Did We Find The NEW FedSmoker?! | Your Mom's House Ep. 835

Hey everyone, this month I'm filming my new stand-up special in Milwaukee at the Riverside Theater on November 14th and 15th. Tickets are available in Milwaukee for the November 14th show only. I'll also be in El Paso, Tucson, and Colorado Springs this weekend. Get your tickets now at tomscray.com slash tour. Welcome, welcome to your mom's house. Now that the weather's finally cooling down, I want to take a second to talk about my go-to supplier when it comes to lighting up a cigar. Whether you're a seasoned smoker or you just want something to hold while you're hanging around a fire pit this fall, Cigars International has you covered. I can't think of a better excuse to go outside, carve out some alone time when you find yourself desperately in need of a break from any Turkey Day-induced stress. As the industry leader, Cigars International enhances these moments with unbeatable deals, so you can stockpile. You can stock up or try something new without breaking the bank. They've even got free everyday shipping, no codes, no minimums. You just buy the cigars and they show up. That's it. With Cigars International's unbeatable deals and discounts, there's no better time to stock up and take advantage of what is arguably the best time of year to be a cigar guy. Use code YMH at checkout for 20% off your orders of $50 or more, or visit cigarsinternational.com slash YMH, and the discount applies automatically. Some exclusions apply. Welcome to another episode of Your Mom's House. How are you feeling today, Jean? Good. Today, actually, my winter drop is now available, so you can buy in time for Christmas. Are you wearing the winter drop? This was my fall drop, the winter drop. I have a new liquid lipstick color that I call Cuts You Up and a shimmer gloss. What's it called? Cuts You Up. Cuts You Up? Oh, Cuts You Up. I thought you were saying a Japanese word. Katsuya. Katsuya. ChristinaP.com Congratulations. Thanks. The makeup continues to impress, Jean. Yeah, it's fun. I really believe in this product, too. It doesn't suck. So much makeup fucking sucks, and I spend a lot of money and time making these good. I mean, the results are impressive. People also really like it. And I'll tell you what, too. I like having interests. I like posting makeup. Not necessarily about, like, you know, being a Kardashian, because that shit's boring. Yeah. That's not who you are. That's not who I am, bro. You're a dark child. I'm a dark demon hunter. K-pop demon hunter. But no hate on them. No. I just, it's not for me. It's not for me. Yeah. What are you inside? What are you inside? I mean, there's some darkness. Well, you're a serial killer. I wouldn't go that far. I think I'm a God warrior, but I feel like. I'm God warrior. There's some dark stuff in there, too. I'm dark. I'm dorksided. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She lost all the weight, that lady. Did she? I'm a God warrior, dorksided. You know, for those, can you pull up God warrior? She was amazing. For people that don't know. What show was that on? Trading Spouses. Oh, yeah, yeah. Did you work on that show? Yeah. So I was there. Oh, there she is. Yeah, she looks great. Marguerite. Marguerite Perrin. So that's the clip when she's a big old lady right there. Yeah. So the concept of the show was that two. Two people from different families would go live with the other family. It's called Trading Spouses. So they would do things, obviously, like pair a woman from a liberal family to a conservative family and vice versa. And so cameras would be running. And it was super entertaining because you'd see people that are, you know, not from this lifestyle all of a sudden thrust into living with a family like that. And, you know, they'd pick like somebody from like a farm and send them to like New York City and vice versa. So anyway. I'm working in the post production office where at the time. And I don't know if if reality is still done this way. Thanks, baby. Maybe it is. But at the time, you know, the cameras would run 24 seven and then they'd have a PA on location, take the tapes from that week and fly with them back so that nothing could have like you have to have a human being carrying them, not you're not going to ship at FedEx, you know. So. You know, PA came in, dropped off tapes and I would work. This is when I was working the graveyard shift. I remember those years. 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. Yes, yes, yes. It was awful. Awful for me physically, mentally, emotionally, just for life in general. It was awful. But I remember being in the post house and, you know, you'd know the editor's bays and there was a couple of people that were like. Convening by this editor's bay down the hall and I was hearing hollering and laughing and I'm like, what's going on down there? And I went down there and I saw they were watching this lady. It's the best who basically that she was from Louisiana and they put her with, I think, just like a more, yeah, let's say liberal family. And when she got back home, she was just like she was having like a. Mental break. Yeah. She was like, those people are demons and I'm a God warrior. Yeah. And she just exploded. Can you play the God warrior? She's not a Christian. Yeah. Yes. Remember? She was freaking out that she's not a Christian. Yes, dude. This was. Yeah. Oh, 2005. This is when we were dating. Yes, if she believed in God. She could be a Jew and believe in God. It doesn't matter. She's tampering in dark side and stuff. Dark side. Dork side. Dork side. Yeah. Dork side. Yes, she did. The entire house is dork side. Dork side. She said her whole house is dork side. She is dork side too. Well, you made it guys. Yeah. Mom's got problems. Yeah. Mom's a borderline. That's a little bit of it. But anyway, she went fucking nuts, dude. She went nuts. Yeah. Yeah. Wife swap. Is it wife swap? Wife swap. Okay. Because trading spouses was the other. Wife swap. Wife swap. It must have been Fox and trading spouses with ABC. I think that's what it was. Great. Both of them. I was really into that show. I don't know. It is trading spouses. Mm-hmm. Anyway. I only had three seasons. I feel like they could do that show infinitely. It should be an ongoing social experiment show. And you know who the mastermind of all the shows? Which one? It's quite a few. I was at a place that did them for Fox. They had a Fox deal. Mm-hmm. Yeah. trading spouses my big fat obnoxious boss my big fat obnoxious fiance some makeover stuff it was a little french french dude named jean-michel oh i remember he was like five one and he had like the long shoulder length hair yeah is that him is that jean-michel that can't be the guy is it this is what happens when you click on it let's see a little child was he a child star no i have no idea i i think so my big fat obnoxious boss i mean yeah he's got all those credits but that's the photo bizarre that's his childhood he was an actor i guess a child actor oh can you look up like images of him as an adult joe millionaire remember that show that was a good one he did a ton of shit temptation island nah that ain't him bro that's not who we're talking about let's see no there's no images of this guy huh that's it holy this is what we're seeing yeah how does somebody how can you do that in today's world where you're like there's no images of me and you're in television yeah that's very rare yeah that's really crazy i mean unless you had it scratch that ain't him bro that ain't him homie dang weird i'm telling you i used to go to sound mixes with this guy yeah i remember you telling me yeah you'd be like it's the night he comes in yeah he's he's a little dude he'd get lit too he'd drink like three bottles of wine and he's such a frog that he would sit in his he had like a nice suite at the office and he had like a high-powered air vent so they would suck the smoke in his office mad respect yeah and you see it go like shoot out of the ceiling i respect it yeah i respect that they still they still stick to smoking cigarettes the frogs yeah yeah i think eastern eastern european bros too a lot a lot of people still do actually the turks uh koreans i don't buy that vaping is somehow better i don't think it is i don't think you're still putting something in your