Dial M-M-R for Murder

This is Dr. Laurie Santos from the Happiness Lab. Research on the science of happiness consistently points to the importance of social connection. The quality of the time you spend together matters a lot. We need social experiences that make us feel present and in the moment. That's why I've been thinking about how I can turn more of my shared experiences into rituals. Think setting a beautiful table and making even the little moments feel a bit special. These days, I've been using the Berry Serving Platter from Simon Pierce. It's a hand-thrown piece of pottery with a weight and character that tells you that someone made this. Its shape is asymmetrical, a little unexpected. It's the kind of thing that earns a second look when it hits the table. A piece that's unique enough to remind me to be a bit more present, even when I'm just having an everyday dinner. That's what Simon Pierce has been doing for nearly 50 years, making glass and pottery by hand in the United States that bring something genuine to the moments that matter. Pieces designed to be used. Passed down and present for every gathering they're part of. If you're setting a table for the people you love, it's worth starting here. See all my favorite designs at SimonPierce.com. That's S-I-M-O-N-P-E-A-R-C-E dot com. Simon Pierce. Made by hand, one at a time. This is Matt Rogers from Lost Culture East. That's with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. This is Bowen Yang from Lost Culture East. You know when people try a new food and suddenly it's like, wait. That's the reaction. That's the reaction a lot of people are having when they first try Kewpie mayo. It's the one with the red cap and the little baby on the bottle. You've probably seen it in the grocery store before. And if you've ever just walked past it, some people would say that's a huge mistake. Because this mayo is different. Most mayonnaise uses whole eggs. Kewpie only uses egg yolks, which gives it this rich umami flavor. It's smoother, deeper, and almost buttery. Once people try it, they start putting it on everything. Egg sandwiches, fries, burgers, some vans even. I swear by dipping pizza crust in it. And once you notice it, you start seeing it everywhere. Chefs use it. Restaurants use it. People who really care about flavor use it. Never tried it? Grab the bottle with the red cap next time you're at the store. Put it on just about anything. Then you'll understand. Kewpie, the original Japanese mayonnaise. Kewpie, the original. Welcome to Love It or Leave It, live from Hollywood. I'm John Lovett. We've got a great show for you tonight. But first, let's get into it. What a week. On Monday, Trump, alongside vaccine denier RFK Jr., signed an executive order aimed at reducing the number of vaccinations recommended for children and delaying the shots they do receive over a longer period of time. Why? Well, let's have Dr. Trump explain it. Mr. President, I think I heard you say that the MMR vaccine for measles, mumps, and rubella is quite lethal. Is there any evidence of that? No. What I've heard is that there are some people that say it is that way. And I say, well, let's say there's a 5% chance of it. Let's split it up. Now, he's not saying who he heard it from, but as a hint, imagine it's Tom Waits if he swallowed a bike chain and loved cholera. Trump also made this odd claim. I've seen proof of it, where they have a vaccination that looks like the size of a bottle of soda poured into a little child's body, and bad things happen. Famously, the hardest part of being a parent is when you have to pour two liters of vaccine into your baby like you're filling an ice cube tray. For the record, children's vaccines tend to have about half a milliliter or a tenth of a teaspoon worth of liquid. Oh, but that doesn't bother you, Libs. Trump puts a half a milliliter of liquid into a teenager on Epstein's Island, and you all lose your fucking minds. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. It was a tough one, but you did okay. Thank you for bearing with me. That was an important joke. A moral joke. Trump repeated his claims Tuesday on Real America's Voice. Did you ever take a look? It looks like a Coca-Cola bottle. You know, it's like they're pumping this massive amount of fluid into a child's body. And then sometimes you get to the doctor and you ask for a Coca-Cola vaccine, and the doctor says, is a Pepsi vaccine okay? And you're like, never mind, I'll die of measles. Trump also repeated his bizarre claims about the MMR vaccine. MMR. If you give them separately, the M, the M, and the R, it's fine. Put them together, they're sort of like a nuclear weapon, according to some. Right then and there, Trump, what's the M, what's the M, what's the R? Tell us what you think they are, right now. I'll vote for you, I'll support you, president for life, what's the M, what's the M, what's the R? Now this is all just made up. There is no benefit to separating out the doses. It's actually been tried, and all that happens is a lot of kids don't get all three because you have to go to the doctor three times. It's not hypothetical. They actually tried this in Japan. The vaccines were split, and as a result, a lot of kids ended up with the fucking mumps. But don't worry, I'm sure Americans are more disciplined and better at following the rules than the fucking Japanese. See, that joke would have been unacceptable in woke one. And now here we are, having a good time, laughing about stereotypes. And I apologize. Republican Senator Bill Cassidy posted, quote, I'm a doctor, this executive order is wrong. The president does not have the expertise to make these changes. Vaccines are overwhelmingly safe. Vaccines are effective. Vaccines do not cause autism. Cassidy voted to confirm RFK Jr. after accepting his reassurances that he wasn't anti-vax, even though he was proudly and consistently anti-vax. It would be like accepting Krang's assurances. He doesn't want to conquer the earth and kill the Ninja Turtles. Bitch, that's his whole fucking thing. Krang's gonna krang. Sounds like RFK Jr. too, a little bit. Kennedy also lied. He said he'd, maintain the vaccine advisory panel's recommendations. He then fired all 17 members of the panel. He said he supported the childhood vaccination schedule, which has now been gutted. He explicitly said he would not divert or cut vaccine funding, then pulled billions from local vaccination programs and shut down half a billion dollars in exciting revolutionary mRNA research, which holds the promise of vaccines for diseases from HIV to cancer. From the way RFK is acting, you'd think these are the shots that took out his dad and uncle. He did okay on that one too. Speaking of dangerous shots, in July, the New York Times reported that Trump flew on the old Air Force One while leaving Turkey because his new Qatari plane lacked the defensive capabilities necessary to protect the president. This was in response to what was reportedly a credible threat that Iran would fire a missile at the president's plane. A welcome change of pace after a few days of eating Turkish food, you'd expect it to be Trump who's dropping the bombs on Air Force One. Now we learn that the new Qatari plane is a threat to the president's life. We learn, according to the Washington Post, that Trump was not on either plane. And after very publicly boarding the old Air Force One, the Secret Service secretly snuck Trump out of the other side of the plane and onto a catering truck, which you can see there. Oh my God, is this where food comes from? Is this a farm, said Trump, marveling at all the snacks? The catering vehicle then covertly drove Trump to yet a third, smaller plane, which we can see there. That plane, which Secretary Hegseth had, already publicly boarded, then flew to the United Kingdom. Interestingly, Secretary