Dealing With Our Demons feat. Comedian & Bravolebrity Hannah Berner

Nothing against his axis. All beautiful queens, but um, but I wish you could see our faces guys That was the fakeest shit I ever heard Hi guys welcome back to another episode of Girl Gatty. We're back to Raina's birthday episode We got a great episode today. Yeah Hannah Berner is with us today reality TV superstar That's not why she's on the show. She we don't even care that we don't do reality show people We love her because of her podcast and her take on like a mental health and all these other things and she's our friend now And she's so great, but she is on summer house or she was on this last season of summer house What bravo, which is on bravo. I feel like I need to give a Disclaimer if that's the right word. I don't know that when we had did our interview with her I had not ever watched summer house, which was a little awkward. I'm like, hey, I don't watch your show and I'm actually can you leave please we can talk about that I have since watched the entire season Start to finish because I was like now I'm intrigued. I knew I would like it You know like I like those shows. I love Southern charm and so then now I know her so I was even more interested in watching it and I watched all of it But what's funny for me is that like I watched this and couldn't talk to you about it And now you're like living this in real time and I'm like yeah, I know Thought about this analyzing I'm so annoyed about it like no, I'm just glad that you know about the show now because I'm like such a fan of the show I mean like you said it's not why we invited her on our show. Yeah, I couldn't care less to somebody She's the only person we would have from the show on our podcast I want to be real clear also that show ends with the I mean spoiler alert But I'm not gonna tell you who but the shit this the finale this season finale season three ends with a proposal and You know I cried everything I cried at every single I've cried at every single proposal on the bachelor bachelor Even if I don't like the people I didn't cry this that's how little You like that guy yeah But the show is great and if you want to just watch it. He has only on season three and you can just start I just only watch season three. You don't have to watch other seasons. It's not that deep. Yeah, it's not yeah Just I would recommend just watching season three. Okay. Now let's our summer house plug. Yeah So we announced on social media last week But we did add a second date in Minneapolis because the first night on Friday, August 2nd sold out in 24 hours So you guys can come on Saturday night now August 3rd those tickets are going pretty fast, but there's still some tickets available So obviously stupid live shows.com and yes, I cannot wait to be there. I I think it's gonna be the most like crowd up. I can't wait for Minneapolis so excited also Stupid live shows in Phoenix Salt Lake City and Denver on July 15th the second show that we added Phoenix is the 14th Salt Lake City is the 18th And a few tickets left in Toronto and Montréal as well and then Atlantic City We need to talk about it. Yeah, so it looks like we yeah, Atlantic City is gonna be so lit I just can't recommend this enough like if you were thinking of doing like a girl strip or something like this is gonna be it We are blowing this shit out. We may never do a casino again. I don't fucking know So like me there is a big casino gal's so this is huge. We're so excited I just booked some entertainment and I don't want to give I don't want to give it away But I'm gonna do a little teaser for you. Yeah, ready That's it that's it. That's it. I am warning that song So take your guesses Got a little what's happening. Yeah That's it. So you know, we really want to push the show and Hope that you guys come and I mean come from Billy come from New York come from New Jersey wherever you are flying Whatever this is gonna be a show So I'm just speechless. I think we're chai I'm so excited. So stupid. This is just sexy sexy live show. Yeah come see me and a bandage dress bandage bandad And a bandage dress it's bandage. It's not band-aid dress band-aid dress band-aid is a brand name You can't be on your sane band-aid is copyrighted. All right. Well, I'm making a dress out of band-aids band-aid Yeah, like lady Gaga's like me dress. You're wearing a band-aid dress. That's stupid. It's a like air veil a jet air veil a jet Harvey Ludger All right, so today is my birthday. Yeah, be birthday. Thank you Not today that you were recording but today the day that this is out. So on June 17th I'm a Gemini Lot of my favorite people are Gemini's it's a good season man I'm I am not like a big birthday person. I've never been one of those girls that like has a birthday week birthday month My mother has a whole birthday month. Yeah, maybe I'm just I'm pretty self-involved, which is crazy Like I don't care that much. I'm you're like every day is my birthday. Yeah, like I feel like I get enough attention day today Like last year for my birthday. I'll tell you what I did I planned a huge birthday party. Oh my god. I didn't know you like you didn't know about this I planned a big birthday party with my friend Jeremy and then it was cold that day and I just canceled my birthday We talked about this in the podcast. Yeah, I talked about you canceling your birthday. Yeah, it was like 50 degrees And I was like I'm just not doing this and everybody was like so What else are we doing? I'm staying home. What do you mean? It's cold out? Jeremy was so mad at me and then on my actual birthday Jeremy and I were in Denver This is just a brand of mine for you guys to don't know But we were in Denver flying back from a wine a food wine festival and I got black bell drunk in the Delta Sky lounge with him Got on a plane passed out lost my wallet and that was a birthday. Yeah, I have a birthday to you lost all your shit And I got it back there. Tell you that yeah, lost me wallet on a like I never tell you that I talked to you every minute But yeah, this year. I'm having a birthday party. We'll say maybe I'll cancel it. Well, it was yesterday Technically So yeah, yeah, you guys can I'm lever view on iTunes for us for my birthday That's that's my wish for me Please go on iTunes and leave a review about how great the podcast is yeah Definitely and this just starts my birthday's in three weeks a month whatever So I mean we're our birthdays in the same month. So leave those reviews guys. That's all we want I don't need anything else to my birthday. I got everything I need Okay, so yeah, it's your birthday June 17th June also pride month We haven't really talked about it. Just wanted to go ahead and voice our support for the LGBTQ community I think it's pretty obvious we support the LGBTQ community, but we've just been talking a lot about pride Taylor Swift released that new song like which was awesome amazing and I mean, you know, I just Celebrities supporting causes. It's great But it's you know more important for just every day regular people to support these causes But I think so love that she did that and like through some major shade to Homophobic people don't I get me started homophobic people that's still a thing your homophobic You're in there. I mean it's fuck off. Yeah, so I mean just wanted to get it out there that Obviously happy pride Support your charities and nonprofits that you like, you know stay woke It's happy and it's pride and it's all exciting and stuff But there's still plenty of like hate crimes and bad stuff happening. So just like support your fellow People in your community that are LGBTQ. I'm just like going off. I don't know what I'm doing I don't know I didn't plan to go PSA today, but you know, it's pride So I think it's nice to like, you know, wear rainbow t-shirt But I think that like you should also do things that are activist and come forward and help people donate and you know March for a cause and I think that like it's great to like paint the door of your restaurant rainbow colors But you know, I think it's more important to donate and do things down this community So no, I think it's important to talk about it and Obviously we're huge supporters of that community and you know as always when it's time to vote vote for lawmakers That also support the LGBTQ community and their right to get married and all of the other things Okay, so I don't really have much else going on. I don't either. I have a show tonight I don't know all right Yeah, I mean not every intro has to be 45 minutes. So you guys are welcome. We're gonna get into the episode Today as we mentioned we have one of our ultimate girl crushes in the house studio with us and Dewey She is the host of burning in health podcast. She is a cast member on the current season of summer house Which we are also obsessed with she's a video content creator and she's a hysterical meme account being burns So welcome to the studio Hannah burner. Thank you my love Yeah, we're so glad to have you I just posted in the story said you're my girl crushes to and I want to sex with your voices Yes, I got one's message that I want to fuck your voice is it sounds cuter when you know do not say if you are Yeah, it is a romantic loving feeling when you're listening to a podcast. It's not aggressive Right and men are just Yeah, it's okay. We're before we get started I have to say that you were literally on the way over here and I'm getting tagged in your meme sent your meme There are probably a hundred dams right now because you posted a meme about a cool song and I don't know if you know our track record with Quasance but basically someone around iTunes review one time that was like a hate the way that actually says cool song and So we've turned it into a thing people bring them to me at shows. It's a whole thing every single day all day I get people dozens and dozens of being tagged and memes so your meme account or your it's your Instagram account But your memes are incredible. You just posted you can tell a lot about a person by the way they say cool song It's true and so I've been getting it a lot so now I feel like I want to know your take so on a first day I take a guy to a nice little bakery Prefer not starbucks. You want to go like a fancy place and you see how you say I want that And you see what he does and if that motherfucker says Quasant He has a stick up his ass But I say I say quesant so I don't hit it hard. I'm like Quasant. I go Quasance. Thank you because I'm an American. I'm not trying to be something. I'm not I'm an American I am an American USA But if you start going like crescent then we have an issue - no people say crescent You got to be in the middle lane and people then like long Island girls are like I'll have a croissant Yeah, I just I'm not trying to be French like I'm not out here asking for like how do you say the white wine? I can't so deal like oh yeah, you're not like grassy ass. Yeah, how do you say? The white wine that starts with an S and ends with a C and it's two words Savignon block. Yeah Okay Okay, let me think about what I focus truly Think don't ever think it I say Savignon blog. Okay. I mean, it's a teeny bit But I