Democracy Goes Postal

Welcome to Love It or Leave It, live from Hollywood. I'm John Lovett. We've got a great show for you tonight, but first, let's get into it. What a week. CBS News reported on Friday that FBI Director Kash Patel has weakened the Bureau's rules for what is disqualifying in a background check for new agents. Some of these restrictions just went too far, said newly minted special agent George Santos. For example, in certain cases, hiring a prostitute is no longer a deal breaker as long as the applicant has not done so for three or more times and not in the past 10 years. This is just common sense, added Kash Patel, because maybe you were too nervous the first time to have a good experience and she kind of laughed at the end. And, and, if you've stolen from an employer, that's not disqualifying either anymore, as long as it occurred more than three years ago. It's in keeping with the FBI's classic motto, forgive and forget. And, and, applicants who have engaged in animal cruelty or bestiality may still be considered as long as the incidents occurred before the age of 18. Well, you know what they say, kids fuck the darndest things. Bad news, Kash Patel fired counterterrorism officials and other seasoned FBI professionals for having investigated the President's crimes and his incompetence and politicization of the Bureau has led to a mass exodus of talent and experience, which has surely made our society more vulnerable to all kinds of crime, from tax fraud to terrorist attacks. But good news, the FBI applicant who killed frogs as a kid and got fired from a Kroger in 2022 after they caught him on camera walking out with a cake every night only paid for two blow jobs. In other harrowing DOJ news, two federal election monitors showed up at a polling place in Cheyenne, Wyoming, without advance notice, where they tried to interview voters and examine voting machines to the confusion of local officials. Dammit, Brian, why'd you bring us here? This is a waste of time, said one of the DOJ's election monitors. You said we were supposed to investigate urban areas, replied the other. Yes, urban areas, Brian, urban. Yeah, this is Wyoming's urban area, Mike. Jesus Christ, how did you get into the FBI? I only had sex with one chicken. We've been doing more of these plays in the episodes, and I would say, so far, I would say, medium results. Wyoming's Republican Governor Mark Gordon told reporters, quote, it was aggressive, unexpected, disruptive, certainly didn't seem to show respect for the state. The state's lieutenant governor could only shake his head because he's a moose. In other terrifying democracy news, Senator Richard Blumenthal released a statement by a whistleblower alleging that the Trump administration's scheme to monitor mail-in ballots through the Postal Service has potentially catastrophic problems that could disenfranchise millions of people. I knew it. Our nation's dogs were right about these guys all along. In fact, the Postal Workers Union and the National Association of Letter Carriers opposed the executive order, said the head of the Postal Workers Union. This is the worst thing to happen to the mail since everyone stopped using the mail, added the president of the letter carriers. Please send a letter. You gotta send a letter. It's insane how fun it is once you try to send a letter. For example, on July 3rd, 1776, John Adams wrote a letter to Abigail Adams that said, and I quote, "I am well aware of the toil and blood and treasure that it will cost us to maintain this declaration and support and defend these states. Yet through all the gloom, I can see the rays of ravishing light and glory." Letters are pretty cool. Compare that to the dumb bullshit you text your dumb bored wife. Send a fucking letter. Fuck! A federal judge has issued a temporary restraining order to block the Postal Service from implementing the order, and there is a hearing this week to determine whether a longer-term injunction is necessary as the case makes its way to the Supreme Court. "I wonder how we'll rule," said Samuel Alito while raising a flag over his vacation home that says, "I hate the post office." Speaking of letting your freak flag fly, Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy and his wife, Rachel Campos Duffy, appeared on Fox to share some marital wisdom. I'm gonna come back and give you my take on Sidney Sweeney's breasts. No. Nope, actually, don't. Stop. Shut up. Don't do that. But he continued, "God made us a certain way to appreciate and want to meet with a woman, and women are made the same way to want to be with a man." Added Duffy, "I'm glad the FBI just okayed bestiality because I'm ready to pounce on those sweater puppies." "My God, look at those two jumbos smashing together," said a horrified air traffic controller desperately trying to get Sean Duffy's attention. I just want you to imagine what would have happened if, in an interview, side-by-side with Chasten, our former Secretary of Transportation, Pete Buttigieg, had said, "Check out the bulge on Henry Cavill, a-wooga, a-wooga." It kind of would have been cool, right? I would have actually thought that was awesome. All right. Meanwhile, J.D. Vance appeared on a podcast to talk about religion this week. What I'm trying to focus on is doing as much of God's work as possible right now. And if that leads to the end times, okay. No. Not okay. Not okay. Bad vice president. Not okay. Also, maybe before you get to doing God's work, you try doing some of J.D.'s work, though I do think it would take a miracle to reopen the Strait of Hormuz. Some foreign policy. All right. Vance also defended Trump's use of AI-generated images and claimed Trump didn't mean to post a picture of himself as God when he did exactly that. He is so fascinated by technology and so fascinated by AI. And so, like, when people bring him these memes of, "Oh, look at what this building could look like. Oh, you know. Here's you hanging out with, like, Abraham Lincoln and, you know, Mao Zedong." He'll be like, "Oh, that's, like -- look, it actually looks like a photo of me." God, Trump must have lost his mind at the Disney Hall of Presidents. "How am I up there and down here, and why do I look so goddamn good?" It's funny, added J.D. The president just loves his reflection. He actually was looking at his reflection in this little pond, and he couldn't move. He was just transfixed and slowly rotted away until he became a flower that hated immigrants. Google this week changed their maps. Just say "Lake America" for users in the U.S., according to Trump's dumb, fake executive order. Say it with me, "Booogle." Said Google in a statement, "People using maps in the U.S. will see Lake America. Those in Canada will see Lake Ontario. And those outside the U.S. in Canada will see both names." Apple eventually followed suit, changing the name on their maps as well, but in a slightly more beautiful font. Say it with me, "Booople." "Booople." "MapQuest." Say it with me, "Booople." "MapQuest" is now the number one navigation app on the Apple App Store, because MapQuest is refusing to change the lake's name. Thank you, MapQuest, for still instructing users to drive into Lake Ontario. And finally, we have one more joke, and we may cut it, and you'll see why. And based on where we're at together, I don't have a lot of time to say it, but I'm going to say it. "Booople." "MapQuest." "Booople." "MapQuest." "Booople." "MapQuest." "Boople." "MapQuest." "Boople." "MapQuest." Ontario. And based on where we're at together, I don't have a lot of high hopes, so this is sort of just for us, probably. Iran and the U.S. have traded strikes over the last few days, marking the first major attacks between the two countries since July. That's right, it's back-to-school bombing season. Uh-oh, looks like it's back-to-me-bombing season. And we've got a great show for you tonight. We'll be right back with Lauren Lapkus and Brian Posehn. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. This episode is sponsored by the International Rescue Committee. Right now, there are millions of children struggling to survive in conflict zones around the world, like Sudan and Gaza. They're not only facing hunger, but also unsafe water and little or sometimes no access to basic health care. That's why the work of the International Rescue Committee is so important. International Rescue Committee is more important than ever. 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So if you're interested in that kind of bullshit out there, we need to compete. So head on over to cricket.com slash friends to subscribe. All right. Please welcome to the stage, the be my dream guest in every universe, it's Brian Fosain and Lauren Labkus. Hi. Hi. Nice to see you. Hi. Hi. Nice to meet you. Thanks for being here. Come on in. What's happening? Hi. Thanks for having us. Brian and Lauren. Yes. You both star in HBO Max's new show, Stuart Fails to Save the Universe, which is a spinoff of the Big Bang Theory. But you're not, listen, I don't, Big Bang Theory. You weren't either high up on the call sheet of that thing. No. You're not. No. 17. Because you weren't. I was probably like 900 at that point. Because neither of you were Sheldon. No, I wasn't. Or young Sheldon. No, no, no. You're not, you're neither or old Sheldon. But thank you for thinking it could be young Sheldon. That's very flattering. Yeah. Yeah. It's giving young Sheldon. But so. How did this, how does it come to pass that you're part of a spinoff of which, how many years ago was it? Oh my God. Well, it ended in 28 or 19, 2018. Yeah. Right before the pandemic. 30 years ago. Yeah. And I mean, for me, I came on in season 11 as Stuart's girlfriend, the guy who runs the comic book store. And so I was in, I don't know, just a handful of episodes, like eight episodes in season 11 and 12. And then the show ended. And I mean, you know, that's how things go. And so it was great. I had a great time and then got this call out of the blue. But I mean, Brian was on. You did many more episodes than I was. Yeah. I did like 15 or so. Oh, I thought it was a lot more. No, not a ton more. But very memorable. But the first time I went on, I didn't, my character didn't even have a name. It was just like weird guy, which I'd done a bunch of those over the years. That's not my first weird guy. So yeah. And then they named him Bert. And then they kept bringing me back. And like Chuck would go, we love you. We'll bring you back. I was like, yeah, sure. Because you never get told that again as an actor, you know, you get told that all the time. We got to do something together. Yeah. We got to bring you back. Right, right, right. This was so fun. But then it happened. And then, so when he called me, my phone literally said Chuck Lorre's office. And I, he'd never called me before. And I showed it to my wife and I'm just holding it like an idiot. I was like, you should probably answer that. And I'm like, yeah, okay. And then he was like, we're coming up. We came up with this thing. We're reaching out to Kevin and Lauren. And I was just like. And he was like, of course, like whatever it is. It was so surreal. He asked me if I wanted to do it. And it was like for the right price. Yeah. For my quote. I'll think about it. I'm such. Wow. That is an amazing opportunity. Thank you so much for thinking of me. I got a lot on my plate. I'm going to see if I can shuffle some things around and make it work depending on the deal. Yeah. Can you write it up and send it over? Yeah. Let's see. Now, you do have a connection from years and years ago, right? Yes. I babysat Brian's son 15 years ago. That was how I first met you. Yeah. Was playing on the floor with blocks with you watching. She was our backup nanny. She was friends with our nanny. I was the backup. My friend was their nanny and she would get sick every once in a while. And then I would show up and hang out. And it's so funny because, I mean, I already obviously knew who Brian was from TV and stuff. So it was like I had moved to L.A. and I'm like, wow, I'm with a celebrity babysitting his baby. All our nannies were like actresses. And writers and comedy people because my wife's a manager. So she would just like talk to them and, you know, maybe talk about representing them and go, hey, how are you with kids? That's a cool. That's a cool bait and switch for sure. Yeah. And now his son is taller than me. So it's crazy. He's taller than everybody. So like playing with the kid and be like, am I in the business? Is this the business? Is this happening right now? Am I making it? Is this making it now? Brian, you talked to our producer, Kelsey. And Kelsey was like, oh, do you have any stories about doing this show? And I want to just this is a paraphrase of what you said. Oh, no. About any funny on set stories. You said, I don't have any funny on set stories, but I'm the happiest I've been in years. That's nice. You're the happiest you've been in years. It's true. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Because as an actor, this is the dream, you know, to be with your friends and to be on a show and then to find out you're already doing. We already found out we're doing a second season. Yeah. So like. Yeah. I've been the man guy my whole life. I've been like, everything sucks. And now it's you know, it sucks is I can't be that guy anymore. Right. Because I wake up going, this is awesome. Sort of some sort of like existential thing happening. For sure. Who are you? Happened on the show. Well, I have one story of when we were crying, laughing. Oh, yeah. We made each other laugh all the time. Are you going to throw? He told it already publicly. Yeah, that's true. It was told publicly. So I felt like it was OK to tell because it's I mean, it's not. It's not. I'm building it up. One of our fellow actors farted during a scene. We couldn't stop laughing because he farted. Well, it was great because he had to push over an old lady who was a stunt person, but also was like 80 years old. And she was amazing. She was