Didn't See THAT Coming | Reading Reddit Stories

Hi, welcome to Smoshreads Reddit stories. I'm Shane and today is all about updates Now I know people have been asking for us to do updates on stories we've read in previous episodes of this show That is not this episode. We found new stories that have a lot of updates But we will be doing that at some point We have a whole team Compiling stories from the past and searching the internet for their updates by team I mean Emily and Marcus our heart and work and Bailey as well Sorry, Bailey is currently not here This episode today is actually being directed by Marcus. Yeah, very cool. Yeah So I'm gonna do this just like culinary crimes Have you ever read a story that was so weird? I think we're missing an asshole I am joined by two people who have updates for me Trevor and Angela update We're moving. Yes. Yeah, that is actually true I've been having some hit pain. Oh, oh personal. Well, that's update. I don't know. I was literally trying to think of things No, no, let's get medical. Yeah, it's a new stretches, you know, that's good I think it might be a basketball thing. I don't know probably. Yeah, do a lot of basketball getting old Yeah, and you're tall. Yeah, don't say you're getting old when you're like eight years younger Just like don't really do that You're so into that. Yes, so we are moving As some of you watching this and if you're listening, you're not seeing it. We are in a temporary studio right now The Smosh studios are moving to our brand new space. I'm like I think we're gonna go right back to the same building I think we're just like we're gonna come back moving that's just same person with a mustache I think it's all in a elaborate pit video. Yeah, I'm moving guys. It might be a prank I just can't let go Rancho Cucamunga like that. I know it treated us so well for so long. I know I'm gonna miss Rancho Cucamunga. You out grow Rancho, but I hear Oxnard is gorgeous. This is awesome Okay, we're doing full Oxnard. I'm committing to Oxnard. Great. I wanted to try ventura beach Close. Yes, it's right right there. That's why I'm saying it's perfect. It's maybe we're in between Oxnard adventure That's it. Yeah. Yeah, we're right there. We just we have our own little lot on the beach. Yeah, I won't That's where my grandpa's carpet shop is Dude, and we're and we're right next door in my grandpa. We're filming from my grandfather's carpet Yeah, yeah, and to be more specific our studio is actually on the fifth story of a condo building Yeah, so we're actually in a residential building, but our studios are right there smack in the middle Yeah, it's a permit thing. We can do a lot more of that We're allowed to do whatever we want. We can get pretty crazy. Yeah, this podcast really good So we're allowed to do stuff now really good Podcasts do good podcast do good. We can break laws now It's our work. We can break zoning laws All right, are we ready to hop into some stories? I'm so stoked every single one has an update Oh, really funny if we did updates episode and there would no update if we get to the story and Shane's like Next story, sorry, we lied. Okay Let's begin our first story comes from am I the asshole posted in December of 2025 Am I the a hole for making my daughter's boyfriend buy a new t-shirt Okay, can you please settle a mild dispute for my family on the 23rd of December my daughter whose 19 her boyfriend 19 came over for dinner. We had dinner then because he's going away with his family for Christmas He arrived rang the bell and I answered the door he came in took off his jacket and that's when I saw it He was wearing a t-shirt that said it's not gonna suck itself Fuck I took one look at that shirt and asked him if he had any money He said no and asked why I told him that the shirt showed a marked lack of respect for both my daughter and my wife I pulled 220's out of my wallet and quietly ushered him back out the door and towards the wall mart three miles away And told him to buy a more respectful shirt with 40 bucks with 40 bucks Uh to buy a more respectful shirt and come back with it on mind you this whole exchange took place between him and I without an audience He was gone for 15 minutes came back with a nice polo shirt on We had a nice dinner together and nothing was mentioned of the incident The next day my daughter came to me and her mother and told us what I did. He humiliated him They aren't in breakup territory or anything and no yelling or anything of the sort went on My wife did tell me I could have handled it differently So reddit am I wrong for handling it this way and if so how could I have handled it at it? I'm 57 and a long haul truck driver So I've had my share of bad moments most of us guys here can remember stupid things that we did as a teen even into our 20s The ones that stand out for me are the ones where someone didn't react with anger or malice They were the ones where someone reacted with constructive kindness One where a quiet redemption was offered Where a mirror was quietly held up to my behavior Those are the ones I learned from and appreciated the most Hopefully he comes out the other side with a new appreciation for kindness offered quietly And without fanfare just my thoughts Okay Um This feels pretty clear cut for me I think he handled it very well Right? The shirt Hilarious Bad though Do not I don't know what that guy was thinking showing up to dinner with his for his girlfriend and her parents wearing that Um bold choice he got lucky That he showed up and there was just the dad and the dad did that and didn't kill him. Yeah You fuckers. I think I would say if I wore the t-shirt I would think that maybe it's like a funny shirt right? It's a really generous for him like, so sorry do you want to oh no you should Okay um I think that would be like so I think it would be like so great And I think okay gotcha All right Got ya And you could do a seemingly quick cut out of that I knew it this combo It's only it's only if we're waiting outside for too long Yeah we get the semen Okay sorry This shirt's Hilarious No that is truly I mean When I said okay you guys kind of got me for a second so I said that shirt Hilarious and you didn't respond I was like oh no is it Shit It's actually not that funny Oh okay so sorry no I guess I can do everything that Okay um I love that he like is already defending himself in the post I bet this guy handled this very well And he's like I think I did the best job at what I could I think you did a great job No I mean like for him to be like here's $40 She's like I feel like there are there are people out there that would have been like Get out of my house I never want to see you again Like there are people that would flip out over that The fact that he was like hey man like here's some money Just please go get a new shirt This solution isn't kicking him out like he's still invited Still saying come back So it is like kind of a respectful way at like letting out boundaries Yeah and the boyfriend did go and get a nice polo shirt instead of going to Walmart and he could have gotten another disrespectful shirt He could have come back with the man the legend If this was a lonely island sketch he'd come back and it's like With something worse Something worse We'll talk that And it's like He comes back when he just put the shirt back And he's like drinking a beer It's like thanks for the $40 Also reminder The the boyfriend and girlfriend have been dating for four months So this is probably one of the first dinners He's having with him That's what he wore And those shirts aren't like That come on he's got to have other shirts Yeah Like it's one thing to just not dress like Well to see your girlfriend's parents Like you would want to kind of dress up a little bit But to choose that shirt This was the 23rd of December Yes That's Christmas What I'm wondering is like I The girlfriend obviously has to have a good sense of humor But like I'm surprised for her to not be like Hey I think that shirt's hilarious Maybe we wear something different But the fact that it's like I'm trying to figure out Like if there's an acceptable age For this to be like I'll let the kid wear the shirt And I don't know that I don't think that's the first time meeting the parents Four months And it's like It feels like it's on its way to be serious But it's not just yet It feels like it's an important meeting Like I remember I was a little bossy With my first boyfriend when he met my parents Because I was like Do you mind if we pull over and you like And we grab something for you to get my mom Like I was a little But I was nervous You want to make a good impression Because if you make that bad first impression With the parents it lingers You're like okay I want everything to be cool I want my parents to like you And I like how O.P. the dad was like I did this in a respectful way That was like showing what I needed changed Yeah He like he didn't He wasn't just an asshole to be an asshole And he's a 57 year old long haul trucker He's probably a bit of an intimidating figure Yeah Right like I'm imagining a type of guy That's like you don't want to piss off Yeah So to get that response is like You'd better be lucky You'd better be happy that that's what you got 40 bucks The woke thing to do would have been For the girlfriend to wear the shirt That would have been pretty woke Yeah it would have been woke Because it's like I'm just saying What if they just switch shirts Like what? Yeah What's another way he could have done That's been like Please put on one of my shirts Like what do you And so he comes back out with a shirt That says It's not going to suck itself And just bigger It's just an Excel of it. Vernex was not the asshole. I agree. Comments, you were very classy about it and even gave him the opportunity to get a new shirt instead of just going home and changing. Not the asshole. 