David Oyelowo Returns

Hi, my name is David A. Yellowwell, and I feel co-nanified, nice about being a kind of Brian's a friend. That is a very expensive process to be co-nanified. Very few people can imagine the most expensive spa weekend. Hey there, welcome to co-nanabrion needs a friend. My name going on a Brian. Sonom of Sessians joining us too. Yes. And Matt Gurley is still out on paternity leave, but we are joined by David Hopping, the assistant who replaced Sonom and made her but a dim memory. Oh, did Sonom's full celebrity now? Dim memory. Well, I don't even remember. Who are you? Oh, man. Listen, when this episode drops, it's going to be tax time. And I've been told that this is a dreadful thing to talk about, which makes me want to talk about it. No. Yeah. So tax time, Sonom, you got your papers in order? No, I just remembered when we were talking about this, I said, Oh, no, I got to send my account and all my stuff. Yeah. Well, how hard is that? It's a lot. Do you have like a big shoe box that's filled with papers? No, that's the oil. Why are you laughing? Because I do. All of the papers that are emailed are mailed to me. I just stick them in a thing, a folder. Okay. So yeah, it's like a shoe box, but I don't have like receipts. Okay. I don't live my receipts. Okay. I don't do any of that. All right. So you just have some papers. You've got to get them to the accountant. Yeah. Like you probably do. That's a fun story. Oh, I don't touch anything. I live in a bubble. I'm a, you know, I'm an LLC. I'm a, I'm an offshore illegal company. I, do you know what I mean? The papers get moved around, you know, things are purchased and sold without my knowledge. And I'm just sitting in a geodesic dome covered in yak butter going. Well, it's happening. What's happening outside? What's happening? David, I don't even want to know what your story is. You still need to do mine too. Okay. We're all behind. Okay. But what do you have? Do you have papers or receipts papers? So you employ me. Yeah. And so then I have to, I get those papers. I don't even know that. Do you get paid for what you do? You pay me. That's insane. I don't pay you a faceless corporation. Yeah. Again, I don't know what's happening at Wardo. What's your story? How do you get your taxes done? On time. But who does your taxes? Oh, what a dick. Who does your taxes? Do you want me to give it like a plug? Do you have a guy? Because you might dad does his own. Your dad does his own. Yeah. There's no way. He's not breaking the law. Oh, there you came from another land. He doesn't know about our American ways. A lot of people do their own taxes. They just I know, but what are doing things on the boxes? I know. But come on. Is he on me up and up your pops? Yeah, Gill is on how dare you? What is your issue with my dad? No, I love I love your dad. I love your dad. Gill is the man. But I just curious. You know, he came to this land, a Medica, and I'm curious if he's familiar with all of our ways and he's paying taxes. It's all going well. He's been here for almost 60 years. It takes a while to get used to stuff. You know, that's all. Oh, you're awful. You're awful. You're smiling. You love it. You love this version of you. This is you. This is your real you. Hello. The real you. This is it. No, listen, I, uh, what's this now? I don't blame. I don't blame. I don't not only do I have nothing to say. I'm trying to hide behind Sonna's hair. So you don't look at me. No, but who does your taxes? Okay. My mom does my taxes. Your mom does your taxes. My mom, my Mary Blair, bless her heart. Does my taxes sweet. Um, and so I'm sorry. It's a very, it's a very, very emotional thing between the two of us. I she demands to do it. It's back and forth. It's I don't know what she does. She does. She does. She absolutely demands to do it. She's on the phone with you saying how come you spent this much on a spider man? You know what? She actually is. But because you buy it. No, wait, wait, hold it. Wait a minute. You don't science me on camera bright knees. All right, fine. You take the punishment. Oh my god. She's so you have to talk to your mom. Yes. I get all the shit you buy. The video games, the figurines, right? The sword. I see. Yes. Yes. Is your mom and your mom then your mom goes over the stuff that you guys does. Yes. Here's the thing. You don't understand. She's into it. She's into it. I get to talk to her about it. She does not say, oh, you bought a spider man costume. She's like, how many spider man costumes can we write off? She's fully into it. She asked me. How can you write off a spider man costume? Because I work for you. What do you talk about? Because you work for me. Yes. You're allowed to have the government pay for part of your spider man. No. No. The whole thing. Now. I'm sorry. I think you and Jill. It's all about. This is how good my mom. This is how cool my mom is. She I was going to go to the Renaissance. She's like, maybe she'd buy another sword. We could write that off. And I was like, explain to me. Oh, wait a minute. I think we have a lawyer. We're probably not in today. But he could join us. We should call the phone. Well, listen, listen, why? Why? The fact that you work for Conan O'Brien doesn't mean that I just bought 900 pounds of silly string. And I don't want to pay for it. I can get you to talk about it. Get you to talk about it. So you're the puppet master? I'm not. I'm just I'm the wormtongue. I'm wormtongue. I whisper in your ear. You did talk about it. Who is it? It's just part of me. Who has talked about who has a man to share bringing his sword two years in a row and his new acts. So that means they're in Blair. This wasn't an idea that you thought was good for the podcast. You thought I've got to write this fucker off. And I came in and I jammed it into the conversation. Conan be fucked whether it's good or not. And then you walk away and and Uncle Sam takes it up the old star Spangled Yen Yang. It can be both. I can write it off. And it can be good. I don't like we talk about something on the podcast. It's a write off. That's one. It's part of my job. I need it for my job. I got to write that Hillary Duff tickets going. The backstreet boy's tickets right off. You should talk to my mom. She would say she can eat. You can easily write it off. I'm a therapist. Is she even an accountant? No, she's a therapist. She's just her boat tax. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Your your mom. Your mom is not an accountant. No, no, no. And she's not a tax. No, and she's actually bad. So your mom is insisting on doing it. And then she just hires turbo tax. She doesn't hire it. It says my son just bought seven Zena warrior princess just plates. That's right. And we want her cash back. That's correct. Yes. That's exactly. This is a. This is a. I'm dying. This is exactly. No. There's just. We are. We are. We are just rotten with fraud. There's just fraud pre-eating this whole. And I'm exposing it right now. We're all going to get on it. But it's not fraud if it's good content. We're making a good. I haven't listened to this. I don't listen to this thing. I don't know if it's good content. I can't. Okay. I want you investigated. I'm going to see to that. We're showing this down in the corner. Adam. Adam. Adam. Adam. Adam. Adam. Adam. I don't know what you're doing. You're supposed to be running this thing. You're the podcast with. And you're. I feel really. I'm offended by Blake. I'm really offended. I really feel like we've all been taking advantage of. He comes in with this shit. But he's like, I'm just trying to help the podcast. Oh, help the podcast. The podcast is a juggernaut. This thing's a you can't beat this thing with a stick. And then you come in here with your princess Galactica helmet and we're supposed to get you off the hook. Unbelievable. It's such a scam, Blake. Unbelievable. They're interstate schools. They don't have computers. But this guy has Zena Warrior Princess swords. Turbo to podcast is my favorite. I think I heard her text. She's bringing up. Okay. You're under arrest. You've brought her up so many times. She was brought to my Lucy Lollis was brought to my house once at a party by someone on staff who brought Lucy Lollis. And I was like, what is Lucy Lollis doing here? I love her. She was great. Yeah. Frank Smiley brought her to my apartment. And he was like, look, I brought Lucy Lollis. And I'm like, I don't know her. Well, you'd know her now. Anyway, Okay, that got you off the hook, my Lucy Lala story. Okay, good lord. My guest today, starting such movies as Selma Lincoln and the Butler. Now you can see him in the new film Newborn. This man is a delight. He's a massive talent and a real joy and I'm so happy he's back on the podcast. David O'Yellowwell, welcome. Every time I think of you, it elicits good thoughts. Oh, that's so nice of you. It's true. I can return that favor because not long ago, our booker Paula Davis brought up your name and said that you might be coming back and I immediately said, "I love that guy." You are so funny and we just had a joyous time in our last interview so I was so happy you could come back. Really thrilled to have you. Thank you. Thanks for having me again. You're in a good mood. You came in. I asked you about your family. You said everything's going well. Yes. I told you that my eldest son proposed to his girlfriend last night. Last night? Last night. And I just watched a video of it, which then I reposted. No. No. Yeah. I got excited. Dammit. Yeah. And guess what? I put ads on it. I monetized it. And I'm making a lot of money right now. I'm just impressed even you had a repost? No. No, it's a really beautiful moment and you must be overjoyed. I can't even begin to tell you. It just brought back so many memories because I proposed to his mom when she was 19 and I was 21. Wow. So we were babies. They're 23 and 24, my son's 24. And it just brought back all the memories of proposing to my wife and watching this video. I was on a plane from New York last night and my wife sent me a text which came through as an iMessage and then she sent the video and it wouldn't download. Oh my God. Oh my God. And I couldn't get on the Wi-Fi and it was just it was intarminable just it just saying downloading, downloading, downloading, downloading, and you know, it just did not be able to. And then it finally came through and I just said, and you know, there's something about the oxygen on planes that makes you more emotional. And so like watching, I just the feels were just roiling. So I am over the moon. Well, congratulations to everybody. Thank you. I can't wait to go to the wedding. Oh. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. The video. They advise themselves to the wedding. Oh my God. Well, I'm sorry. I'm just thrilled to be there and to get to sing a song. My dream. Now you just about this. Yes, I do. Yes, I do. Well, I only say that because my mom, God rest her soul, for all of my childhood threatened to sing at my wedding. Now the reason why you may sense a bit of trauma as I started telling this story is my mother was also tone deaf and she would insist on tone deaf. We didn't want to tell you who's the other person in this story who's tone deaf. You. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. And she would take to singing when I was watching my cartoons, which is incredible. When I tell you. So she is the soundtrack of my childhood and you're just trying to enjoy your cartoons. Literally. Like mommy. I can't. I can't hear David back. I can't hear the incredible. And she was I rebuking the Nemo Jesus. Are you telling me I cannot sing? So. So. That's fantastic. That's the backdrop. To her saying one day I'm going to sing at your wedding. And so so we we had managed. We had managed because she wanted to sing during the ceremony and I'm out the wedding ceremony and we're like absolutely no way do not let a mic anywhere near her. It got it got to the speeches and just picture it there's a there's a there's a high table. My dad finishes making his speech is passing the mic to my best man and all the bro. Oh my god. Everybody. I'm going to sing a song because I like to sing not because it's my wedding, not in like just because I like to sing. The end of every verse everyone goes, I like that's just screaming five buses, she gets a standing ovation of course because of the relief that had stopped, but her interpretation you see if I made an album, it was said like hot chick, we'll see this is perfect. You need you need to go full circle and you need to have that moment for your son and his bright to be and I can do that for you. Wow. I can do that for you. It's just that I'm going to put it out there. Thank you. Let it drop and yes, I've never mentioned it again. You're, you're going to start getting calls from your publicist Cohen keeps. Why? Cohen wants to know when he wants to