David Henrie: 10 Miscarriages & the Truth About Child Stardom ft. Maria Henrie

- I was on a flight, I got the text in the air that she was miscarrying, and that was devastated. - You guys have been through this 10 times. How do you keep going for someone that doesn't know your story? How did you guys meet? - I have never seen his show. - She grew up on a farm. - My first thought was, he must be so full of himself of like, that's the reaction he gets everywhere. - Have you decided, like, I'm not going to kiss another woman on camera? - Anything that would actually violate our relationship is a married couple, then I'm not. - Say it, David, say it. - What is that? - He's not kissing anybody. (laughing) - No people try to commit suicide or a dead or a overdose 'cause their parents needed them to make money. Many times the parents are really more living out their dream and that they're pushing this poor kid to be a young professional. - When we were first dating, we said, let's just say, like, the amount of kids we want to have on the count of three. - One, two, three, ten. (laughing) - Oh my God! (upbeat music) - David and Maria Henry, welcome to Unplanned. - Thank you. - This our first time ever doing a podcast together, we've ever done a podcast or anything. - We're on our own. - This is the first time we're together on camera doing something. - That's true. I feel like ever since we got married, I crawled into the my little marriage bubble and this is my first time, I'm like, - That's so cool. - Yeah. - Are you nervous? - Exciting. - Yeah, I don't know. I just, part of me is like, no one really cares what you have to say. I don't know why I have that thought in the back of my head always, but I'm like, David, he's like my hype. I mean, he's like, Maria, people do care. - Oh, yeah. - So, yeah, for sure. - From learning about your guys' story, you guys also experience a late, like a second time as an editor. - Terrific. - Her name was, is it? - That was Isabelle. - Isabelle, yeah. - And that was like the first, I know you'd always said, like, you should name these babies and I just like have a mental block about that for whatever reason, even to the stay. Like, I couldn't name all the ones, but like, she was the one that we knew she was a girl. Like, the kids were excited to meet her and that was just a whole, ugh, that was about experience. - Yeah, that's cool. - It makes you appreciate your kids and just like, the whole experience have just like even getting that baby on you finally, so much more, 'cause you know, like, it's, - And I don't know what your guys' experience was during all that in terms of your marriage, but like for us, we just tried to be like, how do you use this as an opportunity to grow closer together? How do you use this tragedy to really pour into each other and strengthen your bond? And no matter what, 'cause it's like, you can get caught in the head games of, why would God allow this, you know? What are the, you can look into so many different factors that might play into that and then can kind of drive you crazy and then play the blame gleam or have temptations to like blame, oh, we could have done that better, we could have done this better. That can divide a couple, but like for us, we were just very much like, it's a win for God if we love each other more in this process and if we pour into each other more in this process. - Yeah, it's a weird club to be a part of, but it also helps you empathize so much more, just not even with pregnancy stuff, just like in life and like what people are going through and it's been-- - So many, our generation, like I know we're a bit older than you guys, but like our general generation like struggles with this a lot. People don't really talk about the fertility stuff, but it's-- - Well, it's so common. - It's so common. - And yeah, people don't talk about it enough and I really feel for you guys because I know how hard it was for us to go through that one time. I mean, it's devastating. And obviously it changes things too when it's a second trimester lost is just awful. But something that really stuck out to me learning about your story is that you guys have been through this 10 times. - Yeah. - How do you keep going when you have just experienced that so much at a certain point? I feel like your brain is just telling you to quit, to give up. - Yeah, totally. - It's really tough, you know, 'cause we see all the doctors, we fly all over the country to meet different doctors and figure out what's going on and is there a problem with me, is there a problem with her discovering new things about her body especially in hormone levels and polyps and all sorts of factors that play into miscarriage. And so we feel like we're doing the right things, right? Like in right when we get to a point where the doctor was