Did You Talk to the Trees?

This is Ansel doing a podcast. We're two queer Latinx festies navigating academia and trying to stay sane in the process. We talk about identity, relationships, astrology and mental health. Join us as we figure out how to stay on top of our lives, our horoscopes and our own self-work in these boarded lands. [Music] Hey, friend! That was different. Hi, friend. It's been a while, okay, friend. It was happening for a quick second. Hi, friends. Hey, friend. How are you? I came back to me. You know, just existing still here on this in this dumpster fire and this, you know, in this year of our Lord 2026. Yeah, it's like a apocalypse year five at this point. Still here somehow, some way. Not that I'm not grateful, but I'm just, I have questions. Yeah, a lot of concerns. Yes, questions. How did we get here? I mean, we know how we got here. I know. Yeah, we wouldn't say it has been here, but it's like, those memes that circulate all the time right now that are like students in history will not be surprised. And I'm like, try having a PhD in that next studies. It's a really torturous time. Yeah. It's all we learned. Literally the same tactics. The way that a lot of these concepts have not evolved, the conversations around immigration are still very much in years ago, 15 years anyway. I'm okay. I'm gonna jump right into it, but I'm teaching the trans studies class right now. And you're in the trans. Yeah, we just went through some like chance history, right? Like, I think we were reading something that was published in 2008 or something. And it's like time on all the progress that we've made and how it's Susan Shrecker's book on like, "Chancellor History." I'm reading the chapter on, I think it's the Transliferation chapter, but one of the chapters and it's going into like, like the students put up a quote, facilitated, right? So the quote that they chose to do a close reading on was just talk like more of their closing thing that that kind of summarized like how the 60s really this time, right? Where there was a lot of uprisings. Usually we think about Stonewall as the beginning of Gay Liberation, right? But in that chapter she's looking at how these all these uprisings had happened in LA and somewhere in the Northeast in Compton's cafeteria, right? And so Francisco. And she's like talking about how the 60s was this really, you know, this time where there was a lot of struggle and there was a lot of violence and, you know, marginalization, and etc. And it's like, yeah, and look at where we're at now. Very much so. Anti-trans policy here. Anti-trans policy there. Kidnapping all my people. You know, so it's, I was sharing with them like when I was a young queer, this is, I've always noticed stuff the books for that. I'm just messing with it. I'm like, I thought things were getting better, right? But it's very jarring to be here. Where we are as a, as a, as a people. It is, it is. I also think it's like, I mean, you know, I always tell you you're doing the Lord's work teaching. But it's so important to just remember that, you know, we have a legacy that we're accountable to that there have been many communities, especially the queer community, the annex community and even within that, those intersectional movements where people have been dealing with like fighting on multiple fronts all the time, you know. And who's always at the front? Trans people of color. Yes. Yes. And the trans women. Trans women. Yes. It's really, it's really, this is a black trans woman though. That's right. Yeah. I've spoken to many people about this. That's right. Yeah. That's like that. Did you hear? So, Jack and I were just talking about how our feet are very different. But there's a painting that recently got taken or they tried to take it out of a show from the Amy Sheryls with that the lady about my portrait. I very fanically that everyone hated because it was like different. The one that's at the, at the African-American Museum in DC. It's at this, the National Portrait Gallery, I think. Oh, good. But yes, she's wearing like this beautiful flowing dress. Yes. And it's kind of like a, it's like a little side profile, like a little shoulder moment. But this same artist had a show that was coming to, I believe one of the museums in DC. I forget which one. And it's probably better that I don't remember. And she took her show from there and took it to Baltimore where she had more freedom because unfortunately they were asking her to consider removing this painting and her show that was basically a painting of the Statue of Liberty as a Black Transwoman. She based the painting Black Transwoman that she knew that that's after the portrait. And you know, they raised some content questions for her during the planning process and she didn't like that. And I think you know, she made a stand on behalf of her work. Very like admirable. And she found a new place for the show. But I maybe think of that painting by Amy Sherult that is really powerful. Wow. You know, that's I'm really glad that she made that heart. Yeah. Not surprised. I mean, it is, it is surprising too because I often like forget that not that people just like live in different planets in terms of our politics and just like what is just makes sense to us. You know, I mean, yeah. And it's like, you know, artists are, I believe at least and we said all views are our own in the last episode. But artists are here to keep us honest. You know, they're here to keep us responsible, accountable and in some ways an artist job is to reflect the times as Nina Simone said. So, you know, in these really crazy times, especially, I think it's even more important for artists to reflect what they see. And you know, as a Black woman, contemporary Black artists, who does like her whole thing is portraiture of Black community. And that's what she stands for. And she stood by the values that her paintings about. So really happy for her. And I think it is not in the end. But yeah, it reminded me of that. And like, how a trans woman as a statue of liberty is a really iconic but also difficult image for some, not for me. Not for me. Not for me. In fact, it's for me. It's like, yeah, I mean, this is where our culture comes from, right? Like, we're always taking from Black culture, queer culture, trans culture. And it's like, you know, if we would just be honest about ourselves and, you know, yeah, it's just, it's, it's, I was going to say, like, where are we, right? It's like February of 2026. We've now been in this here administration for the second time. And now in this, in this term, a year and some change. Right? Has it really been