Caleb shares a candid and humorous reflection on personal growth, self-discipline, and evolving beliefs. He details a 75-day challenge ("75 Caleb") that includes daily habits like calling loved ones, practicing Spanish, reading, writing, taking vitamins, and cutting back on unhealthy habits like soda, weed, and fast food. He emphasizes physical wellness, admitting he’s been neglecting stretching and has recently begun to prioritize flexibility and movement, especially as he enters his 30s. The conversation also explores his critical view of traditional religious concepts, particularly the idea of a jealous, all-powerful God, which he finds illogical and emotionally inconsistent. Instead, he expresses a more personal, comforting belief in a greater plan—without eternal punishment or hell. He shares personal experiences with health, such as a panic attack linked to marijuana use, and reflects on how these moments have deepened his awareness of his body and the need for self-care. The discussion touches on ancestral exploration through DNA testing, which he finds both exciting and unsettling, and ends with a light-hearted celebration of lifestyle choices, community, and joy in everyday activities like paddle sports and simple rituals. The tone is self-aware, humorous, and grounded in authenticity.
- Wave. - They would say these big beautiful grandiose things, like they'd be like, "God is all-knowing and all-powerful and created the universe out of nothing." And also, he's jealous. - Yeah. (laughing) (upbeat music) - I remember people commenting on how much we were swiveling in the chairs, which-- - And I'll be doing it again. - Yeah, happy to report the chairs are still doing that. - I like to swivel. - Yeah, it's nice. - It's nice when you're with your boys to just let loose a little bit. - You got to, you got to swivel. You got to get your joints loose. - Let's go. - Feels nice. - Are you stretching? - No, not as much as I should be. - How much are you stretching, Beyoncé, right now? - Pretty much not at all. (laughing) - Not as much as I should be. - It's gonna go ahead and be never. - Yeah, and so not as much as I should be, like, you know, if I should be at a hundred, I'm at probably about a zero point five. - Yeah, so I'll be honest, there's a gap between where I am and where I should be, and that gap is everything. - Yeah, it's pretty much as much as you could ever, ever imagine, yeah, for sure. You got to be stretching. - Yeah, I started. - You're daily stretching. - Can I tell you something? - Yeah, not daily. (laughing) - Can I tell you something? How often are you stretching? - Can I tell you, I've started about two days a week. - Okay. - Is that seven? - No. - No, but is it even five, no? - But it's closer to where I'm at. - It's closer, maybe, but I probably have a longer journey. Here's what I'll tell you, I hired a personal trainer. - Oh, sure. - To talk to me about, I put out the bat signal. I said, I want a personal trainer who will never, in a billion years, talk to me about weight loss. - Yeah. - Flexibility and strength. I'm already strong. I want to get stronger. I want to get scary strong. - I like it. - I want to be so flexible I can do freaky shit. - Oh, I like that. - I want to put the leg over the head. - Yes. - Come on. - I want to be at a party and be like, you're not that flexible, you're 32. I'm not 32 yet, but this is later I'm when I get flexible. (laughing) - This is projecting into the future. - This is next year. - This is one year from now. - And they say, you're not that flexible. You're 32 and fat and gay. You couldn't possibly do this blitz right now. - Blame. - One foot that way, one foot that way on the floor. - I do like that in this hypothetical situation. These people think that no gay person could be flexible. - Well, I do like crazy. (laughing) - You don't know what homophobes might be doing next year. - Sure, sure, sure. That hasn't entered the chat yet. - That's not your type yet, but when I'm 32. - Yeah, that could, who knows where we could be. - It might've come up that gay people can't do the full splits at a party. - I would absolutely love to see that. - And when I'm 32, I'm planning on going to a party as well. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm planning on going to a party and being able to do the full splits on command. And I wanna be there front row. - You will be, but let me tell you. - What's that? - This trainer, this young woman who I loved beat my ass. It wasn't funny. - As they should. - It wasn't cute. And I was trying to prove things. And for, I'm not kidding. It's the softball game all over again, chance. For six days, I could not walk straight and I had fears about getting off the toilet by myself. - And this, I had fears about that. - And this is one session? - Yes. I had fears. - And then I talked to some of my fitness friends, you know, thin people, et cetera. - Of course. - They said, "Did you take creatine?" I said, "Did I take creatine?" - No, I don't even know what that is. - Yeah, they've got all kinds of stuff going on. They've got all kinds of stuff going on that they're never even telling us that they're up to. - Yeah. - I don't, I also have been considering getting in with a trainer. - I'm not seeing her again. - Don't, that's-- (laughing) - I tried, but our schedule's done online. She's wanting me to meet up at 11 a.m. Honey, if I get to 11 a.m and we haven't done it, it's not happening. I got to catch me in the morning. - 11 a.m. seems like the most reasonable time to do. - No. - I got to be into my day by then, 'cause you don't know this, but I'm on 75 Caleb right now. (laughing) - And I'm sorry, and you would say 75 Caleb is. - Part of 75 Caleb is a tailored to me, designed by me, by Caleb for Caleb of Caleb routine. Wherein I do many things. One of them is I get up before 9 a.m. every day. Now, if you have a normal life with an actual job and responsibility, that might sound silly to you. You have no idea what I can get up to. - Please, let's talk about it. - We're recording this at 1 p.m. I could have, I don't usually, I could have slept until noon. - What time did you actually sleep until? - I slept until eight, well, my arm went off at seven. - Okay. - I snoozed it until 8.53. - Okay. - Because Caleb, 75 Caleb states that I have to be up by nine. My feet touched the floor at 8.59 and a half. - You know what I do? I do like, wait, now I need to know all the principles of 75 Caleb. Because I also did, I did a 75 day thing. I called it 75 day soft. - Yeah. - I called it 75, no just 75 soft. - 75 Devin. - Yeah, 75 Devin, I should have personalized it. I do like that a lot. - Well, you got to be branding. - Yeah, you got to always be branding. - 75 Caleb. - KBB. - KBB. - 75 Caleb, I'm scared to stay out loud because of course there's a level of accountability with my listeners. - But that's how you got to put it out there. - This is 75 Caleb. - Okay. - I call two people that I love and miss. - Oh. - Exactly. - How many days have you been doing this? - This is today's the first day and I haven't made the call yet. (laughing) - You didn't tell me today was day one. - Yes, day one of 75 Caleb. - He was like 19 days in. - Today's day one of 75 Caleb. - I texted, I texted all of them. - Yeah. - Last week and said, hey, next Monday, I'm starting 75 Caleb. If you guys went in, nobody said yes. Everybody was mean to me. - Wow. - Yeah. - Not a single person in this room. - Michelle. - Michelle has since said yes. I will shout out Michelle. - Shout out Michelle. - Chance has been pretty rude about it and Nicole is considering it. - Okay. - And I won't say what Nicole's problems are, but they're not small. - Oh, I see them. - They're not small. - Big issues for 75 Caleb. - Yeah. - Huge, huge, huge discussions about what's wrong with 75 Caleb. - That's why it's 75 Kips. So there's call two love, people I love that I miss. - Right. - 30 minutes of Spanish practice. - Ooh. - 30 minutes of reading. - Ooh. - 30 minutes of writing. - Oh my god. - Gotta be writing. - Ooh. - I'm not writing lately. - You'd be writing one more. - On your writing, Caleb, this is ridiculous. I talked to myself. Take my multivitamin. Now, that one seems like a given. I can't get myself to take my multivitamin ever. - You gotta put it in an accessible place. 'Cause this was one of the big ones for me. I went to the GNC and I was like, I gotta start doing vitamins and this guy was like, all right, he gave me a pack of vitamins called Mega Men. - Yeah. - And they come in. (laughing) - Mega Devin, of course. - He gave me Mega Men for men 30 plus. - Yeah. - Oh yeah. (laughing) - He gave me the 30 plus Mega Men and it comes in a pack. It comes in a pack of 30 and I got a big box and I just put it, I put it right by my door. Like when I left for the day, I would grab a Mega Men as soon as I ate a meal, I'd take my Mega Men. That's the thing. - You gotta put it somewhere that you like, every time you walk past it, you're like, oh, time to take my vitamin for the day. 'Cause if you keep it up in a cabinet, done. It's locked away, you're not gonna think about it. That's, you gotta put it right in front of you. - You done before you started. - Yeah. - Okay, 75 Caleb. But now we're of movement and move however I want. Already done that today, I'm counting city bikes, I don't care. - Of course. - This is not about punishment. - No, no, discipline. - Yeah, of course. - I hear that. - Now, here comes the hard part. - No soda, no weed, no fast food. - Wow. - I do know you to be a soda enjoyer. - I'm a soda enjoyer, it's over. That's in the past. - Yeah, sure. - And the past being yesterday. - That's last night. (laughing) - The past being maybe 24 hours ago. - That's over. - Depending on what time you went to bed last night. - Not even 24 hours. - Sure. - Try 12. - Are you Dr. Pepper guy? - She used to be. - Yay. (laughing) - I do, I love that we are on day one and you are acting as if you have put an entire life behind you. - Used to be. - I remember him. - We're recording on a Monday that life behind you was Sunday. - I vaguely remember him. - Sure, sure, sure. - I remember who I was when I was using that man is. I have turned my back on him. That is a shadow of my former saddle. - I don't use anymore. - Sure. - Dr. Pepper is in my past. - You're looking at the windshield, not in the rear view. - No contact with Dr. Pepper. - Come on now. - I've gone no contact. - Okay. - There's a reason. - Yeah. - There's a reason the windshield's bigger than the rear view mirror. - I hear that. - Hello? - I hear that. - So now is we gonna be difficult? Yes. Now you're asking yourself why do you have to get off weed? It's from the earth. Devon, I wanna thank you for asking. - I did. - Two weeks ago I got so high that the veil got extremely thin. I felt that I saw through the universe. I had a panic attack and my friend had to come sleep with me, so I am taking a break from weed at 75 full days. - 75 Caleb, this is 75 days of Caleb. - 75 days, how much were you smoking before? - Not that much. - But I had one bad, I had my first ever bad experience with weed two weeks ago. I, which coincided with a health thing, it was whatever. I have had strep throat four times in the last year. We are looking into many, many things. - Sure. - We might do. There's one place we really could start to look. - We might do it. - You could take Caleb back to me? - Sure. - Which is where Caleb gets a ton select to me? - Yeah. (laughing) - We're looking all of our options. (laughing) More time. - My eye twitch is kind of off and on. - Sure, you gotta re-brand everything. Caleb back to me. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. You had Caleb throw a couple of times. - I can't check this. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. So, hey, so are some other people. - Yeah! (laughing) - Hey. - Yeah. - But no. - It's all seriousness. - Yeah, and all serious, no for real though. - All jokes aside. - 75 Caleb. - 75 Caleb is on, and you could start 75 Devon today. We could be in community. - See, I just did my 75 joint though. - Did you? - I just did it like-- - What was on it? - I had yours as more strenuous than mine was. - Okay. - 'Cause it's-- (laughing) - That's not good to hear. - You could be in, 'cause you committed to the reading and the writing and the, what, oh, Spanish lessons. - Yeah. - Yeah, mine was not that involved. Mine was an hour of movement every day. - Yeah. - Mine was taking vitamins every day. Mine was reducing my screen time until 30 minutes of screen time a day. I bought one of those little brick devices. - Yeah. - You know, that like shuts off all your social media? - Yeah. - I guess it was specific to social media, not screen time. I was still looking at stuff on my phone, but it was just, I was texting for hours. - I was still, I was reading, I was trying to read articles. I was trying to like, use my phone time a little bit more responsibly. - Yeah.
