Different Dimensions w/ Craig Conant | DOPE AS USUAL Podcast

Do you know about all that Santa Rhea shed demons and people getting replaced? Oh, I know that I don't want to know about it. I wrote with Jesus Home of You. You're not, you don't fuck out of here, bro. I really don't want to be a picture of you at eight. Fuck you, Satan. Hey, what's up, guys? Welcome to The Dobos usual podcast. My name is Thomas Dobos, y'all or whatever you want to call me. It's my co-host, Marty O'Neil. What the fuck is cracking? Today we have Craig Conant. How do you say your last fucking name? I've heard it's said twice too much. Craig Conant. Conant. Yeah. You're from LA? Yeah, born and raised. So there was hash bars out here? Yeah, I'm like La Brea back in the day when it was medical. I used to go to this one shop and it was cracking. It was like cheers, but for hash heads and you just pull up a sea, they dab you on. What was it called? I think LBC was on like a pico in La Brea, like that area, like-- 'Cause in that area, you're from, do you remember the hidden, speakeasy weed? Oh, yeah. Were you pulled a bomb in the door open, the wall? Oh, not that one. Oh, that's some school we do, shit, dude. This was some shit, though, you brought in a glass jar and they give you five bucks off of a straight hippie shit. Oh, is like a recycled thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Glass water. Yeah, they definitely want paint taxes. No. No, I did. They bring a dirty hash bar. Yeah. Hash bar. Yeah, it was lit, bro. Little romcakes. Everything mom and dad. Oh, this is 2008. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, because I remember getting edibles from like this lady made it. Yeah. I bought it at a store. What did she pull? It's so good. Yeah, it was. I trust her more than these, man. I trust it all. I trust it all. Corporations. You know what's one thing, when I stop trusting mom and pop shit, it's going to be disgusting. But in the bay, there's a, there's a female grower. She's very, she's pretty well known. She's known for putting her fucking period blood in the soil. In the soil? In the soil while it grows. Well, the soil, that's all right. No, it's not all right. Hey. It's organic, man. That's what she said. You could piss in the soil and it's good. I don't piss in me. I just don't do that, too. I want a hippie that's like, no, these new treats and bugs. What's it? Bat guano or human guano? I'll take the Bat. I'll take the Bat. I agree. I take Bat guano any day over human caca. I do this. That's disgusting though. Ace material two got me over Bat guano. I'm like, yeah, it's kind of good. It's cool. Do that rhino scene with him popping out? I had a picture of Bat guano. It's perfect. In case anybody's like, yeah, this is how I feel like exactly. The kids. You know? Honestly, as a kid, dude, when you're a kid, did you think everybody was the same guy in different movies? Like when I was like, five, I'm like, that guy died in a movie. How the fuck is he in this movie? You think that when you're a kid? No. I was retarded. Yeah, you were. I was retarded. Amity. No, I good. Yeah. No, because I was like, I watched. I watched. I watched. That's more killer. So I'm like, that guy's dead. How was he? How was he in this new movie? Robert Daniel Jr. I'm like, how is he alive? They shot him. He's Iron Man. And now. Yeah. It's so funny how you can be just a drug addicted guy. Everybody talks shit about it's like, you're fucking Iron Man now. Yeah. He turned the page home. That's lovely. That is. I showed my dad Tropic Thunder this weekend. He's never seen it. Yeah. Classic. RDJ. It's so good, man. Oh, man. Every time. It's a bad boy. It's a black face off a whale. He should've got an Oscar. You forget. He was like, oh, yeah, that's a white guy. I thought I was a Bernie Mac. No, that's racist. I'm just joking. All right. He's going to be burning the king speaking of a black face. Did you guys see Jamie Kennedy do black face as a judge? It was fucking hilarious. He did black face as a judge. He did a show, a pilot where he's a judge on TV, but he's in black face, black hair, lips, talking. It's hilarious. I've never seen her. And he heard of this. There's a little Jamie Kennedy under there. This will hold. Let me pull it up. Let me see. Pull it up right there. Please. It's not that it's bad. It's black. It's in subtle. I don't understand. Oh, Jamie Kennedy. Oh, I think. Oh. Jamie Kennedy. I thought you meant Jamie Foxx. See, I'm retard. I didn't. I didn't. And white face too. Jamie Kennedy. Oh, I did see that. I did see that. Holy shit. You did start your dad during the original idea. You. If I'm like, but he's black, dude. Yeah. He did him face. What was he? This is Ray Charles. Yo, okay. Where's the hot topic? Did you bring it up? Where's the area? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Incredible. Oh, shit. Yeah. Just go brown. Basically, I love just show brown. He's the shit. Have you seen him do long form podcasts and talk shit? Oh, shit. Oh, my God. Who's going to say something? Come on, Harris. There's a hole. Yeah. She was stating the Montel. Jordanson. You've got mad at me for that. It was so funny. I don't want a side bitch as the president. We talked about this. You can't be the main. You can't be our president. He said that. He said that. I said that. You got so mad at me. It's true. You can't be the side bitch. Well, and she's not home. She's not home. She's not home. She's a good. I got you. Fuck them all. They're all fucking rapists, by the way. Yeah. They're all weird as fuck. Yeah. I don't trust her. I don't trust him. I don't trust none of them. What's that? I do that. You know, it's funny. I usually say Jesus is king. Westside bitch. It's just like as a joke. You know, and I make silly jokes. Like gang bang for the Lord, homie. And, uh, yeah. It's just fun. Weird shit. I say that's that's a little inside joke. Your fans won't get it. Yeah. We did a full sheet at the park the other day, Rocco. How hard did that gang banger try to preach Jesus to us? Oh, yeah. He pressed us. You go to church. I'm like, oh, yeah. And he's like, you take this pamphlet, man. Oh. Hey. So glad you came out with the pamphlet. It's better than that night. I thought he was like, oh, 'cause he was mad at us. He was like, all right. I don't know. I'm going to church full. And then we went and saw our homies. There's about 12 of them surrounding. They were sitting on the floor. Oh, they were sitting on the ground surrounding all our homies doing a photo shoot. Like, dude, if we don't love Jesus, they're gonna fuck us up. You better. Hell, yeah. They're gonna beat the shit out of us. Yeah. Your kids? Yeah. I got one Nino. How old? He's two and a half. Oh, you knew that. Yeah, new, new. He still smells good. Oh. He gets a little sweaty sometimes. So little under his eyes. Yeah. We're running the rain yesterday. That's his lip. First baby, how old are you? I'm 42. Oh, okay. So at 40. Yeah. See, I'm deciding if I want kids to. How old are you? 36. Perfect. What are you waiting for? For bad knees? Do it. Oh, man. Who are you waiting for? Are you gonna wait longer? Are you gonna be Robert Downey, Danira? I said the wrong one. Robert Downey. Robert Downey. Robert Downey. All right. Yeah. I'm crag down syndrome. What's up, bro? Shh. All you do is prove my point. Like, yeah, you can wait 35 more years. Look at these guys. They can't run and play. That's the point. Rolling the mud. I mean, no, I'm not saying, like, I'm saying, dude, by 40. Sprouts them out. You don't even need to know her. You got money? You get it. Oh, your man, how you get it? You ruined your life. Train your money. You know, I've met some fools that have bands with girls they don't like. Yeah, it sounds like a nightmare. It's a nightmare. Yeah. That's fucking terrible. No, we get along. We're not together. That was more of a joke. But yeah, you're married perfect. By 40, bro. By 40. You got four, five years. You don't want none at all? I don't know. All right. You can just enjoy your life, freedom, and money. But then at the same point, like this kid that can ruin your life also can be like the whole point. No, not even cool. I didn't put if he's lame, he'd be like, why do I do this? You know, I got a bad ass. He's already chewing bark and digging in the dirt. I just imagined a child abiding a tree for some reason. I don't know what. A lame is just like, you know what I mean, this, no. No, but, uh, wow, no, we'll see. You ever see the end of Mr., you ever see Mr. Deeds? Yeah. Remember his uncle that dies on the top of the mountain in 90? That sounds cool. Yeah. You can die with your kid next to you. Hey, I know you're 40 years younger than me, but you're going to die with me. Okay. Let's go to this. We're going to die together. No, he makes it out. No, he makes it out because he's 40 years younger than me. It's some shit that everybody said, uh, you know that the common generic advice that everybody says to you before you have a kid, like, oh, it's just different, man, or that too. But like, it is just different. Once it happens, you like, oh, it's like, you're like, oh, that's me. That's just a little guy. And it's just fun. You're going to lay all the time. You're going to be late. I was on time. How's it going to work? Yeah. True. You're more than a mogul. Five minutes early. 25 faster than a mogul. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know, dude. We'll see. Yeah, time, bro. You got time. See. Thank you. That's all I want to hear. I got time. Okay. Real quick. How long have you been doing your podcast for? Fuck like seven years. Oh, shit. Yeah. That's in your garage. In my spare bedroom. It looks ball. Yeah. It's a good job. I did not think that was in a fucking someone's house. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good shit. I had some triple O G's up in that bitch. Half white half Mexican. That's what we did. We had a white guy that speaks Spanish. and it's build our shit. - Perfect. - Yep. - You had to work ethic and-- - A little bit of both. - You need half and half. - Are you half or are you full? What are you? - A little bit of a bunch. - We're all month. - I'm only Mexican, my family knows their Spanish, and my mom's half Mexican half like Polish Jewish lady. - Yeah, man. - So it's a little, my grandma from Mexico is actually German, born in Mexico. It's a big front. So you're like 75% Mexican. - I would say 50. - But if your boss half Mexican puts you over. - Yeah. - I'm half. - I'm 75. - Okay. - I'll speak Spanish, I don't know. - But you don't speak Spanish, that takes you back down to 50. - I don't speak Spanish, but I look like I don't speak Spanish. - You look like you sell me good weed bad acid. