David's Birthday Gone Haywire

(upbeat music) - What's up guys, we'll back to views. We are back with another podcast. This time, I'm 30. - Ew, boy. - Shut up. - And in a mood. - I'm not in the mood. - Yes, you're wrong. - No, I'm not. Natalie thinks I'm in a mood when I'm in a good mood. - There's a no shot. - You're in a good mood right now. - I said I woke up in a great mood. Natalie gave me a look, the side I looked like. - She gave you a side I, she literally said out loud. She's like, it's gonna be a fun one today. - Why, yeah, it's not the guys. - I don't even know what's not a side I. - Well, what's going on? - Nothing. - I'm literally not in a mood. I'm actually, I woke up in an incredible mood. - Oh good, good. - That's when. - That's the worst is when you're in a good mood. - No, everyone's saying it about it. - Me and Natalie do that all the time. - Yeah. - It's the same thing. - It's just the thing we do. - No, it's not the thing we do. This isn't just me and you Natalie. I do this with a lot of people. It's like, Ilya, it's like me and Ilya. If he's in a good mood, I can't be in a good mood. - Hell yeah. - Do you know what I mean? - What's that? - What? - What is that? - You're crazy bro. - You've never noticed that. How many times does Ilya want to go out and I don't want to go out? It's like we want the other person. - I say. - I don't know what it is. - He came down the stairs today. This is David and a good man. He came down the stairs today and threw socks at my head. That was a free, didn't say hi, didn't say. - Is that not actually good mood? - If I wasn't in a good mood, I would just come down and sit quietly. I threw socks at her. - Oh yeah, yeah. - I used energy to interact with her. - And use her head as a. - There's a sock. - Yeah, yeah. - And then I went to Target. - And then I went to go dapp up Taylor. Like genuinely, how could I not be in a more weird way? - Nacket sock stoner in her head. Taylor gets a dapp. - No, no. - That's. How about I want to show you that? Why don't you reverse it? - Well first of all, the sock missed because it wasn't like. - Throw the socks at Brooke. - There wasn't enough cloth in it. So it couldn't fly like fast enough. - Why don't you speak with Brooke and say from now on, I'm gonna get Natalie a break this week. I'll be throwing socks at your head. - I mean, she's not. - Brooke is so much more chill than Natalie. Natalie just misreads me every time. Every time I'm in a good mood, she thinks I'm a bad mood. And then that puts me in a bad mood. 'Cause she's not, she doesn't put me in a bad mood. Because like, because she's like putting it on me, I get upset that I'm friends with someone so stupid that I can't read a person's mood. - Oh my God. - That's when I get upset. - But don't you think that she's got years of experience on you and she's probably tried every method? - She doesn't. - She doesn't have years. - Years of experience, Jay, when it comes to people's mood, doesn't matter. Because still, Natalie has how many years of experience with herself, almost 30 years. But still has to go on walks when she gets the mildest inconvenience in her life. That is a woman with no experience. - I see. - So it doesn't really matter. It doesn't matter how many years she's been around. She still gets upset and has to go tamping you off in the woods. - And what are some of the things that you've learned as a way to deal with David? What are your best, best tech? Like if you had to leave-- - You never? - Let's say you were leaving tomorrow and there was a new person coming in. What would you tell them? - Oh God. - Good luck, girl. - I said a prayer. (laughing) - No, I just, like when he's in a mood like this, you just don't engage, you disengage. - I see. - What's a mood like this? - Where you're just like-- - In a good mood. You're like this guy, in a good, you just can't. - Where you're like combative. Like everything is like, you're gonna make everything, whether you're having fun with it, whatever, honestly, that pisses me off more. If you're like-- - Exactly, you see that? - But that's not, it hasn't happened today. But I understand that when that does happen. - That's happening right now. I threw a sock. - Now it's happening, yeah. - Okay, if I'm in a bad mood. - Yeah. - Do I come down and throw a sock at you? I don't even look at you. - Yeah. - Yeah. - You didn't look at me. - You did throw a sock and you walked away. - I aimed it, I missed. - You haven't thrown socks at me in years. - Yeah. - Yeah, so you must not like me at all. - So you have to think about that. - Yeah. (laughing) - I'm gonna pack that. - I'm gonna pack. - Can we stop saying I'm pack, please? (laughing) - I don't know. - I don't know, whatever. I don't wanna get into it. I'm 30 now. I don't have time for fucking. It's like, wimpy shit here to conversate about feelings. - Do you have any thoughts on being 30? - Or do you not care? - No. - Yeah, you're just like, whatever. - It does suck to say I'm 30. - Why? - 'Cause I told you the couple of hours ago, I was getting excited when I would say I'm 29. - Yeah. - And people would be like, "You're not even 30 yet?" And now when I say I'm 30, people are gonna be like, "Oh, okay, yeah." Like now, it's just like, I probably appear 30. - No, you look about 12. (laughing) - And act about that. - But I'm-- - It is crazy. It's like a new chapter. You are in your 30s. - I know, it's kind of crazy. - It's like real. It's kind of freaky. It makes me nauseous. Watch Mr. Nobody yesterday. Have you seen that movie? - No. - Oh, you should watch that movie. I think-- - Who's in it? - Jared Leto. - Okay. - Diane Krueger. - Okay. - Who I love. - What's it about? - It's about this guy who has, I, first of all, used to be one of my favorites, growing up. - Yeah. - And I didn't even watch it in like over five years. And I've just realized it's okay. So it's about a guy who has three different choices to make in life. - Okay. - It shows how each of those choices affect his life. - It's like a fantasy movie about time, about relationships. - You love time movies. - Then relationships. - Yeah. - And this movie, you guys, people listening, should go watch it. - Okay. - 'Cause my friends didn't really love it, but I was shocked at how much I've stolen from it my entire life. Like if you watch it, I don't think Natalie picked this up, but like I picked it up because I know me a little bit better. I was like, I have stolen so much from this movie. Like what? - And like who I am today. And I just like very, very little things. And just