how my eyes like a little red? Like it was it was it was a lot. So you're applying lotion in your eye and then it just gets in your eyeball and it fucks up your your whole vision. Yeah. I was getting too close to the corner. You're getting too close. The corner was sucking in all the lotion. So you were like getting lotion in your eye. So far two for two. Come on. So far two for two. I mean, that's easy. That's low hanging fruit there, baby. The fruit is right in front of your face, low hanging and batting you around in the eyes. I don't know about that. But that's why I wear my galarsis because that's what Google told me. Like that's like that's what's that what's that style? There's like a that's that that's a stop. It's like horn-rimmed or something like that. Oh, dude. Is that not it? Oh, what did I say horn-rimmed horn-rimmed glasses? Is that not? I'm gonna make a joke about lotion, but not horn-rimmed? Come on. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. But do you like is that like the only like style that you have? Because I feel like I've only seen you with that style glasses. No, these are new. Really? I got these like a couple months ago. But I was I wore the same pair for so long. Your employer got that vision insurance too, right? Yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah. I'm talking about that shit. But you don't even wear glasses, really. What the right? Yeah. Those are fake. You look like you. Your glasses look like your name was Curly and you were beat up at the local diner in the 50s. Three for three. Three for three. Um. See? Yeah, my body. Spell on you now. My body, my body. You know, but you look you look whatever. Appreciate it. It's the Christmas season. Also, Anne's got some gifts over there. Yeah. What? I was gonna say those are immaculately wrapped. Now, is there one for me and one for Frank or both for me? Do you want both? Yes. Now for some reason, you said that in a way that makes me think that one of those things is offensive. So I would say given. Oh, are they offensive? No, are they gonna hurt? No, no, no, they're real gifts. I just wanted to say, like, thank you guys for everything. Wait, hold on. Is this real? I don't know. I don't know here. Is he being real nice guy? Are you setting up asshole? No, I'm not. I'm not. Stop showing asshole here. I'm just like, I'm coming up on like producing here for a year, like in like a couple of months. What? Yeah, dude. Where are you? Yeah. Like my like, my year birthday is coming up. Really? Yeah, in a couple months, one year of Ant. It doesn't feel like it. Am I crazy? Yeah. I mean, not camera though, right? Yeah. I think that's probably I think it started at the exact same time. At least my voice, my voice on here for about a year, at least like at first, I feel like it was very light. Now we can't get you to shut up. Oh, you see how and I get in trouble. First of all, you're trying to dig yourself out of a hole. You're in timeout. Second of all, I'm not in timeout. I'm breaking out. I'm I'm broken out of timeout. I'm doing that while I have I'm presenting gifts. Yeah. This is very sweet. So this is a seriously sincere thing. Like you're not being like, Ha, Ha, here's a fucking shut up now. Yeah, yeah. And you do you're saying, say how great we are. It was just thank you. Thank you to you too. And thank you to everybody who accepted me here. I have gifts. What did you say to the people I didn't accept you? We also don't know if they have accepted you technical. Yeah, that's true. We kind of yeah, we kind of forced it upon. In theory, you kind of just shoved you got you got shoved down the throws at these people. It is true. Yeah. Would you like the gifts? I would love them. Oh, sure. Oh, so I'm just going to get the bigger one. I imagine you. I saw that coming. Oh, it feels like a book. You need to overcome. If that's a book, what brother? Like a big Santa book. Can I just say this exceptionally well wrapped. Great. Whoa. This is thick wrapping paper. Yo, the wrapping paper here is crazy. And something tells me, oh, this is framed. It's a frame. You didn't wrap this. No, I didn't. You have to say congrats on the wrap. It looks great. This is expensive wrapping paper. This is good. This is good. Yeah. This is something like you can't poke a hole in this, baby. No, I mean, you can. But is there like a specific order as to who should open theirs first? I love that question because it's that's how you open gifts. I guess you I guess you should open it first. I don't know like that. I don't know how much you'll like. Wait, I'm smelling a Christmas tree. Is this sentence? No, am I am I bugging mine smells like like chemicals? You have to scratch it for scratch. No, no, no, you're fuckin' with me. I was. But yeah, am I bugging? Yo, it low-key smells like pine. Uh, and we know he doesn't have a real tree and that ain't one. That ain't yeah. Well, if you have a fake tree, you put the pine-sentenced thing. I know and I hate it so much. I think that's so me. All right. So I'm supposed to go first. You go first. Imagine it's just. Oh, he's one of these. You know, it's interesting. We're going to see how people open gifts. Frank, you can you can. It's okay. I'm kidding. I'm not that good. Yeah, okay. You're taking our dress off. Very slow. What is it? Oh, that's cool. What is it? It's smoky eats an electronic cocktail smoker kit. Whoa, smoke him if you got him. And boy, do I got him. You talk about how you like a smokey whiskey and hell. I said that recently. You're good. Yeah. Wow. He pays attention. Yeah. I do. Oh, the wood. So we got different smokes. Yeah. So we got peach. Is this like hookah? Oh, it's just wood. Yeah, you put the wood in the machine and hell. Yeah. You know, I love that peach one. That's a great gift. Can I start smoking stuff now? Pecan, oak, apple, cherry wood. Tell him that he has to have a glass of whiskey tonight and send you a video. Oh, that'd be cool. Oh, you don't have to. You don't have to though. I mean, I will. I mean, you shouldn't electronically smoke in the bath just in case. I mean, I imagine these are battery operating. Yeah. Yeah. You just, you put it in the top. You, you, and it does it automatically on your glass. That's beautiful. Freaking things already. This is really thoughtful. Thank you so much, man. I, I really, really appreciate that. That's I fucked that up. It's very sweet. Uh, it is incredibly kind. Now, see, what the fuck, Ant? Why can't you be like mean? Why can't you be mean? I want to start smoking shit now. Smoke up. Oh, and it comes with some recipes. The Godfather, the Godfather. What's that? Oh, it sits like this on the glass on the glass. So it's, yeah, and then it's spits out the smell. Amaretto. Sorry. You lost me. Not if they gave a red dog a scotch back in. Whoa. And that's it. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. That's all you need. I guess so. Dragon's breath. Excuse me. Is that a leaf? Bourbon, Saint Germain, triple sec. Hell yeah. Who's having a glass of triple sec? And a smoked espresso teeny. You're in. All right. What's going on over there? That's really cool. Thank you, man. I, that's very thoughtful. That's nice. Very appreciative. Thank you so much. Hmm. All right. Let's find out what's in here. I'm going to get right under her dress. Did you ask? Oh, shit. Oh, I'm opening this perfectly because it's the back. That's what I get. That's a good, I mean, a good wrapper is going to put it on the right way too. Oh, and there's some hanging material. There's some. Ready? Yeah. Oh, I think I thought you supposed to show the crowd first. I got you some wall art. It's called the Perfect Martini. That is awesome. I love that. I am putting. I know exactly where this is going in my apartment. Isn't there? I got an apartment space. Yeah. Oh, I love that. I have like a little, like a thing. And now I can put this above it. That's what I thought. It's perfect. Yeah. You got a lighter and we got a lighter. I'm not going to like this. You know, perfect. This is actually, I do have like these color accents in my apartment. So it works in transition seamless transition into the color way. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Of course. That's awesome. You thought I'm a big fan of shit like this. That's like, I feel like sometimes with people with gifts, it's like very, very personalized and there's not a lot of utility. This is nice. That is nice. These are great gifts. You're a good gift guy. Good gift guy. Good for you for being good gift guy. You know, I'm glad you enjoyed. I am going to smoke the shit out of this bitch. Let me tell you. I'll smoke it right now. You should take it and don't put it on a glass. Just put it on your mouth. I think that'll be harmful to my health. You're drinking scotch, dude. That's you know what? Healthy. I mean, be honest with me. Have you ever like not felt great and you had a little whiskey or something? No. Because you think it's going to like destroy the bad stuff? I've done it. I've heard that. I've done it. It definitely feels like it when it's in your mouth. Frank, you can't go. You can't keep doing it. I can let you go. I can just let you I can let the world digest that. No, I I've had like a tickle on my throat and just be like,