stop like looking at algorithmic stuff, which is like, I'm getting a lot of, my algorithm now is showing me a lot of, it's a bunch of different macaroni and cheese recipes. - Mm. (laughing) - Love you so concerned for me. - Well, I'm just curious, do you have one that are you making macaroni and cheese, or how do we get here today? - No, but I enjoy it. Like I enjoy it, and I guess I just watched a couple of macaroni and cheese videos, and now it's a big part of what's going on on my phone. I guarantee you if I open up my phone right now, there will be macaroni and cheese within one swipe. - Yeah. - Hold on. - Mine is one very specific Kurt Vonnegut quote. - Oh, what's the quote? - Keeps getting served to me. It's that thing about the envelopes. What about this? - Oh, no. - His wife is like, Kurt Vonnegut's wife is like, you're a very rich man. Why don't you buy your envelopes in bulk? And he says, because I love to walk and get my envelope one at a time. I see someone, I smile at someone, I brush cheeks with a stranger. It's about doing things, it's about routine. - Oh, I like that. - The envelope, it's really beautiful. - And that's really perfect for the moment that you're in your life, 75 Caleb. - 75 Caleb, 75 Onvolo. I'm gonna go get my own envelopes. - Okay, actually there's not macaroni and cheese. I thought it was gonna be readily available. There's a bunch of other food stuff, but there's actually no mac and cheese. - Anything good? - Really tasty looking pizza. - That does look good, although I think it's just cheese, which to me is always a waste. - Oh, sure, sure, sure. You need an additional envelop. - A cheese pizza is a stupid, a fucking idea. - See, I would like to disagree with you here, because I think the cheese is like, that's the foundation upon which everything rests. So if a place can do a cheese slice really well, then everything else is gonna be. - You gonna buy a house that's just a foundation? - I'm not a person. (laughing) - I hear what you're saying, but you need a strong foundation on which to build everything else. - To me, it's just like a pizza with no meat is, I feel, I'm like, I'm six. This is a children's endeavor. - I hear what you're saying. - But also. - But some sausage on there. But also the beauty of simplicity. - Put some chicken bacon ranch on there. - Whoa. - I've ever had it. - Chicken bacon ranch. - It's Chance's favorite pizza. - From where? - There's a place in my hometown called Rocco's that is like a Sicilian spot, that it is, yeah, it's my death row meal. - Whoa, okay. - We'll take you. - I'm a sausage and peppers on the pie kinda guy. - I'm really down with that. - Give me the sausage and the pepper. - I will say it's ridiculous that I order meat lovers, which is just like, that doesn't need to exist, but I will order it. - You know, something to me, there are certain things about me as a straight man that like, that I'm like, I can't dive into that part of the community. I can't be that obviously as straight man and participate. - Yeah. - And the meat lovers pizza is absolutely one of those things. I've dated many women in the past who were like, ordering a pizza and like, as we're ordering it, they're like, okay, but no meat lovers, all right? - Yeah. - I'm like, oh, they have trauma. - And it's like, well, I didn't say that. I never suggested that we do that. I don't even really like that. - They just read your vibe. - And it's, yeah, yeah, they were just sort of like, no, I've seen, you know, at a different part of my life. They're like, yeah, I've seen you play fantasy football, so I know what kind of pizza you're gonna enjoy. - Yeah. - I'm off fantasy football and I'm off meat lovers. - You're off fantasy football. - Yeah, yeah, for years. - But you still on pickup basketball? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm doing that. I'm doing that. I'm playing tennis. I started playing paddle. - No. - I started playing paddle, for sure. - No. - Yeah, not pickleball. - And I was gonna say, what is paddle? (laughing) - I like the two said no before you. - Because what was going on? I was buying time to figure out if you really meant pickleball and what I was gonna do to help us get there. (laughing) Outside of saying, Devon, I think you mean pickleball? - You were like, I said paddle and in his head he was like, how do I get this idiot to realize what he's talking about? How do I get him to realize what he has in his mind? - I was like, no. - How do I lead him to water in that way? - But I'm not an idiot. - Who was that clip with that where somebody was really, was it Zack Zimmerman? - What about it? - Where somebody was really was not understanding. - Oh my God, yeah. (laughing) - Are you trying to say like a moral dilemma? - Y'all can't, you guys listening or watching at home, y'all can't hear this, but there's a whole group of people in the back that when I said Zack Zimmerman, everybody went, ah, the moral dilemma that didn't work. - Sure, that. - His moral dilemma was like, okay, you push a button and you get a million dollars or you don't push it and a bunch of people die. (laughing) - I was like, that's not a dilemma. - And I was like, so I'll hit the button. - Yeah, so I hit the million dollar button there. - And everybody lives, so then. - And he was like, no, shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up. You idiot, you're like, I really felt for him in that moment. 'Cause that is tough. When you think you're really doing something. - Sure, sure. - Wait, what is paddle? - Paddles is a paddle is like a, it's a racket sport. Not dissimilar to pickleball, but it's really popping in Spain right now and they got a couple spots in Brooklyn. It's like, it's a doubles sport and you play doubles. It's all inside of like this cage and the difference between it and pickleball is you can play the ball off the cage. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, it needs to hit on the other side. There's like a net, you hit it, that's the bounce once and then it can also bounce off of like one of the walls surrounding you and then you can hit it off of that. - Yeah. - It's me and a lot of guys that probably put a vest on when they go to work. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, and we're not referring to law enforcement. - No, no, no, no, no. - We're talking about Patagonia vest. - No, yeah, we're talking about Patagonia vest. We're talking about guys. - Dual monitors. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, big dual monitors. They're the kind of guys who probably watched that show industry on HBO and they know what's going on. - Yeah. - They hear all those words and they say, "Oh, that's the kind of words I'll use as well." - This is my life. - Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's a lot of those kinds of guys, but I'm trying to bring cool people into it. I will say all of my friends are skeptical of it because of the Patagonia vest, nature of like who's in there, every single friend that I've brought to play has been like, this is a really good time. - Yeah. - I don't mind the vest from me, it was the cage. - Oh. - That's really kind of, you don't want to be inside a cage? - That really set me back. - I'm gonna pull it up. I'm gonna pull up a video and I want to show me the cage. - Would you, okay, well, now with the way that you're saying it. - Show me the cage. - Wait, would you play this with me? - I'm-- - Does it depend on, oh, I see. I thought he was pulling up a video of-- - I think he is. Chance, can you pull up paddle cage? Paddle, cage. Oh, I'm not. - Yeah, you play inside of there. - I'm not getting in there. - You play inside of there and then you can play off the walls. - Play off the walls? - Yeah. - Yeah, see, it's a lot of guys like that. - Yeah, I'm not going in the cage with you, but I'll come and watch your match some time and cheer for you. - Look, yeah, it's that. It's that. - I don't like that. - I'm playing that. What about it is disconcerting to you? - I don't want to go in the octagon. - Oh. - I don't why they need to put up a cage. Why do a cage? Why didn't they just let you play a normal style? - 'Cause the cage is part of what you play. You play with all the elements of the environment. - It's really exciting at addition to be able to play off the cage. - Honestly, yeah. The way you're saying that, I'm learning that that's really special, and there's one ball at a time. - Yeah, it's one ball at a time, but it's two versus two. - Yeah, and how do you score? - The ball has to bounce twice on the other side. - Twice on the other side. - On the other side of the net. - Right, it's same as tennis. - So you have to hit it in the opposite square from you? - You can hit it anywhere on the other side. - Oh, wow. - You have to serve to the one opposite to you, like the one like diagonal from you, but outside of that, you can hit anywhere. - Can you play the net real intense? - You can kick it at the net. - Yeah, you can do that. - That, I like. - Yeah, okay, so it sounds like you'd like to play with me. - I like playing the net. - It is ungodly expensive, I will say that. - Why is that? - I don't know, because of the best guys who play there. Also, there's like a, somehow for some reason, they decided to add like a social club element. There's like a coffee shop and like a smoothie place and like a lounge and like there might be a sauna of some sort, so that's what you're paying for. - Which people are always just inventing towns where poor people can't come. - Yes, and that is a thousand percent that. 'Cause the actual sport doesn't need to be that expensive, but you're paying for all this other shit that I'm personally not using. - Well Pickleball was too easy, there was no cage. - And then the rich people said, we should put up a cage. - Honestly, I just played Pickleball for the first time. Not for me. - No, me neither, I don't like seeing it. - I mean, I got into playing tennis in the last like year or so, and I like, I mean, tennis is incredibly hard, and I'm still like really trying to figure it out. These sport, these like paddle sports are a lot easier, but I do like, I need to run around. I'm still young enough that I can move. I feel like I'll get into Pickleball when I'm 70. - How old are you? - When I have like a hip replacement. I'm four years older than you. - Okay, this is interesting. - And this came up last time. - No, no, no, no, I was really shamed from my head. I was really shamed from my head. Despite the fact that we were probably born during the same president. What presidency were you born in? - Bill Clinton. - As were you. - Okay, nice. (laughing) - No, no, no, that's not where I'm going with this. - Sure. - What has happened to me recently, and I feel that by you saying I'm still young, I can run around, I should be doing it. I feel you might be in the same place. I have unlocked an appreciation for my body that was not there before. - Oh, that's beautiful. - I've unlocked an appreciation for it. I've always liked my body, but specifically the fact that I can move, I'm moving my body and going, oh, fuck, this won't be here forever. This is sick. I'm like literally, I was biking over here 30 minutes ago and I was like, God, this is awesome. I hope that this lasts for a really long time for me. - Whoa. - I'm very conscious of my body being, yeah, like being young and being able to move is something I'm thinking a lot about. - Welcome to your 30s, my brother. - I know. - Welcome to your 30s, where you start to really realize, oh, this is not when your knee starts to act up a little bit. - Yeah. - When you were like, one time I was like, I was playing tennis and I swung weird in my back hurt and I couldn't walk for like 36 hours. Or I could walk, but it was like a challenge. And I was like, oh, I need to start doing some stretches. Did I, have I started? - No. - What are you going to? - But it's in my heart now. - I learned about dynamic stretching recently. - Sure. - You know? And that's where you, I learned that you're supposed to do that before a workout. - Okay. - Where you're kind of bouncing in the stretch a little bit. Not too much, but we're kind of doing movements in the stretch. Static stretching is for when you're done. That's for the cool down. Now, I've been doing stretching all wrong, if at all. - Yeah. - And I need to get into it. I want to get into yoga. I'm scared of Pilates. I don't think I can enter those spaces. - That's a lot. But yoga!