lungs yeah i'd rather smoke a leaf with chemicals on it than just the chemicals right let's just make smoke and come back i know when do we get to start smoking cigarettes again tom i think a later diagnosis in life like if i get cancer again it's kind of on i think so because the kind that i had was rare if it comes back if it comes back you tell them i'll do all the things you're telling me and two packs a day a thousand percent yeah yeah yeah fuck it i had a good salad today took my meds cigarettes smoked 15 cigarettes i feel good i i wonder and this is gonna probably stupid thing to say out loud in my dumb brain but like i wonder how many cigarettes are really that shitty for you like what what's the cancer no right do you know i i bet you could get away somebody Somebody knows. One of you fucking researchers knows. Yeah, because there are people that get lung cancer that have never smoked a day in their lives. And then there's people who smoke a pack and a half a day and also don't get lung cancer. Of course. What if they know? They're like, it's three a day. You can totally smoke three a day. It's fine. You're not going to die. You want a morning, noon, and night routine? It's fine. We've got to ask Dr. Drew. Oh, we could. Well, he's going to give us the fucking answer they want us to hear. It's not going to be the answer. Yeah. My research. You just haven't researched it. My buddy Todd, he was saying the other day that he was smoking like 40 cigarettes a day for 16 years. And he's fine. Did you read the report? Are you trying to tell me Todd's wrong? All right. You ready to see the opener? Oh, hey, it's a woman. That's weird. Still can't poop. Yeah. Can't poop for like 48 hours. I have no idea why. I took medicine. It's not working. Help. I'll help you. That shit is big time. Oh, that's it. Don't bring anyone loving to this. Your mom in the fucking stand. Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. Your mom. With Tom Segura. Mom Segura. And Christina Miaojitski. Still can't poop. Yeah. 48 hours after you've already taken the laxatives and no budge. What's the guideline here? All right. Well, here's what I've done. You're kind of an expert in this area. Go ahead. I am. If the laxatives don't work, you're going to go ahead and just shove a suppository right up your ass. And that is a surefire. I did. Yeah. For this last round of stuff. It took two suppositories to get. Brown to come down. But then when it finally, the dam opens up and you've got those, the, the oxy shits that you've been holding onto for days in the hospital and then you come home and you'll, you know, you know, that first post oxy. Oxy shit. Calmest shit. Dude, that alone would. It almost makes drugs not worth it. It's not, it's not, I wouldn't say it's not worth it, but it's almost not worth it. Yeah. Cause I feel like you just, you have to choose shitting or being high. High is awesome. High is awesome. Oh yeah, dude. And that Dilaudid, that was amazing. That was amazing. That was amazing. It's the all time greatest. I know. I know. I can remember right now. Like I remember the first time she gave it to me in my IV. You got to find a doctor who will come to the house and do it. I know. You guys want some Dilaudid tonight before bed? Yes. It'd be awesome, man. Be awesome. So you would tell her it's pository next. Yeah. Don't fuck around. Don't fuck around at 48 hours. Just shove one in there. You don't have to let it melt all the way even. Sometimes it'll just burn your rim. Yeah. You've used pository, yeah? Yeah. Yeah. It just like stings your butt off. I don't remember any stinging. Really? Mm-mm. I remember the discomfort of something being shoved up my ass. That's the part that I was really married to. You remember that? Yeah. That sucks. Who did it? Was she hot? A nurse. No. No. And it was, I mean, it was mortifying. And then you felt the shit. You felt the shit coming. And it came out like hot sludge. Oh, nice. And then the lady was like, oh. The nurse, who's supposed to be a, she goes, oh, my God. She goes, you have so much hair back here. Oh. And the whole time she was like, oh, no. Oh. Oh, my God. That's not very nice. I know. She was older. And I was like, yeah. What a bitch. She was like, oh, Jesus. Man, a bad nurse can make or break, it can break your fucking stay at a hospital. Yeah. To get a shit bag nurse like that, that's mean. You had a mostly good one. I've. I've had great ones here in Texas. You had one that wasn't great. You told me. Well, yeah, at the house, when I had one at the house. Oh, oh, oh. But at the hospital. Amazing. Shout out St. David's. Always excellent. Shout out St. David's. No problems there. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Well, what do you think? What would you tell her? Poop soup, here's what you get to do. Poop soup just cleans you out when it's a little like, uh-oh, there's needs a little. Uh-oh. I skipped one movement. Mm-mm. Yeah. Then you take your laxatives. Yeah. And you take another round. And if nothing, suppository. Suppository. That's what I do. Yeah. I don't have, I don't really have a constipation issue. You have the opposite. Ever. Yeah. No, we, you do like loose browns. I mean, I've had loose browns. I know what causes them. Well. Loose browns are high fat usually. Really? Yeah. You think so? That's after all these years. The thing that is a guarantee for me is like high fat greasy. Yeah. It's like, it's gonna, like I try to avoid that almost. Every situation I'm in now. And that will prevent the loose browns. That'll prevent loose browns. Yeah. I just don't have a good gut for high fat. I don't. That's interesting. You know, you should really tell our GI doctor that. That finding. You still haven't mailed in your shit. I haven't mailed in my shit. I wish you would. I know. Maybe it's a project for when I'm home for an extended period next. Take a nice long hot shit. Don't you have to just scoop a little bit? Into like, she gave me like 15 vials. And there's also instructions about how much shit. Don't put in too little and don't put in too much. It's so specific. It's really cool. It's a cool thing. She's like, why haven't you given me back your shit? She told me that. She left me a message. Yeah, she's like, where's your shit? I don't have your poop. I need your poop. She's great. She is great. You really gotta get in there. Mother fucker, I gotta get my poop in there. This show is sponsored by Liquid IV. My key to making the switch from days filled with tan lines to ones filled with deadlines is to prioritize exercise. Thanks to Liquid IV's new sugar-free hydrating multiplier, sugar-free energy, I can skip the sugar and the crash. 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When you find yourself desperately in need of a break from any turkey day induced stress. As the industry leader, Cigars International enhances these moments with unbeatable deals so you can stock up or try something new without breaking the bank. That's it. Use code YMH. YMH at checkout for 20% off your orders of $50 or more or visit cigarsinternational.com slash YMH and the discount applies automatically. Hey, by the way, when we were on vacation, I don't know if this is too personal. If you don't want me to share this, we can edit this out, but I've been listening to you dump through walls for years, 20 years, and I've never brought this up until recently. Recently, when there's a point in your bowel movements where you go and you make an audible sound, what is happening at that moment? I don't know. I don't know that I'm making that sound. You do. You do. I don't know that I'm making that sound, though. So, I mean, you're telling me, like, what are you doing? I'm like, I don't understand. It's unconscious for you. Yeah. Because it sounds like, I mean, your description. Yeah. It feels like it's just relief. Like, there goes. All the work that I've been putting in. Done. Yeah. It's like, it's that. It's a sigh. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. So, that to me sounds like I just was done pushing. Isn't that what that sounds like to you? Sounds like post-push? Yes. Relief? You're in labor. Yeah. The contraction has gone, and then you let out the baby brown. Yeah. No, it's too, I love it. What you did before, that's the sound. Yeah. That sounds like. just that dumb person. - But it's so loud that I can hear hear it it's so loud the wall wow and i can even hear it in our own home i know that you heard a couple pee farts like when i would go pee and then fart because i actually had some pretty epic ones down there amazing farts yeah when you pee last couple days i was real bummed out that you weren't around for some of the stuff i had i was really bummed too because i was browning non-stop you mentioned that it was i was sad that to be so far away yeah yeah yeah yeah it was so crazy so crazy can you imagine i mean we talk about this all the time that there are couples who don't fart i don't understand because some of you have been in isn't that crazy are you in that camp that's a lie no no i was i was the opposite okay that uh i was saying that i don't fart around my friends yeah but i will fart around a girlfriend yeah because i don't understand the ones though that do say like yeah you know they're just like yeah i don't do that so it's like so anytime like let's say you have a gassy night yeah you just you get up 30 times to leave because you might fart or something or what if you what if you're peeing yeah and then you let out some farts and she can hear if you're in a hotel room you're sharing a room i'm gonna hear those farts of course why are you pretending like it doesn't happen of course i mean i have been with like a girl who i'm like i probably shouldn't do it with this one you know yeah yeah yeah so then you kind of hide them you just you know in the fucking in the bathroom it doesn't work it works it doesn't work yeah we know what you're doing she didn't know she's stupid stupid bitch dumb broad yeah she didn't know smells so weird now but could you imagine like you guys go out to dinner you're laying in bed watching tv and then you're like excuse me i have to excuse me gotta wash my face again i'm gonna go brush my teeth now i mean i forgot the floss wait have you ever have you ever held it in like in the beginning though yeah like you did a week maybe yeah you were i i feel like it was terrible those far when when you finally release incredible farts insane yeah it's like a bomb goes off yeah the whole house but but imagine being in a relationship a marriage where that's the norm that's what you do all the time you're holding in farts all the time yeah and then you're just waiting until you're in the bathroom to grip i can't imagine my stepmom would hold in her farts my second one sorry i don't know i'm on my fourth one my second one second one because my stepmom would hold in her farts my second one sorry i don't know i'm on my fourth one my second one because my dad would rip him he didn't care he didn't give a shit but if she never tooted she was very ladylike and if he fired in front of her he was like so what um yeah she would pretend like oh no that's so gross and then he would laugh and i would laugh and that that's the fun but she wouldn't do it in front of him never in a gazillion years i don't think he would allow that yeah as a man i don't think he would allow it he let me do it because i'm his daughter but he would have shot that he's trying to bang or is banging no way no fucking way yeah no fucking way like get the fuck out today yeah right now that's such a double standard though of course it is yeah it's insane you wouldn't forbid me from farting would you could i even attempt to do something like that i would be devastated i'd be like saying you're not allowed to breathe around here there's no chance devastating bit um speaking of uh reality shows this one popped up on my feed i didn't remember that it was a reality show i didn't remember that it was a reality show i didn't remember that it was a reality show but this story was pretty incredible and i want to show it to you it's from a reality show back in the day in 2006 there was a show on fx where two families swapped races produced by ice cube so for six weeks they had a black family become white and a white family become black and then all six of them lived in a house together the show had two purposes one is to see what the world would be like if you had a different skin color the other objective which is the most bizarre part of the show is to see if you would pass as the other race like this white girl who is trying to pass as black is given a black chaperone who shows her like how to be black like how to get a black boyfriend the black family who becomes white you can tell that they just think it's ridiculous like when they see each other they're like why do we all look like teddy perkins but then when the white family sees each other in blackface for the first time they're like so turned on it's nice i love black i mean visually and somehow heart-wise there's a black family that's trying to pass as black but then when the white family sees each other in blackface for the first time they're like so turned on it's nice i love black i mean visually and somehow heart-wise there's a black family that's trying to pass as black the black dad who's in whiteface goes to a golfing range to see if they'll think he's white and he's like hello whites love those clubs where'd you get them and they're like why do you think he's white and he's like hello whites love those clubs where'd you get them you look like jeffrey dahmer with the media and the white girl with the black chaperone has to see if she'll pass by writing and performing slam poetry i really love words i do and like to me you can never have enough adjectives not looking good a ritual so profound the taste of sex the body flush with hot and sticky fantastic little weird why is this white family so hoardy yeah yeah hold on god damn but no one in the show is worse than the white dad bruno you know hey i look forward to having someone say hey you know you're a son of a bitch i hate you i'm kind of waiting for somebody to go hey this man was dying to say it oh my god i couldn't wait so to test if racism exists bruno goes to a car dealership in blackface and he's disappointed because he wanted them to be like hey slave you can't buy a car and they didn't so he said no and then he went to a car dealership says racism doesn't exist then the white family goes in blackface to sit at a panel with black people to hear their experiences on racism but this is what happens when the facilitator asks if anyone's been called a derogatory name yeah i used to work as a doorman at a disco you know when somebody came up intoxicated or didn't have the right dress on you know they say come on they're a lot more hostile than that and i just you know yeah that's right it just wouldn't affect me and that would be the end of the conflict he was dying to use it so much he used it in a clip thing 30 times which means yeah that's a lot of filming yeah you can see everyone around him's like huh yeah for them to piece that together you really got it yeah dropped it a lot yeah i love that he's like well the big thing is i i really enjoyed the pass that i got by putting this makeup on that's my big takeaway i mean look the one thing i'm wondering is like is the makeup convincing anybody and how did they i don't know that part he does not seem convinced the daughter didn't seem convincing no no the the makeup is really my thing i mean they look they look like they're white people in blackface is the way it yes comes across to me yeah does it does it look like that to you guys oh yeah yeah 100 right like you go this is a white person wearing a costume yeah the the especially the the black dude i think the black dude's the worst that's like trying to be a white dude yeah yeah that looks like the dave chapelle skit yeah it does yeah yeah that's not even close i mean i kind of in this image you know this is also a heavily photoshopped image like the mom seems kind of passable and like i think the daughter could pass yeah but it's also like this still image when she when you saw her actually live moving around oh man i'd be so nervous as a white person trying to oh my god amazing the kid looks good yeah no they make them look better in this photo yeah and they did on camera the woman just looks like a light-skinned black woman yeah 100 yeah they didn't that's not a good job yeah oh man that's crazy i would be so nervous i want to see this show i know i know