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Are you trying to get over me the acid? - Get too much. - Yeah. (laughing) - That's the guy you look like. - See what God just did you, bro. - What the fuck? - That's you. - That's us right now. (laughing) - Yeah, my grandma was from Chihuahua and she didn't speak English, she didn't speak English, bro. We were straight, straight out of Mexico and then we got white wash, real quick. It's crazy. - Which one? - Dad and mom was white. - My dad's a white boy. - Like construction white? - Yeah, Boston white. German English white, Boston blue eyes. - Hates browns, what kind of white? - Yeah, and married one. (laughing) - And married one to keep that in me clothes, dude. - That's in my ass, my dad says, "Build the wall." And I'm like, "What about mom, man?" (laughing) - Is that together? - No, no, no, no. - Oh, the way you said it. - That's glad when I was 10, 11, 12, young, you know. - Hmm, I've only met people that's parents were divorced beginning or never met their dad. I've never met something that got a divorce like growing up. - Yeah, never. - It's good for you. - It's good for you. - It's Christmas. - Lights, yeah. - Where's daddy? (laughing) - Can you move back to Boston? - No, you went down the street. (laughing) - I just never saw him again. - We never saw him again. - Did he have another family? - Yeah. - Yeah, the bar, no, no, you didn't. - He likes, you know. - Do you have more kids? - No, no, no, three. - Oh, also you weren't. - Me and two sisters with my mother, a nucleus family that's split halfway through. All within the same three years 'cause she's Mexican. - My sisters were close. I'm five years. - You're the younger older. - Youngest. - Oh, so you got a little baby boy. - Yeah, I got, yeah, I got a cool child of the OG. - Yeah, he's a cooler shit. - And the old gangster cousins show me like, Ampsey Breed, Two Pogs, App and Rodgers, Wu Tang. I'm a little kid. - So that's how nice 'cause I was the shit. - I'll show you my cousins. You won't even believe, bro. - I'll show you my cousin. - Straight, grout, tall. (laughing) - They're wider brown. - Why is he? - And then he had a brown, yeah, their own white is shit. Yeah, one of my, one side of my phone doesn't, it looks like I'm there to drop shit off at family dinners. But you guys, the help, like, nah, dog, I just my aunt's house. - My white side straight up golf scholarships to college. And then some of my Mexican side, not all, of course, just straight, gangster, LA baby. But that's my cousin, Groucho Fresh Out of prison. My mother took him in and that's me as a little kid behind him. - Oh, I love him. - And they have fun. - And they have fun. - They have fun right there. And you see this, yeah. - Groucho is big as his body. - Oh, she is. (laughing) - He looks like he's straight out of the little homies machine to pick your jeans, bro. - That's what he is. One of our homies is exactly how we describe him. - That's some early '90s gang bangin' shit. - Didn't you try to collect him? There's not all of them are in the set. You can never collect them all, dude. - I like five of the same one in the machine. - I just had a few from pick and safe. - I got him from spoofalist. - Yeah, yeah. - My whole white side of the family I've ever met is from Massachusetts too. - Yeah. - Is how random. You tell me, they're all rich. It's called Sherry Something. - I never went over there enough. - Okay, I don't know. I just know that they don't like, they don't fuck with us. - We visited some shit and it was lovely. A lot of rivers and creeks. I'm like, what? You guys get ponds? - They get ponds over there. - We just have gang fights in our rivers. - We got grouchos. - Yeah, for real. He lives there. He just got out but he's gonna stay with his mom soon. Soon she gets back from Mexico. - Yeah. - Yeah, that sounds pretty accurate. Sounds like East L.A. and I'm from Central Valley. - Yeah. - Oh, not. - You know what this that is? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Okay. - Yeah, I'm from there. A little town you see on the freeway. - Yeah. - That's fine. - I did buy it a bunch. For sure, on your way to make money out big cities. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Just pretty much how it goes, dude. You stop and get gas and go, this place's fucking sucks. - Yeah. - You keep driving. - Okay, sorry. You've been here for seven years. It looks bomb as fuck. You're doing your spare bedroom question. I have a bunch of, I know you tell a lot of stories. So do I. 'Cause I want to, I want to. - I got so many stories. - Was it fun? - It's too many. I'm tired, God. I am learning my lessons. - But also, do you notice that older you get the less wild stories you have and more? - Yeah, I know. I got a rational pissed off too. - I got to relapse again. I got to get, I need, I need, I need some juice. I'm running out. You can only tell your story about being rated so many times I need a new raid. - I'm sorry, doing stupid shit, dude. - Yeah. - That's a good movie concept. Guys, it's just like, I'm going back in, guys. - I'm back. - I'm thinking of that. - Hit me. - DM. - It's time. - Okay. I want to know, best mushroom trip story ever. - Oh, dear. Okay. - You rubbed your head for the memories I like. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You should have opened up your third eye. (all laughing) - There's so many, bro. But I just remember being on mushrooms at Coachella and just being on the save wavelength as the music and I would walk and it was just like, - Some Dracula. - Whatever I was on. Playing the piano, like fucking Dracula's ever saying. - So you look like him. - Yeah. No, 'cause I'm remembering nicks. I would flow with the music on mushrooms. And it was, like I was walking and dancing in sync with life itself in flow state. Giggling and laughing. So much so that it was attracting other people. And they're like, "Hey, I want what you're on." And I was like, "Get away from me, man, I'm vibing, you know?" - Yeah. - And then just, just as like I was riding a wave of life. That's a joyous memory. I also ate a quarter of mushrooms, I ate six grams, almost a quarter. I ate six grams when I was 16 years old. I couldn't have been more in a buck 40, 140 pounds. And it was too much. And the week before we had tried a eighth, we were experimenting, we tried a gram, then a half eighth, then an eighth. And we were traverse teenagers in the mushroom space, you know? And then we get a new batch. And of course, the time we eat more, they're like double strength. They're stronger than the first few batches. And everyone's like, "Hey, these are different." And that's when me and my buddy, Travis ate six grams on an empty stomach, his teenager. - Worst. - Holy shit. - Summer's the best summer's the worst. - I was fucking vegetable, bro. We're at the park next to my house. I was on this bench, this wood bench, and I was just stuck. Just galactic fucking space, you know? - Did you take off? - Yeah, oh, those dragons flying out of trees. I project alvamed it. I just went like this. I sat up, and I just puke like the ex, just that one. (laughter) And then my buddy said, "Oh, no, I'm out of here." And he ran, and I didn't see him for like five hours. And then he was climbing a fence over there. He was bugged out, too. And then this family saw. And it was like this poor family had like one of each kid. Like all sizes, like small, medium. - Stickers. - Large, I did it the wrong way. Yeah, yeah. And I was just holding my tummy. I was like, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He was just going like a movie, bro. He was too much, it was poison. So I just got rid of it, and I was like, "Oh, I feel better." And I just sat on that bench for like three, four hours. And then I finally was like, "Okay, I could move my legs and get up, my ass was numb." And then I rejoined the crew. - Oh, are we still at the park? - Oh yeah, we're, that was like-- - Everyone's in their own section of the crowd, yeah. - That was like maybe 12 of us. We had a big mushroom party of teenagers at the park. We were safe with 12 people. - We had a bunch of mushrooms. No, we all split up like within the first half hour. Like everyone ate different amounts. Me and this other kid, we went there. Most everybody ate eight or a half a. And some people stayed together, so you know, it's-- - Yeah, it's a trip. - Yeah. Yeah. One of my buddies, I think, ended up at like a tweaker pad in Linwood and they were taking apart clocks and shit. And he just-- - I see you get lost. - Yeah, that's, he get it. Yeah, I never go to a stranger's house, especially on drugs. - He just kept going. - Yeah, he just kept going on adventures and gotten the wrong car, you know. It's how like-- - It's not in the car! (laughing) - We have a small town, dude, like, oh, I know that person and that person, I should hide. We'll never get in someone's car, that's fucking insane. - When you're messing with other psychedelics too, have you? - Oh, yeah, we did ask it. - Oh my gosh. - Ask it's, they're gonna get mad at me, but it's too strong, too long, too, you know. These fuckers make you go trip 18 hours and shit, strong shit, at least for me. - I don't know what that is. I only did it like a handful of times. I kept it minimum. I like the mushrooms more, just something about, I never knew who was making my acid. You always hear bad acids and ruining the human. So I was like, I don't want that to happen. And I've seen it happen where they're a little, you know. - You do. - Yeah. - Still. - Yeah. - It was 20 years ago. - Yeah, so you're like, I was scared of it. But if you like got a rich scientist and Malibu making it, I'll try. - Thank you, I'll try. - I'll try. - Malibu? - A clockwork orange trip. - Yeah, I'm down for that. - Yeah, Malibu, acid, yeah. Downtown LA acid, no. - No. - Gotta end up a vegetable. - No. - I walk around with no pants. - Yeah, I ended up on a skin road. - Yeah, every time I see some skin rope, I go, I would like to trace you back to the moment it happened. 'Cause when I first moved here, I lived downtown. And there was this young, young ass dude. Kinda strong out, but not too bad. And then over the course of the year, I just saw him turn into a fucking shell zombie. And the last time I saw him, he had no almost no clothes on. They were like tattered. And he was mad, no one gave him money. And I didn't recognize him. And then I realized having his face was like eating. You know that? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - The drug they do that crocodile shit. - Yeah, that's it. It's a devil in his booty hole, rollin' right there. - Anyway, I saw this guy in the course of a year in my apartment, just decay. I'll just stick with the mushroom. - Yeah, you stick with the mushroom. - That's why I tell people, don't go to downtown LA. - I had a park on the ski to see his two face. - It was bad. - You had a park on skit, bro? Near it? - Oh no, I had a park on at the other day and walked four fucking blocks, like an idiot. - What? - We talked about it recently. - This is a lot. I was in a lot. I parked in a lot. I had to go to a spot and it was a concert every single fuck. Everything was taken. And the only spaces that were open, there was crackhead sitting right next to it. - Yeah. - Ah, I'm good. - Yeah. - I'd be Ubering. I Uber to Sophie Stadium. I don't wanna deal with parking. I Ubering drove. - Exactly that I'll Uber. - Yeah. I do both. 50, 50, it's hard. 'Cause you don't wanna get stuck in that shit but you want your car. And again. - That's what we didn't, Uber's. - Yeah, you can't, you can tip on. You get the Uber. You know the trick. You go to Sophie Stadium and everyone's waiting the half hour for that clogged Uber. You just walk to the end and say cash. What's up? 100 bucks, they take you off the books. We're dudes. We're dudes. - I'm good. - It can happen. I mean, but I'm pretty big. If you can get out of your straw. - Yeah. - You're so strong and determined. - You really, really wanted my whatever I have. - You loved my shirt. - Like you're dedication, I respect it so much. You got me. - No, for real. Someone's picking me up. - I mean, all you gotta do is fuck. Did you pick my whole body up? - Yeah. - Shit. But like I can see like you're picking up Rocco. Like yeah, yeah, he's like a hundred. - They get me real quick. - By the back of your neck. - Hey. - Ah. - Is Holly? - Yeah, there's a lot of books, man. I'm 5/10. - What's up, everybody? 