Hegseth was somehow stuck inside of a drink cart, but that seems to be unrelated to any kind of a security threat. Here's the thing. The unwitting journalists and White House staff aboard Air Force One weren't told about the threat or that Trump wasn't on the plane. What is he doing in there, asked White House Press Secretary Stephen Chung around minute 90 of waiting outside Air Force One's good bathroom. When the press pool later asked the president why they had been told to close their window shades on the flight, Trump responded, quote, because you're probably on a dangerous flight because of the sleazebags that we have to deal with, which are also the words I use anytime I fly Frontier. Trump then added, quote, but if I go, you go, right? Before suggesting that, quote, perhaps someday you want to change professions. This is what he said to journalists who had no idea they were basically used like rodeo clowns. Here's how they covered it on Fox News. It reminds me a little bit of Taylor Swift in the middle of the heiress tour when she was going to the Chiefs game. Do you remember when they were sneaking her out in the popcorn cart twice? They did it again. That was real? I thought that was it. Very real. Okay. Do whatever it takes to keep Taylor Swift happy. She had those heiress tour concerts. But nonetheless, the media outrage is crazy on this. Do what you gotta do to keep the president safe. One problem, Taylor didn't have a decoy tour bus filled with unsuspecting backup dancers that she thought might get hit by a plane. Or hit by a rocket-propelled grenade. Also, the government does not have the right to use journalists as decoys like this without their knowledge because this is a democracy and private citizens aren't expected to sacrifice their lives for the dear leader while eating a little bag of pretzels and drinking a ginger ale. When Bill Clinton flew into Pakistan in 2000, the White House also used a decoy plane. But that decoy was smaller so as to put fewer people at risk. Reporters and the president flew separately. And according to new reporting, the White House actually briefed Susan Page than the press. President of the Correspondents Association about the ruse advance. Ironically, this was a rare time when a woman was warned about not being next to Bill Clinton on a plane. And speaking of travelers who put their needs above everyone else, according to passengers on a small cruise ship, Mark Zuckerberg's $300 million yacht did not respond to a recent distress call from a nearby vessel, which had run out of fuel near the coast of Alaska. They reportedly ignored the distress signal because they mistook it for a suicidal teenage girl. I met a spokesperson later said that Zuckerberg's yacht called the launch pad did not hear the signal until after the vessel had been rescued by the passing cruise ship. According to a passenger on that cruise, after the captain announced that Mark Zuckerberg's yacht had not responded, quote, there was near unanimous booing. Everybody on board then had a good laugh and died of hantavirus. All right, we have got a great show for you tonight and we'll be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It, coming up. This episode is sponsored by the International Rescue Committee. Right now, there are millions of children struggling to survive in conflict zones around the world, like Sudan and Gaza. They're not only facing hunger, but also unsafe water and little or sometimes no access to basic health care. That's why the work of the International Rescue Committee is more important than ever. They're on the ground in some of the most vulnerable places in the world, helping families access food, medical care, clean water and support for new moms and babies. They even train local health care workers so care reaches those who might otherwise be completely cut off. You can help the IRC support even more children in need for a limited time. All donations are matched to rush 2X the emergency aid, help save a child's life. Give now at rescue.org slash rebuild. That's rescue.org slash rebuild. Love It or Leave It is brought to you by Simply Safe. Here's the thing about traditional home security systems. 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Celebrate their anniversary and save 60% on your new Simply Safe system at simplysafe.com slash loveit. That's 60% off at simplysafe.com slash loveit. Plus, when you order, write love it or leave it in the how did you hear about us survey to let them know we sent you. Don't forget, there's no safe like Simply Safe. And we're back. We'll be joined by the great Lisa Trigger in a moment. But first, friends of the pot, we're very excited to see so many of you at CrookedCon. But a for those who have not yet bought one of the limited number of friends of the pod tickets for CrookedCon, they are selling out. There are just a few left. If you want to take advantage of the discount and get the perks that come along with being a friend of the pod, you have to grab your tickets now. If you're not yet a paid subscriber, you get this ticket for CrookedCon, but you also get subscriber only content like Pod Save America only friends. You get exclusive access to a bunch of our sub stack newsletters. You get Pod Save America only tabs. You get a polar coaster with Dan Pfeiffer. There's a lot of great stuff that you only get as a subscriber, plus ad free episodes, plus you're supporting independent pro-democracy media that you can trust. So please go to CrookedCon.com to get your ticket and to join friends of the pod. And if you're in L.A., get tickets to see us live at Crooked.com slash events. We are always adding new guests. Check out our lineup, including Congressman Ted Lieu and hilarious actor Jim Rash from Community and Political Commentator David Pakman from The David Pakman Show. They'll all be here on Thursday. All right. Now, please welcome to the stage. One of my favorite standups and the first person I would call if I was accused of murder is Lisa Traeger. Hi. Good to see you. Come on through. Hell yeah. Hi. Hello. Hi. Now, obviously, look, you're a triple threat. Yes. All right. Because you're a comedian. Yeah. You're a true crime aficionado. Yeah. And you're an international backgammon competitor. And an actress. And an actress. No, I. And a dancer. And you were saying a trans swimmer. Yeah. I was on the swim team in high school, though. Were you really? Yeah. Yeah. You could probably tell I just did butterfly. It's the most difficult one. I was on one episode of Survivor. But my swimming was bad enough that it is often brought up to me in public. All right. Now, my dream is to do Survivor. I know you did it. And I still wouldn't learn how to build a fire. And I don't give a fuck. Well, I'll tell you this much. Was it my problem? Yeah. Surviving amongst the world. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. The wild was not the issue so much as talking to people, which I feel like I should have known going in. But well, my goal would be to be so annoying that people would drag me to be the goat. You know what I mean? Yeah. It wasn't annoying enough. I suppose I was in that that uncanny valley of being usually kick off a woman real quick. But yeah, I have a feminine energy now back to you backgammon competitive international. What? Yeah, I did just play in the world championships in. But I had an in because we were filming stuff, working on a doc podcast thing. So I didn't have to pay the thousands of dollars that you have to pay. So the stakes were lower for me. But I was training with Mark Olson, a grandmaster, and he runs the world championships and this app. And so he trained me for a few months, not prepared. I was losing. I won one game against an engineer and that felt really incredible. And I played with people with decades of experience. I played with some of the world's best players. Grandmasters. I learned a lot. And then I had two devastating losses, like humiliating, humiliating. So I'm training for the New York tournament in January. So let's we have a clip of you playing. Oh, my God. Yeah, that's Mochi. It's a world champion. Yeah, it's really funny because like I didn't know he existed. And then when I was there, every time I saw him, I was like, it's Mochi. But I never knew about that man before. Oh, my God. This is so fun. And you did lose. I did lose. But he has the lowest error rate of any player in the world, which is like two point something like they all are obsessed with him. He is really funny. Like he was so funny and silly, but he's a he's a professional and he was awesome. And I learned some really good moves from him. And it was in Monte Carlo. Yeah. Which is kind of where James Bond plays Baccarat. Yeah. It's a tax haven for oligarchs. And it's pretty disgusting. I saw a yacht with a helicopter on top of it. I saw a lot of like rich children with iPads. I saw a lot of mini Burke and Kelly's a lot of sex workers who are not allowed to really speak. So it sounds cool. Yeah. There was a lot of doubt. But there were everyone was hot, like a lot of hot people. I love like the ballet guys were like the hottest guys I'd ever seen. So just to back up. But I'll tell you, it's so expensive there. I had a chicken Caesar salad, a Peroni, and I got an iced coffee to go. And it was eighty nine euros. Wow. That's cool. Yeah. That's like a fucked up place. So that's. And of course, the Russians are the most tacky on the whole goddamn strip of land. She almost goes without saying. But yeah. So now. But why do you backgammon? You have an obsessive quality. You get into something because like, you know, it can be it can be a public murder or it can be a game of sorts. So like you're able to play competitive backgammon. Were you always playing backgammon? So I always played with my father like I've been playing backgammon my whole life with my family. And then my nephews play. So like I've always played casually or like here and there. And what are the triangles for? That's like how you move. It's like each step and you're trying to get your babies all the way home. And you want to and you're trying not to get hit by the other people or you have to start over. But like I was playing with my dad casually and I met a lot of people that like learned with their grandparents and parents. And then once you start learning the game, which I'm new to, that's when you're like, oh, my God, I'm going to get hit by the other people. My dad had no idea what's going on. You know, you you realize your parents are flawed. But like, yeah, we would play too safe. Like you have to take risks. So there's there. I've learned like gameplay and how to count. Like I've just learned way more in the last three months than I have in my whole life. So I always thought like, oh, yeah, I love backgammon. But now it's like, oh, fuck, I'm competing against like gambling degenerates. And then people so deep in the spectrum, they're like counting like you won't believe like you won't believe it. A lot of people got all the doses of the MMR. A lot of like extra. I got I have a backgammon tournament. I got to hit me with that rubella vaccine. I got to be on my best game. I want the rotavirus one. I want I want to I want to have B. I want to have C. And it's like a lot of people like, yeah, they move so smooth. It's sexy because I was losing. But the people were building their primes and it does look beautiful. And then you learn about the subcultures. I bought a necklace. I bought like a backgammon necklace. There's always merch. Yeah, there's you get you get deep into something. Then I had to buy new dice because in the middle of a game of this girl comes up to me. I know from New York and she goes, you can't play with those dice because my dice had holes in them, which isn't aerodynamic enough. And so you have to use precision dice where they're painted on. So I did have to buy two sets of dice because you want to do separate color. Yeah, like it wasn't asshole like thinking I was going to come into these tournaments and like do well to these like they've been dedicated for years. Part of you, some part of you thought that you were going to be like Bobby Fish. No, never. You're going to walk in searching by visual like, you know, checkmate, - Checkmate, checkmate, or whatever the fuck. started working with mark olson the grandma one of the grandmasters so once i started working with him and reading his book i realized i have a lot to learn um and so i went and open-minded but then and even some of my losses i learned a lot i didn't make errors like i was doing well the ones i was upset about her where i was sloppy sloppy bad forgot my lessons i don't want to let my teacher down deep down i just want to do a good job you know honestly that feels like the way you said that is a natural segue into another thing you got obsessed with is heated rivalry changed my life changed my life you're you're laughing at me they're laughing it truly changed my life so because it's such a good show yeah because of it because of the the sexual chemistry between the two leads well in hockey yeah yeah but you've like it's like affected like you've taken on hobbies because of this now yeah i start well because i'm russian but i realized like oh i didn't know all the words he used and then i was like i should be doing more russian television so i've been working with a russian professor weekly um to like strengthen my russian and it's actually helped my relationship with my parents because now my mom texts me in russian and i'm learning how to read and write and it's all coming back to me so that's been really great i hadn't read in like 12 years i've now read like 30 books this year just like roaring yeah because she has six books in the series and then she has two other gay hockey books and then that led me to gay historical books by kat sebastian and like they're set in the 50s in new york and now i'm reading james baldwin i mean i can't believe what happened to my life it's like so cool so just on like a given week you're reading james baldwin learning russian mastering back like you think you're better wait you think you're better than me but also like i started hypnotherapy because then i realized i want love and then i was like stopping myself from it because i was so inspired by heat of rivalry so now i'm like i don't know if i'm looking for love i'm i'm on the journey so i hadn't dated in like years so i'm like dating i'm more fun i quit smoking weed all day every day um so i'm not a daily weed smoker anymore it was all because of jacob tierney and these boys and rachel reed god bless her because you were vaguely insulted by the fact that the and your and also seems sounds like quite depressed yeah uh seems like you were in actually a crisis you were in a state of crisis and this show got me out and then and connor's story reaches down and just pulls you up and says my russian accent is embarrassingly good compared to what yours should be and now you're reading james baldwin and going to monte carlo yeah yeah making eye contact with baristas like i'm just out now you know but i was also inspired by just like such a beautiful love story they did such a good job and in terms of like making television such a small budget such like only in 36 days and like they just did something so incredible i love that do you think that if you hadn't if do you think heated rivalry had to be the thing or were you about to start getting better and something was going to be like if you had happened to click over into a different show you'd watch widow's bay would you be in the cape right now learning how to fucking i actually was just in p-town for the first time living um