I'm gonna blast it with something, so why not be Scotch? - Yeah. - Is that wrong? - I think it might be incorrect. I think, well, I have seen videos on TikTok of like, here's bacteria underneath the microscope, but then you add like some whiskey or Scotch, and they all die. - Well, like, that's what they used to do back in the days of the Civil War. - Yeah. - And they were on to something. Well, half of them were on to something. - Yeah. (laughing) - They were very clear. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - They would be, half of them would be like, ow, my leg hurts, let me, you know, clean it with whiskey. - Yeah. - The other half would be like, ow. I want to keep my slaves, let me clean it with whiskey. - Yeah, yeah. - One of those sentiments, the good one, the northern one I agree with. - Right, yes, exactly. - Be very clear. - Yeah. (laughing) - I also got myself something. - What's that? - I got a little Christmas tree trophy because I won the Christmas tree decorating pole on this grant. - Oh, fuck you. - This guy's having a week. - Good gift giver. Got a little tree, won a contest. - I also got just a big fat, massive, a dick. - Yeah, just like a stupid dick. - Yeah. - Just an absolute toss. - I just wanted to toss that. - Yeah, you. - You and Frank Sinatra. Well, apparently has a 19 pound cock, wasn't that you? - Dude, yeah. - 19 pound dick. - Fucking Paul Anca, who's like an old timey singer. Paul Anca? - Paul Anca. Paul Anca. - Anca. - Oh, isn't Paul Anca somebody? - Paulenta is a, like-- - Isn't that like a-- - It's like an Italian like-- - It's a mushy rice. - It's almost like a grits. - Yeah, yeah. - It's like a corn paste. - Kinda like that. - I'm into grits. - I like mushy shit. Ooh, you know what I mean? - Really? - Yeah, I like mashed potatoes when they're mushed. - Yeah, but I like a little, like uncertain stuff, a little texture. Like I think they do like polenta cakes, but they'll like pan fry them. So you get a bit of a char crust on the outside and the inside is creamy. - Oh yeah. - And mushy. - Yeah. - But big fat dick though. - Yeah, apparently you and Frank Sinatra. - You guys share a dick. - Hard to do. - We share it. - Yeah. - You also share a love for alcohol. (laughs) You know? - Just, yeah. - I think if we start naming things-- - Same listening age on spot. - Yeah, we can, I think we'll be able to find a pretty consistent like through line. - Through line between Frank Sinatra and Aunt Prisco. - Wow. - You know? - What was the story with his big-- - Well Paul Anca came out and said like it was true. He had just like too much dick. - Damn. - And like the joke was if he was 120 pounds, 19 pounds was dick. (laughs) - Which is-- - Oh bro, I was on the assumption that he actually had a 19 pound penis. I was like, "I can't use that." I mean, no way. I will say this, regardless of size, if people are measuring your girth, your cock, in weight, you've won. How much do you think your penis weighs without your balls? (laughs) - Not 19 pounds. - I was on the news two days ago and they asked me what the podcast was about. (laughs) - I'll ask you right now. - How much is penis weighs? - I can't give a number. - Rams? - Screw you, excuse you. - I mean-- - Excuse you. - Do you think your penis is a pound? - I don't know what a pound is. - I think-- - It's not a pound. - How do you-- (laughs) - It's empty. - Who the hell are you? - I was like, this guy is walking around with a dumbbell in his pants. - He's like, "You don't want this. It's a hot, tough life to live with a fucking heavy leader." - Yeah, tell us how difficult life is while your fucking tip scrapes against the floor when you walk. - Mm-hmm. - I'm getting too intense about it. - Yeah, I think so. - The details. - I mean, what do you think, can you-- what is your's way? - When I'm thinking about weighing it, I'm thinking about weighing a dust. - And not because-- - Like a food scale, like-- - Yeah, I'm thinking about how much sugar-- You ever see those videos about how much sugar-- - Yeah, where it's just like you're drinking a Coca-Cola. Here's the 50 grams of sugar. - That's what I'm thinking about. That's a great, great question. - Tell us, buddy, Holly. - Well, the thing is, that's a great song. - He was also a person. - Was he? - Yeah, dude. I don't know. - He was one of the people that died on the plane. - The plane? - Yeah, the day the music died. - What? - This song, "American Pie." Yeah? ♪ Ah, bye, Miss American Pie, no ♪ - You don't have to say, I don't. ♪ And then that's the day the music died ♪ It was like a plane crash. It had like the dude that sang La Bomba. - I honestly did not know this. I know Leonard Skinner died, didn't they died in there? - I believe they did as well. I mean, I'm not gonna-- - Oh, I'm gonna start using my phone during the show. - Look up, look up the plane crash. The day the music died. - Okay. At first, I googled what the average weight of a penis is. - This is good. - This is helpful. - You know what? You've earned your spot right there, there you go. Would you like to guess what the average weight of a penis is? Flash it. - Give us the unit of measurement. - Right. - It's ounces. - Ooh. - 16 ounces and a pound. - That's a glasses. - Or is that a fluid adding half? - Wait, no, no, no. Fluid ounces and weight ounces are different things. - Okay. - 16 ounces is a pint. - A fucking pint. - Well, what's 16 ounces is a pound though? - I think, is it eight ounces is a pound? - It's in a 12. - Oh, fuck. - We're all over the place. - Well, regardless, it's not 16. - Um, I'm gonna say seven. - It's 16 ounces in a pan. - 16 ounces is a fucking pound. - I'll say seven ounces is the average. - I'm going bigger than that, baby. I'm going the average. - I'm going 10.25 ounces. - The average weight of a flaccid penis is 2.5 to 3.5 ounces. - Yeah. - Oh wow. - We're cool. - Are you sure? 'Cause mine is average and it's fucking weighing-- - It doesn't feel right, it feels huge and heavy, dude. - 2.3 ounces. - I mean, that's the point of weighing it at that moment. - I got it. - Let's use some simple math here. Simple math. Okay, we got this. We're, we're, we're, I'm already nervous. We're not stupid. So if the average length of a penis is five. - What, five inches? 2.5 ounces. - Right. - So that means that whatever the length is, half it for the ounces, the ounce or ship. - Right. - So if it's five inches, two and a half ounces. - Right. - So if we're going and using that, this guy had a 38. (laughing) - I see it. - 38, I see the math. - That's crazy. - You see it, which is like, there's no way. There's no way. - I mean, you never know, dude. - That was Frankie Blue Eyes. You think you got a small Mickey Blue Eyes? I love when we picked out Blue Eyes. Frankie, thick, hot. Frankie's fucking massive nuts. - Climbing to the moon, riding on his fucking fleshy rocket ship of a car. - Yeah, that's exactly, I mean, you know, what a guy. - Well, I mean, I think we just deduced, yeah. - Average, so you're probably rocking. - You're probably rocking like nine ounces. Well, that would be insane. - I can't, I would, I can't. - I would act very differently, probably. - What you did, elaborate about that. - The weight of your penis is in correlation with your personality, probably. - Can you be more of like, just a cocky, well, you would be more cocky. - Yeah, yeah, inherently, yeah. - Okay. - Well, you would just like, if I guess cocky is the word, yeah, but like, you know, we all know it's well documented. He's gonna hate it, but he's gonna be a winner. - And here goes, he'll know we mentioned it 'cause his follower count goes up. - Well, the other day too, he was like, you know, did you say something about me? 'Cause I also, and I got a bunch of followers. I was like, I don't think so. - We did. - And it probably, yeah. - And we absolutely did. - Or maybe a clip went viral in it, you know. - Yeah. - They got wind of the penis. - I will say he is the rare exception. - He doesn't like talking about it. - He doesn't really, that was Frankie Blue. I still didn't like talking about his massive wiener. - I mean, because back then, everyone was afraid of being gay back then. Having a big wiener makes you gay. - If you're talking about a dick, you want to kiss it, probably, that's where your mentality, you know. I imagine, I didn't live at that time. - I mean. - But I imagine he'd be like, hey, why are you? Why do you care? - You know, just always singing. I imagine Bill Haider, and I mean, I feel like, oh, for five, it feels like. - Richard Tozier. - What am I supposed to know who that is? Who's that? - Richard Tozier, loser club. - Loser club? - Oh, come on. - It, it, yeah. - Oh, the kid from the movie? - Yeah, come on, baby. - Okay, cool. - You know, yeah. - You should know. - All right. - I was gonna say Pete is one of the rare examples of the people that is like, I don't wanna, I'm humble about my fucking hose. Well, think about that. He doesn't talk about it at all. So the fact that he has-- - Which is normal if we're being honest. - Right, I mean, yeah. The fact that it has grown into an urban legend is magical. - It's like, it's like Sasquatch in some ways, but also like the urban legend sense. You know, like, it's like, like the Jersey Devil like the El Chupacabra, like, there's other things, the Moth Man, you know, everyone has a story about it, but no one can sit and confirm like-- - Medusa type shit. - Well, Medusa is mythological, I think, you know. Mine were a lot more closely tied to reality than yours. - Well, you know, those are your gods, you're Greek. You see what he does, I feel like-- - You see how he did that? - Well, so who are your gods? Picasso, you fucking Italian bitch. - First of all.