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Now you can. But still using the power of the Puffco. No butane necessary. And lastly, before I get out of here, Puffco is coming up fast. Go to their website. Check it out. Get tickets. It's going to be here in LA. Two day event. I'm stoked. Last year we did the Guinness World Records biggest group dab ever. Puffco is always doing something sick. So check it out. Make sure if you want to come to the event, get your tickets now because they will sell out. Shout out to the sponsor this episode. Puffco, thank you so much. Back to the episode. We're about like DMT and trail like that. You're down for that. I haven't done it. The shaman actually told me not to. Really? He says, I don't. I don't. I don't. He's fucked. Wow. Wow. I'm very interested. Yeah. Do it. Bro, I'm going to tell you, do I at waska, like 10 times, sprout out of kid. You're good to go bro. What happened to you? I met some lady for four minutes. You want to move in? We should start a family. Actually, I don't like you. It's been three weeks, but you're pregnant. Fuck. Yeah, just tell me. It's going to happen to me. Just tell me. Raise this kid real quick. It's good, but for a while, I talked about it. I do what I do. I do big doses. I like it. It's fun. But I've never done acid scares me. I've never done DMT. It scares me. DMT's 15 minutes. I waska's like four to eight hours. That's how it with that though. Avergynat, like probably five or six. I'm with that. I don't know why. Do it. I feel like it's okay. With the earth. Where did you first experience go? Here's what the shaman told me, and it made sense. I'll tell you my first experience, too, and all that shit. But he said, DMT is the new kid on the block. I waska is anywhere from five to 9,000 years old. It's OG shit. There's intelligence cooked in it. It's done for a man team. You know what I'm trying to say. And he said, this is new, and it's man-made, and it's few chemicals away from dope. From dope. And he just said, it's not done. There's always side effects, the new item, the new iPhones, got bugs in it. The new pharmaceuticals, got some kinks to work out. It's like the new drug, the new kid on the block. And when he said it that way, it made sense. It made sense. I was like, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure there's profound benefits with DMT, too. And once again, I treat that kind of like acid. Who's making it? Where's this coming from? If there's some Joe Rogan DMT, I'll try that rich people shit. Is this the snickle fits that my homie made in the hood? No, I ain't smoking that DMT. I want elves, not goblins, you know what I'm saying? That's a fucking sound, by the way. I want elves, not goblins. But ayahuasca is DMT in an organic syrup form. Drink it? Yeah, you drink it. And it feels weird because it's in my acts, but it's all the little true bullet points. But we secrete DMT, you know that, right? And we're born, dream and die. And so you go there, you go, you go to the different dimensions, you die and come back. Where were you at when you did it the first time? I was in a garage. I was there. You better not have been in an apartment or something. I was in a garage. The ADU of the house. I was the first time I was in the living room. The second time I was in a garage. Oh man. Then I put you in a forest. Bro, I did it. I wish. He's here to shop and I go, is this name Kyle? No, Connor. Connor. No. That's in my joke, dude. I say, like, dude, if your shaman looks like me, don't do it. Like you want to fool. You want a real motherfucker. You don't want a fucking shaman, Connor, you know, Conrad. Anyway, no, we had the legit circle as full name was Summit. We had some fools practicing medicine for 20 years plus. There's also, I want to go to the jungle and do it. I just, I'm on the road a lot. I don't have the most time. So my shit's just like an hour outside of L.A. at a little ranch, you know. Oh. And it is in the garage, but they completely pimped it out and made it a beautiful space. It's like a remodeled clean garage that would be comparable to like a yoga studio or like a ballet dance. You know, like nice cleaners. Can you say garage, man? Woodflirt. No. Tools. You have done it where you're not supposed to do it in a car while driving. Hello. Hello. Hello. Still drive better than half of these motherfuckers. That's right. That's right. But the first time you did it, jeez drink it. What? Oh, you drink it. Because the moment where you blast off and you let go, like when I know I'm like, oh, I'm about to fucking see something. I'll let go, like those big mushroom trips. What's the point? Like what's that? I wasco feeling. Well, I'm explaining my first experience and it's not, it's different for everybody and it depends on you and your level of cleanliness that your body is in and your level of being able to wipe your mind clean and be in a meditative blank state to hop in the meditation cosmic wave that is ayahuasca of consciousness. And because I say that because the first night was more like, I don't know if you're familiar but the birds chirp to the plants and the flowers to open it up. Like the first night in the medicine is tripping at you to open you up to unlock you and if you have walls up and if you're close and if you're eating dirty because they tell you to prepare for this. You're supposed to eat soups, light meats, little to no meats, fruits and veggies, broth, lentil soup, clean vessel, clean water, no sodas and none of that shit. No head meds, you can't be on mental pills, whatever, antidepressants, it doesn't work with the medicines. You can't be on that shit. No shit. You have to have a clean shit and then so they do the songs in the traditional church, the church I was going to, the Santo Diamy church. They play hymns and songs and it's non-denominational. You can bring whoever just as long as they're positive light motherfuckers, you know, Archangel Michael Jesus, that's why I roll with, but you could bring in Buddha, baby, you could bring in Buddha for some reason I was like, but you ain't bringing in that no Lucifer, get the fuck out of here. - Oh God, I hear it, doc. Anyways, they sing these hymns that are from the jungle. Usually in Portuguese, it's where this church originated at Brazil and the jungle. And then it opens you up. And if you're lucky, you trip balls and you go to heaven or whatever you want to call it, you know? - Yeah. - Okay. - Space, all of it. - So good to go. - Whatever you want. - What are you doing? - You want to go to heaven or hell? You want to go to fucking Jupiter. You want to go to, you know who's actually done it more than me? Is fucking Neil Brennan, and he talked about it publicly. I ain't ratting him out. And I find that so funny and fascinating. Like, 'cause it's some shit, bro. Like, the reason I thought I brought him up is he went to like the big bang in the galaxy. - What you could choose? - Oh, you could choose your own adventure, bro. You could choose the stars or your childhood. You could choose heaven or hell, it's insane. You pretty much have the keys of the universe and you go wherever you want to go if you hop in the wave. But if you're strong-minded, strong-willed and eat pork and drink Pepsi, it's, the medicine's gonna clean you up. - First. - First. - Before it starts taking you there. That's why it's important to, you catch me. - Yeah. - So why'd I do much? I go to the pitch black, no music. - Perfect. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? - Fucking blast. - I've gone to so many different places that you've seen, but it wasn't under my own accord. Like, I was blasting off to places and they were taking me places and it's down with them. But I wasn't like, hey, let's go to this time in eighth grade. - That's actually why I'm kind of scared of mushrooms now. Because they take you where they're gonna go, where this is almost like you can steer the ship. - This sounds so much more fun. There's fucking mushrooms, man. - But if you, the real ones usually go there to face it, whatever it is, for instance, like Iraq War veterans, or veterans of war, or anybody of extreme trauma will go there to face it and puke it out. - There's a movie about war veterans doing ayahuasca. I met the guy yesterday actually. - Yeah. - Like hair down the fucking areas of Iraq War vet. I guess he was telling me about the movies in. That's literally I met the guy yesterday. I was talking about ayahuasca last night. - It's a trip, bro. It's good. It's good. - It sounds cool. If you can control things, I just wanna blast off where I wanna go. - Yeah. - Like when I used to lose training, that's just full of dude. - You can, I said this on my pod, but like never here. So you can go to figure out what to do next in life. And like, what do I want to paint? What show do I want to do? What script do I want to write? Or you could go to it to heal from childhood traumas. Like it's up to you. You can choose. Most people are there to heal though. I would say 75% of the circle is there to heal. - And then like the second 5% of like. - Some people are healed. Some people don't have major traumas. Some people might have major traumas. They don't even remember. And they thought they were fine. They were like, "Hey, what the fuck is this?" You know what I mean? - No! - I watched them bullsh*t. - Yeah. It's a trip. It's a, but it's not, it's whatever you want it to be. You co-create with it. Sometimes people just tell me, they just blast off and go into space. - Yeah, I wrote it. - And I'm like, I've never experienced that quite like, it's usually like, oh shit, I'm hopping in, but I have been there. I have like died and reduced into the soil and came back as blades of grass. Or like just vomited snakes and shit. It's like biblical shit. You're just puking and it's like fucking bugs. And then you open your eyes. You're like, "Oh, it's just puke." But like when you're in it, you're just like venom. - Like fully healthy. - Like drawn venom. Like, you lose control of your body sometimes 'cause you're in it. - I'm just shit in my pants, tripping. - Yeah. - You hop in. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I don't know if I want to shit in my pants. - No, you don't shit in your pants. You go in the bathroom. You make it. - Like the trip, you know, sometimes on mushrooms, I'm fully gone. Where you like, you guys aren't here. I'm fucking gone. Or is it, I'm high as shit hallucinating and I can still see. Or is it come flashes of each? - I'm always somewhat in the middle. - Tethered in reality. That's another safe thing about ayahuasca is. - You're not like your brain's not going up, and see my body, and I'm gone. And I'm out of another movie. I come back, but I don't know what it is. - Oh, yeah, that happens. - That's what I want. - That can happen, yeah. - That's what I'm looking for. - Yeah, you could turn into a fucking animal, bro. You could like, oh, yeah. It's crazy. I've turned into like a, I've told you I died and turned into soil, you know. - He was driven by the 19 times. - No, I'm serious about it. I've done this 19 times. - Yeah, but I've only like connected, connected, like maybe like 12, you're not guaranteed to connect. - That's fun. - That's just the hang on, that was more, wait. Oh, the shaman, he gives you the rundown on all this shit. Now that ayahuasca's somewhat legal and you can study it legally and put brain scan waves, you know, they study the brain when people are on it. And it's the same brain wavelength as when you're dreaming, like it's when you're sleeping. So it's not dangerous, it's not. And he said, if you're really tripping and going to hell, so to speak and you could just go to the bathroom and flick on the light and you'll be like awake and sober and not tripping. - Why? - Yeah, that's what I mean. It's like, it's not like mushrooms in the sense, you're on