- I need to speak with Adrian. - You can get involved. - Yeah, I need to speak with Adrian. I've heard she's doing good things. - You could get involved. You know what a really nice time to get into yoga is on vacation. - Really? - Yeah, do a little, do it 'cause it's like, you're in a different environment, you're somewhere new. Pop on one of them YouTube videos. - Yeah. - Pop on one of them YouTube videos. Hit one of them poses. - Yeah. - Feels good. - You know, earlier you were talking about girls not wanting you to order meat lovers pizza. - Yeah. - And I keep thinking about, I never feel more distant from my girls than at dinner. - Speak on that. - Because all my girls would be like, "Why don't you come over for dinner? "I'll make us something, I'll go okay." And then I'll go over and their idea. And I love girls, you know that. Girls are my whole life. Girls mean everything to me. Girls pay my bills. They're the whole reason that we're sitting in here right now. I wanna thank you to girls. - Thank you girls. - That being said, a girl's idea of dinner is butter noodles. That pisses me off. - Yeah. - What the fuck are you talking about? - I don't like that. - And then I girl dinner, girl dinner. I'm like, first of all, that's a snack. Second of all, don't make me be involved in it. - Yeah, it can be tough sometimes when you're with certain homegirls and you realize, especially when you're with your homegirls who are on TV, your homegirls who are on TV, they really not trying to eat what you and I would probably consider a meal. - No. - And I understand the pressures and where that's coming from, but it's also like, I'm trying to get this finished dish. - It's like the only reason I want a dismantle misogyny. - Yeah. - It's so that I can go out with my girls and have a regular meal. - You know what I'm saying? I'm like, I wanna get this finished dish and I wanna eat it together. - Yeah. - And now we've established a situation where you're like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, because of society, you're like, I'm not touching this finished dish and I'm like, I don't wanna eat it by myself. - I really wronged a fat friend recently. - Speak on it. - I went, I was in Los Angeles, retirement community for young people. - Yeah. - And I went out with my friend and we ordered the guacamole and I did ask for the chips to be replaced with vegetables. - You die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain. - Interesting. - I couldn't do it. - I didn't think we were, see. - I couldn't do it. - Why not? - Because I eat too many of the chips and I can't stop and then I feel so bad. - Yeah, it's tough. - I need you to bring me the carrots. - It's a whole situation with a, it's a whole situation. You're right. - 'Cause it's a whole situation with tortilla chips as a Texan, like who grew up in places where like that, that's just like customary. You don't even have to order the chips in the sauce or that just sort of comes with it. - Yes. - Once I pop that fun, don't stop. - Don't stop and you bring me carrots? I'm having two and I'm done. - Yeah, sure, sure, sure. 'Cause the carrots never really, it's not giving you that rush. It's not giving you that satisfaction. - And you know what, I will say, Chili's, Chili's does something nice for fat people, okay? Fat people who love dips. - Sure. - Chili's makes their chips really thin. - They do. - Authentic Mexican places, they're making the chips thick as fuck. So I'm having two chips and it's like, that was half a tortilla. - Right. - You know, but the thin little Chili's chips now granted they are covered in salt. - Yeah. - Lots of them. - And the sauces are 3000 calories a piece. - You don't even think about that. - That's a different thing. - Yeah, that's something else. I and my fat friend looked at me like I had hurt them. - I'm kind of with them on it. - I am too. - I'm kind of with them. - I didn't like that I had to do it. I'm starting to think about shit. - Yeah. - My body feels different. - No, I get it. And it does, and then when you start making certain changes, you're like, oh, like, I actually do feel better. - Yeah, we had the guacamole Caleb style. (laughing) - I can't wait to learn about other things that are done Caleb style. - Yeah. - I'm excited about this. - I'm excited. Everything's a branding exercise. - Whoo! - You know, the Caleb are these the kalesbians. They know what I'm on. My podcast fans. - No. - No, we're working on it. - I really like your podcast. - Oh, thank you so much. - Loki accused me of racism when I came on last, but-- - I believe it. - Yeah. (laughing) - I stand by it. - I'm gonna leave it. Hey, and if you come on the pod, you could get accused of that as well. You see what kind of, it really depends on what kind of lyrics you bring me. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I saw you in Austin, Texas interview at South by Southwest. I saw you interview Randall Park. - Yeah. - And it was a fucking delight. - Yeah. - It was an incredible episode. - That was so fun. - He is, I was really blown away and impressed by how good he was at being a podcast guest. - Yeah, he was awesome, he was very prepared. I'd never met him before. That was literally the first time we'd ever met. - You guys were electric. - It was so nice. He also, like, my podcast, my favorite lyrics, check it out if you can. - Check it out. - Wherever you get your podcast. Randall, it's like a rap in music lyrics podcast and Randall writes his own raps, as you saw. - Yeah. - And so, like, he came with like, 32 bars. - Yeah. - He went on for a long time. - He went for quite some time. Maybe that's part of his 75 Randall, is he, like, writes-- - 75 Randall? - Sending five Randall. - Yeah. - He writes bars every day. - Yeah. - Well, he must be, 'cause he said him for a long time. - He did, he did, and he was also rapping, you know, just based on how somebody wraps, you can tell, like, you can tell their age. And I'm saying that not in, like, a derogatory way, I can just say, like, you can tell what era they came up in. You can tell what, like, sort of inspired, you know, their style. And when I was listening to him, I was like, oh, you were a teenager in the 1990s, for sure. - Yeah. - 'Cause you're rapping, like, Rayquan right now. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - You're rapping, like, the Wu-Tang Clan met a lot to you and you were there as it was happening. - Yeah. - 'Cause I was looking back on the Wu-Tang Clan, being like, oh, like, you know, it was like cool to get into that when I was like 16. - Yeah. - He was clearly, he was there. - Nicki Minaj wasn't on the scene when you started. - No. - And there is a clear delineation. Sorry to invoke Nicki. She just changed a lot for a lot of people. - Sure. - Now we're obviously not listening to her about a lot of things. But Nicki Minaj, to me, there's a really clear moment where Nicki Minaj started rapping and everything shifted in a way. - Sure, sure, sure, sure. - And Randall wasn't there for that. - No, where I think if he was, he was looking at it with his arms crossed. (laughing) - You know what I mean? I do think he was present when it was happening, but he was like, oh, these kids in there. - Yeah. - He was like, he was doing that. - Yeah. - Yeah, he wasn't happy when the BBLs came on the scene. (laughing) (upbeat music) - What's up, you guys? It's Caleb, Gen Z correspondent here. This episode is brought to you by booking.com. Booking.com offers a wide array of hotels and vacation rentals across the US so you can find exactly what you're booking for. There's something for everyone, even though it's impossible to please. Whether you're booking for yourself, your partner, your picky teens, your sleep light, riser, or your mom, or your high maintenance group chat, you can find exactly what you're booking for. We all have different travel needs. What's right for a young family? Might not be right for a Gen Z friend group or a group of picky teens. When I'm traveling with picky teens, which I always am, something I must have as a kitchen with a nice big oven and stove top where I can cook some of my, you guessed it, world famous cream sauce spaghetti and grilled chicken. People who eat together stay together. If we can find our perfect stay on booking.com, anyone can be they Gen Z, families, or picky teens. Find exactly what you're booking for. booking.com, booking.com, yeah. Book today on the side or in the app. Yo, when it's time to order pizza, you gotta call our friends at Domino's. They have an incredible lineup of toppings to fully customize your next pizza to your heart's desire. Or if you wanna stick with one of the trusted staples like a large pepperoni, Domino's as you covered. And I'm telling you guys right now, do not sleep on their Parmesan stuffed crust pizza. It's the same buttery tasting pando, you know and love, but stuffed with cheese in every bite. Finish with their signature garlic seasoning and a sprinkle of real Parmesan. They're also serving up their classic handmade pan pizzas. Oh my goodness, with that buttery taste in each bite of dough. Pan baked into a golden and crispy crust with two layers of cheese baked from edge to edge. I like the sound of all of that. One of my favorite things about ordering on like Domino's is the Domino's tracker. Ooh, which lets you track the status of your pizza every step of the way from the moment you place your order to the moment it's handed to you. You can see in real time when your pizza goes into the oven so you know that thing is being as freshly baked as can be just for you. Try Domino's Parmesan stuffed crust pizza today. Thank you, Domino's, for sponsoring this episode. Everyone deserves access to high quality, affordable, healthcare, no matter what. That's why millions of people rely on plan parenthood health centers for services like cancer screenings, wellness exams, birth control, STI tests and more. In fact, one in three women in the US have been to plan parenthood for care. So it kind of blows my mind that lawmakers are trying to permanently shut them down. They already passed a law that blocks patients that use Medicaid from getting the affordable, preventative care they need. And now they wanna make that law permanent. Nobody benefits when people are getting fewer exams, paying more for care or just skipping the healthcare they need. And we know that's happening. Plan parenthood health centers have reported that fewer patients are getting basic care like breast exams and STI tests since the Trump administration and their backers defunded plan parenthood. Patients shouldn't suffer because of their laws. Our communities deserve better to get involved. Next update to 22422. (upbeat music) - Would you ever get a BBL? - Man, what a question. - No, honestly, people don't know this because it's just like stylistically we're in a place where all the pants are really big, I got some cake. - Really? - Yeah, I got cake. - Damn. - Yeah, so I feel, you know what I'm saying? I'm lower, lower half, I'm built like my mom. So it's like, we're set. - Shout out to her. - Shout out my mom for real. - Shout out to your mom. - Shout out to my mom. Shout out to your mom as well. I hope to meet her one day. You and my mom will have a very fun time. - I believe that. She seems like a blast. - My mom is a lot more fun than I am. - Oh, sure. - Don't chance life too hard at that. (laughing) Yeah, but yeah, she's a lot of fun. I feel like, do you remember?