like on Star Trek. No, she was like. Doing stunts on Star Trek. Incredible. She played a kid in like Goonies or something. But she's like 4'11 and she's amazing. But she she he had to run and push her down and then fall. And as he fell, he farted, which is like just the best thing that could happen to me. Only we. No one else heard it except for Lauren. And we had to check with each other. Did you hear that? And then just crying for two days straight. Like every time we brought it up, we couldn't stop. Yeah. Just as he fell on top of this. As he fell on top of the device that helps us travel to different universes. And he ripped it. Just ripped one. Yeah. It was kind of like a good class. It was trumpety, I think. No, it was like. Farts. They're so funny. It just always kills. It's so funny. It's so funny. It's a funny thing, too, because it's like it's not that different from a sneeze, you know, in terms of like it's not. It's involuntary. You can kind of decide where it happens, but not fully. Sometimes you're in control. Sometimes you're not at all. Sometimes you can stop it. Sometimes you can't stop it. We all do it. It's a little gross. Right. But if you if you if you just it should be we should live in a world where you can just fart and say, I'm so sorry. It's like, it's fine. Yeah. It's actually totally. Yeah. We all do it. What are you going to do? I was at. A hotel this weekend and I woke up at like seven in the morning and I was going to drive home and the hotel was pretty quiet and like it was a but it's a long corridor and there was a couple like 15, 20 feet ahead of me and he just ripped one. No. Just a massive fart. Massive. They were just standing there. They were walking and we were both walking toward the lobby and I was they didn't know I was there and now I'm walking through the fucking mist. And we're based on the layout. We're going to come. We're going to see each other. Yeah. And so now like they're joking about she's like, oh, how could you do that? And he's like, whatever. But I do. They had no idea that they weren't completely alone. And I was like, I need them to know they're not alone because in a moment we're going to have a moment. And I said, I just shouted. Nice one. And he looked back at me like I'm an asshole. I was like, I was doing something. Cool. Yeah. I'm cool. I'm acknowledged. I'm the cool one here. No, you're gross. I'm cool. According to the rules of culture. I mean, I'm I'm kind of glad that I don't have a husband who just is like, you know, guys who come over and just fart on. Right. I was like, it's there to be funny. And I don't really like that. I mean, it seems like that woman deals with that all the time. It sounds like your husband's gay. I did that to Christian Slater once. You farted on him. Not intentionally. I farted outside of an audition. And he came out of the audition and walked into my fart cloud. And as I walked into the audition, I heard him go, God damn it. He was so mad at my fart that he did his Jack Nicholson impression. You can't handle the toot. No, I don't have it. That was something. Something. Yeah. I didn't commit. I didn't commit. That's for sure. That's for sure. Now. Lauren, Brian, you're a nerd. that goes without saying you've self-described yes for sure for sure you identify your yes nerd slash nerd identify as a nerd right lauren do you identify as a nerd would you say i feel like i am but i don't necessarily identify i feel like i feel like john like john ross bowie in our cast has been like you're a nerd and i'm like okay fine like i i like nerds and they're great i just don't really have like necessarily the honed in special interests that some nerds have so i don't have a list of things that i'm obsessed with well do you think at this point like so people it will often happen that someone will assume i know dungeons dragons yeah but i actually don't i don't really i've never played dungeons in dragons and we were talking about what why i there's ways in which i feel like a nerd but also my i don't ever have the obsessive fan interest in any one thing yeah like i dabble but i never really sink in and there's so like i feel like becoming a nerd and becoming investing in something used to be more expensive just by time and effort right and there's something we've lost that's made being a nerd more accessible but sort of ill-defined yeah well that's true too because you'd have to seek out the things without the internet you'd have to like go find the cool store and like get into it and i don't know right right but also nerdiness i feel like the word nerd is thrown around for everything now and it used to be you know it was like derogatory when i was a nerd i started going oh i'm a nerd like i watch so much sex in the city and it's like you're not a nerd like just liking something doesn't make you a nerd right nerd is obsession and just having to you know knowing everything about that thing and collecting that thing and you know yeah there's a i feel like there has to be a kind of almost like like to to be a true it's like archetypal nerd you have to love something and be obsessed with it to the point that you don't realize that you are interested in something more than other people you know it has to be some kind of social thing where you're like yeah you're you're actually quite you're a bit obsessed in a way that's sort of uncomfortable right now brian you were that's true considered too nerdy for your high school dungeons and dragons group true story yeah yeah so i tried to join and uh the guy that was uh i was in seventh grade and it was an eighth grade kid that was running our uh at my middle school that was running our dnd club and i my mom was like encouraging me to join some sort of club so i went i this is something i didn't hadn't played at that point but i wanted to play so she took me like i don't think it was barnes and noble but it was like bookstore got my dnd book i didn't have my dice or anything yet but i just had the book the early book and uh i went to the meeting and this kid that i went to christian camp with and and went to sunday school with uh eighth grader he just saw me and he was like uh posain and i just turned around and didn't even go into the building i just left you know in the in the in the in hindsight i think about that there is a sometimes the worst the the hardest rung the the the biggest fights were from bottom rung to first oh yeah the kind of the the most that the meanest yeah the meanest the meanest bullies were the people on the second rung of that ladder because it was just because it was just it was just it was just it was just because there were so few people below them to target and so i was just like looking up being like what do you mean i'm not welcome in the library sitting hang school this is the we're the kids that just go to the library for lunch and i can't sit with you maybe i am gay i might not look like a nerd i might look like a nerd but my but i have normal passions say basic do you have a little croissant