14,000 upvotes. Someone said, "Not the asshole. I think you handled it well." He was an idiot to think that shirt would go over well with his girlfriend's family and his lucky you didn't give him more grief for it. Someone responded to that saying, "Giving him money to get a new shirt and letting him come back shows you are willing to give him a second chance." Plus, it showed you have compassion by pointing out the issue but also giving him help with the solution instead of leaving him on his own to figure it out. I'm curious what male role models he has if any. Being a teenager, he probably doesn't realize the full implication of how disrespectful his shirt was. I think you handled it with excellence and grace. Yeah. Someone said, "Why on earth would your wife be against this?" Oh, he said, "She just hated the idea of him being put on the spot. I did point out that I could have done it in front of everyone." Yeah. He could have put on the spot. He was not put on the spot. He was. He saved him. Yeah. I fear that from the spot, it couldn't have gone any better. No. I don't know what other solution is better than that. Yeah. I feel like the mom just didn't like the confrontation of it all and she's blaming the dad because she knows him rather than blaming the person who wore the shirt. Someone said, "Question, what else was on the shirt? Still in bad taste, but was there a graphic printed on it of say, a lollipop or something like that?" Oh, he said, "An arrow pointing down." No, it's really sweet. I mean, the reddit was like, "Let's think of all the options." Yeah. The arrow, it said, "I mean my penis. Just don't know." He said, "Dad and mom of my girlfriend see here, penis down here." All of you suck this. Yeah, I think it's a huge red flag, the boyfriend wore that. Like, I kind of don't care what male role models he has. I'm like, "He knew what he was doing. It feels so disrespectful." And even worse now is that after the dad did that, the boyfriend then made a big thing about it to do the girlfriend and is making her feel bad about it and putting it on her. That is honestly a big red flag within the shirt. Exactly. Being like, "Oh, something I did made you feel uncomfortable, I'm going to be mad at you for feeling that way." Yeah. Yeah. I don't like this guy. No. So we have an update. Okay. So where do we think? I don't know where this could possibly go. Is the boyfriend worse or do we find out that how the dad handled it is he lying about how he handled it? But I don't think I read it. It has burned you. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think I'm not buying a unreliable narrator from this guy. Yeah. Now, I don't think so either. I'm buying their smoke where there's fire. This guy isn't that great of a guy to his girlfriend and they're going to break up. Yeah. That shirt kind of shows his values. Yeah. Here's what I'm thinking. And I know this is probably crazy, but I'm just going to throw it out there. The boyfriend sneaks into the dad's closet and finds the same exact shirt and confronts him about being a hypocrite. That would be the most epic version of that. That would be pretty incredible. I think maybe it could even be a movie. Yeah. Obviously kind of like a morality tale. Yeah. Okay. It's thematic. Update the next day. Oh, fun. After reading these comments and listening to everyone's point of view, I sat my daughter down this morning and asked what her boyfriend actually said to her. This changes my opinion of him. Apparently, he'd not told my daughter what the phrase was on the shirt, but did tell her accurately what I said to him and asked him to do. He didn't use the word humiliated that was my daughter's interpretation. Her rush to defend him came from our examples. Apparently, she's taken note of the times I've defended my wife and vice versa. She also took note of our disagreements in private after the fact. She is going to talk to him when he gets back tomorrow to follow up on why he thought the shirt was appropriate for the family setting. I'll update again after the conversation. Okay. So he told his girlfriend, your dad made me change my shirt. It's like, what was on the shirt? It was just a normal shirt or whatever. He didn't tell her, well, I was wearing the, it's not going to suck itself shirt. I was wearing the shirt you hit. The shirt that demeans you. Well, I was wearing the shirt you told me not to wear. Yeah. Yeah. It's not a big deal. Okay. Okay. I'm already like a kid. Yeah. I'm really communicating. All right. So the boyfriend sucks more. Yeah. Yeah. Not looking good for him. No. I think it's going to get worse. Update number two comes hours later. Okay. Oh, hell yeah. Great. I'm about an hour ago and this will be informative. She asked him why he'd not told her what the shirt said when he talked to her. His reply was telling because it was embarrassing. Then she went on to ask him why he wore it originally and he admitted that the shirt had been a gift from his older brother, who's 21, and that the older brother had dared him to called him chicken when he objected, et cetera, dumb sibling crap apparently. She went on to tell him that none of what he'd done was cool and that she really liked him and that he'd always been kind to her. She said she wasn't breaking up with him, but that these steps needed to be done. First, he needed to explain to his parents the entire situation. Second, he needed to show up in person to our home and bring the money for the shirt. And as she put it, put in a whole ass kissing session that included the explanation of the dare, et cetera. She said that if this was handled well, they could talk about moving forward and what that looked like. After the phone call, she talked to her mom and I and admitted that she forgot her worth. She said that as long as she'd been alive, I had never gone out of my way to embarrass her mom and that I'd always been respectful and not let anyone be disrespectful to her mom. Made me feel really good. So she wasn't going to settle for less. Good for her. I'll update after this visit later tomorrow afternoon. Okay. So the boyfriend's not saying, well, my older brother dared me, he called me chicken. And that is very powerful. And at the end of the day, what can we say? That's basically a spell. Honestly, though, like, I truly, I was really, I've been this whole time. I'm like, what could compel a person, a 19 year old person aware of the shirt? And that's just about the most believable thing. Enter a evil, ugly older brother, like you she wear it, dude, who's she fucking wearing? What are you fucking chicken? What? Come on. You fucking P world. I'm not going to say it. We asked earlier what male role models does he have and it found, we found out he has a brother who's two years older than him. And that's not good. I'd consider myself two years older than you, rough. And being called a chicken, death, death. Yeah, death. I'd consider myself like, I think I was, you know, relatively like normal amount of dumb for a 19 year old. I just, I don't think anybody could ever know matter what you said to me convinced me to do something. I'd be like, you're the dumbest person. I'm not going to do that. That, maybe though, he was like, really wanted his older brother's approval. Yeah. And his little brother was like, it's chill, dude. Just wear it. It's funny. And he like, why wouldn't he just wear it and then go and change it on his way? Maybe he didn't have that. Because he would be a chicken. Because he'd be a chicken, bro, because ultimately that would make him a bigger chicken. I don't understand. He would be a chicken. He would be like, he would like a little bit of a chicken. His brother will know. His brother's just in the bushes watching and walk up to the house. Just like, you call me this balance. He like, he like secretly changes the shirt for the dinner and comes back home. But he puts on the, the, the, the, the, the, the, it's not going to suck itself shirt. And he comes back in his brother's like, where are you going? He smells like chicken. He wakes up the next morning. He's like, he changed that shirt, didn't you? We find out his brother is like, oh, itch. And then he wakes up and he like, feels feathers on him and he's like, oh my god. Oh, no. I'm a chicken. Oh my god. But honestly, an awesome ceremony. Your siblings opinion of you and your siblings calling you not cool when you're young is like, really sad. It's death. And you will do anything. And that, and I feel bad for him because that's socks. That was bad advice. My brothers were luckily so much older than me that they didn't do anything of that level. But they did have that power over me when I was a little kid. I would have done anything. Yeah. Right. But you have a sibling who's about that age difference, right? Yeah. He's two and three, three years younger than me. That's. Yeah. It's powerful. It's a powerful like. Yeah. I mean, he siblings that close an age, but you were older than him. Yeah. And he's still. If he says anything, I do is not cool. I'm like rough. I kept saying tats instead of tattoo when we were both getting tattoos and he texted me with the artist. I'm getting tattooed. We're both getting sibling tattoos. And I get like, so it's like the longest tattoo you've ever given or what's and I kept saying tat. And I was like, that's a cool tat. And my brother texted me and all kept, please stop saying tat. It's really uncool. And he's right next to me in the. No. They'll be devastated, but it is like really uncool to say tat, so I don't think it's that bad. It's a nice tat. Yeah, you're fine. I don't know. But you know, siblings, it just cuts, it cuts deep because it just right goes back to when you were like a kid and you had no fricking it. I don't know. I don't know. Peace like me doesn't really care. Yeah. I've talked about my brother though. Peace like me. Peace like me doesn't get it. Like me. All right. Update number three. Well, the next day, it's December 28th, 2025. This will make those of you following this saga laugh. I received a call this evening from Mr. Boyfriend's parents. Firstly, they are mortified and extremely apologetic. Secondly, and the best part of this update, I have their permission to squeal, is that his parents are on Reddit and commented on my post in support of the way I handled the situation. They told me that they love my daughter and that weed raised her right and had not raised their sons to show this level of disrespect for anyone, let alone his girlfriend. Apparently