- Is that what your mom's drink? - Everybody-- (laughing) - He's right about that. I asked if Caleb's mom's drinks, and the chance just goes, "Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo." - Oh, does she ever? - She would drink a frat house under the table. - Oh my God, yeah, we wouldn't have a drink. - Blast. - She's a lot of fun, my mom's a party. She's way more fun than I am. - Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, all right. - I got my last benefit show. She was super drunk and Kansas. She was super drunk in the front row, and I gave her the mic for two seconds. And I said, "Mom, I'm thinking we'll have a cute "mother's son moment. "I hear her the mic, things she'll say something sweet." I go, "Mom, how are you doing tonight?" She goes, "What's up bitches?" I said, "Go ahead and give me a bag." (laughing) "Go ahead and give me a bag." That's not how we're gonna-- - She's gonna be like, "Look at how much runny we raised "for the hospital." - Oh, it's gonna be sweet. I thought it was gonna be something cute. You know, like a mom thing. - All these kids are saved now. "What's up bitches?" All right, give it back. Give it back. - Mom, mom, mom, mom. - Give me the mic. Come on, we can't do that, mama. - Yeah. - She also, yeah, she's doing way too much with my fans. - Oh, is your mom online? - Show, she's online. She's meeting my fans out at the bar and taking them back to her house to hang out. - What? - She's like, "Why don't we continue this back at my place?" I'm like, "Why don't we not invite people "that you don't know back to the house?" - No, please, don't do that. - Yeah, really scary stuff. - If you are listening, stop going to Caleb's mama house. You're not supposed to be over there. Stop. - You're not supposed to be over there. Some of y'all who is listening, y'all been to Caleb's mama house, shame on you. - Stop. - That's not where you're supposed to be. You need to go back to your establishment. Hang out with people at your age bracket. - If you see my mom at a dive bar and lease summit, Missouri, you hang out with her there very briefly, and then you make sure she gets home safe without accompanying her. - That's right. - She's going back to school right now. - For what? - She's got more nurse. - What? - She can become more of a nurse. - What? - How much more of a nurse can you be? - They're gonna make her more of a nurse. - How many levels of nurse are there? - There's regular nurse and there's like nurse Prack. - There's like LPN, RN, there's like BSN I think. - Sure. - I think she's getting her BSN right now, and then you could just keep going at nurse forever. They have many, many nurse. - This is brand new information. - Yeah, nurses can really be different kinds of nurses. - What kind of nurses she right now? - She's an RN. - When she's about to level up, nurse wise. - She's about to go BSN mode on. - Do you want her to retire? - Yes. My mom and I, I'm constantly asking her, this is so funny. I'm asking her for like three years. Where do you want to go in the world? Like what do you want to do, I'll take you. What do you want to do? You want to go to Spain for a week? Do you want to like, do you want to go to fucking Tokyo? - Yeah. - What do you want to do? And she's always like, oh, I'm happy here. I like it here. I'm like, no, we gotta, this is come on man. Like, you know what I mean, let's go do stuff. And then finally, like two months ago, she goes, I've been thinking about your question about what I want to do. And I think maybe we could do 23 in me. And then, which I'm like, god damn it. She's like, we could do 23 in me. And then when we find out where we're from, we could go to there. - Oh. - And I'm like, first of all, we're not gonna be from somewhere interesting. Second of all, we're probably gonna learn some shit. We don't wanna know. - Sure. - 'Cause all white people in the Midwest are like, I think there's some Native American in there. There's something else in there. Okay, and I don't wanna be involved with it. I don't know. I'm, so I'm, I'm guess we're gonna do 23 in me. - Oh, that's not, I just wanna do it. - It's not like a trip. - I don't wanna do it. We'll know, we're gonna do it. And then we're gonna find out where we're from. And then we're gonna go to there. - Oh, I see. - So it's gonna be like, you're 13% Czechoslovakian. And then we're gonna, I guess we're gonna go to there. - Czech Republic? - I guess. This is what, this is all I can get her to do. - Yeah. What do you think is in there? - I don't want to know. I am scared. We are straight up white people. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't think there was no, you didn't, 'cause you know like, some white people have like one picture of their grandpa and he kinda had like, he had like a little texture in his situation. - It's not like that. - And they'll be like, oh, like. - It's not like that for us. - You're great, great, great grandfather was half a slave. Like that kind of thing. - I don't think it's gonna happen. (laughing) I think best case scenario. - Yeah. - Best case, we find out that there was a way back, maybe we're from some cool white people who did some cool stuff. - Oh, sure, sure. - Who were maybe like, maybe they were some of the white people that were like, we're not really done with everything that's going on. - Oh, they were fighting back against what was going on. - That's best case. - That's what you have to hope. - You're involved. - Yeah. (laughing) - Biggest case, y'all were leading the charge on some of the stuff. - Biggest case we were innovating in the space. - Yeah. - Yeah. - So Archibald here in was one of the first, one of the first ships over and guess who came with him. (laughing) - Yeah. - He wasn't doing stuff alone. - And the guys and they were not his friends in there. (laughing) - This is a guy who looked just like you. - Yeah, yeah. It's gonna be like my exact face, but it's got a mustache. (laughing) - It's like fucking Forest Gump. - Yeah, he's got a mustache. And he's got like an African that he's grabbing by the wrist. (laughing) Just out of frame by the wrist. By the wrist. - Come on. - That was slavery. He was like, get over here. - Come on. - Devon, come on. - Do you remember that in Forest Gump when they randomly decided to make his family the clan? - No. - Do you remember that? - There's so many little pockets, but because like I saw Forest Gump a lot of times, but I feel like I mainly saw it from it being on TV. So they condensed that version. And so it's like I feel like they cut out a lot of the stuff that's like the thing about his mom fucking the principal. - Oh. - So you can like get into school. - Yeah. - Which also I was talking to my buddy about this and my buddy was like, yeah, it's really funny because of the school that his mom like fucks the principal for him to get into is a public school. - Yeah. - You didn't need admission. - Crazy. You didn't have to. So it's like she just kind of, I don't know. - I very specifically remember seeing Forest Gump for the first time as a kid and being really confused when she was talking to that guy. And he was like, yeah, Mr. Gump, Ms. Gump. And I was like, why do you say it like that? I remember watching as a kid and being like, why the fuck did he say it like that? I was a normal question. And then when they were doing the screaming sex thing, I didn't know they were having sex. I was like, what the fuck is going on? - Sure. - But yeah, there's a moment in Forest Gump where he just, I mean, Forest is so, you know, he doesn't really understand stuff. - Right. - So he goes like, my great-grandpa, I like to dress up in sheets and ride horses. (laughing) It's just like, what? (laughing) - They would genuinely do that. - He's grandfather could have did anything. - Anything. - They could have gave him any kind of a job. He could have been the milkman. - Could have been awesome. He could have been doing like nice stuff. He could have been giving back to the community. - No, she could have been going to like Native American reservations and like teaching classes and stuff like that. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, he was in the clan. - Yeah. - And then they show like old-timey footage of like Forest Gump, it's like Tom Hanks and like a mustache and he like pulls down his hood and like rides off on a horse. And then they move on. - Yeah. - It's crazy. - And that's what you're fearful of. - That's what 23 of me will do to me. - You're lineage. - Yes. - Sure. How long has your family been in Missouri? - I don't know. - We stay out of that kind of stuff. - That's when you get into a sticky situation. - Yeah. - That's when you get into a sticky situation 'cause it's like Missouri. - I'm scared. - I already know what was going down over there. - There were a lot of cool white people in Missouri, Devon. - Well. - The border wars. - And I'm not saying that they weren't a lot of cool white people. It's just a real coin flip as to where those your people. - I know it. I'm scared to give the place my saliva. - I'm praying for you. - Well, and also that was my dad got really into 23 of me like seven or eight years ago. And I was just like, hey, well, so dad, where does this spit go? And he was like to the people, the 23 of me people. I was like, yeah, but who owns this? - But yeah, I'm like, yeah, what who's that tied into? And we never got to the bottom of it and God knows. They probably knew who knows what they know about me. - Yeah, I'm scared. - Yeah, I spit in the thing. - You spit the thing for your dad? - I spit in the thing. Hey, yeah. - Older people are really into this. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, they do. They like to know, they like to know their lineage. I think that's in the same way that we're now in our 30s and we're getting into stretching. Because we're thinking about like the, you know, the finality of our bodies and stuff like that. - Yeah. - I think that's old, I think there hits a point maybe when you're in your 50s or 60s, where you're like, I gotta know where I came from. - Yeah, I know where I'm headed. - Exactly. - How'd I get here? - Exactly. - I don't know if I've asked you this before. I forget if we talked about this last time you were on. God, yes or no? What are you doing with God? - Great question. (laughing) Is this something y'all talk about on the pockets? - Oh yeah! - Oh, sure, sure, sure, sure. I would say, man, I think I've oscillated. I grew up super, super Christian, which I think you did as well, right? - Yeah. - Youth group and all that. - Oh yeah. - But I never, I didn't really like it. Like I didn't enjoy, I didn't enjoy the church part of church. I liked the part of the church. I don't know if you ever, did you ever go to like church summer camp? - Of course. - Did you ever go to church summer camp and like they, I kind of was going for the water slides. - Yeah. - And I was so excited about the water slides and they'd be like (laughing) three hour service. - No. - Three hour service and then you can get on the water slide. - I can't believe y'all got water slides. - Do we, the last time I was on here, do we talk about the camp that the summer camp I went to in Missouri? - Yes, we did. - Okay, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. - We did not get water slides. We went to Tennessee and like, we like built some woman a house. - What? - We did stuff like that. - First was not fun at all. - Like Mexico. - And then my pastor washed my feet. That was a real turn off for me. - Oh, sure. - What's a real turn off for me? I didn't like that. - Sure, but it probably did something really awesome for him. - He was like, I'm a servant. I was like, you don't have to be, brother. - Yeah, stand up. - You know, the washing the feet, that's a big part of the. - I don't like it. - You know, that's like Jesus was, you get it. - Yeah. - I know why he did it. - But I was like, I just didn't enjoy it as it was happening. - You're a grown man and a leader in the community. I need you to unhand my foot. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Also, it's like scary. - Yeah. - But today, present day. - Present day. - Water slides aside. - God, I would say, I would say I'm leaning yes. I would say I'm leaning yes, God. That's big. - Yeah. - I like that. Christian God. - Yeah. - It's just 'cause that's the one I grew up with, you know? - That's your guy. - You know what I mean? It's just like, in the same way I'm an Eagles fan. It's just like, well, that's what they were giving me at the house. - It's not like I didn't act, so it's like now as an adult, I've sort of grandfathered into Christian God. - Yeah. - I guess I could look into some other ones, but I just haven't yet. Shout out to everybody's God, whoever you all got. - Shout out to all guys. - Yeah.