that? Yeah. Yeah. Gosh. This inauguration was last year, on the 20th, January 20th. So it's been a year. And then a few days, weeks. And yeah, ice is, you know, terrifying our communities, kidnapping our communities. And that's everywhere, you know, like, nowhere is safe, not even in California, in LA. The places where you usually think of being these sanctuary cities, right, or these cities that are claimed to be sanctuary, but it's nowhere safe right now. And just like we know, even those things don't mean or guarantee safety, right? So it's like we're being terrorized. That's the word. Yeah. Communities are being terrorized. People are being kidnapped. It's like this culture of fear that's being created where people are afraid. Not just those who are vulnerable that are staying in place or not going outside, but it's people being fearful to act because of fear of their life. And I'm thinking about the folks who've been killed by ice. These past few months, especially, I know that we've heard about Alex Pretty. We've heard about Robin Good. And these are two-- Really good. Over and in good, sorry. And these are two individuals that are part of a larger list. Unfortunately, they're the ones we've heard about, because I think race is still very much front of mind and influences so much of what we think in this country. And then being white helped amplify what happened to them in a different way. And the way that they died, right? It was recorded as well. So it's just really sad. I think I feel a sense of like, wow, things are really bad right now. People are afraid. And it feels really silly to say this now, but it's like when we have to hold on to each other even tighter, when we have to really make community. And it may seem frivolous to like, gather right now or be with each other, but that's really what's going to be the antidote-- action is the antidote to this moment. And just really like trying to be a good neighbor goes a long way right now. And yeah, it's been really, really hard, especially here now, really. Everywhere in Minneapolis, the Twin Cities is really going through it. I mean, a lot of places across the country were just all experiencing it differently. And the way children are also being taken away and put into tension. And I was trying to find it, but I couldn't find the place. But I just saw the statistic that like over around 3,800 children have been taken into custody. 3,100? Yeah. So it's like really heavy, but also, right? Like again, because of our training and what we've been exposed to, we know that this isn't new, right? Obama was also placing kids and families in detention centers. Highest and worthy portations before our training. Exactly. We know about-- I mean, historically, Japanese internment, we know about the Indian boarding schools, right? Where native children were taken from their parents to civilize them. And so it's just one slide knowing your history. So I'm poor at it. But it's also like-- yeah, it's understandable to how a lot of people are not OK right now, because shit is not OK. Yeah. Shit is not OK. It's just another level of like bombardment to right with inflation. At every angle, being attacked, you know? And the wealthy are getting wealthier. And-- Yeah. On many fronts, it's happening in culture. It's happening in actual, you know, enforcement. It's happening in workplaces. And I don't say this to create panic or fear or to sound paranoid. But I think it's more like-- no, like, it's happening on so many multiple fronts at a speed, because of how connected we are to media right now, and information that we don't have the-- at least I can really speak for myself. It's hard to process all the information that we're getting for more these multiple fronts. And then we're expected to work. That's another thing. It's like one of the reasons why I'm here sitting with you recording and making a record of this. Like a little record is because I want people to know that we're being expected to function somehow in the middle of this. And what does it mean to try to have empathy while this is happening and still have to-- because I don't have the money in my life right now to process this and take my time in a habit job. Great. A lot of us don't have the luxury to not show up to work right now to really process what's happening. So it's like I want people to know that I'm not OK. That for some of us, this isn't just the news. This is actually affecting our community. That's amazing. Exactly. It's making me wonder, so many things, especially as someone-- I'm an immigrant myself. Like I came when I was younger and I'm formerly undocumented. And I'm very open about that. I think sharing that information right now feels really fraught. But it's important for people to know that we're trying to function. And also we're fearing for not just people that we see on the news, but for people that we know and love. And this is really real for many people. It's not just the news. So shout out to the folks that are putting their bodies on the line and becoming legal observers and doing ice watch around their neighborhoods. This work may not feel-- it matters, but it makes other people feel so much safer. Who can assert-- Rapid risk. Yeah, all the rapid response and networks and stuff, all of it. And as well as telling my students to the right, we all think activism doesn't have to just look one way to-- Oh, no, yeah. There's so many different ways we can contribute to the change. They can be gel support. They can make meals for people who are unable to care for themselves right now because they're doing the work. Or there's so many ways to show up for other people. And I think as we get older, I'm starting to realize, like, oh, this is how you show up. You find ways to donate. You find ways to be of service. It doesn't necessarily have to look like you holding a sign in the middle of downtown. It can be a protest if you want. But it's so much more than that. And it's about your every day. Like, how are you making sure that every element of your lifestyle is supporting liberation for other people? All the way. And yeah, I mean, some of us-- our jobs do some of that for us, which is nice. Like, you're educating folks about their own history. You're creating opportunities for young people to have critical thinking, which is very cool. And we need more of that right now. I like to think I'm also helping in the arts and culture sector. I found this-- Yeah. I posted this the other day, but I just found it. I really like this thing. It's like a social change map. The person who posted is Deepa Eyre. But anyway, basically, she says, like, people have been in theapolis