Speaker 1Shut up and sit down. Welcome to Being On Stage, the only podcast that gives you motivation, inspiration, and confidence to be better on stage. No matter how you entertain, sing, dance, band, comedian, public speaking, MC, drag, burlesque, performance art, or street performer, this is the show for you. Hey Rockstars, Reggie Dawson, your host of the Being On Stage podcast. Welcome back. So, I was watching a video today on Facebook. Yes, I'm diving right in, of course I am. I was watching a video of a friend of mine on Facebook. He was performing up at a local bar. And when I say local, local for him. I didn't realize he was there, otherwise I would have made the trip to see it live. So I was watching the video that was posted. And the funniest thing happened. Okay, he's in the middle of doing his set. He's going hard. He's on his guitar. It's just him and his guitar and everything. And these people just start walking up to him. And just like standing there. One of them gives him a shot. Which, hey, you know, that's cool. But then they just start standing there like collectively like right in front of where he's singing. Like two feet from him maybe. And it got me thinking, you know, of course there was alcohol involved. They were probably drunk. But it got me thinking about all the times. This happened to me. And it's probably happened to you on stage. If it hasn't happened yet, don't worry. It will. But so you're going, you're, you know, you're performing on stage. You're doing your thing. And all of a sudden these people, they either try to make a show about them. Or they try to make it more personal between you and them. Like, like as if it's almost like they feel like you're performing, especially just for them. And so they all of a sudden feel like they're the only audience member. So they get as close. They get as close as they can. Sometimes they get on the stage with you. I've had people try to dance with me on stage and just completely throw off the whole routine and everything. And, you know, at first you, you, you know, you acknowledge it. You maybe you play along even, you know, maybe you dance with them a little bit. Give them a little bit of attention in that hope that they're then going to head back to their seats or their spot or wherever, you know, the bar may be considering they're probably already drinking. But yeah, so, you know, you acknowledge it a little bit, play along a little bit and, you know, let it go. Right. But what if they don't leave? What, what, at what point? And this is, listen, there's going to be points where your audience is just going to give you too much love. And at what point do you do something about it? Ah, there's the question, because here's the thing. You're on stage. You're, you're trying to be professional. You're maintaining the effect. And the experience of your performance. Plus, you got to, you got to stay friendly with people. People don't want to, people don't want to come see you if you're going to be a jerk when they try to interact with you. So, you know, what do you do? What point do you say something? What point do you do something? Or do you do something? And it's a very important question. I've seen it happen to a couple of performers before. And I've seen a range of reactions. So I've seen the reaction where the performer just like they just snap. It's like. It's like they push the person off the stage or if they're talking on the microphone, they'll say something to them, like they'll call them out. And that's usually the that's usually the one that gets me a lot is is when you call them out and you say something like you actually say something like, you know, you're standing up here and no one else can see. And who would you who do you think? Like, sometimes they make it funny. Sometimes they make it serious. But you see those reactions where you just snap. That's that's going to that's going to escalate. OK, and that's going to cause a problem. Not just for you. It's going to cause a problem for the venue where you're performing. It's going to cause a problem for the other audience members, because now now the experience is lost. Now the the atmosphere and what you were going for. That's that's lost. That's ruined. And yes, 100 percent. The the the drunkard, the drunkard person that was causing, you know, that was, you know, maybe getting a little too intimate, a little too close, a little too involved with the performance. Yeah, they're partial. They're partially responsible when what when you snap, when you reach that point where you just verbally assault them or physically assault them. You're kind of at fault, too, for for losing the experience. And, you know, now it's a negative experience for the rest of the audience as well, because they've just witnessed this guy get the or girl, this person get the best of you. So what do you do? And I fully agree with at first play along because some listen, most of the time they will find a way back to their seats most of the time. Play along, you know, give them their little two seconds of attention. Kiss the lady's hand. Dance. Acknowledge the gentleman, you know, whatever, whatever dance with, you know, make eye contact with them, interact with them. You know, that that's the first thing. Don't just all of a sudden assume they're trying to steal your spotlight and steal your thunder. A lot of times they're just drinking. They're just having a good time and you're doing something that they're enjoying. Otherwise, they wouldn't bother. OK, not not every. Drunk person that comes to you is trying to start something with you or you're really most of the time they're just enjoying themselves and they want to be closer to where they action and where the where the positive vibes are, you know. So that's one thing to think about. So how do you react? So, well, you react first in a positive way. Not how do you react, but first you react in a positive way. You know, acknowledge, play along. Then what? Then what if they don't leave? What if they don't leave? What if what if it does escalate? You know, I've had it happen to me where I've done my thing and just because the person is drunk, they like they hold on to my tie a little too long or, you know, they keep coming back to me and trying to pull me away and and pull me in their direction. And there has been times where I've had to what I've honestly done is I've I've kind of whispered in their ear like I've given them a hug or whatever. And I'm like, OK, I have to I have to go to see other people now. You know, thank you. And that's it. And a lot of times they go back. But then you get those people that they will continue to. They just they either stand in your space, they stand right in front of you like you're singing just to them or dancing just for them. Sometimes they try to interact with you or perform with you. And in those cases, keep doing what you're doing. Like they say, even when you're learning to perform, when you're first starting, my daughter took dance in sixth grade and they say, even if you make a mistake, even if someone else makes a mistake, just you keep going no matter what. Just keep going. And that's kind of what. You do. You just keep going. Then there are those times where it just gets to be