yeah because what if they're like are you wearing blackface makeup no no what you're talking about talking about my skin right now oh my god yeah dude wow they were so horny for each other did you see that yeah he's like i love you so oh shit you seem like a nice man you seem like a nice man that was her flirting fucking weird dude i mean we're a production studio why don't we just remake it oh we could do it with the staff it's a really good idea i'm a white face you'll do white face hi everybody hi everybody you have your white voice down oh yeah you're fucking kidding me hey guys how's it going beautiful day we're having oh that's good that's really good can you do a southern observations about the day oh they love talking chit chat now that the weather's finally cooling down i want to take a second to talk about my go-to supplier when it comes to lighting up a cigar whether you're a seasoned smoker or you just want something to hold while you're hanging around a fire pit this fall cigars international has you covered i can't think of a better excuse to go outside carve out some alone time when you find yourself desperately in need of a break from any turkey day induced stress as the industry leader cigars international enhances these moments with unbeatable deals so you can stock up or try something new without breaking the bank they've even got free everyday shipping no codes no minimums you just buy the cigars and they show up that's it with cigars internationals unbeatable deals and discounts there's no better time to stock up and take advantage of what is arguably the best time of year to be a cigar guy use code ymh at checkout for 20 off your orders of 50 or more or visit cigars international.com slash ymh and the discount applies automatically some exclusions apply at edward jones we believe rich is about taking care of what gives your life meaning that's why your financial advisor personalizes your plan to help you preserve your progress and create something that lasts let's find your rich edward jones member sipc humidity honestly the humidity is really what gets you i got you you got the whole white thing down who would you do in blackface huh who would you put in blackface whoever wants to take the risk no but i mean we're going to go all out i'm not like who we would go all out we would not do just some like like a tan you know like we're not just going to put like like toner how would we do it like in soul man would we make them take tanning pills no no no i'm saying we would do that we would do the skin tone yeah we would do hair but we would also do prosthetics you know oh yeah make it look but yeah they could have done prosthetics prosthetics to like really convince yeah yeah i mean who knows maybe the makeup's so much better now that they they maybe do that maybe anybody on the staff really want to say they want to be black day like i'm pretty sure i know one person in here that would who's that tanner oh yeah yeah like the opportunity something tells me he would do what the dad did too what's up oh my god which one of the girls that's not gonna can i awesome oh you should do it that's a good idea me yeah i can't pretend to be black i don't know why this dorkiest nerd that's why you got to do it you can understand what people have been through oh you know and then after that i'll send you to this place um oh yeah this one welcome to america tell me what you're thinking just so much i've always i've always been interested in history and the history of black people i took i took afrocentric classes at uofl my grandma lived at 2821 west kentucky street i've read so many books and now i belong to a church that's primarily african-american and i wouldn't be anywhere else i've always been interested in history and the history of black people i took i took afrocentric classes at uofl my grandma lived at 2821 west kentucky street i've read so many books and now i belong to a church that's primarily african-american and i wouldn't be anywhere else i've read so many books and now i belong to a church that's primarily african-american and i wouldn't be anywhere else beautiful thank you i know you know what it reminded me of when we went to the apartheid museum south africa and we were like oh what yeah everybody's up leaving there dude that's exactly what it reminded me of when we when i found this i was i was so excited that someone was going to hit her though like that's like start beating her yeah like someone just see a whip just go yeah she's like ah yeah and they're like welcome to america get in the fields yeah that was nothing no they need to better i agree you know what tom yeah you're right can i tell you why the apartheid apartheid museum was so effective yeah remember when you check in they give you a card and either you're a white mixed or black and you have to go in a separate entrance colored you have to go in a separate entrance dependent on that and i was like oh that's so up so that's just the beginning blanks because but anyway yeah they should have been beating her and reprimanding her that that apartheid museum is unbelievable yeah that's a real bummer man yeah yeah yeah that one really gets the point across oh my god yeah yeah then we did a show that that's it that's where you enter in blanca's non-whites yeah yeah you know i you know what though i do like how she rattles off like her black credibility though she's like my grandma lived on 45 bucks she's like you know what though i do like how she rattles off like her black credibility though she's like my grandma lived on 45 bucks though she's like my grandma lived on 45 bucks though she's like my grandma lived on 45 bucks though she's like my grandma lived on 45 bucks 27 martin luther king i go to a church 27 martin luther king i go to a church 27 martin luther king i go to a church and i i like blacks i swear i've always and i i like blacks i swear i've always and i i like blacks i swear i've always had an interest in black had an interest in black had an interest in black and the guy's like okay okay he's like and the guy's like okay okay he's like and the guy's like okay okay he's like you pass you're cool you're cool you pass you're cool you're cool you pass you're cool i mean obviously she's so traumatized this i mean obviously she's so traumatized this i mean obviously she's so traumatized this lady lady lady but obviously you're down with black but obviously you're down with black but obviously you're down with black people if you're willing to like yeah go people if you're willing to like yeah go people if you're willing to like yeah go through that experience you know of through that experience you know of through that experience you know of course but she still has to give her her course but she still has to give her her course but she still has to give her her credibility she's carrying a lot with credibility she's carrying a lot with credibility she's carrying a lot with her a lot of guilt yeah he's like is her a lot of guilt yeah he's like is her a lot of guilt yeah he's like is there a reason you feel this way there a reason you feel this way there a reason you feel this way i wasn't that nice in high school so uh yeah here's a change of pace so uh yeah here's a change of pace though you might like sure my name is christopher torres and i took a picture of these ladies behind me you took a picture of my behind yes i did yes absolutely and what are you going to do with our picture um i'm not sure maybe later on i'll figure it out yeah okay awesome you're going on tiktok that's cool all right i'm creepy because i like beautiful women yeah you're fucking creepy don't be stupid bitch you're fucking creepy you are the problem i'm a problem that was kind of cool you've been to saudi arabia yeah what would happen if he pulled that in riyadh took a picture of beautiful woman i don't know depends where he falls in the hierarchy i think he'd be allowed to if he was a certain had a certain last name sure you yeah um but that's cool that he's like what i can't take a picture of a beautiful lady yeah no one's ever taken a picture of my name is christopher torres and i took a picture of these ladies behind my name is christopher torres i took a picture of those ladies behind yeah i do love these soda machines that he's using though