bring his tuba. He plays the tuba since he posted that video, he just will not stop calling. Well, that's really it. You know, I don't know if you have this, but you went through this, you, you got married. You said when you were 21, 22, 22 and I always have this all the time where I think I'll have done something when I was 22, but now that I have children, that age and approaching that age, I always think they're too young to be doing any of the things that I was doing at that age. Absolutely. They can't be, they can't be walking down the street by themselves, they're too young. What do you mean you went to an ATM and got some money? That's something an adult does and it's, it's this strange, so we all do it. You're going to do it with your kids where your kids are, you know, your kids are four now, but you're going to see that when they're 19, the idea of them doing anything that you did at 19 is going to be just horrifying. I mean, well, even now them having a complete thought and I'm blown away, like just finishing a whole sentence. Right. When did this happen? Yeah. Yeah. So it is the joy about being a parent, but it is also terrifying. I mean, like Jess was literally 19 when we got engaged. My daughter, my youngest is 14, the idea that in five years, right, I mean, it's, it's a ridiculous thought. But my dad, my dad didn't get married till he was 40, didn't have me until he was 42. So, and he was my hero. So I, I just thought that's what I will do. And then, and then I met this woman who I just couldn't picture any future days without her in it. Yeah. And it just happened early. And I remember going to my dad and saying, this is the, the woman I, I want to marry. And he, and he was just like, absolutely not that it is way too early. It is irrational. It is, you know, and I just, I remember saying to him, well, you're invited to the wedding if you want to come. If not, I'm doing this. And, and, and that was my, my position on it. And he had to kind of find his way to the reality of that. And I, and in the two biggest decisions of my life were in defiance of my dad, who I married and the profession I went into. Oh, he was not a fan of you. No. And actor. No, no. He said, why do you want to go and be a jester? Yeah. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Which is what you do for a living. No. No. And accurate. No. I, my own self, a layup. What could I do that? You're so nice. I started this by saying I feel Conanified. David. David. I see myself as a visionary, and I see it myself as a healer. I speak, it looks like I'm a jester or that I'm clowning about, but really I'm holding a mirror up to society and healing it through my craft. Confed. I tried it. Your last name is so spectacular. What does it mean? Is it a translation? Is it a meaning? Yes. Oh, yellow woe. Oh, yellow woe. Oh, yellow woe is the anglicized way of saying it in Europe, but it's a yellow woe. Mm hmm. Round it. Don't try. I don't know what you're saying, I'm telling her you're saying. But it means a king deserves respect, means what it means, yeah, so to have a last name that really means something, right? Does your name mean anything, Moshesyan? A-A-N at the end of Armenian names means son of, so it's just son of Moses. Yeah. Mine's just a verb. Yeah. Hopping. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I almost hired Jack Skipping, but I went with David Hopping. I think Conan is wide face. I looked it up once, and I wasn't happy. Broad of forehead. What is the oh, the oh, Brian? I've heard people claim that it means you're related to kings, but then you walk around Ireland and you go, no. The internet says little wolf or little hound is what Conan means. Right. Okay. Right. I've never heard that before, so I think someone just put that in. It's also it's little wolf and little wolf. So is this correct? Your father had tribal markings? Yes. And what was it? Yoruba is the tribe? Yes. Okay. The Yoruba tribe. So, yeah, tribal, he had four tribal monks on both cheeks, and he had the word ballet written on his stomach, and this was done with blades when you were like, oh my God. I know. Yeah. Really intense. And, but I grew up with my dad telling me that the reason he had these four slashes on his cheeks is because he had four to tie up, and I completely bought it. And it was incredibly useful at school every time my dad came to pick me up because anyone who was messing with me, I was like, you see that on my dad's face? Tiger. That was Tiger. Do you want that man mad at you? Exactly. Exactly. Incredible. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we then moved to Nigeria, and I got picked up at the airport by all of my uncles. And literally I was like, did everyone fight tigers like, what is going on that Tiger got around? And I just went rampant on my family with this tiger. I jumped in to save your dad and I jumped in to save him and I jumped in to save him. So you were, where were you born? You were born in, I was born in Oxford, England, and I was there till the age of two, so I don't really remember it. Then I moved to London, and I was there till the age of six, and then we moved to Lagos, Nigeria, and I was there till 15 before we moved back to London. I've been to Oxford twice, and I just went for the second time. I want to say about five, six months ago, and it is hard not to feel area-dite when you're walking around in that environment. And people have asked me what it's like, and I say, it is the closest thing to Hogwarts on earth that I haven't countered. I've never seen anything like that, and it's just got so much history. I know Cambridge is the same thing. You walk around these places that have been around for 800 years. I don't know how many, you know, and you think about all the insane talent that walked those streets. I know. I think that's why my dad really wanted to be there, just to be around it, which is why I ended up being born there. And he decided he was going to go into the medical profession until, as he tells it, he realized he had an apoplectic fear of blood. And so, you know, I can't remember if it was a day that they were supposed to be dissecting a cadaver or something like that, and he was outculted. That's not unlike my dad who went to medical school, and then I think late in medical school was around, you know, patience and blood, and said, I want to be an laboratory. And he did great work there, but I think he wasn't up for that part. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, I mean, to find the thing it is that you truly love and that it loves you back is, I think, Elysium. My dad took a while to sort of. I don't know that he ever actually found the thing that he read it, because he would try a lot of different things. Well, he tried medical profession and decided he didn't like blood, so I wanted to be an architect. Couldn't really draw. I think I said he hated houses, fear of houses. So yeah, I mean, you know, the happiest he became ultimately was he and my mom ran a sort of mini cab firm in London, so yeah, just driving people around was the thing he sort of became happy with. That's all. I've always thought, if I needed to pick up a second job, I wouldn't mind being an Uber driver because I love talking to people so much, and I love trying to find out what's going on in their lives and filming them when they don't know I'm filming them. What? We'll get into that part later. That's a good time. But you know what's funny is your career, your start as an actor was, as all the best things are a little bit accidental because you said there was a, I've heard that there was a, or read that there was a subway strike happening and you think that this contributed to you becoming an actor and I'm curious, how does that happen? Well, because I was at this youth fit to group that I only attended because I fancy this girl who, you know, I don't know that she knew it and I just kept on going for her. I was very shy and I, we were rehearsing a play and I would always just sit, you know, hoping I would maybe be in the chorus or something so that I could keep seeing this girl. And then one day there was a tube strike, like a subway strike. And the three guys who were being touted to play the lead were all stuck on trains. And so the director said to me, oh, David, just read in and, you know, while we wait for the guys to arrive. They're real actors to come, literally, and I very much thought of them as that. And I had the page and I guess I just did it the way I thought it should be done. And I finished this speech and the room just went completely silent and I thought, oh, it was that bad. It was that bad that these people are speechless with how bad it was. And then three days later, I was cast in the lead of this play. And although I didn't understand the significance of it at the time, this youth theatre was at the national theatre, like the Royal National Theatre of Great Britain on the South Bank in London. And so the very first thing I did was playing the lead on what was then the Kotaslow stage is called the Dufman Theatre now at the national theatre. And yeah, it literally happened because that day those guys didn't turn up. Wow. If I had been one of those guys, I would have suspected that you messed with the tube. I did. I did. I did. I did. I absolutely did. That's how my mind worked. You know, you're down there. You're like switching the track. Yeah. That was me. Yeah. That was me. I knew a guy. I've always noticed that it's not a rule, but it happens about 95% of the time that people from the United Kingdom actors are also sort of charming storytellers. And I have not found that to be true in other places where someone can be a terrific actor. But it's almost like it's something in the water or it's something that's prized and respected that in Britain, you know, Scotland, Wales, whatever. You have to be or Ireland as well. You must be a good actor, but you must also be a rock contour. And it's almost like that is taught when I know it's not. But I think it's very much the rule. It actually is taught because you're around these actors who there is a tradition of it actually. And as a young actor, what you're looking for is to sit at the feet of a Judy Dench or as I did with Judy Dench or Alan Bates or Ray Fines or Kenneth Branagh. You know, these are people. I literally had the opportunity to work with like I did a film called "As You Like It" with Kenneth Branagh. I did a show with Judy Dench. I did a show with Alan Bates. I worked with actors who were awe inspiring when you were on stage with them. They had mastered the craft. And what I mean by that is when you get on the Royal Shakespeare Theatre stage in front of, I think that stage is about 100, well, 1,500 people or on the Olivier, which I think is maybe 1,200 people, when you see someone be nervous in the wings, someone who you watched in the rehearsal room playing with language like Shakespeare that is four to five times hour vocabulary and finding their way to the truth of it, finding their way to the meaning of it and finding different interpretation time and time again and then watching them nervous in the wings before they go on and become supernatural on that stage. And you're around that enough. it gets on you. And then when you're with them after the fact and they're talking about when they were on stage with Gilgood or Olivier or because there is something and this is one of the British tradition. It is loaded, it is something that is celebrated and it is a tradition that is very much outside of financial remuneration. The gift is the doing of it. And I think that in and of itself creates this aura of camaraderie and being part of a tradition that has been ongoing. And so there is something and I sound so pretentious saying this but there is something celestial about. Yeah, I remember being 21, 22 being in a rehearsal room with a guy who had been on stage with Olivier and just going, okay, just soak it all in. And what I mean is it gets on you. And what you what then happens is as you climb the ranks of being a spare carrier playing Dacrata, like I did in Anthony and Cleopatra with my seven lines and then within about three years I was playing Henry the sixth in that same theater. So you go from Holt who goes there to literally giving these incredible solo-liquies speeches that you will never conquer. Yeah. Every night is basically an exercise in humility because it will kick you about every night. It's why that playwright, especially Shakespeare, has lasted over 400 years. He tapped into humanity in a way that I don't think any writer has done before and ever will. And so it's the Everest for activism. So when you have that and then you combine it with an audience and what I mean by celestial is that there is this vibration where they start telling you if and you must have this as a comedian, they start telling