Disney Adults w/ Brendan Sagalow!

New Jersey, Philadelphia, Delaware. You heading down the shore this summer? Of course you are. July 10th, the boys are going to be at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino. Come out for a little AYG Live. Yes, and before that, we're going to be in Portland, Maine at Empire Comedy Club. Tickets going fast. Then we're going to be in Pittsburgh at the Pittsburgh Improv. And then Hilarities in Cleveland, Ohio. Get your tickets. RUGarbage.com. Stand-up comedy. Play AYG with the crowd. It's a good, good time. We'll see you there. Best summer ever. Hey! Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is RUGarbage. Hey, yeah. It's that little show where we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that if they grew up to be classy. Okay, just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's in a new addition. She just picked up a six-foot tank for the weekend. Of nitrous? Woo! All right. She's about to have her wisdom teeth pulled. She'll do it herself. My coast is coming at you from right now. Next to me, he is the CEO of RUGarbage. He's a bit of an international businessman. And thank God, my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody. What up, gang? Shout out to you. As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify. And the boys are climbing the frigging charts. God dang it. Oh, yeah. And then obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com slash RUGarbage. You go over there, you get all that freaking bonus content, gang, and join the 16,000 people we got going on over there. Yes, sir. Shout out to the Army. To RUGarbage and gang. We couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest finally back with us again today. Uh-huh. We've known him since Moses wore short pants. Uh-huh. Came up on the goddamn streets together. Very funny stand-up comedian and actor, voiceover actor, podcaster. Yeah. Freestyle rapper. You better believe it. Written rhyme to recording artist. On Interscope Records. You can hear him every week on SAG Daddy, the podcast. Give it up for Mr. Brendan. SAG a lot. Thank you, guys. SAG Daddy. And I've got something for you guys. Do you remember when you were first starting this show, and we were both doing a show with the name Garbage in it? Remember you hit me up? I had a show called Garbage Days, hugely successful. Another podcast called Garbage Days with Scott Chaplin. Yes, yes, yes. And Foley calls me and he goes, Hey, man, we're thinking about doing a show called RU Garbage. Really? You got Garbage in the name. Do you mind if we also do that? And I literally, what did I say to you? I go, We're both going to fail. Who cares? Good luck. Yeah, I was like, All right, good luck. But I preface it with the fact that we've been playing RU Garbage on the old podcast for like a year. Yes. I remember the show. I don't remember this at all. That's when I was running the goddamn business. Well, the fact that- Back in the day on the streets, when you had to use a little muscle. That's right. All right, now you're second generation shit. Here's to me and Sagalow. We're running molasses out of Canada. Drink, bro, bitch. You were in fucking Princeton. Well, just imagine. What was I doing there? I don't know. Imagine if I said to you like, Yeah, I kind of have a problem with that. And you're recalling this show now like, Are you a, you know, a- We'd have you whacked or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We weren't really asking for it. Oh, yeah, I was doing it anyway for sure. You know, it's like when you- We got our first podcast beef. We were just checking in. You know what I mean? Like, hey, just letting you know we're operating in your backyard. Right, right, right, right, right. Well, I'll tell you what. You can operate in the backyard all you want. The house is burned down. So, yeah, go hang out in the backyard. We're also changing Luke's name. We're changing to Brendan Sagalow, if that's okay. You're cool with that, right? A.K.A. Sag Daddy. Yeah, that's all right. That's fine. Take it all. We, I mean, we know you're trash. Yeah, of course. We're all- Look at me. What? We're all- I actually think I'm pretty classy. Shout out to the big dog's T-shirt, the gold and silver bracelets, and brand new tattoo. It's a free tattoo. This guy who came to a show went to my hotel room this weekend and just like did a tattoo. You got that done in the hotel room? Whoa, whoa, whoa. I got it done in the hotel room. That's actually pretty classy. It's pretty punk rock in a way. I felt like Pete Davidson. Yeah, that's pretty rich guy shit. That's famous guy shit. When you get your haircut done in the green room or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a haircut guy that comes with me to the Alpharetta Little Room. Over in the lab. Over in the lab. The helium lab. In the other room. I have a haircut guy. I imagine this was probably a Hampton Inn. Yeah, what kind of hotel room was it? I don't know. They just put me in hotel rooms and I just stay there. I should do a- Also another rich guy answer. I don't know. It wasn't a Four Seasons, was it? No, of course not. It wasn't a One Seasons either. I had the hotel room had like- The window was broke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it had like- The hotel had like things all over the walls. Like right above the bed it said sleep well or something like that. It was horrible. I think that's a mental institution. What city? Yeah, right? Yeah, and they gave me my own jacket. Handcuff on the radiator? My own Snuggie. My own Snuggie. What town? What city was this in? Alpharetta, Atlanta. Alpharetta, Atlanta? Alpharetta, Georgia. Yeah. What club's there? Helium. Oh, the Helium's in Alpharetta. The Helium's in Alpharetta, yeah. It's a great club. Oh, okay. So you were in Atlanta. It's a great club. I was in Atlanta, but yeah, the town is Alpharetta. Yeah. Which is like 40 minutes outside. Whatever, but yeah. Alpharetta. Yeah. Man. I mean, it was so boring. Sounds like an old black lady. Alpharetta. I talked to Alpharetta. We're gonna cut that out. This is not gonna be good. At first, I went, he's going out on a limb. I semi-tried it. I was like, I don't think this is good. No, no, no. This doesn't feel right. You went, I'm not jumping out of the plane. You go, yeah, you went, I think we're a little too close to the ground to jump out of the plane. I went, I'm going. Sweet Lord, Alpharetta. Sagalow came in today, and he was singing a police song that I've been listening to a lot. So lonely. Yes. Love the video. They're on the train. Oh, I don't know the video at all. Great video. Great song. That's how he consumes music is just YouTube videos. Music videos? Yeah, on YouTube. I watch everything on YouTube. It's wild. That's crazy. I listen and watch it on YouTube. That's how you, well, what about music when you're traveling? You watch it on YouTube while you're traveling? Yeah. Like in your car or something? My car. No, he uses that. My license is suspended. You have a car? I do, but my license is suspended. No. In the car. What? Why? I never turn my plates in when I switch. Long night in Alpharetta. You never turn your plates in. I didn't turn my plates in when I got a new lease, and they suspended my license for like almost a year. Jesus Christ. Starting in March, but I had it taken care of, so I get it back in June. Okay. Back on the streets riding dirty. Okay. But I do use YouTube on that as well. Strange. Yeah, I know. That's strange. I know. Well, you're on a plane next to him. He's looking at videos. Well, what I do is, so every year on June 1st, January 1st, sorry. Just let me preface this before you get into this. Okay. This is the thing. He's singing a police song. Yeah. So, long night. Great song, whatever. He follows it up with a. A selection. A selection from the Disney animated cartoon, I guess. Hercules. Yeah, I mean, I'll stand. Which is basically a show tune. Ah, yes. You're singing musicals on your playlist. Yeah, of course. I have a playlist called The Masturbation Compilation. I make it every year, and I love. I mean, the Hercules soundtrack is one of the best soundtracks in the world, and I'm looking at your eyes right now. I'm not convincing you, but the song. The song is that makes. Also folded real quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I saw. I can see it in your eyes. Wait, so I know what I'm teamed up against, and I. Do you make a playlist for the entire year? Yeah, and I just feed songs that I like into it, and I just keep listening to it over and over again. And then at the end of the year, do you. The first week's pretty rough. I'm just listening to So Lonely for one. For a whole week. Oh, okay. You don't do it all in one day. Like, on New Year's Day, you don't sit and put, like, 4,000 songs in a thing. No, no, no. Then do you shelf that at the end of the year? Yeah, I'll listen to it again, but I usually. You start fresh. I start fresh, yeah. Yeah. And how many show tunes would you say you're into? Tons, dude. It's filled with Disney songs. He's a Disney adult. I'm not a Disney adult, okay? You're not not a Disney adult. I like. I'm an adult. I'm a. I like Disney, and I'm 35. Okay, my apologies, Your Honor. Okay, so. That's what my lawyer would say. He'd go, Your Honor! This guy's