and i was crying in p-town imagining shane and ilia there for the first time because i was like they're gonna like they don't even know the gay life ahead of them like i was just like imagining them in the loving life in p-town have you seen the the the there's been this uh story of a woman a disney adult who travels following peter pan around disney and too obsessive away do you worry that that's something in your future that you'll that all of a sudden connor's story will like kind of open a window shade and there you'll be being like i'm back a game of backgammon perhaps no because i have so i have too much respect for his craft i'd leave him alone i but i plan on like no i think about this all the time what my life would be like and i think about it all the time and i think about the sliding doors if i never watched heated rivalry i really think about it because my life is so different than it was before i watched it and yeah i like i'm curious if i would still be smoking weed all day every day and just depressed and not fucking people off the internet you know and texting my mom in english you know like i just i wonder yeah you'll never know sliding doors uh now you've hosted your podcast that's messed up for nearly six years uh yeah we're about to hit 100 ups this is you go through every episode of law and order svu yeah not in order but the one's based on true crimes yeah and uh you're become a bit of an expert in true crime i i feel like you only have really two settings full honor yeah you're you're not an animal you're you're a digital switch either you're you're not in or you're a hundred percent focused and it feels like true crime is something that like has you it just had me for a while like i always like in fifth grade we went to niagara falls me and my family and i forced them to take me to the serial killer wax and all the photos like they're so upset and i'm quite happy but um i thought i was gonna be a forensic psychologist so it started a long time ago but i'm like too fun of a person to do that and so i found this a new way in where i study a lot and i've come up with my own theories on things and like yeah i learned a lot but it has changed my brain and i ruin the vibes of social gatherings often not my gatherings and you know what that sound means it's time for a game we're calling good riddance hope you had the crime of your life oh uh where we're gonna go through uh a series of questions about true crime uh first up true or false the official scientific term for police analysis of fingerprints is dactyloscopy i don't know it sounds like a dinosaur i don't know i'm gonna say false no it's true okay and uh the broader study of fingerprints is called dermatoglyphics cool cool i learned that just now as a follow-up what australian animal has been found to be the most dangerous animal in the world fingerprints that are nearly identical to humans even under an electron microscope i mean i want to say i'll say koala correct okay can you believe that no i was about to say platypus to like be cooler okay i'm glad i said koala the duckbill platypus looms so large in the mind of a child yeah you don't come across them at all once you're an adult in australia oh that's where they keep them yeah and the beanie baby is one of the more powerful beanie babies oh yeah the purple a lot of energy in that beanie baby next up proposed in 1963 the mcdonald triad are three behaviors said to be predictive of serial violence what are those three behaviors so it's like what people okay like killing animals correct that's one being a peeping tom no um killing animals being a dumb bitch um um what else i don't know setting fires arson that's two of three arson animals not peeping tom huh like isolated like a loner the third is wetting the bed which is like well that's actually i'm really curious because like that's the sign that someone's being abused right so i wonder if that's kind of connected right there's a criminologist that i love where he's like you can be born a and that's like having a gun but then abuse is the trigger that pulls it so i wonder if that's the wetting the bed i wonder how many people do you have to kill over what amount of time to be considered a serial killer this is so funny because i learned this from episode three of heated rivalry um so it has to be like um over three days apart like has to be more than three days separation of the killings it's three or more killings but over the course of one day one month oh one month yeah okay uh ted bundy was arrested multiple times for what before he was finally pegged as a serial killer oh i thought it was gonna be um he was like such a peeping tom i'm gonna be terrible driver correct yeah he was a terrible driver yeah that was what he got arrested for lisa trager go to lisa trager.com for live dates check out her special night owl on netflix yeah please yeah and we'll be right back hey don't go anywhere there's more of love it or leave it coming up love it or leave it is brought to you by hymns losing weight is one thing but feeling your best this summer that's the real goal that's why weight loss by hymns now offers access to fda approved we go v pill and we go v pen we'll go v is designed to help you lose weight sustainably so you can show up this summer feeling like yourself with hymns everything happens online you'll connect with a licensed provider who will determine if treatment 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by select quote life insurance you know you need it but you keep putting it off because you think it's complicated or expensive or that you'll live forever stop telling yourself you'll handle it later and take care of it today with select quote in 15 minutes you get up coverage that fits your life and budget here's what makes select quote different their licensed insurance agents work for you not for the insurance company they compare options across multiple carriers to find you the right coverage at the lowest price you can get coverage at the lowest price you can get They've been doing this for nearly 40 years and have helped over 2 million people find coverage. 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Which of your other four guest star pals, Leslie Bibb, Caitlin Olsen, Cherry Jones, and Laurie Metcalf, would you most like to see lose? Mighty laugh. God, well, I hope they all lose, obviously, right? But, um. Which ones? It's all the ones from Hacks, right? Yeah, those are all the ones from Hacks. There's also Jamie Lee Curtis and Betty Gilpin. I really wanted Jamie Lee Curtis to win, because she seems so good. You know, like such a good person, like, maybe learn about the other side of life. Okay, I hate that for you. You do? Of all the people on this list, I want Jamie Lee Curtis to lose the most, and I'll tell you why. That's what I was saying. Oh, you do? Yes, I was saying her, too. I was saying I wish it could be her, because she's had such a, you know, because she's so. Oh, I just need to win. Maybe cut down to size. I just feel like Jamie Lee Curtis wins an Emmy, it just goes on the fucking shelf. You know what I'm saying? I think for all of them, they're all pretty accomplished. I mean, except for. Well, they're all pretty accomplished. They're all. I mean, they're all. These are not people. You know, I wasn't like, you know. I'm sure. This is one thing I thought when I found out. I was like, I'm sure I'm the only nominee who's driving, like, a 2009 shitty car that the AC just, like, went out on the way here. You know? That is. I'm fairly certain of that. And I'm like, how much does everybody have in their bank account? How much does. Like, I'm sure. Like, these are all women that are probably loved by others. You know? Not that I'm. Just within their own home, like, probably somebody who's like, how are you doing today, honey? You