the fucking ride. But if you want to not feel it, you just turn on the light. - What if you turn them back off when you go back in? - Well, yeah, that's what I mean. It's like, it's kind of like co-create. I have gone like deep where they had to like bring me back. I was like, aww, 'cause I drank too much and went too deep. And then I needed like assistance. I've only needed assistance once. - Where were you at in your state that you needed help? - Oh, yeah. You know, just hell, you the root of it all, yeah. - I've never experienced nothing like that. - You can end out. - Super, super bad like that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I took mushrooms on here with Josh Wolf. The last time Josh Wolf and we took a bunch of mushrooms every time he comes, but the last time I took too many, I had my first bad bad trip, but like right when we left, I got home and there's these things telling me to like fucking sell my soul and do weird shit. - Yeah. - Showing me all the people, I'm not gonna say the names, people that I already did, like they did it, they did it. Look at 'em now, you just, it's not a big, and I was in my room. - Never, never, so you're so old, bro. - Like you're talking shit to 'em, like you think I'm gonna do that. - Yeah. - We had a whole conversation about it, but I saw faces of prominent motherfuckers. - We need some Paolo Santos and some Rosewater brother. - Whatever OG gives me for me so like blesses all those things. I keep mulling my house. - Yeah. - I don't have my backpack at all times. - Yeah, you got it. - I don't know, OG's on that shit. - Do you know about all that Santa Rhea shed, demons, and people get nervous? - Oh, I know that I don't want to know about it. I wrote with Jesus home, you know, you're not, you don't fuck out of here, bro. - I really don't know what was your picture of you. - You have eight. - He's just like a little devious little boy. - Fuck your Satan. - Well, speaking of pictures of you, I was looking at your Instagram, and then it like suggested this old Facebook post from six years ago that said it was from six years ago and said six years ago, I became sober or whatever, and you posted a bunch of photos. - Was it my mug shot? - The mug shot was one of them. - Oh yeah, I forgot. Yeah, yeah. - But then there was a photo I pulled up here and we're hoping you can tell us what's going on here. - I was just taking a shot. - Out of a cup. - Oh no, we're playing beer pong or flip cup or something. - It looks like flip cup. - And that's my garage, my old party house. - That's a garage? - Yeah. - Damn, you got cabinets in your garage? - Holy shit. - That was after the remodel. Yeah, that was after the remodel. - That was a kitchen cabinet. - Groucho hooked it up, oh. Yeah, we had some wild times. I think that was when I made really strong edible cookies and I put them out and I didn't tell anybody and people were throwing up and leaving sick. But the stoners had a good time. - Dick it. - I also had a. (laughing) I also had a glass jar of good weed and I remember running in the garage like this and I fumbled it and it flew out of my hands and I chased it and it psh. Everyone just laughed. It was like a. - Loved? - Yeah, it was like a movie. It still was good. I picked it all up. - We smoked glass? - No worries, baby, no worries. You think I'm not smoking glass? Look at that. - I got smoked glass before, but not like glass. - Yeah, yeah, I smoked both. (laughing) I smoked that good biker glass and I smoked glass glass. - The first time I ever, the only time I ever smoked man was an accident 'cause he was full of retarded where I'm from. - Yeah. - And they put it on weed because you're stupid. - We used to put cocaine, cocoa puffs. - Oh yeah, cocoa puffs. - Pringles. - Pringles. - The chewy buns. - Yeah, yeah. - 'Cause he did nothing, do me. I hated it. I used to put it in the back of my cigarette. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That worked. - That worked. - It's to pack my shit like a fucking baseball player. I put it on my tooth hole right here. - Say I got it. - I just put it like a little. - It just sit there. - A little point one. - A little tobacco meth pack right there. - Oh man, yes. - Okay. - Tooth. - I didn't gum, man. - We're just joking, guys. Don't you, man. You lose your teeth and your children. Stop it. Yeah, look at my dad. - Yeah. - Dad's a tweaker? - No, he's not. (laughing) - I can tell by that sadness, like, oh yeah, yeah. - This guy. - Now he was here this weekend with my son. - That was great, we kind of bad. - He was good now. - So at a foundation, smoked crank my whole life, but I didn't know, I just thought he worked a lot. - Yeah, he just went in. - It's an Mexican asshole, so he was always working. But no, with Coke and crank and meth, I smoked it on a bowl weed one time when I was drunk as shit. I was 14, and I just remember the fucking feeling of it is so dirty. - Yeah, dirty nasty. - It's nasty. - Horny. - I didn't get that. There were a bunch of dudes. - What? - Why is my dick so hard? - I, I project out through 'em. - Yeah. - 'Cause I was drunk, and I started feeling it, she inside, and I just started, (laughing) but when I didn't want nobody to know, so I would peek my head out the backside and do it. - Quiet, you know that quiet, (grunting) and then I just did it by five times. - Everybody knew though, everybody knew. I didn't want anybody to do this. - Let's go outside, bro. - No, I was outside, but everybody's like, I'm in the back, sliding doors, my friends. - I know, room, and I'm trying to let everybody know I'm in this mom's room throwing up in the back. First of all, meth, it was disgusting. - Yeah. - But it wasn't Willie, was yours Willie? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Who are you with, and what, 17? - I tweaked her full, and it's actually, it wasn't really Willie, and I was, I just some a down-ass fool, you know? (laughing) - No. - Shit the fuck. - I was with this tweaker full. I was training on my Trader Joe's grocery. I worked there for 11 years. - You're at work? - Yeah. (laughing) - I'm training this, I'm training this fucking tweaker full from e-slows, bro. Pick his thin tweaker, and then we go to lunch break. I'm training him. I'm known him two days. Two days I known this guy. I'm training him to stock the shit and run register. He's bugged out. He says, "We're at lunch break together. We eat lunch. We go to the truck. Want to smoke bowls, right?" Want to smoke bowls. I pull out weed. OG Kush, civilized man. - Civilized man. - He pulls out a pookie pipe of meth. And I'm like, "Oh, hell no, bro." And then he's like, "You want to hit this?" And I was like, "Fuck yeah." And I just went, (laughing) 'Cause I was at work. I'm sad. You know, I was like, "Feel, feel good." And I was like, "Feel good, feel good." Ooh, hi. Don't you want back into work? - Oh yeah. - He's fucking stocking milk. So it warm in a refrigerator. - You hit it. - You hit it. - He's fucking. (laughing) - And then I liked it. And then I did it a few times. But then I got rated, and there was a couple more incidents. And then I got sober. - Not for meth. - No. But I got, I smoked meth and got rated three days later, just by accident, 'cause that was the wrong house. Like it's crazy. I don't want to tell that story again. Anyways, I live in the back house. I got rated in the whole joke that I told him stage. So I was like, "Man, you smoke meth one time. They're quick." Like how they know. - Two days later. - Well, this is Los Angeles. You know, they have real crime and criminals. They're not rating you for meth once. Anyways, it was just a lot of God showing me like, "Hey, not gonna knock, you know." - You liked it, huh? - Yeah, you liked it, yeah. - And then I quickly got sober and got into stand up. And here we are, baby. - So whoever you are at Trader Joe's, you started the wheels. You threw the first rock, dude. Good for you. - No, I started the wheels. He put, he stopped them with that rock. I've been rolling down that. I wanted to get sober for like 10 years. Keep in mind, I still smoke weed. I'm not technically 100% sober. I just don't drink alcohol or do narcotics. I fuck with plants. Plant metacena is my rules. So it's of this earth, I'm down. - Okay, but real quick, someone offers you a meth. You go fuck it, rip it. You're what, of age, you're in trouble. - Oh, yeah, at least I'm 20, 6, 25. - But you say I wanna get sober already. What were you doing before that you're like, "Yeah, let me hit that bowl of meth." - Oh, I always like drugs. I was always a pillhead. I love Vikings, I was like, "Oh, okay, there we go." - Perpesets, and I like cocaine and alcohol. I like girls weed, mushrooms, acid, ecstasy, Molly. - Yeah. - You know. - Everything says, "That's bad, but I can't do it." - What's on the table? - Yeah. - Fun shit. - Yeah, no PCPs, no. - I spoke PCP one time. That's enough for me. Makes you feel good. (laughs) - My head was too big. - I'm on the moon. - Yeah, I couldn't. - Yeah. - Land my steps. - Like they were never gonna touch the ground, and I fell on my head was too big. - That's how they filmed the lunar landing. They weren't even on the moon. They were just on PCP. - The two freaks are helping you smoke. - Four. - No, I know you never did PC, but it does feel like you're never grown up to fucking four. - So my family did the PCP, they would pee their pants. - PCP. - PCP, they're pants. - Yeah. - I swear to God, that was the Mexican side. (laughs) - Oh, I was like cranked. - Yeah. - I guess it's different from from meth. - It's dirtier. - Yeah, dirtier. - They're like the cheaper shit. - My dad does drink 211s. - Oh, no. - There you go. - That's the face I want, dude. - 211. - 211. - I was like fucking, - What? - He smoked crank. - What is it, what is it? - It makes sense, 211s. - What is it, as an appetizer, does he have King Cobra? - His dad's favorite beer on Earth is King Cobra. - No way. - And my dad's favorite fucking beer. - Oh. - The only two beers I bought as a teenager went, even though I need it, I can't drink it. I mean, I had a party and I can't drink too much. - That's not good, man. - It's bump-piss. - We call it bump-piss. - I thought my dad drank cheap beer. He like knack, like-- - My dad took. - Taka. - Keystone. - Keystone light. - Keystone light. - 2 for 18, 2 for 18. - M-G-D Miller, high life. - Yeah, I like Cobra. - I like Mad Dog's. - Mad Dog Club, M-G-D. I was M-G-D. I was a Miller light M-G-D. - Yeah, I like Mad Dog's, dude. - Yeah. - Mad Dog 2020? - Fuck, I used to see that. - I like the flat bottle, I can fit in my bottle for pockets. - It's different than 99 bananas. - Oh, I never had that. - Gold slogger before-- - Before super bad? - Yeah. - Never thought it was cool. I just thought it was like, is it real gold? I don't want that shit. Give me some Taka fuck. I handle for it. - Well, now it's fireball, right? Fireball is the cheaper version of gold slogger. I was always a vodka whiskey guy. Well, tequila, and then I overdosed. - And then I couldn't do it no more. - I had me a ton of vodka on my 21st birthday. - My first time drinking legally in a bar. - Yeah. - It was Greco's. I thought it was cool. I'm like, "Damn, it's just $8. That's expensive." - Can you do it now? - I can. I just don't really drink. - Yeah, good. It's poison. - Yeah. - I just do Ayahuasca, be a man. - Yeah, there we go. - Yeah. - I got a bunch of psychedelic stuff on me. - Cheese corn. - Cheese corn. - And we talk about if I can make it to old man, 88, I'm going to go to opium dens. - Yes. - That's my rule when the hips give out opium. - Hey man, look at this, this is us, man. This is going on right now. - We'll smoke a little black tar heroin. No fentany. - I'm not trippin. I'm fucking down. - Opium? - I like being so fucked up. I'm like, "I can't move." I like that feeling of like, "Oh, I used to do a lot of masculine." You're like, "Nescaline?" - I haven't really partake. Maybe, oh, I done a little bit. - Be a little press. - Like the Molly Cousin. - I never did Sassafras. You're into the alternate. I got tricked into doing that damn Salvia and I hated my friend afterwards. - Oh man. - Look, take a big bitch. - I just smoked so much of it. - You like it? - No, I hate it. - We didn't have mushrooms. That's always my mushrooms. I hate Salvia. - This is like 15 to 19. - Okay. - We used to buy Salvia. 