you if you're telling the truth. And the moment there is fracture in that you feel it instantaneously. And if you do that night, after night, after night, after night, it becomes muscle memory. We've all been around each other since we crawled out of the sea. And we pick up on this, you could call it electrical. You could say there's a biochemical reason for it or it's just mystical and you don't want to think about it too much. But we know when someone's tapped into the truth. Yes. It's why I think juries, you know, they can make mistakes. But overall, we say let's get a bunch of let's get a bunch of your peers and have them listen. And together, they'll have an intelligent, a common intelligence. You've said it. It's truth. I think is the thing. And it's why anyone's favorite actors have probably at some point been on the stage. I truly believe that because you have had the opportunity to be around the truth enough that that is now, as I say, muscle memory that becomes applicable to film work where everything is artifice. You know, it's a room like this with contraptions like this. And it's a, and you're supposed to be in love with someone you met that morning. And it is, it is an exercise in artifice. But if you know what it feels like to tell the truth under those circumstances we're describing, you sort of have more access to it. I just think, I mean, I'm thinking about the people that you've worked with, not just on the stage in London, but in your film work, you've worked with giants in the industry. And you know, you said that you worked with Dame Judy Dentch. I don't believe I've met her. Someone now will come up with a video of me interviewing her. I'm serious. I, this happens to me all the time where someone will pass. And I'll say a shame, I never met them. And someone will show me seven videos of me talking to them over a 15 year period. Is this what I have to look forward to? Oh, the minute you, the minute you go, I'd be like, I would love to meet 1998. All right. Well, she made no impression. They've always heard, I mean, she's spectacular, but I've also heard that she's just lovely, that she's so lovely and funny, very, very funny. But what was so surprising about her is she said, I can't bear to watch myself. She's one of those actors who can't, you can't bear to watch her, but the thing that was really surprising is she said, I learn my lines and I try to forget them so that I am completely fresh and present in the scene. And I thought, how do you trick yourself into, like, and I was in a scene with her and I saw this thing that is happening between you and I right now, whereby you don't know what I'm going to say next. And it is affecting your brain chemistry in a way whereby it precipitate to you. It's real hitting the ball back forth. Correct. Correct. Yeah. Correct. And she has maintained the discipline of being able to hold it close enough, but hold it lightly enough that she's constantly alive. And I just thought, whoa, that is so brave and why she's so brilliant. Now, you do hold a distinction of being slapped by Oprah. I mean, we should talk about that. My claim to figure it out. I mean, as part of a scene, I've been slapped by Oprah just in life. Yeah. Yeah. Just for existing. I know. I tried to cut, it was an eight items or less line. And I tried to cut in front of her. That'll do it. And this was up near Santa Barbara and man, she packed so well. But I had it coming in and mad respect. But what was that like? Well, you know what? This was this was during a film called The Butler. Yeah. And we were doing this scene and it was a scene and it was a tough scene because Sydney Portia is literally my hero. And I it was a scene where my character was being very shall we say uncouth about about Sydney Portia. And as a result, she quite rightly decides to give me what for now. Of course, in the film, she's supposed to slap her son in the world of like cameras action all of that. Yeah. Don't actually slap me. Now with each take, she got more and more into it. And she has probably reserves of anger about things in her life. She wants to get out. I could feel her dragging things that were helping her tell the truth. Yeah. And what was happening is, you know, so initially, you know, I couldn't feel any wind as she, as she went. And and it started like, I was like, each time she does this, so I could feel she was getting ever closer each and every time. And the very last time, she got the end of my nose. Oh, okay. It wasn't a full slap, but it was the moment where I went, I think we got it. I think we got it guys. I'm just going to mention, I'm just going to mention, I don't know if this could do. She has deep pockets. There's a lot of money there. So I've heard. Yeah. And you could say my nose. I've never, I don't think I can act again. I use the tip of my nose a lot. You know, and then she's living at the motel six and you're living in her house. This is where you go. You go straight for the ability to America. This is America. And that's all we do is do the shit out of each other. Yeah, sooner. Damn it. All the billboards. You can call sweet James. Sweet James. Yeah, that's the guy. That is. Oh, his billboards are everywhere. Sweet James. It was funny. You mentioned that because we did something that was the lovely Sophie Turner was going to be on our show. And I've always had a good time talking with her. And she was coming on. And I read the notes and they said she might want to try something where she it involves her lightly slapping you. And I told her just before the show. So this is really on me. I said, those things are going to work. You really have to go for it. So I told her you should, if it's going to work, you have to really go for it. You can't kind of have to do it. So and I'm not thinking. So we get to that part of the show. And it's on tape. But I'm standing up. And Sophie just lets me have it. She's a very strong woman. You took a shot of tequila first. I took a shot at tequila first. And then she hit me. And you can see I'm just I went to a different place for a while for a while. I traveled through time. I met many famous people. And then I came back all in an instant. But um, but it gave me some context. It was it for a bit. It was a game. I think she called it tequila slaps. Yeah. But I don't know how it's a game. Because it's just me having some tequila and then her punching the shit out of you. Just take a shot of tequila and