barely an adult. It's the Disney thing, but not. Like, you don't have things from, like, Chicago in there, do you? Or, like, late man? I have stuff from, like, Book of Mormon and stuff on there. I'll give you that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know you're a South Park guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I love Broadway as well. You do? So, pretty classy as well. That is. I'm trying to win here. I didn't know that about you. I didn't know you loved Broadway. Oh, that's a fun. Ask a fucking question once in a while. Hey, why don't you call me every now and then? Hey, call me every now and then. That's pretty funny. Prove to us why you think you're. How much. Okay, classy. You got jewelry on? Yeah. How much was that jewelry? It was a couple hundred for both of these. So. So, it's not really real. I don't need to get insurance on it. I almost stopped wearing these. I don't need to get insurance. I've never heard of that. The people have insurance on their jewelry. Did you know that? I don't. That's all fake, too. I don't roll with that. I heard Fetty Wop or somebody talking about that. What do you mean? That they all. It's all fake. They do wear fake. Yeah, like, if they're going somewhere, they're like, why would I wear the real thing? I know, yeah, yeah. Well, I got this one for Christmas from my lady. I have no idea who Fetty Wop is, by the way. Fetty Wop sings Trap Queen. So, I got this from my lady, which was about, like, 300 bucks, I think. Okay. And this is, like, 100-something, 200 bucks. Where do you go? Does Jacob do those for you? He's got Jared. Yeah, I have his name tattooed on me, Jacob, right there. Holy shit, you do? Who's Jacob? Jacob is my best friend since we were in, like, first grade. He died? Nah, he's still alive. I'm going to his wedding next week. He did get his. That's a DUI, though. That was when he got a. When they put him on house arrest, I got a tattoo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went, free Jacob. Wait, you have the tattoo of a man who's still alive? that isn't your father he's more healthier than me this guy's alive and kicking he's doing great he works out every day he's very healthy i'm going to his wedding in two weeks does he have your name tattooed on your arm he does not know that's a wild upper hand what the fuck is going on when i was when we were younger what sparked it yeah um i visited him i i would go visit him in college because you're in love with this guy well uh he got friend zoned yeah yeah i think i like you just not like that i love you let it go let it go i would go jacob doesn't bother me anyway it's frozen it's frozen god it's on my playlist he doesn't know it i don't know frozen that's a goddamn banger i know it don't you have a little baby i do yeah you're gonna watch frozen he's starting to know he's starting to learn all this stuff yeah watch her bro if there's a price for rotten judgment i'm all right i guess i've already won that anyway so i would visit i do love i was like prove that you're classy we got to the bracelets and found out he had another man's name tattooed on him and we completely he literally got one decent thing i'm like i got i got these bracelets and then that's that's that's the best case for yours you could make for yourself i'm so far into garbage i could never how have we not known that you had that tattoo all right so i don't really brag about it or anything like that to be honest i mean uh so i would go visit i you know a bunch of my friends went to the same college including uh binghamton university yeah um so i would go up there next to the state penitentiary binghamton is a rough where they make erasers yeah i mean my it's pretty good one of my buddies bought a uh bought uh what's that what's it's like a gun for arrows what's that called a crossbow crossbow yeah my buddy bought a crossbow and he's like bro we just got a crossbow you gotta come up to binghamton you jump in the car for seven hours yeah and i went i went straight to binghamton and we just shot crossbows at the wall that they were now are they selling drawings sounds like somebody would who was selling we my one buddy had yes yeah would buy a cross very good very good wow we're this we're the same we're essentially the same people yeah yeah yeah same generation i'm a little older but yeah yeah yeah we're pretty much how old are you 39 yeah okay same shit but yeah and maxim magazine all that kind of shit yeah bro i mean fhm i did the deep guts fish eye lens with like malcolm in the middle t-shirts on and stuff like that that's that's all that like goose remember how big like like radiation goose was in the 90s and shit like that you know what i'm talking about slime slime yeah any yes sorry yeah slime for the old heads whatever pop up hey second let's get out of here like on nickelodeon um so yeah to make a long story short um i went up there and we were just laughing about it was always a running joke because we were like we were best friends like we got attached at the hip in high school that was the thing we got um oh like your award yeah the award we got what is that called uh uh whatever we got that gayest dudes award fuck you man yeah this the principal was like and for the biggest homos we have brendan go to brendan we actually we we had a we had a when when facebook first started and we were like we were like let's just create our own facebook because we wanted to look at a buddy's girlfriend and like see if she was hot and uh you know because we're not gay and uh we we we she's gross yeah we go oh in that dress with that top wait you guys started a facebook page for years together together called jaco brendan so would you're in love with this j-a-c-o-p-r-e-n i don't know dude fuck you fuck you guys how dare you you're gonna object at the wedding how dare you i object i know i'm gonna i'm gonna be hitting the glass jacob she doesn't even have her name tattooed on you anyway so we it was always a running joke that we would get i would get his name tattooed on me and i had a bunch of tattoos i was getting so i didn't really give a shit like this whole arm is full of like i don't care and this is so is this arm too and um so we were like we on the way to the tattoo place that's a heart-shaped grenade right yeah yeah so um because i wear my heart on my sleeve ladies let me go are there any goth fat girls that listen to this probably yeah shout out to the beautiful girls out there hell yeah um yeah so and on the way there we were like well what's it gonna look like and all that stuff and i was like and there was someone was like someone was like we should put it in an anchor and i went and then someone was like have the squid we went as a group like all my friends went and we were laughing and giggling the entire time it's not bad i know it's horrible what are you talking about we we asked the guy to make the eyes high we went can you make the i gotta be honest with you it's changed it's faded to the point where like i remember seeing old men who were in the navy like that's what that looks it can't be that old to fade that much i got it when i was like 21 i think okay so and then clover really adds to it above it well the clover i got when i was 16 but anyway whatever what is this you know but this is are you going this is going to be a lot of fun i'm going to be a lot of fun i'm going to garbage days garbage days uh so we yeah the biggest regret i think of it i'll tell you this is right before on we quit at love yeah yeah it just could never work is right before we got it done he goes we said to the tattoo guy we go oh add a pirate hat to it and the guy i thought it was going to be like a pirate hat like a like a cartoon captain crunch pirate hat this guy did like a realistic pirate hat and now it looks like a fucking cock it looks like a slice of watermelon it looks like a penis i thought it's a it's another man's name wrapped in a penis what's yeah what's this circle that's a bit of a turn on if you guys make the anchor i guess oh the top of the anchor so it's an anchor that makes on his watch i thought it was a duck if i'm being honest well yeah and jacob's always like hey man you can get that covered and i was like yeah maybe i don't know hey man things are getting pretty serious my girl why don't you cover it up i'm gonna be wearing a suit without without sleeves are you the best man in the wedding i'm not he has a brother so are you in the wedding party i am in the wedding party i'm wearing a tux again with the sleeves cut off you're such a dirt bike i am wearing a tux i am wearing a tux yeah hold on are you officially in the wedding party or are you just wearing a tux because the other groomsmen are i got a feeling he's not in the wedding no none of the other groomsmen are wearing tux i'm wearing one tux with the tail going out no uh i everybody's wearing tuxes so you're in the you're i'm in the wedding you're standing up there with him yeah are you first behind his brother i hope i mean i got his fucking name tattooed on me for christ's sake the fact that i'm not the best man is going to be it's just bullshit jacob yeah are you are you making a speech no should i no not if you weren't asked i i might freestyle something i don't like that oh jacob don't get married i love you anyway anyway