like-- - Coin flipping in the movie is a big thing. - Coin flipping is a big one. That's where I learned coin flipping. - Okay. - It's like make decisions. - I see, I see. - But like, there's like really little, I don't know. I just, I really wanted to bring it up on the podcast 'cause I really wanted to have that be my next movie rack. - Would you say that that movie is like the most you movie out of any movie? - No, I think about time. - About time, yeah. What about you now? What's your most movie? What's your most not movie? - That's a two-way. - That's a two-way. - Which is it? - Which is it? - Lucifer's cave. - It's not a movie, but it would be. - I love Lucifer's cave. - Kung Fu Panda 3. - Sorry, within half the way. - So weird now. You have such a long-- - Did you say Kung Fu Panda? - Kung Fu Panda 3? - That's it. - Your life is nothing like Kung Fu Panda. - Kung Fu Panda 3 is my life. - Oh, 'cause Kung Fu Panda loves stories to eat. - That is true. - Now there's a weird thing with animated movies. Like, she'll wanna leave and I'll want her to stay. - Yeah. - And then all I have to say is like, but I'm gonna watch how to train your dragon. - Oh my god. - And that's what you got, aren't you? - And then it literally turns her around. It's really weird. I don't feel that way about animated movies at all. - It just like brings out like, I feel like my life is so like rigid and like adult, you know? Like I'm always just like, and I feel like when I watch an animated like Pixar movie, it just like, it's like comforting. - For me, I get that, but I don't get it. Like I get like watching a brand new toy story movie, but I don't get it like rewatching over and over again. - I don't really watch them over and over again. - What's your comfort movie? - Except for comfort and over again. - Good fillers are the departed, 'cause like-- - That feels like you. - It's like Boston, it's like the guy in good fillers looks like my dad. - Who? - Raleota. - Oh, oh yeah, I can see that. - Yeah, it's a little intense. Wow, all our movies speak about ourselves. - Yeah. - Who Panda, 'cause the big ass panda. (all laughing) - Jays. - Couple of bad is really great though. At least we've been one of them. - Three, specifically, is so fucking funny. - I haven't seen it, but apparently it has like one of the most justified villains in all of fiction. - Kung Fu being a three? - Which one has the tiger, that's really. - Yeah, there's a tiger. - Yeah. - Yeah, apparently it looks one of the most justified villains. - What does it mean justified? - Like he's angry for a reason. Like it like makes sense to like anybody watching. - Oh, yeah. - Like it's like I would have a crash out too. I've only, I've never seen the movie, but this is what people say about it. Like I would have a crash out too if I trained my entire life to be blah, blah, blah in this position, but this panda took it. - Oh. - Is that true? - I don't think that's true. - Oh, maybe you haven't even watched it. Maybe you fucking bring it. - No, it's been a while, but. - Gonna wrap around the complexity of Kung Fu Panda 3. What else is new, guys? - That was the party. - It was a party for an hour. - I had a great time. - I'm gonna recap. I think I'm gonna try to show it in the vlog of how it went, but yeah, we had my 30th birthday. It was 30. It was like a life lesson. - It was like a life lesson. - Oh, that's very good. - Yeah. - Yeah, there was some snafu's. - What snafu's? - Some problems. - Yeah, so. - Nothing crazy, but just technological. - Well, it's crazy when you're like, it's crazy. Pretty crazy. - Stuff happens. - No, there's fucking an explosion. - But in terms of party fouls, it's probably the top. - I showed my cock on stage. - And that was it. - No, it was the top, please. - Party foul, about two hours into the party. When Snoop got on stage, he got for about eight seconds and then the power went out to the whole party. It's like every single light. House went dark and the generator blew. And they thought that they could get it back up. And they couldn't. - They could not. - People kept telling me. Snoop's coming back. - Everyone kept saying that, everyone kept saying that. - Natalie came up to me and Natalie was like, I need more money. I'm like, what? She's like, give me more cash. I'm like, no. And she's like, give me more cash. And I'm like, for watch, she's like so snoop. I'm like, no, snoop should go home. It's over. I was like so upset. But Natalie's like, and then Snoop decided to stay. - Yeah. - And I went into his green room, which was the prize fix, Jim. And I went in there and I'm like, I was like, what are you still doing here? He's like, we're rocking with you, we're waiting for it. - Yeah, he's so funny. - He's so funny, he's so nice. And I had to tell, I was like, please just go home, 'cause it stresses me out when a celebrity's waiting for something like performance like that. So I was like, I said, I was like, you could stay, but it's the performance, we're not gonna do it. So please go home whenever you want. - Oh wow. - It's kind of over, but he still stayed for like 45 minutes, and they could not get it till the rest of time. So we left and we went to the club. - Oh wow. - So it was definitely, out of all our parties, it was the biggest. - I like what you said, life lesson. - Yeah, it was very like, okay. - Bring two generators, was that the lesson you learned? - No, it's also like, why are you having a birthday party? - Oh, right. - David doesn't want to have parties anymore. - Yeah. - Okay. - I don't know, it's just too stressful. It's like, why don't we just like go out? I don't know. - Yeah, that makes sense. - Yeah. - It was really funny, like, we obviously booking the artists is like probably the most difficult part of like the entire event process. And I've been told we did not have an artist books. - Oh, oh, and we had Sammy Adams come out. - Yeah. - Which was, so Sammy Adams sings in Vegas and in, in, in, in, in. ♪ All night longer ♪ - Couple rounds going down. - A great song. - Yeah, which I love. - A banging song that never, it's just. - Which I've only used it for a vlog once. But it feels like I've used it like a lot of times. - Really, you've only used it once? - I think it's only when we take Jonah and Susie and their parents to Vegas. - Yeah. - I don't actually know, but I was really excited for him to play on stage because that was gonna be the vlog. It was gonna be that song. - Yeah. - Now we don't have a single shot of him 'cause he never got on stage 'cause the power went out. So, and, and