aren't those the greatest there's all those varieties oh my god you see them in movie theaters yeah because you can get diet cherry yeah coke it's so good they should have these more places it's really where's this fool at that he gets to have that can you buy one of those damn yeah can we get one for the office how much are those that's $30,000 how much is a coca-cola freestyle machine god damn i imagine the maintenance is is a motherfucker yeah yeah for sure because all the syrups all the fucking carbonation you got to put in there yeah that's no joke but i do love the amount coca-cola freestyle all right let's see 7100 oh oh 8100 so expensive that's a fucking 9100 that's even better how much are these no prices listed 20,000 any find the specs bro come on this it is really the maintenance that's going to kill you yeah yeah they're probably super sensitive and i bet they get broken a lot if anybody's listening and services these machines the crow the coke freestyle machine will you let us know if the maintenance is a bitch this one looks like it's a bid that's an old ass one that's yeah that's eight grand that's a bullshit one too it's all little and shit you can't find out the fucking they don't fucking come on bick yeah find it that says a grand there's no way there's no way it's not a grand that's like a mini one or something this is crazy that's a tiny one dude why can't they make other things like this specific you know what i'm saying this is crazy dude why can't they make other things like this specific you saying i'm gonna see if i can find it they should make like a popcorn machine that has all the different flavors you could put on there too or candy why don't they have freestyle candy machines uh the brand new freestyle machine is in the 12 to 20,000 range for an outright purchase some say it can be 15 to 20 leasing placement example is 300 a month for people that just want to lease them oh that's probably the smartest way to do it when you see cost it's not just the machine you'll likely need to commit to it it's not just the machine you'll likely need to commit to it it's not just the machine you'll likely need to commit to a supply contract with a supply contract with a supply contract with coca-cola installation plumbing ice machine coca-cola installation plumbing ice machine coca-cola installation plumbing ice machine capacity connectivity capacity connectivity capacity connectivity ongoing cartridges yeah yeah it's a ongoing cartridges yeah yeah it's a ongoing cartridges yeah yeah it's a nightmare it's expensive holy nightmare it's expensive holy nightmare it's expensive holy all right well look into it let's try all right well look into it let's try all right well look into it let's try getting one in the lobby that sounds like getting one in the lobby that sounds like getting one in the lobby that sounds like a great idea a great idea a great idea such a waste of money such a waste of money such a waste of money everybody can have special coca-cola everybody can have special coca-cola i mean if coke wants to sponsor us and i mean if coke wants to sponsor us and i mean if coke wants to sponsor us and give us the machine we've dealt with give us the machine we've dealt with give us the machine we've dealt with the fortune 500s before i don't know dude the fortune 500s before i don't know dude the fortune 500s before i don't know dude i don't know i don't know i don't know i know you want to see something wild no i i know you want to see something wild no i i know you want to see something wild no i know yeah so i've somebody who just in know yeah so i've somebody who just in know yeah so i've somebody who just in the last few years the last few years the last few years started getting like real dad eyes right started getting like real dad eyes right started getting like real dad eyes right like my vision is declining like my vision is declining like my vision is declining by the minute okay and so by the minute okay and so by the minute okay and so every year i get my eyes checked out every year i get my eyes checked out every year i get my eyes checked out every year they go they're worse every year they go they're worse every year they go they're worse and every year they go you need new and every year they go you need new and every year they go you need new prescriptions and so they take my prescriptions and so they take my prescriptions and so they take my glasses and i get all new prescriptions glasses and i get all new prescriptions glasses and i get all new prescriptions so so so now i wear them almost all the time you now i wear them almost all the time you You know, I don't wear them on stage or anything, but most of the time I have them on. I never had it because I think glasses are so new to me, meaning like I didn't start wearing them at all until I was over 40. I've always had this thing where I've just never felt comfortable with contacts. I've never done anything with contacts, you know, and I know a lot of people obviously use them. But then I saw this video and it's like, oh, it made me want to not use contacts more. Down? I don't like it. And you can see, you know, lift it up a little bit. There's a third contact. Look down some more. We just removed two and a half contacts. You can see this piece. Oh, fuck, dude. Fuck. How many? I don't know. There's actually a lot. Oh, God. There's a whole waddle there. I don't believe it. What is going on? They're just all in her eye. She forgets that she's got a record patient. oh god we're delivering to be remembered she's got seven eight nine contacts up there you can say that again is she elderly i think i've already counted more than 10 or 12 oh come on no i'm serious she's old yeah she's old she's an old lady we're mentally ill the doctor removed a total of 23 contacts lady would forget to remove contacts before bed and then they trap between her eyelid and eye 23 just up there i'm surprised she can still see without the infection raging through there bro that's like my worst nightmare that's why i will never fuck with contacts i know to touching your eye at night to get that thing out and what if you forget or what if you don't wash it you put your fucking finger in your eye two times a day at least fuck that you know what i wouldn't even fuck with either is that lasik shit i know it's supposed to fix your shit i know but like bro they screw that up they have and they have i've seen like pieces of documentaries on tick tock or whatever about people like fucked up lasik yeah that's it dude that's it your eyes you're done you're done driving you're done seeing you're done yeah my friend was kind of allergic to whatever medication they use for lasik surgery and he was blind for two weeks what straight up blind what do you mean will you google what are the possible negative outcomes are you talking about allergic that did it and she can't drive at night now who i have an aunt and she got lasik like years ago yeah and now she can't drive at night ever cool that's cool great let's see what it what the results say here all right negative outcomes very common dry eyes that can reduce uh tear production great this can occur uh visual disturbances glare halo starburst double vision that's fun some people just experience difficulty driving at night uh under correction or over correction you still might need glasses or contacts sometimes a second procedure is required uh flap complications removes a creating a corneal flap if it heals poorly it can lead to infection result in wrinkles or displacement of the flap um regression eyes can gradually shift back toward your original prescription oh no corneal ectasia rare but serious cornea becomes weakened begins to bulge may require a little bit of a surgery or a little bit of a surgery or a little bit of a surgery or a little bit of a surgery or a little bit of a surgery or a little bit of a surgery or specialty contacts or a corneal transplant inflammation or infection risk is low but it can happen loss of visual sharpness a contrast sensitivity some people notice that while they have 20 20 vision things appear fuzzier oh god could you imagine eye pain or discomfort jesus you pay for that you go through it and then this shit happens here's the less common rare outcomes this is what i'm talking