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So I remember like all the people of the sketch shows that were happening at that time. And who's yeah, who's right, you know, you know, I have a feeling that you guys didn't like us. I didn't. Well, the thing is we're on Spotify. Hey, Tiger Belly video now available to watch on Spotify, everybody. Now, Spotify pay me and users get fewer ads and more eyes. We love fewer ads and more eyes. We love more eyes. Yeah. Get the third eye. Fourth. More and more videos and watch it. Oh, let's get into some meditation. What do you think? Oh, that's what this podcast is. It is. It's a self help spirituality podcast. I like it. Yeah. Plus graphic novel. Yeah. Plus is graphic. Ladies and gentlemen, oh, boy, what an episode we're about to have. Woo. Better, why is this Philadelphia Asian standing there? Question. Why Philadelphia? The movie. Oh, you have to feed up in your face. We already had it. Yeah. We have a sick Asian guy. Excuse it. Down sick Asian. Thanks. Yeah. Yeah, tend to band together. Yeah. Denzel still in the part two, but like, you know, you're the sick one. Anyway, welcome to the podcast. My name is Bobby Lee. I'm your host. I am your leader for tonight. And Sensei. And Sensei. Yeah. I was talking about the offshoot of the Lee karate slash kung fu martial arts in general. Yes. And, you know, I grew up with the karate from my family. Can you do some results? I cannot. No, we do different moves like, you know, neither do a little person. You can't say the M word anymore. Right. Yeah. Why do I do it? You know what? All slurs are gone. Oh, they're all good. They are all done. It's a good thing. It's a good thing. It's a good thing. I think it's a bad thing. It's a good thing. It's a bad thing. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're trying to weed it out of this one. Right. Yeah, slowly, but surely we are, you know, we have beautiful guests today. Beautiful. We have Sophie Bottles. We're doing an order of most beautiful. Yeah. That's true. Sophie Bottles. It's the first time you've done Tiger Valley. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Welcome. Thank you. We have the old, you know, semen. Oh, old semen. Yeah, Luke. What? Well, you've been just been here. You've been doing it every episode. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not talking about seafarer. Yeah, yeah. Okay. You made it dirty. That's not what I'm talking about. Oh, that's right. He has young semen. Yeah, that's right. You got some old semen on your shirt. I mean, he collects it. He has, you know, Clint Eastwood semen. You do? Yes, he does. He has a collection. Now, you're really kind of odd, but very cool collection. Yeah. Of semen. But nobody would want someone else to have, you wouldn't want someone to be collecting your semen. No, but people do collect, like Napoleon's penis and stuff. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I'm sure that's what? $500 million. I'd buy, pay for that. Of course. I think people will start collecting semen. I think that's, and I have it in, like, kind of, ornate perfume bottles. You are going to have the best chance of being the best collector. I mean, in the best way. Yeah. That's what it is. It's more difficult for us to collect that semen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's actually interesting. You brought that up. I brought a huge heart. A heart. A heart. A hopeful. A jars. You're putting a lot of semen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We'll get Dick Van Dyke's semen, because he's about to think about the bucket. He's still alive. I know. He seems very well. Are we spying? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. He pops up. Smiling? Smiling? Yeah. But he's a hundred and one now, no? Is that what it is? A hundredth birthday? Whatever. Okay. The wife? It's really age well sometimes. So why did they die? But they go a long time. Nobody's ever something. Yeah. That was the first time I've heard that. That's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. Like, in terms of like, you know what I mean? They look bad. Yeah. Oh, okay. Okay. They live a long time. Thank you for clarifying. No, because obviously they look bad. The fight was a shame. The fight was a horrible white person. I think it's looking shitty and old. So it's like, you've been waiting for a white person to look like this the whole time. You look good. You look bad. You're in a hospital bed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We got a color on him. But let's look. Why don't we introduce our main guest? Right. Please. Anchorman, movies, television, film, legend. To me. Legend? Yeah. David Kekner. Give him more. David. David and I recently worked together. Yes, we did. Yeah. Our first time we actually worked together. The first time we've ever worked together. We've been knowing each other for years. We've been knowing each other around the scene for years. Right. But the first time we worked together and I don't think it came out. No, no. He called you, right? He called me, yes. Yes. So we were honored enough to be asked to be part of Larry David's new sketch show for HBO. Celebrating the 250th anniversary of this hellhole of this whatever. This free country. Hellscape. Yeah. This ironically free country. Yes. So then we both got to call about three weeks before the premiere from Larry David. From Larry himself. And he goes. He didn't work. He didn't work. Yeah. I know why. Yeah. He's had his largest voice. Yeah. They don't work. It was a funny and close impression. That's how he sounded to me. Can I take a whack? Why? I think it didn't work. Me. No, no, no, no. That's what I take from it. No, no, no, not at all. It was against his normal formula. So I thought about it for a minute. I was like, why didn't it work? So not only Larry interrupts people's lives in a way. He makes an intrusion into their life. But he's in a position where it does interrupt their life because of his peculiarities. I'm looking for Sophie to help me with words. Anyway. You can take a sketch. Here's the thing. And every other sketch, Larry ensures himself into people's lives and becomes a problem. Now, it looks like an art sketch, Larry's inserting himself in our lives and becomes a problem, but it's not because we don't need him. Oh, right, right. We don't need him. Had he said, I'll be right back with X, Y, and Z, then we could have a chance to be disappointed. Yeah. But there's no stakes. Right. So the stakes for him was he's going to lose big because he doesn't get in on the gold. But that wasn't enough drama to sustain the sketch. Well, I didn't think of it that way. I didn't either. Yeah, yeah. I thought of it. No, well, you did. He said he just didn't work. Yeah. Then he gave it some thought. I'm like, oh, because he went away from his form. That's not how I took it. I took it like, oh, I was terrible. No. It's important to take all editing personally. Yeah. I like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, because here's what I thought I fucked up at is I was interrupting trying to be funny. That's okay. Yeah. And I think at one point, they're like, yeah, it's not like that. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No. I didn't get that note. Yeah, yeah. I got it. We're improvising. Yeah. So it's all fair. And that's the guy. Yeah. The note doesn't shut it down. Yeah. What it does is it reminds us, okay, here's where you want me to this lane. Okay, very good. Right. That's divine the lane. Yeah. Just mine. Mine from there. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's true thinking. Yeah. And sometimes they were like, it's too fun. It was too, like, you're trying. It's about David. Right. Yeah, it's about Larry. Oh, you were outshining him. That was the problem. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's it. Wow, Bobby. That's what I said. That's how I was going. I read it wrong. He believed it. He believed it. He believed it was not within the plot. Yes. That's probably more. So what I took from it, when he called me, I didn't think that it's just when I went to the premiere. And I saw all the other sketches. Yeah. And then I went, oh, you know, I should have played it more straight. Well, but that wasn't. I don't think that was the problem. Okay. That particular formula didn't work because we didn't he wasn't interrupting our lives. Yeah. He did momentarily, but not in such a way that we didn't need him. He normally comes into people's lives and he turns the apple card over.