don't say nobody says that some people when I'm drunk I say that I'm like schools I'm like how was Savignon blog? But I have a girlfriend that just straight up says like can I be Savignon blog? Like no honey, but anyway, I I Mixed it up as soon as I go in and I'm like I don't feel like being judged today You know I say croissant, but my natural reaction is a light a light French. Yes, I'm just quick I think you're probably where you're brought up so today we're going to Pittsburgh called North for sales It never in my life occurred to me that it's for psi. Oh, yeah Never in my life North for sales whole life not like I went to Paris that I realized it's for psi Oh Americans know how to butcher everything don't wait. Yeah, we were on everything But anyway back to you. So you're from New York. I'm from Brooklyn New York Yeah, people get annoyed because it's like being it's like going to Harvard or like I say it a Brazilian time So I know people go to Harvard you know from Brooklyn cuz I'm like I'm Brooklyn over Brooklyn I had a Brooklyn necklace, but I've tried to calm down on it because now Brooklyn's kind of overdone Yeah, I'm afraid of the Queens I move to Queens. Yeah, yeah It's low-key You love meatballs too, right? Of course. I love a meatball. I love meatballs Italian oh, yeah, I just I'm Italian. I'm Sicilian actually so I have a little bit of anger a little bit of spice, but then I'm half like Russian Polish Austrian Jew, so I'm like I don't tan well Not to like shit on other reality shows, but Catherine on Southern charm had a hard time saying Sicilian last night on the episode Oh my god, I didn't watch it. I haven't watched it yet. She just she knew the words Sicilian, but couldn't just she couldn't get Thanks to Kaleian. He's like Succeed see see see I don't know if he calls me like baby Also Southern charm great show now. It's gonna summer house, but great show Um, we want to talk about that. Do you want to take it? Do you want to ask for summer house stuff? I don't know if you had anything. Yeah, no actually We haven't had like a lot of reality TV people on the show for a reason one person on a terrible Which one shut up drunk. Yeah, we had shop on I was I didn't like Shep I love shop surprisingly very intelligent he reminds you by using words that I've never heard of before He's like liberal. It's crazy, but he shows up everywhere with his hair like he looks so hungover anytime of the day He shut up drunk so he wasn't hungover yet He also promoted our show like almost more than anybody else has did an Instagram post fries He was great. Oh, yeah, I mean he's he's my type. He's tall. He has a big nose like I like I'm into him My your type. Yeah, you are I feel like my nose is bigger than his I've Feel like me and Reena like we had it off naturally, but like Ashley you have to like win her approval I like I want I like really want her to like me. Yeah, it's like a slow it's a slow game It's because it's just a big answer is a hard shot. I have a hard shell. I met her a day I met her I was like I'm gonna make this fish like me. Yeah, like I make her like I don't give a fuck who she is I want her to like me. I don't care if she's a terrible person. I mean her like me, but that's what I'm in therapy for so yes People with me are like she could like me last She could stop trying You're like a dog and she's like a cat nothing against Dewey Okay, it does not like me let's get you so much Let's start with I just want to hear about your podcast Yes, what is it about and then we're gonna talk about the dog and summer house So if I was gonna go into reality TV show I realized I was gonna get a platform and I want to show people some real shit because people think because you're on TV that you're like Asperational in some way when you're not I'm so the same person. I don't want to pretend I'm not so I want to use it to show like some realness and I started burning in hell because I'd met a lot of like let's say Theme is people or reality people and I want to show that Everyone has demons everyone has anxieties and fears and I want to be the person to make them talk about it So I have a comedy meant to health podcast and it's a lot of fun And I get people to open up on their about their hell. I'd love you both to come on of course but I just try to tear them apart and It's been really I've learned a lot about how everyone's human and it doesn't matter how much money you have How many Instagram followers you have they still could think they're ugly or hate their themselves for whatever reason Go to therapy and you've been a therapy. Oh hell yeah, I'm gonna therapy. I mean actually only I go on and off Because it's like it's like a mind trainer. Yeah, if you always have a trainer you feel like you're kind of I don't know Always supported so sometimes you want to get alone and see what you want Spread my little weight you just answer to the therapy. Yeah, and also I talk so much. I like don't sometimes I'm like I don't want to hear this I'll talk anymore Yeah, it's another person you have to talk to you. Yeah, did you start the podcast before so I I got cast for the show and then I had the idea So you'll see the season on summer house when I like starts thinking about it But it really like it's my passion project. I can control summer house I can control how they make me look or whatever But I'm like if people like me from the show and want more for me then I can trick them into making them laugh and learn about mental health and stuff Yeah, because that's if I could have a platform. I kind of want to find a way to Feel good about myself by helping others. So it's purely a selfish thing for me. Yeah Yeah, I just think it's so brilliant like this isn't what we're talking about today But that you were like I'm about to be on TV. I need to something else like that's what we loved about Caleb Bristol How she got off the bachelor and she could have just started like sling and fit tea and sugar bear hair and she was like I'm gonna do this other thing just snorting fit tea every right also your memes are incredible like Even like the just I had to say dumb ones But like what did she post the other day if you can't love me at my farts? You don't deserve me in my pheromones I'm like, what the fuck how does this bitch is my work? We post everyone and I love I love you guys We were like we last week on your hand to pump the break my whole I have like 80 photos in my phone 70 or screenshots of your account Somebody's me the counselor all you like insta single is all you people started getting mad and people say like hate on me But you guys you got to remember when your memes of fire you're gonna get hate Remember that that means your memes are good when people say things girls are funny Oh, but also with great power comes great responsibility. I am followed I would have anyone's like oh meme this like it really excited because like I work for batches I would make like a hundred memes a week for them Yeah, and then that's why like I do it on my own, but I have my own voice. It's different than them But yeah on this like it's called Bob Mennery. It's like a very sports It has like a couple million followers and they posted a guy shaking his head really fast And he's like me make dudes and all these guys are commenting and I'm like when his height starts with a five I was getting death threats But if I were to do it on like a girl's account girl like yeah, oh my god I just think objectifying men is healthy when you're not in the head space to be vulnerable Yeah, what a shocker that men are insecure Crazy also they say what are the men's biggest fears are getting rejected woman's biggest fears are getting murdered So let that sit on you right Bob mennery the head guy of it message me Commented on it. It was like no whatever Fucking say hi to you anyway when that motherfucker had slid into my DMs before and I don't think he knew so I never spot I'm on blast. Oh my god. I'm like I'm gonna go on spot cast and who do I want to put on blast But I didn't respond to it ended up deleting it because I couldn't take the hate anymore But like yeah, no your audience was the moral of that story for sure I don't know the worst only problems we've ever had shows men. Yeah Okay, so you went in summer house. Yeah, so when I was like first talking about the show You said something to me and I thought it was really interesting so I asked you what it was like going on the show and seeing yourself on television for the first time So I thought it was interesting. We were take was so what how do you feel about it? Yeah, so I think a couple years ago I wouldn't have had the confidence to go out and be okay with People seeing like any side to me like I was really fixated on like if I'm gonna be on a show I want people to know who I am and what I'm like I used to be the kind of person like I'd immediately meet someone and be like they need to know how I'm funny And how I'm cool and they need to understand me and then I realize yo Life you got to chill out. They'll find out they'll find out if it's meant to be and that's how it is with relationships It's how does with friendships and I had some bad relationships and I got I went into therapy and I really worked on like Sometimes it's nice to give other people space Sometimes you just step back and realize there's where he's where it is you are of how they're coming off and I realized that the thoughts in my head were not always real That it's mostly like criticism for when I was a kid from maybe my parents or coaches and sports I played and once I learned to like trust my intuition That's when I was like Yeah, the show could go terribly bad for me. I could embarrass my entire family on national television Or I could go out and like fight for something I believe in and like I want to go on and talk about anxiety And you guys fucked up show that I don't shave my legs all the time just being perfect and see how I've fucked and Change the world. No, I'm just kidding, but see how girls DM me differently and to the show We just use infinite we like I'm on the fucking show Yeah, we just crushed the finale Nobody loves summer house more than right I just right. Oh, let's just work it out. She's gonna let you have it. Just pretend you're on the show So we just said I had the most embarrassing moment you know this but with Carl from summer house I was an H&M. I don't know this person. I could feel how ready I am. Oh my god You are it's also my marital here in her defense We can't turn the air on it's too loud. I have never met this person in my life does not know who I am I'm it I'm at H&M and I stop he was there and I stop and I go hi And he looks to me and goes I'm sorry what and I'm like oh, I don't know you But he hasn't know who I am. This is so embarrassing. He's like with his mom No, I love Sharon. You're like hi Sharon. How are you? How are the kids? Okay, so Reyna tell us how the finale went out Okay, I'm it was good. I will say I have really never seen anybody get such a good at it on reality show like you There is nothing I mean it was your experience so like I mean I'm not you But I think that like there was not a lot of you don't look crazy or