know? Like, I don't have those perks. We should put up a big picture of you on a billboard and just says, she needs this. Yeah. I feel like people sense that. People are, like, saying that to me already. They're just like, oh, Lauren. Oh, God. You. Finally. You deserve it. And I'm like, yeah, I'm, like, this much less an asshole now. Like, now I don't look like an idiot. Oh, these are all your note cards. Do you have your dress picked out? Thanks for asking. No. No. I didn't really. I have, like, a stylist and stuff now. I know, which is so. It's embarrassing. I mean, sorry. I should really. I need to breathe it in. Like, I have a stylist, and I like it, and I deserve it. Yeah. But that's. But I do think. Like, I. Like, it must be, like, you know, you've been. You've had a ton of guest star roles. You have been, like, fucking hustling. Right. And this is a moment where, like, you're getting, like, a ton of acclaim as, like. Well, yeah. You moved your hand and rejected acclaim. I don't know why. I'm just being moody. You're right. It's true. It's true. I'm glad for it. I already got in trouble with, like, HBO. I had to do, like, a special media training thing. Uh-huh. Because they were, like, you're not really mentioning, like, you know, how happy. You know, the show and HBO and stuff like that. And I was, like, well, I think it's a given. I wouldn't be being interviewed, right, if it wasn't for HBO. They were, like, well, it'd be nice if you put something in there, you know, instead of just, like, you know, I'm adopted, and I've had a lot of divorces. You know, they're, like, could you really show the rest of. Or I'll say, like, nobody talked to me a lot of times on the set. But it's because I'm so old. You know, it's. They're not. They don't. You're not. You're not supposed to do. You know? You have to. No, you're supposed to do the. There's a sort of a. There's sort of a set of rules you're supposed to follow. Yes, but I don't like to reveal my more vulnerable emotions like joy. Like, I'm not going to be an asshole again and reveal that. The next thing you know, you're up there, like, I'm so happy. And everyone's like, I bet you aren't now. And I'm like, you're right. Like, I want to keep my arms down and get ready for punches. Or arms up, ready for punches. That was the total opposite. Yes. Right. If your arms are down, you're vulnerable to the punches. Yes, yes, yes. I got it. I got it. I got it. I think this is going well. Hey, did any real-life mayors inspire your character? No, people ask me about that. Because I guess at the time when the show first started, it was based on a little bit of the actual mayor. But I was the celebrity grand marshal of the gay pride parade in Vegas, which I asked them if I could do that. It worked out well. I didn't put celebrity in there. They did. Anyway, but I got to meet the actual Vegas mayor. And she was, no, I didn't get, I liked her, but wasn't inspired. Yeah. That sounds harsh. I don't wish ill on her, obviously. No, no. And no one thought you did, but you're. Just covering it. Just covering it just in case. Cover my bases. No, I think people love to hear, I don't wish any ill, but you're fine. I think it's a great way to fix what you said. So you're in good shape. And I think, honestly, I feel like the media training is working. It's working really well. I know. I feel like you're coming across like a polished, communicative, and I feel like you're coming across like a polished, communications pro i know i know i told him don't worry about i'm a talker yeah yeah like are you inspired by any real life mayors no no no i mean no i looked at i i look because politicians are so much like actors too you know just the ego of just like i don't give a shit i'm sitting here you know like there's a little bit of i just picked up on that well it's interesting though that's funny to think about politicians versus actors because they do have that they have that thing in common which is um uh they're they're they're very there's a neediness and an ego but also a fear of of being seen as being demanding sometimes right and so you get a lot of like um i just like is it cold in here you know as opposed to it's cold in here yeah yeah yeah yeah no you don't want to come off as like stating something that you believe um whether you actually feel yeah there's also there's i remember i was working i was a guest star on a show and cory booker was was dating you Sario Dawson right is that right yeah at the time and so he came on set to visit and stuff and he man did he blend well like he was just so like want just jokey and funny and cute and wanted to be you know uh amongst the you know wanted to be a part of the whole scene i guess i thought he'd be in a i don't know sitting in the back of a car reading books about history or how you know or about the water systems well maybe he's seen heated rivalry and so now he's finally doing that yeah oh i haven't seen heated rivalry that sounds so fucking beautiful you're gonna love it i'm sure i feel like there's something i'm i'm we're now i'm cramming all the emmy stuff so in case i run into people oh what are you watching um well i'm are you gonna test me i started well i started watching beef beef yeah beef beef beef beef beef yeah yeah beef beef i watched it actually when i was in monte carlo i watched all of season two of beef that's a good way to use your time when you're in europe well between two and five in the morning i was that's what i was doing what i think that's okay i think that's all right hey hey what does everyone here need help what do you mean you're just up watching beef from two to three two into five in the morning in monte carlo yeah then when are you sleeping i would sleep until 11 then we would go to the conference room hotel around noon and then we would work until 1 1 30 in the morning and then i'd be back wow but i need to unwind you gotta is that okay yeah yeah i don't know where is it going no yeah i beef well we won't have to get into it's good i like it's good yeah shut up what don't you like i like what no i like it i liked all i like it i like it what shows you hate which was what i hate there's none there's none i'm so in awe of what actors are able to do and they always blow me away the dedication hell yeah hb somewhere somewhere in a pr executive hbo is like i did my job today yeah exactly gotta actually get a little treat for me at the end of the day double stuff oreo for me because i did a good job today yeah does it feel different to be part of a show uh that is like you know you like where so successful the show it's like like yeah it's different right yeah it it it is different because every i didn't i worked on the show like you know maybe every season maybe one or two times sometimes up to up to three um but every time i go there i i'd people were just getting better and better looking first of all season to season everyone's on drag race too right everyone starts making more money is that it and they come back with like veneers yes yes and everyone's just a bit more that's and and and more um sure themselves and and a little more competition i'm just like i have my own special i have two specials i just shot them and i don't have a kidney like they're all like i've done this i mean they're not they're they're all really good people i hope i'm being clear about that no that's good okay um but yeah the and they're all i i remember the the fourth season when i went to go work they'd all just won a golden globe like you know they were just constantly like last night was crazy hi laura lauren um and again that's not what they were really like that's just a comedic portrayal for sure yeah and that's coming across yeah no good yeah because usually i try to bounce if it's a joke but people can't see me yeah yeah yeah a little more yeah yeah so it doesn't come