Oh, that's not even a religion, Italian. - Greek is a religion. - Greek Orthodox, isn't that a religion? - Orthodox is the religion. Greek is the sect. - Yeah. - But I don't think Greek Orthodox is like, yo, Zeus, Aphrodite. - Yeah, I think so. - I don't think that-- - When you guys go to church, it's like, yo. - I think the only difference is shit. - I think the only difference is like they believe in Jesus, but like Jesus was eating Sponacolpita instead of fucking, you know, bread. - Honestly? - And one of the best contributions that the Greeks have made to society is Sponacolpita. - Sponacolpita, tathiki, bro. - I don't know if I ever told you this. - Nicole thought that was Spina Capita. (screams) - I mean, I mean, she's white. So I mean-- - Spina Capita. - I mean, I guess the Greeks are white. - It sounds like Lois. Like from family guy, Spina Capita. - Yeah, I mean, that's like such a like-- - Spina Capita. - I can see that. - I think Becca recently also did the same thing where she was just like Sponacolpita. And I was just like, I get what you're trying to do. - We're gonna have to say it quicker. - At that point, just call it spinach pie. - Yeah, right. - Like if you can't say it with the accent, you know, like-- - Me and Frank grew up in a Greek neighborhood and sometimes like, it would be around, I believe it's Greek Easter. And all of a sudden, the neighborhood it felt like there was like a Colton town because they do like, they do like a fucking-- - The chair like holding the fucking like-- - Yeah, and everyone's dressed in white and they have candles and I was like, yo! - I was like, what's going on? - Have you seen the inside of a Greek Orthodox church? - I've peaked. I don't know if I'm allowed. - Dude, I mean, you can walk in. What are they gonna say? Get out, they're gonna, I mean, the gods up, will. - I mean, the gods are like-- - They smite, dude. - They might be starving. - Say sorry. - Well, I don't know. But I've peaked in, saying I range, it looks nice. - Greek Orthodox church, they're into the pomp and circumstance. - The flash, let me tell ya. - They don't throw a bad fare either. That's a good fare. - I mean, Italians throw a pretty good fare. - The Italians throw a good fare, but a lot of rats. I mean, that's just the place. That has nothing to do with the fare. - Well, I know it's the food. - For a split second, I thought you might have been talking about like the people. - The rats. - Like the Italian people, like, they're fucking rats. - No, that's not what I meant. - I mean, actual animal rats. - Dude, pull up a picture of the inside of a Greek Orthodox church. There's gold everywhere. I've been to a Christian church. I've been to a Catholic church. It's like, you know, it's fine. A lot of wood. - A lot of wood. - Some stained glass. - Stanglars is cool. - Stanglars is really cool, but my guy, you walk in and you see what he's doing. - Whoa, which one are you feeling? - I mean, yeah, throw it up, babe. Look at that shit. - Wow. - You're standing up there with the father, son, and the holy, and the spirit. - That's St.D's. - St. George and St. Demetrius Greek Orthodox church. Yeah, you know what? That might be the ones that we went to. - I mean, I've never, what the mother fuck is that? - Look at this thing. It's got a whole chandelier. - Yeah, the Greeks love their churches, dude. - I've got three chandeliers. I've been in some churches and I'm like, holy shit. - Yeah, man. - They go and you walk in and they're, you know, it's sick. They use an olive oil. - Can I do a question? Like, when you, so, if I'm near St. Patrick's Cathedral around Christmas, like it's usually around Christmas time, I'll go in and they have like a, a nativity set and whatever. But in any regard, I guess that doesn't matter. Why I'm bringing that up. When you get close to a statue, or not super close, but you see a statue, right? Does a part of you ever just stare at the statue and go move? - Yes. (laughing) - I just go, I know you could fuck it. I forgot what movie it was, but I remember staring in a statue and I got it from the movie and I was just like, wonder if they're just gonna start crying blood. You know, just like, wonder if this, wonder if this like, you know, marry, statue of Mary. - Part of me feels like if I stare at a statue long enough, like it will give me a sign. - Well, there's a, what's the name of the character? I think they're called like the Weeping Angels or something like that from Doctor Who and their statues. They're like stone statues, but they only move if you like blink or look away. So like, that's what I do. I'll just be like, this is like fucking five nights at Freddy's now. - Sort of. - I mean, definitely, you're gonna upset people comparing Doctor Who to five nights at Freddy's. - No, that's not what I'm saying. He's crazy, he's getting it. I'm like, if you look away, then they move. You know what I mean? - I mean, I think they move when you look at them in five nights at Freddy's too. When they get close enough and kill you, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, I do that. And when it's specifically in St. Patrick's Cathedral, that's like, I've been in churches and I, you know, I'm like, for some reason, St. Patrick's Cathedral is the most uncomfortable I've ever been because I know that like, 20 feet below me, there's a pope just lying there dead. - Not a pope. - Popus. - You pope, the popus? - There's a ton of pope. How did, what is multiple pope? Is it popes or is it Popeye? - I think it's pipes. - Pipes. (laughing) - I think it's pipes. - There's four just pipes. - The floor is just fucking covered in pipes. - Covered in pipes. - And if you walk to the back of the church, so if you ever, if anyone is visiting New York or you're from New York and you haven't been to St. Patrick's Cathedral, you walk in, you go to the left, and then the nativity set is like right on your left. And you go, wow, oh, it looks, and then you walk past it, and you get into the back behind the stage altar, and there's a bunch of tombs. They're like, yo, down below. - Catacombs. - A bunch of pipes. - Yo, the pipes are laid out and they'll tell you, too. They'll be like, yo, there's St. John Paul, there's Ringo, they'll tell you all the pipes that are down there. - Yeah, they're like, this one's Federico or some Natalia name. - Let me be very. - John Paul, John Paul, two John Paul four, five. - There's like 15 John Paul. - Every season of John Paul. - It is very like jokes aside. It's breathtaking. - It is. - St. Patrick's. The architecture is like, the fact that you could see that like those were made by human hands, it's fucking crazy. - Crazy. - I went to France and I went to Notre Dame. I was like, bro, this is insane that people built this. - Even when we were in Ireland, there was like two or three churches that I forgot who I was with, but we walked into. - Yeah. - And I was just like, yo, this is like a thing that people made by hand, bananas. - It's crazy. - Absolutely bananas. - I remember thinking when I was in France it was being like, is there French pipes out there? - I mean, below the surface. - I don't think we got some bones. - Have there been any French? - French. - They're my. - French. (laughing) - Any fucking French toast. - I was saying French. Have there been any French popes? I feel like they've all been Italian. - Oh, yeah. - Oh, well, I guess priests. - From the south side of Chicago. Yo, this guy's on a something crazy. - I'm just telling you. - He's set a new standard with popes that are also like baseball fans, and also like eat hot dogs. Is this possibly the first pope that we've had that's ever had a hot dog? Nah. Can you get a hot dog in Italy? - I'm sure it'll be like, this is an American restaurant. Yo, what do you think the pope does for like fun? Or is it always just the books? Like, is it always just the book? - How can you just go chill? - State stays preyed up. - Yeah, but like that's it. Like you wake up and pray and like, bro, you ever like take a pottery class or some shit? - Um, you know, that's a great question. I am not super up to date with the daily activities of the pipes. - Dude, or like do they go to restaurants? Like imagine you're sitting at a steakhouse and also on the fucking Pope walks in and it's like, I imagine, I imagine they wouldn't. I mean, if we're being honest, they don't have a security standpoint. Probably a bad idea to do that. - I mean, just hire security. I mean, I think it's still like, there's still a level of, I would love to see the Pope pop out and like pop out. - What, you go to like four Charles and like, they'll be like, oh, Aaron Boone is here. Oh, fucking, you know, like Steve Cohen and right in the back room, the Pope is crushing a ribeye. - Dude, that'd be so far. - The idea of like a Pope eating steak is funny. - It is funny because they need to go about ordering it. Like, how would you take that, rare, you know? - Yeah, like what? And then like, I just the idea of them, I don't know, this is probably just me, but the idea of them eating food that isn't the little hosts is funny to me. - Yeah, like the idea of the French fries is like the idea of the Pope having a hot dog. It is inherently hysterical. - You think a Pope is just sitting back and drinking a bug like? - I'm just saying, like what? - I think now more so than ever, we're finding the opportunity is like coming that the Pope is like watching a baseball game with a Bud Light and a hot dog. And he's just like, Jesus, we need to run here. You know, it's like kicking his feet up. Yeah, like just like, you know, the Pope at one point in his life, like Scott Poseidonick got thrown out at home. Anyway, are you fucking kidding me at his TV? You know what I'm saying? And now he's the Pope. And then when he dies, he'll be with the pipes. - He's like, thank God for germane die, you know? - Yeah, that's got, I mean, hey man, they haven't really been that successful since then. So I mean, we can't say it's not because of the Pope. - He must have loved angels in the outfield. - I mean, he must have been a co-write. They must have been like, you know how movies will like contact people in the industry as like a, how authentic is this or something like that? - Is it an executive producer? - Danny Glover's talking to the Pope and just like, what do you think I should do for this movie? - Yeah. - Honestly, you're pretty on point with the way it's going so far. - That's so far. - Damn. - I think can we find any pictures of the Pope having like pizza or a cheeseburger? - I found one. - Look at Pope's eating shit. - I found one. - Don't look at that. - Don't say shit. - I saw one of the day the Pope drank beer. - No! - Dude, if you're about to pull up a picture of the Pope with a pint, I might convert. - What is the day like it's only one time? - That's what they called it. - Get that.
