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David's Turning 30

46m 37s

David's Turning 30

Happy 30th Birthday, David!!! Come celebrate today's episode as David turns 30 and we get deep. Also, cheating for $60,000 a month, Jonah turns into HR, and David confronts Jason on having too many podcasts! And a little bit later, David tried to figure out what everyone got him for his birthday.. Jason's latest podcast: https://open.spotify.com/episode/61UTZ4SwiaF4y7Gx6zxdLJ?si=OKpr4nreQ5OEqEd68ecq8A Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Transcription

9990 Words, 48401 Characters

what's up guys welcome back to views we are back with another podcast episode who gives a fuck no brother what are you doing i'm over the shit brother we're just getting in a good groove i swear to god we're just getting in a good groove here you should see the email the email is popping off people are listening and people love that we're getting the episodes out on time no dude i'm telling you we're blowing up right now well yeah but don't don't don't see my last my last vlog is a one out of ten yeah i know i saw you texting me last night congratulations that's huge one out of ten means youtube ranks the videos out of your last 10 videos how it's doing and this is this is my first one out of ten in i don't know six years right isn't that kind of crazy right right like so long right right when you came back you still were fighting against those other one out of tens from three years ago or whatever well they didn't really invent the one out of ten system okay okay but then once they invented it i like maybe maybe got like one out of ten like very rarely but yeah this is a big deal and what do you think it was that gave you a one out of ten i have no fucking idea i'm stoked it's the thumbnail how much is the thumbnail how much is the thumbnail how much is it oh what does it have to do with the video is it about 90 50 i always say that how well your video did then this is wrong in some cases but like how well your video did doesn't have to do with how good the video is just how good the thumbnail is but how many people come back to the next video is a representation of how your last video did so like my last video must have been pretty good and over that and the one before that but guys it is one day before i guess when this podcast comes out it is officially yeah my 30th birthday how you feel 30 3 0 what will you do i know you're gonna have a big party but like will you do anything special like in the morning or will you go sit with john and you know i don't know i don't look at birthdays like that anymore i don't look at them as like ages no dude birthdays are the best when it's my birthday i i start celebrating like two days before really yeah yesterday we were in the car and it was the first time i asked taylor to make me a sandwich and it was kind of late yeah so it's like out of sandwich making time and then i went but it's my birthday week and she goes oh shit and that was the first time i used that pull the card yeah and i had i completely forgot about it and our filmer who was with us in the car was like yo you could have been saying that like all month long and i'm like fuck i should have been using like my birthday month and it's already the fucking 23rd so i'm kind of late on that which really sucks yeah um did you get the sandwich um i got the sandwich i mean it's my birthday week you can't say no to that which is really really kick ass uh yeah i don't know i don't know how 30s 30s i think 30 is going to be weird i think 31 is going to be awesome once i'm like really settled into 30 uh-huh no no that's a lie 30 is going to be cool 30 is great 29 is the worst fucking age uh yeah it's like yeah i i well okay let me back check again i just backtracked like twice i really enjoyed 29 because a lot of people were like you're still in your 20s like a lot of people hit me with that this year for some reason out of anything everyone was like shocked and i this is the last year where i actually think i felt young yeah i don't know i'm sure that'll happen when i'm also 39 and people will be like you're still in your 30s yeah but like um but 29 that's like it felt good it felt like i was like my last days of being a teenager like that's how when i was 18 19 and that was like when i was like picking like when i was starting to vine dude when i was 17 18 19 i've lived a very fortunate life where i was always ahead of the clock and i was like i'm gonna be like i'm gonna be like i'm gonna curve by a little so like even when i played tennis i was good for my age i was good for a 14 year old right and people were always impressed with how good i was and i for my age and i think i chased that feeling for a really long time i chased that through vine i chased that through like youtube and i was like always a little bit ahead of the curve yeah for my age and i think that felt really good and i think that that's been a hard thing to come to terms with getting older it's like i remember turning 22 and i was like oh it's not anymore that i'm like this social media guy and i'm so young i'm just like a social media guy now um yeah and it gets less and less cute right yeah it gets less and less cute gets less and less impressive but i think that's just like something with old age i don't know like this laminia mall guy 18 years old plays for spain 19 19 19 plays for spain like that's gotta feel so good that's gotta feel so good sure i watched a video of when he first like played in his like first professional game whatever when he was 16 yeah 16 fucking years old you know how crazy that is especially for soccer out of all sports it's not like he got into like i don't know it's not like he's like to me it feels like soccer would be the sport where a 16 year old could come through really yeah yeah because it's just like about speed and you know ball handling someone was talking about why soccer could never be big in the united states did you see this no tell me why i'm so interested like a 16 year old in the united states well to be a really