across too serious you know but no i think it's great i mean obviously i don't think i'd be nominated if it wasn't such a hit it's if people noticed it so much so it's such a big hit right i think it i do think it's like a testament though to how good you are on hacks and you are so fucking funny on hacks oh thank you i just want to pay you a direct compliment thank you thank you so funny and you make you may like you make such a like i think sometimes there's like especially that like people that have like kind of when they show up as like a big famous guest star and they make a meal of it it's a little bit like all right out of the way i'm trying to watch my show right yes yes but but you are you make every you bring such a like unexpected comedic energy to every scene you're in and it's so every choice you make is so surprising and funny and interesting and not what i think anyone else would do if you're given that same role which is and i think it speaks to that that you're in the running with this group of like like like big time celebs amazing amazing yes i know it is sort of i do feel like i snuck in where i'm just like how did i was super shocked too and were you shocked yeah i wasn't yeah definitely and i got worried about how will i i immediately because i'm neurotic like that where i was like how am i gonna take this all like taking so many compliments like i'm like thank you thank you how did i i can't like it how did i how was this for you it was good because i didn't know how you felt about me anyway i couldn't quite read you and so then when you're really like i want to tell you something right now i then i was like oh i think he means it it felt like you meant it i did well honestly i felt like i had to do that to get over whatever's happening between us is it no but i really i really and there's this is cool i really First of all, there's got to be a part of you that's like, like, hey, like, I've fucking been here. I've been funny the whole goddamn, like, you know what I mean? Like, oh, you're noticing that I'm hilarious now? I've been funny the whole fucking time. Yeah, well, I had some, you know, dips. But I guess what I feel like is that now I'm ready, like, even just dealing with the, I mean, doing publicity and that kind of stuff, and stuff that I normally would be like, I don't know how to, like, it's, I feel ready for it. I feel super grateful. Like, I do feel very, because I'm, you know, 57. I am sort of like, wow, I feel less, the first thought I had was like, oh, my God, I feel a little bit less of an asshole. Because I felt like as a guest star, most of my friends who had to give it up, they're just like, we can't survive. You know, there's not enough money in this. And I was like, well, I'll just keep going because someday double sixes. Like, I just kept, you know, even though I'm not making enough money, it wasn't. But so it felt so nice to suddenly just not feel like an asshole, that it all had sort of, and that I got to do a part where they let me do, they just let me do what I want to do. And there's some lines. But they really give you a lot of leeway. And I have a lot of pent up energy where I was like, well, I could cut me off when you want me. Like, I can go and go and go. So I was ready for it, that part. It was a good fit. Now, how is, like, you were on The Daily Show in 2000. Yeah, ew. Not you, but ew, right? So long ago. Yeah, yeah, time. Yeah, that's what I mean. Ew, yeah, it's alarming every time. It is a long time. Yeah, totally. I referred, made a reference to Mayor Rudy Giuliani, and someone in the audience did say, I don't remember that, I'm 28. Oh. And I was like, oh, yeah, 28 isn't old enough to remember the stories I remember from the early part of my own. Yes. Adulthood. Yes, yes, yes, I've been through that. What was it, what did you learn from that? Like, that was very early in The Daily Show. Jon Stewart had just taken over, I believe. Yes, that's right. What was it like? Just a blessing. Um, it was, it was, well, when I first got there, people were like, I was, oh, God, I'm like, Lauren, what do you, um, when I first got there, people were saying, like, there's not a lot of women on the show, they don't tend to do super well, like, it's just not a great environment for that, but just be cool, don't ask a lot of questions, and don't, don't, you know, touch him, or that sort of thing. Or like. Sure. Well, like, because I, not, I wasn't like, here he comes, I'm going to touch him. No. No, Lauren, I'm going to touch him, I'm going to touch him. I wasn't like. Yeah. Insane. It is a bad sign when someone at work tells you not to touch people. Yeah, yeah, that's why I wanted to be clear, I wasn't actually told that until after I touched him. After I'd worked there a while, yeah. But no, it was, it was a, I never had a TV, my first TV job, and so I suddenly went from, like, being a theater person to being in this, like, super cool show, and I was just in anxiety the entire time about not, about playing it too cool. I got, I got brought into the producer's office because they were like, Jon feels like you're treating this like it's a walk in the park, like, you could take it or leave it. And I was like, he does? And I was, well, I got to go tell him. And I, so I see him, I'm like, Jon, I saw you kiss, and everyone's like, don't, no, don't do that, don't do that. Like, stop going, and so I, I was, I don't do that. Okay, I sit here, and like, don't, don't sit here, don't come in unless you know, like, you have to come in every day, but don't come in every day. That kind of stuff, where I was like, I don't, I don't, you know, I found it really hard to figure out where to be in that show. Though I always loved it, and I always loved Jon. I was also hungry for. And no, I was assuming I must be doing something wrong, so I'm sort of, I couldn't, I didn't handle it that way. Because they were, I, when she would say that to me, I'd be like, right, right, be more grateful, be more grateful. Okay, I got to tell him more things about myself, I think. Okay, like, I did every sort of wrong choice. It was great to be a part of that show. Though I was always a big dummy. I didn't know who Kofi Annan was. Did Kofi Annan know who Kofi Annan was? Oh my God, that's what, that's what I always think when I say that. And, all right, we got it. Now, all right, we'll be right back. Okay. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Love It or Leave It is brought to you by Mint Mobile. When we were kids, summer meant freedom. No homework, no teachers, no school. And as adults, summer still means freedom, thanks to Mint Mobile's summer sale. And also, we assume you still don't have homework, teachers, or school either, which is pretty great. 