Boyfriend was following up on one of my daughter's conditions and went to talk to his parents. As the story unfolded, his mom reached for her phone, opened Reddit and yelled, is this about fucking you to quote his dad as the son read the first half paragraph he died a little inside. So anyways, they are going to come to dinner tomorrow evening with Boyfriend, more updates tomorrow night. Oh, dude. Your dad, your parents are redditors, dude. That's crazy. But also, they're going to dinner, they can do something really funny. Oh, they could be extremely funny. Is this playing about us? That's what that is. Is this about you? Dude, honestly, that's something that I've never considered before, is the people inside of the Reddit story, not being aware that they're in a Reddit story. Like the fact of him seeing, like, oh my god, there's this Reddit thread about me in real time. That's crazy. That's wrong. If I'm that mother, I'm losing it. I'm going, this is, where's the shirt? Oh my god. What if he showed up to the dinner wearing a shirt that says it sucks itself? [LAUGHTER] This situation should suck itself. Don't worry, it sucks itself. I go, fine, I'll suck it myself. I'll suck it myself. I'm sure this says this is such a Reddit story. Merge? Merge. My life is a Reddit story, bro. Suck it. Update number four. Dinner was very pleasant. Let me say that his parents are great. My boyfriend showed up with red roses for my daughter and yellow roses for my wife. He offered what I thought was a very sincere apology and a card with the entire $40 in it, even though he'd given me the change and receipt on the original night. I cooked tonight to give my wife a break. I made an Indian dish called Butter Chicken with Bosmati Rice. Neither had eaten curry before, but loved it. Woo-hoo. What am I reading? I made an Indian dish. What am I reading? This is fucking turns into David Copperfield. What am I reading? That we traveled out into the country-- [LAUGHTER] Years later, my daughter graduated. As it turns out, his older brother is the family athlete. J.V. soccer, varsity soccer, and a sports scholarship for soccer. You don't say. The quintessential jock. Little brother is the exact opposite. Artistic. He's got real talent, sensitive quiet. Felt like he never measured up to his big brother and works to gain his big brother's respect. Brother takes full example of this and exploits his little brother for shits and giggles. Near the end of dinner, my daughter says, I think I'll keep him around for a little longer. You guys OK with that? We are good with that for now. His mom is the boss, though, for thinking outside the box. As punishment to the older brother, mom went into his clothing drawers and closet took every shirt off of him and bought him eight very bright pink t-shirts that he'll wear until he realizes just how damaging exploiting someone anyone is. His access to cash is also cut off until said lesson is learned. Anyway, a successful night with new friends was enjoyed. Hope this was the update you hoped for. [LAUGHTER] These are-- It came with butter chicken and all that fun stuff. They disowned their other son. These are-- And he's got a rare pink. These are grown-ass kids, man. This is a 19 and a 21-year-old. Like, come on, though. I guess I don't know what high schoolers go through now. I feel like wearing a pink t-shirt does not hit. Like it did back in 2003. Yeah, it feels very-- I don't think I think wearing a pink shirt, I don't think is a problem for any high school kid or-- also, he's 21, no? Oh, he's 21, he's-- Yeah, wait, sorry. That's right, I forgot. And his cash bonus cut off, who is-- That's perfect. That's an adult, who do what he wants. He's an adult whose mom is taking him sure it's not giving him money. Maybe that's her g-rated way of giving him the revenge back, because she didn't want to give him a disgusting shirt. But she was like, I'll make you feel girly. I guess so. Oh, you're a girl, no. This is so good. So he is 21, I forgot. I don't know why the way they were talking, it was like, oh, yeah, I guess, sure. But no, what? I love the thing with-- It's the way they're talking like J.V. soccer versus-- Me too, like it's-- It's like, damn, I-- I know, they're listening all of it. J.V. this, varsity this. Yeah, OK, wait. I love this family, I want to hang out. Oh, OK, I was confused. In high school, he was doing all that soccer stuff. And now he has a soccer scholarship to a college. I just like that it's like, we took all your clothes away and cut off your casualty. He's like, all right, I'm going to go to the bar. Like, yeah, all right, you guys are weird. All right, I'm going to take my credit card and go get a shot of who he is at the bar. Anyways, OK, moving on. That was a very fun first floor. Good, that was good. That was just, yeah. Classic dad. And we kind of got like three movies out of it. That was a sort of modern family. Yeah, some good, clean family fun. Yeah, absolutely. Our next story comes from, "Am I the asshole?" This was posted in February of this year. "Am I the asshole for not inviting my cousin to hang out anymore after she kept making jokes about my life choices?" OK, this could go a lot of places. So I, a 22-year-old woman, have a cousin. I'll call her Mary, a 23-year-old woman. And we used to be genuinely really close growing up. Like our family see each other almost every weekend. We went to the same school for a while. And there was a point where she was honestly my closest friend out of everyone I knew. We told each other everything. But over the past year or so, things just started feeling different. Hard to explain at first, like nothing I could really put my finger on, just a vibe I was getting. So a bit of background, I finished college earlier this year and started working a full-time job. Nothing crazy, just a normal office job. But it was a big deal for me personally, because I worked really hard to get there. Mary, on the other hand, is still figuring out what she wants to do. And like I genuinely mean it, when I say, I have zero judgment about that. Life isn't a race, and everyone figures things out at their own pace. I never once made her feel bad about it. Or at least I really tried not to. But somewhere along the way, she started making these comments, little things at first that I brushed off as just her sense of humor because she has always been kind of a sarcastic person, and I used to find it funny. Stuff like, must be nice to already have your life together, whenever I mentioned anything work related. Or some of us don't have it easy like you, if I talked about weekend plans. She started calling me corporate girl, as like a nickname, which sounds harmless. But the way she said it was always a little sharp, like there was always just a tiny edge underneath it that I couldn't quite explain to anyone without sounding oversensitive. And it wasn't just once in a while. It became kind of a pattern. If I mentioned being exhausted after a long week, she'd say something like, try being unemployed and stressed, must be rough having a paycheck though. If I talked about saving up for a trip or something, I wanted to buy, she'd go, of course you can afford it with this little laugh. If I brought up anything about work at all, even just casually in conversation, there was almost always a comment waiting on the other side of it. At first, I genuinely just laughed it off every single time because I did not want to be the person who can't take a joke. I kept telling myself she didn't mean anything by it, and I was probably just reading into things. But then it started happening in front of other people, family dinners, group hangouts, even once in front of some people we had just met that night. And something about having it happen in front of others made it feel worse somehow. Like, I could feel myself getting quieter every time we were in a group together because I never knew when the next comment was coming. And I didn't want to have to laugh it off again in front of everyone. I started kind of dreading hanging out with her, which made me sad because this is someone I genuinely love and used to look forward to seeing. Then a few weeks ago, we made plans to grab coffee just the two of us. And within like the first 20 minutes, she made a comment about how I've changed since I started working, and then I'm too busy for real people now. And I don't know if it was just because I was already tired or because it had been building for so long, but something about that one just hit different. So I said something, I kept my voice calm. I wasn't trying to start a fight or make it dramatic. I just told her honestly that the jokes had been piling up and they were starting to feel genuinely hurtful. And I'd really appreciate it if she could ease up on them. She did not take it well. She got defensive almost immediately and told me I was being way too sensitive and acting like I was better than her. She said she was just teasing and that I was making a big deal out of nothing. The conversation got a little awkward after that and we kind of just moved on, but it felt unresolved. After that, I just stopped reaching out to make plans. I still reply to her texts when she messages me. I don't ignore her anything, but I haven't been the one to suggest getting together or initiate anything like I used to. Well, apparently that did not go unnoticed. My aunt called my mom recently and said Mary is upset that she feels like I've suddenly gone cold on her and she doesn't understand why I'm being distant, which like I get that it probably does feel that way from her side, but also she kind of never acknowledged what I said at the coffee thing. Now there's a bit of a divide in the family. Some people think I should just brush it off, keep the piece, she was just joking around. Others actually understand where I'm coming from and think I had every right to say something and pull back a little. And I really don't want this to turn into some massive family drama because I do care about Mary and I miss the friendship we used to have, but I also don't want to go back to feeling uncomfortable every single time we hang out and biting my tongue every time she makes a