not only that, but he flew out from Boston, like a couple days early just to come do this. - Yeah. - And he was also really nice about it. And Ellie was like, we're so sorry. And he was like, it's totally fine, don't worry. But like, I don't know, I just, yeah, it didn't go, it didn't go right. - Right. - And, and I was like, I was telling, I was like, I'm shocked that so many did go right. Like, I don't know. Every party, every party would end and we'd all debrief like in the living room after it. We'd be like, that was the best one. - Yeah. - And it was just like a little picture, perfect town. And everything was just like, that was so fun. Everybody was just like, and this is the first one where I was like, oh, okay, I finally have a ranking system for these now. This is at the bottom, right? And then everything else, yeah. - And booking the artist was so stressful. - Yeah, and it was, we also had like a lot of friends that flew out and like a lot of people. We work with that also our friends. It was just like, it just was sad in that regard that it didn't, whatever. - And you didn't get like a 30th birthday moment on stage or anything, right? Or did I miss that? - No, I don't really like that. - Sometimes you go up on stage, right? And everyone seems to have your day. - Well, I actually did go on stage. - Yeah, he was on stage. - Because like I normally, when like the power goes out, I go panic in my room. - Right. - But I was drunk where I was like, oh my god, they were fucked. So then I just went on stage. I was like, maybe if I go on stage, like the power will turn back on like a minute, I just have to like buy a minute with Snoop. - Right. - 'Cause I don't want like Snoop standing there on his own. - Yeah. - So I went up there and then people saying happy birthday and then I was like, oh wait, the power is still not off. So I quickly- - Oh wait, I was drunk, I did see that. - So I could be receded. - You're right. But yeah. - But what I was trying to say was, before he interrupted me. Looking at the artist, we called Snoop's team like a day before. And I was like, because the other artists, all of them had fallen through, weren't coming, weren't gonna do it, whatever. And then- - Fall-out boy was so in for you guys, please. - Yeah. - Come through. But I called his team and he was like, you know what? For friends and family, Snoop's always down. You got the cash, Snoop loves the cash, she'll be there. - She'll be there. - And it was just like a phone call that was just so cliche of like, this is exactly how Snoop's team, exactly how you would expect Snoop's team to handle like a thing like that. It was so funny. And they love David, obviously. And he just announced like his new movie, his new biopic is coming out on Snoop. - Who's playing Snoop? Why are kids out here? - Yeah, the guy from Outer Banks. - Really? - Yeah. - Oh wow. - It's playing him. But that's what they were like excited. And they were like, we're gonna come with Dave. He had the Snoop's tickle, like all of his little products. It was so funny. - But he was a good sport about it. - How's the Snoop'sicle? - Really good. - What is it? - It's a Snoop'sicle. - It's great. - I don't even know if it's called the Snoop'sicle. - Yeah, it is, it is. - Really? - Yeah, yeah. - Oh. - Do you get to try it? - Yeah, I got to try it. And I was like, what flavor is this? - You're big, it's a popsicle stew. - That's what I said. - You're like the right guy. - Yeah, I was definitely the right guy for that. - I mean, you're a popsicle guy. - And I was like, what flavor is this? And then Snoop started reading off the packaging. He's like, oh, this one is blue rice and cherry. And I was like, Snoop, is this your first time trying the popsicle? He has so many products, he has so many products. So it's like, but it was actually an incredible popsicle. I don't know if the green room was like warm where it was like melted to the perfect amount, but oh God, I loved it. Yeah, other than that, my favorite phrase is, other than that, how is the play Mrs. Lincoln? And it was pretty good. You can know that phrase, Jay? - Yeah. - Did I-- - How surprised do you know it? - I think I told you that one, or did you learn it from a while ago? - I think I learned it. - Really? - I think I learned it before. - Now, do you know that phrase? Other than that, how is the play Mrs. Lincoln? - I've heard of it. - Abraham Lincoln got assassinated in a theater. So it's like, you know, other than him getting killed, what do you think of the play? I just love that. I love that, I love that, I love that, love that. It was good, but yeah, now I'm 30. Now I'm moving on to new and better things. - Like what? - It's kind of crazy to think about like, this is the decade I may get married in. - Yeah. - We also went to a wedding. - Yeah. - We went to a wedding. If you watch my last vlog, our friend Alita, who works at Paramount, there's a beautiful wedding at the St. Regis. - No, Ritz Carlton. - I'm gonna keep mixing those two up. Ritz Carlton in Laguna, something out of a movie. I've never viewed California as like, a pretty place. - I know that. - On the water. - That overlooks, right? It's way high up and it overlooks the water. - That Ritz Carlton is like, equivalent to like an Italy vibe. Do you know what I mean? - Yeah. - Like it feels like I flew in from a different country to view it. Like when I think of California, I think of like Venice Beach. And I'm like, this is dirty. You shouldn't even swim in it. Or like the beach is like filled with like trash. But like this is like, this place was fucking something out of like a film. The wedding was great. They've known each other for a year and they got married. - Wow. - They had their last day. It's kind of similar to you and to you and to me. - Yeah. - Yeah, they got. They had their first date like a year from the marriage. - Yeah, from the wedding. - Or from the wedding. How crazy is that to think? That like Natalie could meet someone in a week. - Yeah. - And in a year from today, we could be sitting at her wedding. Like that's a fucking crazy concept. - It's crazy. - I don't know. - I have a bone to pick with you. - Oh, go. - A boner? - A boner, yeah. - No, so I saw something. I have a confession. - Yeah. - I saw something, a screenshot in your phone. I was like going through something for analytics, whatever. And you've messaged a guy that I've been speaking to. - It's not a bitch. - Oh. - And. - It's not a bitch. You caught that? - You caught that. - I caught that. - I got to stay out of her love