whatever you got going on. - Do you think man in the sky? Do you think physical man? - No, no, no, it was never, it was never man in the sky. I think, I don't know, I don't know how much I've interrogated my relationship with God as an adult, as a grown up, but I do think that it like, I do think that I do like to think that there is like a greater plan to all this. I think it comforts me whether or not it's true, who's to say? - Who cares? - But it like does, it does make me feel good to like know and like put my prayers and thoughts out into something and like hope that that manifests into something positive in my life. - Yeah, I've gotten so bored of correct. I don't care about, I don't know what's actually going on, but it does, in this world you got to find comfort where you can, you know what I mean with everything and it's like yeah, that does, it feels nice to me to like feel like I have like a relationship with God. - You can be right and lonely and sad and scared or you can be wrong and happy and comfortable. I'll take the second one. - Wait, where are you at God, yes or no? - Oh sure, oh sure, I think so. I mean, man in the sky, no. But I'm down with what I think is no hell. I don't believe in hell, I really don't. - I hope, I mean I hope not. - I just don't get, I think every, I think maybe I could understand nothing happening, that makes a lot of sense to me. - Sure. - I could understand everyone getting to go to a good place. I cannot make sense of eternal suffering for absolutely anything. I don't think there's anything you could do on earth that would warrant eternal suffering. - Nothing. - Nothing, whoa. - There are horrible, horrible things you can do when you shouldn't, but eternity to me is like, that just doesn't clock. There's nothing equivalent. - Sure. - I don't think eternity makes any sense to me. I wouldn't wish eternity on the worst person you can think of. I would wish very bad things, which is bad of me. - So it's like, and it would kind of be nice in your mind if you could sent in someone to hell like prison where you could be like, all right, so you did X, Y and Z, you could eight years in hell. - I don't know. - And then after eight years, then you can get out and you can go somewhere else. How does that sound to you? - I don't, I would be down with it if that's what God wants, I guess. - Four years in hell, for, you serve a little hell. You do a little hell 'cause you did some hell on earth. - Yeah. - And then you do a little bit of hell and then you get to, you do your time. - You know, I've said this before and this makes me sound really bad. - Can't wait. - But I think if man in the sky, Christian God, like really the way they've talked about it, turns out to be real, I low-key believe that when I get to the gates, no matter what, I think I could win him over. - I don't doubt that at all. - I think I could make my case. - I don't doubt that about you. - I think he would be like, you were supposed to confess that my son died on the cross for your sins while you were on earth and I'm like, I could be like, that's seriously my bad. (laughing) - I really, that's on me. - I really admit that I fucked up on that part, but I really did try to do good and be good to people. And I think you play my tapes, you can see my work. - Yes. - And to me, that's, I don't know. That version of it seems so much more realistic than the version of it than we got sold or at least the version that I got sold when I was a kid, which was truly like, I don't know. I feel like I still have residual shame from the type of shit that they were doing. They were always like, did you ever go to one of those church services where a guy who used to play college football, like comes and talks to you? Did you ever have this a very classic, if you grow up Christian? And I remember being a kid, being like, maybe like 10, and we had a spring break church thing, and they brought a guy in. He used to play like a wide receiver at Texas Tech, and he was like a high school hot shot, and he came in and he was like, man, I remember, I remember I was like the number one recruit in the country, and I had a D1 scholarship. And I was hooking up with a different woman every single night, and I had a motorcycle, and I like, you know, and I was getting cash under the, and I remember hearing, he was saying this like it was a bad thing, and I remember hearing all this stuff, and being like, man, that life sounds awesome. Fuck yeah, that sounds fucking sick. What do I got to do to live like that? I'm like, I'm kind of interested in sin. Yeah, and I'm like, I don't really know if I'm rocking with what you got going on right now. So what do you do right now? You selling churns? (laughing) You come here? You selling churns, and you go to church gymnasiums to talk to kids, that's less fun to me. Yeah. And so I don't know, I feel like I was always sort of sold this version of like, all right, well, you gotta have like boring fun if you wanna, you gotta have like boring fun. You gotta like not do trick-or-treating if you're gonna be a Christian, and I feel like that version of it, I like really reject, doesn't it though? Well, yeah, it started to really not make sense to me when they were, it was just very inconsistent that they were like, they would say these big beautiful grandiose things, like they'd be like, God is all-knowing and all-powerful and created the universe out of nothing. And also, he's jealous. Yeah. (laughing) And I'd be like, what? (laughing) You can't overcome jealousy. (laughing) And I'm supposed to like give up my life. I just felt like, I don't know, my guy might not be jealous. That can't be, 'cause if he is, then he can't be as grandiose as you're describing. He gets mad and punishes. It's like, I don't, he's no better than like a dad who like watches football. I just, I don't, it doesn't make sense. It's like, which one is it? It can't be both. He can't be, he can't be, he can't be the originator of all beauty in the universe and also be like, mad at you. (laughing) For little things that you've done. It'll also be mad if you jerked off when you were 13. Yeah, I'm like, no. It's gotta. It doesn't make any sense. (upbeat music) Y'all, this episode is brought to you in part by Quince. They make pieces that feel easy-comfortable and still put together. It makes getting just simpler. Luckily, Quince has you covered when it's time to start looking through that closet. The fabrics feel elevated. The fits are clean and everything just works without needing to overthink it. Quince has all the wardrobe staples for spring. Think 100% European linen shorts and shirts from $34. Lightweight, breathable and comfortable. Sounds like me. But still look put together and clean. A hundred percent Pima cotton tees with the softness it has to be felt. Their pants also hit that same balance. 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That's r-u-l-a.com to find a therapist the easy way. I remember very, in terms of sex, when I remember like, obviously like, they were always like, being like, no porn and no sex. And I remember it. I was just like, I will, even at my most Christian, I was like, well, I'm just not going to listen to this stuff. I'm just like, I'm just going to reject it. And if that means help for me, then I guess, I guess I'll go out with a smile on my face. (laughing) The rest of it sounds good, but I am going to play with my shit. Yeah, I'm going to be having a good time when my parents go to sleep on the family computer. I'm going to be on the family computer, upload, and all sorts of images. (laughing) 'Cause my playlists are going to be good. Yeah, 'cause it's like, we only got one live. My parents were very like, yeah, they were very like, my dad was like, I don't want you listening to no like, music would know like, cuss words and like, talking about this and talking about that. And I was like, no. No, I was just like, no, I'm doing that stuff. I'm going to do that stuff. I just never, I don't know. I just never bought into the like, really restrictive version of Christianity. It just like never, just never clicked for me. I was just like, I just don't know how much time I got left. I can't live as boring as y'all are describing. You want life to be. I can't do it. It's not for me. I will say though, look, the constant question, like that I think you have to ask yourself when you were raised religious and you turn out a good person, is like, well, I don't know. It kind of seems like it all worked out. I look at, there's so many things I learned in religion as a kid that I'm like, that was fucked up and really traumatized me. But then overall, I really think I turned into a, I'm turned into a person that I'm proud of. And I'm like, oh, well, fuck, I guess it kind of. Oh, I guess it's stuck. Do you know what I mean? It's like something worked. I don't know. I mean, who's to say? Maybe without it, it still would have worked, but I don't know. Who's to say? Yeah, I guess chicken to the egg, but like, I don't know. I'd have to imagine you wouldn't have ended up like a piece of shit. I can't have to imagine you would-- We'll never know. Yeah, I guess we won't. We'll never know. I'm not saying there aren't, there are good people that weren't really raised religious. Sure. But I'm just saying, for me, I'll never know because it was part of my thing. You want to have a family. You were talking about this. I do. Would you raise your kids, Christian?