so when are we recording are we starting the duality of well of course duality yeah spell that this is pretty one way i don't know what you're talking about well he listens to musicals i'm a pretty he's got the brain of an eight-year-old what are you talking about baby shark have you guys heard this sick baby shark song i'm going to see teletubbies at uh wembley stadium if you guys want to come what was your first concert the beach boys the beach boys i was at a fair and i was a little baby that's okay but first no one's ever referred to themselves at a concert as a baby i was i was a little baby we talked to kokomo was that when that was going on i think uh i don't know but it was it was a cool fair there was a bunch of uh hot air balloons that were getting that were taken off and shit it was cool that's pretty long island i don't know where it was i was a little baby i don't remember i was a little baby i was 13 years old no but the first concert i went to as an adult i don't know as somebody who like bought tickets right and was like i'm going to a concert can we guess yeah you'll never guess it you'll never guess my only were they releasing music when you were that eight what how old were you i was like 13 so 2005 maybe like 2017 oh jesus is it is it in your is it in your vernacular that would make me 16 years old is it in your popular music vernacular that we would know of the brendan we know well i mean my music is obviously all over the place so i really don't think you would guess it but i do think it would fit into the you know you'd go of course maybe is it hip-hop rock it's rock let me just tell you yeah it was um you'll never guess really you'll never guess yeah yeah yeah i'm steve harvey i i steve harvey of family food i go let me just tell you what it is i like sex put me in my play yeah i go i'm just gonna tell you i'm sick of guessing bit of a turn on yeah okay maybe i'll get your name tattooed on me i come in tomorrow you got brendan what'd you guys do last night you go oh god i'm hammered man why does my neck hurt kip you know fabletics i love fabletics you're a big fabletics guy well i'm gonna tell you something right now you better start moving over uh-oh uncle hank's down a few pounds yeah i'm getting a little more active a little more movement that's right and i want to be looking for some fitness wear you know i'm talking about point me in the right direction over there fabletics let me know what's going on i don't know what's going on i don't know what's going on i don't - I will, I'm a big fan of the joggers. We spent, whatever, The whole time we were in L.A., I don't think I got out of the joggers. I travel in them. I wear them around the house. They make me – I've got to get about five more pairs of these, Jones, because I'm wearing the heck out of them. They cut well, look good, but you're not like – you don't look like – for me, I'm not trying too hard. That's what I should do here. I'm a big fan of the joggers, and when you sign up for VIP with Fabletics, you get 70% to 80% off of everything. It makes it easy to grab multiple workout shirts, shorts, lounge pieces, everyday staples for the summer without overthinking it. You can look. They see what they have as a total, as like a package, as a uniform, as an outfit. They have, like we said, the versatile pieces that you can wear throughout the day. I can wear them on a workout. Like I said, I wear them traveling. I wear them running errands. I wear them walking the dog. I wear them hanging out with my baby and still feel put together because it makes – there's things about bozos like us. You just got to increase a little bit, and you go, ah, I feel nice. I feel fancy. Yes. Just a little bit of 5% twist. That's all you need to just elevate your game a smidge. Let's go. Shop right now, fabletics.com slash garbage, and get 70% to 80% off of everything when you sign up as a new VIP. Take a quick style quiz, which I took very quick, and be sure to select garbage when prompted to unlock this offer. There's a limited time offer, so don't wait. Again, that's fabletics.com slash garbage for 70% to 80% off everything as a new VIP. Do it. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Yes. Summer's here. Okay. As we know, Uncle Hank, very, very serious mental health journey. Yes. Start it with BetterHelp. Mm-hmm. Let's go. Do yourself a favor. Whether you got something big going on, something small going on, you have a milestone in your life that you have to overcome, that you have to talk your way through. Mm-hmm. Go to a professional. Yes. And get yourself the help that you need, if you need it. You got something small going on. Makes it easy. Yes. It really makes it easy. It honestly has changed my life. That's good to hear, and I can second that. BetterHelp has over 30,000 therapists. BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 6 million people globally, and it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. The proof is in the numbers, baby. BetterHelp does the initial matchmaking work for you, so you can focus on your therapy goals. And I've always said therapy can be overwhelming and daunting to think about, of calling somebody up, making this stuff, making these appointments, finding out if they're right for you. Let BetterHelp do it. You can get in the pool. You step into the pool instead of jumping in. You walk down the stairs. You get in. You go, hey, this might be my guy. This might not be my guy. Let me try again. But at least the ball is rolling and you're working on yourself, which I am a big fan of. You don't have to say yes to everything this summer. Find support in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com slash garbage. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash garbage. Do it. I went to. I went to go see the Viva La Bam tour, which was C-K-Y. It wasn't C-K-Y, actually, which sucked. C-K-Y wasn't on it. It was him. Okay. It was. Who? That's funny. It's the name of the band. Oh, him. Okay, I got it. Who's on first? What's on second? I don't know him. Who? That sounds weird. It does sound weird. The name of the band. Is it a person or is it a band? It's a band. Him. They're like gothic metal. That's the dumbest shit I ever heard. I know. They're Swedish? Swedish or what are they? Finland? Finnish. All right, I'll give you that. Hey, let's finish the story. Yeah. It was Finnish. I mean, it was him and it was this band Skindred and another band. Skindred is like reggae metal rap and they were, you know, and I was like 13 at the time. You know the Architects? No, who's that? No, it's a good band. Oh, okay. Okay. This has been hip hop corner with H. Will. No, they just played at Sonic Temple. You know what that is? These are all video games. You're making shit up, dude. I thought this was up your alley. You go, yeah, you're making shit up, dude. Sonic Boom. They were like around my chemical romance era. Oh, no, I wasn't really into that. Really? To be honest, yeah, no, I didn't really. I mean, now I'll listen to some of their songs. This is such a new money arm. It's crazy. I know, I know, right? Fucking bright red new tattoo and a gold and a. Gold and silver. That's what makes it really trashy. The double bracelet is a. What was the occasion your girl got it for you? Christmas. What'd you get her? I got her Nikes. A rap song. Yeah, I wrote a couple verses. Christmas rap song? I wrote her a hook. I got her Nikes and some clothes and stuff and just shit she would like. And a necklace. I got her a nice necklace. Nice. Very nice. Speaking of your Long Island early days, do you remember the first strip club you went to? What was the name of the first strip club you went to? The first strip club I ever went to. And let's do the last. Oh, man. Well, the last was yesterday. And so. No, what was the first strip club I ever went to? I think it was. Was it 18 or 21? I don't remember. It was for. You know what it was for? I think it was. Guys or girls. What was it? I remember. I think it might have been for Aaron Berg's bachelor party. That was your first strip club? I think so. Yeah, yeah. Nerd alert. What age were you then? You were in your early 20s. But I was like, anytime she stopped dancing, I was like, come on back. I was so hammered. I was just getting a lap dance the entire fucking time. I spent so much money there. And I was hammered, dude. And then the last one I went to, me and Matt Richards went to a little bit more of an urban one. Was this during the pandemic? I think so. Was it the one close by to where we were performing? Maybe. I don't know. But I remember. It wasn't a strip club. What are you talking about? It was a strip club. There were ladies dancing by poles. I think it was a little more than that. Well, most strip clubs. Those are if you have enough cash. Yeah, if you have enough cash. Is it in the same building that we were doing the outdoor shows? No, no, no, no. Oh, no. No, but we were driving home. That was a mob run brothel. Yeah, we were. I don't even remember that. Where were we? The rooftop. The one rooftop in. Oh, yeah, yeah. I didn't. That was a strip club. No, I went to. It wasn't a fucking Target, I can tell you that. I know, something. We were just driving and he was like, you want to go to a strip club? We're like near a strip club. And I was like, all right, yeah. Okay. We just. I think I had just quit booze too. So I was like, I was just there like sober with these like big black asses up in my face. And I was just like, excuse me, miss. I'm okay. I'm driving. This guy's a cop. Why were you doing this? Because you're fucking. She was farting in my face. Pay extra for that. That's good. Her name was Alpharetta. Now we got to leave all that in. Fuck. That was all stupid. That was the best thing in the name. That was all part of the bit. Sax, what was your first job? My first job was I was a bowling alley. Jesus. All right, that's enough. I worked as a party host for children's birthday parties at a bowling alley, which I actually got demoted after a couple of months. They had hired me for. How old were you? I was about 14, I think. This boy's got the brain of a child. 