and across the country organizing to support vulnerable communities in this moment. As people who are quality and around emergency response have reached out to ask how the social change ecosystem roles can support coordination right now. So she created this social change ecosystem, kind of little map. And so she's like, yeah, we-- So there's people-- it doesn't look just one way of how we can show up and how we can contribute to all these different efforts. So it's like, there's people who are the weavers. They see the through line of the connectivity between people, places, organizers, ideas, movements. There's the frontline responders. There's the builders, the people who are doing the developing, organizing, implementing ideas. There's the caregivers, nurturing and nurturing the people. There's healers, disruptors, storytellers, guides, experimenters. There's just so many ways to show up. But I really appreciate it this map. I'm like, actually, I should show this a class. Clearly, I'm deep in the quarter, everybody. Yeah, one week or one, what I do. What week is it in quarter? It's week six. It's week six. You are. And it's a weekday, too. And so it's heavy on the mind. I came from campus. But yeah, and I was just teaching on trans liberation. - That's awesome. - Yeah, that can be really helpful, especially for young people who might be feeling really helpless right now in this moment and not understanding that their role doesn't have to look like can't really anybody else's worst day or else's thick skin. - Yeah, yeah, exactly. And it's like, I think also because of social media, right? We have this idea that like, you have to have all these followers or you have to have something like, you have to be, you know, there's like, in any kind of movement, there's always like a front runner or person or there's a person that's placed at the front, right? Interpretty. - Yeah. - Being the image of that movement and it's like, yeah, there's just, even that person or those people, right? We still made up a larger constellation of organizers than people who are contributing to the movement or whatever. - 100%. I mean, I love quoting Dr. Gait Teresa Johnson when she talks about how social movements have constellations of struggle. So the struggle happens in these constellations, these clusters of stars all across the sky. We think about it that way. You know, there's folks like resisting through music, like think about bad bunny and what it means to see - That bunny. - The Grammy. (laughing) Like the Grammys were a great example of how he used his voice in a really important key moment to let people know that he was in solidarity and that's really powerful. Like, he can do that, right? He has sort of like these opportunities to speak up and I'm curious about Sunday and what he's gonna do. - Yeah, yeah. I'm like, you know, fuck the Super Bowl and fuck the NFL. But also like, you know, I'm glad that they didn't drop him with the pushback that they received and that he's received from quite-- - How's Karen and I think about that, yeah. That's not that the contract was so solid. They couldn't drop him if they wanted to. - Sure, I'm sure, I'm sure they could. I'm sure they could, you know, at the discretion of the president or whatever the flood, whatever, right? Like, I'm sure, I'm sure. But for whatever reason, I mean, I don't know, in my mind, I'm just like, there's always been the Latino market that is the biggest market in the United States. - Well, our purchasing power is wild. - Like, yes. - So I'm like, why the fuck would they drop? - But I don't know, maybe I'm being naive, right? (laughs) But, but yeah. - Yeah, we're talking about, 'cause I, you know, we were talking about the Benito ball. - That's what I'm calling it. I'm just calling, 'cause I'll be honest with you all and this will not surprise any listener. I don't know what happens. When football's going on, my partner has been bow, grew up in the Midwest with like, that sport. I grew up with like-- - That sport. - That sport, you know, I grew up with the other football. And I can follow a soccer game pretty easily 'cause it makes more sense. Football, I'm sorry. I don't understand why there's numbers on the ground. I don't understand why they're running and like, going back. And like, it's almost like, It feels like to make one play. You have 10 minutes for 15 minutes of prep and it's just like, it's too much. So I don't get it. And I'm a hater. I don't even know who's playing on Sunday. But kind of get the game. But I also am just like, I think, I don't know when growing up, like, nobody in my house or my family gave a fuck about football because because, you know, we're not from the Midwest or East Coast. - Right. - Unless we have the Dodgers, right? You have the Dodgers growing up. That was like your team, Must be in. - Yeah, I mean, I grew up watching basketball and baseball, yeah. So like, those are the two big things that are the main sports that we were in inside. Like, we never got into football. - Well, a lot of people like you who are not into it are gonna tune in a Sunday. And they're tuning in for a bonito. Let's be real. - Yeah, I'm tuning in for a bonito, you know? - 100%. - 100%. - And I've only ever, I've mostly ever tuned in because of the Super Bowl performance. - Yeah, it's a concert that happens in the middle. - Fiancé's performance, what was it like, probably more than 10 years ago, iconic? I mean, her use of the screen and the aerial shot to do the choreography, still on my hand. I think about prints. There's so many, like, I mean, we can't think about the Super Bowl without thinking about Janet Jackson. - Wow. - Wow. - Her nipple. - Her nipple. - Outscancer. - I'm so mad about that even to this day. - Yeah. - Like, how the fuck did Justin and CBS and the NFL and everybody? - That is just the reason I do believe. - They don't wear be no wearing no clothes on that stage, which I have no problem with. - Have a problem with them when it happens to Janet. - When it happens to Janet, I was the most ecstatic child. I don't know how old I can't remember how old I was, but I was like, this is my lesbian dream. - Yeah, you were weird. - Her whole titty came out. - I really did. - I found out it was without her consent and all of that. - Oh, yeah. - It was, it was not, that was not the plan or there was whatever the fucking malfunction. But no, it was just intubulate, bitch ass. - Yeah. - Or maybe they were supposed to do it, but. - I know. - And that's a deep cut for the podcast too, you know, going back to your chair. (laughs) - Y'all gotta go way back to know what that means. - Yeah. - But yeah, like I feel like it's such an important stage and I'm rooting for Benito. Am I a huge bad buddy fan, not really? But that's just because I like sad British men music. And that's my own cross to bear. - I love Benito. - Yeah, he's awesome. I saw him at Coachella. - I mean, I'm not like a super fan or anything so I won't claim that, but. I'm fan enough that I paid for VIP tickets to go to Coachella to see him. - I'm rooting for everybody brown and black, honestly, whoever has a POC out here making these white people to an end and scratch their heads about what's going on. I'm in it. I'm in it. So happy rooting for him. I hope he breaks a leg. - You know, I do speaking of Benito and thinking about the moment that we're in. And when he went up and won his first Grammy, I was like, "Boo, why do you try to speak English?" Like you're struggling, not because like, in the sense that I'm like, just speaks Spanish, fuck everybody else, you know? 