- No, I'll raise my kid's Universalist Unitarian. Yeah, well, I love the UU Church. I think it's so fucking cool and it's no dogma and it's people of all different kinds of faiths and it's really a shout out to everybody's God. Like it is like, yeah, there's Muslim people there, there's Jewish people there, I really like UU and I think it's so community centered and cool. Yeah, I'll have my kids in something though. I'm like, I've got baby fever right now, bad. - Really? - Bad. Have you thought about like, what's, what route are you going for baby? - I'm gonna take a couple of 'em. - Okay. - Okay. - I wanna have like, three or four kids. - Whoa. - Yeah. - Oh my God. - Yeah. - And it's like, are you going straight up adoption or are you like, you having a surrogate, what's the vibes? - A surrogacy, I have questions about I need to do some research. I still don't fully understand the ethics of surrogacy and like, which is no shade to anybody. I just have heard different opinions. So I don't know, maybe what I, here's my ideal. - Yeah, so I'm gonna adopt a couple kids. A couple of kids out there that need a home. They're gonna hit the lottery. - They're gonna end up with a real cool gay guy. - They're gonna have a lot of fun. We're gonna really hang out and have a good time. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna get 'em lots of gifts and toys and cool shit. They're gonna have a good time being my kid, okay? I'll adopt some kids, no worries. And then what will be ideal is if I find a gay man that I wanna spend my life with and he feels the same way. We'll call that step number one. (laughing) - All right, we are still in the R&D phase of that. - Are you hoping to be in a single dead? - Absolutely not. (laughing) - How fucking, how fucking now? - No way. - Sure. - Someone's doing this. (laughing) - I don't care if I, I'll settle. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - No, I won't, no, I won't, no. - Okay. - But. (laughing) - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I won't do it, I won't make you. - I won't do it, I won't do it, okay. - But me and this gay guy, okay? Or by guy or queer guy, whatever his deal is? No worries, I'm open. This guy who's really into me, his sexuality, he really should be Caleb sexual. - Of course, you know? - Caleb sexual, he should be on his Caleb 75. - He wants to be on Caleb, he wants to be on Caleb life. - Right, and of course. - So me and this guy, we find two lesbians that really, really want to kind of go in split style on a baby. - I see and so then as a unit, you would all be. - Yeah, we have a couple. - The four of us have a couple. - Oh, that's nice. - He gives one of them pregnant, I get one of them pregnant, I get the other one pregnant next time, he gets the other one pregnant. And then we all just have a couple kids that were just kind of, we're all raising the kids. - So now, I mean, now in this version of it, it sounds like you have like six kids. - Well, I could do, yeah, I could do up to seven. - Oh, my God. - Minimum, I think minimum three, maximum seven. If there's a couple lesbians involved in the mix, if there's no lesbians, I'm out on seven. - Sure, 'cause you're gonna need to be able to trade some of these little guys off. - Yeah, I'm not going seven without the lesbians. - Yeah, one of them homies gonna have some behavioral issues and you're gonna have to, the mom's like, you're gonna need to go over there. - Yes. - I can't even look at you right now, you're going to your mom's house. - Yes. - Sure. - And so I'll do seven with the lesbians, no lesbians, I'm out on seven. I could tap it at four. - Three or four? - Three or four without the lesbians. - Oh my God, you're living like our ancestors for real. - Yeah. - Four to seven kids. - I'm interested. - Oh my God. - It'd be fun, dude. - God, you better, you better get started. - One is great. - You better go and load up. - I'm ready. - I'm ready. - Interesting. Who are you looking for? - In a man? - Yeah. - Oh God. - I've been kind of looking at everybody. - Yeah. - I've seen, I've met a few of you. - My mind is open. - Yeah, I've met a few of you. - You can attest, I don't have a type. - That's, that's, I haven't met that many, but I feel like of the ones that I've met. I'll tell you there's slightly a theme. - What's the theme? - What's the, I'm genuinely asking. What's the theme? 'Cause I don't remember who you've met. - Black, black guys. - No! No, that's not true. - Sure, I did a lot of black guys, but I'm dating lots of other guys as well. - I didn't say exclusively. I'm just saying of what I've known, of what I've been familiar with. - I just haven't seen everyone that you've been involved with. - I just want the listeners to know, if you are a gay black man, yes, of course. Give me a call. - But if you are a gay man who isn't black, you also could maybe get in the situation. - Maybe. - See, there's a skepticism. (laughing) - You're hearing it. - You're hearing it. - He said, "If you're black, ring my line." Ring my line, I'm available right now. If you something else, we'll have a conversation. - Well, what are you saying? - Send us your resume, your cover letter, and we'll look over everything, and then we'll see where we lay. - We'll see, well that's, yeah. Mostly it's just, there's less white guys, less specifically white guys. - Oh, I see, you're kind of, you're out on the white man. - Not how, it's just, there's more research that gets done. - Sure, sure, sure. Depends on what kind of-- - 'Cause what, we're both gonna be white. (laughing) - There's an episode of Seinfeld, where Elaine is going out with this guy, and she can't tell his ethnicity. She can't tell if he's black or not. He kind of looks like logic. He's got like a really like, you know, whatever. And then by the end of the episode, he tells her that he's just white, and he thinks she's Latina. - Yeah. - And then they both discover they're both white, and they're like, oh, so we're just like, two white people together? - Yeah, ugh. - Yeah. - That don't seem right. - Doesn't feel right. - No, no, no, no, that's not, uh-uh. - It's just, yeah, I don't know about that. - Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. I see, okay, all right. - I see, but they're good. - 'Cause I guess it can go, it can go a lot of ways with white gay guys specifically. - White cis gay guys. - It can go, it can get yucky. - Those are a lot of cap and republicans. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm not interested in that. - No, but if you're a cute gay white guy, and you want what I want, I think feel free to hit me up, and we'll check out everything, I mean it, I mean it. I mean it, everybody come through. - This is like, this is like the way that I respond when somebody asks if I want to go, like, lift weights in the morning. (laughing) 'Cause it's like, I don't, it's like, I really don't, but I mean, you know what, yeah, just hit me. (laughing) Hit me when you wake up, and when you wake up, I'll see if I'm up. - If I'm up. - If we're both up, then man. - Yeah. - Maybe we could do that. But it's like, I don't. - If it's raining, I probably won't make the walk. - We'll see. - No, it's downstairs, especially, yeah. This is like when somebody asks you to work out on vacation. - Yeah. You're just like, ah, well, we, I had some drinks, but it's the morning plays out. - Yeah, yeah, we'll see what's up. - Yeah, 'cause my stomach can be with the fights and everything. It's, we'll see. - Yeah, that's like you and white men. - We'll see, look, I'm open to it. What, I mean, you know, I am tired. (laughing) I am tired. - Are you, are you, are you, do you do apps? - Course I do apps. - Oh, okay, got you. - And I have to put in my Grindr bio, do not talk to me about my job. These gay men hitting me. - Oh, yeah. - Oh, you're famous. I forget about it. - Low key. - I forget, no, no, no, high key. - Don't wanna be necessarily, it's something that's happening. - But they're messaging me two in the morning. I'm clearly on here to get laid. - Yeah. - Messing me, yeah, I love your clips, King. If you don't get the fuck out of my DMs. - Try to get sucked off, when I'm trying to get sucked off, do not talk to me about TikTok. - Just say it that graphically, but yeah. (laughing) But that's what's at the core of your message. - Unless it's I love your clips and I'm coming over. - Yeah, I'm on the way. - There's no need to let me know. - Sure. - Put it in the Instagram comments. - I see, yeah, that's truly, that does belong in the comments. - Check with Live Nation about it. (laughing) You know, see when I'm in your city. - Yeah, no, I totally, I totally hear you. I've never even thought about the way that that must, the kind of getting the way of your whole situation. - Well, a lot of gay guys that have a public life, they get off Grindr or they don't put their picture on there, but I'm hornier than them. - Oh, I see you. - I'm much more serious about this. - What, okay, would you date another person who's a public person? Would you ever do that? - Oh, if I ever met one, I could stand. (laughing) I mean, you beat these people, you know. - I do know, I do know, and that is, yeah, we really do, and it really is like a big part of working at SNL was really getting to see famous people really up close and being like, I don't want to be like that. - I'm good, I'm good, I'm good. - I don't want to be like that, I don't envy what you got going on in any type of way. - At all. - Yeah, that is, yeah, there's a lot to that. - I'm just, if I could, if I met a single gay guy who was not interested in Polly who I enjoyed being around, he happened to have a similar life to mine, sure, I would consider it. - Interesting. - So I'm asking for the world. - That's a lot of-- - I'm asking for a monogamous gay guy who wants kids. I might as well be asking for a trip to fucking Mars. From my experience. - Sure, sure, sure, I mean, you've done the research. - You can have kids? - I would like to, yeah. - No, he's so many. - I would like to have kids, two tops. - You would do three? - No. - Okay. - No worries, two, 'cause it's like, what are we doing at that point? I just, I would like, 'cause it's like, 'cause it's like, I wanna, I do wanna have a kid, but it's also like, I wanna, I'm not an only child, but all my siblings have like, we have huge age gaps. So we all kind of grew up only children for like big sections. Like, my older brother's 12 years older than me. So when I was finishing kindergarten, he was graduating from high school. When I graded my little sister's 10 years younger than me. So it's like, when I was graduating high school, she was in like third grade. So it's like, we all kind of like, we all sort of grew up separately. You know what I mean? We were never in similar stages of life. And I feel like I would wanna give my kid like, a proper sibling. It was like a few years apart. One is crazy. One is, to me, one feels crazy. You're an only child, right? Not really, but it's complicated. Oh sure, sure, sure. It's similar. Yeah. Similar kind of. Yeah, yeah, it is similar. And it's like, I want just to me feels crazy. And honestly, because my brother and I were so, not in the house at the same time really, I'm like, I think a couple more would've been nice. Yeah, it would've been nice to like have that. I really do really envy like siblings who have like, like, oh, remember when, you know, remember that one Christmas? [BLANK_AUDIO]