14, 15, yeah. Stop singing those goddamn show tunes. It wasn't a hard job, but I just never really cleaned up after. What'd you get demoted to? Janitor. So you weren't cleaning up, so they demoted you to janitor? They just had me come in. They were like. Because I remember coming in, and they were just like, we don't have any parties. And I was like, okay, what am I supposed to do? And they were like, just clean around and stuff. And for hours, I would just walk around cleaning. They never gave me any direction. The manager actually got fired from there because he strangled this girl named Blaze. There was a girl there named Blaze who was like, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. He was a lesbian, and he was a big fat guy named Franklin, and he ended up strangling her. Not killing her. No, no, no, no. Not killing her. What'd she do? It's just a Tuesday in Long Island, dude. That happened in every town in Long Island. When you say party host. He put his hands around her neck, so he got fired. He was mad at her or something. Jesus. I know. So the party host. You are fucking next level trash. Well, tell me about it. I mean, you know, and so the job consisted of you'd go in about an hour and a half earlier. You'd set up the table. You'd set up how many. You'd know how many kids were going to be there. You're all getting tokens, this, that, whatever. You'd go. You'd put up the things. Would you fill the pitchers of soda? Yeah, you would fill the pitchers up with soda. Good question. Good question. You would fill the pitchers up with. I don't know if he's being a dick or not. You go, oh, you know. Oh, yeah, yeah. You should start. You should be a hired questioner for the president. A questioner? I don't know what it is. He's giving me attitude about it. Great question. You go, hey, did you fill up those pitchers yourself? You go, would you put your ice in them, too? I like a lot of ice. Did you put your shoes on yourself as well? They usually don't put ice in them. They did put ice in it. It actually looks so good. A pitcher of Coke. We talk about it all the time. Oh, my God. I love soda, dude. I love it so much. It's the best. You know what? You know where we should take Sagalow? Pizza Hut. TNT Amusements. Oh, my God. What is that? It's a place I grew up with, and the guy made these infomercials. But it's a. Todd Tuckey. Shout out to Todd Tuckey. TNT. TNT Amusements. He sold video games, but he kept them, and then he just turned his warehouse into an arcade. That fucking rules. So, like, all of our birthday parties were there, but then he also had. We did a whole episode on it. But he also had. We had him on the show, actually. Wow. I forgot if it. Sags, you would love it. But he made his own infomercials. I would love that, dude. He might be your real dad. Oh, really? It's insane. That's awesome. wow yeah he's got hi my name's t dude and he edited what he edited all in the camcorder so the cuts are horrible and he was like back in the day though yeah yeah i love that dude yeah i love that there's a there's a huge arcade in portland uh oregon i forgot what it's called it's like game over or something like that and they have like 5 000 pinball machines and all you do is like you pay 20 you could play all day it's it's it's from having my bitch yeah i saved up my money for it are you a pinball guy i love pinball dude love it jesus christ i would go to a barcade alone i still do that like up up until a couple weeks ago i i go to a barcade that is you currently still you're like yeah yeah a couple couple couple but i'll put 20 in i'll get a bunch of coins and i'll just be playing fucking pinballs alone it's the best it's the best feeling next question will will i get will i fill up back to the show and that he that was genuine now what do you gentlemen do for work so how's this podcast going there you go i like what you're doing with this who babysat you as a kid um it was this woman tv sega i go babysitter what is that um no my parents would just leave me at the beach boys concert no uh i this woman named alice who we would go to her apartment in brooklyn she actually let me in brooklyn yeah you live in fucking long island i know i know you would have to go to her this is like an episode of girls yeah and she would um she actually got fired my parents fired her because um uh there was more babysitters in long island no but there they fired her because she let me and my sister walk to the bus stop alone and like go meet my parents or something like we took a bus alone or something i was really young yeah a city bus i think so i was really young and they were we we fired her because she was dangerous wait yeah she you and your sister you were in brooklyn and what you took the train you took the i don't know i i really don't remember i was a baby i was a baby um yeah i was a baby i don't know i really don't remember but that's what they said the story is you and your sister went unsupervised on some sort of bus exactly exactly that's crazy exactly just just for for everyone when we ask that question that's what i'm looking for when i ask a babysitter do you get shit for the babysitter question well sometimes it just misses like oh my my cousin or something all right it takes a specific kind of trash it was a it was a woman in my head this is what she looked like she was she was uh missed out fire built but she was italian so she had like this italian kind of flavor pretty hot yeah i know i know she actually wasn't hot because i remember her not being hot it's very specific because we had the same thing i mean my cousins would babysit us from time to time actually a lot but our main babysitter part is this woman who lived in my cousin's uh neighborhood yeah who she had special needs and she was probably like 45 and she watched us that was to babysat us oh my god so to have a babysitter that isn't a part of your family no i don't know how they met her yeah i know nothing about her i think she might have come to my sister's graduation or something like she wanted to come or something like that they're like okay you can that's next level track i know you want to go there your parents had to go and drop you off from brooklyn yeah yeah yeah well they worked in the city so they would they would drive through brooklyn and drop us off wait this was a daily thing every day every day we would go we would go to her house and any family uh not that wanted to watch us i guess i mean we had family the boy's got a weird name tattooed on his arm only a baby wow okay yeah were you a blockbuster family or independent rental store independent rental store i didn't even know that that they might have been gone by the time uh blockbuster all day every day i still have some blockbuster video games that i used to one of the best things was going to blockbuster and getting video games and just playing them and i would keep them i mean i probably owe blockbuster like two million dollars because i don't think that's how i still i still have toy story 2 from for uh n64 is that what was what was the system of your childhood uh n64 and then and then xbox and then playstation and then xbox again and now i'm playstation guy playstation 5 i assume yeah you better fucking believe it and what's your game that you play right now i'm playing resident evil 9 so it's i'm getting scared i'm just sitting around getting scared all day is it scary it's fucking terrifying you'd you'd be terrified yeah really it's a terrifying game yeah of a video game yeah dude yeah because i'm i i played this close to my tv and so i'm blocking out any kind of peripheral you know reality and then um it's the things jump out of you it's zombies and stuff like that and it's it's all mutant kind of things and it's really scary what's what's what is the setup i'm also yeah what's the i'm also pretty balls deep in uh pokemon red by the way i play pokemon red on the on the on my switch on the road what is that it's pokemon is that where you go look for the shit in real life no no that's pokemon go which is insane okay for me i can't believe people i still see people doing that and i'm like you know it's it's that's insane to me but what's pokemon red uh game of our chat my childhood i download the rom and i play it on the road how old are you 28. yeah it's my childhood too bud you're what are you 33 i'm 18. you guys are weird and old okay yeah i actually don't like this questioning stranger danger yeah like two i'm gonna call my babysitter to pick