and they're all sitting there going, "Why?" Right? Yeah. But that's not the case with this one. I didn't make it the premiere because Mike, I got the days mixed up. What? -Yeah, she's gonna see you there. -I know. Yeah. Well, that's not true. Actually, I told this young man something. -No, no. -Luke, tell me what, David said. -Well, but be nice. -Okay. Well, I actually, I. There was a scheduling error. -Scheduling error. Oh, good. Okay, very good. Because I've got a pretty full life. I've got the five kids, and I travel every weekend. And so I think I was expecting a little bit more of notice that, "Hey, remember you got that big thing tonight?" -Pretty big deal. -Yeah. -I mean, of all the things I'd like to do in my life, that would have been one of them. -Yes. -It was a great time. Were the Obama's there? -D, we're not. -Okay. Yeah. That makes. That makes you. Yeah, yeah. -That's why you were. -Yeah. Because they weren't there because you thought they might be there. -Obama's kids were at the comedy store the other night. -Really? -No. -Other's, yeah. And I was sitting in that back booth in the main room watching the show, and I was there with my friend, and my friend had just hooked up with a comic, and we saw him. -Okay. -This is relevant. This is relevant. This is relevant. He was, like, walked into the room, and we clocked him, because we wanted to see how he was going to act after they hooked up. And then he just kind of, like, walked by and didn't really talk to us, and then I followed him out to give him a piece of my mind. And then I went up to him, kind of, coming in hot, and he was like, "Oh, my God, I freak out. That's Sasha and Malia, right? Right next to you." And I was like, "Oh, okay." And then I went in, and I told my friend, and then we would just watch them watch the show the whole time. -Wow. -It was actually a very happy ending. -Is there security with them? -I think so, but they were hanging back. -Yeah, I mean, they let them live their lives. -Yeah, they weren't in the booth. -Yeah, that's such a difficult life to have forever. -Yeah. -Especially because on top of it, you're a young lady. -Sure, I think all young ladies should have security. -Yeah, that is true. That is true. -Yeah. -Yeah, you've got to get that. -Security and. -So you should also get their menstrual cycle off. I do believe that. -You get it off? -Yeah. -Like, you know how it's going to work. -Oh, yeah. -Oh, yeah. -Yeah, I thought you meant it off, like, turn it off. -No, no, sure. -No, you should have that time off. -Thank you. -Every month. -Thank you. -You know what, fuck, you turn it off, too. -I support you. -Oh, dude, I don't like that. -It's free, free, free, free, free, that. -Is there a dial on that thing? [laughter] -You guys feel pretty comfortable talking about menstrual cycles. -Yeah. -You all have sisters, daughters. -I have been married. I have three sisters. I had a mother. I have three daughters. -Oh. -So, wow. -Lots of blood. -No, it's all fine. -Yeah. -Yeah. -Here's the thing I love. My daughter, we were in wedding in Kansas City a year ago. -And who's wedding? -With my nephews. -Okay. -You don't know him. [laughter] -You thought you were just like Brad Pitt later. -Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. -Yeah. -I got excited. -Oh, I see. [laughter] -Anyway, my daughter had, I don't have to reframe this, but she needed a tampon. And she, she mentioned, if I asked my dad for a tampon, it'd be here under five minutes. -Yeah. -Which is true. -No, how? -Because I would go get one from the front desk or whatever it took. -Okay, but there's no tampons around. -Did you ever go get it? -No, situation where there's no tampons around for my-- -There's no tampons around. -We're in a city. -Okay, you're in a city. -In a hotel. -Not a church. I'm sure there's one in the church. Of course there is. -Okay. I mean, used ones are fine. -You're in-- [laughter] -You know what, there's so many in this-- my house. -Of course there is. -Yeah. [laughter] -Let me know, no, can you-- -I have a girlfriend. -Yes, yes, yes. -Jules is like my daughter. She probably has some. I just-- they're not on the kitchen table. That's what I'm talking about. -And tampons everywhere. -Okay, let's move on from that. I believe you, I believe you. -Okay. -Yeah, yeah. -My question to you, David, is how quickly could you produce a pad? [laughter] -It's tricky. -It depends on where it is. I mean, we're at a hotel in this situation. -No, you're in the country. -Now you're in the country. -No, in the country. Well, I'm probably going to just probably rip part of my shirt. [laughter] -It's some, hey, collect some hair. -Yeah. -That almost feels like putting the jacket on the puddle. [laughter] -Could you just take like a used t-shirt and make something? Can you do that? -Yeah. -What do people do like toilet paper if you're in a pinch? -Oh, you're in a-- oh, really? -Yeah. -Wow. -Yeah. -It is why. -But it turns into like a very weird paper mache. [laughter] It's not ideal. -Yeah, yeah. -I'm sure it comes up every day. -Yeah. -Yeah. -Wow. We don't-- we don't experience it. -Men don't-- men don't-- -But men have hormonal cycles too. It's just 24 hours instead of, like, months. -We do? -We do. -That's what men have most testosterone in the morning when you wake up. -Mm-hmm. -And then it goes down throughout the day. -Where's mine? -Yeah. [laughter] -Yeah, where's my pad? -Yeah, yeah, yeah. -So this is PT right now. I'm seeing PT from you guys right now. -Yeah, yeah. -I see. Wow. You know, having a girlfriend again, I realize the extra problems they have in terms of tramps. Right? -You forget about those things. -I'm saying, yeah. -Yeah, we forget about them because we never thought about them. -Yeah. [laughter] -It doesn't happen to us every-- -Yeah, yeah. -We forget about them. -And, you know, it's much worse for some ladies. -I have a pretty easy time, but I try not to, like, you know, put that out there too much. -Right. -Here we go. -So don't like when you're having a lot of the science. -Okay. -Here we go, size. -Yeah, yeah. So what's the orange? -I can't. -Yeah, I can't. -I don't like them. -Yeah. -I'm not into it. -What's the blue? -It's very upsetting. -They're just coming in. -Yeah, it's with the moon cycles as well. They're synced up with the moon, like a werewolf. -Wow. [laughter] -It is. It's like a tie. -Yeah. -But it's like a good werewolf, you know. -Yeah, yeah. -Not like a scary one. -You wanted to get off this conversation. Why? Well, you said, "Okay, let's move on." -I did? -No, I do. I do. I want to talk about menopause. -Okay. -Yeah. -Let's talk about the premier. -All right. [laughter] -Let's say it's a menopause. [laughter] -I see your periods. I raise you menopause. -Yeah. [laughter] -We're not going to be able to get back to it. -All right, let's go back. -So you went. -What's this like a pop fiction move? Like, pop like, we can go back. -Yeah. -No, didn't you? -Did you have a plus one? -I did. My girlfriend. -Wow, I don't think I had a plus one. -Yeah, you did. -Oh, I did well. -100% you did. -I messed up. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. -I'm pretty thin. -You have a girlfriend now. -Yeah, I did. I just said it. -You mentioned it so many times. [laughter] -Girlfriend. -My girlfriend was in. -Yeah. -Okay, sorry. I won't bring her up again. -No, it's just like you want to talk about her. -Yeah, to be celebrated. -It should be celebrated. -If I had to celebrate your love. -I wouldn't have missed her beer. -Yeah. [laughter] -I scoured the room to see if you were there. -Oh. -I would have found you. -Yeah. -Well, I mean, we were all clumped together. -Oh, cast? -Wow. -No, yeah, it was like, you know, my castle. You know what I mean? And Vince Vaughn was like over here. And it was, we're all kind of, you know, in a little group. -It'd been fun. -Yeah. -I was very disappointed. -It's okay. -I know. -Yeah. -I mean, you've been a bigger premieres. -Have I? -Yeah, the Anchor Man premieres. -Okay. -Those are huge. -Premiers are fun. -Yeah. -Come on, we're trying to say it's out of me. -No. -Hey! -It was one of the better premieres. -It does sound fun. -Yeah. -Because there was community there. -Yeah. -That's the thing. You just, you might come across someone's mind. Because it is a networking. -Mm-hmm. -Yeah. -Well, you've never seen that. -I've never seen those out. -Because it was all of us. And we were actually before it even came on. We were laughing so hard. -Wow. -And just bonding for life in a phase. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. -You only could if you were there. -It felt like your life there. -Yeah. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Yeah. -And it was like -- -But she was my life. -Yeah. -Okay. -I don't want to, you know, rattle any feathers. -Yeah. -A term? -Yeah. -Rattle. -Yeah. -I don't want to rattle any feathers. -It might be ruffle. -Yeah. -You can rattle them. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. -You can do all kinds of things with feathers. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Throw a snake at it. -Yeah. -That is absolutely true. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. -I had to think about that for a second. -That's probably one of your karate moves, but anyway. -Rattle the snake. -It really is. -And you pull it back. -Okay, so anyway. -Yeah. -Baby belt. It's for you. -For you. -Baby belt. -Belt. -It's for you. -For you. -It's for you. -You guys, here's a question. Are you getting rewarded for paying your rent or mortgage right now? You better. 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[email protected]/belly. If you're free online visit hymns.com/belly. Feature products include complex drug products with FDA, just not a proof or verify for safety effectiveness or quality. Prescription required. Here is where it's all play fairies. these voices are full details, the strictions, and important safety information. ♪ Hams ♪ ♪ Hams ♪ ♪ Hams ♪ ♪ Hams ♪ (upbeat music) - It was one of the better human experiences of my life. - Wow. - Thank God. - I love you. - Wow, why are you rushing it, thank God. - It's fine. I think if I really think about it. - You've heard of the book, The Roadless Traveled. - Yeah. (laughing) - That's my life. - Yeah. - So, I used to be an assistant, and I-- - To whom? - To an agent, to a Hollywood agent, and I messed up so much stuff for it. - I boss missed so much stuff. - Is you get fired, be honest. - He was the nicest guy ever, so like I didn't get fired, but a normal regular person would have fired me for sure. - Yeah. - It was like, he was been very young. - This was about a year ago, maybe two years ago. - You look very young. - Yeah, he's very young. - I think you messed up, that was really bad. - Yeah, one time I sent him to a meeting in New York, and I sent him to the, I looked up the address, copy, paste it, sent him, said go to this address, blah, blah, blah, he goes, gets there, shows up, it's a Chinese restaurant, it's like not the office at all. He calls me, and it's like, where did you get this address? Which was, you know, through intuition, I knew this means he's probably in the wrong place. No one ever calls you and goes, where did you get this address? I'm in the exact right now. - Yeah. - Why are you feeling at this point? - Panicked, I was like, I couldn't breathe. I was like, oh, this is really bad. I just started working for him too. And he was in Brooklyn, and the actual address was in Manhattan right across the street from his hotel. He had to take a 45 minute train drive. He ended up being two hours late for the meeting. I sent him to the right address, he gets there, he's like, what floor is it on? I'm like, floor? Like, I don't realize that in New York, like everything's on a floor. It's not just like the address, and I had to call an assistant inside the building, and they had to scream out the window, to start screaming his name. - Oh, so I think it's a movie. - It's a movie, it's a movie, it's a movie. - The agency wasn't. - You could say it. - Wow, you would think that it would be like a small movie, you know? - Yeah, it's a big, yeah, yeah. - Luckily, he was the nicest guy ever, and was pretty chill about it, but it was definitely like a huge, I mean, he was so-- - Do other assistants help each other? Is there a network of like camaraderie? I mean, the yelling out the window is like, that's a pretty good move to get a general direction? - I, that assistant, I mean, it was, they help you for the most part. - Is there a general brotherhood? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - You are generally, this is, think about this, okay? Right? There's got to be a floor, right? And also a suite number. - You're right. - Okay. - Yeah, I messed that up. - And as an assistant, if you don't know that, you're a fucking fire! - Yeah, but also like, you're fire! - You're in the ancient, like you know, you know-- - They don't know anything. - They don't know anything. - Yeah, they haven't given me anything in two years. - Well, here's the thing. (laughing) I was in a period where I was like, writing on a show and touring every weekend. And so I had an assistant during that period. And my agent also had an assistant and my manager also had an assistant. And so my manager and I, both of our assistants, were like, unavailable for a week or two. And we were like, walking around the city in diapers. (laughing) We didn't get anything together. Nobody can do anything. - It's crazy, I've got my boss, like, passport slash minute, all this stuff. I remember once he walked by the desk one day, was just like, you've been paying my credit card, right? And I was like, yeah. (laughing) Yeah, totally. And then I have to figure out like, okay, how do I get this guy's password and figure out how to start paying his credit card without him realizing that I haven't been. - Why does it have a business manager? - Yeah. - He's an assistant. - Oh, an assistant? - I'm the assistant, so I do it. - I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, yeah, yeah. - I don't have a business manager, yeah, in terms of that. - That's the thing you trust, you trust somebody with absolutely everything. - Passport, bank stuff, like, it's so crazy, the reins you hand over when you can't handle doing it yourself. - Yeah, yeah, I have that, people doing things for me. I don't know how anything works. - Of course, yeah. - Well, I didn't pay taxes for rumor. (laughing) - I didn't pay taxes, we weren't at this point. (laughing) - Wait, you gotta hear it. This is gonna be a car roll. - I'm gonna pay taxes. - Take a situation here. - What happened? - I didn't pay taxes. When I was on Matt TV, I didn't pay any taxes. - You didn't know you had to. - I didn't know I had to. - Right, I thought it just automatically happened. - Well, in a way it does, but you start to file. - Yeah, I never did that. - You know, I luck it's taken off, right? - Yeah, that's what I said. They take it off. - They take it off. - What happened? - And then one day, I was like, you know, everything shut down, my bank accounts, everything was shut down, and then all of a sudden-- - The IRS. - Yeah, the IRS took over, and then all of a sudden, I had to get, you know what I mean? A business manager to help me get started. - I did too. I got a $23,000 bill from the IRS. Because, you know, we work a lot, and so you'll have, you know, how many different jobs in a year. And so you've got all of these pay steps, and all these things are trying to figure out, it is pretty complex. - Yeah. - I had hundreds and thousands at a heart. - Oh, it was bad. - Because you didn't pay for 10 years. So did you-- - It was a lot. - So did you negotiate? - Are you writing calls or, like, the creditors weren't coming? - No, I didn't know. Well, I didn't never check the mail, or, like, anything, like, all my email, I think, right? So I was like, literally like, eat a bathroom, like, I thought I was gonna, I thought I was all over. Well, prison for 50 years, like, El Capone. (all laughing) - Oh, that's it, bro. - If you've got, if you've got, if you've got, simplest, I'll get you in taxes. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - In Canada, when you're, because I was, I didn't pay my taxes for years either, 'cause I was a Canadian, stand, I was making $9,000 a year. I like, I had no, and so, in Canada, when you're getting in trouble from the government, you get letters in the mail that are in a brown envelope. And I remember just always seeing them, and just putting them straight into the building, physically, it's again, out-ground, brown. (all laughing) - At $9,000, I don't think they should touch it. - I don't think they should even contact me. - Exactly. - Exactly. - It's about the filing of it, it's not about paying it. - You sound just like them, David. (all laughing) - Well, that's what they're doing. - Yeah, that's what they're doing. - That should be part of the Canadian government. (all laughing) - I'm crazy right now. (all laughing) - That's a reason for it. You probably would get money back. - You sound like my dad. (all laughing) - How old is your dad? - How old is my dad? - Yeah, yeah. - Great question. And I hope you stay curious. (all laughing) - Like 60? - Like 60, you don't know how the file is? Do you guys not have a relationship? - No, we have a great one. - You don't know how old your dad is? - I don't know how old anybody is. - How old is your dad? - Are you Dr. Phil? - What's going on here? - He's passed away. - Well, lucky you, you don't have to know. - You don't have to know. - Today's the first day. - What have been? - That true. - Your face, don't you? - Not even your face. It's fine. (all laughing) I'm 63, do you know what your dad was born? - No. (all laughing) - Well, let me ask you, can I ask you this question? 'Cause I've been really thinking about my age. Okay, so I'm, I'll be 55 in September, okay. - You guys both look great, by the way. - Yeah, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Hope you was it. Like, what do you think of me? - Anyway, yeah. - I don't know, I wanna sink into this, right? Thank you. - You're welcome. - Okay, okay. (all laughing) - Are you not good with compliments? Both of you? - Sometimes when they say it, I don't know if they're really good. - Of course. - Yeah. - Are you really being real? - Yeah. - Okay, good, thank you, thank you. Thank you. But thank you so much. (all laughing) - What happened? What happened? - Yeah. (all laughing) - I'm a little, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
is breaking down a little bit. You can just tell, like, you know what I mean, I'm trying to pull up, right? And that's just like, I'm done for like a week. But you're trying. That's impossible. Yeah. They're very hard. Yeah. Because I got a pull up machine from Tik Tok. He set it up. Alex set it up. It's not. Yeah. What's the machine? It's the part. Okay. You don't turn it on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You do dips, right? Yeah. So you know, and Alex was saying, just hang. Yeah. It's good for your spine. You could for your spine. Yeah. You know, and I can hang for what? Four seconds. That's great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, my point is, is that, you know, do you, you're 63 now? I'll be 64 now. Is there any, can you tell me where the physical changes happen or now? You have to, you have to keep walking. That's all you had to do. Like the Japanese. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. It starts smoking. So the big, the big thing is things come along like, you know, you just start getting a belly that's harder to get rid of. Yeah. My belly. Yeah. You just have to start eating better. It's visceral fat, I hear. Is that right? Yeah. I want to know when all the sounds start because men make the craziest sounds. Thank you. They start in your late 50s. Everyone's pointing at me right now because it's a perfect thing. It's perfect. I have my act now. It's my dad used to make sounds. Yeah. And you're like, I'm wondering when that happens. You're late 50s, I think. Okay. It's first time. Let's stuff like this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When you're eating in the sink and stuff, - Oh my God, someone's singing in the sink. - So the old Korean men in the spa's do this sound, okay. - Igu, Igu, Igu, Igu, Igu, Igu. - Igu? - Igu, Igu. - Igu. - Igu. - And they cut, I don't know what it means. - Oh. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what it means. - Yeah, Korean. But it's, and then they touch a part of their body. Right? So they go, Igu, Igu, Igu, Igu. - Right, Igu. Oh, is that a rick or whatever. Yeah. But that's a Korean sound, you know. - Oh, right, right. What's in a American sound that one? That's the throat clearing, yes, yes. - That sound, what is going on in that sound? - It's effort for no reason. I, yeah, that's unnecessary effort. It's car sputtering up. - Yeah. Like you can't really get going. - When you're hurting it, you've heard a lawn mower. - Yeah, exactly. Going up a hill with my annual. - My dad's list of, you go up, you know, all right, all right. - Oh, is it, is it pain-related? No, no, not at all. - Oh, yeah, is it physical? - Tell me the physics and the, there's no sense. - I think they're doing it for attention. - I, I think it's for me. It's for commentary. I'll catch myself. Oh my god. Or my kids will say, "Dad, you're making so many noises." - I get to talk to my dad about sying in movie theaters. - Oh, yeah, for sure. - You put a movie and he would like really, I guess, not enjoy a trailer and he'd go, "Ugh." - Yeah. I do. - But he's like, there's even notice that he's doing it. - Yeah. I'll say, "Pass." Like some trailers, oh my god, I'm just like, "Pass." - Yeah. Like, how do you make that? - But sometimes you're like, "Smash." - All right. A lot of it's "Smash." - Yeah. - Yeah. - Let me say something. Did you guys see the Odyssey? - Yes. - Yes. - Did you see it on 70? - 70. - What a asshole. - No. - I don't know how to spell it. - The way the Odyssey is. - I said it on, I said 70. - No. - I almost can't afford 70. - Yeah. Some of us are working class. - I don't know. It's just that it was-- - I saw it at AMC. - They started selling it a year in advance. They've been sold out. - I know. I saw it. - Yeah. I saw it at the regal in North Hollywood. - Okay. - Yeah. - It's nothing. - I saw it at the Grove. - Yeah. That's nice. - I haven't seen it yet. - You haven't seen it yet. - No. - Well, I wanted to go with all the kids. So that's tough to organize. - Okay. - But you want to see it in 70. - I'd like to. - Yeah. - And I think thank you for following my lead in 70. - Yeah. - We're too hip for this room. But yeah, that's a great experience. When we saw, what's the last one from Nolan? - Oppenheimer. - Yes, Oppenheimer. - In 70. And where were we? Glendale. My kids were just kind of fighting to go. They didn't want to go. They were resisting. - Yeah. - But I'm like, you're going to, they love-- - Well, how old are they? - What's the strength? - So Charlie's 27, Marcus 24, Sergeant, and Audrey are now 20, and Eva's 15. So this was two years ago, so then subtract-- - That's a good spread. That's a good spread. And everybody's got lots of stuff going on. So that is hard to bring. - Right, very hard to bring. - Eva's at Sleepway Camp. And she's an LIT, not a CIT. I always thought CIT-- - We're in training. - Oh, we're in training. - I was. - Thank you. - I was. - Oh, thank you. - Because I actually said, what's LIT mean? - Yeah. - I said, is it litigant and training? She said, what's the litigant? I'm like, you're my smart girl. - You're the smart one. - She is. I have to tell a quick story. May I? You can do whatever you want. You're the guy. - May I? - You're on our guest. - He's quick. - I just had to brag a little bit. You should say, make it quick. - Oh, he said, I want to tell a quick story. I'll be taking it. - So remember the national walk out day, early this year was January. We weren't supposed to go to work. So I got an email that day. I was in-- - Or buy anything, right? - Right. - Yeah. - I was in Louisville, Kentucky. - I bought so much that day. - Did you? (laughing) - Because you're the relayed. You're the relayed. - You're the relayed. - Yeah, you're the relayed. - So anyway, and he didn't need it. - Yeah, it's like you're going to bought it. It's an urgent purchase, a ladder. (laughing) - But you are a roofer. (laughing) So anyway, I got an email from her school that there had been a walk out. Like they, you know, in solidarity. And then Eve calls me later that day. She was, "Dad, did you hear about today at school?" I said, "Yeah." She goes, "Do you know who started it?" I said, "No, she was, I didn't. She's a freshman." - Wow. - Wow. - And then I go, they have dad's club. So like four times a year, we'll come and cook lunch for the girls, right? And this woman came up to me. She goes, "Oh, you must be Eve's dad "because her face is your face, which is true." - Yeah. - And she hates it. But she goes, "That day of the walk out, "the speech she gave me." I said, "Speech." - Wow. - Right? - That's great. - She's leading a whole, like Lord of the fly. - Yeah. - Yeah, that's so exciting. - Yeah, I know. - So cool. And have you always tried to maintain like an anti-government household? - Not anti-government, but a good person. - In the capitalist or like what is that? - Well, just being a good person. - Yeah. - Yes. - And that should align you with all the right ideals. - No, that gives me hope, actually, David. - Well, I'll tell you because you hear a lot of young people staying in basements, you know what I mean? The lonely epidemic thing that's going on with young men. And then you see that, "To you, what are you talking about?" - That's the thing I see. - Oh, I understand. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't know this to me. - I didn't mean it. - I wasn't, I was doing it to the idea that these men are, you know, that's a choice to disengage. And that's now, that's where this darn thing needs to go away. - But it destroyed everything. - Finish your thought. - Well, yeah, I will. Thank you. (laughing) - I'm sorry I ended up to like you, the way you did in the three, David. (laughing) - Oh, so you held a resentment. (laughing) - Yeah, you do, so you knew he was a president. - You held a resentment. - I just, oh my gosh. - It was a callback and I never even noticed it. You brought it up and that's something that never even crossed my radar. - Yeah, what's Ep Quick here, you know? - So I don't even know what I was ranting about. What was it, oh, yeah, so what I'm saying is that, you know, it gives me a hope because, you know, at least on my, you know, algorithm, right? You see a lot of dystopian things going on with young people, right? And for me to see young people really take its initiative and become a leader, like your daughter, and like, that gives me a lot of fucking hope. - I think that it's actually not as bad as everyone was saying it is because a lot of those kids that were like weirdly socially affected by COVID, by missing like a chunk of social, socializing years with COVID are now starting to enter the age where they can like drink alcohol and stuff. And everyone's always talking about how like, Gen Z doesn't drink alcohol and it's like, 'cause they were children. - Right, yeah. - And so I think as soon as they start like going to college and partying and drinking and having sex with each other, 'cause that's also a big part, they're just like not fucking. But I think as soon as they, and no matter how many times I ask them to, and so I think that as soon as these kids start drinking alcohol, what is this? - They put up a picture, sorry. - What are you doing? - This is a picture of not the right time. - I took, done this like five minutes ago. - We'll get that in a second. - Who's drinking and fucking in there? - Hey, it's my dad. - No, no, that's me and my kid. - All right, yeah. - So no one, go ahead. - That's nice. - It took him to Ireland last year, last summer. - It does sound like the daughter who is staging a walk out and giving a speech and staging a revolution is the scariest person to ask to go see Oppenheimer with you. - Just like so on the movies. - Under no jerk, I'm saying. - Well, we'll be going out of it. - Have you finished your point or not? - No, my point was just I think as soon as they start drinking, a lot of the weirdness that we're worried about with that generation is gonna mellow out, 'cause they're weird socially and they're not having sex with each other, and I think alcohol will smooth that out. - Oh, wow, wow, wow, yeah. Good point, good point. - I'll call the answer. - Alcohol is always the answer. - Yes, yeah. - Well, there's too much of the answer for that. (laughing) - It depends how much you question. - Yeah, yeah. - So wow, five children. - My kids, there's Charlie on the right. - And Audrey is one of the twins, and then her twin brother Sergeant's all the way to the left on our screen. - Yeah. - And then Margo is the 24 year old, and then there's our champion, Eve. - Oh, wow. - Wow. - Wow. - It's a good squad. - It's a good squad, yeah. And they look seem so happy. - Oh, we had a great time. - Is it hard to travel with like a big family like that, or is it? - Yeah. - It's offensive.
- Is everyone at their own room? - No. - Oh, people share the brother share. - No, no. - I think that's a big part of a family trip is the accommodation should be, like everyone should have to share room. - Oh yeah. - I think that's important. - We just went back for a family reunion and they were resisting that 'cause it's been a couple of years, but man, they had the best time. I've gotten from one of six. So there are 26 grandkids, that my parents have 26 grandkids, even though they're both passed away. But anyway, they all bonded really hard. But when your son goes, "Dad, I don't wanna go this year." - Right. - Like, "Dad, I've got my own life." - Plus, it's over the 4th of July, and I'm like, "Dad, LA is not the place to be on the 4th of July." - So what do you say when you're dead? - It's important that we do this. - But, "Dad, dude, I'm going to arrive." - Why do you think he's gonna talk that? - I don't know. - I made that choice. Can I make the choice? - Yeah, I'm like, "I'm not like you, Dad. I paint." All right, I'm not an actor. Yeah, bad. - Oh, yeah, okay, so are your kids? Do they express interest in showbiz at all, and how do you feel about that? - I'm fine with it. Just do it, go all the way. Go all the way. Are any of them actors? - Not quite. Okay. One of them has kind of been entertaining it. - Yeah. - And with less pursuit. Now, if you wanna go to TikTok, Sargento_official, Sargento_official, he sings "Koritos," which is a Mexican, a style of Mexican music. - Are you an Mexican? - No. - Okay, okay. Sometimes, I give my skin. - I know, but I know he could be a half. - With this skin, this is, it's almost August. - I know, I'm white as a sheep. - Like Tom Segur is half Peruvian. - Yeah, even Louis VK, Mexican. - Yeah, he's Mexican too. You're gonna remain someone I'm saying. - Just like you. - Some of the whites are just subdev. - Okay, yeah, yeah. - No, not this one. - Okay, anyway, okay. - So, you're his son? - There it is. Sargento_official, so he went, - Go to this one, I'm gonna him sing or something. - What? - Oh. - There's a music detail down below. Little blower. But yeah, you'll hear him sing. That's what he's doing in each one of these. - Wow, go check him out. Yeah, that's awesome. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, go. - You guys put the headphones on, you can hear it. - Oh, oh. (upbeat music) (singing in foreign language) - Okay. (singing in foreign language) (laughing) - Yeah, he might as well be brown. - Yeah. - So he went to Latin America instead of college, where his sister went to university. He went to Latin America to do language immersion. And then his buddies dad owns a recording studio in Van Aes, and my son wanted to go back to Guatemala, 'cause he had jobs that he could do. But I heard him, there's tape that he made. I say tape, it's not a tape, obviously. This digital record, this digital thing. Story's like, call it that, call it that, call it that. And I said, you're not going anywhere, dude. You're staying here and following this through. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - He did go back to Guatemala for two weeks, but I mean, he's so he's pursuing it. They have a favorite event tomorrow night in Oxnard. - That's amazing. - Yeah, so it's, you seem like a great father. - I do, I try, that's all you do is try. Now look, now I wish I, you do wish you could go back because you can't go back, I know you can't. Well, all you do is what you do now, you can, I've told my kids, I said, if I have to apologize for anything, have no fear, I will not fight you on it, I will apologize and then make amends. - Wow, yeah. - And so how do you talk to your sons about man stuff? Because I feel like that is like a really hard thing for dads to do sometimes because when you were their age, it was kind of different as it is for everyone. - Well, my parents are severe, we're severely Catholic. So there was no talk, no, no, yeah. So no, we talk about everything. - And so when did you choose that you were going to talk to your kids? - About serious stuff. - Oh, forever, yeah, from the beginning. I'm too much, I'm always trying to give them advice. - Oh, you're trying to, you're too there emotionally. - Yeah, no. - Oh, yeah, I'm 100%, you put on a commercial, I will ball my eyes out and then look down the couch and say, yep, there he goes. - Yeah, my dad was never not like that. He was very, death was always the end answer to everything. - What's true? - Oh, he was going to kill you? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - He wasn't doing you. - He wasn't, everything was just that. - It wasn't death, isn't it? - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Hi, you, yes, I don't, I'm a homeless, when you get rude, I kill you. And then you're like, okay, these are things that I don't wanna die. So I'm just gonna do, you know what I mean? Yeah, things that he said. - I think I'm very simple. - It's very simple, very simple. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you wouldn't be good to don't rude it. - Is that my top? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, that's what I mean. - He would even do demonstrations of what it would be. You know, yeah, yeah, yeah. - So yeah. - To show that he's serious. - Well, he didn't speak a lot of English, and he was like just a very angry Korean man. - Oh, you have North or South Korea? - North, obviously. - I don't know, I don't know, I forgot to read your bio before I came to South Korea, yeah, obviously. I'm an oon, we changed it out at the border, but yeah, but yeah, so a father, and then, but you have one person in the house now. - Well, my house? - Yeah. - No, no, okay, they'll come around. So it's Charlie, and there's Sergeant Lozumi, and Audrey's here for the summer. Now, I'm so happy 'cause Eve just got a, the canopy bed, and a new dresser and side table, because she had felt more comfortable staying in her mother's. - Okay. - And so when she said she wanted that, I'm like, bang. And then, so she-- - Oh, that's so, my parents are not together, and it was really like, when my dad found out that there was something maybe my mom wouldn't get me, he was like, this is how I went. (laughing) - You do what I win. - Oh, you want a tube top? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Come on over. - Oh, wow, wow. - No, that's not-- - No, no, no, no, no. (laughing) - He never touched me. Just with the camera, he never was attracted to me. - It was just two socks, though. Anyway, hop. (laughing) - It's still me a tube top. - Yeah, yeah. So there is, there is like this little hidden kind of war that goes on in a divorce or not. - Oh, yeah. - Oh, yeah. - Oh, we had fun. - No, that's not fun. - Oh, that sounds fun. - No, it was, it was acrobony, still is. - It is fun, it is fun. - Yeah, I think it's fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, I prefer not to have ever been there. But anyway, yeah, yeah, there's a lot of pain, I'm sorry. - That's okay, I get you through it, you know? It's whatever, just, it's-- - Is all your children from the same wife? - Yeah, yeah, okay. - Tell me, I have everything. - Real quick. - You don't have to be too quick about it because you know, these are things that I don't want to get out of here. (laughing) - Okay, I don't really want to get out of here. - No, good. - You're not having fun. - Of course, I'm having fun. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's so we fun with you. - But there's the biggest night of my life for David. (laughing) - Yeah, I figured it out. - Very, very David-proof. (laughing) - We got married and we were pregnant in two months. - Wow. - And think about it. I thought she'd been on the pill for 10 years. People have problem conceiving. - Yeah. - Fertility's not our problem. - Okay. - So, but then she nearly dies during the childbirth because she had placenta, a creature where the placenta grows into the uterus. So as she's giving birth, this emergency c-section, she's bleeding to death. And so they had to take her uterus. And they had to ask me because I was the oldest white man in the room, what to do at the female part. (laughing) - And you put out your cigar? - Yeah. (laughing) - Let me think. - As they said, "Sergear too close to the oxygen tank." (laughing) And so a couple doors blew off. So then, so she still had her ovaries. And so we actually had all our kids via, the rest of the four via surrogacy. So 100% are kids, just somebody else has to carry them, which is much more expensive. - Oh wow. - Yeah, it sounds expensive, yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - So anyway, that's how they all came about. - Oh, wow. - Wow. - That's why there's five. - That's so scary. - Yep, it sounds scary. - It was, it was very scary. - Yeah. - The day that we pulled eggs from her ovaries and come from my cock medical. Medical. (laughing) - All right, I'll cross off my cancels. - Two tops, cock juice. - Yeah, yeah. - So we got 11 embryos. We used our first three, got her daughter Margo, and then they froze the eight into two groups of four. And so a couple of years later, my, to me, I'm like, well, it wasn't necessarily the happiest marriage, but I'm from the Midwest, I'm like, I'm not going anywhere. So I wouldn't, when the idea like, let's try it again, I'm like, okay, whatever. I thought, you know, probably won't work. And that's when we got the twins. - Wow. - So don't work. - You know how to work life, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - And then so we had one group of four embryos left, and then she really wanted to try that. So I said, okay, and then boom. - Wow. - So I had my last child at 49, almost 50. - Wow. - Yeah, trust me, trust me. - Well, I do trust you. - Yeah. - I mean, the bone you said, wow. (laughing) You, you, you, you expressed everything that was going on and said, (coughing) - Okay, no, you're right, it's a lot. - That's a lot. - That's a lot, but I, I love it. I love my kids, and yeah, it's worth it. - Yeah, I believe it's worth it. - Someone asked me once, like your divorce, or your kids talked to you, like, talk to me. - Yeah. - They're mine. My daughter's want me to look 40 more years. - Yeah. - I think you might have the opportunity with AI. - Well, but, I don't know.
I told you I couldn't sleep last night 'cause I was looking at the phone right before I went to bed. - Yeah. - And then it's, I'm doing scrolling. Of course, you're not supposed to do that. And then my youngest place, Roblox. And then I shouldn't even say that on the air. - Yeah. - And that thing is a disaster. You've heard of all the-- - Yeah, it's pedophiles on Roblox. - Oh my God, that they make them live stream from really horrible stuff. - Mostly pedophiles on Roblox now. - Okay, okay. - No kids left. - I'd even know what Roblox is. - 'Cause he explained to me Roblox is right now. - Right now, explain to me Roblox. - You're never a game universe good, you do? - Yeah, I-- - When I was younger, I played Roblox a lot. It's basically just like, almost like a Minecraft-esque spin-off where you can play a bunch of different games in this emulator. It's almost like a mod for like a million other games. You can play Roblox Call of Duty or like Roblox, like Tornado Simulator, where you go in and you're in this Tornado thing or Roblox come over to my house and hang out and you go, "Okay, I'll play this one." - But do you create like a character or something? - Yeah, you have like a little Roblox guy. - A guy. - Is it an avatar? - Yeah. - It's an avatar, yeah. - It's an avatar and you can go, you can play like, yeah, like this is like riding your bike around in a neighborhood or whatever, or you can do it. - It's interesting 'cause the graphics are awful. - Yeah. - It's kind of-- - It's just charm though. - It's all about money. They make so much money. - Look at that money. 'Cause you've got to buy Roblox. - Yeah, Roblox. - And where do you play on your computer or can you play it on Xbox or? - They might have added it to Xbox, but it's for the computer. - I wanna play it so-- - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fun. - Roblox is fun. - I wanna dominate it, throw money at it. I'm gonna throw money at it, yeah, yeah. Wow, and so your son plays this? - My daughter. - Oh, daughter. - I think the other one's my two. She's the youngest, so she got it. - Yeah. - But her account's private, 'cause-- - Okay. - It wasn't 'til years later that I heard all this, these horror stories, she was dad. I'd been playing it for six years. (laughing) - Wow. - But dad, I love him. (laughing) - Yeah. - You hear these horror stories where-- - I absolutely, yeah. - Give me a horror story, like what could happen? - What's his name? Sean Ryan has this one guy on all the time who's super bright. And I like what? - I love Sean Ryan. And the guy who's on who's a name I don't know, you know what I'm talking about, the one guy that he's like a super hacker. He knows everything that's going on with technology. And he talks often about Roblox and what happens there. And once there was a dad, was a daughter who was being threatened by the Roblox pirates. And telling you, 'cause she had lifted her shirt or something, and they were telling her to keep doing it or something like that. The dad walks in. They tell him something, I forget what it was, but he then leaves and lets her continue. - Oh my God. It's, wow. - A lot of it's like blackmail and stuff like that. Like getting, you know-- - They get you to do one little thing, curse, curse for me. - Flash, curse or flash someone, yeah. So I'm sure it's smaller at first. That's so smart, David, is to get them to curse first. Start building out the red flag. - And I'll tell your parents, yeah. - But tell your parents if you don't, yeah. - Yeah, and then it's like, a lot of it is blackmail. It's very intense. So when I was like first, you know, 12 or like, whenever you start cat-fishing old men online. - Right. - I was like, you do this thing. - Thought I recognized the voice. - Close to my eyes. - We're saying we actually met in Canada first. That's right. - Tell me about that encounter. - Okay, but real quick, finish off the story. - So I didn't do roadblocks. We were like, MSN Messenger, and I forget there was another one that was also like, you made a little avatar. It was like, real world or something like that. I forget what that one was called. But it was so much fun to be a 12 year old girl and talking to old men online. - Really? - Yes. - Why is it fun? - It's fun because especially at that time, nobody knew what we were using the internet for. - Right. - Is Chris Hansen with you? - That was time that all that stuff was happening because it was the perfect culmination of like, the adults didn't know what we had access to on the internet. We were kind of creating the early shady corners of the internet for me and old men. It was, we had this exact, we had this incredible relationship. All my friends, it was like, it was like a big part of the internet use at the time. And for all of us, it was just me. Wait, you did roblox, you must be younger than me. - Well, there are, yes. And there are those moments where you do something crazy on the internet and I just remember the feeling of like, waking up the next morning going to school the next day and just the dread of like, what is going on? - Yeah. - I computer right now. I was like, I'm dealing with like the craziest shit of like, - Hey, I also like, did I close it? - Yeah, you do something, you're playing a game and a guy just like sends you your home address. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Wow. - Yeah. - You're like, okay, hold on, hold on. - Yeah, hold on, hold on. - Lock off, go home and you're just sitting there and silently like, what is it like? - Paranoid, wow. - My hair is being murdered. - This is not, this is not what God intended, I don't think. - No, this is terrible. - This is terrible. - This is terrible. - It's killing us. - I just saw, I think there's, they're gonna come out of the flip foot again. I can't wait 'cause I butt dial everybody all the time. - Well, if I touch this damn thing, someone's getting it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Give me your number. (laughing) - You don't have a code? - I have your roblox. - Yeah, but I just put it down. I forget to shut it off. You gotta shut it off. - Well, yeah. - How often is your flashlight turning on? - Oh, not often. - Not that often. - Not that often. 'Cause it's never a mom thing. That's more of a mom. - Really try to get it on. - My mom's flashlight is always on. (laughing) (laughing) Flashlights on every app is open and brightness at maximum. - Yeah. - Yes. - My mom is like, and then she's like, why is it slow? - Yeah. - My mom's voicemail is, "How do I?" (laughing) - Who are you? - That's like she's trying it in a while. - It's as if she was calling somebody. (laughing) - Yeah. - Yeah, but she doesn't know anything. But I use that a lot, the big flashlight. - Oh, you do? - Oh, at night? - Yeah. - Okay. - Yeah, it's pitch black in my room. - I just bought flashlights. - What did you do? - Yeah, I mean, that was a four-package somewhere. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's an old art, it's a handheld flashlight. - So I put them into it, the kids are really, what's that? - Yeah. - So now what I do is I hold the light up above their head and say licensed registration. (laughing) - That's a fun game. - For the old man. - Yeah. - How did you guys meet? You guys met in Canada. - Oh, yes. - Okay, so when did we meet in Canada? 