good soccer player we'll have to spend like 50 to 100 000 a year for like clubs and stuff blah blah but in europe the way it's set up is a 15 year old will be making 50 to 100 000 for their club and for their family at that age oh wow so like it's it's a little backwards here you have to spend money to be really good and there if you're really good you're rewarded instantly yeah that was what i heard about messi was that he's been playing with the same guys since he was seven really so imagine if you were making vlogs holy shit with nick antonian when you were seven how good you guys would be now damn that's crazy they know each other like pretty well yeah like they know exactly what they're gonna do they know they know when messi's like if i was stuck with jonah for 30 years doing the same shit i don't know if we would get any better i think at some point i'd be like i'm not passing the ball to him i told you nick was in charge the other day on a shoot yeah and we were working with a little person so one of the crew members like used a term for a little bit of a little person that you're like not supposed to use yeah the m word m yeah yeah okay just want to make sure yeah dude m as in mother yeah yeah yeah and it was so it was kind of cool and it was also just melted my brain yeah jonah had to like be like hey we don't use that word yeah nick had to come over and be hr yeah no i like that i like that too it's character development and the guy goes that's what life's all about yeah and the guy goes why not and nick goes because he's a person that's amazing he has feelings like that it's like someone puts the tiktok they're like what do you call what do you call what's like the proper way to call a little person yeah and chat gpt responds saying uh by their name so good so good um yeah no props to jonah for um for that character development there hey why is divorce so expensive putting his phone what is this a joke yeah why is divorce so expensive because it's worth it that's funny the joke i heard does everybody hate their wives ah yeah i mean i don't busted bitch no no i love my wife no i know but my wife if my wife was here she would concur we we do like a relationship podcast we talk about that a lot we're like how come how come nobody's happy bro how many podcasts do you do you fucking freak i have your podcast with your friend jeff yep i do the all good things podcast but it was too hard to book guests so i so i was like all right because i had a podcast with my friend jeff how many pods you have i have one one well two but they go out on the same channel so it's kind of like you get two two podcasts from me and you just love them that much well i like i like like i like the money it's not that much money but when's the last time you've done something because you actually like enjoyed it i made my sitcom okay now you enjoyed that that was like that's like how much did that make you zero i mean that's the problem no no i mean it's not even the podcast is making so much money but like there's a part of me that's like well if you dip like i still need something to go to i won't dip you you're you threaten to dip every day yeah but that's like part of the charm that's just to keep you on your toes but if you dip then i'm like you realize what a good thing we have i know what a good thing we have but also i could see you being like oh i i met this girl tatiana and i'm like i'm gonna moving to croatia that's so weird because i have a friend tatiana i know i'm sure you have five and she's from iceland very close no way yeah very close and she visits she visits a lot but you don't owe me anything so it's it's also like no i should hit up tatiana hey let me talk no no no she's beautiful hey let me tell you that you don't owe me anything so it's like i'm just kind of trying to build something on the side in case you no no no i'm i'm like fully in case you're like i don't fucking want to do this i don't want to sit in a room full of fucking i don't know right now but i don't want to sit and do this anymore no this pot's pretty easy i try to make it easy for you you know why i stopped doing it it's because of video pod all right yeah i hate to figure that out no i know let me tell you this i had a call today you know i'm like a big watch guy yeah so i had a call today with patek yeah um to like get get the relationship started the watch game is crazy okay you can't walk in to i walked into patek store in new york this is a unannounced just meet myself and there was like two 50 year old men working the front whatever and i was like all right can i buy any of these watches and they go no and then i go can i just see one of the watches is like i'm so sorry no like it is that crazy to get a watch none of the watches at these stores you can buy because you have to be put on a waiting list okay right that's how it works because everybody wants the watches they can't keep up with the demand they could sell you know what i mean they can close all their shops now yeah and be selling to the so so i i asked i asked for these two watches i want they're not that crazy of watches okay one of the watches i already have i just want a different color and i bought that watch from the gray market so so let's so let me explain this to you you buy a watch yeah from if you buy a watch from patek you buy it for 40 000 the second you leave the store with that watch that watch is not worth 150 000 wow it's worth that much because the demand is that crazy so i bought a watch on the gray market i spent 100 grand for i paid 60 70 000 over what they're actually going for because demand's that so i i was asked to put on a list today are you allowed to sell it yeah you're allowed to sell it but then they won't sell you a watch anymore okay anyway so i asked i was like i want these two watches could i be put on the list this guy was great he was really nice usually watch people are really snot snobby and snooty and whatever and he was just like i'm i hate this is my least favorite part of my job is having to explain this to clients because it really does suck