Oh, but wait a sec. That was that was happening out of a careful careful careful. That was the Nazi careful. He was tied to Nazism Who all right that pole he's just having a beer Yeah, yo, you're gonna let a guy that old hold that big beer dude. His arms gonna fall off well He's got the power of the spirit with that is true. Yeah. I mean, it's not like the force. I don't know This picture I saw damn that's crazy Unless I'm mistaken that's been it yeah Pope Benedict. It's he was one of the he I think he resigned because like they were like Yo, you're cool with the Nazis or something Frank I'm not saying that all the popes have not did anything wrong, but to to to say tied to the Nazis and then to add or something But wait go to the picture of those two poops eaten up to the left up to the left right there to the left. What are they eating over there? I mean, I think that's Pope Leo. Oh, that's Leo. That's Leo Leo. Oh, that's our current guy first of all He's got to be careful with the stories on the table there. It's a big white sleeve. We got some catch up around You got to be careful pope. It looks like a beer. Yeah, I mean, it's just funny to imagine. There's just a driver Popes me like let me get a vodka tonic two limes, please Bro, this is what I'm saying like the popes pull up to restaurants, and I'm like yo hit us with the bottom one Yo, if there was ever like the Pope at like a bottomless brunch, I think I would lose my I will say and I don't want to I honestly don't want to offend people But I hope people don't think that we're being offensive one thing And I also wanted to point out is that do you remember when I brought up JJ Hairston? The gospel singer and I was like, yo, this fire gospel. Oh, yeah, yeah, bro He posted a clip from the podcast and followed me and I was awesome. I know and like He's got to tune in It's like if he's hearing this now. It's like am I saying something see if you can hit up JJ Hairston Just haven't come in and just belt one. I'm not even saying that but like get you you know on the track You know one, you know back your days back your track with JJ. Why not back? I'm gonna say you don't need to sing But like you can have like a brief intermission like your days is like you know back in the day I was confirmed by the God back in the you know Oh, I'm gonna drop a I think you could write a quick 16 16 you can write a quick 16 about your days in the church my days in the church Yeah, man. I've been confirmed. Were you confirmed? I was yeah, you confirmed. There we go. Oh, thank you It's a confirmed 10 out with brother. You just got a red solo cup. Hey man brother. Yeah It's a dyed coke If if you were sorry. Yes, but good. I know that's not the question I was gonna ask if you were a Pope yeah and You were to go out. What would be your drink of choice? I know it's red wine give me something else What feels like a holy drink a holy spirit? That's a good joke. It's really that was actually a good joke. That's incredible Shit, I don't know gin. I was gonna say gin because of the floral botanicals and everything It just feels more connected in nature Well, the wine that they had in church was white wine actually in my church Yeah, Scooby-Doo welcome to the show I could be making this up. Isn't it white wine until a specific day and then it's red wine because that's when Jesus Oh, you're asking me. No, no, like they like like that's when he turned it to oh Like when he like was just like yeah, now it's my blood. Yeah, oh well. No, no made that up Well, no and not in my church growing up. It was always white So you're you guys were just like thrown rosé in the cup. It should like that be like yeah, this is no that would be fire I mean no, it was like a shard I mean, but I guess why? Why is it white? Yeah, maybe it's just preference. I mean, but that doesn't make sense It's the blood of Christ is like yeah, but it's not like that one. It's like a metaphor I know but if you're gonna present the blood of Christ, it should look most closely resembling blood Maybe our priest just fucked with the white That could be taken out of context. I'm gonna go straight to the expert Our first ad that we have today comes from How you doing rocket money? 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You'll get more of us if you like us You're getting it and Thank you so much to all the people that have supported and you can support if you want If you go to patreon.com slash the basement yard, you'll sign up for that first here just the first here you get these weekly episodes a week in advance And then the second tier exclusive episodes every Friday So you'll get more and you can get it if you sign up and You guess what? You want to do yourself a little bit of good? Go at the web browser version of it patreon.com slash the basement yard type that in You'll save yourself some money compared to signing up on the app What the fuck are we doing here? I want to make sure I specify the gravity and the emotional weight We love you. We're so thankful patreon.com slash the basement yard. You got a new ring. Yeah, I bet you got that for me. Let me see You held it up like the Green Lantern You're big on rings. I'm feeling rings honestly. You showed up with a double pink the other day I was like bro double pinked out. Yeah, you were pinked. I mean two pants. Well, don't say that. I don't like you were pinked You don't like that. I think that sounds a little intense. It does sound like porn. Listen. I mean, I think I saw I've said this before my My entry into rings was seeing someone with pinky rings and rings eating a sandwich and I go that looks awesome The sandwich and they're eating it with rings because now when I eat sandwiches I'm rocking roll for sandwich
Why do you eat like that? - I mean, how do you eat a sandwich? - I don't even-- - All right, you got, I'm gonna give you two types of sandwiches. Flat white bread sandwich. - Flat white bread sandwich. - Don't sit here and say like give me a one with wheat. - I can't even remember the last time I had white bread. Isn't that crazy? - Yeah, I can't remember the-- - Okay, but like they make like sliced Italian bread or something like that, but like, I just hold it. - You know what I'm, like, it looks like this. You know, it's got, it's got hips. - I'm gonna save you time. - I just hold it. - Okay, now a sub. - Really? - I mean, how? - This same method of-- - You hold like this? - Yeah, does it-- - Why? - Doesn't everything fall out of the butt? - No, baby. - Yeah, you gotta like close that fucking ass. - First of all, I keep my butt pinched. - I mean, it's clearly not. - Clearly not. - Your butt open-- - On my sandwiches. On my sandwiches. - Your butt open already for dinner. - What do you rather me eat it like this? - No, I mean, dude. - That's crazy. - Yeah, fuck it did that to myself. - How big is the sandwich in you? - I mean, I've eaten some big sandwiches. But like, the reason I'll be honest with you, the reason I do that is because I have wet sandwiches. And if I do eat them like this, this area right here gets wet with like oil and vinegar and stuff like that. So if I open it up, you eat with like, antennas. - Damn right, I do. I want the world to know this incredible sandwich. I mean, I don't eat bad sandwiches. Let's make that very clear. - I'm not saying that. - I want to make sure you know and you know. And the world knows. - No, it's like this, it's like this, I'm concerned. - But you're like, do you have like a thing with your fingers and hands? - I have openly spoken about, I hate my dainty fingers. - No, no, I'm at like a-- - If I can dress them up with rings, oh, I am a very tactile person, absolutely. - Which is, but I feel like you're, I don't know, there's something with your fingers. - You're throwing up gang signs now. You gotta be careful now. - I'm gonna be careful now. - You gotta be careful. - But you're like this, you know. - Yeah. - And then also we've talked about how you point it's kind of like Voldemort, where you're like, you do that. - Well, I think a lot of it is my dainty fingers. So like, what I can do to combat the daintyness is add some weight, rings, you know. - But they're dainty because of use. It's not because they're dainty like. - Use what? - Like the way that you use them. - I think the way, but like, I can't point like