'Cause I remember us meeting. - 2018. - This actually was quite fun. So it was right after I moved to America, I got booked on the Great American Comedy Festival. And you were like the big headliner. - Nice. - Of that, do you remember it was in Nebraska? - And. - Oh, oh, oh, oh, that, yes, okay, in that one hall. - Yeah, yeah, and so it was like the Johnny Carson Festival. - Johnny Carson grew up in Nebraska. - Yeah, it was Johnny Carson's hometown. And it was such a fun festival and the shows were so good. But the thing was they kept being like, okay, and then on this day in the morning we're gonna go see Johnny Carson's childhood home. Did you go to that? - Yeah. - Okay, so they bring us there. And we're also excited. - Wow. - The whole comedy festival is like, it's Johnny Carson's childhood home. And we're like, whoa, and so we get there. And it's like fully renovated. - Oh, my God. - It's like fully like fresh drywall and stuff like that. And we're walking around and they're like, and then this is where Johnny slept. We think now it's a closet, but and then we're like, okay. And so, and it's like, obviously, of course you would do that. Like at some point it's like so, it's gonna update it. But it was, they had just really, I don't know why I so much was picturing like, in Frank's closet. - Ah. - And it was like, like, preserves, like this, like, and so they did in the basement have one, like the staircase, I think was preserved. And everyone could touch it and it was very fun. Remember it just being so shocked when we drove up? And it was just like a fully like finished house, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Wow. - But in 2018 I was up in Canada shooting the headhunter is calling with, what's his name for 300? - Gerard Butler. - Yeah. - Love Jerry. - Nice guy. - William DeFoe, I was so excited. - Wow. - And he was so much fun and I loved him. But anyway, I got cut from the movie. (laughing) - Obviously, did you really get cut from the whole problem? - Yeah. - This script had two storylines. - Yeah. - What about this daughter, Diane of Cancer? And what about this guy who's a headhunter? And it's just amazing language. The guy that wrote it. What's his name there? The great writer. - Mark Wilden. - Bill. - Bill. - Bill Dubuque. - Yeah. - Bill Dubuque from St. Louis, Missouri. Anyway, the language was so good, it was so much fun. And so I was in the office portion of the movie 'cause when we worked as a headhunter, but they decided to put all the energy toward this little girl, Diane of Cancer, which is supposed to make this choice of, do I want to work my ass off or do I want to spend time with my daughter? So it just didn't work as the first time. - A tale has all this time. (laughing) - Oh God, I got some time. - First time director, who I- - The daughter is far bigger than I am right now. - I want to go to work. (laughing) - So I don't think he knew how to finesse the storylines together. I don't think he never directed him for. - And it's pretty out. - Did you get a call like Larry on this one? - Yes. - Okay. - I went to playing to go do a really terrible movie in Pennsylvania and I thought he was kidding. - Who called you? - The director. - Oh, in himself. - Yes. - And you thought it was kidding. - Yeah, I said no, you're kidding. - And you got, it was an heartbreaking? - No, it's nothing you do. The movie didn't play anyway. It just didn't work. - It didn't work. - Yeah. - But I got to work with Gerard and willing to follow him. - Yeah, those are the experience you take away. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - More importantly, I met Sofage. (laughing) So I would, I'd been doing stand-up for a couple of years by then, I think when I start 2011, I think. I started to stand up with, I had my fifth kid 'cause I said I should never be out of a job. It was stand-up, you know, so I was going to work.
Right so thank goodness I did good because that's all he got right now. I mean movies don't pay anything I'm gonna do five movies this year. Yeah, and yeah I've done so many independent small movies right there's no money. There's no money. There's no money You do I had one that I was about to remember you know about to do and the money was okay Yeah, and then like I did hair. Uh-huh, you know, I went in the wardrobe. Yeah, you know did the whole thing and then as it's leading up Financing it went away it went away same thing. I've had that happened two or three times. Yeah, yeah, and it's gone and then you're like and then it's like Anyway, so continue. No, no Yeah, I'm not a great host Oh, yeah, I don't know what's going on That's the one who very actively gets booked very talented actor when you're auditioning because I audition all the time And then sometimes I'm like whoa, I'm getting this better turn my ringer on better turn my flashlight on Because I got this call and do you feel that way do you feel that way and do you have one that you really really thought you were going to get and then it didn't go your way yes Which one? Uh, it was a movie is a disaster movie and I prepared a lot for it Is it recent or can I want to guess it you want to guess it if you get to okay, it was not recent Uh, twister. No, no, okay. Uh, it's uh, the day after sorry. I'm first. Yeah, yeah It's not an 11 it's the end of days type movie and um, so Qsac So anyway, I go in and I prepare for this this audition and I killed it and the director yeah And the producer and two casting directors all four stood up and gave me a standing ovation never ever ever happened And so I called my agent C.A. At the time I said I got this because um, they just offered it to Woody Harrelson. Oh So now we know why they gave me that standing ovation like here's what you get Yeah, I said 2011 it's 2012. I'm so sorry I saw the prequel Yeah, yeah, that's so danger question. Yes. Yeah, and that's so that's it was this movie. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, didn't get it I wouldn't have said can I be he's great in it. He plays a madman Uh, yeah, in the motorhome. Yeah, he's a madman. Yeah, do you do you not feel sour? I would I would boycott this movie forever if that happens I should get out people day and honest I love it. I love it. Yeah, yeah, as disaster movies go was very good. Yeah, I love it disaster movie. Yeah, it makes no sense Like the first the first 20 minutes. It's all CGI nice, right? I can't remember. Uh, okay I don't know how much that's how unimpressed it was so it wouldn't have made I mean it wouldn't have made a difference in my career I would have had some more money because there was a studio movie and you could have met some cool people long stuff But um there's always more do you have the other direction too? Like did you have an audition that you felt like went really bad and then you did get it? I can't remember Yeah, I have empathy for your generation of comics because um You know we grew up when you could get a big movie and people would see it and we had get a theatrical release even Comedy is you know me right now. You don't see comedy. There aren't any there aren't any there aren't any They're not gonna make any money in the box office Because they all the global money they want the global money the american box office would come through and bar Netflix But they only want the global dollar. I know, but you're also competing against online comedy right yeah I mean, I mean you two puppies you know me falling off a little bridge or whatever is as funny as and that was about it now You know me but like you know me Well, what I what I heard one of the reasons that the comedies aren't doing as well is the loss of like DVDs Because a lot of comedies make a ton of their money. Yeah, okay in the box office Yeah, but would make a killing I still love buying comedy on TV. Yeah, yeah, oh Napoleon time You know something, but you know whatever it explodes on DVD Thanks for picking something on me. I had I was wow you know I had so many DVDs. I had like one of those big. It was like an album. I had to do I had to do it. Yeah, I know I had a porn one too Oh, yeah, I had a porn one. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, for porn DVDs. Do they have the like old ladies that would be they have the menu page I'm so curious. What do you mean chapter like you know how there's sometimes they'll have like a funny Like menu scene where you can like pick through like director's commentary Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you fall asleep on a sleepover and it's running and then it's like who drilled in your brain forever So it started like oh, I didn't realize she had a British accent Yeah, she's fancy That's fun. And so yeah, I loved DVDs and comedy movies on that's such a good point. Yeah, that was like a good avenue It's a Larry. Yeah, profits gone. Yes, but so it's either you know Netflix or nothing. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, but Netflix released up to theaters or no. No, I mean maybe maybe I can't say no And fatically, but I that's not their typical route. No, of course. Yeah, they try to do limited theater releases I think because they still want to get some awards and I'm gonna get awards You have to release for like 30 days and if you like a month or something, but that one is even closer. Yeah, it's getting smaller And it's like because you think like everyone in the world has Netflix So you would think that the like global say I'm sure the deals are different for streamer versus theatrical, but it's like you would think that if something is released on Netflix It does have the capacity to be seen by everybody the same way Yeah, anyway, I was going back to what I was talking about earlier Who puppies I'm sorry, I went on a tangent. Yeah, you got the reference. Yeah, yeah, not a bridge, but you know, they're just slow You know falling down a hill or one J. Lano oh J. Lano yeah, yeah, he's a little high four little out for J He's at the store all the time. Yeah, but anyway, I'm there. Okay, well then what's that then? Yeah, it's your right kids that's five kids brain you bring it back The thing you remembered was that we did the great American County Festival, and I remember oh, we met And I remember oh, we also did that small room Yeah, that that night yes, I tagged one of your jokes. Yeah Wasn't too bad I probably still do it. I don't remember I love attack. I love some comics get really offended when other people give them it. I love getting attacked No, no, no, after you were off stage. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I mean just like bring it back up just get it's a selfish way to get a laugh like well that got a laugh all Take something remember too, but I like to expand upon it not just No, I think it was the the come the come rag joke Because well, I've been closing with that for for like since I've been in America, and so it's one that I do think If someone goes up like a right right after me. It's it's all kind of so graphic You almost have to say something was it was it something to do with your boyfriend? Probably at the time. I can't remember You're right now. I'm engaged. Oh god. Congrats. Congratulations. We all wouldn't we all wouldn't do that that that other room One at a time please Anyway, yes, it was fun time and I don't I don't have you seen the other kids that did the comedy festival Okay, so I didn't realize when I got there. Oh, well, yeah Let me see if I've heard of any no No, yeah, I remember oh, yeah, so there also was a guy that we met that was so nice and he was so funny Adam Yenser and we got along really well, and he was like so nice and so funny And then later we we came friends on Facebook, and I didn't realize he was like one of the big gut-filled comics Like he's like one of the main guys that goes on gut-filled And I remember being so like whoa, this is America Because like in Canada are like most conservative politicians are left of Joe Biden And so like and I was like, whoa, I met a gut-filled It's real, and I mean, he's just he's also just a comic like all comics are mostly all kind of in the same Yeah, I remember being very like shocked by that Like yeah, bad choice. I guess watch that felt. Yeah, I love oh, yeah, I hate it. I hate it too I'll put it on I'll put it on if I'm like on the road and I mean the hotel room and got felt on I'll put it on just to be like what are they doing? Yeah, I hate it. Yeah, yeah, it's crazy or the five. I don't like what's the five? It's another thing. Anyway, let me just go back What's the five? Why are you another show on fuck? It's another show on five. Well, they think they're funny. Yeah, yeah Why are you guys scared to the five? What? What? I'm afraid of it. It's just it's a different point of view. It's a different point of view Your dad said if you watch the five Are you willing to do it? That's and I love that So what I was going to say because I didn't forget you know is I just have empathy for you guys in a little bit Well because you didn't have the same road maps that we had you know, I mean that was sort of set in stone You know, I mean you do this you do that you do this and then you know Maybe something else I'll get it. Yeah, yeah, and then the excitement of like you're on hold for a series regular on a show Or you're gonna test for this pilot every year, you know me and and that excitement You don't really have and I think that both of you are good examples of two young people that would have gotten that every year That's very nice of you to say, but I do want to point out that I've actually been doing stand-up since Longer than you I started in 2009 and so I actually was Because you were a kid.