'Cause he was like, "Yeah, they'll translate it." You know? - That's a big figure. - And then when he went up the second time, he spoke mostly in Spanish and I was like, "Fuck yeah, like, yes, exactly. Like don't translate for these motherfuckers." But anyway, it reminds me of our home girl on San Dua the reason that we're all here. So I just wanted to read this quote really quick, you know? 'Cause we're just bobbing and weaving. Here we are. So I just want to read this quote from Gloria San Dua. That says, "Until I'm free to write my lingually and to switch codes without having always to translate, well, I still have to speak English or Spanish when I would rather speak Spanish. And as long as I have to accommodate the English speakers, rather than having them accommodate me, my tongue will be illegitimate. I will no longer be made to feel ashamed of existing. Da, da, da, da, da. I will overcome the tradition of silence. And so it was just like, just like, yeah, I love this for us. I love, again, fuck the NFL. But, you know, and this is all fucking capitalism anyway, right? - Yeah, that's right. - But I love that he's, you know, he's the performer and that he's gonna do his thing. And that, you know, we're just using another colonizer's language to fuck with this colonizer. (laughing) - It meant to that we're rooting for him, hoping everything goes well. And then another culture thing that's keeping me from, you know, being super depressed right now, that's keeping us bonded. 'Cause I don't feel like people realize, we don't really have a lot in common as far as we watch and do. Like, we're really different, you know? And rarely do we find a TV show that we both watch and love. - I mean, you love that, I mean, stuff, right? - Yeah, I do. - Why do you say like that? - I'm like, you're one of those people. I don't, I'm not into that. - That's almost re-rogued for you, but I'll let it slide. - I know, 'cause people are gonna come for me because I know everybody's in the anime. - I'll just fuck you, I'm out of one now, you know? 'Cause I'm also-- - Wow. - Right? But-- - Just not a second. My nerd community, yeah, just not that. - You know, I don't want 10 of me that much anymore, but I'm trying to get back into it. I grew up reading manga, which is the comic books that a lot of enemies are based on, not all. Some of them are original. But no, I went to your place recently and you got me onto the show called Traders, which is on, is it NBC? The Olympics channel. - I don't know, 'cause I think it's on Paramount Plus. - Okay, what that is. - I don't know what the fuck I was wondering. - We ain't getting paid so we don't need to know. - No, but if they would like to let us know, we'll read the contract first. This show is like, how would you describe it? I mean, I'm sure people know. - Did you say what the show was? - Yeah, Traders. It's like a game of mafia or like clue, but with reality TV people? - Yeah, this version of it, I think in the UK, they have like regular folks or like non-silebrities. And then I think the next season of the US one is gonna be like non-silebrities. - Oh, I didn't know that. - But the US franchise, I think it's four seasons now, four? - Yes. - And it's been just like celebrities, mostly from reality TV, not only, but mostly, but yeah, I mean, though, the, I've, like, we've played this game before with our homegirl Sylvia. I think what does she call it? Like wolves, the wolves game or like? - We played the the colonized version. - A village. - A village, I don't know. - I've never played that. - It's, there's a colonized version of mafia. It's something wolf. There's people are wolves and then villagers and where. - Yeah. - Yeah, like we've played it before. I know the game, but this is like the end level, right? This is like playing it on super high stakes with like lots of different games in between and drama. And these people are already like super dramatic. So it makes for really good TV. So I will say like, even though it's like a small inconvenience, they make it look like it's the worst thing in the world. And it's really funny. - Yeah. - But I couldn't. - In the traders, it's like, there's the faithfuls and then there's the traders, but everybody's acting like faithfuls, but then the traders are killing people. And so people leave every night or at least one person is killed about every night or so. And then you have to guess who like the traders are, right? And then, but when you, it's not just guessing, right? But then you're claiming that that person is a trader. And if they're not, then I mean, either way, the person goes home, but then if they're a faithful, you're sending the faithful home. - Exactly. - That's the gist of it. But I hadn't watched any other season before, but I started watching this season because I kind of was curious last season because I was really, I really liked Gabby because I had seen her when she was on the bachelor and she was one of the winners from last year. - Oh, right. - And there was some, and like Bob, the drag queen was on their last season. - Also, I had another drag queen, so I was wondering. - Yeah, yeah, I think Bob the drag queen was the first. And he was, can I just say, you should, you should go back and watch that 'cause I know you love Bob the drag queen. - I knew it. - And I was so annoyed with them and they made me so mad and they were being so annoying. And then they got booted really fast. - Oh, really? - And I really wish they would have had stayed there the whole time. - I feel like I would have expected them to stay longer. - Me too. - Okay, okay, I'll go watch. - Anyway, that's season three, season four, which we're currently watching is, I mean, I don't know. It