this anymore if I gotta ring on, now it's like this. - Okay, so you need, you need to know. - You know, and when I have my pinky rings on, if you notice, I do things more like this. - Do you? - Yeah. - Oh God, it's because it's sick. It's because it's sick. Do you put your fingers on? - Try this on, try the ring on. - Do you put your finger, do you put your fingers up? I don't think so. - I'm gonna toss it. - That one maybe goes, I don't think so. - I'm gonna toss it. - Yep. - Got it. - We've established that you have small fingers. - Whoa, dude. - Yeah, well, 19 pound fingers. - Whoa, that's on your pinky. - Yeah, it's on my, uh. - Bro, this fits easily on my thumb. - It's crazy. - It's like small fingers. - This feels holy. - It feels g, like, freesty. - It might be freesty. - I love it. - I love it so much. - You pipe? - I'm not piping. - It fits on every finger. - Well, nope, it only fits on this finger. - Oh, well, my thumb too. - It can fit on all your fingers. - Oh, yeah. But like, I could probably fit this around my leg. - Now talk about my dainty fingers. Come on, dude. - You're not very dainty, I guess. It's like, bro, this is, bro, this is a thick. - What's up? - You got thick fingers. - Hell yeah. - How'd you put the accent? Hell yeah. Ready? - Ooh. - Hit your other ring. - Yeah, easy like that, right? - You're ranked. - I do feel like, I just, I like-- - Powerful. - I feel powerful when I'm wearing it. I really, really do. It feels good. - Are you gonna get into rings? - No. - Are you wearing a ring? - I have an aura ring. - Ah. - I thought about getting one of those just for general health helping. - Health helping? - And you would wear it, which one-- - I probably wear it here. I have no ring right now for my index. I have rings for these two right here. - Right. Thanks for showing us. You could've just told us. We have all fingers. But, okay, so no rings for you? - Maybe. - You're not a ring guy. - I've experimented. - I got your ring. - You did get me a ring. - I got your ring, a pinky ring, a pinky ring. So that bitch on there, you know? It was crazy. I asked about your size, and I was told that your ring was like the size, basically, of a child's finger. - I mean, I don't have huge, like, they're not like big fingers. I think my hands are normal, but my fingers are-- - Oh, yeah, I've such big hands. - No, my hands aren't like big hands, but they're not like bitch hands. - Remember when hands had to do with dicks back in the day? - Do I, I still think that. - Do you? - Yeah. - Where it's like, you ever have someone, like when you're growing up and a girl's like, let me see your hand. - Then I'm like, oh God. - That was, I learned from Becca that that was like a thing that girls did to flirt. - The hands? - Yeah. - I mean, I assumed at any time that I was touching skin with a girl, I was like, oh my God, we were having sex. It was the closest thing at the time. - Yeah, it was. - You know? - Sometimes it was better, because you didn't have anything to compare it to. - Oh, when you had no clue-- - When I had no sex. - When you hadn't drank from the, you know, from the, the, the, the, the, when I haven't had sex yet, that's what I was gonna say. - We, we were having a conversation in freshman year high school once, and it just the topic of what, like something like that, like what gesture, like equals the size of a penis, or how big do you think it is? And this girl went like this. What, aren't they normally here to here? - She thought elbow to wrist? - She thought elbow to wrist was like, that's how you judge the size of a penis. - I, I don't think that's all of our dicks together. (laughing) - Well, you know, forget about the hammer. (laughing) - We all looked at each other like. - I, I mean, I don't even know how, I mean, I, I don't know what this per, I'm not gonna speak about this person's sexual history. - Well, they didn't, like, they didn't know, like yet. Like it was freshman year, like it was just an assumption, like that's what they thought. - But where do you even get that assumption from? - I, I think there's a confusion. I mean, I thought it was like, it was from the, it was like the tip, here to here. - Yeah, it was like, at one point they said it was like, when you hold your hand normal, it's like pinky to thumb, you know, or, you know. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. - I remember being in like middle school and someone said that and I'd be like, really? Go home and like stretch my hand. - Really? - You know? - I've never, like, you know. It was such, like those, they were all of them. I mean, foot size was another one that was like, you know, that was a, that was a big one. - Yeah. - But there were all these little, like, cool. - Not cool. - I wouldn't call them cool. - Yeah, I wouldn't, I wouldn't. I, I, I, everything was about like, figuring out what your penis size was via weird ways. - Can you, do you know of any other ones? - I didn't keep tabs on them. - Here, here is such a crazy thing to even think. - I'll go on record. That girl's an idiot. (laughs) - That's fine. - Imagine how old were you? - Fresh when your eyes were 14. - 14 years old. - Bro. What are we doing? - I mean, yeah, I don't think you didn't, you know. - We were, we were appalled a little. - That was Catholic school also. - This is ridiculous. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I, I don't want to speak more about this because. - Self-conscious also, from that one. - See, and when I was in sixth or seventh grade, I remember a girl being like, you're a virgin and like laughing at me and I was like, oh my God, like, am I a, - Yeah, how'd it go out there? - Am I the loser? - Yeah, you had to figure it out. - And then looking back, I was like, what the fuck, you fucking people in sixth grade? - There were people that I knew that were actively having sixth and sixth grade. - Me too. - Which is like in the stairway. - So fucking disgusting. - Which is, disgusting, such an intense, right? - I mean, I didn't think you were gonna say that. I thought you were gonna say like crazy or something. - I mean, yes, crazy too. But like, I knew, like, just like looking back in like hindsight and just be like, oh my God. - Yeah. - Like, what the fuck was happening? - People were having sex in the stairway in my middle school. - Yeah, dude, it was a thing in our middle school that was like, people would hook up in like the back staircase. - I like made out with my girlfriend at the time once. - Hell yeah. - Yeah, dude. She made out there. - Hell yeah. - Hell yeah. - Hell yeah. - I remember back then, also, I was still so afraid of being good at making out. And then, me and her made out. And she like, she was just in fast forward, it felt like. - Oh, oh, oh, oh. - I was like, it should feel good. And I was like, yeah, have I been doing this thing wrong all the time? - What is that? - But like, you know what you're making out with someone in your mouth open? - Yeah. - But, and hers was just opening and closing very quickly. At a speed that I wasn't prepared for. So I was kind of like a step behind. So I was like, I probably fucked that up. - Oh, yeah. - I can see that. I remember when I was in middle school, 'cause that was like the stressor back then. It was just like, are you a good kisser? - Yeah. - And if I'm not, everyone's gonna know. - Everyone's gonna know it. No one's gonna kiss you because of it. - Right. - Ever again. - Ever, I will die alone after this. - If you're a bad kisser at that age, it's gonna follow you until you're like, a member of the workforce. - Yeah. - You know, on your resume, it would be like, wow, graduated in Magna Cum Laude and, oh boy, heard you were a bad kisser. - Yeah. - You know, a fucking dweeb. - But I remember I had like a seventh grade girlfriend and there was like, it was also like, you got a girlfriend and then you had to like, kiss and then you had to like kiss in front of your boys and your like, their friends. And I remember I went for like a kiss once and I went for a tap kiss. - Oh no. - She went for a make out kiss or vice versa. Whatever it was, I went for make out, she went for tap and it was just like a, it was a consuming. - It was an all-consuming and it was like, you'd never come back from that. - It looked like a cobra eating a mice, a mouse is what.