but if i i can't put you on those lists because we just closed them and the waiting time even with the list we have currently for the watch you want is about 10 years and by then the watch will most likely be discontinued wow so putting you on the waiting list even now that's why we closed it is like because we don't think we'll make the watches that people want by the time they're ready for people to get them wow by the time how crazy is that um and so did you what is the watch that hard to make is it all handmade i don't know why don't they just make yes they are like yes they're very hard to make and they're handmade and they're very special but like they only every store only gets like three or four of a specific watch just to keep demand and to keep exclusivity so what if i'm michael jordan can i walk into the tech and they'll let me try one on trying one on is easy this was a very weird circumstance where they were like this is a very exclusive patek i walked into it's kind of genius it's kind of a genius way to do things no for sure creates demand it's kind of like your vlogs uh yeah but they only come out once every two weeks and if you're michael jordan the answer is you got a bunch on the waiting list right now if you're michael jordan the answer is you got on you got on the list early but no i don't know it's really tough yeah i'm not into watches and i wouldn't if i had a lot of money i don't even know if i'd buy one it's but because i don't know if i'd buy one i don't know if i'd buy one i don't know if i'd buy one but because what is it what is it like you like like it on your wrist well why it's so good is it's an investment it's not going to go down okay and it's like and but you can't sell it or else you piss off patek you can though in like 10 years you know i mean you just can't like fucking buy and resell ah like if you're collecting them and you're selling some watches off to make room for your collection you can do that so if they're so hard to get how come you have two because i bought them on the gray market the gray market yeah would you register them no oh yeah but like another thing that people so if you want to sell them on the gray market you can but because you didn't register it can you not get that much money for it no i can sell it no matter what oh and no problem the registering has nothing to do with anything other than the guy probably that originally bought it will maybe get in trouble from the tech um when you bought it did he go don't register this no it was dude it was already sold i bought it from a fucking watch dealer i didn't buy it from a guy no but people get watches this is a saying that people say not to get time but to not to tell the time but to show people that people get watches that your time is worth money it's kind of damn kind of cool um and i just love them i love watches i think i think they're really cool because i think like i think like a cool car you you have to leave in the parking lot and like i really think some watches are like pieces of art and like i love art and just having it on your wrist yeah i genuinely look at my watch about five to ten times a day like just to like admire it so i genuinely actually like them and i am and i am a bring me joy and in the afterlife i do genuinely hope i get to bring at least a couple of my patek watches with me like i think you know people like people say you can't be buried with your possessions like i don't care it's making my life so much better here on earth like i i think materialistic objects can make you happy i don't subscribe to the idea of people being like you need this and again this is the same argument we always have it's like i think i'm very rich in friendships yeah so i don't think i ever like have to look at that and like be sad about it so the next thing is like buying fun things sometimes it actually makes me excited a nice i don't know a nice car is nice but like also like owning a ferrari is like it's stressful for sure so stressful it's like where am i gonna park i bought very stressful oh my god i i don't even want to go in that car no no it's very stressful it's why did you buy it even keeping it in my car well because aston offered it to me and again that was like an asset it's like a thing that will make me money right so so it's it's different and i got two free ferraris from my friends so it was just buy two how much money are you gonna make on the valhalla a couple hundred grand oh never mind jay i've been wanting to get out of the house so bad oh i know that's unlike me yeah yeah what's going on you got a little cabin fever it's not even that i just want to use the ck gap i want to buy tickets i don't even want to go to the events oh i just love the experience on ck because it's the number one rated ticketing app there are more than 70 000 events it's literally listed on ck did you know that i do and with over 35 million downloads they're number one there's so many different artists going on tour right now and us is hosting the world cup this is the time to use seeking if you've never used it before guys go get some world cup tickets seeking has your back each ticket is rated on a scale of 1 to 10 so you know you're getting a good deal look for the green dots green means good red means bad plus every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee concert season is here to make it even better you can use code views 10 for 10 off your seeking tickets that's 10 off tickets with promo code views 10 thank you see geek oh and also let me say yeah our argument yesterday yesterday about the timing of the podcast you don't think it matters what time the pod comes out but let me explain it to you this way imagine olivia jade did a show lover every monday yeah about how incredible you are she talked about your skills as a creator she talked about your looks your skills on the ball court i hope post notifications are on for this for sure and not only olivia jade but it was her some of her friends too really yeah some of her friends get on there and they they only say good things about you