seems less chaotic than season three for sure. But there's people-- - There's still a way to reach out. - 'Cause I'm like, you're so crazy. - Yeah, I mean, yes, they are. And I can't stand certain people, especially Colton, they can't stand to me at all. - Yeah, there's a lot of, like, both spoilers ahead are aggressive people aren't watching. But I think for me what's been really interesting is like one, the dynamic between, like the spectrum of queerness is very wide. - There are a lot of queers on this season. - There are, and there's different types. There's like flaming, I'm thinking Johnny weird. (laughing) Like gay, super gay, but also figure skating gay. Like being a figure skater, like, listen, wearing a leotard and Chinese stones on it and bathe a little bit, that's a whole different level of gay. - Yes. - To compare it with, what's his name, Colton? - Colton. - He's like a former football player. - That's the worst gay white man. Who was straight most of his life. - Well, he was closeted and came out recently, or after the bachelor season that he was in. I learned also through just like, because I watched the show and then my feed, my phone heard me, was a stalker. - Yes, I think I was like, unfortunately, a history of assault and stalking. And I was like, well, that sucks, fuck. But there's other people, like, I don't watch low-violent, you are my reality TV friend. - Yes, yes. - And so I had a little idea, who these people were, the Rob. - Rob, but she was Rob. - You can surprise me. - No, more. - Oh, yeah, yeah, that's true, that's true. Yes, both of them, I love. I mean, Rob, I was annoyed with during his season. He was on the season that blue, like, Love Island blew up that season, which was like a year, like two years ago. But he was on that, like, Love Island, USA, that really, like, blew up, like, the ratings went crazy. And he was wild on that, on that, on Love Island. But I'm like, it makes sense that he is a traitor and how he's like, like, I'm not surprised by him. - You're not okay. - In the end, anyway, not by how good he is at it and neither by how much of a snake he is. - Well, I will let you know, this is a Virgo man. - Ah, that's right. - So maybe he gave recognized game. - I forget. - Do you want to explain that? - I'm looking to explain. He's perfect. I know that I know he's a Virgo. - That just sent me a video on, I don't even know him, sicker probably, and it was like, who's the kind of sign and it was this podcast and it was like Virgo is, what is it, not nice, but they're kind. And that's it. - I was like, that's interesting, but she starts off talking about Virgo's by being like, oh, they're the most critical ones. - Yeah, it was the Virgo with those. - Who's very the bus? - I'm like, the video, the little tagline was like Virgos are the kindest or whatever the fuck. So when she started off with being like describing what my wife would say is hypercritical. - Right, right. - And I agree with that. Like. - I do agree. Well, I see those qualities in Rob actually, like when I, because you know, be me, be who I am, immediately wanted to know the astrology signs of everybody on this cast. - Yeah. - And when I learned that Rob was a Virgo, I was like, oh, that's interesting, because I feel like he's super strategic. He kind of lets people, I think Virgos get a lot of stuff projected on them by other people, because Virgos come off more put together and more like organized, even if they're chaos on the inside. I do think that Rob is somebody who, he lets people think whatever they want about him. He doesn't really stress out about what we're talking about. - Is there to listen? - I'm like, I actually can relate a lot with that, actually. He kind of lets people, unless, which I love that word broke him at one of the round tables was that somebody was using a word incorrectly. It wasn't that they were saying things that were horrible they were, but it was that they were using this word incorrectly that really drove him off the wall. And that's a Virgo right there. - But I'm also like, but didn't he describe it incorrectly also? - No, I think he did, no, I don't think he didn't. Commissarate, let's look it up, but I'm pretty sure-- - I don't have a mind. - No, I'm, let's do it. (laughing) - No, I'm pretty sure Rob was right. - Oh no, he was right. - He was right, he was right. I don't think I knew what the definition of the word. - Yeah, I mean, to sympathize or express or feel sympathy or pity. - Yeah, because you're commissarating and something, you're with somebody's misery. - But yeah, he on-- - That makes sense. And I never knew that actually. So when he corrected everybody, (laughing) I'm fucking, yes, I don't know if this is a yes or a moment or just a moment. - But. (laughing) But you know, when he corrected people, I was like, this fool's dumb. Because I do think he's kind of dumb. But now I'm like, maybe not. Maybe he wants to think he's dumb. Yeah. And that's part of his game. I can't relate to this guy. Yes. I can relate to this guy. God damn it. You know who I relate to and traders. And I also have a snake tattooed on my arm. But go on. What do you really do? Do you relate to Johnny? No. To Tara Larkinsky. No. To Lisa fucking Redna. Actually a little, but not that much. I do love her though. She's a cancer. I'm pretty sure she's a cancer. I really, really took Rob. I mean, Ron. I don't-- For Ron. Just a small one. I really feel bad about him. You know the part. I hate the most about this for him. Is the back with Portia that he really hurt-- does she set the things that he said? Yes. Yeah. Like he was never lying. No. He was never deceitful. Like he literally hurt-- Like this girl said those things. But she just wasn't a tree on her. Yeah, I don't watch the housewives. But I know that those women just kind of say whatever comes to their mind. They're pretty like unfiltered. Yeah. I do think that Ron kind of like unfortunately-- I think it's a little bit of like people being biased with neurodivergence and blackness. That too. It's like the compounding racism, right? That intersects with mental health and neurodivergence. Because I think that Rob really liked him. And I appreciate that Rob was like, no, he's cool. I'm not going to vote against him. I don't think that he's a traitor. But what I love about Ron is that he wasn't trying to be friends with everybody. And I let fuck all of you. Let that be a lesson. The older I get, the more uncomfortable being not liked. And that's such a lesson. It's like, yeah. He left with his integrity. And did he leave too soon? Absolutely. But he didn't do anything that he wouldn't be proud of. And