dig. So my the asshole for slowly pulling back after she kept making these comments, even after I told her how I felt. Ooh, that is so heartbreaking. What a tough place it would be. It's so hard to like, yeah, just like obviously like hear the progression of like the first couple of times it being like, and then just getting worse and worse and not knowing what to do. And then when you finally say something about it, to be just told that you're like overreacting like not so exhausting. To answer O.P's question at the end, I don't think you're an asshole for pulling back after you've communicated your boundaries. I think it gets into scary, it gets into like debatable territory when you pull back without communication. But I think O.P did what they were supposed to do in that like they said what they needed. They gave that person a chance and then that person kept crossing those boundaries. Yeah, I think she's hand, I don't know how I would really handle it differently. It's really sad to like look at this, especially now being in my 30s where you look at like your 22 and 23, right? And what's tough about your 20s is like, yeah, you're all trying to figure your life out. And the pace is at the time when you're 22 and 23, it feels astronomical. - It's so true. - You're successful. - It's so true. - It's like, you're both going to be 31 day and you're going to be like, wow, I can't believe my 20s. I didn't find a job until I was 25, 26, and you found a job at 23. And now it doesn't matter. Or like I found a job and I got fired and my late 20s were crazy. And then at the end, I found something. Your 20s are all over the place and your 30s are all over the place. Like as an actor, I think I can really relate to this because like I remember being a teenager early 20s where someone would like book a movie Yeah, and I'm like and I haven't booked anything in three years and I I fucking suck and I you can't help But feel resentful but then a few years pass and then that person who booked a movie hasn't worked in a couple years Yeah, and you're working. Yeah, yeah, and you start to realize like oh there's no such thing as like I'm better than you. You're better than me. Yeah, we're all on this roller coaster Well said I really relate to this and like in ways that like my 20s was that it was like very hard I had a lot of really good friends and like my roommates We like all were just so close and supported each other so much, but I think sometimes you can like You can feel so insecure about how you're doing in your day to day that then it somehow starts attacking you from the inside And then you get mad at people for having things that you want and that and you did nothing to get that You know what I mean that makes me mad. It just makes me mad that life hasn't given that to me yet So I'm and then I think sometimes you're in such denial about it because you love your friends that then you just start Like attacking them in little ways just because like honestly, I would I would always think about how like I'm a I'm a double Libra and like my want for fairness Sometimes strangles me because I'm like it's just it's just not fair because you have that money because you grew up with that money And I'm working and like just trying to be like well It's different for some people and like I would like say stuff I remember and then I had a friend that did this to me a lot every time I came home and I would like buy new clothes She'd I was like, oh Bought some stuff you bought clothes like she would always make me feel weird for spending money And I didn't even have like money to spend but it was just like it was a bad habit Yeah, and she would call it out and she would kind of be like, oh, I'm more she had like more jobs than I did and I just remember it was always like a really small comparison game and like a fairness Thing yeah be like well you have extra time because you have this or whatever and like just saying that out loud Not to bring someone down but to make you feel better and in the end it never makes you feel better makes you feel worse Yeah, I can relate in feeling the resentment and the like Obsessing over like wow that person's life is they have everything I want yeah, like at least like oh, they're working a job That's human or like yeah, truly like in my early 20s like I Was like I had been single up until I was like in my early 20s almost mid 20s and like I was very jealous of people for relationships and stuff. Yeah, and I was just like fuck like it's not me But there's nothing more freeing than let it like recognizing that resentment and like letting it go Or seeing that that resentment is getting in between you and your friend Yeah, and also probably getting in between you and your actual goals and happiness in life And it's tough because there is so much like societal expectation of like oh, you're you finish high school You got to go to college you finish college you got to get a job and and it's like so hard especially like you're early 20s There's so much going on upstairs. Especially now. It's like it's like hard your brain is developing and And it is hard and it's stressful and so like I totally can like empathize with like seeing someone who in your mind You're like they have it all together, but then yeah taking that out in a way like in a negative way on your friend Or something and then not being able to like reconcile and be like I'm sorry No for sure I realized that and when you're hard when you're feeling less than Somebody else it for some reason always feels like because your pain hurts sometimes like I'm trying to go back to When I would feel this way and I would make little digs and it was because I was hurting Yeah, totally and it was because I didn't want to hurt alone Yeah, I wanted someone to like understand how I felt and it's not that I never think I genuinely wanted to hurt somebody else I just wanted to go like well, I'm hurting so and I and I you don't be left behind exactly and like instead of just saying like I actually feel a little insecure and like actually opening up then getting like because that feels like that Your head says that's defeat. Yeah, like it's like if I admit it then I am a loser, but it's actually no It's actually it kind of acknowledge is like no you're not like you're just feeling this way Yeah, the reality of the situation is very different and it's like every I feel like every person that is you know over the age of 30 Everyone is like yeah, I found this thing, you know, my passion in life when I was 45 I found like my career when I was you know in my late 30s Like there is no everybody's timeline is different, but It's it's really hard to see that when you're you know young the same age as someone who you really care about and and probably like look up to an Away seeing them like you know succeed or do something that you want to do with the same age or was there pretty much the same age I think they're 22 and 23. So yeah, that's that's also it's hard when you're like doing it together Yeah, and you're like oh, and now I'm alone. Don't leave me here. Yeah, but I also feel for OP What a tough place to be in where it's like oh this person that I love Resents me for something I have no control over like you don't want to feel guilty for Succeeding or doing the things that you want to do like making you know strides in your life like they they're on a different timeline They're in a different path and and you it's really unfair to be made to feel guilty for that. Yeah, and like I'm not I'm not Want to usually gun for like oh cut someone out or move gets like move out of someone's life But you you don't have much choice when it's like oh this person wants me to be less. Yeah. Yeah, that is their whole Desire is for me to make myself smaller What option do you have? I mean I A lot I think almost all of my female friendships are a lot of my female friendships are People who are struggling because they thought safety is making themselves smaller Yeah, and environments like and and that is it's it's unfortunate because I do think OP should distance themselves And I don't know if I would have had that ability to know that or say that like five years ago And I mean once you have the conversation and try and bring it up and they're still not willing to like acknowledge that or accept it Then at that point, it's like you've done all you can do to like try and help them understand and it's it's up to them at that point to figure out Whatever's going on inside themselves and and release that insecurity or jealousy or whatever it is Um and move on. Yeah, I mean I I'm also not like generally speaking not someone who's very quick to like Oh, you got to cut them off, but I think some distance away from someone like that in that situation is necessary I don't think this is gonna get better. Yeah, if she tried to talk to her and it was met with that. I'm like this resentment is only gonna build Her resentment is based on her own success, right? It's like the only way this has a release is if her friend gets a job that she feels is equal to hers It's like all right Like hope that happens, but even then it's like is this the rest of our lives and you don't realize it at the time But that could fundamentally like really affect the way you walk in the rooms. Yeah, when you are worried about other people Yeah, and that is coming from personal experience. It's just hard. It's hard And I'm not surprised that so many people in her family are saying like oh, just brush it off Just deal with it. Make yourself small. Yeah, um verdict was not the asshole Comments not the asshole. She wasn't joking. She was taking little digs at you out of insecurity And then calling you sensitive when you finally said something you didn't even blow up You just pull back to protect your peace if she actually cared about the friendship She would have apologized and adjusted instead of running to the family like you wronged her She did go and tell the whole family afterwards, which is a betrayal, I think Oh, he said the point is she never apologizes she feels that's the best part about her that she never backs down Someone said not the asshole those were not harmless jokes They