(laughing) - That whole point, that worked for her. - I know, but I'll tell you what, out of her case, in her case, but he was in Canada for most of that time. - Yeah, yeah, no, I'm new in America. - Yeah, and they're not, and Canada, I just have to say, they're, in terms of the structure there is unfair. - There's no structure, yeah, no, you can't. - It's unfair, I think. - No, it's so small. - You guys get fucked. - It's just really small, and it's everybody consumes American media, and so there's not really like a push for Canadian-made stuff. We don't have like a star system or anything. - That's right, yeah, right. - Although, if you're making a movie in Canada, there has to be a certain quota for a Canadian actress. - Yeah. - A certain number, right? - Did you get it on that or no? - No. (laughing) - No, I didn't, I did not. - I mean, how do you guys-- - I auditioned, I auditioned a little bit. - What's the path now for you guys, you think? - Well, first-- - What's the goal? - Step one, I do Tiger Belly. Step two. (laughing) - It's a disaster move. - 21. - Yeah. - It's, it's definitely, I think like post clips and podcast stuff, like there really is like, not a clear structure of, you kind of have to do it yourself, I think. - Why? - Yeah, I think that the thing is coming from Canada, I feel like there's so many paths. And it's like coming from Canada, we're so limited. I do come here and I am like, oh, there's a million opportunities, there's a million different paths. If you take, if you don't get something that you're up for, and you thought you were gonna get, there's five other ways you could go to still get where you're trying to be. Like, it's so different that I feel like it's just like, electric, and everyone's always talking about how like Hollywood's dead. But it's like, compared to Canada, especially right now, it's like, it's, the opportunities are endless. - Well, you're a paid regular now, right? - Yeah. - Congratulations. - Thank you. - When did you get paid past? - A couple months ago. - That's amazing. How'd you feel when you got past the past? - I felt really good, I felt really good. And I think that like, part of like, kind of starting your career over when you come, 'cause I had already been doing stand-up for like, - 2009. - 10, 12 years when I moved to America. And so yeah, I guess longer than that. And so a lot of like professional Canadian comics don't want to move to America, 'cause you have to restart. You have to start over. You have to do open mics. You have to do the three minute sets. You have to do kind of all these things that like, when you've established yourself so much in Canada, it's kind of embarrassed. It's kind of a hit to your ego. But I'm down to do that, like I don't care. And so. - It was the work, right? - Yeah, yeah. And so, and you do move through it a lot faster than you did the first time. - That's because you're good now, you know what I'm saying. - You know what I'm saying, you know what I'm saying? - It is kind of hard on the ego, I think, for a lot of people. And so it was like very, it was very gratifying. 'Cause I did like show up and you have to like hang out, and there's like a lot of like steps to getting past at the comedy store that are different than other comedy clubs. - Yeah. - And I think a lot of people like, it just would not be down to do that. - It's tough. - But I don't mind, I don't mind like, you know, I'm a part of it. - Part of it? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - So Dave, you're doing dates now. - Yeah. - Like, last shredded 50 weekends. - Oh. - Five kids. - Oh my god. - Five kids. - Wow. - Five kids. - You know what I know, it's hard. - Imagine. - Yeah. - Plus Alamone. - Yeah. - My rule is two weekends a month, and that's it, you know. - Are you playing theaters or clubs? - Right now, I'm doing a theater run. - Okay. - For you. - This thing, you got this thing, which is amazing, right? - So you're doing 50 dates last year. - Yeah, I don't know how I mean I have this year. - I'm gonna do a military tour of first time. - That's great. - Is that me? - Yeah, that's it. - That's you. - So what's not up there is August five through 15, I'm going to five places in Turkey and the Middle East. - Oh wow. - 'Cause I'm gonna pick up a gun and get at it. - And then. (laughing) - Yeah. - And what did I, I was just saying. - You're gonna solve all their troubles. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Now do you, I mean kill babies. - Is this something that you like doing or no? I'm grateful that it's there. Yeah. I remain in gratitude. - So not really any of them. - Yeah, I see. (laughing) - Wait a minute, wait a minute. First of all, wait a minute. You're gonna go do your thing. - You love your life. (laughing) - But it's not, you know, look, it's an opportunity. You get better every time you go up on stage, I believe. - I think if you're doing 50 weekends a year, you have to enjoy the road. - Oh yeah, yeah. - To me, I don't let it bother me. And plus honestly, just grateful that it exists. 'Cause, you know, you've got a guaranteed income. - Yeah. - So are there rough shows for you ever? Like Friday night, second shows. I have our top or top. - Those are nightmares. - Yeah. - They can be. - That's everybody. - Yeah, that's a rule. - Yeah. - That's hardened. - So you just, no, you're just gonna push, push, push. - Yeah. - You're gonna, you know, the show. - Or quit, quit, quit. - That's what I do, huh? - Everybody's such comics that I'm sure it's like, when John Mulaney's selling out to like 100,000 see thing, like, he's, I'm, does it for a few minutes, I'm sure he's like, oh, the third stage show was better. - Yeah. - I mean, like I'm sure everybody has that. - Yeah, but there's never been a Friday night second show I went, that went well. (laughing) - Ever. - Sometimes they do. - Yeah, I know. - They're really gonna get the tape of that. - Yeah, yeah. (laughing) - Yeah, that's nothing going on in the real. No, I've always, no, it's always like, oh, that was a, not that the audience didn't have a good time. But it was like, I could tell myself, I could feel that in my body, like, I worked harder there. - Right, yeah. - Well, you have to. - Yeah. - They're tired, they're now really tired. It's the late show. They've been drinking longer. So the focus is gone. And you're the headliner. So there's been one or two people going up already. So they've had more drinks than they got there. So, you know, their focus and tensions go. - You guys eat in between. - Oh, there's a good, that's fine. - That's fine. - You eat between early show and late show. So this is what I do. - Yeah. - What do you do? - When I do eat, it makes the late show worse. (laughing) - Oh, really? - I think so. - In between shows if you eat. - If I eat in between the show, the late show is worse. And I think that it's like, people always talk about, like, oh, a hungry artist, whatever. I think it's not about specifically, like, suffering and whatever. I think it's like, your brain is maybe a little bit sharper. - Here's my problem with that, though. So if it connects to that, my problem with that. - Yeah, please, please. - My problem with that is that what happens is if you wait until after the second show, your options of eating is lower. - Of course, of course. - So you have to factor that into the whole thing. - Of course, I'm factoring that in. But I-- - You're talking about Taco Bell and like, oh, you can have the kitchen make you something. That's a true thing. - Yeah, you can have the worst steak in the world. (laughing) - So it's chicken fingers. - Yeah, yeah. Or jalapeno popper. Like, I don't really eat that. - Yeah, I know. - I don't wait that late. - It's so hard to get to be like healthy eating on the road. Do you guys have like healthy, because Wendy's has a baked potato that I feel like nobody thinks about. - Oh, yeah, I don't know. - You're the first to talk about it. - What do you mean is that health? - A baked potato? - Yeah, that's healthy. - Okay, yeah. - I don't know if it's good. - That's healthy to you. - Salad or something? - Oh. - Is it organic? - A chicken breast. - Yeah, yeah. - I just heard a chicken breast sandwich to you. - Broccoli. - Yeah. - Broccoli. - So what I do-- - I don't think potatoes are healthy. - Okay, I don't know. - What I do between those-- - Wow, she's getting her Canadian hackled right up. - Oh, they have it. - Yeah, let's do the macro. - Break down the macros. - I would love to see it. - They don't list it. - First of all, it's $3. - No, they do. - Go down, go down. - Go down. - Oh, whoa. - 70, not bad. - Not bad. - You just only have potatoes. - Not a lot of sodium. - I'm putting like, how? - Seven grams of protein, okay. - This is very-- - A lot of carbs. - This is very Irish. - Potatoes are good for you. - Yeah, that's true. - And they're not deep fried. - All right, so what I would do is I would get three of those. - Oh, Jesus. - In an emergency situation, such a way. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm being real. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I would have had that then waffle house. - 100%. - 100%. - 100% is so good. - I know it's good, but it's gonna kill you. - Yeah, well. - Yeah, so this is what I can tell you what I do. - Please. - May I? - So I do ninja technique. - No, no. - Grab your hand, rip it out. (laughing) - Just this is my technique, right? What I try to do is this, is that I tell the manager, I go, just me, right, into the fanciest place you have around here. I don't care how long it is. As soon as I get off stage, we go into the car, right? And get me to, like, the best steak house in town or whatever, right? And sometimes I try to drift away from my openers. (laughing) - After you have-- - Yeah, so I don't have to pay for them either. - Right, right. - Yeah, because it's like, I have to pay, you know what I mean, it's like a lot of money. - And they're so trying to tail you. - Yeah, but you really have to shake them off. - I have to shake them off. - You're doing crazy. - I have to shake them off, yeah. But then sometimes they, everyone does come. Like, on tour, you know what I mean? And then, all of a sudden-- (laughing) You guys come too, right? And then sometimes, what happens is, you have friends of all friends that show off. - Oh, boy. - Right. And at the end, and then all of a sudden, like, oh, I'm Papa. Right, right? - Yeah. - And I had to pay for all of my siblings. - Now it's a wedding. Now you're catering. - And yet, I'm catering. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And almost then, the bill comes out. It's like, you know what I mean, over 1,000. - Yeah. - Right? And then you're like, oh, well, I broke even this weekend. (laughing) I broke even this weekend, right? - He doesn't pay his taxes. (laughing) - I remember, so I have a cousin who is four years younger than me. She's very much a little sister to me. We grew up together. You know, we both moved to Vancouver at the same time. Like, we're very close. But, because I'm older than her, I always would pay for lunches and dinners and stuff like that when we'd hang out. I remember this one time, it was really low on cash. And we were at a sushi place. And she was like, can I get appetizer? - No. - And I remember just being like, yeah. (laughing) It was just absolutely bankrupt that time. - That's how you said it. - I'm sure my card got declined. (laughing) You would not realize how big of a question that was. - That was a big question. - You can't say no. It's like if someone's saying, can I get out? You can't be like, no. - Yeah, you can. - Well, now I know. - In a half. (laughing) - We're at a restaurant recently and I admit an announcement. (laughing) Because of this guy, right? - And I was like, no. - I was like, I was like, I'm making an announcement. - The monster. - The monster. - I go, you can get anything on the menu, except for this specific thing. - That wagon. - Because if I don't say that, he's gonna order it. - Really? - And what if you just have expensive tastes? - No, he just wants to take advantage. - Just be happy. (laughing) - Order quantity. Order quantity. - I'm always really hesitant. If I know someone's gonna pay for my bill, I'm always, you never want to be the first person. You got to wait to see what everyone else is ordering to like get a price range. I'm like, okay, this person, he's getting a drink, so I can get a drink or blah, blah, blah. This person's already, are you just jumping straight out of the boat? Wagyu.