me up are you guys in their 40s i'm 35. you're 35 i'll be 35 in two weeks you two are closer than you and him well no he's 39 no trust me you two are closer well probably in like nerd stuff like you play video games and shit not as yeah i want to get more into it not i just yelled out of 20 minutes playing with two minutes oh really it's my mobile game what's your mobile game pokemon go fallout shelter right now oh i play candy crush i'm on level like 11 000 also an old lady on candy crush yeah i've been playing candy crush for like eight years and i'm on level like a thousand like 11 000 i you know this is i swear to god i don't know how i didn't know this much about you a shapeshifter i almost feel like we are like you've surpassed like you are we are unqualified like if if this was i know if i'm leaving you guys speechless it's uh if this was a doctor patient situation i think at this point we would refer you to a specialist but he doesn't have insurance so he can't would you agree with this is like an episode of house where they don't know what's wrong and they can't fix it yeah um all right well like let's okay what what is one what is wrong with you what is one thing that it could be very small it could be something at hotel my penis what is one thing that you do that makes you feel classy it doesn't have to be classy but like that makes you feel like oh this is nice i don't know about small like ballet uh i'll get like a massage okay i like massage where do you go for those uh like uh uh what's that fucking place spa spa um what the med spa oh no uh massage envy what's a massage run you it could be like a hundred bucks be like a hundred it depends on what you get i mean like i'll get like i haven't gone in a while but like lately what i've been doing is i'll go to uh the mall and sit in one of those chairs i have done that i do like that i don't mind it's like 10 minutes there's way more comfortable than you yeah well or i'll go to a massage place and sometimes you can just get like a foot massage and and for like 60 bucks you sit in there and they'll rub your feet and stuff and then i go to my shows and stuff like you'll do that when you're on the road well there's one right next to gotham so if i have time you'll do it for city spots that's crazy if i have got your shoes off in midtown yeah if anybody dogs are barking if anybody is seeing me at the cellar about at about 10 30 my feet feel great are you at that place next to ben's are you at that place no i don't know but i have gone i went to a place well i went to a place once i didn't know it was a masturbation place and i i went there and i uh got the guy and i can i call you jacob this is so crazy sir i apologize i did not know i came here for a real massage and now i'm bowling room i went in there and i got a yeah i got and i got a hand job for the first time ever really yeah you didn't want to say no or like you were okay well i knew the you knew well no i went in for a real you walk into a fucking jack shack you know it guys wait a minute you're an escort i go officer i swear to god i thought this was a real massage you're in a parking lot uh i i went to uh kip let me chime in real quick about chime chime see what i did there i chimed in with chime and let's be honest younger version of me but a really used chime i'll tell you that right now where were these guys when i was 16 i know where were these guys when you were 40 let's be honest everybody hates banking fees everybody can't stand that stuff that's where chime comes in chime is changing the way people bank they're not like a traditional old bank where they charge you fees and gatekeep perks and all that kind of stuff try it talk about perks and rewards chime's the best do yourself a favor start using chime free banking feel free fee free banking feel free feel free to bank with fee free banking not to mention no overdraft fees no monthly fees no minimum balance fees that's what i'm talking about sometimes uncle hank gets a little light in the pocket yeah they got stacked benefits you'll get five percent cash back on chime card in a category of choice like gas or groceries all while budgeting credit through regular everyday spending with no credit check big man likes that you can also grow your money faster with savings rate that's nine times the national average check that nine times the national average uh so right now join the millions who are already banking fee-free with america's number one choice for a banking head to chime.com garbage at chime.com garbage sign up now it only takes a few minutes do it do it feeling short on smiles does your frown need to be turned upside down we got the perfect dose of comedy 30 minutes of scrubs zach braff donald face on sarah chalk and the rest of the gang at sacred heart are back for a brand new season we play medical doctors who are besties just like in real life and we'll definitely be up in each other's cases scrub premieres wednesday on abc and stream the next day on hulu side effects may include laughing cheering and lots of high fives hello superman i went i i wanted to get a massage i was in a story i was in astoria it's in china i was right across the street if anybody's in a story i go across the street from the there's a uh or around the which is a nice restaurant in this way i'm outing a jack shack oh i don't know maybe yeah what do you do it in business it's illegal they know all right oh well okay so i went to this place near a place whatever we'll cut all that out but um i'm gonna send you guys you can find it on rub maps yeah oh really apps devoted to this yeah oh well whatever man hey and i walked in and i went up the stairs i wanted a real massage giveaway it's up the stairs now i thought there were some places that do that this is new york city is this during the day or at night it was it was like dude it was like 12 30 in the afternoon it was whoa you must have been sleepy for the rest of the day oh buddy i and i went up the stairs and i kind of knew immediately because it was very like you know all of the curtains were like bed sheets and there was a bottle of pills in the lobby and i was like i wonder what those pills are now i probably know they're like horny goat weed probably like bike uh i'm not viking in the shit viagra viagra that's pretty sweet yeah and then some um disgusting woman came out and uh she was wearing little tiny leopard shorts that was very revealing and i was like oh god i think i'm in a thing but i go can i see your certificate of massage and then what really what really tipped me off is when she jerked me off i gotta feel it wait a minute are you completely naked yeah that was another another tip too i mean she goes all right take off all your clothes and i took off all my clothes and i was in my boxers and she went take those off and i went okay that's when i was like did you get it still in the lobby i got naked in front of her yeah that was when i was like i don't think this lady's a doctor shit's going down let me see your kinesiology degree yeah she walked out and the real massage person came in and went ready for your massage i went who was that lady how long how did she actually give you a massage yeah but it was like it was horrible they just do this they do this move a lot oh it was horrible and i was like okay that's another telltale sign that this is bad then she was massaging my legs and i had spoken to a buddy of ours i think don't lump me into this yeah our buddy ian who had done this before kind of addicted to it at one point i'm pretty sure uh and i asked him i said what a rat he's talked about it you're naming places you're dropping names i know i know this guy's wearing a wire i know i'm just excited uh and i'm gonna get them out of here buddy maybe here you go i go uh i go how do you know how do you know they want to jerk you off and he goes he goes well the signal is you lift your butt up a little bit so while she's doing my legs she's getting kind of close to my balls over there like now i feel gross um i'll just finish the story i lifted my butt and she she was like she said something she was like and i went yep and she went boo and then i i gave her like a hundred bucks and i left i mean wait she did it while you were laying on your stomach yeah yeah i mean she asked me to flip over but by that time i was just the same stars kids wait you just jerked off into the bed uh yeah i think we call that milking yeah and it got all over my uh body and then um she cleaned me up which felt very nice um dry towel and uh i take 20 back from her she was pissed with how much i gave her though because i didn't know i went in with enough money for a real massage and you're supposed to give her like $18 i thought it was by the minute i only need 14 minutes just my feet and then i left there and i felt shame for yeah a long long long long time well i wouldn't but now i'm kind of i'm like if i wasn't in a relationship i'm like i want to go find another one of those it's fucking sick so i'll get a massage is a classy thing i'll do no it's not uh you stiffed the woman and you came on yourself that's not that i'll take a see alice i do like going to like a nice steakhouse i mean remember we we went to were you there did i did i i know i invited you but i don't think you went were you there we for