I'm like, yeah, you don't want to like contort yourself or other people. So I appreciate it the backbone, even if it cost him the game. But I was like, damn, they're just-- they're just being really mean to this poor autistic man. You know, he's just being himself. And like, he's introverted, I'm being. And I relate to that. I can misery-- [LAUGHTER] He put it out, Lord. He lives in people every day, you know? Yeah, that's the word of the day. But out of this show, it's what's keeping me looking forward to Thursdays. So happy traitors day. And so I'm not going forward to these days. Before we finish, though, I will say this girl is racist as fuck because all the black people got voted out. And Colton, particularly, the way he was coming for the woman-- was it Tiffany, the gamer? From Saga. I don't know if she was from Survivor, Big Brother. Oh, Big Brother. Yeah, Big Brother. But the way he was talking to her, I was like, you fucking-- it was like Massage Noir. Like, the U-Rasis fucking sexist, massage-n-estic mother fucker. Like, it was-- yeah. I know. And the fact that-- I can't believe-- Mom. Can we just talk about-- we didn't even talk about Monet. No, oh my god, yes, poor Monet. Why are the drag queens not doing good on this show? I feel like what's wrong with-- It's not me. It's because she mentioned Lisa's name, right? And then the center has home or something? Yes. But that's the thing. It's like, I don't know if I was in the-- if I was in the castle, I think I would be Ellen Cummings' dog, first of all. I probably wouldn't be a player. I want to be the dog. I would be that creepy guy with the beard. That tracks, yeah. The ground keeper? Yeah. You're only doing all the work. I do think that when you have a suspicion about someone, I would keep it real close to the chest. Yes. I don't know why they haven't learned that lesson. Yeah. You know? You say that shit in a van with other people. Do you think they're not going to talk to other people? I don't know. I just feel a little paranoid. But I think I would-- I hated that as soon as Monée said it, like it put a target on their back. Because I wanted to see what other outfits Monée brought. I know. The ball, the banquet was awesome. That was the jam jam being dragged out. Yeah. That was funny. I like everybody else's. Why didn't they say anything? I don't know. We don't know. Oh, it's a-- I don't think I was ready for Lisa to go home. Oh. Really? I mean, she was-- I was getting tired of her too in the sense that I was like, girl, you making it obvious. Like, in all the ways. They both talk with my helping, either. I mean, there's the feeling of super spirit. I always look super spirit. Yeah. Yeah. But I was just like, girl, you are ruining it for your-- I think that was the other thing. People-- they were coming for her no matter what, at that point. There had been too many things. But she was funny. Well, this show is also an important metaphor for what happens when people act on fear without any information. They make really bad port choices. And they're not thinking clearly. So-- Yeah. Sadly. Is there a player that you don't like or you don't care for? Golden. OK. Besides golden. Besides golden. No. See? So I despise him. But I don't think so. I kind of like everybody else. I like the little queer lions with like Kristen Kitch and Mark from Dancing With The Stars, which I don't know who that is. But I don't know if he's queer, but he's-- I'm here for whatever. He is going on with him. But-- He's giving out of these bisexual. You know? Yeah. He's giving Metro sexual a little bit. He's giving out that energy. Yeah. Definitely. The long hair. He's giving a little bit of that fem energy. I'll take it. He's also friends with teams with Kristen and other queer. So I'm just going to-- I think they will become friends. But let me pull up the cast. Because-- Yeah, my cast is about to be-- Oh, and Yammya is queer. And yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I think for me-- there's a couple people that I just feel are being really aggressive and loud. And I don't think that's super necessary. Well, yeah, I hated that guy. That guy who was being super annoying. That one. He got kicked off already. Michael was a Michael. Yeah, he was doing a lot. But yeah, it's a good show. I highly recommend we will do recaps here now, moving forward. Like, it's about to finish, but-- [LAUGHTER] But yeah, I really am enjoying it. I feel like I needed something to watch that would be a little escapism for me. So it's been really nice. Yeah. It'll be nice to watch a new episode that just came out. Yeah. And wait. Yeah. So what else? What else is keeping you here with us? I'm thinking-- I mean, my feet is mostly the sides traders, content, Bridgerton, of course, came out. Oh, yeah. I watched that already, too. What do we think about the Cinderella, Novela, Kate Rama? You know, it was kind of bored. It's kind of bored. It's the first part. Maybe it'll get juicier. I feel like it was slow. I mean, I'm here for-- I'm here for the love story, whatever. I'm really here for-- I'm here for the love story. I mean, it's whatever. I just-- it's moving slow. Very. Yeah. I'm like, this is very-- yeah, I'm just like, how many times-- this is the first story that I learned as a kid when I watched Maria Mercedes, you know? The Novela. Like, fuck Cinderella. I watched Maria Mercedes first, I think. I'm not too hard. [LAUGHTER] This-- yeah. So I was like, oh, this is going to be a Cinderella thing. OK. Yeah, it's like Maria Luada. That is, I guess, in a way. Yeah. So it's moving slow for me. But I do-- I am enjoying the moms tea time. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Did you watch our four-ampers' authority? Oh, I'm-- Yeah, I'm there with you. (laughs) Yeah. I think I've been to them in like a day and a half. I don't even think I had been that long. - We, you know, Anishin, I watched them in one night, which we were very naughty because it was a school night and it was, it was, we're at the age, I'm at the age now where I can't be staying up past my bedtime because it really fucks with me the next day. - I feel like I, I feel like in a way that like they end up with hangers and then you're like, "Oh, that one second's until the next one, "what's seven seconds?" And then you're, right. - And then it's in seven seconds and an hour. - So it works. - Yeah, but I also know, right? It's like a buildup, right, to the last four, but I'm like, where's the square, where is the queer storyline? Where is it? I know it's coming supposedly, but I would have liked it sooner because that means that it's, it, there's just, I would have thought