market it has before yeah if you get a market price item that seems crazy you have before oh market price is crazy yeah yeah yeah oh it's always that yeah crab legs mp whatever mp I'll hit the mp yeah and I ask what's the mp I always ask yeah oh I see mvp's in the house yeah so can we go back to the date so we can promote David oh thank you so just Instagram or what's the other one's Facebook yeah I was already losing my hair I was I was I was probably 27 that's second-city day with dog nose yeah yeah I owe oh I owe look at a chin with did you did you with losing the hair did you kind of own it we're like yeah this is going to be my look or I feel like guys now panic about yeah yeah no well when I got sad at life before your board uh lord Michael's a Dave what are we gonna do to your hair and they listed all these people that have plunked your hair pieces I'm like and I I was pretty much close to ball my way past this and I was like oh my goodness is he telling me to get a hair piece yeah so like I can't my Chicago buddies will kill me yeah my family will like what are you doing yeah so no that's that's a wig on my ball on my ball the head but I don't know his whole thing is they do wigs all the time yeah yeah but no he was the he was talking about me getting a wig uh as uh just for my regular life David you're going to be on TV now you're so sure choice did you get along with norm oh yeah we love to I love norm he was very I loved him he was very sweet man I'm playing his brother here Gary McDonald uh that's so fun and this one he just I used to do this character called jokie who always goes no you know people are no they're not funny but they can't help it and they have to try to be funny they go no like I wasn't really trying to make it go and I'm trying to make it work on stage so many times but you have to explain it I remember once being at the improv here in town and I just written it that day and I half the audience was getting it or may a quarter and someone literally said what's going on what's going on yeah because some people were getting it yeah that's good I feel like that's what you want with some bits like when you're doing your hour I do feel like a quarter of it should be that where half of the room is like connecting with it and half of the people are like what's going on then you realize like I need these words to get them to this griddle what what's going on what's going on now because that means I haven't sent the piece up for the people that are less um you know capable of I think right the joke as as you intend it to be received and if half the audience gets it those are your core people right yeah you guys you guys tell the audience you're about to do a new joke or you just do it uh sometimes we're also here's a bit I haven't done forever but you guys seem like you're down for it and I'll say this is a rough one or something like that yeah sometimes yeah um it's I know what you mean where it's kind of annoying when when they're like oh it's just new stuff and then it's like they don't really like try yeah but I think yeah I think I will once in a while if it's like a really touchy subject or something because you're kind of playing with fire and we have to try it at some point yeah yeah and so it's like kind of cowardly but I will do it I'm used to now this is the first time in my life I've been doing it forever I'm really used to I did my new joke night at the belly room last oh and I um I had two in a row new ones that got not just nothing but it was as if no one was in the room no sometimes they look at you like they don't even know that a joke was attempted yeah that's what they're waiting the waiting for the joke to come yeah that it was a setup but I but I already done that punchline no it's so great I that happens to me all the time where I do and then it's like they're not even like defiantly not laughing they don't even know the that I want them to laugh exactly exactly that's what wow but it was two of those and one of them was a pretty long setup oh yeah yeah and I and before as I was as a younger man I would it would have been like really devastating but this time it's been like I just have to do it right we have to try it well I did my special right it comes out in November Hulu check it out but it's like um hopefully not on one of my nights and I um you know I'm starting over and I just have to do it you should tell you're special in DVD that's a good idea that's a good idea I wonder if you can do that and I'll take your really reasonable percent yeah so David will be um uh in August I am going to do my military tour and then we're I can't even see it I'm so I guess 20 the 22nd he's going to be at the Royce social hall at the Trappocano casino wow and resort Atlantic City which is a byticket's there planning casino yeah he's also going to be two nights yeah that's big then loony bin and in Tulsa what do we got here I can't see August 28th the 29th 2026 the loony bin in Tulsa Oklahoma uh huh and then September 11th and 12 he'd be there at the just just I don't want to rattle them off off um just go to his website yes yeah website or Instagram and check it out go watch our old friend David Keckner he was amazing today and he's always amazing you're sweet and um he was really fun working with you that was fun that was really excited because we never done before yeah and so we started I played a Chinaman what year did you um I think Chinese accent do you know that right huh well that's what I played I just want to play I mean this is the podcast and so you do get to do one slur that is the weaning off the slurs yeah but what is one is within reasons okay what year did you do uh man TV I went I was from 2000 to 2008 okay wow nice eight year run yeah I did it eight year on yeah nice no taxes remember yeah yeah which is we I arrest I paid it we're all good right yeah yeah yeah see I got I had SNL 95 so I remember like all the people the sketch shows that were happening at that time and who's yeah right you know you know I have a feeling that you guys didn't like us I didn't well the thing is it was the first time there was competition first time it's been competition I wasn't about like or not yeah I think to me honestly there's more opportunities for comedy do you know I I I almost got mad TV that year in 95 wow yeah but then I was kind of like SNL I had a great audition for man TV and then Lauren got wind of it and so that that helped that helped that helped my chance but was there animosity were they like was it like a ratings battle they took away ratings from SNL because then also Howard Stern had his late night show that's right that's right that's right so yeah yeah yeah whoa that's so juicy I never thought about that yeah so the first time they had been competition that was the 95 cast wow you would have been a part of that yeah yeah who had who would have been who wouldn't have made it I think you they could have added it at one yeah yeah he did 90 count I remember okay so wow amazing what featured who was featured Craig Anton I love Anton I loved yeah he's in Atlanta or Savannah so we're teaching he really yeah I love Craig Anton a lot he was so good he's so funny oh my god yeah we're talking about the old did you guys have a favorite writer on SNL yeah in my TV oh yeah well yeah that's a big part of it like having a writer that really like writes for you isn't that a big part of well everyone's got the same thing like you just got to get some on yeah and if you can get the thing across the finish line great I mean I would I would typically get some you do the table read on on on on Wednesday and I would typically get eight sketches out of 20 wow and we'll would get 12 or 15 put well the thing it's probably gonna go yeah but like Adam and Kay he and I started the same year and we were sitting together and then Norm Hisscock Canadian who was the head writer for kids in the hall yeah and I got really close and we run some stuff yeah too so yeah my favorite writers are ones that I don't have resentment toward yeah yeah they caught and done you know Katie dipold you know we had some really good ones and they have a show now called widows bay on apple I watched it all I watched the whole thing yeah yeah yeah it's an amazing show it's funny people now it's funny show it's a funny show but it's kind of horror as well a bunch of comics in there a bunch of comics and they're not me it's so funny the dialogue is so good it's yeah yeah it's I think a great show yeah yeah there's a lot of good shows out right now yeah let's move on um wait hey show's any other shows you got to promote yeah any other things you want to promote not that I know just I'm doing it yeah fun here of course I did yes I laughed so hard it was lovely to see you it's good to see you like that I'm glad that we were both so looking forward to working together but we both got got those kids together so yeah you know but that's but you know here's the thing it's like the experience of being out there I remember sitting there and you know Larry David was to my right right it was going I know I would do a bad impression right it's like how's this going you're doing well you know and just having a conversation with him and just thinking to myself you know what this is great yeah you're working yes and we're asked is a very very small cast yes there's only six episodes yeah and we were asked to do it yeah I mean that's one of those things you want yeah and you're just going um this is just a moment you should cherish yep I remember that I talked about this before but I remember the last come I was on right it got canceled and I remember it was splitting up together and I remember the last day touching the furniture on the set and just like looking at the back wall
And just going because this could be my last one because I could see the tide's turning Touching the furniture and they're like hey don't touch Your fire All right good good ending I'm a good boy
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