on your sleeve it's just a i think it's a symbol for the for the oh okay i was excited no it's my little croissant my little croissant uh the point is when it comes to nerddom you can't always judge a book by its sexy sexy cover what but i'm going to ask you both to make a ruling when we play nerd or not yes here's how it works i will read off a famous person's name and a little bit about their nerd credentials and you'll decide is this person a nerd or not okay here we go first up henry cavill no actor but oh sorry now wait right i think i know something about him oh wait okay okay i won't judge a book by his sexy sexy cover right you just you like you had a visceral reaction i just thought there's no way but maybe there is a diehard warhammer fan yeah which is the one where you painstakingly paint figurines one of us fuck he is one of us wow yeah no giant handsome nerd they exist that's kind of hot i met a couple handsome nerds he also built those little things he paints he also built his own computer that's awesome fucking i know he's got it all okay so nerd or not no he is a nerd a hundred yeah he is totally wrong our prettiest nerd yeah an honorable nerd mentioned for uh uh joe manganello yes who runs a dnd event yeah he's a nerd i didn't know that i played with him you did so he came to my house and played dnd and my wife told all her friends like oh my god he came with a box of his characters he's the nerd he was nerdier than me like i never i like i paint figures but i never had them all like that's cute alphabetically in a box like him and patten oswalt those are the two yeah didn't patten oswalt write a he didn't he write it forward to your nerdy book yes yeah and we used to play dnd together and we were roommates and i didn't know you needed to have a figurine in the game i thought you just kind of talked about yeah you play it different ways but it's cool to have one yeah it's cooler yeah yeah i struggle with a game where there's not clear rules and somebody can be in charge and decide what happens i like to know i like to know what i think you'd like it i played it once before and i really enjoyed myself i've it's like improv say that again but mean it i'm held hostage um no it was great next up yeah sam altman uh open ai founder he's heavy into sci-fi novels and luxury cars like this two million dollar car cone that's a two million dollar car konigsegg regera oh i don't know i have a bugatti that's the one i know about wow okay it's not i mean i just have a bugatti but that's the i mean i think that's fancy right i mean not as fancy as this it's sort of i think of like a bugatti as sort of like entry-level luxury okay this is two million dollars right what does it do i don't know nothing a two hundred thousand dollar bugatti can't do i'll tell you that much so it's like let's not be crazy uh yeah he's a nerd yeah i think he is i think he is even though yes even though he said in july artificial intelligence will reshape the material conditions of human life on a scale that no technology has accomplished since the harnessing of electricity yeah well he also said that people should like talk to their kids through an ai app but he's also probably said wedgies hurt in many ways this is what we're dealing with is the ultimate it's like revenge of the nerds no that's what that is actually like be careful what you wish for yeah it's actually there's no more dangerous force right yeah than an angry nerd like like like when the sphere in the book sphere gets mad i don't know that one but yeah yeah and finally megan the stallion now let's find out self-described weeb and baddie she loves anime she's referencing jujutsu kaisen naruto and attack on titan and more in her songs she's an extensive history of cosplay as anime characters from jojo's bizarre adventure soulbender and she's also an anime character leader and of course sailor moon oh that's cool yeah i think that's nerdy i think that's cool wow i love that thank you to brian and lauren you can see them in stewart fails to save the universe on hbo max and you can go to at lauren lapkus on instagram for live dates and brian posain.com for brian's dates and we'll be right back thank you hey don't go anywhere there's more of love it or leave it coming up love it or leave it is brought to you by tommy john whether you're stuck on a long flight or powering through a full work day the wrong underwear can ruin your entire day but tommy john has completely solved that introducing their new dry comfort underwear designed to keep you cool dry and comfortable year round it helps regulate your temperature so it's not just for summer it's built for comfort in every season what sets it apart is tommy john's first ever brushed microfiber fabric it gives you an ultra soft luxurious feel while still delivering elite stretch breathability and moisture management plus you still get all the signature details the stay put waistband the quick draw fly and supportive contour pouch gotta have that everyday i'm wearing it right now i wear it they have a bunch of different fabrics you 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To love it or leave it, listeners, that's helixsleep.com slash loveit for 27% off site-wide. helixsleep.com slash loveit. And we're back! It's time to tuck into another delightful interview with my next guest, Trinity the Tuck! Welcome. Hi. Wow, this is messy. It's a little messy. And wait till we get to the questions. Okay. So, I wanted to start with this because we've never met, and I was so excited to talk to you because I want to just play this clip. So, just to set up this clip. This is from Snapchat. It's a Snatch Game, All-Star 7, where it's one of the best Snatch Games of all time. Jinx is playing. Wow. You had to bring up her as the best Snatch Game of all time. I'm about. Trust me, I'm going to have such a compliment for you. Thank you. Just please, I promise. So, Jinx is playing Judy Garland. You are playing Leslie Jordan. And I believe you have one of the best jokes I have ever heard. Ever seen on an unscripted show. I think. And I want to play the clip because it is truly probably my favorite joke ever on Drag Race. So, I just want to play the clip. Play the best woman with love. They changed it to drag queen. That, if you. That, I fucking. Was that just off the top of your head? Was that just in the moment you thought of that and did that joke? Was there any part of it that was scripted? Did you know what was coming? No. I, you know, I was bored at Snatch Game because it was literally the Jinx show. She literally was incredible. And I was just there. I was like, girl, I'm so bored. I'm like ready for this to be over because she's literally singing and singing and singing. And then I was like, oh, wait. She said the wrong lyrics. And then I was like, she changed it to drag queen. And so, it just came out naturally. And I was just talking to somebody about this. Had RuPaul interrupted at any point before that, I would have never said that. And then it would