aggressive or emotional like you look pretty even Killed on that show. Thank you. Maybe because you are right. Yeah, well, I want to say something about bad edits I'm gonna tell the truth I think that when someone says I got a bad edit then they could edit you to look bad in one scene in any way They can make you look awkward. They can make you look mean. They can make you look weird But for them to make a storyline of a bad edit of you You have to do that fucked up thing more than once They're not gonna go other way to make you look awkward in every scene if you're not actually being awkward So the point is just like go on and be yourself Don't try too hard and like I also would just go in and like try to make the videographers laugh like it's It day in and out you don't know there's like tons of crew also that you become friends with but like the camera guys Who come in the room and I'd be like oh my god, they're so obsessed with me and like they're like I was just trying to have fun with it. Yeah, cuz there was a lot of anxiety and like saying one thing That's like racist and then just like losing your entire reputation. Yeah, I'm not that I would go around saying racist things But like you're on national television is scary never know. Yeah, and I'm like shit like you're right Nobody's given a bad Ed a good or bad at it. You're right. You're totally like there You but things can be changed, but like you're not fucking innocent when you have a bad edit for me Maybe you got a better edit or a worse edit than someone else who was also shitty, but the point is you both should do those things Yeah, I Like what you're saying about like going to therapy and learning about your demons and things like that because You went through like a pretty serious relationship that was like tough for you emotionally And I think that's why you started going to therapy, right? Well, I was a tennis player and I had dealt with a lot of Performing to anxiety on the court, but it's all I knew like whenever it was match time I would just like my heart would beat really fast I would never get out of my head and I'd never play well and I was a High performing player. I played number one for University of Wisconsin. I played a little professionally and just but just cuz you're good at something Doesn't mean it's what you're meant to do. Yeah, which is crazy to hear cuz your whole life is about like Being successful. So if you're successful at something you think it's what your purpose is. Yeah, but like I 22 I was like fuck this it doesn't make me happy But I had to start in the ground floor like I thought I was gonna be a tennis player. Right? Oh my gosh, right? So my identity was kind of crushed and I'm not gonna lie. I think that I start dating guys because I Want to feel special again like tennis was my identity that made me feel special So I thought that I needed a guy to like for my ego to show like see I'm still important this cool guy is you know dating me So I've always been like a monogamous Data and I've been around and then like a recent relationship. I kind of Was like this guy's the one and then blindly just like wanted to make it work and start to lose who I wasn't it And that's when I stopped and was like I need to see a therapist and realize why this pattern's happening and how I Find my own voice again because life is just like doing what you want to do It's just sometimes hard to know what you want right well, and I mean I feel like that's probably where a lot of people just Get the anxiety and depression of like what is what am I what's my purpose like what am I doing? Exiting is I think the emotion of you not being aligned with your purpose. Yeah, or like aligned with your true identity It's like sometimes your body will tell you when something's wrong Like you're really like with the wrong person and suddenly you're like losing your appetite or like your heart beats fast You keep getting my grains or like you're bloated all the time. Maybe it's your body telling you to stop eating cheese first of all But second of all, there is a problem. There is a problem Take your lactate, but also this might be not be right for you And it's hard because we all have stories in our head of what love and success is But sometimes it's not what you thought when you were a kid that nine-year-old Hannah I felt like I was disappointing because I wasn't gonna be a tennis player I wasn't gonna do whatever, but I realized my new talent doesn't understand life like I do now. Yeah We said that on the episode with We had my friend Kellyanne. She's a medium terror reader life coach type of person and that it's like the number one thing It's like listen to your body, and I think people get they're like, oh, I have butterflies. I'm like, that's probably not good It's anxiety like yours doesn't be with somebody that makes people comfortable and say I like to say feel like home Feel like home exactly and so I just love that message was that we went to therapy because you were like I feel depressed I feel anxious. Oh, yeah, I am I get a lot of messages from girls. I was dating a guy and He was everything on paper that I thought I wanted like he and I couldn't eat for three weeks Oh my god, and I am a like insane eater. I'm gonna tell you like eating is my life All I do while I'm eating lunch is think what I'm eating for dinner. Yeah, so what was he like on paper? What was the good one paper? He you know, he was super successful and driven with his career. He was very smart He was very handsome. He was tall, which is the most important thing He had money if that's something you care about and My friends thought it was amazing. I was dating him because he had some like cloud in the world And then I took me a couple ones to realize like wait. I don't think he might be perfect on paper But I don't think we're perfect for each other Which Disney doesn't teach you that shit? Disney teaches like who she doesn't even has even met the prince And she's like how do I marry the prince? That's literally how we live our life. Where's my prince? No You're gonna know because your heart tells you and I started to realize like I don't know everything about love But I do believe in this whole like gardener flower thing Mm-hmm And I think he was a flower and he needed a gardener someone to like Hold him down and like be strong for him and support him emotionally and all of his stuff. We're like I was a fucking flower too So so I was trying to be his gardener and I didn't feel like I was getting any of the attention that I wanted Yeah, and like I just started to wilt and like you know, I was a I was a lame ass ugly flower and I didn't like myself I'm very into metaphors by the way I want to like dive deep into this one now. I feel like this is a very Quodible episode already and I mean love is caring But like everyone has a place of what they are and I wanted him to garden for me too Yeah, and I don't think he was emotionally ready for that and I'm using some Metaphors but it's because I'm trying to make it applicable to everyone like you want to be with someone that you don't want to feel like you have to be smarter or Cooler or or funnier you want to feel like you just being you is Like they look at you like the only person in the room and what fucked me up was that I once I started realizing the steep down I thought I was self-taudging myself like I do in tennis Uh-huh, so I was like wow you met the perfect guy and now you're getting bad anxiety and you're putting it back in yourself So I started getting like OCD thoughts of like you're not yourself Your Roonians relationship you're all fucked up like what's wrong with you? And I just went to like the darkest place and I know it sounds insane and part of anxiety is like say it out loud And if your friend thinks you're insane sometimes it makes you calm down But when it's just your voice in your head you're like oh, I'm fucking crazy and I'm gonna ruin this guy And I'm ruining myself and I lost myself and who am I and this is my life and next thing. No, you can't eat So we just went to a very dark place. Yeah, did you like express these things to him and like how I did like a Problem was is that I'm like kind of I was the kind of person in relationship where he would do little things I mean for example in the very beginning we would hang out every Sunday And then one day he was like I'm free on Saturday and I was like hell yeah, I'll hang out and then like an hour later He called me and he's like hey So like we're reading out Sunday and we're saying we should hang out Saturday and Sunday and I was like dude like I just want to see you And I immediately felt like he had this like wall up with me and I immediately felt like I had to earn his love Just like not to back it up to tennis, but I always felt like I had to earn You know the love of people by winning because as a kid when you win people to give you positive attention When you lose you were felt like a shit hole. Yeah, so I never used that word before that was weird. I don't know why you said It sounded okay. Thank you. It came out okay. You guys are not weird about it But I mean I process it was weird It was weird. I think you mentioned back But I don't like dirt bag and an asshole and I just got all mixed up my ship back. It was a negative connotation. No girl girl So when I found myself just being like you have to be better Which is so normal for a person to be like you finally met your prince now you have to become the princess for him Yeah, everything I was doing was never good enough like he still didn't want to really see me all the time So I didn't and I also didn't feel like once I'd called him and he was just like yeah What's up like I was bothering him? Oh, no so these little things are things that he probably doesn't even know But they hurt myself a steam to the point that like I was walking eggshells around him But I thought it's because I just wasn't good enough and then Everything he do I just like he always talked about his ex and things that they would do why that's well He would he would complain like I hate how they do this I you know and he's we've we have we had such an amazing good breakup because since then he's be like I know that was a mistake He he said it was like walking with dirt through Your house that was clean like just bringing dirt from past relationship His like exes were like the dirt nothing against his axis all beautiful queens, but I wish you could see our faces guys That was the fake us should I ever I also don't know why I called them queens that was weird. I know that was weird. They're the dirt I want to connect something that you said before to this and you said that sometimes like when you meet people You're so concerned with how you're coming off You forget that they're also concerned with that like you were so worried about how you were coming off Like he also has mental health problems and issues, right? Like that's a good point when we broke up I Because he the whole time was like you're my person. You're my soul mate and in my head I was like, but it doesn't feel right but I didn't say anything Yeah, and when he was talking about his exes of all the