too much. So first, I never recommend going to a gig by yourself. You should always have someone there with you to support you, whether it be a friend, a family member, even if it's just an acquaintance, someone that you just even if it's someone that you just met that night, like talking as you're walking around before the gig or whatever, and you happen to meet somebody. A lot of times you got to give you got to have someone. You can give that rescue me look to, you know, the look, you know, the look. It's the look you give someone where you're staring at them and you're just like, you need to come help me with this right now. And you just repeat that over and over and over in your head. Sometimes you have to mouth the word help if you can. Sometimes you will have to involve the security at whatever venue you are. Most of the time, most of the time, if it gets to be a point where it is a nuisance, other audience members will step up. Or even staff will step up and will, you know, pull those people away or deal with the problem. You as the artist, you as the entertainer should never, quote unquote, get your hands dirty dealing with the problem. You should never break face, never break that character in that experience that you're giving. If if you have to break, because maybe that's just to that point where I mean, if they're grabbing your guitar or if they're trying to dance with you while you're in the middle of this contest. If you're in a temporary movement and they're trying to do salsa, if you're I don't know, if you're in the middle of doing something, they're trying to grab the microphone. Of course, at some point, you're going to have to break what you're doing and stop. But don't break the character that you're in. Don't break that positive vibe that you're just trying to give people a good experience. Save your instrument. Save the microphone. Stop. You know, don't do anything to injure yourself or anybody else. Try to continue the show as best you can. If it gets to that point, you have got to trust. The venue staff to jump in. And if they don't, here's the kicker. If they don't jump in, if no one comes to your rescue, then trust me when I tell you that is not the place for you to be performing. If they expect the artist to completely handle themselves and break that experience and and ruin the atmosphere, that is not the place that you want to be performing. You want a place that is going to support you as an entertainer and allow you to give the experience to their. Paying customers that you've guaranteed to give. And I know nothing's a guarantee, but you have to let them do their job. You have to try to maintain composure and peace inside yourself and not let it get to you, because ultimately, even if these people are just being like obnoxious jerks. They're in their mind, they're just having a good time, and that means you're doing the right thing. they've just had a little too much to drink. and there's hey there's nothing wrong with that i mean in some cases of course there is something wrong with that so i'm going to talk about one more scenario here and that is in which they actually do get violent by all means defend yourself as best you can but don't go wailing back on them don't be the one that's on the offensive defend yourself back away from the situation that's the best thing you can do you have to maintain professionalism because like it or not when you're on stage you're at work that is your job so even if someone gets physical with you yes defend yourself yes defend your equipment don't knock somebody out restrain them if you can have other people help you that's fine do whatever it is you can to protect yourself your equipment and the experience but the experience that's the hardest one because the minute you start being on the offensive whether it be verbally physically physically listen don't go breaking your guitar over anyone's back or anything but if if you go on the offensive you will never recover the night if you remain if it gets physical if you remain on the defense defending only and if you remain if it doesn't get physical remain composed and peaceful and positive your audience is also going to be able to get over this situation a lot faster once it is contained and uh you're going to be able to get over this situation a lot faster once it is contained and uh stopped i was going to use some big word but i just decided to keep it simple once the situation stopped and it's been you know squashed per se then the audience if you can recover gracefully and keep your composure then the audience will do the same they'll follow you you're by the way in case you didn't know that you're the one that controls the mood of the night whether you lose it and snap on these people or if you stay positive or if you get sad and depressed and angry regardless what you're doing you're the one that controls the mood of the night whether you lose it and snap on these people or if you stay positive or if you get sad and depressed and angry regardless what you're doing you're you're by the way in case you didn't know that you're the one that controls the mood of the night whether you lose it and snap on these people or if you stay positive or if you get sad and angry regardless what you're doing you're the one that controls the mood so if you control yourself they'll control themselves and everyone will be able to get on and have a happy everyone will be able to get on and have a happy everyone will be able to get on and have a happy time a lot quicker once it's over something you want to talk about anything something you want to talk about anything something you want to talk about anything bothering you anything you're trying to bothering you anything you're trying to bothering you anything you're trying to work through as an artist or performer work through as an artist or performer work through as an artist or performer i'm here for you i'm happy to chat it i'm here for you i'm happy to chat it i'm here for you i'm happy to chat it up with you for up to up with you for up to up with you for up to 30 actually i'll just chat with you 30 actually i'll just chat with you 30 actually i'll just chat with you however long it takes you can jump on my however long it takes you can jump on my however long it takes you can jump on my calendar at being on stage dot com slash calendar at being on stage dot com slash calendar at being on stage dot com slash calendar calendar calendar and pick a date and time and i will give and pick a date and time and i will give and pick a date and time and i will give you a call you a call you a call and we will focus on you and we will get and we will focus on you and we will get you a plan to get through your stuff you a plan to get through your stuff you a plan to get through your stuff and get you going to the artist and get you going to the artist and get you going to the artist and the performer that you envision and the performer that you envision and the performer that you envision yourself to be and the one that you were yourself to be and the one that you were yourself to be and the one that you were born to be as always born to be as always born to be as always keep on shining
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