oh that means i'm like in with the whole with the whole crew there yeah yeah that means even more to me yeah and this is a show that you you're ready for every monday yeah you're like the olivia jade talking about david show yeah wouldn't you wouldn't you want that show yes i i do get it yeah but my argument is people should just pretend this is what i would do if olivia was late on and sometimes it came out on monday at 8 p.m yeah i'd be like olivia post tuesdays okay but most people don't do can't do that why they don't do that because they can't change most people go to a job and they're like most likely they go monday and tuesday and wednesday yes but they're like they're like oh nice it's tuesday and views is up and they're up early like okay this makes my day so much fucking better okay let me let me do this for the listeners if you guys are complaining about what time we post they're not complaining we upload they're happy that we were early the other day they're not complaining this wednesdays and fridays are the days we upload no that's gonna fuck us up now we're gonna be posting on fucking wednesday night between us we're still posting tuesday and thursday we're good i just like don't know why you bring this shit up it's like you shoot yourself in the leg no it's because it's anything i say you go the other way thank you also a lot of people were siding with me on the microsoft thing oh no i got the opposite jay you don't actually you get like one dm and then you think it's the opposite i got so do you you get one dm from a guy you get one dm from a guy jason fucked up the podcast and then you fucking text me like you fucked up the positive no i didn't know fucking perfect from now on do you see now like last time you fucked up the podcast i sent you eight screenshots because i just want to that is a issue with serious xm that's not my point that's my point that is the point no my i didn't fuck up the podcast my point is did you see how many dms i got about it yes i sent you a whole little carousel yes i saw yeah but because now i'm i i don't want you to think that i'm just panicking off one dm now i send you the whole group i'm like look i just got 10 dms within the last two minutes yeah all about podcasting right it's your fault it's your head on the line don't stop saying that it's my fault it's not my fault all right well it's not my fault jason sent me this dm saying dolph lungren who i don't know who that who is that he was a big action almost throw up yeah i'm just so sick of you i'm so sick of your shit dolph lungren paid his wife he used to be like sylvester stallone like that type of guy this is alleged by the way actually i don't know because it says he speaks openly about this he dolph lungren paid his wife sixty thousand dollars a month for permission to cheat how do you feel about that now as a woman he allocated 60 grand to the girl to the woman and he he was allowed to cheat yeah to his wife dude i mean no i don't like that yes you yes you do you 100 do i don't think you're thinking do you understand what i said he's giving his wife 60 000 a month so he can cheat on her yeah no i heard you a lot of clear that sounds right up your alley that literally matt we've had cheating conversations before and you have literally told me you let your husband cheat for free and you take him back so don't tell me okay you can't say that you can't put that those words out there because that's not what i intended when i was saying but you said if your husband cheated you'd be able to get through it i've i which is fucking crazy by the way i'm with natalie actually fuck what yeah and navina and i argue about this all the time she's like if i she always tells me she's like if i cheat on you jason you have to leave and i go like what oh my god if my girlfriend even said that if my girlfriend said that i'd be like chopping block you're dead to me i'm also just this is so incredibly micro circumstantial that that what i was referring to when i said that originally like i wasn't like i wasn't like yeah he can go with my fucking friend jessica and cheat on me and i'm gonna forgive him like obviously there's different levels to the cheating it sounds like you want your husband to be fucking girls no no i'm kidding but like i i just want my husband to be fucking period and if i don't want to fuck him then i understand but i just i never want that for my relationship crazy why so you're saying if you're if you're done having sex with him which a lot of people do but i don't want to fuck him married couples in their fourth fifth sixth and so on i it's it's a lot harder to get have sex for a lot of couples okay 100 so you're saying at that point i'll tell you exactly what i'm saying okay i'm saying i come from a divorced family right so i understand shit doesn't necessarily last forever okay i like this thing what you're taking i want my relationship to last forever okay i don't want to get a divorce i don't want to split up or anything so if they're a point in time in my relationship where maybe we're 15 years in or 20 years in or something not saying right away not saying like go fucking spread everything around town but if there comes a point where we maybe need he needs to explore another option or something because i'm fucking 60 and i don't necessarily want to fuck him anymore which i don't you know i'm sure i still will but like i have a lot of faith in myself i'm just saying in confidence when we had this conversation confidentially between each other i was saying i would be understanding of that situation i would have the conversation with real talk huh real talk from that i mean that is yeah that's some of the real shit you've ever said first of all and that's uh that's very what's what is that not open-minded is that it's open-minded yeah very strong willed strong-minded too like that's impressive i'm not saying he goes and has a second wife you know or like has an affair and is in love with somebody else picture year four year four damn no fuck nothing's happening in year four hold on but year four is like no