about photophobia light sensitivity problems with eye tracking um incomplete correction in people with heart disease and heart disease and heart disease and High prescriptions are thin corneas. Some patients report depression or anxiety after the complications. And you have higher risk if you have dry eyes already, you have a thin cornea, you have high myopia or hyperopia, you have an autoimmune condition. Yeah. No way. I don't know. I'm like you. I don't want to. I'd rather wear glasses. But I will say I'm pissed that you like this particular frame because that's my frame. But I've had this one for a long time. I know. And now I can't wear mine that are identical because then we look like dorks. So I have to find the clever, weirder ones. And this doesn't look as good. I like mine that look like that. I understand. You understand. I understand. You don't understand. Why don't you get some different shits, dude? Yeah. You know, you should get tiny ones, like real tiny, thin, tiny ones. Yeah. Wire looks cool. You know, I think the all-time, I mean, this is debatable, but great is fine. The only thing that this show ever came up with is. What's up there, Chomo? I mean. Right? And we're always wondering, is his spirit alive? Is he still with us? He is. You look for signs. He is. Things in the universe. Let me see where it's at. Little things that happen and you go, he's still there. He's here with us. And sometimes we're told that somebody has discovered a new version of him. He's reincarnated. Yeah, reincarnated. It's his son or somebody. So here's somebody. Who is accosting people that are minding their business. And therefore, our buddy, Herc, comes to mind. So let's just see where this guy goes. Check these bitch ass cowards out. Bitch ass fucking cowards. Check these people out. You fucking bitch ass motherfuckers. Fuck you. It's like, what did you say? Oh, hell no. It's in the South, bro. Are you a transgender person on the right? You look transgender. With that hair style. Are you a man or female? I can't even tell the difference this day and age. You can't even tell the difference. Isn't that cool? I love this. Just people doing their own thing. Sitting on their porch. Are you a male or female? I can't even tell the fucking difference. Teenagers. Kids. You can't even tell the difference this day and age. You know, who's a male or who's actually a female. Yeah, we got it. Maybe you're transgender. He's not transgender. So that person right there. That person. That person right there, supposedly, as part of the cul-de-sac-ology, we've still got to further verify that. He likes to call in, make baseless reports. That's what he likes to do. And he cheated. Yeah, he cheated. Supposedly. Supposedly. This is what I was told from a third party. He cheated at his swimming competition. He took things that he's not even supposed to be taking during his swimming competitions, supposedly. Supposedly. Okay. Just like last winter. I have a video of him, supposedly, doing drugs. I don't know if that was drugs, but it definitely looked like it. Supposedly. You should handle your own problems. Be a fucking grown-ass man. You act like a fucking girl. All of yous act like fucking girls. I've had somebody try to murder me with a car, and you don't see me act like y'all. Y'all are a bunch of pussies. Y'all are a bunch of weak-ass fucking females. That's exactly what y'all are. Y'all are weak-ass females. Y'all are not men. Y'all are fucking females. Okay, I'll say this. This guy's got a lot of potential. Do we know anything more about him? Because I'm really feeling his style. He's great. Oh, that's him. I discovered this man, and he's the best. Sigma. Sigma Chi audits. Oh, he's just going after Sigma Chi's? Mainly. Wow. And Scientology, I think. That's such a cool lane. Yeah. Wow. Also the police that defend Sigma Chi. Oh, wow. Wow. These are all Sigma Chi guys that he's exposing. Yeah. Look at followed by. Bro. Okay, start on the first one. Go to the first pin thing there. Stupid. Dude, good to see ya. I'm not doing this right now, man. I just graduated. Can we. He walks around with, like, three cans attached to him. Oh. And then just click the right arrow. Let's go to the next thing. This is my first ever interaction with Sigma Chi-tology fraternity. I was auditing the street vendor and giving them compliments about their food when Tim and Ider, a communist Hispanic guy and oriental crackpot security guard from Sigma Chi, came over and bark orders. Oh, yeah, this guy has a lot of the same DNA. This is a public sidewalk. He's young, too. You don't own the public sidewalk. This is just what happens. I have every right to stand on a public sidewalk and film whatever I can film on the public sidewalk. But, like, is there anything I can do for you? Anything I can help you? No. Nothing. You're just making a video or something? None of your business. I have every right to stand on the public sidewalk and exercise my First Amendment right. Yeah, just don't mess with the staff. You don't tell me what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to do it. You don't tell me what the fuck to do. Exactly, Herc. It's. Exactly. Wow. All right, close that. Thanks. But you know what's really special? What? Is that we're getting. So, I would like to thank you for having a great police chief and a great sheriff. Go ahead. Is that we're getting this guy young. Yeah. We can see him evolve into this. Right. Yes. Because, Herc, we caught him at the end of his career of menacing. We sure did. We sure did. And this kid, what's his name? He's young. He's the audit. He's the auditor. He's the auditor. Can you scroll down? This is great. Do you ever see him? I know. I've got to see what he looks like. Very rarely. Ooh. Is that a woman there that he's accosting? Please let it be a woman. Report real news. Why do you have to report fake news? Why don't you talk about how they have 50% of the budget? Why don't you ever talk about that? That's the same look he would get. That's the same voice. This is one of the rare times someone actually checks you. Don't touch me. Get out of our neighborhood. Don't touch me. Who the fuck do you think you are? Report real news. Why do you have to. Dude. That even fucking sounds like him. I know. Is that a ragged, hard voice? Damn. Listen here. I have a thing. A trooper broke the law yesterday in Oklahoma. God damn. He said that stamping a baby stamp on someone's face is a rape charge. Do you agree? Yeah. What? What? Give somebody the stamp. What? Huh? The stamp? What? Yeah. Sure. Do it, Tom. Do the porno what? What? Yeah. Yeah. What? Let's get over here and suck my dicks. There you go. Isn't that what he says? Yep. Dude, this guy is awesome. This guy's great, dude. Good find, Danny. I parked illegally, quit, quit, quit, quit. - It's just a little ride down memory lane. - It brings back such good times. - Fuck, dude. - Yeah. - Poor dog. Oh shit, dude. Fuck, fuck. - Ugh. - Yeah. - Light your brain on fire. - Right down there. Yeah. - Yeah. - By the way. Are you, you done? Well, I'm sorry. Let me get, let's get the giggles out first, psycho. Tim. - Yeah. is to pull a tooth out that's a lot the roots and that's a bad one that just yeah so he's not feeling it so the amount of meth you've got to be on to not feel it yeah because i've seen hungarian dudes do this on the internet vodka but they're drunk because shit yeah you don't look drunk dude yeah that was really something man he's got like nice art on his ceiling yeah the girl with the earring or something on there oh shit that was awesome remember when he's like oh like a skinny woman 112 pounds yeah i can't wait for the sigma chi guy to start getting horny yeah yeah me too yeah because right now he's just in his i'm i'm menacing the other guys yeah which is bold because five of those sigma chi guys could beat his ass they have really good dispositions though they were all kind of like even the guys that the guy's like can we know i just graduated you they're so sweet could you just move along i found the one of the rare videos where you see a little bit of him yeah that's him in the beginning right there that's him right there so they know him for like here's fucking trevor that's a that's a what's your name sir all right you're being video recorded too yeah whatever