things that did wrong I was like taking notes in my head like okay, so don't get mad at him when he's when he does this and don't bother him When he does that so next thing you know, I'm like constructing this perfect human base on him But I think subconsciously he was kind of doing that a little with me So we were just missing each other. Yeah, we were told people just missing the intimacy But then fucking social media and and people in your life are like oh my god you guys are adorable Oh my god, we love you too and it confuses you It really confuses you and you don't know how you actually feel You mean you thought that he was saying to you all these things to stop you from being like that Like you think he was manufacturing you I think he knows that he what he wanted to like be in love with me And he knows that he wanted me to be his partner But like I didn't feel like it was real and that's why I was so confused and thought that I was self sabotaging it I'm like we're we're supposed we're perfect. He knows we're perfect, but I don't feel right So if you when you hold it in for all that time You and you change you are that's where anxiety comes so one day I literally called him and was like Yeah, I can't do this. I'm done. I can't do this I haven't eaten in three weeks and he's like what the fuck are you talking about like I was blindsided But what I wish I did is this is what I'd say first date be you like I like cats and horoscopes a lot of the time That's like pepper spray to men But for men who is cool with that and he's being me then we're past that we're moving on He's not allergic to cats. Let's go don't wait seven months and then be like by the way like this is my weird side And then realize you wasted your time. I'm 27. I can't fake that shit anymore And I'm not fake anything for the rest of my life. Yeah, did you feel like you had faked it up top with him? I think that I was Trying to be something that I wasn't a gardener. Yeah, and girl I do not guard and I'm from New York City I don't even know how to plant something actually like that too sort Ashley sort of like and you can explain your But I think that you understand what you are and what you want a relationship Yeah, but it takes time like and it's what happened to me was cool. It was okay. We're good Yeah, it was part of me now knowing what I want and what I need and being probably finding a better person for me because I didn't just Settle and I know myself better now. I Know who you're you dated and I know he has some trauma like childhood trauma And this was my situation with my ex too of just like These people are just they're wired a little bit differently and it's sometimes hard to grasp when you're with somebody that you are like This is the person nobody's ever made me laugh like this. Yeah, nobody I mean our banter was banter is like there No one will ever have that again forever. No, like in the history of the world. Yes He was so perfect for the time for me and he taught me so much But because of his trauma he also was low-shamed of it and didn't know how to verbalize his needs and he's also a cancer So like he would clam up and I would just feel like I can't help him But there's I loved what you said of like this was this was in my head too I was like oh this is the guy whatever we need to do to make this work Oh, I chose the guy's second date. Yeah, I was like I'm gonna make a hand a little bit differently I was myself straight out of the gate We were great until we weren't like when you're in that still new phase You're kind of your best self and then the closer sometimes we get to people then the real shit starts to come out Like because then you feel like this person's close to you have something to lose like it's all like a fucked up People that are close to you can hurt you mouth in the beginning your pheromones are pop Yeah, it's all you feel high like a drug and then six months later you're like who are you? Yeah, what is your name? And why are you in my house? And I just say I mean brain and I've talked about this like With this person that had kind of a lot of trauma and a lot of things like Which is not his fault. We were just a mismatch like I had a lack of empathy that I've since like gotten way better I've learned a ton. I went to therapy that relationship taught me so much We just weren't ever gonna be a match like somebody that really is has a lot of insecurities and a lot of sensitivities and needs a lot of like the Gardening and the care is just not probably gonna match with me and I don't think that he necessarily needs somebody that has the same upbringing and all the same bag of shit But it's somebody that's just is more compassionate and empathetic and wants to be more of a nurture and a caretaker And I think he found this great match for him and you know your ex-may or may not find somebody for him He might be like a little more fucked up But I'm just saying like it's sometimes it's not a match You can be like we are perfect We walk in a room in the room lights up and nobody makes me laugh like this and the sex is great And oh my god, and this is my soul mate How could I ever beat this and it could still be the wrong person? Yeah, and I think it's like a hard pill to swallow Honestly, I feel like it's a person back to the beginning that makes you feel like you're at home Yeah, because sometimes the guys that you're like so nervous attacks or you get like so excited to text them like if I like to say if You have to think too long about texting the back they're not the one. I don't care when in the relationship I think you could use that as a measurement. I think so too like that any solid relationship I've ever been in I'm sure like Reyna can adjust to this too. There were no games. It was like constant communication like I felt so comfortable I felt like this never got a beautiful like I never I thought this if you should never feel like you need to look a certain way or act a certain way around Your person like they should think you were like the most beautiful special person or your relationship is not gonna work I tell you right now I want to going back to my tweets because I like to use them As examples I said if you feel like you have to put makeup on when you FaceTime him He's not the one says it's it's so it's so well listen pump the brakes I put makeup on when I face how my dad or Ashley or anyone else I'm actually accepted Things that are wrong with me my dad says something to me once and it's how I live my life my dad said there's a lot of things wrong with you But I love you anyways, and that is how I live my life about me. Okay, there's a lot of things wrong Do you know it's funny in my last relationship at one point? Because I think we both put each other in pedestals which is so bad and one point I was like what in noise You about me and he goes you're perfect and I was like fuck who this is bad right? Because like I love being the annoying like I love being very playful my relationships like I dated a guy who had OCD So I would eat popcorn and like it would drop on the couch and you'd be like don't you dare eat that and I was just like slowly Go to my mouth and he's like don't do it. Don't do it. That's like so fun to be my annoying playful self Yeah, I don't want to feel like I have to have it together all the time It's a good place to be and like my acts certainly did that with me also like I Similar to Ashley a dated somebody that had some pretty bad childhood trauma just from family stuff and like I think he put me on this pedestal And like it is you will never live up to that pedestal. No, they are just disappointed in mad at the end of the Yeah, you know and then like you also feel like you can't fart ever like if you feel like like I don't I just don't want to fart in my boyfriend's face But like if I feel like if I fart it's gonna be the end of the world. I can't live the rest of my life like yeah Once I'm not out here farting but like if I do we better laugh about it and then have sex exactly You know that's Ashley's for play I can be better fuck Immediately if you can't handle me at my farts. You don't deserve me at my fucking Tweet that shit tweet that shit. Oh my god, but am I fired by hand? My favorite tweet to bring it all together is Dating what is the fucked up. Oh, yeah, um you have to find someone whose parents fucked them up in a compatible way to how your parents Fuck you up. So it doesn't have to be the same level of trauma, but it has to be compatible Yeah, that's also screenchild I agree, but I also think Usually people end up with something that's a similar family structure than that. It's just how it works But I also think like the same love story in your head of what a family is But I still think that there is and I've seen it happen where there's somebody that has all that trauma and there's somebody that Really doesn't but they're just a different type of person and I know that's kind of my ex I talk about I'm sure that the person he ended up with is like just really patient compassionate and nurturing Loving all these things and I don't know where family structure, but she's just built to handle it And I was not equipped to handle it and like we I just look back and like god we were just didn't know how to handle each other And it's like a shame and I think that's what you had with your ex and rena with hers when you're like Man, this is like actually like real like love and it's really special and rare, but like we're not a match But it's true like you're never gonna love someone quite like you loved them like I'm never gonna data guy and have the kind of relationship I did with him, but also like I want to know but it's gonna be different it's gonna be a different kind of love you'll so much stable loves But I think that like I think wisdom tells you that like your partner's gonna have problems You're gonna have problems yeah support them you should take care of them But like it has to be a way that you're equipped to take care of and I don't know that I even knew that I did take care of my partner Like he grew up with a mother that was bipolar She was an alcoholic he had a brother who also was born was like some real serious mental illness and like He just seemed fine But then he would go through these bouts of depression really couldn't get out of bed and like couldn't hold a job down And I just I didn't know what to do for him and like I wasn't fighting with him or mad at him It was just like I didn't know to say like maybe we should seek some outside help for you Maybe we should talk to somebody I like I didn't know how to accept that like I couldn't fix this And I'm not the one that should be medically on the hook for this and if I'm not doing it the wrong I just can't help you and that was really tough for me I mean ultimately like all of his anxieties and problems were what broke us up but like I'm not mad at him I understand it but like I certainly wasn't equipped to deal with it and that's okay And he hadn't dealt with it yet I think trauma everyone has trauma. We're not shitting on trauma right now. We're saying try to deal with your trauma Like I had trauma and he actually exacerbated the