you're four of marriage so you've probably already been together three years so this is your seventh year of being together i'll be someone with six months and we're gonna get married okay fourth year of being married sex has slowed down to once every three weeks well he goes to miami okay this is just sleeps with a girl he goes to 11 never sees her he goes to 11 on my free table and fucks another he buys a condo he buys a condo at 11 we keep pushing this condo with pool and massage access i just you need to paint a different picture because none of that's ever happening it's just not that's not even a realistically possible scenario how are you so brave in your thoughts because i'm not entering into relationship if that's even a possible like there's there's something other deep there's something else that's deeply wrong that dude can i tell you things go things go sideways for sure but if it's year four you know how many you're going to cheat we're breaking up period point blank period that's not that's not what i'm talking about okay okay okay okay you're saying like deep in yeah yeah okay well now back to the original question would you pay would you take a sixty thousand dollar salary a month i would like to negotiate a fee for sure if we're if we're deep into it not deep into this is like you're you're three or four no well 60 grand a month how much is that oh my god i say you take the 60 grand and then let him go fuck his life up because that's what's going to happen you know you go and you like start other relationships i would do it i would do it if my wife was like it's 60 grand a month yeah but you're grandfathered in for at least 10 years of this deal i would need to know that like because he will fuck his life up yeah he will get into new relationship and i'd obviously also not have to like this wife as much as like a regular wife at this point do you know i mean like i can't like be actually in love with the wife and then she's like i'm gonna pay you to go for it fuck other guys so eat me alive um but um but i'm talking like you know we're on the outs we're like five years and she's kind of like natalie doesn't want to divorce yeah and she like gives me a little stipend yeah 60 000 a month is pretty kick-ass oh but you know what that means actually for dolph lundgren what i assume with this 60k his wife is not allowed to cheat i would assume yeah oh i think he's that type of guy for sure yeah because then you just have an open relationship right ah so okay so so then i'm getting paid 60 grand but i can't spend it at the club so i don't even know what i'm gonna buy oh you're you're doing this scenario where you're getting the 60k and your wife's going fucking everybody but i'm also fucking everybody because now i make so much money oh yeah now i'm like look how look how rich i am and i spend that on going to 11 paying the mortgage on the condo my answer is no okay 60 grand is also just like not an enough for you to fuck my hey i've kind of figured out why i'm like the jealous type oh like insecure okay and i this is a very pivotal moment in my life groundbreaking this is 30 baby we're realizing shit well this is a story i've referenced a lot um but i use it to when i say my relationship with my parents got weird have i said that on the pod yes yes i'm sure yeah yeah i'm sure right but i also think that's when i develop like oh my god like this can happen when my friend hooked up with the girl i was into yeah and like this is the first girl i ever had a crush on wait wait wait go a little more context what are you talking about you're talking about your parents no i'm talking about well there's there's a lot there's a lot to unpack there but my least favorite word really unpack i love it i love it i love it when you're talking about uh yourself i don't like when someone's like let's unpack that yeah i don't like that oh let's unpack that oh i hate that uh you just misstepped so let's take some time and talk about it no but i think okay so go ahead be a little clearer you're talking about a girl i was into in high school yeah and i asked my friend to go with me yeah who just so happens to be alex should we go with you where should we get him down here to go to her sure yeah this is actually good has alex has entered the chat let's go okay guys my friend is here from my hometown dj dj red free yeah it's not good nostalgia it's trauma nostalgia did we ever talk about um of about when you started dating that girl that i liked on the pod which one the first one yeah i'm sure you've talked about it yeah with you maybe okay well how old were we 12 okay yeah okay so we were really i was saying that like i've just now put the pieces together of why i'm not a girl i'm not a girl i'm not a girl i'm not a girl i get jealous and i'm insecure in a relationship and i think that's it right like wouldn't that make sense like wouldn't that didn't you one time also connect this to you no yes like my relationship my parents yes yeah yeah no no i think that was a very that was my first like traumatic moment as a kid where i experienced like loss or like anything like that like in reality i'm totally fine now about it as i start crying almost no but um okay so i think we've talked about it on the pod so i don't who cares just fucking go for it no i just go ahead you don't remember it i'm sure i'm sure we've talked about it but the important part is that you're having a breakthrough now that i'm doing a different connection to yeah anyway okay so there was there was this girl i really liked her she was kind of the popular one of the popular girls for sure right like the pretty girl i don't know popular girl and i i i finally scheduled a day to go hang out with her which was like kind of crazy and i wasn't like a guy that like was talking to girls so this was a big deal and i asked alex i was like alex can you come with me to to help me with this girl like i really like her whatever then we went we hung out with her all day hung out in her basement which is like if you're hanging out a girl's basement it's like kind of like in high