life, man. - Oh. (laughing) - Wow, this is actually a good one. - Yeah, I was, and I, so I saw it like over a week ago, or whenever, probably when you first did it. - Damn, so when it worked. - Yeah, well, okay, but this is what I did. - It's so funny, 'cause people right now are probably like, damn, David's jealous. He told this guy to fuck off. (laughing) - No, no, no. So I saw, I was going through your phone, and I saw a screenshot of you sending a DM saying, "Hey, do you want to come surprise Natalie?" Let's say this guy that I've been talking to, that doesn't live here. - Can we say where he's from? - No. - Okay, okay. - And I saw that, and my heart's like, I swiped out of it immediately. So it's like, fuck, I ruined this prize. And I actually, like, you know, it could have been-- - It would have been so funny. - It would have been funny, but I'm-- - It would, it-- - I think all it didn't happen. - Really? - Yes. - What did it have ruined your night? You ever had so much fun. - I don't think it would have ruined my night. I just know you would have vlogged it, and I wouldn't want it to be vlogged. - Oh, yeah, I would have vlogged it for sure. - Yeah. But then I was like, then I just pretend like I never saw it. I was like, I'm just going to pretend like I never saw it. Like, is it if it happens, it happens, whatever. And then it was just eating me up all week, I was like, I need to know if he's coming, and I've asked your Instagram. So I just went, and I've done ask, never go on your Instagram. By the way, I just did it for this one. - Yeah, right. - But I went and looked at the message, and thank God he hasn't seen it yet. Like, he doesn't have, he doesn't look at his messages or something. - Yeah, you're like, you, first of all, you can't DM him. - Yeah. - So I had to follow him, and I don't think he's like accepted my follow or anything. So the message isn't getting through. - Yeah. - Yeah, I was texting with Halley and Brooke, who worked with us. I was like, we have to make the surprise happen. We got to fly this guy out. - Oh my God. - And they're like, I shouldn't send the message. - No, I shouldn't send it now. - Oh, I didn't touch it. I just wanted to see if he replied, and if it was like in motion. Because I was like, it also just would not be like, it wouldn't be good. - Why? - All right, I think it would be so fun. Okay, this is like a guy that now, he's been like, now he's been like, I just really need to get fucked. Should I just fly this guy out? I mean, that's the type of shit you say. That's literally actually how you speak is really weird. Yeah, exactly like that. - Wow. - I've never heard anybody talk like that, but it's like. - What? - But like, I don't hear women talk like that, like in real life. - But I just say that to you, because that's how you talk. I don't talk like that, just like out to the general public. - Okay, right. Well, anyway. - You don't shame her. - Totally, you don't. - No, no, no, I thought I was inspiring. That's why I acted on it. - Oh my God. - It was like, okay, maybe like she really needs to like, and she like, really liked this guy. She just like does. doesn't want any she doesn't want this in a different country. Yeah, she doesn't want this guy to like She's down to hang out with him But you also like doesn't be tied to him for the full weekend. He's here. I say we've been talking about this guy No, it's not even that. Yeah, we've definitely talked about him, but it he also he messages me. Yeah Once a week at least like these sweetest most heart like he's foreign And like he's just like a little like lover and he is just like in love. Oh, oh, he's really sweet But he's younger than me lives in a different country like There's a multiple things working against him in this thing in this instance So it's not gonna happen and yeah, but that's why I would have been like such a good like middleman because I'd be like Listen, she doesn't know your comments. So like you have to get a hotel. Yeah, and like I'm she's really busy But that one night would be really fun that you surprise her. Yeah, I think it'll work perfectly I mean, did you hook up with anyone on my birthday? No, you were with Mike and Nick fucking playing pool till like five in the morning It's funny. I had that conversation. We were all like we were sitting on the couch Alex, and I and I don't know who else someone else It was single and I was just like isn't it great like I just I Would have hated to have like met a guy you know like I or just in general when I go out like I feel like a lot of people go out to meet people Obviously, and I let us never my intention when I go out like I'm going out to hang out with my friends and like have fun Yeah, and like if there's a cute guy there sure whatever like you talk, but I just Not really honestly, but I But I just I don't know like I was like I'm never like I just don't I feel like maybe it's because I'm so comfortable It's like my people in my life that I just like don't put myself out there in that regard, but I'm just I cannot imagine an a scenario where that is just gonna like happen one day where I'm just gonna meet somebody Well, you have you met that guy with the penis the size of a coke can Yeah, thank you for that. Yeah So big yeah, how's that possible? Anyways, I just wanted to cement this here right here right now if you are You cannot fly out men and surprise me with them for the vlog. Thank you No, I think that would be like the perfect like I'm so pissed. He did it. I'm so pissed He didn't he would be so sad if he knew that like he missed your DM Really, I don't even know how that's possible how he missed it like this guy was like really he's so offline Yeah, he doesn't like post doesn't do anything. I mean is this now like the perfect guy for you, Nat Like if you lived here probably see a lot younger Yeah, he's like four years younger than me five years younger than me. Not that much Well, but he's foreign so that gives him a couple years. Yeah I don't know Natalie. It's tough. He's like 24 I think Everybody I go for is 24 it's actually crazy. Well cuz you're a lot of people you're already married Well, I know thank you. Thank you. You have to start going for people that are recently divorced Where we are all I'm trying that age bracket hang out at the law office stop the street as they walk out Yeah, that's pretty good actually. Just have a little cup of coffee How did you no longer married? I'd love to get fucked What else are we talking about? I went to the ER yesterday. Oh, fun. What happened? Have