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Greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy, including up to 20 gigabyte hotspot. Capable device required. Availability, speed, and coverage varies. See mintmobile.com. This is Dr. Research shows that social connection is important for happiness. And something that research comes back to again and again is that the little moments together matter more than we think. And that's why I'm such a big fan of rituals. Think about the glassware you use for all your dinner parties. Ones that make your events feel right without even thinking about it. And that's why I've been using the Woodstock Tumbler from Simon Pearce. They're hand-blown one at a time. With the kind of character you only get from a human hand. Something made that slowly has a way of reminding you to savor the moments that really matter. Find yours at simonpearce.com. S-I-M-O-N-P-E-A-R-C-E dot com. Simon Pearce. Because this mayo is. It is different. Egg sandwiches, fries, burgers. Some fans even swear by dipping pizza crust in it. Chefs use it. Restaurants use it. Never tried it? In Hudson. Come early on the 28th for the show on the 29th. Oh, that's an awesome way to spend it. Thank you, yes. And catch Lisa on Survival of the Thickest on Netflix. Ooh. Which is exciting. All right. Now it's time for the rant wheel. Here's how it works. We spin a wheel wherever it lands. We talk about the. Nope, that's how it used to work. Wherever it lands, that person rants for a bit, which will be all of us. The wheel. The wheel serves no function. When you actually think about it. We're in year 10 of this show, and we never cracked how to use the fucking wheel. It used to be the wheel had topics. on it, which kind of makes sense, and it would land on there, but then that would just be the topic someone said they were going to rant, so the wheel served no purpose. It was fake. Right. Then we abandoned that altogether, and now it just has our faces on it. But you don't want to let it go. No. That's good. Let's spin the wheel. No! It's land on Lauren. What is your topic? You have 60 seconds. I have 60 seconds. My topic is about how women are aging women. I know it's already like snoring, at least. When I was younger, I would make fun of women who were trying to, you know, still got it. I would make fun of that, or if they were complaining all the time, like, you know, I need a special mat, because my knees are allergic to broccoli, or whatever. I just thought every weakness was like, oh my god, and now I realize how unfair that was. And I'm like, why wasn't it instilled earlier to show a little bit of respect for the elder wise ladies of the world? Like, why is it always, like, why I'm part of the problem. I'm part of the rant too, is that I'm sick of my own judgment about, like, even if I put on, sometimes I put on, like, a little bit too much makeup, I'll be like, wipe it off old lady, what are you trying to prove? You know, and I think, well, I don't want to feel that way about myself, but there's you know, you know how it is. And even in the dating world too, I have friends who are the same age, on the same dating app, but will never run across each other, because they've set their age thing so much lower, you know? Yeah, thank you for listening. That's a stare. I remember when I was single, and I asked the crowd at a Love It or Leave It show, I was like, you remember, I said to the crowd, I was like, I am 40, what should my age range be? And they all said something like 27 to 53. And then I was like, wait, but how many of you actually think my age range should be set to 53, or are you just telling me what you think you're supposed to say about the range? You want the range above to be equal to the range below, because you want to feel better about yourself. Right, well, that's nice they even thought to do that. My friends are just like, ugh, don't go over 52. So that's nice, that's a good, you've got quality people around you. I'm sorry that upset you. No, no, it's a good point about them. Yeah. A good group of people. I know, it's just tough. You know what? You don't want to have to be taking people to medical appointments, you know? But then who's going to love the people who need medical appointments? Their own age. Their own age. Yeah, I guess that's true. These men in their 50s trying to snatch a young gal, and then she's got to take care of them, and I don't like that for them. No, I know. I'm always like, enjoy the great pubic hairs. To some of my exes. To some of my exes, where I'm like, have fun with that. But here's the thing. But I do believe in everyone dressing and partying how they want. Yeah. Absolutely. And to the old age. Yeah. I mean, great pubic hairs are the goal. It's that or death. Let's spin it again. It's a blessing. Wheezy, you're up. Okay. Listen, this might seem obvious, but it's not. But if you're at the theater, shut your fucking mouth. Why are you talking? Why are you talking? What are you doing? You talk after the show. There's not even an intermission. It's a 90-minute show. It's just like, I've been fighting with people for so long, and I'm sick of yelling, and I'm sick of people talking, and then I have to. You're ruining my time. If it's dark, and there's a light on one person over there, that's the only person that should be speaking. And also, you can just laugh. You don't actually have to look at the person next to you and like, should we be laughing? Just like, laugh, shut your mouth, and keep it moving. It just like, sickens me. I think I gotta keep talking. Well, I was humiliated recently. I did go to an off-Broadway show, and I was yelling at the people in front of me to shut up, and then I realized it was the aunt and the cousins of the performer. And then we were the only ones left in the house seats to meet the performer after, and she's like, come say hi, it's my family. I go, it got volatile. So, of course, I feel bad. I yelled at this person's family, but it's like, shut the fuck up. Like, I don't understand. It really. I don't get it either. I don't get that either. People spend so much money, time getting babysitters, paying for parking, like, getting these tickets, getting to this show, and then you're by a babbling motherfucker. Like. How does. How do people not know that? I'm also surprised. No, and they act like I'm crazy when I react. Well, there's this. I had to yell at someone at the Kacey Musgraves concert. I had to yell at someone at a screening of the movie Fire Island that was then gonna be on Hulu in three hours. It's like, you could've watched shit at home. You could've watched shit at home. There's something about. I see it, like, that there's. People have no attention span. We've all ruined our brains. Um, and so people are in the theater and they know. Like, even. Like, there are people that are just rude. There are rude people. There's always been rude people. There's a certain kind of new. I always, like, could've, like, a soft rudeness where it's like, I know I should be quiet, but I just wanna say one thing. And it's like, no, bitch. That's the one thing you can't do. Not just one thing. It's. You failed. It's two hours, quiet the whole time. If you were to talk one time, you didn't kind of do it. You fucked up. Shut the fuck up. Nobody wants your comment. Save it. And when it's positive, like, I saw a play and they kept going, she's incredible. Oh my god, this is good. And it's like, just. You can say it after. Like, she's still gonna be good. It's really fucking crazy. It's so crazy. I went to go see a show, doesn't matter where, but I'll just give the address. No, just kidding. But they. I was with a friend in the middle of it, full voice. She goes, I feel like I'm watching, like, a bad acting class. And I was like, oh my god, that was for. I also sort of admire the fact that when people don't cannot. have no awareness of others around them. That's always mesmerizing to me. Oh yeah, I have another rant. Just don't wear cologne on a fucking flight. How about that? Yeah, that's dumb, too. So crazy. Let's spin it again. So crazy. Isn't it all kind of preset, or. Yeah. Okay. Look, I'm gonna get. There's too many pasta shapes. And I know it's just like. And here's the thing about it, is I'm in. What bothers me about it is not that there's so many pasta shapes. In fact, I enjoy many different pasta shapes. It's that we're all meant to pretend that this is fine and for adults. Like, there's no other food. Like, I get the value of different, you know, linguine versus spaghetti versus angel hair. They serve a different function and different shapes of food. I totally understand that part of it. But now we're getting into bow ties, spirals, fusilli. I like all of it. I'm interested in all of it. But we're being. This is. This is Play-Doh. We're playing with our food. This is absurd. Like, these are dinosaurs. These might as well be kid shapes. Like, stop acting