the person just slaps you. And that's it. What a fun game. She left the bottle. Are you great? Not only did I agree to it. I saw it in the notes. And I said, Oh, and if you're going to if we do get to that, I like to keep it kind of loose out there. I said, if we do get to that and it starts to happen, if you do that, it's not going to work. You have to let me have it. And God bless her. Yeah. Right. She was like, All right. She went for it. He told me and yeah. So because you wanted to sue her. Is this why you? That was the plan. Unfortunately, I wondered why I read she's Because it is something to be in that moment where you're hit, which doesn't happen. Were you ever punched at all in as a kid or were you ever in a fight? Yeah, yeah. I went into boarding school in Nigeria and I remember getting into a few fights. It is nothing until you experience being punched in the face. Yeah. Nothing can prepare the ringing, the flash of white, you see. Like, you know, you're saying yep, yep, like you've been punched in there. Oh, I was, yeah. I was, I was, yeah, punched really hard in the face. Oh, really? It was a mugging by Sophie Turner. It was again, it was Sophie Turner. And she was robbing me. It's about two years after she was on the show and I had sued her into destitution. And she said, I want my money back. She's looking to deal with you. You kind of deserved it. No, I was, I think I was 18 and I was walking around the north end of Boston and some kids wanted money and I said, no, and they said, why not? I said, I don't feel like it. And just as I said, like it, as I hit the tea, I saw all the white and yeah, yeah, yeah. Then they had to rebuild my nose. Did you scratch it? Did you get the blood? When you suddenly, your, your own blood goes down your throat. I had the whole thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I was like a sprinkler. I think you had a sprinkler system of just, no, it's tanning dark now. I was fine. I bear no emotional wounds. Right. It's the guy who's clearly packed with emotional wounds. But what I did to members, they had to reshape my nose and I had the whole black eyes and I was bandaged up for a while and I'd be, there were bars in the neighborhood where I lived and I'd be walking home from, you know, to my house. And guys standing in the doorways of bars, I always thought this was, you know, something you'd just see in movies, but they, to a one, would all step out and go, how's the other guy look? Wow. And I'd say the other guy looks just fine. Not a scratch, dude. He looks, he's got the devious skin. You know, just, I mean, he looks better than he did before. Well, I want to congratulate you because I watched your film Newborn and I very much enjoyed it and it was not what I expected, which is rare. Usually when I watch a movie, I think, oh, I can see where this is going. And I was completely surprised by how this unfolded, it's very powerful movie. And you, am I right? This movie was made a, was it made a while ago? What was the movie made? Yeah. It was made a little while ago and it was one of those, the alchemy of making movies, man. It's, it's, we made it with a company that went into insolvency and so we had to get the film back and, you know, all that. And then there was a stood right to strike and all this stuff before we're, we're now getting the movie out. But weirdly, I've had so many instances like this, like Selma took seven years to get made. Is that true? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. From, from when I first auditioned for it, and it's amazing, too, when you see the finished product, you think, well, this was obvious. Yeah. And it wasn't. I mean, if you, you know, when you walk out of the theater after seeing Selma, if someone said to you, well, that took seven years from beginning to you think, well, that, no, this just looks like a slam dunk. Right. Exactly. And it was the opposite. I mean, I, I watched five directors come and go before it ended up being Ava DuVanay. I watched that film go from Lyndon Johnson being the central character to it finally being a doctor king, as it always should have been. And, and to your point, you know, I truly believe these things, because I, I'm a big believer in the power of storytelling. And I do think often the ones that really go on to be impactful, they, they sometimes take time to come to fruition in the right way. And what happened with newborn is that through the course of this protracted journey to the now that we're in, we got to go back and do reshoots and, and, and really analyze what it is we wanted to do with the film, because the film is about my character, Chris Newborn, who endured seven years of solitary confinement, and is dealing with the, the, the, the detrimental effects of that mentally and is trying to reconnect with his family after coming out with his wife and his, and his son. And that's very delicate, you know, because I talked to a few people who had dealt with that reality is specifically a guy called Richard Rosario, who had been wrongfully incarcerated for 20 years, seven of which were in solitary confinement. And the effects of it, I mean, after 13 days, studies have shown you're never the same again, because it's 23 hours a day in a nine by six cell with fluorescent lights on all the time. And what that does to the mind, the psyche, the soul is, is, it's torture. What's the possible reason that lights would have to be on all the time other than to torture you? There's no rehabilitative effect to having lights on all the time. It is the opposite of rehabilitation, you know, and that's the point. It is, it is punitive, just, it is purely punitive. And so it's the height of punishment. Anything and everything to make your life uncomfortable is what solitary confinement is. And you, you say it perfectly there, it is the opposite of rehabilitation, which supposedly is what we're supposed to be doing with prisons. But what people don't know is that 80,000 people, men, women and children are in solitary confinement today in America. And so in order to tell this story in a way that wasn't just dark and challenging and traumatic, we chose to see what life was like for this man post, the incarceration and how he goes on a journey to trying to reconnect with his family while dealing with his trauma. So it's a psychological thriller, but, you know, it's, it's, it's, that's wrapped around a love story. You know, this guy trying