you heard her neck? I went to the ER went to a Burbank got in there. She's like in a lot of pain So I'm like trying to get her to go get get seen quickly, you know, Sky and Scrubs walks up. Oh shit He's like, hello, hello, and I'm like, hey, hey And he's like what's going on? And I'm like my wife. She's got Shooting pain down her right side. Is there is there any way you can see her? She's in so much pain like can you can you you know make sure she gets seen as soon as possible? And then he's like he goes me to me too. I have shooting pain down my left side like that and I'm like What and he's in scrubs. Yeah, he's in scrubs. Yeah, so I'm like, okay I'm like Wait, do you work here? And he's like yes. Yes. I work here and I was like, okay I was like are you a doctor? And he's like no, no, no, no, I'm not a doctor He's like, but I was just in Africa and I have a shooting pain down the left side and I have the I might have Ebola like that so I'm like Ebola. So now I'm like, what the fuck wait, what so it turns out So then I find out that like oh, he doesn't work there. He's just in scrubs and he's fucking crazy So he also gets it and then he um I go outside to park the car and he comes he walks by Naveen and in Arabic says You're right because he's he's he's Middle Eastern and he goes your eyes are beautiful in Arabic So I come back in she's all freaked out He's like he's saying your eyes are beautiful in Middle Eastern and he keeps walking by us and Naveen's flipping out Naveen's running around the emergency almost guy. He's just crazy And so then we I finally tell him I go can you just please leave her alone like don't talk to her and he's like, okay, okay I'll leave her alone then the security guard comes over to him and Goes empty your empty your double bag empty your double bag and the guy goes no no, I won't I won't empty my double bag and he goes empty your double bag right now And he goes okay He insists this double bag and he had taken all the pens in the emergency room It took like 400 pens All the little crafts of pens that it put out like a little circle each each one has like 12 pens in it and The guy confiscated the pens and then he started screaming and then that was it Okay, what is this a real story? And is this like I bet that's you get for going to the emergency room like in Hollywood in Burbank I mean everybody was nuts. Do you think he had Ebola? No, he definitely wasn't and I don't think he was in Africa. I think he's just fucking nuts, but he's wearing scrubs That's really scary. Yeah, that's really scary. So put off by but anyway, how are the shooting pains? She's okay. We went this morning to a different doctor. We got to go back. What's the diagnosis? She says like a pinch nerve in her neck Yeah, Scott was gonna come to the birthday party, but yeah, why not? What happened to me? I can't walk again I was like, yeah, did you see you if Scott Sire guys had like surgery on his knee or was like yeah, he has like he like the biggest hole in it Do you see that story? Yeah, that fucking He posted it was like it was like it was like a pixel missing from his leg. Yeah, like it was just a black hole in his leg Like someone forgot to draw it in it's crazy. He's getting better now, but he couldn't couldn't walk for the longest time from From lifting it's yeah from over time like running let's squatting down his knees. So I don't exercise So we just continue like we're in the middle. Yeah, did you I've been see no no no no Let's address that you tapped out yesterday. It's gonna confuse people. It doesn't confuse people guys This is recorded on a second day here. It's this Tuesday. We're recording. Well, you hurt so far. It was Monday Yes, it's easy to get I tapped out yesterday. I couldn't finish the pod because you had to play guess who with Taylor Did you see the guess who or are you just are you just yeah? I noticed I wasn't in the pictures. You were in the pictures I was yeah, one of the one of the questions was is this person currently out of shape And she said no so I had to put you down. I got like guess who bored That my that Julian John made me yeah, and all the characters on the guess who are like friends And some celebrities so to be like Natalie Portman Leo be like Jason Zane Heath Ilya it'll be really yeah, it's for your birthday. Yeah, so I play that for like in a hour yesterday with Taylor so fun after the podcast After the podcast you finish after dealing with Natalie. I wasn't gonna need to take some time But I'm glad you guys are back because I've been wanting to talk to you guys have a lot to say first of all Madison beer is engaged I know how crazy is that do just in her birth her quarterback has I mean, it's like a perfect relationship. It's crazy He's a quarterback. Yeah, so how was he play for I think the chargers. Yeah, that's nice team San Diego. Oh, no, they're in LA Oh, they're in LA, but that's pretty cool. That was kind of shocking to me. Okay, that she didn't choose you. No, no Not that they're married, but like That like someone in LA is married, I'm like fuck. Yeah, it's great. It like Madison being married is like it goes to get everything I've been saying What did you feel when you saw that she's did you did you have like a like a little pain in your chest when you saw the announcement or Did she tell you or did you see it? I was watching Pirates of the Caribbean and she called me and only I don't pick up for people she called you to tell you yeah I didn't know you guys were close like that normally. I don't pick up for people during but I think I picked up on the first ring I was like what's going on because I was like something's going on. Okay, and then she's like quickly go under your covers And I went under the covers and then she showed me her ring. I couldn't believe it Pretty fucking crazy like I'm so jealous and what both of them like individually for fighting love and I actually look like really they like Fit each other absolutely perfectly Sure, it's like the Homecoming King Queen. Well, like what happens now? Yeah, homecoming King Queen. Yeah, like what happens now? They just spend life together? Yeah, she's probably gonna like have a kid. Yeah! - I'm like a hot athletic singer kid. - Yeah. - Like come on. She couldn't have written it better. - That's nice. - Poppy's saying I'm happy for her. - Mary's quarterback, good for her. - Yes. - Anyway, I had nightmares all the time. - You could have that too. - Really? - Yeah. You could have that too. You could marry a quarterback. - Yeah, that's funny. Was that not a joke? You