my 30th birthday i took everybody to del frisco's you know that was one of the only social things that i've really ever done really and in that regard i went to i went to a birthday dinner with sagala yeah i wanted i wanted i was 30 years old i wanted to take all my friends that was a big step for me great big step for me too i mean it was really fun i picked up the check i picked up the check i picked up yeah yeah what was that check if you don't mind me it was a prefix menu it was like a grand it was it was a lot that's a lot yeah i had the two ounce but i was like get whatever you want everybody gets steaks we'll get appetizers i really wanted to look good for a second i wanted to feel classy that's very nice yeah yeah i love picking up the check i can't do it but i'm going to do it but i love doing and i like picking it up and i roll it up and i throw it in the trash i like picking it up and into someone else all right that's very good okay uh do you put your hand on the wall when sorry do you put your hand on the wall when you're painted a urinal no no because i i must i don't like touching the bathroom at all what are you sleeping in just box naked you sleep i sleep naked is that weird i mean my girlfriend said it's weird she's like normal people don't sleep naked and i was like when she sleeps over you sleep naked she lit we live together she doesn't sleep naked no she no she she's fully clothed and you're naked she's wearing jeans and a vest fully clothed yeah she's she's wearing a full disney mascot outfit that is a little weird then no she wears a shirt no he's saying for you yeah for me no not her why is it weird that i sleep naked she wears a shirt and underwear not to be no okay you sleep naked on the road yeah yeah i take all my clothes off and i get so the hotel catches on fire you're you're i'm fucked i'm like yeah i'm i'm i have to be out there holding my tiny dick in my hand standing outside yeah i love i just like it i don't understand why people don't sleep naked yeah we're animals thanks yeah there you go what do you sleep in fucking a big hat and uh pajamas boy what day is today uh spit it i'm spit it do we have a podcast today you are ebenezer scrooge you go well if they'd rather in a good way yeah yeah thanks you go you go we have to pay a lot of pussy we got our pay our team someone'd rather die than than work on christmas you go well if they'd rather die then they better do it and deplete the surplus population we have dan soda coming in okay kid likes musicals i love uh i love that that movie specifically too every christmas i watch the scrooge movie with who the jim carrey one is really good okay it's really good i'm a big christmas carol yeah yeah it's actually in a production of christmas carol yeah it's actually in a production of christmas carol oh yeah would you play the fucking uh place where he works that was mean uncreative i don't even know what it was called would you play in the play a building would you play one of the buildings out there hey you know what i'm talking about you're a tiny tip it's one of those mob nicknames it's the opposite hey what's up slim yeah you go the first time tiny tim's dying of gout in the play god bless us this is all we got bless us everybody like topper who's topper the guy who blows everybody backstage oh what's up is my boy topper i'll meet you outside i was like scrooge's nephew or something i was a fucking i was a bum still are small potatoes that's awesome this guy's a day player he's at the ymca you're a great actor though thanks pal you're a good actor thank you very talented man yeah whatever don't start that now what do you mean don't start that now don't try to win me back dickhead um okay oh man have you ever done one of those uh punching bag machines at like a bar or a carnival yes of course of course yeah yeah yeah it's called a girlfriend i go how hard did i hit you she goes this is like a 900 Someone's Here's your spider ring Okay I do But I'm not like A big fan of those Yeah I don't really care about those You're not like a macho guy That's like tough guy shit Yeah that's tough guy shit I don't need I don't need that To know that I'm tough I needed to find out That I'm not that tough Yeah I don't want To know the answer I don't want everybody On the boardwalk To know I'm a huge pussy It's like when you go To a gas station You see what the last person Put in It was like five bucks No I don't like those I like video games I like playing like Like I love pinball And I love like Fighting games Okay What does a vacation Look like for Sag Daddy At this point Any vacation I'm going on Is because I'm working The weekend there I'm with you You know what I mean I'm going to like Aruba Or a ski resort And then I have to do An hour that night You've done the Aruba show Not yet I would like to though But that was just A good example He submitted my tape Have you done a ski resort He's not answering my emails Have you done a ski resort I did a ski resort A couple of months ago Can you ski I snowboard And I'm very In jeans I'm not very good at it Yeah I'm like Going down sideways Yeah I'm going down with the Yeah it's going like this On your heels the whole time Yeah and Slow down Everybody's yelling at everybody Yeah my girlfriend Caroline She was like She's like I'm just gonna She's like I'm just gonna go to the top She's like a huge skier Her family skis She's like So she was like I'm just gonna leave you And I was like okay And I'm like Going down I'm like you know That's all I'll do But then I had to do an hour For these people Did it go well Was it in the ski lodge It's on the slopes It was in one of the resorts One of the hotels Okay She got to go too Free weekend for her Yeah yeah she's a comic So she was just open for me There you go Yeah there you go You guys You guys tour together now Sometimes I'm not really at a place Where I can bring Fucking my own openers I got you I want to But that's fun These locals Jesus Christ Talk about Abernathy Abernathy Abernathy What was her name Aberdine Yeah so Do you remember any of your AOL screen names Yes My first one was Hotdog964 Because I love Sick I love the hotdog Then I was Then what was I was like I was like Coolguy69 or something Yeah you were Ironically It was supposed to be ironic And then the one that I just Had forever You're like 10 at this point Yeah The one that I had for That stage Stayed until You know it died Was XPyro44X Because X The bookend X Was big Yeah yeah yeah And I Cause I wanted everyone To call me Pyro That was my That was the nickname What are you a Haitian gang Good Gang member What's up That's Pyro Hey that's Pyro Well actually So I went to You get the diamonds tomorrow I went to This camp called Camp Tioga Which is in It's where all the Haitians go Yeah yeah yeah And Everybody had You know Everybody had Nicknames there And I wanted a nickname And I wanted everybody To call me Pyro You know you got these shirts That said Camp Tioga And everybody put their Nickname on the back I wrote Pyro On every single one of my Shirts And then About a week later This new kid came To camp And everyone's like What's your name man And he was like Call me Pyro And everyone called him Pyro It's just like T-Bone From fucking Yeah Everybody called him Pyro So I just had all these like You know My nickname was stolen From me essentially And he was like Such a cooler kid Everybody loved him Did you like have lighters And stuff out to be like Pyro No no no I just said I just told Maybe Maybe I don't know He might have had a I don't know He was an older kid So Cooler kid He was a cooler kid He was older Was it Pyro P-Y-R-O P-Y-R-O Yeah yeah yeah Imagine saying Call me Pyro I know It's not cool for either of us I guess I tell people Call me H-Foley He was nine You're ten You're fifty Call me H What's up Yeah so I got my My nickname stolen from me Unfortunately What were the And I never asked For a nickname again I wanted to be called Bull for a second Bull Why Bull I wrote a Cause my initials are B-S So I was like I was trying to own it Because everybody would call me Like bullshit And all that stuff Like all the All the kids would be like Bullshit Ha ha So I was like I'll be Bull And I I got I went to one of those Kiosks in the mall That made hats And they I bought a hat Airbrushed Had them Not airbrushed But they did the Like the sewing Embroidered Yeah Yeah and it said Bull with one L I thought that was cool And I was getting Super into hip hop At the time So I was like That'll be my My rap name MC Bull MC Bull Yeah MC Bull With one L How's that going Didn't stick Ha ha ha Ha ha ha Ha ha ha Saggle This is nuts My last one That stuck My last screen name That stuck was Spitfire 542 Oh like the Boarding company Yeah Yeah that's a good one Spitfire What was yours Did you have No you were You were You were already in college When that came out Yeah I think I was probably Out of college Yeah Yeah 90 I would have graduated College in 98 I left in 96 Damn dude Ha ha ha Dude the concern On his Crazy bro I finished early You were out of college During like screen names And stuff Yeah I finished I did college In two years What What Two years Yeah Did you get a degree Or Yeah What What college was it Fucking Baking college What kind of college Was it a dog school Fuck you I'm just I can't