this whole season would have had more queer stuff going on. - You would think that. I mean, - Which it did with what's his name? Like he was kissing that guy at the party, which I was like, "Oh, are we doing some heated rivalry stuff here?" - But. - Oh, we also talk about heated rivalry, which I haven't seen, but I've seen on the internet enough about, like I've seen it in 45 parts somewhere. (laughing) (laughing) - You gotta watch the whole thing. Next time you come over, that's what the watch. - Yes, 'cause I don't have HBO, unfortunately, at the moment. So yeah, you know what? Okay, the one thing I'll say about Bridgetin before I forget is like, this man is so stupid for not recognizing her. And I'm also like the Jeanette Ray-Lay Shoe Asian, but you know, I get it. It's a fancy, I work so I was just to spend our judgment here and think that he's gonna find her. But then I do think that, I do think that Mom is lying to her about more than just who she is. - Oh yeah. - I think there's like some financial situation here that she's not telling her-- - That belongs to her. - Totally, totally. So I also don't think that she's the daughter of that guy, the Lord and Wood. I think she might be related to his sister or, I don't know, it just feels like, there's a little bit of like lying by omission here. And I'm like waiting to find out. I did read the book on a Kindle of Untemago, 'cause I was like, "Oh, I wanna know what happens next." But I forgot everything. So it's so strange to-- - Wow, well, that's not helpful. - Yeah, sorry. I was like, I remember very little. But the queer story then that's coming is the sister, right? With the cousin. So I'm excited about that. I know people were mad about it because the character deals with infertility. And they were like, "Oh, they robbed us of a really important storyline with like her trying to conceive." And I'm like, "Sure, but also there's a lot of children already in the show. We got aided siblings to get through." Like, listen, I think we can all agree that, like we're gonna be here until 2055 if we keep waiting for your first season. Let's just keep it moving. You know, let's focus on the important things. Let's just keep it moving forward. There's a lot of people who say it's cool. - Who says it still won't be about infertility because it's not like us beings don't try it or don't have babies. - Right, like maybe it's about IVF in the 1800s. I don't know. Maybe they're gonna find a donor and that's the story. I don't know. - Yeah. - Maybe it's gonna be the cousin, spicy. - So I'm excited for that and she's really beautiful. So that's gonna be some hot, it was being sex. I'm excited about in the near future. - We better get it right at the beginning and the whole way through. - No, you know, Lesbian's love to adjust. It's gonna be until the very last part. - Fucking chanta. - She knows what she's doing though. - She sure does. - Yeah. - I really like the lead. I think going with a Korean actress and having that Asian representation school, I do think that Alapena and Bridgeton wouldn't last very long because we would just not keep secrets. We would not be able to be the viewer in any way shape or form. - Yeah. - We would probably like, yeah, low that shit up. (laughing) - So, but if there's Alapena in the future, I do think it's gonna be the little brother, the youngest. (laughing) And that'll be the story that our community needs told, right? Like all of the white men that they, Latina that are getting verbally abused because they want to be in that relationship. - See that? (laughing) - Oh lord. - Kating, I'm kidding. But anyway, that's what's keeping me from being super depressed right now about the world. It's like these little silly TV shows. What else can we do besides trying to keep our sanity with these shits? - Yeah, yeah. - Taking those shits. - Yeah. - Scotland and Britain, apparently, right now. - Yeah. - Yeah. Yeah, just like, I mean besides that, I'm just trying to keep in touch with my friends, you know, still in therapy. - Right. - Journaling, taking walks, I've been taking walks with my dog every day. - Right. - Take walks with my dog every day. I've been doing a lot of yard work. We have a lot of fruit trees and I've been deep into pruning because it's winter and I'm learning a whole new skill set. - Okay, you. - Wow, that's very verbal of you. - Yeah, farmer's and shit. - Yeah. So I bought some new pruners that were like $60, which is fucking crazy. 'Cause I went to a low-- - You're in your nose, Aira. You're going to low. - No, fuck lows, fuck lows, fuck home people. I'm going, we went to a-- - Ace? - I don't even know. - Ace, I guess is the best place to be shopping right now. - Okay. - Or any other like mom and pop shop. 'Cause they're like home people and lows, but especially home people, there's more home people's at least where we are. - Okay. - Are you know allowing-- - Yeah, I just-- - I'm the pop birdie with I. - And I said that. - Exactly. - But anyway. We went, Anish and I like two weeks ago went to a pruning workshop at this really awesome farm. - Okay. - What does it call? - So you do that in the winter so that they can grow in the spring and summer? - Sayur Vada, Farms and Nursery and Pomona, check it out. They have a lot of cooler shops. But yeah, you do it. You know a lot of leaves. - I mean, leaves. Trees like drop their leaves in the winter. And so that's-- - Not all plant, like not all fruit trees are all planned to do that, right? - Okay. - See, I don't even know because I'm just learning about this stuff about like actual plants, not just little house plants, but-- - Wow. - Wow. (laughing) - So there are some trees that drop all their leaves, right? And then you wanna get those, you wanna prune those in the winter because then they'll, the tree really needs it to, like you, he drew a whole diagram. I can't reproduce this workshop, okay? But the point is-- - I'm a YouTube YouTuber, you're doing-- - I know, but I'm trying to because of my ADHD, I'm trying to tell you every detail. (laughing) But I'm gonna drop the link for the $60 shares that you bought to-- - For listeners as well. - Would you bought it for the farm so I could link the farm? (laughing) - So, not all trees drop their leaves, so keep their leaves, right? But, and then with the tropical plants, like we have a mango tree, you wanna, with the tropical plants, you want to wait a little bit till it gets closer to spring and then cut those because it's too cold for them in the winter time is what I learned. So we have, I've been spending so much time pruning, you have no idea how overgrown our fig tree was. It was like the