I want to say. It was just like, yeah, it was like exactly that. It was like, you know, the way that like Anaconda is consumed. Bro, do you remember when you were younger and like the same thing, like you had a girlfriend and then it was such a big deal and everyone knew they're like, oh, they're gonna kiss and like no one kissed back then. So it was a big deal if there was a couple and it's like, oh my God, it was almost like a fight. It was like, yo, they're gonna meet up after school and they're gonna kiss each other. And I feel like you would kiss and everyone would go, oh! Well, I remember at the time like kissing my, like going like down the block, kissing my then girlfriend and walking back and everyone's at the corner, like, didn't happen, like celebrating it. And it was just like a, you know, it's like, yeah. So what, you know, we're a boyfriend and girlfriend now. Like, that's what they, that's what a boyfriend and girlfriend just do. You guys will learn one day. Yeah, just like an insane, just an insane time to live in. It's such a funny time to look back on. Yeah, and it's even weirder now that I have children. Oh, well, yeah, they're gonna have to go through that. Yeah, and it's like we heard, you know, very, very weird. Kissing is so strange. Isn't it weird that we kiss each other on the lips in the mouth? I get it like, other places didn't do it. What a freaking hole are you doing? Once it gets close to how it's going on. I feel like you're just like, what's in that cup? You sure it's just Diet Coke or is it Diet Coke in a horny goat weed? I thought you were going there. I just tried to jump in front of it. No, I was going very normal, just think about kissing on the lips. Like, does any other animal do that? They kiss each other on the mouth? That's a great question. Like, why are you kissing each other on the mouth? I don't know, that's a really, really good question. It's all like affection, because that's what we do it. It's the show affection. And I like it. I like kissing on the mouth. But like, how? Well, do you think more people kiss on the lips or on the cheek? Cheek. What do you mean? Cheek. Of course. When's the last time you kissed someone on the cheek? All the time. When's the last time you kissed someone on the lips? All the time, dude. With less people. I'm not saying-- There's more. I'm not saying, but I'm saying in my lifetime, how many people you kissed on the lips and cheek are like, it's astronomical. I'm not saying like, the quantity of people. I'm saying the amount of individual kisses. Oh, it's like wheels or doors. Wheels or doors. Are there more mouth kisses? Or are there more cheek kisses? In an average lifetime? Oh, definitely lip. That's it. But that's it. I don't know. No. But what about-- What about like newborns you kissed them on the cheeks? We're talking about quantity of kisses, right? It could also be cheeks slash foreheads, because that's a big one, too. We're talking about quantity of kisses. Yeah. The number of times you either kiss a lip or kiss a cheek. Lip or elsewhere on the head. Because people do, like, top of the head, forehead, cheeks. I think it's lip. In the span of a lifetime, I think a person kisses someone on the lips more than they kiss any other part of the head. The average person, though. Yeah. Because if you're in a relationship, that's a lot of lip. Sure. That's a lot of lip. But you think about all the cheek kisses you had before that relationship. Yeah. And then within that relationship-- You make up ground, though. Within that relationship, there are cheek kisses, too. That's true, oh, man. That's what I'm saying, like, in a lifetime, though. If you get to live 75, 80 years, it's a lot of lip. It's also a lot of cheek. Because then you have kids. You kiss them on the cheek. You have grandkids. Not if you're Tom Brady. Oh, we'll take Tom Brady out of this one. He's an outlier in this relationship. He's a-- everyone he knows is kissed him on the lips. You think it's cheek? I don't know. It probably lips. But Tom Brady's definitely on the lips side. He's on the lips. I mean, he's probably never kissed someone on the cheek. He's the goat of lip kissing, yeah. He's the goat of a couple things, you know. I'm going to go lip, though. I'm more of a-- Well, think about this. When you're in a young relationship, how many times you kiss? Because when you're younger and you have a girlfriend, it's like, where's she going to kiss 24/7? Yeah, but when you're-- let's say, all right. Let's say you're 15, and you have a partner. Yeah. You're going to kiss. But the ability to-- sometimes, to kiss is not always readily available. But how many times you see your family? There are friends that people kiss-- there are friends on the cheek. I don't kiss my family. And I'm not just talking on the cheek. I'm talking-- Yeah, yeah. Do you kiss your mom on the cheek? Of course. Like, when you see your mom? Absolutely. Yeah, I don't know if I do that. My brothers, I kiss my mom goodbye, but I'm more into hugging. I mean, it's a-- it works in tandem, brother. It's a-- not always. You know what it is? My mom's like-- Oh, you double it up. You're a very Italian family. You're double arm kiss? Oh, Italy, those are cheek people. They're kissing. I'm saying the average person, whether they're Italian-- Yeah. --or they're anything else. I don't know if we're throwing the Italians in there, that really bumps off the cheek, because they love the-- My, my, that's two. And they do it everywhere. Yeah. Damn. That's tough. I didn't know we're including Italians. I think this is a very good argument. It's a very good argument. This is a good debate. I like it a lot. Now, if you're horny like aunt, yeah. Are they kissing above the chin or below the chin more? Let's not get in there, let's get this guy over here. There's a lonely male epidemic, Frank. No one's kissing below the belt anymore. It actually says here that chimpanzees, bonobose, wolves, polar bears, avatrosses, I didn't know that was plural, and even insects kiss on the lips. That's so cute. You're telling me that praying mantis smooch? I don't know which ones, but maybe-- Dude, if I saw a praying mantis go up to its partner and just be like, I would be so pumped. Yeah, that'd be crazy. Wait, which-- also wolves. I've never seen a wolf kiss. They don't have lips. They have mouths. They have, like, so what are they doing? They're just going up there, it's like-- They've got a, like, side kiss. I imagine. Or, like, they smush noses? That's cute. Smush noses, and they give one of these. You know, like beak touching. I mean, we're one of the few animals on the planet that have, like, usable lips. Dude, if a parrot landed on me, it went-- That's-- I'm counting that as a kid. That's what they would do. They'd go, what? You ever think about if you had a parrot, what would it say? Like, what do you say a lot of that it would say? I basically have one with my daughter, Maeve. And we have seen some of the stuff that she is saying. Fuck, apparently, it's what you're saying. You are my fucking daddy. That's great. I'm trying to tone it back now because it's getting bad. Yeah. Yeah, I'm still going lip, I think. Dude, Ruby, the other day, like, she goes daddy. You are dramatic. And Becca started dying laughing. I was like, where did you get that dramatic? But I think-- What do you think you're going to be? I would-- that's so tough, because I kiss back a lot. Yeah. And a lot of it is on the lips. The way you said that, it was like you were talking to your boys when you're like 12. Like, I kiss her a lot. But like, oh, before Becca, I come from a very affectionate family. I am a very affectionate person. Like, most of my friends that I see get a kiss on the cheek. You know, I've never seen you kiss the boys. Well, when you put it like that, you don't kiss me. Hey, look at this. Yeah, but when we see each other, you don't kiss me. No, but I have. I mean, it doesn't stand out. We dab in, like, hug. He says your kisses aren't memorable. Crazy. That is fantastic. That is bananas. I'm just trying to kiss bait me. He's trying to be like, your kisses don't even mean much to me. They don't even-- I don't even feel-- I don't even remember-- No, let's try to kiss bait me. He's trying to kiss bait me. You see that? I'm fucking crazy. I don't even know-- You're fucking horny over there. I don't even know if you're a good kisser, you know? That's what he's saying. He didn't even remember the last time you kissed me. Yeah, like people say you're not a great kisser. Do you kiss your mom on the cheek hello? Yeah. I don't even know if I do. I kiss my-- you know, my dad is. My dad's still throwing out heavy cheek kisses. Yeah, your dad would just tongue if you let him. All right, let's be-- let's take him back. I think I don't, because my mom is very short. So she's like here. Yeah, but do you kiss her on the head? I always said mouth. On the head? That's fine. Yeah, sometimes. Like, I don't really-- I don't know if I-- like, I definitely don't kiss like my brothers, hello. I know. Keith would-- literally, I would end up in a tornado like the Tasmania devil. He had that. Yeah, you would. I don't think I kissed Shannon, hello. Like, we-- hug. We're huggers. OK, that's fine. Why don't that sound like a slur? We're huggers. We're huggers. We're slurgers. That dirty, hugging devil. He's a hugger? Like, instead of a kisser. This one sounds way nicer than hugger. Yeah. You're a hugger. It's like, whoa, dude. I think-- I think they're-- I'm not saying that I am, like, it's cheek or mouth for me, but it is a really good argument to have that, like, yeah. You also got to think of the average family. Like, not everyone is as affectionate as my family. Not everyone is as affectionate as your family. Like, yeah. So, like, there are people also, as you were-- as you always tell Anne and I, we're in the middle of a male loneliness epidemic. So, like, you think of all those people that have never kissed someone on anything? You want to hear something weird? I have heard through vines of the grape or grape. Grape. Grape, grape, that some people who
are in long relationships when they have sex they don't kiss that's so weird yeah that's weird yeah it doesn't feel like it's got to be cheap people that's weird and also are we counting when you do that thing when you see your aunt and you guys your cheeks touch I just said that yeah I just said that that's what you do yeah you count that you count you're not kissing I mean this sentiment is as close to kissing on the cheek is I'm you thought I was just saying like you know on the person's I mean if I'm kissing no this is I'm counting this as a as a cheek kiss cheek to cheek cheek to cheek you gotta count that yeah I wish I could don't you wish you could just dab people up there's some people that like I wish I could just dab up my like aunts and uncles I like hugging because I'll never know if I'll hug that person again so it's like it's nice and sweet but it's also I mean I'm not saying they're gonna die but like I just may never see them again yet why like people go their own route in life and they move away or they have like you just don't get to see people for years or I mean I just you know I'm not big on the I'm down to do it to a small group once we start you know if I'm walking into a Christmas day and there's fucking 30 people there I'm like here we go oh I say hi to every single person of course I have to do too but like I got a hug and kiss everyone this is crazy now wish I could just be like oh like my aunt and shit just dab her up really yeah make it quick I like I like it I like it I nice embrace I'm more of as much as I like to Irish goodbye I feel like I'm actually no that's not true I guess it's different with friends I don't care if we say hi to each other really oh no I'm sorry I care if we say hi to each other I do not care if you say bye like I you can leave I don't it doesn't matter but I would like you to acknowledge when we see each other but just go do your thing but with family it's more of like a high oh no it's it's less about a high and more about a buy you know who has the same reason you know who has that same mentality the Undertaker I'm dead serious I saw an interview I think I think it was Bill Simmons and John Cena no I think it was Bill Simmons and John Cena or John Cena and someone I don't remember exactly who it was but he's like was talking about he was like the for I'd never drink alcohol the first drink I ever had was with the Undertaker that's a good first that's a great first drink mine was with a I was in was a Heineken in a backyard and it sucked mine was like are we talking like accidental took a sip you didn't know what it was or like I'm gonna have an alcoholic drink I think I think you you're purposeful I think it was with my sister maybe not maybe early maybe slammer I mean it is all right it might have been with you I don't remember nonetheless he was like the Undertaker gave me words of advice and it was like never say goodbye and he's like that's stuck with me like you like big Irish goodbye guy just never say goodbye to someone why I don't know I'm trying to find the profoundness in that I'm not the Undertaker yeah a lot of people say like don't say goodbye say like see you later because goodbye is final talk about morbid I'm you know fucking that's a that's a technical Frank thing like well technically well that's what I technically I will see you later in life yeah that's what I've heard I mean that's pretty dramatic to me yeah I mean I'm more of like you know I'll say bye to like my aunts and uncles when we're leaving and stuff I don't really care about