actually want me to be a quarterback? - I was testing you to see for like really? - Yeah, Jay, I guess I could. I was reading some things on TikTok yesterday. This is kind of like fucked up, but there's this whole comment section talking about how to like fuck up. Okay, so basically it all started with a comment saying, "If a hotel charges me to park, I am running the water 24/7." So like to get back at the hotel. And then all the comments under it are ways to get back at the hotel. - Okay. - And it's like really fucked up. And someone said, "You guys know nothing about how to damage property, long term. You have to inject raw egg with a syringe into soft furniture and beds. The smell will appear only a few days impossible to get rid of. Total change of furniture." And then somebody said this one. This is the craziest one. Worst diabolical thing I've ever saw it was in college 20 something years ago. Listen to this, this is fucking disgusting. Someone took a giant shit in a plastic bag, froze it and used gloves and a cheese grater and graded it all over the house of someone he had beef with. - Oh my God. - And then you wait for that to unfreeze and now you have little shit particles all over the house. - Oh my God. - How fucking crazy is that? - That's so mean. - It shouldn't be allowed to type that. - These people should go to prison. They're sick in the night. - That's like, I mean, that is like, that's a fuck, obviously definitely a crime. But it's like pretty. - Like what would the crime be? It's like not a crime. - It's something about bodily fluids, right? Like a kid just like, you could just like come on people shit. - Which way of your friends you think would do that to you if they were many of you. - Oh, that's like Natalie's mom in the romantic episode. - Yeah. - Yeah, I feel like shit all over the place. - Yeah, for sure. - But I also learned some positive things. There was this eight-year-old boy or girl I can't tell from the screenshot. But I mean, I don't do laundry too often, but this is a good laundry hack. So what he did was when-- - Too often, A.K.A. ever. - When the laundry was done. He sticks the basket in. The laundry basket upside down and then turns the laundry machine inside and all the clothes fall into the laundry basket. Kind of genius. - You're not explaining that, Greg. - He puts the basket into the laundry basket. - Into the dryer. - A cloth basket or a plastic basket. - A plastic basket. Like when it's done and he's gathering the clothes. - Oh, it's nice and narrow. So it slips through the walls. - Yeah, slips into the dryer. - It's nice. - And then circles the whole dryer around. So everything falls in. So he's not like taking bits, pin pieces out to put them into the little. - Sounds like a million dollar idea. - Yeah, I thought it was genius. And then I have even some more tips. This is something I've actually used before. - Okay. - And it's never worked for me. It's never worked for me. I'm not good at it. But we may have talked about this on the pod. I think that's why I use it so much. But if you're in a crowded social group and you want someone to know, and you want to know if someone's looking at you, do you know what to do? - Like, okay, so let's say you are at a table and there's a girl looking at you from far away and you're like, you're curious if she's checking you out. What you have to do is you have to very visibly check your watch. Or even if you don't have a watch, pretend you're checking your watch. 'Cause it'll automatically prompt a response from them to check their own watch, cell phone, or they'll casually look at various obvious places where someone would put a clock. 'Cause they'll also want to check the time. - And that would mean they're checking you out. - Yeah. - And for girls checking me out, I'd have to go killer. - I've tried this. - Trying to get in trouble with a new Dean. - Either they're definitely not checking me out or it doesn't work. In other news, 11 years ago, today, I posted vlog number one. - Whoa. - 11 years ago. - Shit. - It's kind of gross. I'm kind of crazy to think about how much time I was going by. 11 years ago is in like a. It's not that much time to be honest. It feels like way more time has gone by. It feels like 20 years have gone by. - Really? - Yes. - No small chunk of change. - 11 years ago is a lot. - Do you remember like, you remember like vividly your first vlog? - No. No. - That's not like a trick question. I'm just curious. - I'm just trying to answer it honestly. No, I don't remember it. Like watching it, I'm be like, okay, this is- - I know what it was. - I know what it was too, but- - You're in a grocery store. - No, I don't think so. - Doing the worm, isn't that what you were doing? - Maybe that was your video that welcomed you to the channel. - I think that's a different time. - I think it was basically like this. - What's up, I'm David, and I'm giving this vlog thing a try. - Yeah, that's, you're saying two different things. One was the beginning of my vlogs and the other was the beginning to my channel. Yeah. But I don't know. It just feels like- - And I don't know. I'm just gonna give it a try and just give it a whirl. And you know what, we'll see. And if I look stupid along the way, but then that's that. That was the general attitude. - Well, did you know- - Oh, you have a fact too? - Did you know that Olive Garden is ringing back? It's never ending pasta fast. - What? - Yeah. - I never knew that was gone. - What? - Did you guys go to Olive Garden the other night? - Oh. - We did, for David's birthday dinner, was it Olive Garden? - How was it? - It was so fucking good. - It was fun. - Oh my gosh. - It's not only good, but they're so fast. Like fast food fast. - Like it comes in less than 10 minutes your food is on the table. And if you were like going through a drive-through, you'd be only a little bit upset about how long the food's taking. Like that's the timing. Like it's damn near drive-through time. Yeah, it's really incredible. - Well, anyways, the never-ending pasta pass is essentially, it's $100 and it gives customers unlimited pasta dishes for 13 weeks. No limit on your visits. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. That's not true then. - Why? - No way. You're telling me every day, for 13 weeks, I could come in no limit on my visits. I could come in multiple times a day. Natalie, they would never do that. $100. - Check your sources and that is important. - I mean, can we just be serious about that? - Well, I mean, how much pasta can you eat? That's the other thing. - Jay, what if you're homeless? - Still. - Do you think you're gonna be like, I've had enough of this chicken parm or whatever? - You probably can't order chicken parm. - Okay, fine. You probably can just get it. - Okay, this is what the pasta pass gets you. Are you ready? - Yeah. - You start again, how much is this? - It's no way. - It's $100. - Okay. - Okay, you're very own pasta pass unlimited dining visits, okay, for 13 weeks straight, okay? - If you said 13 days, I'd be like this makes sense. - No, for sure. Never ending first course, super salad, which you kind of ready to get in breadsticks. Unlimited plates of your favorite never ending possible creations. So it's not anything on the menu. It's like their signature pasta dishes. They're signature for reasons, so that's actually a good thing. - Still great. Unlimited toppings, you can switch up on each bowl. So you always meet your protein goals, okay? - Oh my God, you could even put chicken on top. Are you fucking kidding me? - Same great price of just $100. A passport to stamp as you work your way through every never ending possible. So you get all the positive things. - No, that doesn't sound right. - I mean, it's on their website. - So what they're betting on is like, you're gonna come in and order alcohol. - Yes. - You're gonna order drinks. - Characters. - Characters. - Yeah, but Jay, okay, 13 weeks is what? 84 days? - Yeah, it's three months. - 84 days. You're telling me. - Yeah. - No. - I mean, no. - What do you mean, no? - If I moved tele, I told you. - If I moved tele and I live by an alcohol garden. - But it's only for one part. Like most people aren't able to eat more than one dish. - Natalie, I was eating fucking peanut butter and a slice of bread for the first three years. I lived in LA. What do you mean? I would fucking fuck this shit up. - Yeah, if you were a family, too. - What are you? - That's like pretty good. Let's see, you had a family of four. - Oh, I agree. I just don't. - For 400 bucks, you can feed everybody for three months. - That's a deal out of the fucking 1990s. - Let's say you only went once a day. That's still incredible. - Oh, 100, wait, are we still? - They only have-- - 100 dollars for three months. - It's amazing. - No, that makes no sense. - Better than equinox. - My grocery bill was like, what, $35 when I first moved to LA? And that was for like a week of food, for like dog shit food. And Olive Garden is like fucking incredible. No, there's something, I think you're reading this up like a meme account or something. - I'm on their website. - Okay. - I mean-- - Let's call it off. - Oh, I'm glad I showed this contract. - Comber bank call. - Comber bank call. - Give me a call. - Correct. - Call 'em right now. - We got to settle this. Yeah. - Mr. Garden? - It's already sold out though. - Oh, yeah. - The only sold, it says 10,000 of them. - Across the country? - Yeah. - Yeah, they're gonna fucking, they're gonna be like, what did we do? They've unlocked a monster. - These should do this a lot. They used to have this. - Special pass. - I mean, yeah, that's what-- - Probably 'cause they're like, maybe dyin' in sales are kind of tinkering off. So they want people to come, you have to dyin' in. You can't take it out or anything like that. You have to eat it in the restaurant. - I mean, that's gotta be one of the most genius things I've ever seen in my entire life. The question is, it can not only pull some strings. - I can get you that pass. - The boss device? - That would be, I mean, no, I'd rather have it. I'd rather give it to somebody they're like, you just move to LA, they need it. - Sure, well, that'd be good too. That'd be cool for the vlog. Hey, I got you the boss. - Hey, surprise. - You got me a Tesla? - You don't have to be here. - Yeah, no better. - No, but you're gonna be full for like three months. - What else, guys? - Natalie, I was gonna send you this TikTok. It's how to deal with-- - How to be pleasant? here. when somebody says something mean what to do. - Oh shit, I just did it to now. Wait, what are you supposed to do? - How do you handle people who are intentionally mean? - They say something mean. Or I want you to envision it as if something has come out of their mouth and just fall into the floor. And you get to choose to take five to seven seconds and nothing. And you can look down as if. - Are you talking about this yesterday? - Is this really good with that? - You can look down and look back up at them as if is that what you're proud of saying? And if that five to seven seconds, they don't say. - Is that what you're proud of saying, that's what you say? - Honestly, I basically did that yesterday. I feel David was going on and on and on about some dumb shit yelling at me, it's all my fault, blah, blah. And I just went mute and I looked down at my computer and I just carried on with my life. And I was like, you know what? I'm not engaging with you right now. That's what I said. - That's fair, you can't do that. - Yeah, and that's how you win. - Really? - Yeah. - Well, now I'm going to know what you're doing now. - Because then you sit there. - Now I'm going to just break your computer. - Yeah, I'm talking. - I'm engaged with this. - I'm going to stop coming over here. - I'm going to write this guy. I'm going to say, what if the person breaks my computer? - What do I do? - What if he throws socks at my head? - Is that the choice you just made? - Do you know Natalie's looking to move into a new place? - Someone in the house? - I don't. - No, I don't know, I'll see, maybe I'll keep it. - I don't know how she's making this for money. - She told me this the other day. - What did she take from you? - So you have to sell the other house. - 15, 15, 15. - 10. - I don't take 10 from you. - And herein, why is the problem? - Oh my God. - This is, it's so Natalie, you should be taking 10. - Bro, you've got Dane Cook vibes. - You've got Dane Cook vibes. - Oh, no, my brother's stealing from me. - You would need to go talk to Dane Cook. - Are you stealing money from me? - No. - Have you ever even just a little bit? - A little bit for sure. - Like what? - Like sometimes when you fucking piss me off, I'll order my dinner on your credit card. - Really? - Hell yeah. - Do apps? - You're a fucking app. - You could do it at jail for what you just said. - I'm going to be having a spa. - Chicken dinners are good. - Yeah. - Chicken tenders too. You ordered food that I would like on my card. God, it's disgusting. - I remember, this is actually kind of funny, 'cause when we went, I