think of anything Good one Pyro Ha ha ha Man Pyro's got burned By Pyro Hey play with the fire You're gonna get burned Sags Nah I fucking Flunked out Oh I went to Three colleges Any degree Uh yeah I graduated With a bachelor's In communications From uh Pace University Oh Not bad And I was on the Dean's list I love a squad this year Ha ha ha I was at I also I was on the Dean's list At Nassau Community College Get the fuck Out of here You better believe it Wow I'm a good student You and a guy That got hit by a bus Ha ha ha I don't know My joke was gonna be You and Air Bud I didn't understand The joke But I just figured I'd say it You and some dog Ha ha ha That's like in my head It was like you and a dog Who could like Turn the fan on Or something Ha ha ha You and the squirrel That can surf Ha ha ha As water They can't get our References together Sagalo Yeah Kevin if you mind If you don't mind I would like to ask Sagalo the Hamburger question Please Hit me Hamburger Okay Number one Lead into it How do you get Your hamburger cooked Medium rare Gentlemen Gentlemen Agreed Will McDonald's do that Ha ha ha They should They really should They really should They should Yeah Yeah I don't know why they don't Medium rare They get some of the best Quality meat out of anybody Cause they order so much Quality? Yes Yes Google it The quality of meat At McDonald's Isn't it Aren't their burgers like No That's all fucking bullshit Get out of here with that Ha ha ha That's all Chinese propaganda Ha ha ha Yeah I love I mean I'll still eat it Okay Yeah I get it Medium rare You go to a nice place though You go to like the Smith Ha ha ha I'm not saying you do They gave me attitude once So I hate them forever Sir you have to put a shirt on Ha ha ha Sir I'm not calling you pyro Well we're a big Smith family If you're gonna put your feet up Wear shoes What was the beef there At the Smith I don't know They gave me attitude Like some sort of like At the lady at the host stand Like gave me something I just remember being like Fuck her man Pyro party of two Ha ha ha Ha ha ha Ha ha ha Or bull MC Bull MC Bull Yeah Watch this Luke hit me McDonald's meat quality Is rigorously controlled And meets high safety standards But it's classified as Standard mass produced commercial beef Rather than premium or gourmet Damn Fuck Foley's a company man I don't think you want High safety standards For your beef That's it dude If you have to run High safety standards Make sure there's not like Thumbtacks in there Yeah Well those are good Also man you are part of The propaganda machine How much are you getting On the back end Yeah Yeah yeah Check my website Go to hroley.com It just says McDonald's good Okay Forget about the Smith Promo code Grimace Alright forget about that Check Wendy's I mean they got it Wendy's rules You go to a nice You go to You get a nice burger From a place Yeah Like a gastropub Okay Okay It's a nice burger Mm Take a bite of the burger Mm Okay My mouth is watering Do you put the burger Back on the plate Upside down What Okay Or do you put it Normal side down Normal side down What do you mean upside down So the This It tends to be When it's like a brioche bun Typically Brioche The top of the bun Is heavier and more dense Sure Than the bottom of the bun Sometimes it's like a little sliver Sure These are juicy burgers Juicy burgers High quality meat I'm talking about White Castle I mean I'm gonna do that Cause it It does sound like a good idea The idea is it absorbs the Oh that's great So the bottom doesn't Anytime Compromise the structure Anytime food that I'm eating Is getting absorbed by itself It makes me feel fat Makes me feel like I'm like dipping it in itself You know what I mean But I will do that Because that's a great idea Yeah you kind of go It doesn't work all the time But you know And I'm a burger guy Like I love burgers Don't get me wrong Don't get me wrong I was actually One of my nicknames For a day in high school MC Burger Burger's a good nickname Yeah yeah Is that a burger No Anything after a fat food Yeah no I would take burger I bet you would Yeah a couple of them Alright enough about me Give me a burger Your nickname's Topper. But you failed that test. Oh, I'm sorry. But I will do it from now on. do you have a family group chat i do yeah are all the members in there um we have my my current family which is you know i've never heard that term it's my mom my dad my sister all in one chat then we then we have a big one with all of the relatives and stuff i thought your mom and dad were separate or divorced they are but they still for just family communication for family communication that's good that's good for like you know eastern stuff where you know we still like egg hunt and shit like that so they they asked me to uh come out and stuff what do you mean you egg hunt every year me and my sister my sister is three years older than me oh jesus yeah we still easter egg hunt yeah at your house at my house yeah my mom's house yeah is your mom's house the house you grew up in right yeah in long island and who will hide them my dad he'll come over to the house he no longer lives in and hide them in the backyard backyard he hides them throughout the house yeah you do them in the house we do them in the house and uh oh my god i tried to back out of this he's got the brain of an eight-year-old i know i tried to back out of this i said to my family i was like i don't want to do this anymore and uh it was a whole thing and my mom was like it's the only thing your dad ever asked you for and i'm like okay why does he your dad loves this he loves it and he films us and we're walking around as two almost 40 year olds uh what is it are they does he hard them and hide places yeah sometimes it's really hard does one of them have some money he's going getting warmer uh they do have money in it a metro card some of them have quarters in it quarters quarters and then some of them have like 20s in it so like the darker the egg the the more expensive the sweeter the juice he doesn't um your dad doesn't that he didn't get remarried did he he did does he have kids with them his new wife she has kids do they come over no i actually just met one of them recently what yeah we we don't really we're not really close like that like i don't i'm not not with his family i don't i don't like well i met him because i went to his backpedal how old is this kid sure no of course 27 he's 27 yeah so he's like you i know i know and i really should be close with him but we don't really have anything in common are you tight with your stepmom do you have a relationship she's nice yeah she's nice she's nice go over there for dinner and stuff like that they live in florida your dad lives in florida now yeah your dad comes up here he flies yeah you bring the eggs i think he puts it on his business card too so um really yeah he you're right everybody yeah he does i was trying to get a joke um uh no yeah he'll fly up to do an easter egg hunt with us and then we'll get like chinese or something and it's just the four of you uh yeah yeah i mean my mom's about holding on to the glory hold on on easter brutal yeah my therapist will be like you're off to tell him he can't you don't want to do it anymore and i'm like i tried man you should do it it's fun it's for you i know i'm like i'm like whatever it's it's for you get chinese food on easter i think so yeah this year we did that might be the most garbage they're jewish no he's not my dad is jewish yeah i'm half jewish yeah just not easter he's half jewish it doesn't matter he's celebrating easter chinese food on christmas is a is a jewish thing 100 love it easter we should be going to like a nice restaurant it doesn't matter yeah yeah go have peking duck somewhere go sit down my family loves fucking chinese food so we'll get it on easter the way jesus wanted what does that sagalow order look like it's gotta be a couple hundred bucks in chinese i don't know i don't pay for it that's all on fucking uh daddy what are you the bunny rabbit wait and the four and the four of you sit down as a divorced family in your mom's house yeah and have a chinese feast will we go out to a restaurant oh that's different we'll go to a restaurant we'll eat chinese oh that's a nice chinese restaurant yeah yeah that's completely yeah yeah yeah and we'll uh i mean nice a nice chinese restaurant is still like what like that's not that great i love them though yeah they are nice i know and uh yeah we we they they still are in contact and stuff i mean my my my therapist is like it's weird and i'm like is it weird he's like you're on your family's like trying to keep itself together i like that yeah man i mean yeah you could write a book on that day alone that's crazy is your bed on the floor my current bed no no you live with the girl i live well i'm hey i'm as as trashy as i am i still like a bed above the floor like i like i like i like my place clean nobody likes it on the floor it's due to circumstance i know it's hard to get up you ever wake up and you're like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like up in the morning you're like fuck i do a sit-up but i like i'm a clean freak i like i like organization in my apartment i like it all clean and and places and things put and every year i'll do a uh like a i'll clean i'll like i'll