school it like really turns you on you're like i can't believe i'm down here it's like her inner sanctum that laundry machine it's like no it's like her parents are like a finished proper nice baby yeah because you're like separated like the parents don't know her parents are upstairs yeah you're being dirty little sluts doing nothing but just hanging out um and then we hung out on the trampoline and i remember like i was sitting on the trampoline alex was like jumping on up and down i was like fuck alex chill damn he's good at that um and then we laughed and then i remember we laughed and i texted her i was like i was like did you whatever what did you think or like i kind of like you whatever and then she was like and she said it pretty pretty exact to this she was like i think i kind of like your friend alex and she was that direct yeah super direct and then i was i think i i don't know if i even asked her how come or what happened or what but she was just like i just like really like an outgoing guy and he's just like super talkative and you're kind of shy and like it fuck that change yeah fuck you no i was doing it for you it like fucking killed me and i think that was like and that was like the first moment i like i really cried to my dad and like i was like sobbing to my dad and then i remember this was like a night i was crying and then the next morning i woke up and i like told myself i was like i'm never again will i ever do that like in front of my parents i was like fucking it freaked me out it's like what the fuck like how did i let myself go that much where i was crying that much and i think that like i think that's what did your dad say i turned to the dogs no he's my dad was great about it he was yeah yeah yeah so good but like i just i didn't like that i didn't go through it what you're good here you want the popsicle i don't know how i would have i think it was that he was so understanding that it freaked me out i think that's what this is a wild wild story really yeah it's explaining so much about you yeah you're so weird yeah and i think it was because he was like so i don't know i kind of i can't this isn't you should never parent your kids this way i did this but like i kind of wish he kind of threw it away more why are you so scared of your emotions i don't i'm not i'm not i don't know and why were you so he didn't do anything wrong i i don't know what's that weakness uh i don't know that i used to see it as weakness i used to be in church and i i used to get weirded out by the fact that me and my family all looked alike i used to say that i used to tell you this right yeah i don't know what it was but that sounds like a separate issue don't deflect no no stay on topic no that's all part of it that's all okay you all look alike that every family looks alike but i think it was like the the deep family getting close emotional things like freaked me out okay but what does that have to do with you guys looking alike that we're family oh so i see so maybe because you look alike you don't have any individuality i don't know is that what it is i feel like it's more like you're just like trying to push away you're like i my roots yeah your roots i think maybe like i was like in america like he was embarrassed to be a part of like this like foreign family i see that's right i remember that i think i was like i think i was like that's good not i wanted to be american they really wanted me to be slovak i think it's somewhere in between there that's like really unpacking i don't know what about your friend alex i fucked you over yeah so what he did no but i genuinely think like that's probably a big moment nat would you say um yeah i definitely would say i think that is the moment did you talk to me about it i don't remember us having any like no the first person i dressed it with with was my dad and then when i literally woke up the next morning i was like never again in my life am i doing that and i think i meant that for like everywhere all around i was like let me just chill with this shit the fuck was that um and wait what is your realization today well i think that that's where like like natalie will be like so confident in a random person i've never been cheated on in my life yes but i just don't i always expect that just kind of weird because that that that was like the same type of pain and i'm always like really scared of it because of that situation and now i'm scared of it because of that situation that's why you get jealous is that what we're talking about yeah like i'm insecure yeah yeah yeah he's insecure because he just thinks that like a woman's not gonna be loyal to him or she'll go for my friend oh well you're super hot friends you have hanging around here i know you want to fuck alex don't get me started on this really david texts me once a week you should you should really you should take a second look at alex he gets like super horny and i'm like he's right there i'm like there's only one always there's one other person that's like he's upstairs just knock on his door you have a horny gauge you have like a meter a horny meter well if we asked alex once it's like how many shots would it take to hook up with natalie i think this is where it started what did alex say one no i think i had two i told ilia like eight because no and then that and yeah that's and then i told you like one it's really funny so like yeah i could see this potentially but yeah i could see this so i think that's where i connect that too and i was you just want me to move back in here brother yeah well yeah that'd be really sick um but yeah no i was really proud of putting all that together yeah that's good wait i feel like we on i feel like we unpacked that like a while ago i think we unpacked half of it and i just connected the rest you think you could be in a relationship and not be jealous no really yeah really you i've i've i mean the type of person you are all you've accomplished in your life you don't have the confidence to be like oh yeah i'm me i'm i'm the shit i don't i don't know i don't ever worry about