like, okay, you can try again, you can try again. Something else would happen. And you know, we've been married nine years and the alternative to me though, closing off the door to life and having to like completely change our marital life based on avoiding certain windows and whatnot, to me that would put a cloud over us. - Yeah. - And I don't want to live with that cloud. I want to live with the ability to celebrate and be open to life and children and what God can give us. And well, recently my grandfather passed away, right? And he had seven kids. All of his seven kids were holding his hand till he took his last breath. And I bet you he wasn't thinking before he died, I should have had less. I bet he wasn't thinking that. I bet he was very happy that his fruitful, beautiful, seven children and grandchildren were there literally holding his hand. So I heard, I saw that witness and I heard so many other stories where I was just like, you know what, let's, whatever God gives us were open to it but be as responsible as humanly possible and try to be proactive in what's going on. But sometimes you need providence too. Like this last baby was a total miracle. Total miracle, it was purely divine providence. Like we did everything the same, but had a very beautiful encounter in Spain and prayer is answered. Providence came in big time for this baby. So we can only, only credit this baby to God. Just to kind of go off of what you were saying, I think like the tough, so I don't have social media, but I am a creeper extraordinaire. I go on my sisters and I'm just like on the internet. So I see some of his comments on occasion. And I think there was one post where he had mentioned me having 10 and the comments were so mean. They were like, how dare you guys try to, and I actually do understand how it looks from an outside perspective, especially like when the wife's not there to be like, well, here's actually what's been going on. So it was actually hard to read those 'cause I'm like, man, what people don't know is we had doctors for every single one of them. Like we got the okay for every single one of those. The tough part is I had three when I first got married. And so I had three back to back. And they actually won't even look at you and see if anything's wrong until you have three. So after, yeah. So after my first, I had gone to an OB 'cause I didn't know, first I didn't even know what was happening with my first. Like I had fled for a couple of days. I was like buying pregnancy books 'cause I had no idea that meant it was like the start of the miscarriage, I had no idea. And so I had met with an OB after that. And he was like, yeah, I don't know what to tell you. We can't do anything until you have three. And so the second happened, at this point, I don't know if anything's wrong or not. And after my second, I had the ultrasound lady tell me it didn't work out better luck next time. And I was like, that's a weird thing to tell somebody. But that was two and I still can't do anything about it. And so then after three, I went back to the OB, I said, okay, I just had my third, like now can you help me? And he gave me the phone number to an IVF clinic. And was like, this is all I can tell you. And what ended up happening after those three was I had all of these polyps. So even if I had gone to an IVF clinic, I could have never had a successful pregnancy 'cause the baby would have never implanted, no matter what. So we ended up. - We found Napro doctors. - Yeah, we found it. - The doctors were amazing. Orange County, California. - Napro? - Yeah, it's a system of doctors that basically, they have like more like a root cause issue of like, if you're not carrying, generally speaking, women should be able to have, you know, carry a full pregnancy. Of course, there's always exceptions to throw, but generally they should. So if they are not, there's more likely than not an underlying cause. So I went with these group of doctors and they were the ones that found like, my body does not make progesterone. So I would actually never be able to carry a baby period if I wasn't supplementing progesterone for 40 weeks. - Oh, wow. - Yeah, 'cause I had an OB when I was pregnant with my daughter who's seven. I told her I was on progesterone and she was like, go off of it. And so I did, 'cause I trusted her, but I was also meeting with my naprodoctor who was a former OB at the same time, who was tracking my levels. So she saw my levels plummet and she was like, I'm not telling you what to do, but I wouldn't, my suggestion is don't tell your OB that you were going back on it, 'cause I would suggest going back on it because right now this isn't looking good. So I ended up going back on it. And so I guess my point is if I had just gone to IVF, it would have never worked. You fork out thousands of thousands of dollars. I would have never had a successful pregnancy until I found the group of doctors and they really helped me. - With the holidays coming up, the last thing any of us want is our kids or ourselves down for the count right before the big family trip or whatever's on the calendar this year. - High as entire suite of products help support growing bodies, but we especially love their kids' daily multi-vitamin. 