saying hi like because I don't like the the formality of it like when I when I get there it's like now I gotta do the circuit like I can I'll talk to everyone at a certain point like it if we lock eyes like oh hey and I'll come over and you know but the circuit I love I I like the circuit when it's I mean depending on who it is if it's close friends and family I'll do the circuit but if I'm somewhere where I'm not crazy about some of the people there I'll I'll sit back a little bit you know oh we have to do it folks we do have some sponsors some more sponsors our last two here we have hymns okay hymns listen hair loss it's not just about hair it's about how you feel when you look in the mirror hymns helps you take back the confidence with access to simple personalized care that fits your life okay there are a lot of people that deal with hair loss and this is going to help them because they offer hymns offers convenient access to a range of prescription hair loss treatments with ingredients that work okay they have oral medication they have choos they have serums they have sprays they got it all doctor trusted ingredients and yeah you can stop for their hair loss and regrow hair in as little as three to six months okay so pretty quick turn around there there's no hidden fees no surprise costs it's just real personalized care on your schedule okay so if you're dealing with something like that or you 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select city merch uh you know t-shirts sign posters go take a gander look at it if you weren't able to get something when you came to the shows or if you want to get something and feel like you were a part of the shows go check it out at tbytourmerch.com thank you guys for everyone that got tour merch but we wanted to give you one last opportunity and let me tell you once it's gone it's gone baby okay just like ants kissing virginity it's once it's out the window it's fucking gone so go check it out tbytourmerch.com yeah okay well yeah where do you go I know I got to clear my throat uh uh uh god damn yeah you know right is that one of the most famous like I feel like that song is up there with like Avay Maria as one of the most famous songs ever made Avay Maria you know what I'm saying Avay Maria well I just asked I think I asked you guys this too but I asked Twitter and I was like what do you think is the best song of all time and for me bro I think it's landslide I mean that's up there absolutely that song it get I mean it's so good do you want me to just talk and like a human being here you want me to be technical about it like how are we describing what the best song is in your opinion personally I would go either bohemian or absiti you know I'm a little you know I'm a bitch for that song landslides up there I also love uh sympathy for the devil from the Rolling Stones oh that's a great song I see what other people said I mean there's there you can make an argument for any song that's like a classic you know I like listen to landslide the other day and I was like dude this song is so good dude this song and specifically the version from Shrek of hallelujah is such a fucking panger dude so one said I'm written that is like probably the most recent song that I think is like I think but someone is saying that just because they're they want to keep in line with the basement yard stuff like we could sit here and say like since you've been gone no no I think the world loves unwritten I think the world loves unwritten too I don't know if I'd put it in top 10 songs of all time we also got to take songs that are like old ones you know like I'm sure there's someone that's going to argue like a seed jaunty what is it like a sea shanti yeah shanti shanti see what are they called again guys help me out see shanti there it is yeah they'll be like all really the greatest song ever is you know there once was a ship that put to see the one was in that was a billion team
A couple of people said Iris by the Google dolls. It's a good song, too. - How does that one go again? - Ooh, you know what song I really like? - Never gonna answer me, okay. - Wait, what? - I said, how did that song go again, and then he used one. ♪ And I don't want the world to see me ♪ - All right. - That's good. You know what song that I really like? Champagne Supernova by Oasis. That's a great song. - You know what song is so intensely slept on? Drops of Jupiter by Train. - That is such a good answer, too. That song's phenomenal. - Like, and not even just like the words, because I don't know what they mean, but also like just the-- - Yeah, it's like a space. - And not see back it, like the way he sings it, like a, you know, like in Jupiter, in a A, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's a great song. That's a good point. Oh, yo, you know what, low key? I mean, I don't know how low a key it is. But God bless a broken road by the Rascal Flats. What a great song. Is that life as a highway? - Same band? - Different song. - Oh, okay. - What about the gambler? - Oh, oh, you, I think I know, shut up, shut up, shut up. Shut up, hold on, hold on, I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it. No one's talking, it's like, you gotta-- ♪ You gotta know when to hold 'em. ♪ ♪ Know when to follow. ♪ ♪ Know when to walk away. ♪ ♪ Know when to run, it's mad good. ♪ ♪ You gotta count your money. ♪ ♪ And sitin' at the table. ♪ - All right, I mean-- - Oh, you know what I did when I thought of this and I tweeted that landslide? I was like, you know what, I'm gonna watch this. And I watched the landslide scene from Jack Ross. - Don't do that. - I mean, I did. - But don't do that, though. - Yeah. - I mean, stairway to heaven. Led Zeppelin has some absolute bangarangs on there. - Someone said Leila. - Leila, I mean, that's a great song. - Leila's a great song, but I kinda like the, like, the piano part. The piano part of it more than I do the actual song. - But like, that's-- ♪ Bum, boom, boom, boom. ♪ - My dad used to play that boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. ♪ They're in, boom, boom. ♪ - They're saying imagine, John Lennon. - But those are for rated. - No, it's a good song. - It's over. - But those are people that are just like, they're, they're like, you better say it's imagined by John Lennon. If not, like, you're a piece of shit. - I think it's just like an overrated song. Like, I think that it's a great song. And I understand that probably at that time, it was like way more impactful for that time than it was for me. I listen to that song and I'm like, this is a good song. It's not the best song ever. - I mean, it is also like, it is now being tied to one of the most like second hand embarrassing moments of the last decade where those celebrities sang that during the pandemic. As they're sitting in their multi-million dollar mansions, and they just open up with, hey, imagine there's no heaven. - Coming from Gal Gadot of all people. - Gal Gadot. - Gal Gadot, duh. - You know, it's just, going to California by, Led Zeppelin is one that not a lot of people know of. Wish you were here by Pink Floyd. - Someone said, oh, truly madly, did you believe? Remember that song? - No, what's that one? - I don't know, if you don't know it by name, I don't really know how to sing. Oh, it's a, it's a, I wanna stand with you. - Unbelievable, dude. - I wanna live with you. - I wanna live with you in the sea. ♪ And I wanna live like this forever ♪ ♪ Until the sky falls down on me ♪ - I see respect here, my Aritha Frank. - R-E-S-P-Speed's T. - It's a, (laughs) - It's a hard song to do for karaoke if you're hammered, dude. - I mean, we know one part. Ange is like-- - Oh my God. ♪ Us be SD-Me-C ♪ (laughs) - Yo, this girl, I don't want to like, it was like the first time we were hanging out with our friend's girlfriend at the time. This is wife now, but. And she got drunk and we were doing like karaoke and she was like, "Give me the fuck." And she did respect that she was hammered. I was like, "I fucking love this song." - Yo, she crushed that so, so nice. - R-P-J-S-E-S-E-Me. - Oh, yeah. - It's so good. - I'm gonna remind you of a song you probably haven't thought about in 20 years, but you know what song is still a banger? Remember the song "S-E-X" by Life Jennings? - Nothing you just said makes sense. ♪ S-E-X ♪ ♪ Take a deep breath ♪ - M-L-M ♪ Who do you gonna go crazy with? - Life Jennings? - You've never, you don't remember that song? - That's a really, really good song. - Someone said a hotel, California, that's a great song. - Banger. - Whatever it takes, who sings that? Whatever it takes. ♪ Whatever it takes ♪ - I don't think you sing it so well. - There is around. - No. - I think that's what it is. - So it's a fast car. - It's awesome. - Fast car, I mean, fast cars is a well-known one. I'm just thinking that you're talking about a car. I know it's not, but like, you get a fast car. It's like, okay, and I know there's more meaning behind it. - Never been my favorite song. - Someone said, "Mr. Brightside, I'm gonna block her." (laughing) - There are certain songs that I think people confuse popularity with being a great song. - Seems from an Italian restaurant. - Bottle red. - Look, don't get me started on that song. - A bottle of white. - I have been obsessed with that song lately. - It's a good song. ♪ Things are okay for me these days ♪ ♪ Got a new job ♪ ♪ Got a new house and I got a new life ♪ ♪ I got a new wife and the family is fine ♪ ♪ Oh, lost her too long ago ♪ ♪ You lost weight ♪ ♪ I did not know ♪ - God damn it. It's so good. - Look, you see this? This is that? - We hit it. - Hop. - Hopelessly devoted to you. ♪ But now there's nowhere to hide ♪ ♪ Where'd you push my love aside ♪ - I can't, I'm still a little horsey raspy. - Hopelessly devoted. - Hopelessly devoted is so fucking crazy. Defying gravity is up there as a knocker of a song. - I said this the other day too. I think the melody, there's melodies in landslide that I'm like, there's no way someone can hear that and not like it. There has to be something scientific about that melody that is so good. And I feel the same way about a certain melody in for good. - Yeah, I haven't heard it yet, but you've never heard for good. I haven't seen the second part. But you've never heard the song? - No. - You've never heard for good? - No. - Are you insane? You've really never heard that song before? - Yeah, no, I haven't yet. - Oh, it's beautiful, dude. - Sure. I'm sure it is. - Oh my God, you gotta hear it. Oh, come on. - I'm sure it is. - People argue that's better than defying gravity. - Really? - Yeah. - Okay, we'll see. I mean, we could go on and on and on. I mean, my music taste is gonna bring out, you know, like, Hey Jude is one of the greatest songs of all time. - Frank, I saw a video recently and I was like, this could be, this is like the greatest, maybe moment ever, but it was, that's dramatic. But like, Paul McCartney was doing a concert and he's doing Hey Jude and he's playing the piano and it's just a sea of people and he just goes nah, and then he stands up and the crowd is nah, nah, nah, nah. - That's gotta be pretty. - And nah, nah, nah. - Yeah. - So loud. - That's gotta be better than that. - That's gotta be bananas, that's feeling. - Nah, nah, nah. - I mean, there's also gotta be something crazy. I mean, Paul McCartney obviously is a music legend and like, has a ton of songs, but like, the idea of creating something and then it lasts that long and it's like, still selling out stadiums 60 years after it came out. - It's wild. - It is bananas. And then he'll throw in like one of his modern songs people like yeah, get to Hey Jude, you know, like. - Yeah. - That's just nuts. I wonder what does that? Like, what's the reason my song is like staying power? - It's so hard to appeal to a completely different generation and you've done it, not even the one below you, but like, it continues. - I think that they're, like, at least I could, like, there are certain sounds and music genres that are so specifically tied to when they came out that they don't have the legs to last forever. I mean, like, a lot of people talk about like hair metal of like the 80s like that, you know, like white snake and guns and roses, like, they've made songs at last, but a lot of their stuff is like, it stays right where it is. And you see that now, a lot with like modern hip hop people feel that way. You know, even hip hop from when we were kids, you know, like the sound of like, you know, like, disturbing the piece, like that Atlanta sound, or even like, out west, like the hyphae sound, like, people feel like it's so representative of that time that it doesn't have legs. You know, I mean, yo, like, have you ever heard, like, OG rap? It's all about this and like, slick rick and shit. Yeah, like, it's so like, it's tied to a time. So it's not going to last forever. But like the stuff that is just like, you could play this anytime and it still works. Yeah, you know, hey, Jude's like that. I think a lot of like classic rock is like that. Like it just, it wrote like the standard for that genre. I mean, I don't know. I think a lot of classic rock is like, not gonna make it to Gen Z. I mean, I think it's already made it 50 years. If you can last 50 years. Oh, I mean, what's the oldest song? It's gotta be like a Gregorian chant. It's like the tip toe through the windows like that era. No, some shit like that. I mean, there's hymns that come before that. No, I mean, like, like a, like a, the oldest, like, popular song to be all like. Oh, I mean, ask fucking, you know, a brittle boy over here. There's songs from like, I used to have an electric.