like, oh, Italy's the most sophisticated place with the best food in the fucking world. This is children's food. Wow. That's bold. But the mini shells, you know, the sauce goes in them. It's nice. For sure. I don't think it's my best rant. I've done several hundred of these shows. Tortellini. I'm putting that one in a. That was like a sub. But I am impressed that I'm on is when you do your shitty rant. Seems so. Oh, man. But I am impressed that you know that you did see the integrity of the difference between spaghetti, angel hair, and linguine. I thought that would be a rage point. This is the problem with being a liberal, which is I can't help myself but see nuance everywhere. Yeah. And midway through my own rant about pasta shapes, I had to say, well, obviously, then there's different shapes that serve a different. Different sauces cling to different amounts. You have to have, you know, bolognese is going to sort of be better for, like, a tagliatelle. I understand that. And so then by the time you get to the end of hearing a liberal talk about an issue, you're like, well, what the fuck do you even believe? Yeah, because you were talking about. My real problem is with the fucking liberals. Yeah. This is. I hate myself. Oh, God. That's what my problem is. I get it. I know. I hate myself. That's what I always say. I hated me first. I win. Yeah. I'm a competitive self. I love a cold pasta salad, but imagining certain noodle shapes cold is like, ugh, you know? Yeah. It's crazy. Such an important point. But I never thought about that. Now I want a pesto fucking pasta salad. We'll be right back. And we're back! And now another wonderful night draws to a close. But could any small tweaks possibly have made tonight's show any more perfect? Probably not. But we'll find out in a segment we're calling Second Thoughts. Here's how it works. The producers of this program have handed me a list of things I should not have said or done this evening. Lisa and Lauren, if you have any regrets about me or anything you might have said on this show, now is the time to share them. I'll start with the monologue. I laid out a scenario where I'd vote for Trump. I explained that the Epstein joke was better than the JFK joke, rather than letting the material speak for itself. I did call Lisa a trans swimmer. Which was an odd thing to just say. Did it bother you? No, I thought it was fun. And I was a swimmer, so I was more excited that he caught that from me. Oh, you felt seen. Yeah. I did suggest that there was a connection between the MMR vaccine and being good at backgammon. Yeah, I heard that. I heard that. I liked it. Oh, I have so many regrets. What? This is my favorite part of the show, by the way, because I was like, Oh my God, you get to do on stage what I do every time. minutes um i wished i had not i i told myself don't mention the hbo's don't mention the training just take it in take the note lady and just move on but instead i just keep telling everybody like guess i got in trouble and then i sort of read and then i retell what i did and i was thinking and then as you were after i got doing that as you were talking i was like this is a wildly popular show in my like i was like i just did it on a wildly popular show like the other one i think people could have missed it but this one people are going to really hear it so i guess i regret i guess not i guess being here i'm just kidding um another thing that i could potentially regret is i did at some point ask does everyone here need help yeah and we do yeah i've seen that we all do we all need help yeah i would yeah i know some people in the audience i know they do yeah we can't all be good at everything no we need help do you have any regrets i'm yeah i i like i don't know i've been burping my lunch and i hate it um and so that's been really upsetting up here um and that's pretty much it i've had a good time i mean obviously i wish i talked more about heated rivalry but um and that's our show thank you so much to lauren weidman and lisa trager there are 83 days until the midterms we'll be back friday with david packman jim rash and congressman ted liu have a great night everybody love it or leave it is a crooked media production our show is produced by kendra james bill mcgrath kelsey gante and me john love it our production team includes hallie keeper sarah lazarus raman borsellino peter miller david tolls claudia shang jay banks gavin purcell and matt de groot and our staff is proudly unionized with the writers guild of america east hello beautiful i'm amy eric founder of madison reed a hair color company i named after my daughter i started madison reed because i believed women deserve better hair color companies and i better better ingredients better results and the freedom to color on your terms color at home with our permanent hair color kit in less time and for less than a typical salon it's a salon in a box for rich dimensional color and 100 gray coverage try our 10 minute root touch-up kit for permanent root refresh or our hair and brow mascara to cover stray grays on the go or visit one of our 95 hair color bars nationwide to let our licensed pros you color your hair for you join the more than five million women who have switched to our award-winning color visit madison-reed.com and use code podcast 20 for 20 off your first order or service confident bold unstoppable that's the power of madison reed this is keon miller from ok story time so i have a furry friend named mia she's literally a bundle of joy and love who can never get enough pets cuddles and attention to me she's more than a pet she's practically family and i love my pet part of that love is what's best for them and for my dog that includes the best diet at jinx all dogs deserve to eat well jinx has premium all natural food toppers and treats to transform your dog's health and happiness no matter your dog's size or age jinx's number one ingredient is high quality protein like atlantic salmon cage-free chicken grass-fed beef and lamb to support strong muscles and heart health jinx never has any fillers like corn wheat or soy for mia i get her the mini biscuits meal toppers kibble the kibble sauce and ready meals but for her i think she loves the mini biscuits the most just because she loves the taste and not to mention the sound of the crunch jinx offers plenty of healthy and fun options for your dog shop at national retailers like walmart pet smart chewy or amazon this is dr laurie santos from the happiness lab research on the science of happiness consistently points to the importance of social connection the quality of the time you spend together matters a lot we need social experiences that make us feel present and in the moment and we need to be able to do that together so we need to be able to do that together that's why i've been thinking about how i can turn more of my shared experiences into rituals think setting a beautiful table and making even the little moments feel a bit special these days i've been using the berry serving platter from simon pierce it's a hand-thrown piece of pottery with a weight and character that tells you that someone made this its shape is asymmetrical a little unexpected it's the kind of thing that earns a second look when it hits the table a piece that's unique enough to remind me to be a bit more present even if it's not even when i'm just having an everyday dinner that's what simon pierce has been doing for nearly 50 years making glass and pottery by hand in the united states that bring something genuine to the moments that matter pieces designed to be used passed down and present for every gathering they're part of if you're setting a table for the people you love it's worth starting here see all my favorite designs at simon pierce.com that's s-i-m-o-n-p-e-a-r-c-e.com simon pierce simon pierce made by hand, one at a time.