have never been. Right. And you just. It was such a great. It was so funny because it was sort of this unremarked upon thing in the show. And actually, it goes to something deeper about the show. So, the original lyric was like, gentlemen, start your engines. May the best woman win. Yes. And then it was changed to drag queen. To drag queen, yes. In part because there were non-binary people, trans people that were participating. And, like. It was so. And Jinx used the old lyric, which was fine. And then you did that. And, like, I wonder if just. Have you thought about how drag race has changed? I mean, you've changed how you identify since being on drag race. I think a lot of people that were on the show in some. Especially the very early seasons, it was still at a time when it was cisgendered men being drag queens. And now it's changed a lot. And I wonder how you feel about that. I think that, you know, the show has evolved. Vocabulary has. Like, knowledge has evolved. For me, drag has always been not just an art form and something to explore, like, creative stuff. But also to explore gender identity and how I feel in that form. So, I always have identified as an in-between before I even knew what non-binary was. And so, when the non-binary movement became, like, really popular, I was like. So in right now. That's. Yes. Love it. But that's kind of. I was like. That's what I mean when I say in-between. It's like I, of course, was born a man. And if someone's called me a man, it's hard to offend me. But I genuinely feel very, like. Not either or. You said when you had posted something and then deleted it. And I'm sorry if I shouldn't bring it up because you deleted it. But I thought it was very vulnerable when you talked about how you viewed yourself as trans non-binary. And in that post, you talked about your struggle with whether or not to identify as a woman. In part because you worried about whether you would look in the mirror and like the woman you saw. And I wonder if how you feel about that has changed. If that's still how you feel. So I didn't. I deleted it off of my feed. But I had it in my. Like the little bubble thing that you have on your. Like the story thing. I don't know what it's called. They made Instagram too complicated or I'm too old or both. Girl, I can't. Technology is. I'm ranting. But I didn't delete it. It was somewhere on my profile. Somewhere. The kids could find it. And so I still think to this day that I'm still exploring. Like how I feel. I would have transitioned a long time ago. And I actually did try whenever I first started drag. Like I got on hormones and all of that. I just. I am a very vain person. And probably going to hell for that. And I really want to not get into a situation that I'm going to regret. And so I think if I can't look how I want to look, I'm fine looking how I look. Out of drag now. So I'd rather be semi-comfortable than like really uncomfortable if I were to make the wrong decision and regret it later. What's interesting to me about that is I think in part because there's so much hostility to gender nonconformity, whatever that looks like. And there's so much politics. There's a lot of like. On the part of people, pro-trans movement. The pro-LGBT movement. There's a lot of fear around allowing any connection between body dysmorphia or just not liking the way you look. And gender dysphoria, which is not feeling like you're the gender that you were assigned when you were born. But they are a little. They are connected for people. And maybe if we weren't so worried about what happened in politics, we'd be able to be more honest about the connection between how you want to present regardless of gender. And how you want to present. In your gender. What is really interesting is people in general, especially in politics, try to fit everybody. You're either this or you're that. And as humans, no two humans have the same experience regardless. No two humans think exactly the same. No two humans go through life the exact same. And two people that are questioning their identity, whether it be sexuality or their gender, are totally different. Totally going to think totally different. I don't. Even if I was to transition to live my life on the binary of being a trans woman, I still don't. I didn't grow up feeling like I was a little girl as a little kid. So there's other trans women who have grown up feeling they were born a little girl. So it's different for everybody. That's why I say. I say non-binary. Because I don't. Even if I was to get beautiful breasts, I still don't know that I would identify as a trans woman. I would still be non-binary. Non-binary with beautiful breasts. Yeah, exactly. Now, I didn't realize when you were the co-winners of All Stars with Monet that you didn't film it as a tie. I didn't know that. You didn't see the reaction? Well, I saw the reaction. But I thought that was. I thought. I didn't understand. What was happening when you found out? We were all confused. So we were watching this at a bar across the street from Wow Studios. And, like, their office building. And. So Monet thought she won. I thought I won. Because you film it both ways. Yeah. Yeah, there's a double crowning. So because there was a leak. There were leaks. Now, during Raja's season, I think that was, like, season three, since then, they've done multiple crownings. So you actually find out when it airs. You find out when it airs. And so Monet thought she won. I thought I won. And what's crazy is, while we were getting dressed, there was a leak on Reddit that my boyfriend, who was dressing me backstage, and Monet's dress. Yes, sir. Saw. But because they were. All of World of Wonder's staff. was back there, they couldn't tell us. They were literally this close to us and they knew that it was a tie and couldn't tell us. And so we were just like, we won, I won, I won. She's like, I won. And so when it showed, I was like, what the hell? And I, at first I always, I always used to tell people I was confused. Like I didn't hear, but it was more like, I can't believe that it did this. And if I don't get this full hundred thousand dollars, I'm going to be pissed. But you did both get the hundred. But we both did get the hundred. And so after that, when, when I realized we actually got the hundred, I kind of calmed down, but, but you know what, I'm in it for the money. And so that's when it like hit us. And you know, we, we, they took us immediately from there after we found out to the Casey Musgraves concert. Um, no, it was not fun. Um, not because of her, they had us backstage the whole time. And, uh, they brought us out at the end of her concert to do like the big announcement to like the world and, um, backstage while we're waiting for hours. Um, we pull each other to the side and we're like, I wish they would have just picked you or they should have picked me. And because as a, as a competitor, you want to win or you rather be the other person because a tie can take away from you. And that, but what we