were repeated digs rooted in insecurity the pattern the timing and especially doing it in front of other people Shows it wasn't just teasing it was undermining you you did the right thing by addressing it calmly and giving her a chance to correct it Her response wasn't to reflect or apologize, but to dismiss your feelings and call you sensitive That's the real issue pulling back is not punishment It is protecting your peace. This is a natural consequence of their behavior You're still replying and being civil. You're just no longer investing in a dynamic that makes you feel small If she wants the closeness back she needs to acknowledge how her behavior affected you Hope he said I am not sure that things will be the same even after apologizing now. Wow Lastly, someone said yes, she sounds jealous I hope she comes to her senses soon takes what you said to heart and changes how she acts with you Not the asshole if asked again tell your aunt to ask her daughter you told her why at coffee Oh, he said my mom told her that but my aunt is defending her daughter that she was just joking. Yeah, I We have an update. Okay, and I don't have my faith in it. I think this is gonna get worse. Yeah, I think all the signs are there that's gonna get worse Okay, the next day So this took a turn. I absolutely did not see coming oh So yesterday a few hours after my original post I got a call from Mary and she was furious like immediately yelling the second I picked up She went off about how I portrayed her wrong on Reddit and how everyone is blaming her And that so many people have read it and now she looks terrible I was honestly just sitting there confused because like my post got some comments But it wasn't exactly what she was saying The comments were pretty measured some people agreed with me some said to talk it out nothing crazy But she kept going she started listing off all these specific things. I apparently said in the post except here's the thing I didn't say half of what she was claiming She was talking about details that straight up weren't in my post at all different scenarios things I never mentioned stuff that didn't even happen that's when it clicked she wasn't talking about my post She was either talking about a completely different post she found or I don't even know I tried to tell her that but she wasn't hearing it she hung up on me then apparently she went crying to her mom my aunt About how I publicly humiliated her on the internet my aunt called my mom My mom was confused because she'd actually read my post. I shared it to her after I got one such comment Which I which felt funny and it was pretty tame then another cousin got involved trying to mediate and actually went looking for the post Mary was describing he couldn't find anything matching what she She claimed. So then there was this whole family group chat thing happening that I wasn't even in but heard about later, where people were trying to figure out what was going on. And then, and this is the part that honestly made me laugh, Mary apparently let it slip in front of our other aunt that she just did it to get a reaction out of me. The whole viral Reddit post thing, either she made it up entirely or found some random post that vaguely sounded similar and decided to pretend it was about her too. What make me feel guilty, start drama, get attention? I genuinely have no idea. The family group chat apparently went silent after that or maybe she found my original post and just started exaggerating things. My mom texted me later like, "So your cousin is something else "and I just had to laugh because what else can you even do "at that point?" The funniest part, my actual post is fine. Barely got any traction, just sitting there minding its business while Mary created an entire fictional drama around it. I don't even know what to do with this information. Part of me feels vindicated because this is exactly the kind of behavior I was talking about in my original post. But another part of me just feels sad because this is so much more unhinged than I expected. I haven't talked to her since. Honestly, I don't know if I even want to anymore. This reads like the, she found the post and then exaggerated the hell out of it. - We got to make sure Mary doesn't listen to Smoshreads Reddit stories. (laughing) - Yeah, he is. - I can't go on Reddit, man. If I went on Reddit and saw like, you know, found like a post to like one of my friends being like, I have a friend who like works on a very popular YouTube channel and I was like, oh, like that would be crazy. That would be crazy. Actually, that would be really funny. Maybe I should start going on. (laughing) I mean, I was gonna say like, 'cause you know, being doing this for 10 years, there's plenty of times where I've gone on and read just conversations of people like talking about me in like, oh yeah, I mean, all the time, right? - Actually, you know, we're right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - And so like not horribly negatively, but just like in ways where I'm like, oh, I almost feel like I'm listening and on a conversation, I shouldn't be hearing it. It's kind of weird. I was always in the back of my head, wanted to write a Reddit story, so bizarre and see if somehow it gets on the show. - We'd probably clock it. (laughing) Probably too many spelling errors. (laughing) - I also think the way that the cousin exaggerated the story is how she's exaggerating her entire dynamic with OP in her head all the time. - I think that's how resentment works is it like builds up to a fictional place inside your own head? - God, it sucks so bad. - And it really does suck. - It's heartbreaking too to like have someone that you're that close to it sounds like and are just like best friends with and then truly not be able to do anything. - And also, you just have to let them figure this stuff out. - I'm not like standing up for Mary, but I will say sometimes the pain and like insecurity gets so strong that you go to extents to get attention and love, she's trying to get OP to say sorry in such a dramatic way because she wants love and attention in such a dark place that she's in. That now she's lying and she's like making shit up. - Yeah. And here's the situation. I mean look, if Mary happens to watch this, I would say to her, I'd be like, you're gonna be so much happier. Like you yourself will be happier if you let this resentment go and find like apologize and want the best for the people that you love in your life. And I think I believe that can really happen. She's young. I think people do go through these phases in life sometimes and I think it's possible to learn these lessons. - Yeah. - But if she doesn't, she's gonna blink and she's gonna be 40 and miserable. - I was just gonna say like life right now, especially in the world we're living in is too hard and too short to make anybody around you, especially the people you love, make any of their goodness a threat to you. It's just too dark. Like you're gonna blink and life is gonna be done. - Yeah. - And it's just like when a good thing happens to you, it happened to all of us because life's hard and we should just enjoy it. You know what I mean? - Yeah, and I would certainly say too to an unemployed 22 year old like, sorry that you ended up in like one of the worst fucking times to try to get a job. - Yeah, it's like, I can't imagine. You got fucked over by like a million other people than your cousin. - Yeah. - Be mad at them, be mad at the system. - Yeah. - Like it is not your fault that you're in the place you're in. - Yeah. - You're not take it out on the people who are there for you. - Yeah, that's the point, yeah. - You're gonna fuck yourself over even more. - It feels like OP did try to get married to like let down those boundary, they'll let down that, that animosity. - Yeah. - It feels like it just didn't work. - There are a lot of people that would have just been like, you know, had that kind of pattern of behavior and seen it and just not said anything and been like and just slowly just to not explain it. And I think that, you know, for her to be like, yeah, this is what's going on. This is like how I've been feeling and I really respect it, you know. - Yeah. - Yeah, do that. - And I just, it's just like, it sucks 'cause it's like, there is nothing better than truly genuinely wanting the best for the people around you, right? Like, and really wanting that. And it's hard when you're in a down place, but I would also say to Mary, it's like, there will come a time. I would bet money on it where OP is in a worse spot than her for whatever way. - Whatever it is, yeah. - And in those times, you're like, I believe OP would still want the best for Mary. And you're like, it's, the dynamic is going to change over time, but it's great that when you have people that in your life, that you know that no matter the circumstances, you want the best for each other and you're there for each other. - And even if you get, if you feel weird, I think just acknowledging it and going, hey, it's been a dark month for me. I wish I could, but I still want to support you. And just saying it out loud and being like, instead of just digs. - I think that's something, I think us here at Smosh are very good about that. About it being like, hey, I'm feeling this feeling. - Yeah. - And acknowledging like, hey, this is a rational feeling that I'm feeling, I'm letting you know, I'm feeling this. - I'm saying that. - I'm not asking on it, I'm recognizing it, but I'm also communicating I'm feeling this. - 'Cause once you acknowledge it, then it's like, whoa, I got it out. - Yeah, yeah. - But if you hide it, then you're like, that's cool, you went shopping today. I wish I could, and it's completely normal feelings. Like I literally in the last month have seen things have been like, damn, like I wish I was doing something like that. And it's like, and it's normal. But then also it's, you feel so much better when you see someone doing something. You're like, dude, that's so awesome for them. Like I feel so much more enriched when I'm just happy for people. But it's a very human thing. Like everyone goes through it. And it's just finding out, like, you