you don't see him again but that's that's okay he goes around wearing the phone so this is the cops pov yeah oh this is a body cam so it's showing him recording everybody else wow university was of washington so he's up there okay i'm sorry it's washington sorry in seattle so that's him huh oh that's in meat rattle yeah oh i thought they were in the south they had a little y'all there and well i think those first ones were in ucla i said it i mean the kid had a ucla shirt so that could have been like those westwood frat houses right yes yeah but yeah like like her he's all over the place yeah he's he's wherever the chariots go right exactly looking for a white chair man wow thank god i mean that is the spirit of her out there for sure for sure yeah i believe in reincarnation i love the late the newscaster's face she's like another crazy person ruining my thing this fucking guy she's look at her she's so over this shit she's like i have to fucking do this story on the frat house it's bad enough yeah crazy that he didn't hit the old lady back that's the part where you're like come on man be be yourself you think so yeah she came at him like she came at him aggressively but would her hit a woman oh just like a sigma kai with a chick the dating yeah he's gonna be like you got 390 likes this is crazy that's it that's it that's all he does just men just lets them know i'm recording you and if anyone ever wears long socks that's his that's his big thing yeah what does he wear long socks he's just like why are you wearing long socks it's fucking stupid you're stupid okay that's pretty great ankle socks only for this guy this is a really cool channel i can't believe you guys uh-oh heavy breathing going up to the really fucking late night food oh and also going towards cops oh yeah that's another hurt that's meth that's meth yeah that's what dr drew always told us yep i'm telling you man i found this and like this is literally they don't have enough officers yeah shit oh i remember that that that bitch right there in the fucking middle i remember her you fucking ugly ass bitch i remember you what let me let me figure out who the hell you are and i'll ruin your fucking life let me get your fucking plate california or montana c0p lv i'm gonna run your fucking plate i'm gonna get all your information i'm gonna get posters this is awesome this is one of the greatest days you will learn about me you will fucking learn about me who the hell do you think you are you will fucking learn about me i like how the cops aren't stopping all your shit who the hell do you think you are all they have to do is go sir fuck off you know bitch who the fuck do you think you are let me get a good picture of your face let me get all your shit sweet yeah that's just a nice kid he's like god bless you it's one of his classic threats he says he's gonna he's gonna run you through facial rick yeah and he's gonna find all your your information and he's gonna post you online and expose you that's cool so cool please keep a close eye on this guy oh yeah um also another angry guy different scenario though right there fucking i'm just chatting in your mouth for a second so we can just have a video without you screaming in the back thank you hey suck my fucking dick hey let's be respectful hey suck my fucking dick you bitch fuck you you bitch you're just gators bitch fuck you what is wrong with fuck you you bitch show me your titties you dumb fucking bitch i'm on a boat what the fuck are you gonna do i'm fucking free bitch i'm free disrespect me you bitch yeah fuck you shut the fuck up and look the other way you bitch what is going on like who's videoing the he's this guy's trying to video the croc and then or whatever i always get it mixed up yeah bitch yeah you dumb bitch you know who the fuck you're talking to sharing a boat with this fucking guy i would be so upset i know you know who the fuck you're talking to right now i'm done now i'll leave the hostel you think i'm gonna get disrespected from some dumb bitch i'm the fucking king of this boat i'm the biggest thing on this boat i'll take all fucking nine of you bitches for that fucking dumb right there fucking who the fuck you think you're goddamn talking to you dumb bitch i'm fucking push him in the way yeah i'm sorry about that what do you do in that i don't know what do you fucking do the guys throwing beer cans at your head the cool thing would be if somebody would hit him into the water that would be the best that would be the that would have been the sweetest moment of this video somebody just fucking hits him and then he goes off and then a gator comes in there like it's gone because i if if reincarnation is real i might go out that way pushing this off a boat yeah him falling getting eaten by a gator yeah i go to jail i might kill myself in jail yeah whatever it'd be worth it it's fine to do that guy in sure being a bitch like this scaring women and stuff i mean that's i mean that's yeah that's and it looks like they're abroad somewhere right yeah yeah where is this like does it say where it is australia no no yeah we don't have it but not america definitely yeah well yeah it's cool how americans act when they're abroad it's always nice yeah until they got tagged with crazy american has breakdown and there's nobody down there actually does it does the name him does it actually do they figure it out you know somebody oh but it says crazy american so yeah foreign i just mean that his bio said florida oh yeah right yeah scroll down see if anything else jumps out yeah it's like we know his name is john yeah got it um yeah see push him no it would be attempted murder but it would be worth it this infuriated me yeah it sucks and find him yeah yeah i don't think it's that nick guy though that's pretty wild bro that's really crazy he really lost his very exciting um all right gene it's time to go through what you've been pulling for us so here here you go where is it there we go i heard you was looking for me here i go all right so here's what you've been pulling and hopefully it's going to be a nice ride right that's all i know that's fun those are fun this is this should have been in last week's episode but halloween this is in baltimore it's a good prank that's fun for those listening it's a guy in a michael myers mask pulling up next to people in traffic that's really fun oh that guy's so high he was like that's so funny dude that's great that's really fun yeah that's pure simple fun yeah it's a good one that's really and then he also has like the mega horn yeah like the horn blaster thing so people are more scared i might do this with the kids that's fun in the car they would love they would love this prank they wouldn't like it done to them but they'd love to watch yeah i might do this this is too fun you know what's crazy i outlived ozzy i outlived hulk hogan i outlived macho man randy savage jesus i may be homeless but i'm alive i love life that one actually made me happy that's a really good perspective yeah yeah he's probably done a lot of drugs so many look at his poor little face yeah but i like that he's out in the sunshine riding his bicycle and he said i might be homeless but i'm still alive i love life it's pretty cool right life affirming i'm not usually like that but that's yeah very strange departure for you but yes i like that one good good job yeah okay where's the next fucking one tom i've been hanging out with this dude for a little while didn't know he was freaking married first of all yeah man he hadn't been fooling around and shit my pussy broke out in a fucking rash so that was fucking something serious so i went so i went to the fucking urgent care told him what was going on so they made me pee in a cup run some tests i thought it was something serious they run some tests on me and everything it turns out it's just a bacteria infection so they gave me some medicine everything's gonna be fine yeah aren't you happy bud has a happy ending fuck any would you on your most desperate your darkest hour bro you could i'd rather honestly i'd be gay before this holy shit well that's a ymh exclusive where's the sound effects for that everything else after this wow honest cats eating kibble chips in a bowl this is a ymh exclusive i never and he's now gay you heard it here first holy