really learned throughout that year, we didn't, our reigns did not cross paths a lot. We were booked separately, probably because both of our fees were a lot. And, um, but later on, like we, after our, after we gave up the title, we did tour a lot more together and I would not change that for anything. I really love Monet. I think she's so different than me. And, um, one thing, cause when we won together, this was in the height of, um, the Black Lives Matter movement and all of this rhetoric of, um, black versus white. And it really had me thinking much after we found out that we won how great it was on, on an international television show that you have a black person and a white person, both queer being uplifted and shown as equal. And that, that really made me feel very okay with that decision. Now, Monet did say later on the show that you were a little savage about in, in, in competition. Are you a, are you, how are you as a competitor? How tough? I'm a hungry bottom, honey. I, I wanted all, no, I'm, I'm a pageant queen. So I am, I'm a competitor. I, I definitely, I will say I'm a fair competitor though. Cause there was, there's times that I could have been shady, uh, especially on all-stars for that. I didn't, I really wanted to compete against the best. So I, I did not try to sabotage other people. I wanted to be thought about it. Of course. Well, what was an example of a time where you could have, uh, played dirty? Uh, well, uh, the time that I eliminated Latrice who had already been eliminated, there were several other girls that made it to the top four that I could have just eliminated. I could have pulled their lipstick or lipstick and then eliminated them instead. And I think Monet was in that group. Wow. Yes. But, um, I, I, I, at the time I really played fair. The thing is though, if I was to go back now, they're, they, they changed the rules and how they play the game now. It's very much strategy and I would be so shady. I would be, I would be vicious. I want to go on traders. You should go on traders. Let's go on traders. Pretend we hate each other. Yes. I would be the best faithful. That's exciting. Yeah. How do we get there? Let's get this. Hey, send this to Peacock. Yeah. Hey, get this to Peacock bill. Get this to Peacock. Send these to our contacts at Peacock. Send it to the bird. Does anybody know anyone? Does anyone know anyone at the bird? Sorry. Now you just finished your European drag tour, uh, for the naked tour. Yeah. You've been to Brazil and Asia. How are the, how is like a US audience different than an international audience when it comes to drag? Oh, I think the US is so spoiled. We have so much great drag here and you can find it anywhere, especially in LA. Um, I think the fans here are so spoiled. They, they're kind of like, eh, it's Trinity. But like going to Brazil where up until maybe last year, they just got a franchise in Brazil, race like it would be few and far between that the queens would travel down there to brazil to do shows so it would be insane it would be insane i don't know if you've ever heard from other guests like musicians um would go to brazil and everybody would be like come to brazil come to brazil come to brazil literally all of my um comment section come to brazil come to brazil and um so they're way more excited um in places that they don't get drag all the time um versus the u.s although you know my fans here are amazing too but i think that in places that don't it's like i'm from alabama girl the country i grew up in a town where we didn't even have a red light so if there was a band that was coming we were really excited so i would imagine it's kind of the same you know when you don't have a lot of that like something cool when something cool comes to town you get excited about it so many cool is coming to town yeah um now uh it's time for a segment we're calling trinity untucked the body is here bitches that was nice now you host a podcast called i live for this where you and chantelle sparkles you get pretty personal i don't think it's a lot you don't talk about yeah uh so we have a lightning round game in which we want to ask you hard-hitting questions we want your quick reaction okay here we go trinity untucked lightning round are there any trends in drag right now that you think are repulsive or even worse boring oh yes when um drag artists just straight up copy other other things that they see i i need some creativity i need you to be something different um i also think i know i know we're supposed to like all drag but girl put on a pad i want i want to see a little bit of shape it makes the crowd i want to see a little bit of shape it makes the crowd i want to see a little bit of shape clothes look completely different um some people there are caveats some people have that model-esque body and they can get away with it uh but i want to see somebody that i would i would rather see somebody that's very voluptuous with lots of shape than a little rail with some fabric on i i just i need some shape you need some shape yeah are you afraid of getting old of course girl i've had i've had like three face jobs by now um i say that like nose and all of yes uh who who doesn't i i don't want to get old i am getting old and getting old some people don't some i am afraid of getting old but some people have a better attitude about it because they understand that it's inevitable and to be afraid of something inevitable is to give up well i used to be used to surrender to something for into which you have no control okay well before i was on drag race i was also a national makeup artist for brand and so i got to put makeup on very mature skin and i don't want to look like that no offense if anybody is old and you you are embracing it good for you that could never be me but it will but they don't you understand the alternative the what i will eventually you have another enough facelifts where my lips are out to here yes oh i say thank you yes oh you know when i found out that we both had our ears pinned back yes i regret it because i think having point ears my ears out would have been like a signature for me do you regret getting your ears pinned back no i don't regret anything none of those no i have all of the pieces of skin i'm actually making a puzzle as we speak oh that's so that's so nice that's so beautiful wow piece of what a beautiful piece of art yeah what a what a what a what a lovely cut it off great is there a celebrity you want to tell to stop getting work now before it's too late no i am i i think listen i think that if you plastic surgery is personal and if if that is something that you want to do and it's not hurting you and you are happy yes do it and if you are happy with the way you look naturally good for you but um i i support anybody that does anything that doesn't hurt anybody else to be happy i agree i agree completely i actually think i agree with also i also like that you talk about it because i think people pretending they haven't done it i think is the wrong girl