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Which your team probably will think is cooler than they would expect. We've worked out a special deal with Haya. Receive 50% off your first order on any of their products. To claim this deal, you must go to highhealth.com/unplanned. This deal is not available on their regular website. So go to h-i-y-a-h-e-a-l-t-h.com/u-n-p-l-a-n-e-d and get your kids the full body support they deserve. If you could explain for someone who doesn't know what this looks like, obviously, you know, Abby and I last year walked through a very similar situation to you guys with the second trimester loss. But first trimester, I'll be honest, I don't fully understand how you know you're miscarrying. You mentioned, like, seeing blood and not knowing that meant that there was a miscarriage. How do you know that? Like, what were the signs of an early pregnancy loss? So it's different for everyone. So, you know, take my experience with a grain of salt, but because bleeding is normal in certain cases. Usually not bright red blood, because that usually means it's fresh. So I had that. But I, you know, Google told me bleeding is normal. So I'm like, great, bleeding is normal. And so that happened for like a day or two and it wasn't getting better. Usually, like, if you had like that spotting, it'll usually get better. Mine was not getting better. But in my head, I'm like, bleeding is normal, bleeding is normal. And so we had like gone out to like a celebratory dinner because I was pregnant. We were so excited to have kids. Oh, yeah. And we were like halfway into, it was like one of those like 14 course, like five hour dinners. And we were like six courses in. And they were like one bite each. And they were like, like, it was like an experience. And we did this once too. And we hated it. Yeah. I was so hungry. He went to McDonald's. We got to go to McDonald's after we were starving in and out afterwards. Yeah. I was starving. I was wild. We never wondered. I was starving. Could they bring you guys like duck or anything like that? They brought you. We cracked and did a thing with a little spoon. And I was like starving. I take me to red robin. Maybe. I wasn't prepped for it. I wasn't prepped. I just thought we're getting a nice dinner. And in my mind, I thought like a steakhouse or something. I'm going to walk out of here full. So I didn't eat the whole day. So it was like ready to crush it. And it was all these little things. It was like, you got this foam. Yeah. And you're like, that's not going to. See, we did our fancy dinner after having our first two. So we just like, we wanted to get back to our kids after two and a half hours. Oh, yeah. We're like, oh, you have an hour left. They were offended. They were. I think I offended them. Yeah. We're like, I'm falling asleep. Not to offend any culinary people. Yes. And luckily the situation we were set up with, like it was covered at that time. But I saw that. And I was like, how in the war, I'm like, who's doing this? It's going to $500 dinners. Yeah. So you celebrate. So we're celebrating. And yeah, in addition to like the bleeding, you do have like crab fields, like almost like your cycle. And halfway through the dinner, I was like, oh, something doesn't feel right now. I went to the bathroom. And that was it. It definitely looks different for everyone. This whole situation happened literally first year of marriage, right? Yeah. Less than a year into being married. Yeah. Yeah. For someone that doesn't know your story, how did you guys meet? How did you fall in love? Yeah. Tell us about that. That's fun. We. So I got invited by this bishop of Los Angeles. Archers of Gomez invited me to speak for like 6,000 kids in his diocese. He says casually. Like it was. Yeah. It was a big guy. The diocese of LA is huge. One of the biggest in the world, right? So they have all these Catholic schools. And he just asked me to come speak to the kids because the kids were fans of my shows. And it's like, oh, yeah. Of course, I'd love to speak to the kids. But he also sends me the like invite pamphlet that has everyone else who's speaking and who's going to be participating. And I saw on the invite, um, miss Delaware, um, speaking on chastity, something of a thing. And I was like, I'm single. That's kind of what I'm looking for. That sounds like a wife. I was like, that's exactly what I'm