Piano that one of the settings on it was Gregorian and you could just play and it would sound like I mean, I remember I would listen to the Pandora station like Queen Radio and they would mix in like Glenn Miller band Like like I don't even who's Glenn Miller band. I know Steve Miller band Well Steve Glenn Miller band is like an older like you know like the they did music during like World War II where it was like But like they had music at that time, you know, and I that's probably like the 30s or 40s Do you know what the number one song of all time is like the number one Like on metrics. It's the best-selling single ever Do you know what that is? Hmm would we know I think so give us an era or give me a genre Christmas songs. Oh, then it's got to be Jingle bells or white Christmas There's like 10s Christmas. Oh, it's white Christmas being crossby. It's number one. Uh, that's selling single ever Dreaming I mean, that's good. There you go. Staying power That's wild. What is does it have like the numbers? Um, is the best selling single ever 50 million copies it might be a different it might be a different like like you had to sell 50 million like yeah Yeah, yeah, but like also streaming now making one song and it does 50. Yeah, dude. I mean damn bang You know There are other songs that like Like you know what the greatest I just what I meant to say do you know what like I'm pretty sure The you know the best-selling album of all time. Yeah, he goes greatest hits. Yeah That's so like crazy. He goes a great, but that's very random It to me it is too because it's like the Eagles of course they're a big band But they don't feel like the biggest band in the world. It's just bigger than fucking the Beatles Well, I think this second one was for a while. It was Michael Jackson. I think it was thriller They're bigger than Michael Jackson. I think Michael Jackson retook the top. Okay, so but it's it's those two I'm seeing like it's yeah, it's pretty much it was greatest hits was like the top-selling album which is such a strange like again I love the the Eagles great album. I mean it's it's just like that's a cop out like it's a greatest hits It's a greatest hits album like a straight like hits album was thriller because every song in there became a hit But yeah weird weird weird bro. I came in and that like even 50 cent like coming out with Gehrish or die trying and then Bro, you're selling like literally an overnight success Yeah, you literally come out put one out mount. That's like you're rich forever basically But then he's but then he also put out you know St. Valentine's Day massacre or what was it called the massacre the massacre? I think it came out around Valentine's big for mercy to beg for mercy Which you know how I feel about that unit album? Oh, that was that was big promotion. That was so good You know how I feel about that album top to bottom all hits was it you who had the poster? Uh, I don't think I had the poster, but I did have a printout of the lyrics to every single song Yeah, that was my favorite part about getting physical When you open it and it had the lyrics in it had the lyrics and I was like oh, I can now I know the words There's some I have some old vinyls that have that too. It'll be like, you know, Steve Miller band. Yeah, and it'll be like the Joker, you know fucking you know jet airliner that is one of mine like that's up there for me jet airliner's a good one that's on It's so nostalgic for me it reminds me like of being like fucking I think there's another one on there called oh well take the money and run swing town Swingtown's a banger too. Yeah that whole album is fucking crazy Yeah, swimming pools by Kendrick Lamar reminds me of Minecraft Of what Minecraft? Why I said just listen to that song and repeat while playing Minecraft so now every time I hear it I think about Minecraft And then you got to go urine for the mind. What's what song reminds you of like your parents? I have one for each of them obviously Lane slide is my mom. Oh, uh, that's the easy one. Why? That's like my mom's song like she loves that song. Oh my god There's also another one if if we're gonna just go away from Lane slide called Vahiva La Is that oh, I'm thinking of the Jewish? No, you think It's like a it's I'm pretty sure it's logins and misceena. What is it? Nahiva Hala Vahiva La That was not Vahiva La All right, it's really good and then my dad it's Uh, it's a Spanish song From the gypsy kings. Okay, you know, you know, it's something reminds me of your dad I'm bed serious. Oh boy party like a rock star Because you probably like pulled up in his car blasting it. No, I have a very like vivid memory of Uh him picking me up at my house In a giant car. Yeah, yeah, and uh we drove to pick you up because you were somewhere I don't even know where and then we went to McDonald's and then we went to Connecticut for the first time and he and you were blasting party like a rock star So reminds me of your dad because he was like I have a bunch of songs. He's trying to hold your hand and hold Experience right there hotel California reminds me of your dad That's a good one. I would say it reminds me of my dad's my dad's favorite song a landslide also reminds me of your mom Uh, but then like my dad there's like random ones that like my dad is like obsessed with you know like My dad once I remember it was like Christmas Eve and we were driving and this was like later in life It was like 2009 and the song we are young by fun came on You dad loved it and I remember looking over at my dad and like my sister and brothers were in the back I was in the front seat favorite child and I look over at my dad and we were like singing the song and I look over and he's hysterically crying So like to this day that kind of ties it tonight. We are young But like my dad like there's like two songs and my dad loves from the j. once from the gypsy kings and once from Jorge Célezón Okay, coming on for the calle from the gypsy Kings. Okay. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Pitbull probably that sucks. Pitbull reminds you of your dad. Yeah, probably pitbull. Listen, your dad I've met him. He's a nice guy. I just want to say this. That sucks. Yeah, yeah. That's not great. Anything by anything. Anything by pitbull by the way. Just hearing. Just like the idea that your dad gets in the car puts the music on and it's whoo. Mr. 305 and he's just like on a leisurely drive to work. It's a fucking pitbull screaming at you. Yeah. Isn't that pitbull? I don't even know what you're saying. Oh whatever, Mr. Mr. Worldwide, you know? Yeah. That is Mr. Worldwide for Mr. Yellow. Is your dad Worldwide? I don't think so. I wouldn't say that. Yeah, I wouldn't say his worldwide. All right. Interesting. Very interesting. My dad's not Worldwide either. That's it happens. Yeah. Do you have any songs that remind you of your siblings? Any songs that remind me of my siblings? My brother while you're thinking my brothers is Ambition by wallay. God that reminds me of him too. They were so obsessed with that song loved wallay. They were like obsessed like it was like borderline weird and then my sister That's a tough one. Like anything from like Greece because we love that stuff growing up She she loved usher Yeah, I mean your family reminds me of that incest song. Well, it's not the song stop No way the song isn't about incest you guys make it about it. No, no, it is about having sex in a car But yes, when you like the song and your siblings and parents like it it is it is then weird Well, when you're when you're on opposite sides of the room and yelling at each other to be fair I'm not yelling it at my sister when I'm singing that song. I'm yelling it at the other The other people that are not related to me by blood Yeah, I don't know. I don't think there's songs like all like those like taking back Sunday and dashboard confessional Those remind me of like Shannon Thomas. Yeah, I like check. Yes, Juliet. Yeah. Well, that was like later But it was a little older they remind me of yeah, it's it banana pancakes Jack Johnson Oh, that reminds me of my brother Thomas. He was really into that the remedy and you're gonna love me by the back Woods is key. Oh wow, those are good choices. Keith loves those. I know those are big songs in the semi-charm live Keith knows every single word So that maybe for him, but yeah, it's funny. Yeah, I love music. I got songs that remind me of everyone like everyone has a song You know, what's aunt song? Yeah, I'll give me some time. I'll come up with a good one It's definitely like a flow-rider song or something. Oh, yeah, it would probably be something like that or it would be like You know like around the world by fucking because you love that song by that punk. I rather that I mean that's not as that's not great But I flow-rider's not great either. We'll we'll spend some more time together I mean now you're a pit bull than me. I could see you being a Margo Ritaville guy. Oh my god. You're a buffeter. Yeah, you're a That's how I'm like a slur I Can see you just being like a cinnamon. Hey, you know like
♪ Watching the sun break ♪ ♪ If you like pina colada ♪ - Oh, that's a good one. - Actually, I have been on a Yacht Rock kick. Thank you, Zach, I appreciate that. - Yeah. - There's some, you know, banger on it. ♪ Baby, come back ♪ - Ooh, that's a good one. - Only a full believes by the Dubie Brothers. - What's that man? - That's a Dubie Brothers song, that's so good. It's like their song. - What is that song? Down here, or is that, what song? - I mean, you just gonna have to look up Dubie Brothers songs. - Oh, he's doing that. What about beach boys? - To listen to the music. - Listen to the music. - Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, listen to the music. - And China Grove. - Oh, no, no, no, no. - Yo, they still like sell shit. - Good for them, they can pull push tickets, huh? - Nine million monthly listeners. - Good for them, I'm one of them. Let me tell you, I'm throwing that bitch on. - Yeah, you know. - Co-como? - No. - Co-como? - Well, like the beach boys were two, like that's two back there. - Bro, wouldn't it be nice? - Yeah. - Fucking nuts. - Yeah, it's a good song. - That's like my age group, you know? - Who apparently, that's your Spotify age group, yeah. - Yeah, that song is so fucking good. - Yeah, I can't remember any other ones off, man. - Sure, well, we could do this whole day, but we're not gonna do it all day. But thank you guys so much for, you know, sticking around for the entire episode. We appreciate it. Frank, where can they find you? F Alvarez, 8885 on Twitter. 'Cause well, let me change it. The Frank Alvarez everywhere else, T-B-Y-Tort-Merch.com. If you wanna get your hands on some Tor merch while it's still available, go take a gander and then patreon.com/thebasementary. And, and Prisco on Instagram.
Podcast Summary
Key Points:
The host shares a humorous anecdote about accidentally getting lotion in his eye, leading to redness and irritation, highlighting a moment of physical mishap.
A playful exchange occurs about the host’s glasses, with jokes about their appearance and the idea that they are fake or outdated, leading to a lighthearted critique of style.
The group discusses gift-giving, emphasizing thoughtfulness and personal touches, with one gift being a smoker kit and another being wall art that fits the recipient’s space.
A surprising gift is revealed—a Christmas tree trophy from a competition—followed by a humorous, absurd "big fat dick" joke, blending humor and absurdity.
The conversation shifts to cultural references, including a discussion of Frank Sinatra’s alleged 19-pound penis, which becomes a humorous, exaggerated anecdote about masculinity and body measurement.
A deeper theme emerges around the meaning of tradition and intimacy, such as how people once used hand size to judge penile size during adolescence.
The group reflects on the awkwardness and significance of early romantic gestures, like kissing in school, and how these experiences shaped personal identity.
A playful debate about the frequency of lip versus cheek kisses in a lifetime concludes with humor about the absurdity of human affection rituals.
Summary:
The conversation begins with a comedic yet relatable mishap—accidentally applying lotion to his eye—followed by a lighthearted discussion about the host’s glasses and fashion choices. The tone quickly shifts to a warm, thoughtful exchange about gift-giving, where the participants highlight personal, meaningful presents like a smoker kit and wall art, emphasizing connection and attention to detail. A humorous anecdote about Frank Sinatra’s legendary 19-pound penis introduces a playful, absurd element, which transitions into broader reflections on body image, masculinity, and cultural myths.
The discussion then delves into nostalgic memories of adolescent social rituals, including how girls used hand size to judge penis size and how early romantic gestures like kissing in school were viewed as significant events. These moments are framed as deeply personal and formative, revealing how early experiences shape self-perception. The conversation concludes with a humorous comparison of lip versus cheek kisses throughout life, underscoring the absurdity and affection behind human touch.
Throughout, the tone remains friendly, self-deprecating, and full of shared laughter, celebrating both the absurd and the meaningful in everyday life. The episode blends humor, personal memory, and cultural references to create a uniquely intimate and relatable experience.
FAQs
They accidentally got lotion into the corner of their eye, which caused irritation and redness that lasted for three days.
They wear horn-rimmed glasses, which they initially thought were a style choice, though they admit it's not the only style they've worn.
Frank received a 'Perfect Martini' wall art piece, which is a personalized and thoughtful gift that fits well in his apartment decor.
The recipient is excited about the gift and plans to use it immediately, especially the peach wood option, and enjoys the idea of pairing it with whiskey.
The conversation humorously references the average weight of a flaccid penis being around 2.5 to 3.5 ounces, with participants joking about personal measurements and comparisons to other body parts.
They jokingly claim that Frank Sinatra and Paul Anca share a '19-pound dick,' which is a humorous urban legend and not literal.
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