'Cause like older guys like, "I have for us. Do get the hundred eggs. Don't be a bitch. I'll give you some money on top." Because we couldn't have, we didn't have mushrooms. We would only come around every so often. And I tried Salvia with my uncle John once. And I was in his backyard, I was 14. I went, "What the fuck is happening?" I don't know what it was. And then I tried the new one with a gas mask and we duct taped it to a ball. And then we would rip it like that. And that's when I blasted off into Cartoon, the Travelocity commercial. I was, this lady told me I was rich. And for like 15 minutes, I thought I had a new life. I was playing like, "Mama, I'm gonna get her house." I was like, "I was like seven days." - That's too much. - I paid back and I was so, and I thought I'd piss myself. - I did it. - No, I didn't, surprisingly. - That's your worst fears pissing yourself. You always feel wet and you always see spots. You always check, but you're always dry. - Always. - Every time. - What's I could tell? I don't know what it is, dude. - My buddy is high school shit. This nice kid, Joe, I should name him, but it's all right. He did, he peed at my buddy's house, but he was like tweaker full, you know. He's in prison right now. He ended out a prison type of fella. And he fucking clocked him and knocked him out while he's pissing. And then he just woke up in a little piss puddle corner with his pector out. Your worst nightmare when you're tripping, you mad in that, I pissed on a wall, I got knocked out. - It was indoors, it was in his room. He peed in his bedroom. - Oh. - See, he went, he went, "Bam, knocked him out." - You guys gonna stop the piss? You just tell him to stop. - Yeah, punch him outside. - And we're all right. - I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go watch Fantasia in my house. You guys are tripping me out, man. - This watch is so much. - What about, I love it. - Did you ever watch Wizard of Oz on the third roar with Dark Side of the Moon? - I've never done that. I've watched the people on YouTube do it when E-bombs world, or before YouTube, when E-bombs world was out. And they had that, watch it. same time because there's no internet. I have to have a record or CD and play that picture the same time. Yeah. We'd have that kind of stuff all the time. You don't have a CD player. Not in my homies. We're all my friends house. I'm all doing drugs in the one guy's house that the, you know, the parents are shittiest. Yeah. That's where you do drugs. Yeah. They didn't have all that shit. Yeah. Yeah. It's like you have dark side. My parents are drug addict. All right. Yeah. You don't got dark side. I have it at my house. They do it. It's all scratch from all the messy. Yep. On top of it. Yeah. Do I still have CDs? They're so scratch. Yeah. But in those scratches, there's a residue that will never come out. No. It's just, there's drugs will never come out. You lick them from time to time. No. No. You said there's Pokemon ball. I don't do coke anymore. I used to keep cocaine in it because my friends would get drunk and I go, yeah. And it bustled. That's so fun. That's so fun. It's only worked twice. We're actually popped out. But the two times was worth it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The pandemic, dude. Like, if the world ends here, you guys do cocaine. I don't sell it. But I had some people to say. I fucking hate coke. You're gonna. I hate coke. I hate coke. I hate soda and fun stuff and pizza. It's not good for me. I shouldn't do it. That's why I hate it. If I can just give up weed forever and every cool vice I have, be like, Coke is healthy. It doesn't kill you. Like, yeah, give me some. Yeah. I'll fucking. I'll be in the opium din. No, opium din. I'd rather be it for you. Put opium in my tooth hole. Oh, back to that. Your hips go out. I say at 88. I don't know what? I'm going to opium din. And if I die in there, that's not, I'm not bummed. What do you say 81? I say 88 because the 80s, like, I was just 70s. 85. Like, I've just turned 80. 88. Like bitch, I'm about to be 90. Give me the drugs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like 88. It's like, yeah, that's that's old. You're old. Yeah. You know what I mean? But 78. My full. I was just turned 75. I don't know. Yeah. A time. Give me time. But opium din. I'll, I'll agent later put in water in my mouth as I'm asleep for four days. Like, I'm fucking down. No. Yeah. Yeah. See? The first guest to say. Not only yes. He's like, no, I'm playing that too. Yeah. It's go early. I've always said that. We are a cut of the same cloth. Yes. I don't know. I just think it could be a real fun way to go out. If I didn't die, come back guys. You guys are not going to believe it. Oh, everybody's dead. Okay. Never mind. Who am I talking to? Like, I'm fucking 88. Everybody's gone. I did ayahuasca with this old guy, like, late in his 70s, having trouble getting up, just drinking ayahuasca, playing music. No, no, it was awesome. I was like, this guy, I was, he's getting old. I was tripping out, like, laughing. Like, this fucker, we did it in South Central too. And you heard noises. You heard people's houses. Yeah. No, this was a warehouse. But I meant, like, the streets. It's not, you want to be on a ranch and, you know, out in the boonies. You want to hear, you want to hear, you want to hear she want to hear a cow, not automatic gunfire. Exactly. You know, you're trying to talk to God. And you're like, oh, you're fucking scary things outside. But then I just laughed. I was like, if any place needs some good old Christ consciousness or consciousness, it's the hood. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. What was the experience? Oh, man, like, he's a badass. He's playing this fucking ancient. Oh, he was the guy doing it. Oh, yeah. He was, I thought you meant he was smoking old school. He's a pioneer in the game. He, uh, Dr. John, I think Dr. Something, um, he's a doctor in his first name. Yeah. That guy's not a real doctor. Yeah. Dr. Thomas man. Yeah. Dr. John, man. He, uh, helped with the legalities of it and making it somewhat legal through churches and fighting the court system. So through certain churches, it's legal. Uh, but, you know, the government can ultimately do whatever they want to do and break the law and be legal criminals too. But technically, if you're in the right church vessels of ayahuasca, like the Santo diami church that I was going to, uh, there's a few others. It's in their religion. So you can't make it illegal. So as long as you're doing it in that space, your, your, your loophole. Hell yeah. Also, what's the difference? What's the difference of peyote? Uh, peyote is cactus. Yeah. What does that do? We'll see if masculine is cactus peyote. Yeah. Awesome. I want to do some more peyote. I want to do peyote than masculine. It's fucking awesome. Um, you guys ever dabbled. I'd have a little bit like a microdose. Yeah. It's the first time me and my wife hung out with just ourselves. We used to, we were just friends and the night she's like, hey, I'm gonna come over hang out. I was like, nobody's here. She's like, yeah, just me, me, me, you know, because oh, shit. I really liked her. I didn't know she liked me, right? It's the first time we hung out. And I was selling fucking masculine and, and, uh, sassafras at the time. I had like 400 little patablets in my home. I was like, don't take more than 10. Like in the night you go, all right. We had to take like fucking 15 each. We were all fucked up. We stayed up all night. Colors have never looked the same since like it's never been right. The colors during that were the brightest I've ever seen in my life. I watched the first season of The Simpsons because she was Churched out. She's not allowed to watch it. You never seen the fucking. Yeah. We watched the first season. We watched, uh, uh, John Goodman, Flintstones. The colors. Yeah. But I was sick. New a little Rick Marannis. Check out my gravel. It was sick. And then we've been together ever since. But sassafras. Like the melt. It's, it's, it's if I could feel like that all the time. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. This is fun. Being sober is fun. I mean, I'm not sober, but yeah, this is fun. But it's just, I know you need. Have you ever been 100% sober? Do you know what it's like? Can you do it? Of course. Yeah. I do. I mean, sometimes I won't smoke weed all day. It's just going to do and shit. Yeah. Busy. But I've gone 50 days without smoking weed since I started smoking weed. Yeah. It's like, I'm not gonna do nothing. Yeah. I smoke weed for 50 days. You need little resets. I get out of hand with these damn addables and shit. I got to stop and pump the brakes. I keep waking up a weed day. I don't really get too high. Like I can smoke a lot, dab a lot, eat hell of addables and not get that fucked up. Yeah. So for me, it's like, it's kind of just like drink of water at this point. It's functioning. They call it functioning. We are. Some people take two hits of this and they're laying on the floor. Yeah. We're just smoking a fat joint, talking, ayahuasca. What's your normal routine with it between dabs, joints? Oh, you just, yeah, you just started your dabs with the day work. I smoke a lot. I try not to, but I'd be smoking, you know, because my rule is, I love weed and I think it's a beautiful medicine and my rules and my head is it's like, you're not supposed to do medicine all day every day, you know. I get it. I get it, but also this medicine keeps me from going nuts, keeps me from other horrible, stronger medicines, like I haven't drank in over 12 years, and like this helps. I cannot do it. I'll take breaks, but it's like a struggle, like I have to, like, make a conscious effort and be like, all right, and I'll be sweating a few days, you know, but I like to reset. And I like the low tolerance. I love it because I'll quit weed and then I'll come back and make me giggle, make food better, make everything better. Yeah. And then I'm just chasing that forever. And it's never the same. Like you have to quit to get the reset, to get the giggles again. Or you have to stop stupid amounts. I don't have to stop smoking for like a month or two, I think, to get my shit reset. Like a reset. Yeah. I smoke. You stop for one to three months. You come back. It's like, it's like early sexual experiences. It's like, what is this? This is great. I did a week off for a video. When I got back, I got pretty damn like high school high. It kind of feels like the weight right here. The next day I was right back. Yeah. I know. It lasts for one to three days. One day. She doesn't do shit. I smoke so much. She doesn't do nothing. That's the problem to that. The hash makes your tolerance. So I got in the hash back in the day with the little, when it was like straight butane, you got heavy lungs from that shit. Yeah. We're doing hot knives and all that shit and like the little ceramic tiles and globes and everything look like a crack ray. Yeah. They just heat up