branches had grown so tall. And the thing is on the, like on a fig tree, like the fruit only grows on the new growth of that year and from the year before. So if you haven't pruned it in two years or three years or more, - Okay. - These plants grow really fucking tall. You're supposed to prune these trees, these trees should be growing somewhere where you can pick them. So that you prune them because it helps them with the energy, right? And like you get more fruit production, it's like good for the plant. - It's like a haircut, right? - Yeah. - It takes all the way to all the food. - All the better. - It's all better. - It's literally the same thing. - Okay. - You get more fruit, better quality. But our fig tree was like the branches, were over like 20 feet tall, 25 feet tall. - Yeah, I didn't even the brand could do it, huh? - No, like I had to buy it. We had this already 'cause we had other children. (laughing) I had to buy a pole saw. So it's like literally this 14 foot pole with the living house. - A saw that's like maybe, I don't know, 11 inches or something. - Yeah, a lot of inches here. - A lot of length. (laughing) - You're clearly in your son, your era. And I'm so happy that you're here. - I have to. I've been, so every day after I've been walking blue, I come back and I'll prune for, you know, like 15 minutes to like 45 minutes or something. - Hey, you know what they say? Pruning 10 minutes a day keeps the doctor away. - Yeah, you're right. - You're like, yeah, dude, it's been a lot. Like we have a big tree, we have three avocado trees, we have a persimmon tree, we have a tree. - I can't even just shy enough. - No, yeah, yeah, 'cause you could do that in Riverside, right? Everybody is growing something. And it's also a place where it's just like, it's an agricultural town. - Yeah, totally interesting. - I learned while walking across campus and walking past a UCR tour, that cuties, like the cuties, the little like Mandarin, or whatever. - Yeah, yeah. - Those were engineered at UCR, 'cause it used to be a citrus institute, research institute, even before it was the University of California Riverside. - Oh, wow, sure, that's a bun. Look at them, aren't they cute? - Cutie. - I love it. - Thank you. But it makes a lot of sense. - This really has taken me back to my time at Santa Cruz when I really like left the big city of LA and then went to Santa Cruz, and just was like, oh, hippies. - Yeah, you cut your hippies here. - We're not there. - Yeah, we're not there. - I took farming classes, like I started letting all my hair grow out on my legs, which my friends was, you know, not happy about. - Yeah, that, you know, pruning goes both ways, right? So like, they, (laughs) - Wow. - I think it's really one day we'll do an episode about all of this other in California kids that go to colleges or in California. - Yeah. - Like there would be era. - Yeah. - Well, my sister is a guest with her Berkeley shit. But it's really cute to see you, and like, I know that being connected to, especially having a home and being connected to land and really like, that grounds you literally so much. - I'd be forgetting I'm a earth sign because I have so much cancer in my chart. - You need that earth. - I'm mostly like, like, pinching and stabbing people with my little, my little knees call, my little, the, the claws with my hands. - The cancers? - Yeah. But I'm a world- - What I've been seeing. - I know, I was a sign. - Yeah, like, you need her just like I need the ocean. Not to drown in, but to like look at and reflect. - Yeah. - You know, realize that like, there are bigger problems than, - Yeah. - But one thing I will say about that is like, yeah, like the element of your sunshine really helps ground you. So for like earth signs, it's so important to touch grass literally and just like get connected to, to growing something. I think growing something is beneficial for like gardening seems to be really helpful for people with anxiety. And yeah, might come over and help you prune and might help me. I'm a burglarizing after all. - That's going to be 19. - 15 dollar pruners. Other shears you can use. (laughing) - Might be nice to give something a haircut, you know? - Yeah, it is nice. It is, it is meditative and then, you know, kind of just knowing that it's also, oh, the, a lot of the thing that the farmer, Rishi, who's at that farm, what he talked about was like, it's all really talking to the tree. It's all energy. You're clearing energy. When you're doing the pruning, you want to like, it's about how, like part of it is like, how do you want to see the tree like aesthetically, but also how do you want to like, like what's best for the tree? - Mm-hmm. You know? - I'm not saying that the truth for all of us though. - So Anisha's always like, did you talk to the tree when you pruned it? And I was like, okay, I'd be forgetting, but you know, that's funny. And we're like, hey girl, can I clip you? - Not you're hitting on the tree. (laughs) Everyone talking to tree that work when I sit under them for shade. I'd be like, hey, can I sit here? Is anybody? Anyone sitting here right now? - Thanks. I mean, I think that that's the realest thing though, for especially thinking about the moment that we're in and how to like, get to this base of grounding is like, it is that. It sounds corny or it sounds like crazy, however you want to take it, but it's like really important to slow down in that way, you know, and like, everything feels so urgent and so scary, but it's like, if we could just take a moment to just like breathe, - Yeah. - Listen to our breath. It, like notice and witness the nature around us, even if it's a house plan, you know, for those of us who don't have like outdoor space or green space or live in the concrete jungle. - That's right. Shout out to us. But I do, I do get to work in a beautiful garden. So I do have that access. But it's, yeah, it's, it's a good reminder like you're saying and I hope that, I hope that you all are okay. I hope this makes your cell go just a little, you know, even if it just helped you in your day, your week, whatever. That's what I want this to be, you know? So I hope you all have a beautiful rest of your week and that you touch some, some grass. - Yeah, touch some grass. - Regret grass. - Regret grass. - Yeah, whatever. - No. - Whatever it takes, just keep yourself focused on the real prize, which is looking at that map that Jack is going to share with his students and seeing what role you can take in the revolution. And prune your trees. - And whatever else you got approved. (laughing) - Maintenance, we're maintaining. (laughing) - Bye. - Bye. (laughing)