Decisions > Daydreams

Let me ask you something. When was the last time you made a decision that actually changed the direction of your life? And not thought about it, not plan for it, not saved for it one day, but decided, like fully decided and then did it. Because lately one phrase, one thing keeps coming back to me and it's the title of this podcast, "Decisions of Dare Dreams". And the more I sit with it, the more I realize how much of life can be lived in the space before the decision. Without ever really changing. And this episode isn't about being more productive or working harder and it's definitely not about just blowing your life up. It's about noticing where you're living and you're going through the day to day and where your life is being actually shaped. And I've realized something about myself recently that explains a lot of my patterns. I love that phase of before, the before phase of things. Like when you're buying a new notebook and you've not yet started writing in your notebook, but that feeling of like a fresh notebook or a fresh journal or opening a brand new spreadsheet or a template, like a notion template. That moment where it feels like, "Oh, this is the beginning and I feel good. I'm about to start my to-do list." The moment where it feels like this is the beginning. It feels hopeful, it feels organized, it feels like I'm about to do something important. It feels like I'm about to change something. Something in my life is going to change. And it's just how I've moved through life. Now, I've figured out that those moments of buying a notebook, buying a journal, whatever I just said, those things have never changed the direction of which my life has gone in. It's never changed my career, it's never changed my lifestyle, it's never changed my income, it's never changed. What I do with my friends or the joy I have in life, those things are changed by the decisions and the actions that I've made. A really good example of this is travel. I'm going to Philadelphia next week and honestly, the planning is half the joy for me. Like, writing the packing lists, planning outfits, imagining the days, picturing how it's going to be when I get there. And that's me fully thinking in this daydream. And I want to be clear here, like, daydream isn't bad, it's creative, it's human, it's anticipation, it's always good to have things to look forward to. But that's not where change happens, that's not where things actually happen. There's always this, like, crossover point. When you stop imagining, oh, I'm going to go on holiday to this place and you're looking at your Pinterest board and you're getting emails through from travel companies. That is nice, it's a nice feeling. But the moment that you decide, like, the moment you book the flight, that's when things change. The moment you book the hotel, you confirm the dates, you put it in your calendar, you spend the money. That's the moment where the future, your future life, your future timeline, stops being hypothetical, stops being like something could happen. And it starts being real. And until that decision is made, nothing has actually changed. No matter how detailed the plan is, or no matter how detailed your imagination is, or the thing that you're thinking in your mind, you can think about something for years and still be standing in the exact same place. And the trick about this is that when you're thinking about these things, it actually feels good. It feels like, oh, I'm making progress. And it will be good to do it someday, but it won't actually ever happen until that decision on the action is made. I shared a piece of content yesterday that said, I'm in the business of making my younger self proud. And that for me really fuels a lot of my decisions thinking about that younger version of myself. And it really stayed with me because when I'm daydreamin, I feel enclosed to that version of me. You know, it would be so good if I was in that job. It would be so amazing if I lived in that place. It would be, it would feel so right if I finally did X, Y, and Z. And if you're not in like, yeah, you know, that's me. I constantly think about things that would be nice to do, that would be nice to feel. The possibility alone feels really exciting, but there is this uncomfortable truth that your younger self isn't proud of what you thought about, what you thought about doing. They're proud of what you decided to do, especially when it fell uncomfortable. And that daydreamin, that thinking, it feels safe. But nothing is at risk when you're thinking nothing can go wrong when it's hypothetical. No one can judge you. You can't take any risks when it's not actually happening yet. If something hasn't happened, no one can say anything to you. No one can say that's the right thing. That's the rumping what you do in who is she. But decisions decisions interrupt your normal pattern. And when you've been making the same decisions every single day, the same job, the same routines, the same environment, a new decision doesn't feel like sight into your nervous system. It feels unsafe. It feels, even if it's just a small decision. And the older you get, I feel like, or at least I feel like this is true for myself, it's harder to make more decisions the older you get because you get more, more, more comfortable, more comfortable in what you're doing in your life. In the holiday that you go in every year, in the job that you have, it feels safe. I even sweet people who are like, I am a grandma. I'm 32 and I'm living like a grandma because I'm staying in all the time. I'm not meaning we need to go out more, but all of these things that you want to happen or you've wanted to happen. And you're like, yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna go on that cruise. I'm gonna go to my bed and I'm gonna do all those things. But we're not ever doing it. It's difficult and it's hard to actually book and it's hard to actually go. And your brain is, and they're nice things to think about, but your brain, if you're doing anything new, reads it as this is familiar. This could go wrong. If you dare put a piece of content online in your 30s, who's gonna offer you? That is what we're thinking in our brain. So instead, we just stay in the thought of that would be possible because it feels controlled. Thought feels