naveen cheating ever ever i don't know and if she did like i don't figure it out you know what i mean yeah that's crazy to me why al are you like that like if you're you've never had a relationship which is so fucking crazy i probably would be pretty paranoid yeah i don't know and natalie's like that too i'm talking to the two most not scared of cheating people in our friend group i think because they have dated a lot so they you get over that fear the more you date i assume but if someone's gonna cheat on you it's like that's on them yeah that's what natalie says too natalie goes like well then that relationship was never for me and i'm like that's like really strong great way to look yeah yeah like how do you like how can you possibly that is the healthiest way to look at it one thousand percent like how did you get there well because i'm a prize like if you don't want this prize like somebody else one thousand percent wants to be with me you know so like you were never like meant to i guess be my person like if you want to but i don't look at it that way i look at it as like i love this person and like this is my person i love this person but someone that loves you would never do that to you no i get that but also like i don't want to have to fucking restart after i'm well yeah that definitely sucks i i used to be like you i had but i've had so many times in my life where i've liked a girl she didn't like me back and at one point i was just like no more no fucking more i will never give someone man or woman whatever i'm into ever i knew it i knew you slept with that guy in new york i fucking knew it damn i just came out if you reference this story there's rumors that jason had sex with a man in new york because he's been denying it for a really long time my best friend yeah oh is that him but brian is that jeff oh brian no jeff's brian we called him right yeah brian we asked him if you had sex with him yeah but you texted him before and you're like brian just deny um wait yeah and then we had him on the show and then he called me and he's like you can't use that he's like you can't use it and then we got vincent marcus to redo it word for word that's really funny and i remember being so stressed about it like oh my god this is such a good bit um anyway but i just i refuse to let people have that power over me no way no fucking way it is such wasted energy to be like you can't control what someone's gonna do so it's just like that's another person and it's just like you have to just be like okay there's no fucking way no it's just the worst place to put yourself in like if i remember pining after girls when i was younger like oh my god she doesn't like me but is that like when you're is that when you're crushing or when you're in a relationship both oh both you're in a relationship and you're like oh come on won't you like me too and it's just fucking turning the girl off the more you try no you know what i mean words i've heard and i appreciate and i also dish out to people like i say the same thing yeah like if they're not if they're not giving you any time it's like that's like everybody anybody can make time for anybody they love like period and if they're not giving you the time like what are you gonna do but it's like it's harder to like live it do you ever think about um getting a girlfriend yeah but do you think you're damned with no girlfriend after you stole that girl from me maybe maybe that's where it is holy shit i i find it odd that there's like a lot of people in like your age that like don't have girlfriends that don't have boyfriends it's weird how fucking common it is here well in la yeah yeah but like everyone in our hometown yeah oh my god yeah if you're not with somebody like if you're not with somebody like if you're not with somebody like you're forever person by the time you're you're forever person by the time you're you're forever person by the time you're 28 like 25 you're weirdo 28 like 25 you're weirdo 28 like 25 you're weirdo yeah and how is dating going yeah and how is dating going yeah and how is dating going not great oh she just waits for me to not great oh she just waits for me to not great oh she just waits for me to hook up with someone i like her you're going on a date this i like her you're going on a date this i like her you're going on a date this week right there week right there week right there she is mine now she is mine now she is mine now um still doing it yeah yeah i mean it's still going for the same old habits tale as old as time wow old habits die hard why don't you two just be together honestly we may have to at this point but yeah well that's something I figured out I don't know I'm telling you dating is tough and Natalie and Alex will soon find out that they are the perfect match for each other maybe you gotta start dating Natalie and then that's how I get in I have to sleep with the both of you and figure out how much we love each other wow you guys aren't all fucking each other and you haven't told me right I wish Jay okay good we were talking about that actually yesterday yeah cause our friend John's brother yeah had sex with someone like in Reggie had sex with someone like in whatever had sex with a guy in like one of our rooms rooms yeah and i was like that's so cool like could you imagine if we were all gay me john alex who lives together and we're like done playing cod every time we're done playing cod we come we meet in the living room and like debrief yeah we walk out of our rooms and there's a middle living room between all our rooms and we all come and sit down on the couch and we talk about what we could have done better during call of duty it's really fun yeah i'm like just imagine in that moment after we're done talking we're like okay time to make each other come oh this is why this is why because because reggie said you could debrief while you're fucking because reggie said when he hooked up with the guy they like took turns giving each other blowjobs yeah and i'm like that's so great like being gay is like it's literally like you know exactly what