to get back to his wife trying to get back to his son. I thought of this analogy, which is they've, it was proven long ago that if, I think they found this out at the end of World War II and soldiers were liberating some of the concentration camps that the first instinct is to give all these people who are malnourished tons of food, which can kill them, because their bodies have been living with almost no food for years at a time, and you need to start very slowly and then slowly raise the calorie count in order for people. That's this movie to me that a very good job of showing me that if someone's been in solitary confinement for seven years and then they're out and they're free and they're allowed to be out in the world and walking down the street and being outside, it's overload. It's absolute sensory overload and traumatic. And so things that we think of as this would be lovely. I'd love to be with my wife and my son at a cabin in the woods wandering around this beautiful countryside. What a lovely time. That's horrifying. And that came across really thoroughly in the movie and I thought this is, this is a story we haven't seen before, where someone's in an environment that I would love and to them it's a nightmare. Well, it's perfectly put there, Conan, because it's also about the things we take for granted and how desperately as human beings we need connection. Like human beings are designed for connection and the ultimate way you dehumanize someone is to extricate them from human connection. I mean, we all to a certain extent felt that during the pandemic. And that was one of the most debilitating things is this feeling of a lack of connection to other people. But you know, that's exactly it. Him trying to reconnect having been denied connection for so long with the very people that essentially their existence is what kept him going. Yeah. So he wants nothing more than to reconnect with his wife. His son has become nonverbal because of some of the trauma he sees in his mother due to what has happened to his father. So, you know, all of that is happening and you can't tell what's in his mind and what's perceived and what is real and that's where the psychological thriller aspect comes in. But, you know, what we also hope to do is to tap into how we can all relate to feelings of isolation, whether it's loneliness, whether it's, you know, in your own head, whether it's, you know, childhood trauma, whatever that may be. And what is the path to heaving for that? I believe it's love. And you know, Richard Rosario, the extraordinary thing, his wife, stuck by him for the 20 years he was incarcerated and her name is Manurva and it's extraordinary to see him now 10 years after he's been released, still dealing with a lot of what he dealt with, but it is extraordinary to see how love in relation to that thing you talk about, of how you slowly bring someone back. I suppose you're just giving them a full meal has sort of got this guy to a place where, you know, he can now stand up in front of people and talk about his experience. You know, I was watching the film and you're performance is extraordinary as your performances always are. Then I was thinking about your quote accident getting into acting you go to the acting class because you have a crush on this girl and you just want to tag along and I look at I think wait something isn't right here because someone who can act at that level must know when they're a kid they have this inside of them that could not have been as complete surprised to you. It was really it was but and and this is where gosh to if as especially as an artist if there is someone who sees in you what you haven't seen in yourself yet that is that is just the greatest blessing and often Oprah talks about this I've heard a lot of artists whether they be actors or musicians that music teacher or that drama teacher or that literature professor or teacher that goes hold on you yeah yeah there's something going on here and I had that in a teacher called Jill Foster who you know I I continued to do drama but but it was baked into me by my parents that it's not that's not a proper job that's just not what this is going to be and I idolized my father and so therefore it wasn't going to be that but this teacher who I remember her are costing me outside of a tube station when I was all set to go and do a law degree and saying David I wouldn't say this to any of my other students I think you could do acting professionally and and I and I and I didn't even know what that entailed and she went well have you considered drama school I said I don't know what that is and she introduced me to what drama schools are and she helped me with my own additions and that's how I ended up well getting a scholarship to go to Lambda and you know the the full circle of this because within the last month I went to see my son at the drama school I went to playing in an adaptation of the play that I met my wife that's crazy doing and it made me think all the way back to Jill Foster that what she gave to me by way of advocacy is now having a generational impact not just for actors I will never meet my own son and you know when I went to Lambda I was the only black student of 300 students at that drama school I went to see my son in his play and I graduated 27 years ago and I now go and talk at Lambda every now and again and a decent portion of the school is people of color from all walks of life from all over the world there's been some really great work done and when I say to those students when I say to my own son I cannot believe what I'm seeing in relation to what my experience was they have no real connection to what I'm saying and I find myself thinking that's exactly what you want you want them to not be able to understand what it would feel like to be the only I want you to take this level of diversity for granted yeah and and that is the driver for me with storytelling you know in terms of the characters I play I'm always to a certain degree taking roles as a kind of gift to my 12 year old self in terms of the things that I didn't see on screen CD Poitier was my hero because he was like looking at a Martian in relation to what I saw on British television in relation to what was possible growing up on a council estate in Islington and to be in a world now where that is not the experience of my kids where they're going oh I have no one to aspire to in terms of someone who looks