know, figuring out the way to deal with it that isn't bringing someone on. - Should we kiss? - All right. Our next story comes from Am I the asshole? This is posted in February of 2023. Am I the asshole for yelling at my girlfriend due to her camera roll? - That, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that. - I know that there's every situation is different, but I feel like any, any story that starts off, Am I the asshole for yelling at my girlfriend? Like, yeah. I just like, I don't think there's ever been a situation where I'm like, yeah, that was, dude, justified to just yell at your partner. - Yeah. - But, let's hear him out, right? - Let's hear him out. Hold on, I'll hear him out. - There's gotta get some atrocious shit in those camera rolls. - Yeah. - Me, 23-year-old man, and my girlfriend, 21-year-old woman, have been together for four months now. She's great, beautiful, crazy, intelligent, and has the best personality. Genuinely, my dream girl, except for one issue, her camera roll. For background, she dated a guy for four years in high school and the first half of college. She broke up with him last year and has dated other people since then, leading up to me. She never really talks about him, unless telling a past story about her friend group, which he was part of until he suddenly up and left. According to her, the reason they broke up is she realized they were on two different levels of maturity. When I mean she's intelligent, I mean she's well known around campus and every professor adores her and we go to a big 12 university. She also got life-threateningly sick and while he was worried for her, she knew he wouldn't be responsible enough to take care of her in the future, progressive heart disease. They ended on good terms, but don't talk anymore because he is kind of an introverted guy, according to her. The part I get upset about is every time she opens her camera roll to show me a past picture, she scrolls past photos or videos of him and her. I brought this up to her before and she always laughs and says it's because she's too lazy to go through 30,000 photos. She hasn't deleted pictures since 2015. These photos and videos of him and her aren't romantic. They're high school shenanigans and usually involve her other friends, but I still can't help but feel jealous. Today she showed me a photo of her friends in 2018 and told me a funny story. He's in the photo. I said, you have a lot of pictures with him in an annoyed tone and she said, well, yeah, he grew up with me and my friends. We were kids together. It's like a look back into my childhood. I told her I didn't like those pictures and she offered to remove them and put them on a drive. I told her that wasn't enough. She told me they were precious memories. She shared with her friends and she wasn't going to delete them just because he was in a relationship. I kind of raised my voice and told her she should go back to him if the memories were precious. She got up and said, I don't want to go back to him but I also don't want to be with someone who is emotionally insecure. I have enough to deal with and then left. I've debated on texting her and apologizing. Am I the asshole? Buddy, I think you've already lost her. (laughing) Think me. Hey, you talk a little too late. You talked about how smart and intelligent and all this stuff about her. It sounds like she is. It sounds like she has no tolerance. It sounds like you don't get OP. It's not looking good. It's not looking very good. Yeah. This is something, kind of conundrum, we'll call it, um, of deleting pictures of, you know, it's so, and it feels like such a case by case thing. Like I, I can understand both sides of it, but in a situation like this where it's like someone that she went to high school with was like a part of a friend group and someone who, you know, she ended on good terms with. And like, as he said, there's, they're not romantic pictures. Like I, I think it's very unreasonable to be like, I want you to delete those memories fully from your life. I think it's very her being like, I'll take them off my phone and just put them on a drive. Like I think that's very mature to be like, you won't have to see them if I'm showing you something. Um, but yeah, I think asking her to just fully delete those things is, is very unfair. It's, it's four months in. Mm hmm. It's also, this problem I think is going to get bigger and bigger. Like this is like kind of like an old fashion thing about like, you still have stuff of your ex from the early 2000s that now just like, even the idea of having 30,000 photos, that's like, now we take them more and we post them more. And this is only going to get like a bigger thing. We're just going to have bigger data logs of stuff. Like, and it's just, it's just going to be hard. That's, that's a lot of photos. And it's also, I keep thinking about it because sometimes you guys have the, on the iPhone, they have the featured photos, you'll turn to the left and like, and you'll be like, punched by a picture of you in your acts like on a day. And you're like, whoa, I didn't click on that. And it's just you like scrolling to the left. And I've heard people talk about that. And it's a feature. I think there's going to be some kind of app or something or you're going to be able to call Steve Jobs. May you rest in peace and go delete all the pictures. Get out the Ouija board. If these seem like do all the shit they're doing, they're going to figure out a way, but it is a lot of work. And there's also so much more to this. It's just that he's threatened it's out. Yeah. And it's control. But it is an interesting new issue. Yeah. Right of like, oh, your Instagram, all your social handles and all the photos on your phone. How you go about that is very complicated. But at the end of the day, too, it's like, it's a matter of trust. It's like, what are you asking for here? Yeah. And him being like, well, don't you go back to him. It's just kind of like, all right, man, you blew it. You're blowing it. Why don't you go back to him? Yeah, it's like because this is also photos like it's her whole entire high school experience. Yeah. Like to delete a bunch of memories from high school. It's also I know their problem is there like only 22 23. But I'm like, it's it was high school. Like, I don't know. It's also just like kind of so immature to like get upset when anyone has X's at all. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was a thing. They existed. Yeah. And it's like, and it's like your life is so much bigger than like, you know, the person that you're dating. It's like, yes, this is like, this is the person that you're with. But your life was so much more than that at that time. And it's like those, those pictures of you and your X can be like, it's like, it might not be about the X. It might be about like, oh, this is a trip that we took together. And I like really remember like, you know, going out of the country for the first time things like that, where it's like, it's all like a beautiful turtle. Don't make me delete the turtle. Yeah. It's like, you're, you're asking them to delete so much more than just like, oh, this person in their life. I think it goes back to what we were talking about earlier is like, yeah, he's talking about a feeling jealous and stuff. It's like, you can talk to your girlfriend about that. You can just be like, oh, he like, I feel I feel insecure and stuff. Like, you know, like, because your X like, you know, he was part of your life for so long and stuff. And she'd probably like, you have nothing to worry about. That's so true. There's like such something so human that's like, I feel this kind of way, but I'm going to make it about something else really hard because saying that I'm just jealous, threatened or insecure is going to be so much worse than just hiding behind these photos. And it's not going to end there. Like, she could delete all the photos and something else is going to come up that's going to jog up his jealousy and fear of insecure, because insecurity is just there. So the verdict was asshole, obviously, comments. You're the asshole. She is right. You're emotionally insecure. Someone said, you're the asshole and deeply insecure, immature and controlling. Your girlfriend isn't obligated to erase years of photos from before you met because of your crippling insecurity. Grow up. You're the asshole. She showed you a group shot that happens to have her ex in it, asking her not to show you those pictures because they make you jealous as fair, but expecting her to scrub four years worth of pictures when you've known her for four months is a stretch. Update. Update. Do you think he fixes this or do you think he keeps going double? I think he doubled down. All right. I want to believe that he that he got better. I want to believe that. I want to believe that he fixed it. Okay. Let's see. Update the next day. These are fresh updates out of the oven. Fresh. I texted her this morning and I apologize for crossing a line. She said while she accepted the apology, the relationship wouldn't be continuing any further. She said a lack of self-awareness and emotional maturity is not something she can overlook when dating someone. So I guess I'm single now. Update number two from this year. And how long goes the one? 2023. This is three years later. Oh, wait. Okay. Oh, my God. Okay. What? Wait. Don't. That's not fair. You're reading it before us. You can do it. But just read it. Read it. Read it. Hi, all. This is actually my post. Mind you, this is three years later. So surprise. First of all, it was fake. Sorry. I know that sucks. I'm actually a woman. And that post was made during my last year as a journalism undergraduate. It was part of a capstone project where we determined how easily it is to mislead people on the internet and to induce public outrage and how the that influences far right and far left media pushing under the moderation of our professor, we each concocted stories or social media profiles to try and stir up controversy online. Thanks to the original post, safe to say I got an A. I also graduated with honors and with a special distinction for my thesis. The girlfriend