stuff that I thought I was over with That it got brought back up and that's a good thing because I might have repeated the same pattern of going after the wrong guy Ended up with someone who was like Okay for me. So it's like no matter how fucked up your parents fucked you up Work on ending the pattern of fucked upness because like I feel like life starts when you realize you have a bad pattern and you stop it And like yes my ex taught me that I had a bad pattern and my therapist helped me stop it And I still have to work on every day and reality TV was away from me to actually spread it to the masses Little more and be like yo we all get involved with narcissists sometimes We all get involved in people like make you feel like shit We all get involved and you know there's so many fucked up people out there I were just people that aren't meant for you right now. I mean a Older I've had experience and we do this podcast. We have learned a lot from that. I can sense kind of like the The trauma the instability the tady issues from a mile away and I'm not touching them. I'm done I did it. I did it. I'm not doing it. It's not gonna work for me unless somebody is really doing the work And I think like they're like stronger for it and so yes exactly like they're go if you go to therapy That's like the new like sexy like turn on but I just think if If women are listening to this and we have a lot of younger listeners and they sense that this guy has a lot of that And maybe he's taking it on them or he is depression and anxiety and trauma and all these things PTSD from his childhood all these things like If they aren't dealing with it if they don't think that they need to go to therapy They don't think they need to deal with it and they aren't really working on themselves. I guess it's gonna be a rough ride And it's not your job to fix that and it's not your job and that will be emotionally exhausting and that will turnish who you are sometimes Well, it's not you're not gonna win. I mean like everybody on this podcast was my story But like this guy ultimately left me we're engaged. He left me the day after our engagement party And like I fucking hate what he did to me. Oh, I got chills, but I don't hate him for it Do you know what I mean? Like I understand he wasn't a bad guy with a beautiful relationship the entire time we were together We really did I don't think he enjoyed what he did to me I think it was bread from some incredibly serious Psychological issues that he needed to deal with and just because he was telling me he was fine all the time Does not mean he was fine. Yeah, and I'm not a mind reader. So it's I'm not on the hook for that You know, I know it sounds like you touched a bullet totally. Yeah, also he's in therapy now. Yes He's been for years for years. I saw him randomly like whatever Another story, but you didn't know that until recently right that he's started going to therapy Yeah, I didn't know and you know when we're together I tried to be the therapist also we're young. I don't know. They needed for you. Yeah, they needed therapy But like that's true to I tried to make sure he was fine And there's nothing wrong with me for not being a mind reader He said I'm fine and I had to believe that he was fine. It's actually so hot when a guy or girl is self aware of their trauma Yeah, and consciously working on it like it's just so hot. Yeah, I'm turned on right now. It's real it is like I mean We're gonna get back together and therapy. Yeah, right now guys Spoiler alert right in her ex or engaged again But yeah, but I mean what do you where do you stand now like would you sign up for another guy that you felt had some of this Depression anxiety trauma so to get over my breakup. I like purely objectified men I like was like I'm just dating 16 up and I just like had no emotion and guys can sense that and I was just numb to it Because my body like it's like getting a car crash You're like I don't want to get in a car for like a year. Yeah, so I was just like having fun And then you realize that it's ultimately not that fun like life is about connections like the one way to get out of depression Is connecting with other people and finding similarities So I've actually been seeing a guy right now who I literally have done everything in my power to push his ass away Has because also I when we first started see he's on my friend group So that's a red flag like that could get complicated. Yeah, he's like works in my industry So that could potentially be a nice email to us. Yeah, he knows you guys We actually know every guy that Hannah's He's gonna be on the podcast next week I actually was into him. He's this is so embarrassing. He's under six feet Yeah First I want to say I do not short shame and like all I want is a guy that's my height But I I don't like short shame. I feel like tall I'm starting to realize I feel like tall guys have gotten so much in their life just because they're tall like you could be I have literally like a broken face and but you're tall and you will get things you know and Nikki glazer's bit about this No, so she does a bit and I also just saw her film are special of like you That's what you need to go for the short guys because they've had to like work for it and be funny And it's also how you go to hot guy in a discount So she says also you can get a hot face on like a five night. I'm gonna see her tonight And it's such a good bit. This guy is not a comedian. He's A columnist or grumpy. He's like grumpy and shy like grumpy shy men turn me on so much because they're the opposite of me And if I can make them laugh it like brightens my day and he thinks that I'm just like hysterical because I'm like out there. He doesn't he's not annoyed by me like I've a guy's called me loud And I'm like bitch if you think I'm loud Fuck you get ready. Sorry that I'm a girl who's taking up space go fuck yourself But I actually have a good move for the single girls out there because this guy I could tell you liked me and I liked him But there were a lot of reasons why it shouldn't happen. I Didn't hook up with a guy for like a month which is bad because then you have like a low relapse and I was like Making out drunk with guys at the bar being wild and he was there and I hugged him And I like kiss him on the cheek and then we started to like kiss and then he ended up Hooking up with a different girl that night. I was making out with some guy who tasted like cigarettes Learn how to jewel don't jewel cuz it's bad for you But like who the fuck still so cigarette it was a bad night But anyway, I was that's why he liked me because like you're not gonna kiss me if you hate me or think I'm you know a terrible person So it was his 30th birthday and he couldn't I couldn't go because his my mom's 50th 55th and She birthed me from River, China. So I had to go to hers. Yeah so I Texted him and I said let me take you out to dinner for you birthday. So like I'm all about it's okay to make the first move guys Or as like nervous as you but then see if they follow so then he responded Why do I feel like this is gonna turn to me me taking you out to dinner and I'm like oh You are cuz he knew he's gonna pay for it. Yeah And then so it's like I basically let him know like hey I'm cool with this if you're cool with this and then we went to dinner and then like I take it slow But like then I then I freaked out and was like every reality TV show going on and if we get renewed That means you have to get involved and so complicated and you're too pure to get involved in this and I don't want it I don't want this to happen. I'm too busy and my schedule's crazy and he goes are you done? And I'm like yeah and he's like okay, let's go home and I'm like you still want to hang out and he's like Yeah, I just don't really believe you ladies. This is the thing literally you can do anything if he wants to be with you He will do it. Yeah, absolutely the right dude. You should have been trying to make someone like you if you're trying to make someone like you It's never gonna work and you try your so-not yourself like me on a first date trying to be cool Hannah is A sad sad site. Well, we ask we get people to ask us all the time like what happens if you guys get to a serious Like dude talk about the guy on the show and things like that. I can't date a guy. They don't have a problem with that I got to be honest and I'm not gonna be able to convince somebody to not feel like that. Well, yeah Because he didn't sign up for this but he supports it like he watches every episode He doesn't talk shit about it. He thinks it's so great. He gets into it He even like with my podcast he'll text me and be like hey, I like how you did this. Have you ever tried that? But he calls me out of my shit - yes, this is perfect. I love someone who's like just the right amount of mean I also love what you said first of all step one skip his birthday ladies So but we we talked about this I feel like a little bit with Mark Manson and some other episodes We've had of like you don't want to straight up like ask a guy out But put this thing out there that you're into it and then let them take it from there Like see what I really strongly believe that like let this guy know you're interested It's hot and then see where he takes you don't to be like hey, I'm gonna pick you up and we're gonna go today like you don't Check in you don't need to like double check about the plan One time pick him up like you're not them you don't have to be the man here, but like let it smeg Yes Pay for jitter with your black guard like just but put it out there. I love that you did that. Yeah, I mean I'm I like approaching guys I think it's fun I have the strategy where you go and you talk to the like friend who's less attractive to you first To be comfortable and then like next you know your boys with a friend and then that guy if he wants to talk to you And he's wondering why isn't she talking to me? He will. You don't really put yourself out there out there I have a lot of games, but then today it's not about winning. It's not about the game Me and him actually didn't even text all the time like we would go week without texting But he'll just like I'd like after work be like hey, let's grab dinner because it's not about any of like how much did he text me? He texted me a paragraph to a text paragraph like but you feel comfortable when you know what anxiety around it Like that's the thing like you only get all amped up of like why isn't he texting when it's the wrong person and you don't feel comfortable But when you're young you have to go through those That's relationships. I know it's easy for us in our authorities to be like to say this one like if I mean when we were year-age But like it was all it sucked it was all anxiety and crazy games and shit like It sucks for somebody to tell you they don't like anything about you I don't know if I've ever talked about this in the show But I was I really like this guy for a long time and I was out with him one night And he said to me dating somebody as public of you is my worst nightmare And I was I with him at this bar and I left and I was crying on the street And I was just like