do a clean for usually clean more than once a year no but i'll like i'll like a bit of a wacko i run the vacuum every year january 1st i let the roomba just go crazy you have a roomba no no no i don't have enough room for a room but that'd be like getting a dog in in a new york apartment do you have a dishwasher i would have to put the roomba out back to get its energy out you gotta go look at him go you got a chain dog look at him run uh what were you asking do i have a dishwasher yeah uh no no it's on the dishwasher okay do you enjoy the uh movie four brothers yeah except when what's his name gets shot i don't like that who the jack the white kid i didn't see it yet cracker jack yeah in the late 90s early 2000 did you enjoy a cbs show entitled becker no i don't even know what that is so what's becker i'm not a man of his his stature wouldn't know that do you like cottage cheese no i don't like that at all i'm more of an american cheese kind of guy and i'll you know i'll sometimes if i don't do this anymore but i used to love it love having the you get the american cheese and just go down to the fridge open it up throw a cheese like the pre like the craft singles or like the craft go to the deli and get it's not the craft thing you mean you love taking a slice of cheese out of the fridge yeah and eating it yeah but you're not the first one i've heard say that it's great it's great it's how i get my pills it's real dog shit trying to give the roomboat pills keep spitting them out have you ever had your belly button pierced no no that's crazy what'd you what'd you call the remote growing up um we would call it the remote but i knew some people that would call it the clicker clicker the clicker yeah it's good have you ever named a pet in a voicemail like you reach brendan megan and ruffles no no because i know i never did the voicemails when i yeah no and i've always had a cell phone so did you ever have any ring back tones yeah i did what'd you have i had um i now is this your ringtone or when i called you when you called me chingy i think chingy would play and it'd be like hotel the hotel you know whatever what song is that keys to the hotel that no no no what's the chingy one with snoop dogg and the the hotel uh fuck what's that called i don't know but see if you can find chingy or uh or like a some 41 song or something like that you're listening to taking back sunday hell yeah they're from long island holiday in the holiday in at the holiday holiday a 12 pack of corona yeah yeah yeah and then i go hello sorry sorry it's so loud at the mall right now what's up what's up you got bull yeah yeah yeah this is bull go bet one and i'd hang up and i go one like i'd turn if you ever tagged anything or graffitied yeah this week yeah go check the bathroom one of the reasons i stopped drinking was because i got fucking hammered and i was uh and i found spray spray paint and i just started spraying the ground and spraying walls and shit where uh i don't really want to say yeah sure it might incriminate me a little bit but yeah you've ratted everybody else out really mum's the word when it comes to his own i see how it is fucking state's evidence over here is your name really brendan or what burger burger sagalow i mean you know uh man what a yeah ride what what kind of luggage do you have i have a um trash bag it's a it's a it's a bandana on a stick i know i have a name brand luggage i have yeah i think so i mean i don't know i i might my one of my girlfriends one of my girlfriends got it for me when i like years and years ago and i still use it it's all torn up and stickers are put on it i was i was in la guardia and i was on just hanging out i was just hanging you know that's where i sleep sometimes and i was at the top of the escalator and uh i let go of the luggage for a second i just went down the escalator and it's destroyed it's like but still works like still zips up and stuff so i didn't hit anybody no thank god i always worry about i know i'm like if anybody they would have been pow fell right to the ground so no i mean what was the last time i got this when was the last time you played laser tag um it was a while ago but it was an option recently we i was hanging out with uh my girlfriend and her brothers and we were like that she has younger brothers and we were like should we laser tag but instead we went on that thing where you like climb it and like you got a harness and you're like click to a thing what are you climbing was this in a mall uh urban air was this urban air i don't know maybe no no no it was in virginia somewhere but you would like walk around on like ropes and stuff it was like a jungle gym yeah and uh so that's what we did recently and and mini putt yeah in virginia in virginia what are you doing down there shows family you know i was visiting her family in richmond huh or norfolk or some shit interesting yeah you have godparents yes i do my my older cousin and my uncle my uncle billy and the older cousin's a woman right mm-hmm okay jill jill yeah jill and billy jill and billy yeah those are my i got confirmed i got uh uh what the other ones communion baptism yep i got a confirmation name all that stuff what's your confirmation name francis that's not bad i like that i got it because i was really like captain planet i got red ranger yeah yeah brendan the real one sag the hamburglar i got it because the older brother in malcolm in the middle's name was francis and i always like that so that's why i got that you're a big malcolm the middle guy loved malcolm in the middle i didn't watch i thought it was one of the best shows yeah it was great it was really funny yeah home run yeah no becker but you know i mean this gets trashed i don't know what you want from me well how can i can i no can i save this is there any what save it buddy you're maybe there's classy things i do as well what do you think we should be holding you up like simba are you kidding me this is legendary yeah you should have a picture of me in here we should you should have a wall of people that are like that's pretty good that's pretty good it's not bad yeah cut that that's my idea we should have a picture of you on the wall what do you good job what do you think you could say like what is the class we tried to give you an out with the massage and you're getting jacked off yeah i know um but no the steakhouse i do like steaks steakhouse and stuff like can i push back on that oh my god please i'm pretty sure your dad picked up that jacket why do you think so because i remember you telling me and he did yes he did all right damn it it was a birthday present it was a birthday it was a birthday present that's a big easter egg yeah it came in the golden one that was a dark egg it was my birthday present so technically uh-huh i picked it up who picked up the check i let it slide for a little while but you're right what a dirtbag i respect that let him fucking hang himself that's fucking insane i think caught it alive i love it no what do you think you could tell us i like nice cars i guess do you have a nice car i don't know have you ever been in a nice car i have a nice car tattooed on me yeah that's not it man do you read i listen to audiobooks and i'm pretty balls deep in the hobbit right now your audio book and a hustler oh you're audio book and a hustler you're audio book and a hustler i still can't get over i don't know i slammed my teeth on the microphone this kid's a natural right now i remember when he said yeah go to like aruba or something and then i've never gone to aruba i've never been invited actually but i would i would do that gig for the trip to aruba he led with the aruba i wish disney world had a fucking uh uh comedy club in it i want to do that aruba show too i know i want to do it i mean dude that's all i ever saw when you know we were up here it's fucking this one's going to aruba i would love to go to aruba i guess so why do you want to get to get on vacation why do you want to bomb in the lobby yeah fuck that that's fucking hilarious dude all right we gotta wrap it up sag daddy the podcast yeah sag daddy the pod plug away as well as fart carnival and i'm hitting the road i got a lot of road gig love it gigs coming up and uh i'm really loving it my hour is getting there and i love it i love it i'd love more people to come out and see it so brendansagalo.com punchup.live slash brendansagalo to be on my email list i won't bother you i won't spam you but i'll let you know when i'm in your city and um just come out yeah you just you did the um uh are you garbage and french show with us yeah that was so fun man monster pop when you came up on stage thank you yeah monster pop it was so good i mean what a good show and then like and like uh nate and dan and it was it was all great everybody loves sag daddy thank you and i love you guys love you buddy kippy what do you got for him uh guys we're over the road uh we got portland main coming up that's a small room get those tickets i think two or three of the shows are already sold out so if you snooze you lose then we got pittsburgh do it the improv then we got a weekend in cleveland hilarity get those freaking tickets and atlantic city the boys are coming in hot let's go baby c-n-a-c sags we love you love you too guys gang we love you we'll see you next week peace