was vaguely based on myself except I have a kidney transplant and not a heart condition. And I exaggerated how well known I was on campus and my looks in intelligence for sympathy, of course. And who doesn't play up themselves in a fictional world? I played D&D since then I've been since then I've been a fairly successful journalist. I've worked for both NPR and the Washington Post. I recently left my career behind though and I'm now in law school studying international law. I can't believe this post is making rounds again and I debated keeping the story as is. But too many of you all were DMing me the story. For future reference, some of you are far too goalable. Don't believe everything you read on the internet. That's how we got into this crazy situation we're in here in the U.S. Well, he just reads it and I believe it. Okay. Yeah. So I'm not I didn't know it's my job to believe it. He reads it. Okay. Blame him. Blame him. Blame the producer. Don't blame us. I read it online. I probably be like some journalist probably wrote this as a study. That's a story. It's pretty awesome. It's also. Yeah, it's true. Like every story we read on Reddit, I'm like, Dad, I mean, it's it's an anonymous story. I take them mostly as hypotheticals. This is sick as hell though. Pretty good. Yeah. Wait, I'm obsessed. Can we? Wait, someone send her this. Send O.P. this. Comment O.P. on the video. But it is very easy to lie online. It's important to remember. Yeah. I do it on the cell. Yeah. I feel like it's just a cold bunch. An internet cold bunch where you believe everything. You're like, wait, actually, no, I'm things fake. I think at this point, I'm not hit too hard by it. So I'm just like, yeah, probably a lot of more. No, sure. I just, I just love being like, hello, I'm sure. Yeah, I think it's a nice. I'm John Tionnes. This is what would you do? The novelty of coming back, like years later and being like, Hey, by the way, I like it. It is, yeah, it is also a little old to be like, like I know we deal with what is on the internet being fake or real constantly. So it isn't like a, you're right. Things can be fake because there's so much of it in our day to day. Even like the news. That's not that big of a surprise. It's just the way she did it. And she wrote this before AI fucking took it to a whole new level. Yeah. I also feel like it's a pretty mild story. Yeah. So I'm like, yeah, I don't have, this is such a real scenario. It's not like you wrote something that I'm like, I can't believe that happened. I'm like, your boyfriend was jealous they had photos of your ex and your phone. That's almost why I'm more surprised. I was like, this is one of the most believable like stories. Just like real stories. I think we could throw a penny in it with land on jealous boyfriend of a girl's phone camera. Yeah. I'm kind of like, I guess a part of me is also a little bit like what was your, like what was your argument in this in that like, oh, this is dangerous that I persuade people into thinking that boyfriends can be jealous. I'm like, I'm like, it's like, oh, actually, but so that story was fake. Mind you guys are never jealous. You're so right. Like if she made us believe something that we don't normally can get behind. Which does happen on the internet. And that is a very real thing. Yeah. I think the thesis is true in that we should doubt everything we see on the internet nowadays. But, but how, how about, you know, a fictional story that's causing us to look inside of ourselves and confront the issues that we have in our own security. That sounds like storytelling. I think I read these in that kind of material, right? You know, because I was devastated when I found out Percy Jackson wasn't real. Yeah. That was really fucked up. When I found out my pen and school, why isn't it a sword white? When I found out the Hunger Games wasn't real. I read that and I was like, can you believe what they're doing? Oh my god. When am I going to have to go? When I found out she's university wasn't a thing. I mean, my god. Can I say though, there's an added layer to this, too. And I think it's true for the internet of like it. it is important to doubt everything. I say that hosting this show, right? Like, be entertained by the internet, but do not take life advice because you might go, you might go to Reddit and write a story asking for advice about your relationship or something and keep in mind that you might be getting marriage advice from a 12 year old. - It's like, you just do not know commenting. You don't know who's on the line. - Who's that 12 year old we need her on the show? - Like, just don't know what the fuck is like because it's anonymous. - Okay, this is what I was gonna say. What goes on in your guys' brain when you're reading these, do you picture, like, are you picturing the people? - Yeah, I picture them as Pixar characters. Like, super soft. - Whoa. - Kind of. Like, like, like, like the dad, I was picturing him like, quintessentially like the dad and inside out. - Wow. - Like, I'm not like really thinking in realism a lot with these, 'cause it's just kind of bonkers. - I don't think I'm picturing people. I feel like maybe in my head, I'm like, well, yeah, now you're making me think. - I know. Think about how you listen. - I know, no. - Just think about that. - You know, and it's funny that this is interesting, and now that you made me think the first story that we read about the dad, what did you think he looked like? - You know, it's not actually about what the dad looked like, but it's weird that my head, when I imagined them like going up to the house, it was my house for my childhood. - I was like picturing, I was like, when I had to picture a suburban family house, I like my, I went to my house for my childhood. - There you go. - I don't know what that means. - Brings are crazy. - Brings are crazy. When I found out some people do not think in images and can't think in images, I was blown away by that. - Yeah. - See, any time I hear something like that, I'm like, what do you mean? Because I cannot form images in their head. - See, but I don't know if I can form images in my head, because I don't know what that means to you. - When you close your eyes, can you see a red apple in front of you? - Like, am I seeing, like, as if there's a TV screen here, and there's an apple? - There's a, you can picture a red apple. - There's another one that we might cut. - Boops. - Yeah, picture boops. - You see it. - No, I can only describe boops in my head. I can only see the word boops. - I can only see one pair of boops. - Our final story, mysterious vibrating in my bedroom. - Ben there. - Okay. - It's not gonna suck itself. - This was posted on RBI, Reddit Bureau of Investigation, a subreddit where people use the power of the internet to solve real world problems. - Now, I'm right here. - I'm peeked my enjoying it. - What's in my ass? - I don't know. - I was investigating the mail g-spot. - That's crazy, you guys. - It was really dark here, and I don't know what I put up my ass. - You've been reading Reddit all day. - You didn't make your day with that one? (laughing) - All right. - I'm not going crazy, but there's a vibrating in my room that I hear from time to time, and it's making me paranoid. I live alone, no one else lives with me, but my dog. The buzz I hear sporadically sounds exactly like my iPhone, just a quick short vibration about a half a second. It's not my iPhone. As I hear it when I'm actively using my phone, and it's not my phone, it's not regular. It doesn't happen in intervals. It's completely random. Sometimes I hear it often, sometimes days go by. It's too quiet to hear when I'm watching TV, almost always when there's no other sound. Sometimes it sounds like it's coming from under my bed, sometimes it sounds like it's coming from the ceiling. I can't for the life of me figure out what it is. I live pretty basic, I have a light mounted on the ceiling, carbon monoxide detector, and an iPhone charger in my room. That's all the electric things in my room. Could it be coming from inside the drywall, plumbing maybe? I'm not crazy, this is a real sound, but it happens so infrequently I can't pinpoint it at all. Okay, what do we think it is? Vibrating, it's kind of different parts of the room. I, in my apartment, heard buzzing, and I thought it was a phantom methane air up texts before, but I have upstairs neighbors, and I don't know. I've always been like, oh, it sounds like a buzz. There's so much shit going on, it's the Wi-Fi, I don't fucking know. I've been going through this, actually, in the last couple weeks, because I've been hearing this sound that's a little pretty sound, and I don't know what it was, and it's one of those things that I just can't be asked to get up off the couch and try and figure out what it is. But then I asked Raven, and I was like, is that your computer? And she's like, oh, I've heard that, and she's like, I thought it was your computer. And I'm like, if you're sitting in your office, and it's not coming from your computer, I don't know where it's coming from. And it's kind of been driving me crazy, but also in a way that I'm like, I don't know. God, it's going on, we're so cooked. We're all here and sound, so we don't know what's going on. We don't know what the fuck it is. We know what it is, and it's like, we don't know what these things are. These things are behind us for me to figure it out, man. Okay, so someone commented, you say you live alone, but are you in a single family home or in an apartment? Yeah. My old apartment had some pretty thick walls, but the floor and ceilings were not. I could hear and possibly feel my upstairs and downstairs neighbors, phones vibrate, mostly upstairs because I think it was on a table, so the vibration amplified through my ceiling. You don't live in an apartment, I don't know. Oh, he said, one bedroom house. Whoa. That makes me think like it's ventilation or plumbing. Oh, yeah. Or only thing or a rat, like a big fat rat with an iPhone. Or a rat, I feel like a rat getting so many emails. Like, you know how like your AC unit cycles, it starts up. Like, it could be something where like, you know, it rustles on and there's