I like this person so much and I don't know like what to do and is everybody gonna feel like this about me now Like forever that I'm just gonna like put them on blast in the show and this guy won't be with me I was really fucked up about it and the honest truth is like that guy's not my guy And I'm not gonna change my whole life Just to impress one person. There's a guy out there who's gonna see what you're doing and be so impressed by it and be like wow She's my soul mate. Yeah, I hate to use reality. V as an example But do you guys watch a van der Pump with Stasi? All right, it does oh my god You need to catch up on your reality. Yeah, I don't know how we're friends like how do you numb your brain at night? I don't know. I look at my own Instagram story So I always have time for that I'm just more of like the depths of the internet picks a cause every night or all day I like go deep on Twitter like Conspiracy the last night. I was like did you see like axe body spray like clapped back about the straight pot straight Pride parade and so I just like I lay in bed and like go real deep on the internet and then it's 4 a.m So I probably be better just like watching van der Pump and putting my phone away But here we are. I'm Stasi's boyfriend. So Stasi was dating this guy Patrick for years on the show He actually hated reality TV. He got her to quit the show at one point She came back he refused to be on camera and it was just like a tumultuous relationship Then she meets this guy bow who's just an angel? I sent you the photo down the other day And he's just like things everything she does is the coolest. He's brought out a side to her that's like sweet and cool But also weird like if you can be weird and silly that is isn't that what life's about? Who wants to have serious conversations all the time? I know. I don't So Stasi's kind of a cool example of like when you meet the right guy You don't feel like a bitch for choosing your career right and rena that guy too He's fucked up too. You know like I see some these guys like they put their shit on you Like I think it's god forbid. I'm successful and proud of what I do. And he's not even successful He's probably just jealous also guys get jealous got sometimes like a guy you think a guy can be very competitive with you Yes, and competitiveness in friendships and in men is insecurity and not helping it's insecurity And they put it on you and I just feel like that's a thing you learn as you get older is like oh this has nothing to do with me This is like your shit But when it was his shit. Yeah, I'm not also if you know me if you're good friends with me If you've ever even dated me you know, I don't put you on blast Yeah, the fact that person even thought that about me. What's his name? Easy thanks I would never put him on blind I would never put him on blast Jeremy Brown. I would never put you on blast I was gonna say he would never on an episode But I was like oh wait, I know Jeremy Brown too For Atlanta. They're probably like Jeremy from Atlanta. It's not that guy. It's not him one time I used a fake name and said like Yeah, whatever has a little dick like Tom Smith that lives it did it has and someone's like I know him It was a fake name. It's like a John Doe name I'm not a fan Also, can we say somebody that you did date that we has been on the show? Did Hannah has dated Dan Sotar? Oh, yeah And we think that's why Dewey threw her a little shade when she came in because as you know Dan is Dewey's dad and Dewey we there if he's a fish. Oh my god. No, he's not officially. Do he's that? Who's but he's been inside of ashes bedroom with Dewey? Okay, I thought you said inside of Ashley. I was like wow intervention He wrote a song for Dewey He wrote the thank you necks for dogs and I feel like that's why Dewey knew when you came in and he was like I'm team Dan and I'm so sorry Wow I'd known this I would have prepared some kind of melody Also, he probably smells my cat on me, but oh, yeah, that's too Dan loves big dogs. He probably was like Yeah, that's my Dan impression Just like the lowest voice ever. Do you do Dan? Do I do? Oh my god? He's the king of impressions Okay, this is my impression of Dan. This is gonna be mean for like you have is that mean but you have to kind of know him But he's like you am so tall just hold him a coffee. I had a long day. I'm tired. You want to smoke? Am I? I am I high? I smoke sometimes. Yeah, I love video games wrestling is awesome Wrestling so awesome. I love wrestling girls. I hate that love wrestling and they girls just hate me I ever grow hate me I'm funny though. Do we do we don't come over here do I love dogs you over do we get over do I can't do I actually haven't heard his voice in a while Because it's triggering for me, but that's what he says Honestly, I can't listen to podcasts because I know all his stories and I'm like oh you're telling that one now Okay, but I heard it her knees was there for it It's about it. He's inspired me to start a podcast I think too because he's so fucking good at podcasts and we would just sit around and I And banter yeah, and like to see how his mind his genius comedy mind worked I think it inspired me inspired me so much and I was like if you could do it like I feel like I can pursue my own thing yeah, and I was in video production and and I like tweeting Doey you don't have to make that sound when I talk You don't make it that obvious that you hate my voice. Do you just gave her the finger? I don't know I don't even know dogs could do that He grew it just for you. Oh, no, he's my dad's ex-wife. He's gagging now. He's gagging Also, I'm very jealous that doey has a nicer bread than me. It's honestly gorgeous. Nice. I think Dan bought it for him When Dan came over record it was so weird he had this big box and he was like doey Yeah, he broke up because Dan connected with dogs better than humans So that's how we ended up where we are Take that Dan Oh my god, this is actually therapeutic for me because I've actually never told anyone that I dated him Oh, are we like your parents? No, I've never said it in any like public capacity like even on my podcast. I've been talked about it But like our breakup was very healthy We like basically had a phone call where we just cried it out and we're both like yeah, I admit this I admit this this wasn't working This wasn't working and then I was like we both need to work in ourselves and we both need time away from each other Yeah, and friends now every three months we get coffee And we laugh it that's we still have great banter which is difficult for me because every now and then I'm like are we fucking Um, he's like oh no, no, he's like no good any idea funny no and then I was like he was here. We're both like should we fucking? I don't know he's so fuckable. He's so lovable like he's so fun. I mean funny whatever sorry Ashley's I don't know if you say I don't know if you can love him. I don't know his it bag issues But whatever I don't want to say lovable but it was like nice that Like to talk to him but understand like is we're not friends like I'm not I can't ever be friends with him But it's nice to check in with someone you've cared about so much and be like you good And it was good for my closure to be like the first time I saw him I cried the whole time the coffee shop It was terrible. Yeah, but I needed that yeah, and sometimes it's not selfish to be like I need to talk to you And talk some shit out Sometimes you can when you go through breakups obviously you guys did a really healthy breakup But sometimes it happens you're super angry. I've dealt with that. But it's also it's always nice to get to that point where like I hope this person's doing well. I cared about them You know and it's nice to you guys can even like meet up face to face and and do that. I don't know like you're cool with your Cool-ish I think we're not but we're the same way as you we're not friends. I also I've never I've never had sex with an ex ever. I only have sex with an ex Exclusive literally we went to DC and I was like Ashley. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna have sex with an ex We said I was like I'm not I literally was around him for like 25 minutes before he was like you want to go? Yes, yeah, I do and I was like what can I come he's so hot I've been talking shit on him for like a year. He walked into the room and asked like I like his vibe Oh my god, you are the worst friend. I know no matter how hot he looks you have to be like he's terrible He's not like that ex he's like she'd rain and never loved him He's not a guy that fucked her over because he was like the guy that she's right in good fucking right now I'll be like he leave. I'm over this like they just didn't have that's not like the ex You know what I mean? Yeah, so she had talked shit on this guy for this. It's a day. We match He's the worst you're gonna hate him Everyone has like what you're like I'm kind of into it I feel like everyone has the same kind of exes you have like the ex which is the one you're like never really For a guy and have a special place in your heart you have the ex that um Ruined you you've the ex that like is so fucking annoying and you're embarrassed even tell people you dated You know you like I did it this one guy cuz he was a bouncer in college and he also was a um a mascot And I thought it was hilarious. I have a mascot. I said it. I have a mascot finish He was hilarious, but like I can't he was just oh my god My dad would make fun of me all the time and then you did the guy who like doesn't have a job But like says he does. I don't know. I can go on and on With everyone's he says he's starting an app, but he's just jerking off in his mom's basement. Is he an online trainer? That's he's a founder of nothing on his Inge profile just as founder. It's a CEO. It's all so CEO I or a manager. I'm managing my own emotions every day. That's all I'm managing Yeah, and then yeah, it's everyone yeah, you know, I got out of the finance game just start this app and uh You're really doubling down on it but dad's money And if a guy ever says doubling down just leave right unless you're in Vegas Unless you're talking about cards. Yeah, this guy was none of those things this guy was like super hot and It doesn't matter how hot a guy is it doesn't matter. I the British guy I'd so if not to give a way stuff, but I did this British guy on the show. He's so hot. He was six six and Um the accent got annoying at some point It was done. It's like a language barrier. I wasn't like a language barrier But we had again he like I love attention and he loved attention and he would text me like a hundred times And he would like want to cuddle and all this and I just was like you know what I need a long time for the ever Forever forever I think I need to take a little time He's like how much you're like forever all the time in friday Let's set up our next date for never is never good for you Good, okay, awesome let's update for like Wednesday 2027 No, like I'm so over hot guys. I like ugly hot guys Ugly hot. It's a thing what ugly. Oh my god. You guys never heard of ugly hot. It's like a kind of guy Okay, it's it's kind of who's