like me that is a big big driver for why I do what I do yeah it's really incredible there's an amazing book I don't know if you've come across it ever but it's called Pictures at a Revolution and it's about it's a snapshot of the movie industry and I think 1967 when it's all changing but there's a big part of it that's about Sydney Poitier and how he came along and what a pivotal figure he was and I think in 67 he's in two big movies and he's in heat of the month heat of the night yeah where he slaps a white man yeah which is still still I get chills every time I see that scene he's slapped and he slaps the man instantly back yeah and it took people's breath away yeah in the theater and it still has that power absolutely you know so like you can see in some frames of a film the world changed absolutely and I think he's also in guess he was coming to dinner that year so those are the two films he does in that one year and but then you think about okay he fought those battles and then Denzel Washington had his battles to fight yeah they were you know different and it just keeps getting passed on and on and on and you want your son to grow up thinking what's the problem yes what's the big deal absolutely that's the gift absolutely it's the gift and what's great about that story you tell anyone who knows Sydney Poitier's body of work always thinks he won the Oscar for in the heat of the night because of the impact yeah of that slap and that roll and how groundbreaking it was and he wasn't even nominated yeah for that neither was he nominated for guess who's coming to dinner he won for lilies of the field yeah yeah yeah yeah earlier yeah earlier and for a role where he was being nice to white nuns and that was what was deemed permissible yeah for him back then it was deeply controversial to in one year you're gonna slap a white man and then fall in love with a white woman on our screens with us having given you an Oscar oh no yeah oh no and you know this is the thing about I've heard it said it's not about any given role it's about a body of work and that body of work is the thing that someone like me now takes for granted I look at Sydney Poitier and I go wow but when you read about him I met him and it was just oh my gosh I I can barely believe it actually happened and and he remember Oprah introduced me to him and she said oh yeah David's gonna play Martin Luther King and his eyes lit up and I just thought okay just be present just be present just soak it up soak it up but this is really happening don't say anything stupid just you know and you're saying that out loud I was I was I was I was but you know as you say you know that's that's that's what you want you know is to I look I think at its height storytelling and this is what I tried to do with newborn that was an incredibly uncomfortable role to play my dad passed away on the first day of filming he was dealing with colon cancer and you know I I had considered not taking the role I said to him look daddy I I just can't leave you we we were shooting in Canada and I and he was no no you must go you must go this is what you're here this one you're on this earth to do you must go and this is from my dad who originally was so against it yeah against what I I wanted to do as a vocation as a profession to that was his his last gesture well what I mean what a gift that your dad got to see it all happen and as much you know as much as we'd still like these people to be here I always think about the fact that when my parents got to see plenty they got to see plenty and they got to know that it wouldn't have happened if it weren't for them so that's and it's that's a gift that just keeps on giving it's huge it's the only reason I I went and I and I did it but I watch newborn now and I can see I can see I'm now removed from it because I've gone through my or I'm in the middle of my process of healing from the loss of my dad but I can see the price you know I still carry guilt about you know going off and doing this this movie even though I felt very passionate about doing it my dad insisted I go and do it but you know at its height I do think these stories cost you know to hold up a mirror to humanity especially when it's humanity's going through these very challenging things but it's just it's the greatest thing in the world to sort of in service of humanity kind of try and show us who we are. Well I always go back to a crazy world it's always been a crazy world and there are bad things happening and bad things have always been happening and everyone just has to try and be do their work well and and be a good citizen whatever that mean be a good person yeah and so because sometimes that's all you can do everything is so big but I think this is a tragic story because I think you would have made an amazing lawyer We have a lot. David, we have many good actors, but to find a really good lawyer is hard. Right? He could have been the next sweet James. You could have been Sweet James. Sweet James and his new protege, David. It's on it. All of those billboards I could have been on. You could have had so many billboards, but whatever, keep fucking around with acting. The movie's newborn. I loved it and I am just enthralled by you. You're such an amazing person to talk to. It's like a tonic when you come by. I always feel good after you've been here because you're delightfully funny and insightful and just lovely across the board. Thank you. So I will see you at the wedding. You know what this funny thing is? He thinks I'm kidding. It's going to be like the graduate where this ceremony is happening. Dude, wait to do it. All right, thank you, sir. Thank you. This is great. Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonom of Sessian and Mack Gourley, produced by me, Mack Gourley, executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Leo, theme song by The White Stripes, incidental music by Jimmy Vivina. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples, engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns, additional production support by Mars Melnick, talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Con. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco Hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of serious XM when you sign up at seriousxm.com/conon. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien, Needs a Friend, wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. [MUSIC]