like a little vibrating as well. So I don't know, maybe one of my devices is listening. Maybe it's the government. I don't know. You know, everything's listening to everything. Yeah, I mean, that's kind of true. I'm not going to doubt that. Like, I can go, hey, Alexa. Anybody's gonna, I'm gonna keep going. Well, a lot of listeners just got pissed off. Yeah, Google, Google. It's not going to suck itself. Fuck. Sorry. Someone said, oh, God, this would bother me so much. Maybe the CEO detector, maybe a fan or some electrical buzz coming from the light, maybe something with the water heater or Wi-Fi modem router. What other rooms are butted up with the bedroom? Start taking note of the times of day you hear it most often. Obviously, I would guess it's mostly at night when you're in bed as that's the quietest time you're in your room. But see if there are other times you notice it. Note what other things are or aren't happening in the house that should narrow it down. At least a little. Well, he said, that's a good idea to keep a log. See if the times match up or if there's a pattern. We'll do that. Someone said, just to add a sense of panic, let's mention that there's phantom vibration syndrome. That's what I was thinking. We're all buzzing all the time. Like, who the fuck knows? Oh, he said, oh, I've had phantom phone ringing for years. I've always had that. This isn't physical, it's auditory. I hear it buzzing. Oh, sorry. So phantom vibration syndrome is a real thing. According to Wikipedia, phantom vibration syndrome or phantom ringing syndrome is the perception that one's mobile phone is vibrating or ringing when it's not. PBS is technically a hallucination because your brain is perceiving something that isn't actually happening. So is that because that happens to me all the time. Because that's how what we are seeing and hearing and everything is not actually what's in front of us. It's what our brain is interpreting. So it makes sense that if a motion or something, your brain is so used to phone vibration that it's like, that's what that is. So it makes you feel that. And I'm used to that sound. I'm used to that feel. I'm like used to it on my couch and like feeling it. And especially when I'm expecting calls and it's during the day, I'm like always being and like, I check it, nothing changed. Okay. So don't worry guys. I like, I get like, I'm getting calls and texts. I swear. Sometimes I look and I think it's always getting long. And it's like, that's probably why I have it because it's like, I'm just always getting that. So I'm like, surely I'm getting a text right now because I'm always just like, hit up, hit up. Update. Okay. 1.5 years later. Why? Took 1 1/2 years to figure it out. Damn. Any last guesses? Alien. Could be. Could be. Alien. You look all hop on the alien train. I'll go with, I'm going to go with some weirds in the walls. A drone. Drone. Drone. Okay. I'm about to read it. Yeah. That's usually how that goes, yeah. Well, I didn't get your last guesses. Okay, thank you, thank you. Posted about a strange buzzing in my house over a year ago and I never was able to figure out what it was. I heard it so infrequently and irregularly that it was almost impossible to figure out what it was. Every time I'd hear it, I'd immediately stop what I was doing and go real silent waiting with baited breath, hoping it would buzz again. Almost like a cruel joke. It would only buzz after I gave up waiting and went back to whatever it was I was doing. Even up to last week, I'd still hear it. Sometimes multiple times a day. Sometimes weeks would go by without hearing it. I'm pretty sure I figured it out and it's comically stupid what it was. So I was sleeping in the middle of the night like 3 a.m. and I woke up and was in a semi-sleep days kind of drifting. The world was real quiet and it was a deep silence and I heard the buzz. But for the first time, it almost immediately repeated and kept repeating in frequency, almost like a rhythm. I was 100% sure it was my phone ringing on vibrates so I started groping around the bed to find my phone because the buzzing sounded exactly like my phone buzzing every two seconds for about half a second. Once I found my phone, the buzzing continued. But I couldn't quite place where it was coming from. This is gonna sound crazy and I'm amazed this is the source, but eventually my alertness and physical movements woke my dog up and the buzzing immediately ceased with a grunt. The buzzing was my stupid shepherd's exhales. Like his every exhale or possible inhale, I'm not sure it was buzzing. Exactly emulating a cell phone buzz. - This happened to me like two days ago. - That's crazy. - This happened to me. I can't believe I didn't think of it. This happened to me two days ago. I was sitting, I was laying on the couch in my dog. I had my arm down and he laid napkin, had laid his head and his neck was resting on my arm. And then I kept feeling this buzzing and I was like, why is, I thought my phone was buzzing, but then it was on the armchair and I was like, what? And then I realized it was like his neck and the exhale. It was a journalist showing us that internet. - It was actually John Fionus. - It was sure it was John Fionus. - Napkin goes, they've been working for the club. - I've actually been seeing-- - I work at the club. - You cannot trust anything you hear vibrating. - Yeah, that's crazy. - That's crazy. It's happening. - Oh my god. - I'm decently confident that this is the same buzzing that I've been hearing for years, and also the reason that I've been unable to source it because every time I hear it, I'll get super alert and tense, which immediately wakes up my dog as he super attuned to my behavior and his breath buzzing stops. Then when I relax and give up the search, he goes back to sleep as the situation is over. That's when I hear it again, and he again wakes up to see what's got me agitated. I also only ever hear it during moments of calm when I'm lounging, never when I'm active and moving about the house. So this would make sense that it's only ever when my boy is sleeping. I'm pretty satisfied with this answer. And when I do hear it again, I'll be on the lookout to see if it's the dog knows next time as well. - It happened here, that's crazy. But it was like I felt the vibration on my arm, like I don't think I would have heard it. So I felt it, and I was like, what was that? And I was like, oh, that's so funny. 'Cause then every time you move, like your dog is gonna stop. - He was like, what's going on? - Yeah. - Let's get it. - What a prank. - Wow. - We lookin' for that buzz again. What's that buzz? We're lookin' for that. - He's like the dogs, the dogs are just like, what the fuck? - Yeah. - Yeah, the dogs are like, did you hear that dude? - Yeah, the dogs. - What was that? - I heard it, too. Where was it? - I fucking heard that dude. - Honestly, I bet it's the fucking cops. - Yeah. - Dude, something in the wall is man. You gotta bust up in the wall. Something's in the wall. - My cats' purrs are like too obvious. - Yeah. - But with cats, cats make you less anxious because they're unlike dogs, which I feel like are by your side a lot more. Cats are just all over the fucking place all the time. So you'll hear weird noises, and you're just like, that's probably my cat getting up to shenanigans. - And you're just used to weird noise. - It's like, yeah. - The only thing that wakes me up is I'm like, I'll hear something about, they're on the fucking counters. And I'm like, you bastard, it's like, I hear you. (laughing) Get off. They'll just hear them all. - They're on the fucking counters. - They're on the fucking counters again. Like, the funniest was there was one time. This was like a, we were living in a different apartment, and we had built these like shelves so that the cats could get up to above the kitchen. - Yes, I love those, yeah. - And bones was unable to hop up high enough, but one of the nights he tried, and we wake up to like a crash. We hear like a, and then I run out, and I just see bones in the middle of the floor just like his tail puff just kind of like, (laughing) and I was like, did you fall, hit the trash, can I then hit the crap? (laughing) 'Cause he was just so embarrassed, just kind of like, he's like, nah dude, that was someone else. - He was like, that wasn't that one. - It's like dude, there's a weird buzzing sound. It sounds like a cat's falling. - I don't know what that was. (laughing) - What's the threshold? I sometimes think about like, what's the threshold of weird noise you could hear before you could be like, is my place haunted? 'Cause I'll watch like ghost hunting shows, and they'll just be like in there silently, and they're here like the littlest noise, and be like, oh my God. I'm like, I feel like I'm always hearing noises. - I hear so much shit in this song. - Well, I make a lot of noise. It's why, okay, this, 'cause people know I'm a bit of a skeptic, right? Now I'm not saying I don't believe in those things. It's just that some people I'm like, if you want to believe in the things, that's what you're gonna hear 'cause we're talking about how our brains perceive things. So if you're telling yourself it's a ghost, I'm like, you're more likely to like make that pattern make sense to you. - Yeah. - You ready for this? I'm gonna wrap it all up in a bow. - Okay. - That same thing. - I'm so like, I'm thinking that. (laughing) - Kill. Kill. (laughing) Kill. - That's good. - Wow, it was the dog all along. - It was the dog all along. This time you can blame it on the dog. - And now you can. - Anyways, thank you both for being here for all these updates. - You're the best man. - Thank you guys. - Wow, you're the best. - You're the best. - You're the fucking best. - Guys, I love you guys. - This is awesome. - Yeah. - It's time for bed. - I love it. - All right. - Well guys, it's time for bed. I know for some of you it's 11.30 in the morning, but it's time for bed. Sorry, I'll make the rules. Thank you Trevor and Angela. And thank you all for watching. And hey, we'll see you next week. Update, we're having another show next week. - Update, another episode comes out. - Another episode. - Love you. - Bye.