the guy who's ugly hot? Do you know the guy like ugly hot? Do you know? I'm like a six but my personality is great don't do that to yourself I think it's guys like do you know what he mean? Rhapsody the guy like rummy mallet that he's ugly hot What no he's hot. I feel like he's current sure Well see and again, I do not short shame. I'm just 510 so it's like I just need you I'm not gonna be like bigger than you yeah, but ugly hot is when you have like Not you're not stereotypically hot, but there's something about you like you're swag or like your passion for life Carry yourself that makes you super hot so he's not like the guy you'd notice about talking to you But once you start talking to him you're like why are my pants still on that is all I want I don't want to grow on my man I think is the hottest guy in the world and no one else Stay away from my man You need a naked look 10 times better than me. No, no, I'm not I mean, I love I don't like six packs I think six packs are fucking vane your 30. You're not training for like to be a professional athlete Why do you have a six pack now? Live your life be normal and let me cuddle with your like slightly like that I like I like to find arms. I don't need jacked, but like I got I can't do like skinny needle arms Yeah, cuz you want them to be able to carry you Yeah, just in case of emergency. I know I need like Mateo Lane's arms But like a straight guy But a straight straight Every day I wish Mateo Lane was straight Yes, swag. I love that though. Like I just don't I do not need anyone to think my man is hot I want it they need they need think he's funny. That's a that's a must like I don't need to walk into a room and people be like Why is he with her? I want people to be like he must be funny see I'm not gonna lie Sometimes dating Dan was exhausting cuz it's like we get it. You're fucking hilarious Like it's every room we walked in I was like Jesus Christ and then like God forbid I want to make a joke and then there's the issue. Oh, yeah in terms of funny I kind of like a guy who I just want to have a great sense of humor I want something to happen in a room and I look at him and we have the same reaction to it I don't need him to make the whole room last every fucking second. No offense Dan. No offense to you right You're great. I just like to like I like to be the funny couple you know Yeah, I like to be in a relationship where like we get going and people are like God, I want to be that Dan and I killed that weddings That's what I was saying the dance routines the wedding is like you want to be the comedy of dance routine Yeah, you know the weddings it was fun right before we broke up we went to a wedding that was fun Um, people were like are you guys getting married and I was like oh you have no idea what I have in store for him next week Oh my god, I'm being so terrible okay, all right I'm not talking about him and here we are you're welcome. It was cathartic. Okay. We want to play this game with you Unless you have any closing remarks. Oh close to wrap the topic to wrap it up for whatever We're gonna plug everything that you're doing at the end cool. No, I think the point of the matter is is that You're not trying to find the perfect person you're trying to find the perfect person for you And it takes knowing yourself and dealing with your own issues to find that. Oh, I love that Just stay fresh. I love it. I'm so sorry. So hot in here. We don't know what we're gonna do We cannot run the air pressure sweating. I know I already shower and we're like a Beyoncé shirt We're burning calories. That's fair, but I already showered so go in somewhere later. Okay. This game Is called red light green light and it's basically this thing happens when you're dating somebody is it red light full stop? Oh my god never again. Yeah, talk to you never or green light Who cares for j'ahead or you can give a yellow light if you're like, yeah, you know, okay So we're gonna just gonna shoot them off these are all listener submitted. Yes, we haven't played this in six months We forgot about it and then we listened to Andrew Collins episode recently and we forgot that we had this game in the rotation Best episode of all time except for this except for this And Dan's let's be honest It was probably a great episode That Barack Obama impression was unmatched. It always sounds like Barack angels He does the best impressions of everyone. I know That's the thing you don't know if he's perfect for you because I'd be seen down I'll be like do this guy do that guy and I just laugh all night. I know when you laugh when a guy makes Like a big orgasm wow That's a quote now. I'm like it's all making sense When you when you hear girls that can't let go of somebody It's because this guy made them laugh so much we hear all the time like you're like how am I gonna find another this not like the orgasms We're so good right Okay, so So we're gonna lobby that you you're gonna tell us red light green light yellow light I guess is an acceptable answer, but I'm excited to start No, but that's very well that I'm doing that one okay go go Um has zero decorations or personal photos in their apartment Green light because I'm like that and people think my apartment looks like a hospital room really Like your family um yeah, they're terrible no, it's more like I put my effort into other things And I always knew I was gonna like eventually move to my own place and I was just renting I just like don't care Okay, exactly okay, I feel like men don't decorate I much rather that than him have like decor decor Like live laugh love on his wall. Oh my god Okay, I'm seen if we have any new ones too. Oh my god This is wild these are funny because these happen to people right now Girls get ready Bracers makes you kiss his dick for good luck almost daily Like a blowjob or like kiss a goodbye Is it like kiss a goodbye on the way to work and could it be like over the pants Like Also, I don't like the word makes you it's like yeah, babe and he like takes the top of your head and pushes you down Like part of the deck also you can all like his in the shaft. Yeah, and is it all is it with tongue? I mean honestly, I think it's hilarious. I think we so funny, but like don't public be like babe. It's time I need some good luck About to go do a set. He's like I need that good luck kiss Okay, also girls don't ever do anything you don't want to do. Yeah, I just picture in a couple's going off to work and he's like Give me kiss. I got a big presentation today. I need a good luck kiss and you just drops his pants. You have to kiss this Okay, I like the clown and also it sounds like one of those things that he like tells his friends about like bro I got I convinced my chick that it's good luck if she kisses it. Oh Hey, that shit. What I like like it's good luck for you That's not like the yeah, I interpreted it as it was good luck for her to kiss. No you did oh Well, that's like guys who convince you that sperm is good for your pores right? Yeah, and guys that tell you blue balls like actually hurts shut up Oh my god guys would do that to me all the time shut up. All right right now your next um This one made me actually laugh on again because these things actually happen to people um You asked him what his last meal would be and he says pussy honestly green. I don't like to tell me it's funny Good for you like that's it's funny. It's clever and I love a man who loves to give okay He has a chest hat that says family is forever. Oh God Honestly if it was cuz he's like really fun and got really fucked up when I and got it. I say green I say green. I just don't I'm not super turn off by bad tattoos Yeah, I think he's human Neck or face yeah, yeah, Neck or face is that's gonna be hard to get a new job Um, but I I also think yeah, I think it's funny and it's much better than like some violent weird religious tattoo Something right yeah, like families forever. That's adorable because his mega you're like Meg on his car. He's like I had this in 2016. It was a crazy time. You're like yeah, it was a fucking crazy time what Secret Trump's not magnet has in 2019 now red flag absolutely not right unless they're being funny. I'm kidding No, never gonna. Okay. It's hipster It's also maybe laugh because it also happened to somebody You go back to their place and find out that they sleep in a hammock Nope No, that is I'm calling the police red Like a camping fetish like why do you sleep in a hammock? You can't I know at least get a dog bed at least like you can't afford a four or five hundred dollar mattress Um, I'm gonna tie a hammock in a house also how the fuck do you cuddle like how do we sleep together? How do you have sex? I've so many questions no hammocks no water beds out get out of here. No, and that's some yeah It's like I don't like camping. I don't like him hammocks. It's just not for me. Like he'll find the perfect person for him All right, I have a funny one for you because it's also clearly happened to somebody You find out that they want a themed wedding and in parentheses Harry Potter Christmas. No No, I don't know was there a comma between Harry Potter and Christmas or was it Harry Potter Christmas? I don't know because I know what Harry Potter Christmas is but that's a no for me dog Does he matter to some common not Harry Potter? My own curiosity I want to see Harry Potter Christmas The room by the different houses in Harry Potter. There was like a grip indoor area of the reception hall Can't sit here. We're hopper. It's a Christmas theme I like hate theme parties in general like summer house. They'd be like reading a theme party And I'm like I just want to wear my bathing suit and like jump in the pool and get blackout But I put some people go hard on theme parties. I don't want to have to go to Amazon. I don't have to like get a look Yeah, I'm either it's why I came here to dress. Yeah, it's one of my deepest darkest secrets that and I can't ride a bike I don't like theme parties. I know look if it's an athletic guy, but like loves Halloween like we're not gonna date and he definitely can't do bike marythons That'd be brutal All right, can you do soul cycle? She does a stationary bike, but I don't exercise, but those are separate things. If I did you were considering Maybe looking into a palatine. Oh, yeah, if anybody works for palatine also. I want a dyson. Should we just put what do you want? Um, so I got a nervous on nervous ice cream Okay, she wants blue bunny. I want new titties and a palatine, but also my get new titties. I feel like I'll lose weight Oh, I know I want to clone my cat. Okay, okay, I got a thing to happen Oh my god But seriously if anybody from dyson or has a contact of dyson I want this $400 fan because it's gonna keep the room cool. We can't have a C&W record So it's really a work expense and that is a big chunk of money to spend. I just want it so bad Absolutely, we need it also. What are the pretzels that I like? Which Bardetos? No, no, no the pretzels that like we both always have at home. They eat with hummus. You want you can't just buy that one's the flat one Yeah, what do they call you can buy this? I don't I could buy a dyson Dyson 50 cents