the guy wants and you guys just do it flip-flop and then go on your way and just do it midday it's like it's the same as like jerking off it's really really funny i don't know so like if there's any maybe you should unpack that you no i can't i'm not i'm not gay but i just i do admire i do admire the lifestyle yeah i'm very jealous that you just get a girlfriend you know yeah but you can't like i'm talking about fucking the bros i'm not talking about like having sex with a girl it's completely different and there's no like i'm not gonna get jealous after i give john a handjob like i'm not gonna be like oh who you who you meet up with now do you know i mean it was funny yesterday you uh you're you put on that cologne you go give me the perfume and i go it's it's cologne yeah and then taylor and nat go no it's perfume it's chocolate by serena carpenter and i was like what and i'm in the front seat with you and i was like i start smelling it and i'm like that is perfume well it is perfume yeah yeah it is perfume but i don't know it's just like it's odd that you put on chocolate by serena carpenter i didn't have any perfume with me and i was like this is the nearest thing i had but it's a it's for it's a female smell yeah but i i felt like i wasn't smiling at the time i was like oh my god i'm not gay i'm not so i was like i need to put perfume on or like anything if it was cologne i would have been kind of a cologne sure sure no i know but i just wouldn't grab if i grab perfume we were in the car there's nothing else to grab like you'd rather smell bad then i would just smell yeah i would just be without perfume oh yeah i don't know i don't you think that's weird now no i always apply i'd rather smell good yeah i'll always what it's like you'd rather smell like uh like you have perfume on that's like the most weirdest masculine thing i've ever heard you say something i would expect from ilia yeah you like what from me perfume yeah definitely you should smell like fucking flowers of her body ilia said it you would respect it but if i say it you don't is that what you said i would expect it from oh expect no if ilia said it we'd be like oh he's a douchebag like obviously he's saying oh but it's like no i i would i would be self-conscious that i was smelling like sabrina carpenter what yeah someone's gonna go like most guys would actually agree with jay what someone's gonna go you smell like flowers that's such a better compliment you smell like guys this is a crazy yeah break this uh i mean you're definitely on my side for this please no no no no don't don't poison her let her come up with her own thing she's a woman i know she's gonna say let her be let her say her own thing let her use her mind it's so sexy david's right thank you oh bullshit it's his birthday jay we gotta let him be my birthday week what'd you guys get me i got you something and i'm like afraid to give it to you because it's not very good okay give it to me on camera though because i'm making like a little birthday vlog okay it's gonna be a montage mike gave me a birthday gift two days early fucking i was so weird so weird it was so funny too it was such a good gift have you seen it yeah what was it i was so pissed i i want to show you guys on camera so i get your reaction i was like why did you just hand this to me this is so great maybe he didn't want to be filmed no i don't i just don't think he thought it was like that good but like that's exactly the type of thing so i find that good really funny i'm so pissed i'm gonna i'll show you guys but on camera you won't think it's great but like i thought it was great because it has something to do with what we do but um so what'd you guys get me who do you think here has the best gift and if you didn't get me i think it's okay but i think i'm second but mine's coming pretty well did everybody get you gifts yeah it's kind of weird no one talked like we never get you anything yeah well i think it's my 30th yeah it's gonna wait now what'd you get me um my gift will be arriving today is it thoughtful is it expensive um i'm obviously not gonna say anything but she's using yeah wow i really like thoughtful gifts but obviously love expensive gifts you know mine's gonna be thoughtful that's really funny i wrote you a card wait it's wait it's coming today it's coming today like like today we're like we have to film it today receive your gift today coming today like with four wheels and a steering wheel yeah four wheels and a spoiler is it stuck in traffic right now um oh so i i open it today oh can i record it yeah for the vlog will scan be here i mean scan will be here all day but yeah i told them that it's coming at a certain time wow blindfolded yeah yeah oh my god i love it i'm so excited wow okay well guys tune in to next week's pod guys do you guys want to see a full birthday vlog that sounds like a stupid question of course they do bro okay i just i we don't film a lot on my birthday so i just want to make sure that like i don't know why you wouldn't do that okay yeah i guess i guess i'll just film throughout the whole birthday i mean get like little moments of like tay setting up not yeah yeah i'll start filming like the thing you lost for the business vlog yeah get that well guys leave a comment down below of who you think is gonna have the best gift for me dude i gotta go to the store i'm kidding i'm kidding store i don't have to empty out my fucking bank account remember when remember when ilia and i had this thing ilia told me he's like we should start getting each other nice gifts for our birthdays yeah and then i got him a watch yeah and then my birthday came around he's like i thought we called that off i was like regardless you still owe me one so pissed um all right guys well it's all the time we have for today's podcast thank you guys for listening and we'll see you for the next one when i'm 30 this is my last podcast as a 29 year old get ready for serious thoughts after happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday dear david bye

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