the kardashians can i say that here you can say kardashian okay yes if you look at the before and after picture girl they're nobody's believing that sweetie no one's believing that if okay so you're about to be on drag race for the first time you can go whisper something into that version of their ears right before they go out you have one last thing one piece of advice they're about to go out for the very first time what would you whisper to yourself right before your first time being on drag race immediately seek out the producers and suck their dick so smart you you want to win honey Yes. Strategy. And that's called strategy. All right? Look it up. Strategy. Chess. Yes. Checkers. If I were to get one cosmetic surgery, what would you recommend? Huh. Your ear's pinned back. I already did that. Again. How could you say that? No, I'm just kidding. How could you say that to me? I'm just kidding. No, let me look. Let me look at you. Let me look at you. You're very handsome. I don't know if I would suggest you have something. I would just make you pay for me to have something. Well, let's get a two for one. Let's just pick something from the menu and see if we can get a deal. No. I love a deal. My doctor already. I have a stamp card. The next time I go get another nose job, I'm getting my knees for free. Wow. Yes. Buy one, get one half off. And on that note, thank you, Trinity. Everybody, listen to I Live For This with Trini the Tuck and Chantel Sparkles and catch Trini on the Naked Tour this fall. And to all across Brazil and Asia, to all our friends in Brazil and Asia listening, check out the tour. Yes. We'll be right back. Love It or Leave It is brought to you by Thrive Market. Summer is coming to a close, which means getting back into our routines, back to school, or back to our health goals. We might have pushed to the side in the name of summer fun. If you're trying to get back on track with your health but are hesitant about the grocery store produce lately, Thrive Market is a great place to stock up on your pantry. They have dried apple rings or dried pineapple. They have kettle-cooked mixed vegetable chips. They have hippie snacks, cauliflower, crisps, whether you're far from a healthy market or just want to avoid crowded aisles and traffic. Thrive Market lets you stock up on all your grocery essentials right from home. Every product is curated, organic, and non-GMO brands vetted before they ever hit the site. Think of Thrive Market like your ingredient detective. They restrict 1,000-plus ingredients. Whole Foods only restricts 300. Thrive Market is the first online grocer to accept Snap EBT Online, and every membership sponsors one for a low-income family. When you shop with Thrive Market this fall and make a donation at checkout, you'll make a direct impact in supporting kids at risk in the U.S. through Save the Children's Learn Without Limits Initiative, where Thrive Market will also help provide healthy snacks and meals for kids in high-speed rural communities. Use my link thrivemarket.com slash loveit to get $30 off your first two orders. That right there covers your membership fee, so sign up now before this exclusive offer ends. You cannot get this deal on the website. It's only through our link thrivemarket.com slash loveit. And we're back! Let's welcome Lauren and Brian back to the show. Welcome to the stage. Come on in. Let's sit back down. They say the squeaky wheel gets the grease. But what about the cranky wheel? Terrific. Let's find out with a spin of the wheel. Here's how it works. The wheel will spin. It'll land on one of our faces. Then you rant about a topic for 60 seconds. It's that simple. Let's spin the wheel. Lauren, it's landed on you. What would you like to rant about for 60 seconds? Online reviews. Okay. Okay. If you're going to leave an online review about a product, a place, a food, you can't include your personal problem that happened to you while dealing with that thing. You can't give something one star because you had a bad day. You can't give shoes one star because they didn't arrive on time for your event. I hate when I go online and I'm trying to buy something or go to a restaurant and the reviews are all skewed by people who have their personal problems coming in the way. And I have to talk for 30 more seconds if you can believe that. And I will because I can talk about anything at any time. I'll give you a one star review really quick for something that I just experienced, okay? I want to think of it right now. The thing that it was. Oh, my husband having the lettuce disease. He got the lettuce disease? I think so, possibly, right now. And then we've been dealing with that at home, okay? One star for having the lettuce shits. Wow. Yes, and I have five seconds to go like this. Yeah, thank you. I feel like getting the lettuce disease now is like just when you thought it was safe to go back in the lettuce. I know. We thought we were out. Now tofu has ink in it. What's with the tofu? I just read that right before I came out here. Oh, no. Yeah. Not the tofu. Let's spin it again. Brian, this line's on you. AI in like Apple Music and Spotify. Oh, here we go. Oh, I should have done that. I could have killed 10 seconds by doing that. Do androids dream of electric sheep? Maybe. I don't care. But robots make shitty mixtapes. I've made mixtapes most of my life, and I've done it on my own, and I've let some AI do it in the last couple of years, and it's terrible. Like, they'll get it. I'll go like, hey, play Iron Maiden. They'll play Iron Maiden. And then they'll go, what about the food? And I'm like, what about go fuck yourself? I didn't mention the food fighters. Why are you bringing up the food? They're nothing like Iron Maiden. Like, what a stupid fucking robot. Like, listen to good music. Suggest Judas Priest. That fits with Iron Maiden. Do your homework, stupid robots. Yeah. Yeah. The. They're. They're. It's also, like, the algorithms that kind of create the playlist, your discover list and all the rest, they go through these phases where it's like, sometimes it's like, hey, I know that I listened to three songs from 1950s, like, rock, but I like other music. Right. Whoa. That was three songs. Now I'm only hearing, you know, Jimmy Valentine and the Something Sisters. And it's like, I don't need that. I need something. I need something else. I need the food fighters. That's the problem. Which I love. Sorry. Sorry that you're wrong about that. I play my kids' music on Apple Music, and then suddenly I'm getting fed Danny Go in between all of my Fleetwood Mac, which is not what I want to listen to either, so. During the pandemic, my number one song of the year was Rain Sounds. That's so sad. You love Rain Sounds. Yeah. Yeah. I need some noise to quiet the noise. Right. So that I may sleep. Mm-hmm. Spotify. But then it might suggest, like, you like Rain Sounds, so you might like Raining Blood by Slayer. And it's like, no. No, I don't. But I do. But I wouldn't want Rain Sounds. Can I tell you an intrusive thought I had when I was in a Rain Sounds era, which is I would go and pick, like, a 12-hour recording of Rain Sounds. And I thought, God, and I'm so sorry to put this into the universe. I'm sorry. What I would think is if you could make a 12-hour thing of Rain Sounds, and then at hour four, you put in glass breaking, window opening, footsteps, you know, where's the money? Where's the money? So scary. That's really frightening. And you would not know. Yeah. Because how would you, you're just choosing, it just looks like Rain Sounds, and someone would fuck up your fucking brain. You'd be fucked up forever. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's scary. And so then I would, then I'd be like, how do I, how do I trust this Rain Sounds? You would never know which one it's in. You can't. Yeah. Yeah. Check all, right. Yeah. Do you ever have any intrusive thoughts, Trinity? Oh, yes. About five while y'all were talking. All right. Let's spin it again. Trinity, what would you like to rant about? Okay. So I am tired of people trying to turn drag queens into Disney princesses. I mean, I literally am a glorified stripper. It's in my name. Trinity the Tuck. I have a penis, I know, and it goes between my butt cheeks. I don't want to read books to children. I don't like children. I embrace the phrase, drag is dangerous, because I hate children. And some drag queens, I get it. They can read to children. I am from Alabama. I can't even read. So I say, bring back Crackling. Crass drag. We suck dick. Some of them do drugs. I can't. My nose will collapse. But, yes, bring back crass drag. We say shit, fuck, and we still have sex. Yes. Yay. Yeah. Bring it back. I love that. I love that. Let's spin it one more time. All right. I'm going to just. The first sentence is going to be. The first sentence is going to be trouble, okay? I'm not sad Dolly Parton died, and I know how that sounds, because. And if you're sad, I respect and understand why you're sad. But my honest reaction to the death of Dolly Parton is, if we are sad about Dolly Parton dying, then we're sad about the best version of what it means to live a life. Because here's somebody that came from nothing, became an international star, and it was a no-hitter. Like, there are no misses. There's no. She was incredible. She is beloved by all. There's no scandal. There's no years in the wilderness after an insincere apology. There's just books to children, and being beloved, and beautiful music, and having a 50-year marriage, and then leaving the earth one year after your beloved husband, having had a beautiful career, and getting to see the full resolution of your talents, and becoming an icon. It's like, if you are sad when someone. And like that goes, what the fuck hope rest of us have when i die when i die i want to say like you know what that's a wrap i did okay i did the best i could and i got to the end you know what i'm saying i don't know yeah i think it's a good perspective i do feel very i feel very sad that she died and i was definitely crying about it but i also think that she had a great life oh absolutely but i think people were mad that one of the good ones went away again and yeah there's so many terrible options that would have been better yeah well i mean like bad people that would have been a better option 80 year olds sure there's some 80 year old yeah you could just say trump yeah i would just you know hell is patient uh as the saying goes uh and i hope you're patient because we are back and we're back i'd say this evening show was perfect to a fault fortunately my producers wrote down all the faults they found in my performance tonight which is why it's time for segment call second thoughts here's how it works i have a list of second thoughts as suggested by the producers of the show for ways in which i could say do better in the future they have a lot on there yeah they take notes they have a lot of notes they have a lot of criticisms and that's how we improve that's how we improve if you have any second thoughts would welcome them i would also note that uh we've introduced something called the kudos and that's where i've done something that they think is good and if if i have done something good they tape an m&m to this piece of paper that has not happened in many weeks uh i wrote a play about election monitors and performed it myself i needlessly introduced a uh a joke about the the god narcissus that we all knew wouldn't work that and i'm sorry uh i also use the term sweater puppies nice for boobs oh yeah yeah oh and i'm sorry it's a regret it's a regret like the 50s that's an old one yeah sweater puppies i don't know when that would be from doesn't feel why are they puppies i immediately said to my guests quote you weren't very high up on the call sheet um facts i then said farts they're so funny i also said quote i'm cool i'm the cool one i called lauren's husband gay that was fine i think that was okay that's not bad it's not bad for me mike would be okay with it let's see uh i can't keep saying i have a bugatti people will believe me oh i did believe i kind of did i fully believed you i don't know anything about cars so i just was like sure yeah well because i have a i mean they're kidding i have a bugatti oh okay not like a crazy one it's like one of the sensible kind of daily kind of a great commuter bugatti um and it's not like lime green or anything it's just orange it's just like which is basically red which is fine which is normal car color it's the bright orange run-of-the-mill commuter bugatti uh i tried to wedge myself into trinity trinity's inevitable trader season i tried to ride your coattails right on right all the way to the to scotland you you would have been immediately my target out of there i told you strategy wow shouldn't you not say that yes interest of thought do i anyone have any regrets my regret is my rant because i didn't you know i was just i was just tap dancing you know you did great no it's fine i did great i just couldn't have to use the full time it's more like a time it's a speed limit i've known that yeah but i was sort of enjoying you i was enjoying you flailing you sort of you decided that you had to go the full length of i decided that and i decided to flail you know it was a lot and i just take it back and i wish you know i think everyone's reviews are great um i i guess i regret saying i hate kids no no because i should have said i really fucking hate kids and that's a beautiful place to leave it thank you so much to lauren lapkus brian and trinity the chuck there are 62 days until the midterms we'll be back on friday with bruce campbell and paula poundstone have a great night love it or leave it is a crooked media production our show is produced by kendra james bill mcgrath kelsey gante and me john lovett our production team includes hallie keeper sarah lazarus raman borsellino peter miller david tolls claudia shang jay banks gavin purcell and matt degrote and our staff is proudly unionized with the writers guild of america east