are they're two dollars my bodega Yeah, but I go through a bag of them a day. Hold on. I'm googling it because if somebody works for them I want free one like real life Santa Claus. You're just like I want this and it'll just appear in your mail It happened once it happened once. Okay. I was like this is weird. I'll be the cheese last year at Christmas For teasing. Well, yeah good for their marketing team. I have them with the whole job. They're called pretzels They're snack factory pretzel criss. So you guys work for them Okay Red light green light corrects your grammar in front of people red light No, John done done. First of all, it's fucking patronizing. Yeah, probably has a small dick second of all How bad was it unless if people can't understand me language is about you understanding me And if you knew what I was trying to say don't worry about my grammar. Thank you Go on Instagram and bother someone else with the you and the yours and leave me the fuck alone. Who's my number? What's my number there is my drop? I have one mark is this girl's like particularly triggered she submitted like seven of them Oh, I love that one of them was like a combo that she just did a comma because this one's funny. Yeah Sends you not asked for dick pics in the morning. Comment doesn't have friends This is very specific. She's like and brunette Um and he's a tourist and he says oh well now that changes everything exactly I like the guys like sexual and like thinking of me and but like dick pics are so aggressive in the morning I don't want anything in the morning before 10 a.m. or I'll take actual dick. I don't ever want a dick pack ever I take actual dick before I'll take oh I'll take actual dick. Um if he's not like too big Dick has no hour for me. It's timeless. You know, but I don't want a t-shirt Did you guys know I don't ever want a dick pic you guys both know I got an unsolicited dick pic that last week and it was terrifying I said well, oh yeah, I heard about that you didn't screenshot it. I'm upset. I didn't screen. I'm upset you didn't I'm really like how did it look and I was like I don't remember I was terrifying every time I see him on Instagram I'm like I wish I knew what your dick looked like so I ran his fault I could have um this one says and then I actually want to go back to something that you said earlier because I wanted to comment This one says answers a phone call and a date and never apologizes Red but this is think these little things that you don't think are red flags are literally signs from the universe Like it's like, you know him like saying something slightly rude to his mom You're like that was nothing and then fast forward 10 years and he's like yelling You like he yelled at his mom and you're like, why didn't I listen to the red flag if a guy's disrespectful a little bit He'll be disrespectful especially early on when they're supposed to be in their best behavior Yeah, you do that stuff early. Oh my god What you said that I wanted to start going back to you said that the person you dated would like answer the phone and be kind of sure with you And this is something that I think is a huge thing is how you answer the phone when you talk to your significant other or your friends or your family Every time I call my mom she acts like it is the best thing that's ever happened And I think about that like with Reina every time I go Reina She's like really nice and upbeat and like one of my like an X of mine I just say whenever I would call him he would like be so cute and happy to hear from me And then I would be like I just want to be more like that you are like that. I try Like I don't want to be like hey, what's up? Like the second you answer a phone and someone that you care about and you're like hey, what's up? The tone they automatically are just like what did I are you annoyed to hear from me? And I just think that's such an important thing like you said that and it's so resonated with me Because I've definitely dated guys that like I call them figure out what we're doing that night And they sound annoyed and I'm like now our whole vibe has changed. Oh, yeah, you know Second you walk in the energy you get is gonna affect the room And I feel like you don't want to try to be something you're not and be some like up-added person But it's more just showing that like you treasure that time you're spending on the phone with you Yeah, you don't want to you don't have to change your affects and be like But it's more like hey, how are you a little smile? A little smile. Be yourself always but like the energy on an initial like yeah You walk into someone's apartment or you meet them somewhere or they answer the phone It's like I just I try to be more aware of that with myself Because I have a tendency like if I'm in a bad mood, it's gonna come off to someone else and then I have to like apologize later I'm like sorry, but I'm just trying to be better about like Because it sets a tone But it's also why you two are so good together because you mesh well. You're a little yin-yang. It's because actually works on herself I don't work on anything You worked on your tan earlier today. I work on my tan everyday. I'm gonna look like an old wrinkly Rocket oil We were We were in Seattle. We sat outside for four hours. I woke up a put 50 on obviously Raina just sits there in the sun. No sunglasses and then got mad at me because I didn't tell her I'm like bitch. What do you think the sun was doing? I go to dinner and she has beat face red. She's like I'm so embarrassed. I'm like what did you think was happening out there? She goes you put sunscreen on and I'm like yes, I'm in my 30s. What are you talking? I put 50 on this morning That's been adult and then we're in a hat. I went to the car to get the hat I'm impressed because I can't do anything for four hours like I don't want to do anything for that Accidentally really time. We just were gonna have brunch and then do other stuff and we were sitting these outer-onduct chairs in the dock of Seattle at this place Westward and like it was just beautiful. There's planes. There's like water playing. Yeah, I love eyes and all these boats and paddle boards And we were just like why are we leaving and fell asleep? No, I just sat there. Oh, so you were fully conscious Hundred and the burn we could not be more we could not be more different We just also our faces are different like you somehow don't have this skin damage to that I do but I I'm like tons of other things wrong D sunglasses hat turtleneck and right I'm like bitch, you need sunglasses. I can't even be out in any sun without sunglasses my eyes like Are sensitive and you're just like no, I don't need a full sun. Yeah But I have like big dick energy about my skin I was gonna see this guy that I like and I was so beat red when the sun I had to stop at CVS on my way to see him think buy a four dollar concealer to put it on my face. I just love that you were like Why did you tell me? I was like you couldn't feel it. You couldn't feel the sun I love when people like people are different than them like I think that's what the relationship is you because like I'm fucking sick of myself like I don't want to be with someone who's just like me with my issues I always say I'm fascinated by shy people because they don't like just Say anything that comes into their head all the time and I'm like what is that life? Like I want to like to not have to say something. Yeah, like I love being around people like that because I'm like you are Incredible to me people are like I interrupt everybody all the time. I'm like I know because my thoughts are so Problem also just whatever this is how conversations work with people that have stuff to say shut up Interrupt all the time. We're just talking How are we talking? Conversation with women if I don't talk over you. I don't like you I'm also smart and I know what you're gonna say at the end of the set Like I'm just skipping ahead Oh my god You're welcome. What if I'd wait three seconds for answering? I'd people would think I was like slow. Are you allowed to say slow now? It is yeah I thought we said special last week or two weeks ago Marie Fossum told me I was special And I rode the VIP bus to school Because you're a specialist He thought you're especially your VIP Oh, no people who are creative of special brains. It's true. All right. Should we I gotta get the tits what All right, well listen guys if you were for any of the companies we mentioned or plastic surgeon I'm trying to get new titties Um this summer, please hit us up There's a drug probably in a month. I just know I need the fan this summer too. I don't need the fan in September Dyson where you have August is a good time for new titties for me. I'm gonna need that fan this week dyson though As soon as we get back from Minneapolis new titties August it's happening Okay, anyways you have been an absolute pleasure like we knew you would be Thank you. Can you plug your things and say where your Instagram how to spell your Instagram your podcast where to find you awesome So my name is Hannah burner my podcast is at being burned so that's be I N G be are and Z it's complicated. I should whatever I made it like way so I go. Thank you honey And then follow subscribe. I'm like follow subscribe to my podcast burning inhale It's a comment about the hot podcast you guys would like it and um yeah watch summer house is pretty fun Yeah, binge it. Yeah, cuz it's over now. It's over now But it just ended so it's still fresh. You still look the same you haven't gotten like a new face. No, not you don't know that season two phase I don't have my season two phase. You're beautiful. Don't do it I like that they ended just in time to start filming season two so you guys are all freshly pissed at each other. Oh yeah You know, everything's like see those fresh and reminds me like I forgot she said that should about me exactly They play the tape at like run the tape. Yeah run the door remember real I forgot I was mad at her But yeah, if we start filming again, we haven't her for sure, but it would be this month. Oh also stay tuned if we do summer house Ashing rain are gonna come to the party so there might be the background. Yes. Oh my god Yeah, I can really I can really fight a cast member watch me on watch me in the background just like probably roasting Jordan Wait, who would you guys hook up with on somewhere else? Oh good question. I don't know who would I run you? No, not me other than you. I feel like you would just rip Karl apart. Yeah, you would but like he's physically like I could see making out with him drunk okay, a girlfriend God no So yeah catch me in the back of a summer house party and just yelling at somebody I'm sure he's too tall for me But he's from Pittsburgh like me. I'd fuck him. I mean, let's be honest if you hugged him your head would just like hit his Always tall. Oh, I'm in he's six five. Oh done. Yeah, perfect height guys also a subscribe right review with us Girls got EPocast calm stupid live shows calm miniapolis is there get your tickets Those are gonna go quick false Instagram girls get EPocast Twitter all the things that's it guys have a good week. Bye