and we were like, I envy siblings who got to live in similar stages of life together. Like I always, it makes me happy to hear people's stories when they were just like, yeah, like we were growing up or dad, you still always fuckin' sleep on this roller skate. (laughing) - Your dad was never something on roller skate? - Well, but it's like if he did, I couldn't laugh. I had to laugh about it to myself. I really do, I really, I really, my heart does get warned when siblings have like, together memories and they're like, oh yeah, I remember like, oh we were doing this together 'cause I didn't have that. And so if I had kids, I would wanna give that to them. - Yeah, you slept on the skate in front of them, they get to laugh together. - It's nice. - And God knows I would. My dad would like, I guess I had to have that with my mom. My dad's told like a big thing to my, me and my mom will roast my dad about is like, he like wore a suit for work, so we always looked nice when he stepped out of the house in the house, couldn't care less about what he looked like. My man, ashy as hell at all times. - Yeah, all right. - Every Christmas morning, we have pictures of him, his knees, bright white, bro, bright like Casper the Ghosts. That's how my man is doing. - He's on a suit and providing and you guys are giving him shit on Christmas. - You got to, you got to. - We got to. - No, that we got plenty of lotion in this house. We live in a black household, there's all sorts of Vaseline's and cocoa butters and various varieties. Like you have no reason to look like this. And he would constantly. - Oh man, I feel for him. - Yeah, he's fine. - He's fine, he's good. I should don't worry about that. - Don't actually worry about it. - He's fine. - He gets I see for you. Three, I think would be nice, maybe open your heart at some point. - It's just like, I don't know, I already live in New York. Everything's always. - Yeah. - Everything's so pricey. - Yeah. The taxes of it all. - Yeah. - Then now I'm adding kids but I guess then you get tax breaks. People don't want to hear us talk about this. - No, they do. (laughing) - Oh, they do. - I stopped caring what people want me to talk about on here after about the third week of having the show. - Oh, that's nice. - I'm just like, you're gonna get what I give. - That's a thing that I admire about you a lot. - I admire a lot of things about you, but a thing that I admire, maybe the most is that you really kind of do what you want all the time. We were talking about like TV stuff and I was like, I was like, oh, would you ever like, like what do you want to do? Do you want to like write on a show again? And you go, I never write for somebody else's fucking show. (laughing) - I did, you love it. - You go, I'm never doing that again for the rest of my life. And it's like, I think there's, I was like, oh, that's so tight. Cause me, I feel like I'm like, I don't know, I'll take a job. I'll take a job, I'll go do a thing. And you're just like, oh, no, I don't wanna do that, so I won't do it. And that's, I do admire that about you. - That is not, thank you, that's very, very kind. I don't think it's admirable. I think I have a real problem. (laughing) I think I have a real attitude problem. - Sure. - I have an issue with authority that is like clinical. - Same. - I do not like being told what to do. - Same. - Even by myself, even by a doctor. - Oh. - I don't like being, and I said this people started to tell me I have autism. Not everything's autism. - They are trying to make everything autism right now. - I don't like being told what to do and I'm autistic. I look, I send my love to the community. - Shout out. - I just don't think that's necessarily autism. Maybe it is. - I don't know. - But what I'm saying is. - They're trying to make everything autism right now. - I can't do any. When you tell me to do something, I don't like it. - I have that same thing as well. - It makes me sick. - Yeah. - I'm like, no, I don't wanna do it. It doesn't matter if I wanted to do it. It doesn't matter. I've said this a million times on here, but even when I tell myself to do something, that's why 75K hope is so important. (laughing) - And I'm excited to see, we don't see each other as much as I'd like, 'cause we're both running around, but I'm excited to see you next time and see how many days through 75K hope you made it to. - Before you leave here today, I'm gonna put a check-in on your calendar. - Please do. - We're gonna go to dinner. - Maybe halfway through. - Halfway through. - You owe me a dinner, by the way. - We're gonna chat pardon. - Yeah. (laughing) - The chiefs and the Eagles play each other. The chiefs and the Eagles play each other and mean this. - Cut this. (laughing) - Keep going. - And we made a wager. We made a dinner wager, during this last NFL season. - I vaguely recall. - So where would you like to go? - I don't know, I'm gonna look through some stuff. I'm gonna look through some options. - I'm gonna store $4 signs and stuff. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you got it. I really want you to take advantage of this. - And I would like to. - I mean that. - Wait, also, wait, I wanted to ask you this. You, we both have a real authority thing. - Yeah. - You're dad, what was he like? - My dad? - Yeah, what was he like? Was he like a real authoritarian type of old school dad? - Yeah, he tried sometimes, but he wasn't in the house and I didn't respect him. So anytime he would tell me to do something, I'd be like, you're not really my father in most of it. (laughing) I love him very much and shout out and rest in peace to him, but he would try to, he'd be like, he'd be like, the important thing about being a man, I'd be like, you're not in the house. I was just like. - That's one of the big, important things about being a man. - One of the big things is being in the house with your kid or being great at being a dad outside of the house. And you are not very good at this. So I'm not really gonna listen to you about almost anything. He had some cool lessons. He had some good moments. My dad was brilliant. So I really respected his intellect. But yeah, as far as telling me what to do, it was like, I don't really think so. - Wait, where do you think it comes from then? 'Cause mine directly comes from having like a military dad. - Opposition to your dad. - Okay. - Yeah, mine's like, I can directly tie it to like, I really don't like people telling me what to do. And if you tell me to do something, I'll probably do exactly not that. - Yeah. - Yeah, I have that. - I think mine was that I grew up with a single mom and I had to grow up very early. My mom is a great parent, but she was, I had to do a lot of stuff for myself very young, and I was a very like, printified child. And so I became very self-sufficient, very young. And then anytime after that, I'd be like, I'm based, I don't know, teachers would tell me to do stuff at school and I'd be like, I fucking do more than you do. Like I'm sorry, but I like get myself out of bed and get myself here and I keep track of my own homework and like, I do all this shit. So anytime someone would tell me to do something, I'd be like, what the fuck do you know? You're gonna tell me what to do. I already do everything. - I had that too, but I think mine was much less earned. - Yeah. (laughing) - I don't know if mine was earned, but I was certainly doing stuff. - You were like doing, you had like adult responsibilities as a kid, so you kind of wanted, you wanted the adults to kind of meet you at that level. - Yeah. - And like talk to you as if you had like that level of agency, right? - Yeah, and also just leave me the fuck alone. - All right. - And stop with these bullshit. If you realize that too young of an age, that adults are full of shit, they'll tell you shit. They'll be like, you can't do that and you go, why? And they don't have a reason and then you're expected to do it anyway. - That would, that would give me a lot of time. - I'm like, fuck you. I just be like, okay, look, I'm down to do what you're talking about, but just tell me why it's important. And if you can tell me in a way that like tracks to me, then it's like, I got you. - Yeah. - If you can't, then I'm probably gonna do it the other way. I'm probably gonna do it the way I wanna do it. - I get so mad, my little cousins, they, when they get told to do stuff at school, and then they get in trouble for not doing it, I'm like, I wanna go down to the school. I wanna go down and be like, what's your fucking reasoning? - Sure. - Why? And it's not 'cause I think they're right. They're kids, but I'm like, I just don't, you're not doing a good enough job of explaining it. And they're not supposed to be like little robots for you. I don't like it. - I'm with you. - It makes me mad. - I'm with you. I'm excited to see the little non-roof following kids you-- - Oh, they're gonna fall in line. (laughing) My kids? No, they'll be going through with their toll. - Yeah, no, I mean, I don't know. It'll be interesting to see, it'll be interesting to see 'cause everybody has ideas about how the parent in theory, and then when you're an actual parent, I, yeah, I'm sure my theories will go out the window pretty quick. Yeah. - I'm curious. - I mean, if we're gonna do it, we gotta start. - You, you a little sooner than I. (laughing) - Jay, look at this little-- - I get on this podcast, Caleb talks to me like, I'm 56. - No, it's just the timelines are, are they are, you know, objectively a little different. No, you're right. I do, I'm thinking about it. - Time to get started up. - I gotta figure it out. - Yeah, especially if you're planning on doing an OG style. - That's true. - Original recipe. - That's true, but it's also like, I don't know, it's also kind of sheet. Do you think it's kind of chic to like have a kid at like 45? - Completely. - Yeah, completely. - There's something kind of fly about that. - I'm not gonna be doing it. - Yeah, I don't know, I don't know if I wanna do it with my like, who knows what's gonna happen with my back. - Yeah. (laughing) - Yeah. - I can't be throwing out my back, picking up my baby son. - Yeah. - No, not your baby son. - Not my baby son. - I'll throw my back out playing tennis. - Exactly. - And I've done it, and I'll do it again. - Yeah. I want you to get started soon, I really do. I think what I, my ideal is that I'd have four kids within about two years. I'm all to be just right at that same. - Oh, I see what you're saying. Like, wait. - Not two years from now, within the same two years. - Four children in two years? - Yeah, I wanted to all be about the same age, like maybe two in each grade. - It's possible when you're a gay guy, 'cause you don't have to wait on the reset time respawn for the girl. - Sure, so you're kind of, (laughing) respawn time. (laughing) Do you know what I mean? - Do you know what I'm talking about pregnancy? Like it's halo. (laughing) - There's a refractory period. - Sure, sure, sure. - That would take you a second to bounce back. - Yeah, you got two lesbians that you're doing business with? - Oh, sure, and especially if you can get two sets. Bang, bang, bang, boom. - Bang, bang, boom. - Yeah, and then you do adoption as well. All of a sudden, four kids, maybe they're three months apart. - That sounds like a lot of work for yourself. - Really nice, though. - Yeah, but I guess you kind of got it all out the way. - 'Cause it's like, let's just get 'em, let's just get 'em, they can share cars to school. We're buying one car for the lot of 'em. - One year, in like 2009, Lil Wayne had like four different kids with four different women. - Yeah. - In the same calendar year. - Sure. - That's how you were kind of trying to live. - I feel that where I had a sexual, I feel that I would have two babies by now. - Really? - I'm not on purpose. - Sure, you think you would have slipped up like in high school or something like that? - I think for sure. - Yeah. - You would have been really tragic story. - Or would it have been beautiful? Or would you have been doing this version of your career? Now, as a, well, I guess, no, you're a straight man forever in this scenario. - In this scenario, I never stop being straight. - Oh, I see. - Yeah. - Well, then I guess, yeah, I guess everything would probably be different then. - I don't know what the comedy, but I don't think comedy works out for me as a straight guy. - No? - I don't think the way I am really works, I don't think it plays. - Yeah, it'd be, it'd be, it'd be an entirely different. - I think I get a lot of passes for gay. - You know. - I see, yeah, I'm curious. - I talk to people a little crazy. - I guess. (laughing) - For straight, if a straight guy, I don't know. - Yeah, people, it's not coming off as charming. - I don't think it's so cute. - Mmm. - If I'm a straight guy with children and a wife. - Yeah.