don't know if I've said this before on here, but when we went to visit Mr. Beast in North Carolina when he gave Ilya the Lamborghini, he was talking about his, I think David asked him like, how do you, what are your finances? Like how do you manage your finances? And he was saying something about his mom. I was mom kind of overseas, everything. And David's like, I would, I could never do that. Like how do you need someone that you trust? And like, you know, whatever, especially-- - Wait, I don't trust my mom. - For money stuff. Like to manage all your money. - Oh, like she wouldn't steal it. - No, no, no, no. - No, she just never manage money. - Yeah, yeah, she just wouldn't know. And that's really what you would do with that. And his mom, I think, wasn't like an accountant or anything either, but then he asked you, he was like, well then who's like managing all your stuff for you? And instead of seeing a mirror, you obviously pointed to me. Instead of seeing his business manager, he points to me. And Jimmy is equally dumbfounded. And he's like, that bitch is fucking handling your shit. And I don't remember what, and I think somebody had stolen a lot of money from him or something. He had some sort of bad experience with someone close to him. And you were like, oh well, she's definitely stealing from me. And whatever. And it was just like whole kind of awkward thing. Cause then I'm just sitting here uncomfortably. Like, I'm not a thief. And he asked me in front of everybody, you were like, have you ever stolen from me? And you were like, done asked not even a dollar. You never spent like, you were like putting on a spot in front of everybody. And that's wild. - And I obviously wasn't gonna say, like in that moment, yes, I had used your credit card before. - In that moment, yes, I have stolen. - I had done the dinner thing before. And I remember it was like eating me up because you, I didn't want to say that. Obviously in front of all these people that I barely know, they're also very big influential people. But I was technically lying on dead ass because I said no. - Why would you pose that question in front of four people? - Why would she steal? - Yeah, but, but why would you do a dead ass in front of everybody? - If she stole in front of me? - You wanted to make in front of Mr. Beast that I stole? - Yeah, imagine if I- - Wow, I feel like I'm pretty justified here. I caught a thief. - I caught a thief. - I could run the trap. - Yeah, I needed a higher power dynamic of Mr. Beast to help me with it. - Wow, that's crazy. - You used the circumstances. - You lied on dead ass. - I had no choice. You were threatening me. I would have considered that a threat in the situation that we were in. - It's not a threat, Natalie. It's not a threat. You, okay, we've written the laws of dead ass. - Yeah. - A couple of years ago, we wrote them out because I really, and I had a misunderstanding. - Okay. - And you can't use dead ass in a threatening way. And Natalie keeps bringing that up. And that means like, that means like, if you're like, if I'm like, Jason, please come with me to the club, please. - Yes. - And then you go, dead ass, if you ask me one more time, I'm not coming. That's how you can't do it. That's enough for me like that. - I can't use it in a threatening way. - Yeah, but naturally, any time she feels any kind of- - Well, and Dennis is threatening my life at all times of every day, honestly. - I don't know, dude. I can't believe you're selling for me. And now I've known how many times we've done the credit card thing. - Like maybe two or three times. Or like a $40 meal. - First of all, three times $40 meal, that could get you unlimited pasta for a hundred days. So technically, I bought you 84 meals. - But you know what? - Touched three, 249. - You know what? I didn't feel bad because Mr. B's probably supplies lunch for his people. He probably supplies. - No, he probably doesn't. - Benefits and things like that. - He probably doesn't. - For his, for his right hand person, I'm sure he fucking gives him every- - Do you use the pliers? - Just to complain to you about it. - What, really? - When I had an assistant, I would buy her lunch and I'd be like, "Hey man, I'm like buy her lunch every day." Is that? And then you'd be like, "No, it's nice." - I think it's to be nice. - I don't buy Natalie lunch. - Well, I buy Taylor lunch every day. - Oh, you buy Taylor lunch every day. - Hey, we're amazing, thank God. - Wait, wait, Krathe, we got them. - I'm out, guys, I have to go to a meeting and do my job, motherfuckers, bye. - Oh, hi guys, that's all the time we have for this pod. Thank you guys for listening. There you have it, guys. - Natalie. - What do they have? (laughing) - We fight all the time. - Natalie's been stealing from me. - Is that the resolution you came out with today? This is a bigger problem here, a bigger picture here that you're driving or crazy? - So she can steal chicken tenders? They could buy it, Jay. They could buy it. - Well, you should go back and you should check your receipts. - Yeah, I know I'm going to. - Yeah, right. (laughing) - Should I wonder what she could get away with if she wanted to? - She bought me some stuff. - Really? - Yeah, she got me. - Where'd you get it? - She got me a whole wardrobe. - Oh, you have been looking more dapper. - Thank you. - Wow, is that Ralph Lauren? - You wanna see my new impression? - Yeah. - Okay. This is a, this is a 60 year old guy who's had a career as a sound engineer. Talking about producing his 20 year old son's album together. - Okay. - Okay. - Yeah, I just realized that it's gotta be his way and I gotta just, I gotta get out of the way. It's his album and I gotta just be there. You know, and when he says he wants it that way, I need to drop whatever I've learned over the years, all my years producing and I gotta just say, okay, Bill, hands off. Hands off. That's it. - Thank you guys for listening to the pod. We left you a little beautiful gem there at the end. You guys stayed this long. - Are you curious where that came from? - You were to come from. - This guy I'm at the other night. - Oh, I love it. I thought I was just straight from the top of the dome. Guys, if you wanna hear more impressions at the end of the pod cast as like a little treat. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I could do that. - Yeah, that'd be nice. It's like, I feel like maybe people will wanna hear that more than even the pod cast. - Maybe. say please never again. Well, let us know. All right, guys. We'll see you soon. Bye.