the tile with the blowtorch, put it on Dr. Manhattan. Now we got the puffcoes and the Dr. Dabs and all this shit and it's wild and I just got one. They sent me one puffco. Yeah. It's I've had it three days. Oh, so that's what you mean. Brand just started. I restarted. I'd like I've I'd never liked it because it makes my tolerance too high and then I'll get good weed and then I don't get high and it bugs me. But I like to I like it occasionally. Which which which device did they send you? You know, all of them. Oh, okay. They sent me the little one, the medium one and the bubbler. The core is super sick. Yeah. That's what I've been pocket. Like this is the most convenient thing all the time. It is absolutely convenient. Yeah. Like for tolerance is like what I met Marty. I gave him mushrooms. They didn't do nothing to him, man. Some people are different. It took him like four grams to feel something. Yeah. Some people are built different. Kind of shocking. But then again, like Marty took you like seven to eight hundred milligrams of field of weed too. Like the mushrooms, the edibles. Like I'll feel I'll feel eight hundred milligrams a thousand. But I could take four thousand like for videos. I'll be fucked up. But I'm not like That's crazy. I'm not panic mode Joey D's take like 10,000. - Yeah, that's not fun. I saw it going 5,000 at once. I did it, but it took me what, three hours to eat it in that video. I saw it going to do a 3,000 shake, just chugged it. And I'm like, I've been to the point where I'm blacking out, like I've done like 4,000, 5,000 where I'm blacking out and I've had a bad time. - Yeah. - I don't want that. So I'm like, let's do a thousand feels like. - And he's talking about on videos. - Yeah, I'm only talking about what I'm doing video shit. 'Cause it's like, I don't do this at my house to just normal every day. That's all terrible. It's a challenge. - It's too much. - It's too much. - It's too much. - It's just the sleepiness. - Come on. - The sleepiness. - Well, these are like video, challenge videos. But the sleepiness is the worst part. 'Cause it's filled. - Yeah. - For two days, it just filled tired. And I'm not high. I get tired. - I was tired. - I was tired. - I did the judging the other day. I ate all those animals. It was tired for like a day. - Yeah. - It's different now. I don't know. I get some busy. - I took on godly amounts. Like in my younger days. 'Cause we don't know the measurements. - You take it away. - Make it worse. - Make it worse. But I know it made a lot of people vomit. And I know we hallucinated and passed out in a car. And I've never done that on anything else ever in my life. - What you were doing was throwing probably thousands of milligrams. - Absolutely. - The hash oil, remember the black oil. - Oh my god. - He's put those in brownies. - Oh my god, yeah. - You could taste it. - He's hot. - They're darker in the spots. But I've hallucinated. - Yeah. - I've hallucinated on them. - Have you ever hallucinated on a weed? - It's fucking scary, dude. - It's fucking scary. - It's not supposed to do this. - Bro, we were in a minivan, eight these hash oil addables. We pulled up outside my house. Smoking bongrips in my buddy's van. 'Cause I live with my mom and grandma. And we all woke up in the car. And none of us remembered anything. We're like, I couldn't make it out of the car into my home. And the homey up front was puking out the front seat. And none of us were like, we're like, that's too strong. Like this is crazy. We just slept in a car. - But isn't it cool to wake up and go, that shit was strong. - Yeah. - It's got to be cool. It worked. I don't remember anything. It's only happened to me a few times. It's a smoking weed. We used to hop box my friend in high school. I've woken up in the truck and we both look at each other and like, wow, that's the only time I've fell asleep. But isn't it a fun time when you fall asleep and you don't mean to? - Yeah. - Not anymore, no. I used to like, now I'm like, no, I'm on my bed, my cats. - Oh fuck. - In that order. - Yeah. - Yeah, I don't know. Tolerance, the brakes, I just get bored. But this one I smoke weed so much is, I know. - What else is there to do? - Here we are. It's fun. - It's fun. - It's the ritual of it. - I feel. - Hi. - Hi. - That's what you feel. It feels like chanting. - So how long have you been doing stand up now? - Stand up like 13, 14 years. I started Jesus. I started this journey 17 years ago. I got arrested for the firecracker horse thing. I threw firecrackers out polis on horses. - It's near the shed they fell. - Yeah, well that's what I mean. The raid, the meth, the rage of firecrackers. No, the raid was before. After, I don't remember. But it was a lot of things. - All of that were all amount of time. - Firecrackers. - I was going to you, I always wanted, and I just, my coworker was a comic, Brian Granger. And he said, "Hey, come to the open mics with me." All the shit just kept happening. And the meth, the raid, the fucking horses. And then I said, "That's it. I'm done. I'm gonna go, I'm getting it." And then I went to the second city program in Hollywood. And I did that program for two years. I graduated their school. - Oh shit. - And I went to UCB improv and sketch. - Do you think it helped you a lot? - Absolutely. I did that because I was terrified of standing up to stand up your loan. So then after like three years in the improv sketch world, then I did stand up. That's why I say like 17 years in the game, but like 14 years at stand up. - No shit. - 13, 14, yeah. So you scared of it. I would go over there and go like this. "Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah." 'Cause in improv you're with people, you're safe. You're, you know, ironically now I'm scared of improv. And I love stand up. - Okay. - Switched. - So now I'm like, "What do you mean there's no jokes?" - No, I get what you say, but 14 years ago you made the switch because you were trying to dip your toe in it. And then once you did it, what was the first show? - The first show, I mean, not an open mic. The first time I was like, "Ah, ah, ah, ah." - A real show? - I saw it in 10 minutes tonight. - First real show I ever did was, I mean, it was a real show, but it was one of those student graduation. I took a lot of classes. It was a student graduation class. So everyone who took the stand up class, you did a show at the end of it, you graduated. - Oh shit. - And it was at the comic store in the belly room. I was my first ever real show. - That's where they threw you at. - Yeah, it was good. - It was great. - It was one of the places. - Yeah. - This is the first thing they had to go. - The comedy store. - I love that fucking. - And I've been hanging out ever since. - Really? - Oh yeah. I got passed like three years ago, 2023. - Well, that's probably why I've seen you a few times now. - It took 10 or 11 years to get passed. Yeah. - Can you explain what that means? - Shit. - To be passed. Oh, everybody always asks. I finally came up with a good analogy. It's literally like being made guy in the mafia. You're a made man. You're on. - They don't shoot you with the back of the head, like Joe Pesci. - Sometimes they do. - Me and like, the club's calling you for like, - Yeah. - So that's your spot. - You're part of the gang. - Yeah. - Put your name on the wall. - Well, what comes to mind when you think of held nights and hecklers and shit, what's the worst? - Oh, it's a fucking. - It's so. (laughing) - That's your good default, dude. You know what you look like when you do that? You're the guy that pisses on the Chevy logo. - Yeah. - It's a game, I like it, dude. - Yeah, that's crazy. And then for him on war, the very funny and great for him on war, I love him. He's so incredible. Watch him. But he said this, he said when you get past, it's like the difference is like, I don't box, but I understand the box in world and the boxing gym. And like, it's like going to the gym. You're, 'cause you could perform at the commissar before you are past, right? You can, you can. But it's the difference of going to the gym as opposed to having the keys to the gym. He said that's what being passed is like. You got the keys now. You come whenever you want, unlock the door. It's all you, whatever. Before you're like visiting, you're still there, you're still boxing and shit. - Yeah. - You're a dust. - You're at the gym, but now you got the keys of the gym. I like that analogy that he said to you. - Like 30%. - 'Cause that is the difference. 'Cause I was always performing there. But there's little perks like if you're not passed, you can't sit in the paid regular seats. Little teeny. - Are those in the back bar? - You're in the back bar. You still can just because I was like family. It's called friends and family. That's their development process. You're in development and you're put on the friends and family list. So you're like, you know, you're a capo, whatever. I don't know how the mob really works, but you know, you're the lieutenant. You're not the, he just, you go up. And it's the ultimate honor on earth and everybody wants it. They don't say that, they're lying. It's just a mecca. People have bad experiences there. I understand they hold grudges and shit. But like the Mincey Shore would not pass Jerry Seinfeld. She wouldn't pass Louis CK. - Oh really? - Oh yeah, they were pissed for years. But now they go there 'cause it's a great club. - They're both so funny. - Yeah, they're great. She's ganked, she's crazy. She's like, nah, she told Derry Seinfeld that you're not gonna be, I'm not gonna pass you because somebody needs to tell you no. (laughing) - And it worked, he went and got mad and wrote Seinfeld. It was weird. - Oh, wait a minute before that. - Yeah. - He was, he's a great standup though. When he was young, he was great, man. - I know, but she oddly like knew. Like that's some genius shit. She missed you a few times. She would do some weird shit. And you know, make people wear overalls. I wasn't around, but you hear all these legendary stories that people would wear overalls. People would hide from her sometimes 'cause she might change your name and your look and you're like, I don't wanna wear suits, you know? - Oh no. - Like age be like, you're a Freddy banana head. - Shut up. - You put on a suit, yeah, yeah. - No. - I swear to God, yeah. I don't know the exact details of the stories, but that's what I'm talking about. - You know, that's what I'm talking about. - No, it was why she might be right though. - Her health started to decline in her later years. And I throw no shade. I love and respect the great queen, Mitsy Shore. But you know, that was when weird stuff was happening. And you're like, put on a hat. And you're like, what? - What? - No, you're not like, what? I don't know, I wasn't there, but-- - Change your name. - Yeah, you're like, whoa. - No, that place is, look it. I've got there so many times as she shows 'cause obviously it's just fun. I've heard so many times that that place is haunted. - Oh yeah. - I haven't felt anything ever. - I'll take you where it is. - So no, don't. - Yeah. - I did the belly room. - The ghost? - The ghost. - The finger you. - I'll say that. - I was in the, you did the belly room? - I did the belly room and I was in the green room and I looked through the little hole. Like I can see the main room from here. - Yeah, I feel like a beeping dog. - That's where the mafia, 'cause the comedy store used to be owned by the mob. And it said, we're told where the mafia would set up the tour and put the video down below. with the rifle up there with the whole lens where you lookin' through and phew. - The shuffles during the day isn't shit? - Yeah, during their restaurant hours, that was like a showroom. They'd keep them there gambling, drinking, and whatever. - I mean, fuck 'em, piss if I got sniped while fucking playing poker. - Yeah. I expect to get strangled by the mom that's sniped? - Yeah. - No chance. - That's fucked up. I mean, pissed. - Okay. - As I'm dying for 'em. - Spooky scary. - All right, and then I went, somebody took me through all the spots I was lost when I was there. It's a little creepy in the back hallway where it goes out where people smoke cigarettes, where the kitchen's at. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't like that corner. - Creepy. - Yeah, they opened up the right corner. It's way better. They remodel that you gotta go back. It's so dope. - I just did it last month. Did it since last month? - The new area to the right. Now the little corner. Behind the main room is where I'm scared. Spooky. They need an exorcist back there. - Really? - Fuck that shit. - Well, next time, I need to find out where these spots are so I never go 'cause that shit always fucks with me everywhere I've gone. Ghosts love my ass. They love to let me know. Like, we know you know, fuck! And then I'm sitting there like this. - Get out of your rose water, rubs. - No, I wanna do this down. I do this down. Leave me alone. - Leave me alone. - Leave me alone. That's why I say out loud now. - You gotta say, leave me alone. Jesus Christ. - I do say Jesus. Jesus, leave me alone. I swear, my homie says, like, talk about Jesus, go for real. 'Cause I have my homies moms and medium 'cause my shit was haunted as fuck and he's just scared of the fuck out of me. Three houses I've lived in have been haunted as shit. They know I know, they know I can feel 'em. Like, I know they're there. I've only seen one, but I only, I know their mother fuckers are staring at me. I'm like, ah! I lived in the old house for a long time. - Yeah. - My grandma's old house. And then when I moved to, my friends and moms and mediums, she knew what the fuck was going on right away. My fucking blinds just slammed in my roof one time. And I'm like, all right, it's over. I'm moving, right? When I know some more of my apartment down there. - Sage and Jesus Christ. - I say to everywhere I go. - Sage. - Everything and everything. - Sage. - Anybody's giving me that I don't fuck with anymore. I get rid of it. - Sweetgrass, potosanto. You know, I didn't, I always, of course, I heard of Jesus and I liked the guy, but it wasn't until Ayahuasca to where I was like, I better-- - That's the motherfucking, that's my dog. - That's my man's ass. - Yes. (laughing) - Too long, too long, too long and brewed. - He was healing me. I was like, what the fuck is that? - He did over the rainbow. That's what I knew he was God. - You know that pose in the picture? - Yeah, they do cool poses. - Dude, no, when you're on Ayahuasca, I was meditating and rocking and into the different dimensions. And I was doing the pose. - The pose you gotta do? - No, that's what I'm trying to tell you. Like it wasn't, I wasn't intentionally doing the pose. I was just kind of meditating and it kind of happened and it was all that, all the stuff in paintings and whether I'm influenced by the paintings I've stared at for years. But keep in mind, like I'm not, you know what I mean? Like I'm not, I don't know that world. I kind of was like hopping into a meditative state I've never experienced before, but with like no training. Like you catch me? - Yeah. Like it was an out-of-body experience to where like something's controlling my body and operating it like straight up ratatouille for a lack of better words, but like Ayahuasca or Christ consciousness or the unified field, whatever the fuck you wanna call it, you know what I mean? And you're like just doing some crazy shit and healing yourself on a motherfucking cellular level. And then you just like a goddamn orchestra. It's, they're playing these songs. And when they hit the fucking shit, it's like a bar for Rama. And everyone starts puking up all this shit and you're connected with other people. - Do you own someone? - Like one consciousness and you could feel Homegirl's pain. She could fill your pain. And it's like a zigzag of connectivity and we're just going and it's fucking nuts. And that's the price for admission. - Is that true? - Are you ready? - I'm willing. - Let's go. It was a joke. I did it with motherfucking Blair. Saki and Theo, they were there when I was puking. That one was scary, I haven't been back since. - Really? - Yeah, so you've been to a couple levels that are like, "Oh, that was too much." That was too deep. That shit was crazy. I didn't enjoy it, but it was good. It was good. - See, I'm very interested in now, I'm down. - Yeah. - Yeah, for sure. What you just said if I can control things? - It's all that, that shit, you wanna be like, you wanna form like Voltron and you enter your room and those goolies, we'll fucking do. 'Cause your delight shines so bright that can't be near you. - See, we've talking about this before. - Boom, shine. - The gold, the gold. - Shine bright, hold on. - Shine bright. Your light is within Christ consciousness. A, also to heaven and hell is all bullshit. It's all just in here. - I can see that. - Yeah. - Mercator is just beating a coma. - Heaven is what you make it. - I like the way you start going with these voices. - Yeah. - Okay, that's it. - So I want, all right, last question about it. If I can control everything, right? I can go anywhere and you're saying I can go back into my own memories. - Mm-hmm. - All right, that's the last question. - Mm-hmm. - Sick. - Yeah. - Back to what we were talking about. You get ready, you smoke met with a guy in Trader Joe's. You start doing stand-up. Once you start doing stand-up, the first time was a student show and then you said, you'd never left and you've been doing it ever since. - Yes. - So as somebody that's been doing stand-up not long, well, you know, what, a year now? I've done a few shows that aren't comedy spots. And I've found that I have a horrible time. - Mm-hmm. - Okay. Just make sure every time I hate. - Okay. - You know, I'm your phone, bitch. Fuck. All right. - Um, like bars and I did a wine bar recently of only Armenians, turns out Armenians hate me. - Yeah. - Yeah, big time. - Yeah, they don't like-- - They told me. - As soon as they tell, I had a guy do this to me. - My friend, my friend. He's not my friend. - First row. - Well, you know where we're at? We're the only people in here. - Glendale. - Glendale, son. - That aren't, uh, Armenian. - Glendale, Mafia. - Yeah. The only people here that aren't Armenian besides the Mexicans at Home Depot. - Think Felipe's over here somewhere. How did his podcast last night? - Um, no. He's a little further. - He's a little bit further. - Yeah. - Yeah. - A little bit further. - It's ridiculous. - Hey, so this is good. I actually have amazing intel on this because I went through that for 10 fucking years. They suck and you don't have to do them 'cause you already have a level of success and fame so you could just run your own shows. But-- - I've done them just to practice. - I was gonna say, they sharpen your sword like you wouldn't believe. - Yeah, I wanted, I knew they were gonna eat, I was gonna eat shit, so I'm like, I need to do it. So I know what it is. - I lived over there. - That's the thing, that's where we cook. But comedy clubs are way better. I now only do comedy clubs. Unless it's like a good show. I have worked too hard and it's not even that. It's like I don't even have time. Like if I had time, I might do some schnickle fits as we call them, you know, the little, the shit ones. There's other shows that aren't at comedy clubs that are amazing like don't tell comedy and, you know, like those are great. - Oh, don't tell my bars. - Oh yeah, yeah. That shit we did, I did forever, bro. And then at a certain point, you just stop doing it. You'll know, I definitely would do it though. I would do it for a couple of years. - I need it to know. - And do it a lot, and know what that is, and know how to corral people, and then go to the comedy clubs and ever look back. 'Cause you just get skills. - Yeah. - You get the calluses on your nose. - That's what I need, you know. - I ate shit for the first time in front of a group of old Mexican women. - You need the calluses? - Yeah. And as I'm up there, I go, this is how bad it is. Nothing will ever be worse than this, this sucks. But then I got off stage like that, that I needed it. 'Cause that shit, a bitch was on her phone and the front, I made fun of her, but she's on the phone in the front row of the hole. She'll have a grab with the Loris. So I couldn't, I couldn't say anything else. - I probably don't need to say this, but don't only do bar shows, do both. You gotta say same thing. - No, I'm doing two or three, good one, yeah. But it's good, it's good to do them pretty regularly, especially as a newer comic. 'Cause it's just diamond forms under pressure and that's pressure. It just cooks you quicker. - I didn't want to, for my first one in Fresno, I didn't do anything to it. - It's boot camp, yeah. - It's hard. - But they're terrible, they're terrible. - I just hear it. - Yeah. - Cups of this, and people talk in order. - I've done a bar show with the game on the TV on. - The TV was on. - Volume, up. - The TV was fucking on. - Mute it, can you mute it? Can you mute it? - Yep. - And what do you say? - I'm not cool with the baseball that I was performing with. Like, fuck, that's exactly right. We suck compared to this game, dude. - During the pandemic, I performed on a boat outside on the top of it in the bay viewing this golden gate bridge with the mic. I was like, I can't compete against that architecture. Like, what the fuck? Am I got to say, that's better than that. I was like, what? - Stirstead facts about the bridge. - Hey, hey. - M. Night Shyamalan built it. - That's the wrong guy. - Well, what? - I think that's the director. - That's the director. (laughing) - The guy from science? - Hans Deldruck. Just making names. - Abby Normal. - Yo, I went to San Francisco last week. I haven't been there in so long. What's the last time you went? - I'm going next week. - It's so much nicer than it used to be. - Thank God. - 'Cause remember, ten years ago, it was a shit. - It was so. - And eight years ago, turned into shit. Yeah, four years ago as hell. I used to go my childhood and my teens and my 20s. - Same, same, I used to go. That was, we're going to the city. We have to be. - What's the best? Well, we're gonna be a clam chowder mother fucker. - They got a three story forever 21 and a virgin records, let's go. - Oh shit, I don't know about that. I was too little for that one. I used to go and then when I got old enough to go with friends, I was just doing drugs. So it was always just to be Hill or H Street. And then back and forth between that McDonald's where all the tweakers are. Yeah, that one. It's so nice. I did Cobbs last weekend. - Oh yeah. - It's so fun. - Yeah, it's so nice. - I saw no ball, no, no, nobody shoot no ball. - Oh, thank God. - And then I went like two miles away and that's where it's at. - Yeah. - And pushed it into one little section before the freeway. - Yeah. - Yeah dude, it's, now I walked to the fucking club. - It's anything go by and do drive-by's now. - Oh, this guy seems to be fucking artists. - Nah, take 'em out, man. They're gone. - What's the chance they actually like-- - That was a joke, guys. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. - They clean up our area for the Olympics. Could that actually have anything? - LA will look like-- - Where do they put them? I always wonder. - They're gonna put 'em in the same valley. - I don't know. - They spend they sent 'em like 10 years. You'll remember the influx, we got like 14, we're no, 4,000 homeless in our town of 80,000. All one strip there was a homeless, we called it 10 City. That wasn't a lot of walk over there, no more. 'Cause that was where I went to school. - You just put 'em in the desert. - Why not? - Give 'em some water, pray. (laughing) - Fill 'em in, fuck, like Mad Max. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoever makes it out gets another water. - Another water. - Another water. - No, for real, they're just into the center of the valley, man. - That's so fucked up. - Yeah. - They could fix 'em. - No. - Yeah. - Most you can't. - Most are too far gone, but some can. - Yeah. - Some can, then you'll see 'em in three years with a brand new teeth with all one shape. - Yeah. - You ever see those guys that used to-- - Their name was Kamala Harris. - Oh, it's fucked. - Call 'em back. (laughing) - Yeah, yeah, she's, we don't do politics because we don't know about it. - I don't even, I just make fun of her horse face. On all sides, fuck Trump too, fuck that mop top. - The one guy we do talk about often is, what's his name? - Jordan. - Gavin knew some stuff. - Oh, fuck that guy. - I hate that guy. - I hate that guy. - See, I have the same stance on all of them. - Exactly. - Fuck you all. - You need your own little gal. - On Instagram, you need that right there. - Fuck 'em all. - Come on. - Second and a half. - I wrote with Jesus bitch. Jesus is my governor. - Oh, I would. - Jordan was mine. - Even though he's not a man. - He was born here. - He was born here. - But it wasn't even born here. - Yeah. - I remember when we came, we did the groundwork. We didn't get a shit for our, we have a UC himer said. They did the ground breaking. And what was the guy's name, the governor of California before Arnold? Come on, big talk, John Kerry, his name. - Pete Wilson. - I don't know. - Anyway, he was there. - He was there. - He was there. - I thought it was gonna be Arnold. I was so excited for the filter. Like, the governor's gonna be, it was the ex-governor. Like, are you fucking kidding me? I thought Arnold's worst name was coming to school. Like, this is bullshit. And that's the far as you go with politics. - Yeah. - They let me down. - Ah, no. - No. - That's how he sounds. - Go, go gay. - Go gay. - Go gay. - Yeah. - That's co-he monster. - It went to co-he monster. - And it wasn't too far, it was Spanish. - Yeah, well more security in their AI, little dick, little pecker. Now they install all these fucking cameras and shit. Oh, like, what's the biggest? - Yeah, anytime there's the Olympics or just shit, just too much security. Which is good for security. But you know, that's not what it's used for. These motherfuckers have speeding drones now. Speeding camera drones to catch you in Beverly Hills. - Just for the drone. - I know the guy, they flew a drone over his house and said, "Hey, you gotta trim that tree or you gotta take it." I swear to God, right now, right here, right now. That's why I'm like, I don't like where we're headed. Fuck the drones. - You telling me the drones spoke to him? - No, the drones ratted on him to the city. The drone came over and said, "Hey, cut that fucking edge." - No, the drone filmed it. The drone filmed, whoa, as we're not far off from that. - That's the drone filmed this house. They told the city, the city cinema letter, trim your tree bitch, or you're gonna get fined. And he's like, where the fuck does come from? They're like, the drone up above. Here's the video. He's like, what? - To the vehicle. - Who? - What? - I don't like it. - Right here, right now. - Right here, right now that happened. - Real story. - To a comic. - Yeah, I don't know if he wants to be named him. So I'm gonna leave him anonymous. - Dates, where you gonna be at? - I'm at Cobb's comedy club, January. - Oh, let's do a sneak in. - Next week in June 4th and 5th, I believe, 3rd or 4th, something like that. - If you guys create a comic.com, come give me on tour. - There you go. - I'm everywhere. - Ontario, Charlotte. - Thank you, yeah, Oxford, Oxford. - Oxford again, Tempe. - Pasadena, Bakersfield, Calgary. - I'm going to Canada. - Yeah, everywhere, man. - I've been everywhere, man. Corpus Christi, Austin, Texas. - Yeah, damn it, damn it. - Come get these ayahuasca jokes, homie. - Jesus Christ. - You're booked up through the rest of the year. - Yeah, I'm tired. (laughing) (laughing) - Wait, are you an adult? Do you have a sleep schedule? - No. - Hello? - No. - I don't know why I'm giving you the damn. I'm gonna get real weird, man. We're going to turn into leather face. - No, do you have a sleep schedule? I just started like three days ago. - I just, I tried. - I just stand up, I have to. - No, I'm trying to like to like, hey, go to what? Go to sleep at this time, if I can't. - I just walk. - No, I just started three days ago, dude. - Did you already take a nap? - I got this thing. - No, I'll take a bunch, I'll just give you one. - Okay. - Is it already going? - I have, I don't know. - Yeah, whatever buzzes. You just, but you gotta put your mouth all the way over there, like that. - There you go. You don't have to finish if you don't want to, but there's a lot in there. You'll like it. - I'm not falling for that deep throat, Drake. (laughing) - You gotta pick it up with no hands. - Ooh. - Ooh-ey. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You know it's good. We eat if it gets you doing Mark Bronson. - Mark Bronson. - That's why I was singing right there. Ooh, ooh, ooh. - Oh, the song, I don't know who that is. - It's Nightdog, singing Mark Bronson. - You got me. - I usually know everything about songs. - You know the ghost face killer? Mark Bronson mixed. - Oh, that's, oh, no, I don't know who that other guy is, Mark Bronson. - He's the presuper producer, he clicks up. There's too much, man. (laughing) - Before you spit last summer's face. - What's your favorite three movies? - Ooh, what's your favorite three movies? - Goonies. - Great. - One, two, and three. - True Grit. - True Grit. - Jeff Bridges. - Oh shit. Okay, keep going. The goonies. - Dude, it's too hard. Three. - Oh, come on, man. - Let's breathe that you can watch all the time. - That's easier. - I've been watching Dune a lot lately. - Oh, dude. - John Wick. - New Dune. - Okay, I'm too. - John Wick, I watched for like three years first one. - Lord of the Rings, I've watched for like five years. I watched movies like shows. - I watch movies. - I watch movies. - I watched Nightfall the past nine years straight. Every night. - Nightfall. - I was doing Nightfall every five years. - I was doing Nightfall, I switched to curb. - Oh yeah, I did that and I flew back to the office. - Yeah. - And I'm always studying, every couple of years. - Yeah. - This is the top five pulp fictions up there. - Yeah. - Perfect movies. Good one. - There's so many, man. - Oh, man. - Just a lot. - That's fine, that's three right there. - Yeah, that's the short list, the who I am, Dumb and Dumber. - What do you mean? - Cheers. - Cheers then. - You good? - I know some, I'm sure you do too, but I know some amazing glass blowers in the glass blower community. I grew up with them is actually how. My whole Lucy Goosey driving on Mushroom Story, the full's name is Adam Hooverie and he makes a insane bongs that cost six figures. It's insane. - Lend last. - What's the glass company called? - Hoops. - Hoops glass. - Oh, it's all about hoops, the fucking hoops. - H-O-B. - Yeah. - Yeah, I know who you're talking about. - My whole driving on Mushroom Story, my supervised video is his car. It was his fucking car. And he's a world renowned glass blower, a bong maker and all sorts of rinses. - Matt Robertson. - Yeah, I know Matt Robertson. - Exactly, I know you know him too. So yeah, I was just out there doing, I got to be serious. - I knew Hoops since middle school, high school, he went to my middle school. - Oh shit, yes. I knew him before he blew glass, he knew before I didn't stand him, it was fucking crazy. - Random. - Yeah. - There it is. - Oh yeah. - Oh, stupid shit. 'Cause we say six figures, I'm like, wait. There's only about five dudes that do that. - Yeah, I don't even know all of his business, but I just had him on the positive. And he said, I have sold some pieces, six figures. - Yeah. - And that's amazing. And look at it. And then of course he has more. - Small ones. - Just cheaper price shit for the regular folk that don't want to spend the mortgage on the bomb. - I have a friend that was. - What? - Before he had kids, he had a house. - A half a million glass, so stupid. - Yeah. - Like some pieces, I know one guy that has a couple million glass. - It makes me nervous. - Yeah. it makes me nervous, it makes me, it now makes an enjoyable experience to give me anxiety. I'm like, hey, put out the one, put out $1,000 bond. - Yup. - Right there. I like that one. - It's where it stops. - If I break it, it stops there. - I pay you back eventually. - Yeah. - Yeah, the other one I'm just gonna have to fucking block it. - But I don't, I'm good. - I'll get you a new bond that's not $5,000. You know, if I break that one. - I agree. - Here's a $200 one. - Yeah, I just got a little draft from Matt in the day. It's a water bottle with a little fuck making it. - They make those, hey ones, they look like wild bottles. - That's fun. - But it is fun. I have a crushed canned pipe that's called glass, sick. - That's fun. Now that's fun. I like that. We used to smoke out of cans. - First time I ever smoke was out of Mountain Dew Can. Ever. What was the first time you smoked out of it? What was the first time you smoked weed when you were a kid? Was it out of a can or was it proper? - No, I think a shitty little metal pipe. I remember maybe a joint, like a shitty joint. But yeah, we definitely did cans a lot. Made little bongs, little water bottle bongs with the Gatorade bottle. - All out pens. - Yeah, yeah, learn to use metal shit real quick 'cause you would melt the plastic and just be huffing it. - Yeah, we used to. - Yeah, put a little gum around it to seal it. Like real ghetto. I just put date, Scotch here. - And you used the whole thing, Scotch. - But I would dump it. I was so afraid my mom would kill me. I would trash it every time I was done. - Yeah. - I'd make it two a day. - Yeah. - Look at the idiot. - I could just hit it just one week, yeah. - No, there was a graveyard. My grandma was the other side of the fence. We were in the country. So I dumped them every day. - The poor girl, the guy mowing the lime. Where did these bongs keep coming from? - Exactly. Then it got sold and I was almost gonna find my graveyard. - There's a litter of bones, it's hilarious. - Somebody recycled that shit. - All right. - Thank you, bro. Much love. - Namaste. - Where do you go? Hold on. - Yeah. - What, when did you show come out? - My special? - No, when did you show every time, like your podcast? - Oh, my show comes out every Monday. - Monday. - Monday's Community Service Podcast. - What time? - I should know that. And I don't. Noon, AM. - Noon? - AM. - What? - Like some, I love it man. - Midnight. - Hey. - Time. - Just look at her, man. Sit the like button, subscribe. Hit the button, I don't remember when it comes out. - Well, Craig. - Thanks for being here. - That's a good week. I'm smiling a lot. Appreciate you. - Much love. - Thank you very much. Everybody, website will be linked in the description for tickets. - You got this one. - All right. - All right, Marty. - Thank you. - Thank you. - All right. Guys, thank you for being here. Have a dope ass day.