- Yeah, they're like, yeah, also people, you know, when a straight guy with a wife has like, our lifestyle, you're like, hey man, you gotta-- - It's time to block it. - You gotta, you gotta lock it. - Go raise those children. - Yeah. - Go to the oil rig, you can't be creating content. - Exactly. - Yeah. - But that's for me when I'm like, oh, I'm doing 75 days where I get up before 9 a.m. I think it's kind of cute. (laughing) - It is funny because we live such un-serious lives. We live such un-serious lives. I work, man, especially now that I'm not on the show, this year, collectively, I've worked like real work work. - Well, six, seven hours. - Man, maybe the equivalent of one week. (laughing) And we're about to be in June. Like, if you add it all up, like in hours, like the amount of hours I've put in, probably one full week of work. - Yeah. - And I'm doing fine, and that's fucked up. - Yeah. - That's really fucked up. - It's legitimately wrong. - And it's not right the way that we're allowed to live, and I do feel like I, yeah, when you say that, like waking up before nine, every time I do it, I'm like, I'm in, it's pretty nice. And I forget that people, I used to have to do that every day. - A lot of things are nice when you are choosing to do them. - Yeah, totally. - Do you know, when I had jobs that I had to get up at seven a.m., I was like, this is fucking ridiculous. - Terrible. - And now I get up at seven, and I'm like, this is the actually definition of luxury. - Well, and also our version of waking up for seven a.m. It's like, all right, well, I work out at eight, and then I like have lunch with my friends at noon. - Yeah. - And then I like maybe do a show at night, and then maybe I like, type a little bit in between that. - See, but a lot of these comics are not getting up at all. They're sleeping 'til three, 'cause they got four spots at two a.m. - True, that's crazy. - I'm glad that I'm not in that. - I've never been in that. - I'm not in that shape. - Maybe I should be. - That'd be a fun era. I'd come watch your spots. - I wouldn't even want you to do that. - Devin, what's so true to you right now? - What is so true to me? - I don't know. I think just like leaning on your community, leaning on your friends and your family, and like, you know, in a way that's like, you know, in a remembering, I think it's a straight man, I think you forget that you can like lean on your homies when you're like going through some shit. And I think, yeah, reminding myself of that, and then like doing that, leaning on the homies and like getting up lifted in that way. - Yeah. - That's so true to me. - You can call me any time, Devin. - I know, I just, I always assume you're gone. - Well, to call me anyway. - Yeah, fair enough. - 'Cause I might not be, and also I'll come back. - Fair. - And I'll remember, but you can call me any time. I would do anything for you. - Oh, you can lean on me, brother. - Damn. - I got you. - Lean on me. - Come on. - Say that. - Yeah. - Should we start a band? - We should do something. - Yeah, for sure. - We should do a show together. - Okay. - Okay, I'm down. - Are you gonna play a game? - Yeah, let's do it. - You know the deal. - Devin, I'm gonna read you 15 statements. You're gonna tell me as quickly as you can if what I just said was true or false. If you get 10 or more correct, we're gonna give you 50 US dollars. - Yes. - Yes, you ready? - Yeah. - The Walking Dead ran for 11 seasons. - True. - That's true. - True. - That is true. - That is true. - That is true. - That is true. - That is true. The average lifespan of a goldfish is three years. - False. - False. - False. It's 10 to 15 years. St. Paul is the capital of Minnesota. - That is true. - That is true. Venshung threw more touchdowns than interceptions in his NFL career. - I'll say true. - False. 19 miles per hour. - Fuck. - I was right. - I got to trust my gut. - The Navy is the biggest branch of the US military. - Ooh. - I'm gonna say true. - False. The Army. Ringworm is a fungal infection. - That's true. - That is true. Torchey Stockholm slogan is damn good. - That is true. - That is true. Corrine makes plants green. - That's false. - False. It's core fill. - Infinity is a number. - That's false. - That is false. Camel store water in their humps. - That's true. - False. - Oreos are a type of dolphin. Orcs, sorry. (laughing) Orcs. - Is water in Camel's humps. - No, it's fat. - Oh, it's all fat. It's all in the warmer. - Where do the waters go? Where's the water go? Man, this, somebody fucked me up. - I'm glad you went back to that 'cause I said Oreos are a type of dolphin. (laughing) And my brain really thought that was the sentence. - Yeah. Orcas are a type of dolphin. - False. - It's true. The current mayor of Fluegerville, Texas is Chad Harris. - Oh my god, I actually don't know the mayor of my hometown. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say true. - False, it's Doug Weiss. How do you do, James? - Oh fuck. - 10! - 10! - Let's go! - $50. Of course it's Doug Weiss. The Weiss family and the Flueger family started Fluegerville. - Yeah. - So like the Weiss's, like I didn't grow up around Fluegers but I grew up around Weiss's. I went to high school with Brandon Weiss, Courtney Weiss. - Damn. - Oh. - And yeah, I'm sure, and that is clearly a relative of theirs. Of course, they literally like, they are like millionaires because they just like, had all the land first. - I don't like that. Vote 'em out. - I'm calling on Fluegerville citizens now. Vote out the Weiss and Flueger families. Get 'em out. - They've both been in power. That's so funny. Of course, it's a Weiss. That makes all of this more. - Yeah. I like that your town has that too. - Yeah. I'm working on a will right now. - Whoa. - I'm working on a will and testament. - Early. - Yeah. Well, my business guy was like, you need to get your children in. - Oh, yeah. - You said this to me as well. - And I'm not leaving anybody anything. - Whoa. - Specifically because of this. I don't want my little cousin sitting around going like, oh, he's cool, but would be nice. Think again, bitch. - All the charity. - I'm giving everything to my aunt. And she will distribute it. I'll tell her, I'll give her some general ideas. I'll say, pay off a couple bills for everybody. - Yeah. - Whatever that is. And then give the rest away. Nobody's gonna be sitting around waiting on me to die. - Whoa. - Y'all aren't getting anything. And another thing. - Yeah. - For any interested young gay men. - Pre-Nope. - We're signing a pre-Nope. - Sure, sure, sure. - That makes sense. I think everybody should, honestly. - An extensive one. - I think if you think you're gonna have anything for real, I think it's like, it just makes more sense. - I think someday I might. And so we're signing a pre-Nope. - Oh, you're doing fine. - Pre-Nope. - Is that from an actual song or is that just a literal one? - Yeah, it's a song I'm writing right now. - They're gonna play it in my way. - For any potential soon up. - You're, you're electric sliding down the aisle. - Pre-Nope. - Me signing up the wedding, he signed a pre-Nope. - You don't need to sign that pre-Nope. - I can't be good. - I hope, you know, I'm excited to be at the wedding. - You'll be there. - Yeah, I'm excited to meet this beautiful fellow black man. (laughing) - If he's out there. God, God, if you can hear me. Devon's God and all other gods. - Yeah. - Send me whoever, I'm interested. - Yeah, of course. - Devon, it's been beautiful to have you. I can't wait to have you again. Tell the people where they can find you. Follow me on Instagram, Devon Walker, Internet Devon. Follow the podcast. Caleb has been on for an episode. It's called My Favorite lyrics. It's so fun. We are legitimately building a, we're building a base of guests that I don't think any other podcast has ever had. We've had both Cash Cobain, The Rapper, and Chloe Trost. Nobody can ask, nobody other podcast can say that. - They're not doing that. - And yeah, check it out. It's honestly a blast. And somebody that you like has probably been on it already. So, go peep. - Yeah, oh yeah.
Podcast Summary
Key Points:
The speaker shares a personal journey of self-improvement, focusing on stretching, discipline, and physical fitness, emphasizing the importance of movement and flexibility.
They have adopted a structured 75-day routine ("75 Caleb") involving daily habits like calling loved ones, practicing Spanish, reading, writing, taking vitamins, reducing screen time, and avoiding soda, weed, and fast food.
The speaker expresses skepticism toward traditional religious beliefs, particularly the idea of a jealous, all-powerful God, finding it illogical and emotionally inconsistent. Instead, they lean toward a belief in a greater plan and personal comfort in spirituality without literal punishment or eternal suffering.
They discuss personal experiences with health, such as a panic attack linked to weed use, and their growing awareness of body limitations in their 30s, which motivates them to adopt better physical habits.
The conversation touches on cultural and social dynamics—like family traditions, identity, and ancestral lineage—through the lens of 23andMe, with humor and caution about confronting uncomfortable truths.
The speaker highlights the importance of community, personal accountability, and joy in everyday actions, including fun activities like swiveling in chairs and playing paddle sports.
Summary:
Caleb shares a candid and humorous reflection on personal growth, self-discipline, and evolving beliefs. He details a 75-day challenge ("75 Caleb") that includes daily habits like calling loved ones, practicing Spanish, reading, writing, taking vitamins, and cutting back on unhealthy habits like soda, weed, and fast food. He emphasizes physical wellness, admitting he’s been neglecting stretching and has recently begun to prioritize flexibility and movement, especially as he enters his 30s.
The conversation also explores his critical view of traditional religious concepts, particularly the idea of a jealous, all-powerful God, which he finds illogical and emotionally inconsistent. Instead, he expresses a more personal, comforting belief in a greater plan—without eternal punishment or hell. He shares personal experiences with health, such as a panic attack linked to marijuana use, and reflects on how these moments have deepened his awareness of his body and the need for self-care.
The discussion touches on ancestral exploration through DNA testing, which he finds both exciting and unsettling, and ends with a light-hearted celebration of lifestyle choices, community, and joy in everyday activities like paddle sports and simple rituals. The tone is self-aware, humorous, and grounded in authenticity.
FAQs
She started stretching about two days a week, but acknowledges it's not enough and that she needs to improve significantly.
She aims to become extremely flexible, specifically to be able to do a full split and perform movements like putting one leg over the head.
75 Caleb is a 75-day personal challenge involving daily habits like calling loved ones, 30 minutes of Spanish practice, reading, writing, and taking vitamins.
No, she has quit both soda and weed, with the latter due to a health incident and a panic attack two weeks prior.
She wants to become stronger and more flexible, and she’s currently working with a personal trainer to improve strength and flexibility.
She recognizes that she’s not stretching enough and sees it as a crucial part of maintaining physical health and body awareness, especially as she enters her 30s.
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