shit so that's how bad this is this is the worst thing you've ever seen in your life literally in my head i was just thinking who the fuck smashed this who who did that there's no way man and this this is also to what i also you know i i'm sorry i just have to say this there's young men out there some even not so young that are frustrated i can't get laid i can't get laid i just want to get you can get laid you can get laid there's someone out there that'll fuck you you you're just not putting yourself in enough situations it's a numbers game but also remember last episode with ryan we were asking who is having sex with the pudding guy yeah i'm thinking the love match here i think you might see the pudding guy and go like i'm connecting some dots you like that baby his dirty tongue orange yeah she would though she nasty as hell she liked that oh man it was but it's just a bacterial infection it's fine it's fine you just take some drugs we're all good now yeah stupid whoa hell motherfucking yeah damn y'all oh yeah that's the shit i just like those that was badass yeah that was good that's a good roll he did a good front yeah yeah dude you threw he threw his shoulder down the way you're supposed to that's a jujitsu yeah and he didn't you know land on his head or neck it was perfectly executed big man could do it right yeah dude this guy fucking crashes he kind of crazy enough he kind of looks like her all right here's the next one hey you guys know when you guys catch a cool little buzz and then you got the munchies for you about to eat some food i'm about to eat some food right now i caught a cool little buzz you know yeah i fucking love her so much i know i miss la for you i want you obsessed with me i love her i miss la just for this so great i fucking love cholas dude fool i forgot about this guy it's crazy because this is who people should fear the most you know easily we still haven't had a blink yet or a purpose to the talk that was 15 seconds no blink just dolls that had the same expression that he has don't you think that the fbi should just go through tiktok and find these accounts you don't think they're aware of him straight in i'm sure they have a whole fucking file on this i would hope so just bang the door down just find the bodies find the bodies find the bodies yeah yeah he's got women that look like that in his house oh yeah imagine a breath on that mouth we've been married 13 years in two and a half months i want to be a hundred years old she's loving life i've never seen a more beautiful woman in my life than this one i never walked up to a stranger and i never walked up to a stranger and i never walked up to a stranger and i was backstage at the emmys i guess sag awards i was just waiting to go on she walked by without even thinking i jumped up and said hi i'm dick and i found out she was a makeup lady hired her and now we've been married 13 years and i couldn't be happier happy birthday sweetheart thank you thank you for coming to my birthday party they brought me a cake oh you want to sing happy birthday to me again happy birthday okay so thank you for coming to my birthday party you're married dummy i know you don't think he's gonna come to your birthday so that means they met when he was 86 yeah and she was 41 right so imagine you basically meeting an 86 year old who's like hello hey i noticed your lipstick oh and that's why she but she was going how old are you 80 what well she also didn't have to go how old are you she looked at him she was like oh here's a guy on death's door of course he's 86 of course and she's like oh dude i have to put in maybe a handful of bgs bjs yeah he's gonna be out of here in no time he's got tops she was probably thinking like two years yeah dude you know and now he's like no i turned a hundred she's like that's great are you happy you're here at the party do you want to sing again my birthday to you this poor woman holy fuck she's put in the time who's uncle at the top and auntie at the bottom is this this shit god damn donkey kong booty huh you like that one that was great who's uncle at the top and auntie on the bottom that's crazy bro this is a message for the fbi i am no longer at my house i am no longer occupying my domicile you will not find me i am loose i have all my devices with me good to know good to know but like i mean i guess if the fbi is checking your tiktok account that works yeah if the fbi is like hey we see what chuck's up to today yeah someone's like he's not home anymore and he's got all his devices yeah but just chuck just so you know i reposted this as a story on my instagram and you tagged the fbi right of course yeah of course of course that's who i want on me is the fbi feds check them out that's who i want here we go here you go what made you think that was a good shirt to wear to court this morning that's all you can find that's all the only shirt you had in your closet world's best farter that's great no it says i can read it i read it i see what it says at the bottom you're in felony court you need to dress appropriately to felony court and that's not appropriate no no i saw what it says i mean father there's also like a direct correlation between how you end up in felony court and what you think you should wear to court you know like there's a reason you're there and you're probably like what yeah there's a disconnect in logic yeah yeah yeah he was just i mean shit oh like really you never stopped for a blink of an eye in the mirror i thought you'd wear your fart shirt to fucking felony court all right cool man could you imagine isn't isn't there a law against that no showing up disrespectfully in front of a judge it's not a law it's not a law you should be penalized for not dressing appropriately in court you get penalized by the judge's discretion so the judge feels like it is a complete insult to her and her court so she's going to dress him down which is what she's doing it just reminds me of the guy remember the guy who was like oh sorry you're on he was doing the video one and he's like hey um you have a like a failure to appear and you have a revoked license are you driving right now and the guy's like i just parked he's like yeah you can't drive he's like oh you see his like his shoulders drop he's like shit he just forgot he forgot i mean yeah it can happen you get convicted of a thing and yeah his was your conviction i don't think it was felony court but this is why this dude might be you know this could be a serious crime oh for sure i wear my fart shirt stand before the judge today well i think they should fine you for showing up in court like this and they should fine you on airplanes for showing up in your fucking pajamas what kind of fines you're talking about something small 100 bucks if you show up in your fucking pajamas and and slip slips yeah you should you either got to go home and change and wear normal clothes or flight clothing is appalling get the fuck out of here it's really crazy you can put on pants dude i know i know you don't need to wear a bikini on the fucking plane oh this was fun but we gotta wrap we still have a full day i know um this was a lot of fun i love you and i don't love your glasses i wish you would choose different frames so i can go back to wearing mine that are you got cool neil brennan's on today those are not don't fuck see this is the problem i want my old glasses back it's my look and you stole it it's my look everybody knows i wore those before you did fuck and i can't find a pair that i like as much just have to deal with it bro um shout out to uh diabetes barbie and thank you all for oh my god that was synergy we both did it at the same time beautiful moment it was a beautiful moment um and yeah we'll see you out there um soon what is this this comes out november feat in a few days in a week i'll be in the milwaukee area oh my god um the saturday shows are sold out but i think there's still tickets for the friday show if you want to come and milk donkey it's milk donkey and it's going to be on netflix all right bye my lipstick i love you bye see you next time you vocal vocal you you Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah - Disorder. - Disorder. - Disorder. - Disorder. - Disorder. - Disorder. - She's a little vocal fighter. - She's a little vocal fighter.