content, thought feels safe. It's nice to envision things because you're the only one that's seeing it. You're the only one that's seeing that possibility. This is not just like a personal observation of myself. There is evidence behind it. Research shows that high performers, high performers and successful people tend to make decisions faster. And when I learn this, I thought, you know what? That is true. And it's not because they're reckless, but because they don't confuse thinking with progress. I have a business review, has shared research showing that leaders who make decisions quickly. And just adjust as they go, consistently outperform those who do their decisions in such certain, certain say. So if you think about their decisions might not be the right decision, but if they fail, they pick themselves back up and make a new decision quickly. And therefore, each of those decisions is changing their life and changing their businesses as life. It's not perfect decisions. It's just timely ones. The McKinsey and company found organizations and leaders who decide faster as significantly more likely to outperform financially, even when some decisions turn out to be wrong. And why is that? Because momentum matters more than perfection. And I'm saying this, not just for people, you know, who have an online business or who in this business world, it applies to real life. People who move forward tend to decide when they're fully ready, they tend to trust themselves and just cause correct. If something's wrong, bad decision is fine. We keep going. They value people who move forward tend to value movements, sorry, over certain say, like it's far better to keep moving rather than just stay thinking about the decision. People who stay stuck or stay in the same timeline and stay doing the same thing tend to over research over plan, wait for the confidence to arrive, wait for the motivation to hit and confidence almost never arrives before action. It usually shows up after you've made some pro you after you've done a little bit after you've taken some action. If you listen to my last podcast episode about just delaying everything delaying post and delaying put myself out there just keeping delaying because I was all over thinking about it. I was waiting for the right moment, waiting for my idea to be fine, waiting for everything that I needed to look at myself and think nothing is going to change. If I don't change the decisions I'm making, I was currently making the decision of I'm not posting I'm thinking about it, but I'm not actually doing it. Therefore, nothing changed, nothing changed. Your brain is wired to prefer familiarity. So when you make the same decisions every day, your nervous system reads that as safe. Even if you're unhappy, that's wild, even if you're unhappy, if you're doing the same thing, your nervous system is fine. It's settled and it's calm. So when you consider a new thing, your brain flags it as risky, as unfamiliar. So that's why daydreaming feels good and deciding feels dangerous. But the part that doesn't get talked about enough is your brain overestimates the danger of action and underestimates the cost of staying the same. Let me say that again, your brain overestimates the danger of action and underestimates the cost of staying the same. To make this real for you, your thinking I might apply for a new job. The doing part of that is actually submit in the application. Thinking I should post something, doing is actually pressing publish. If you're thinking I'd love to offer something one day. I'd love to create something online one day. Doing is charging for it. Thinking keeps you comfortable and doing makes you visible. So when you're doing the things you're submitting the application for a new job. your pressing publish, your charging for a call or something that you've created, those things to your brain seem like danger. This is not normal, this is not what we do. This is, oh, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Your brain is keeping you in the same position. When you are thinking, I might apply for a new job, I should post something, I'd love to offer something one day. When you're thinking that, your brain is like, yeah, okay, yeah, that's good. That's fine, yeah, we can stay in this realm of thinking, but we are never gonna cross you over into doing something that makes you visible 'cause visibility feels risky, even when nothing dramatic actually happens. And most of the time, nothing bad happens at all. You feel exposed to me for a moment, but then you realize you're still okay. If you're listening to this and you are in that, that like 30s and life is fine. You know, you're capable, you're functioning, you've got a good job, you've got a family, a house, you've got kids, you've not got kids yet. You're like comfortable. And the thought of doing something different just feels like absolutely not, you know, but underneath that comfort, you've still got this quiet up. A wish that, you know, if things felt more aligned or if life felt a little bit more like you and you weren't always thinking maybe one day and you were making your younger self proud, that's who this episode is for. You don't need to burn down your whole entire life. You don't need to make reckless decisions, but if you want your life to be different, you have to decide differently at some point. Some decisions have to change for the next six, 12, 18 months to be different. The daydreamin', it's not bad thing. It's fun, it's whimsical, it's magical, I love daydreamin'. But decisions are the part that actually change the direction of your life. And most of the time, nothing got to stop. It happens when you decide you don't ruin your life, you don't ruin everything, you don't become a completely different person overnight. You just stop standing still and you stop going through the motions of life is just the same. So question, what do you want? Ask yourself, what do I want? What decision am I avoiding? Because it would make this real. It would make this feel like this is a real thing that's happening in my life. Because potential feels so good, but your decisions create proof. I'll leave you with this. There's a difference between imagining a life and moving toward one. Thanks for listening and I'll see you in the next episode. Bye.