looking for you. That's exactly what I heard in that. Chastity speaker. I was like, great. These are two things that like were. This is a sign I should go. How old are you? I was 25, 25, I'm 35 and 37 now, but I was 25. So I was like, yes, I will happily go. But I really wanted to meet her. I didn't know what she looked like. But I was like, this looks great on paper. And, uh, so we go to the event. And I remember I was backstage. And I heard a funny girl on stage. And I was like, laughing. I was like, Oh, this girl's funny. Whoever this girl is. And, um, and so that that was attractive to me. Uh, and I walked around the corner and I was like, who's this? And sure enough, it was her. And she had this really beautiful blue skirt on and a white, uh, shirt. And I just remember exactly seeing you from profile. And I was like, Oh, that's got to be her. I was like, and she's funny. That's, that's a, that's not a combo. You always find, you know? Yeah. Uh, and she got off stage and it was time for, uh, you, you know, there's not Catholic or you, yeah, none of them. So this might be weird for you, but Catholics do adoration. And so we believe the Eucharist is the bodyblood solendivinity of Jesus. So they bring out the Eucharist and everyone, um, is, is praying, but Maria dropped her knees. And I was like, Oh, that's a really pious thing. And then other people started like dropping to their knees, uh, as the Eucharist would pass to, to honor our Lord. And I was like, I got a talk to her. And I was with a buddy who was trying to talk to her too, that I brought to the event. And so we both like sped walk race to try to talk to her while she was kneeling. But I like took off my jacket and, and put it under her knees because she was on the, uh, concrete floor. And, uh, that was my end. I put it under her knees and say, do you need us? And our kids and our obsessed with that sweater. Cause I, I kept it. Yeah. So now they always look at it. Yes. Oh, what a good story. Yeah. When he put his sweater underneath your knees, was that, was that the sign where you like, this is my husband? Not impressed. No, no, that's not impressed. She's not impressed. She's not impressed. Which I was. Yeah. And I shouldn't say not impressed. Cause that was a very generally thing to do. I had just broken up with a boyfriend of a year and a half the week before. So I was just like, nobody talked to me. Cause it was like one of those things like you knew it should have ended like a year prior. And it just didn't. And it was, I was just not in like the mood. So I appreciate like the gentlemanly gesture. She very much knew what I was going for at that time. Yeah. I was just not really having it. Yeah. So we got, we quickly got separated after that. Said, hello, exchange a couple, just, hello, I think we said like five words. Yeah. Five words each other. But we knew we had a friend in common. Yeah. And so I called that friend cause I knew she was living in New York. And I was going there for a premiere of a film the following couple weeks. And I got her number from him. And we flew out to New York and we hung out really for the first time in New York. And it was so funny because I did the dumbest thing in the world. We're here in Arizona. My family's here, a bunch of Italians. And I said, Hey, I met this girl. Like right after we met, I had relatives over and I was like, Oh, I met this girl. She's really cool. And I really liked her. We, you know, it was a quick exchange. But she seemed really, really great. And I think I'm in a texture. And they go, you can't texture. Yeah. That's back in my day. We spoke on the phone. We did face to face. You can't text. That's weak. And so they like fired me up. And I was like, Well, I'm in a face timer. I'm not afraid to call her. I'm in a face timer. Yeah. The first time we're talking. I'm in a face timer. Looking back. What was they thinking? Yeah. But I literally face timed her. And it was, it was a Pacific time. So it was like L.A. time, like seven o'clock. I wasn't thinking that it was like 10, 10 PM for her. So she gets a cold face. I'm in bed with like my coke bought. I'm like, almost legally blind without my glasses. I'm like, I have like coke bottle glasses. And I just like get a face time from him. And I'm like, no, no, so I had to go pick up contacts. Did you know? Did you know who he was at the time? So I had never seen his show. Okay. I had a firm. Okay. She's a lot of farms. Can watch Disney Channel. No TV. A farm with no TV. No, I had a TV. But we only watched Arthur, which was a banger. Do you guys know Arthur? Our kids watch our live. Yes. And magic school bus. Okay. We watch magic school bus. So good. We would watch those like back. That was it. So I did not grow up with like cable. Like big cable. I don't know. Yeah. So I had a TV guys. I want something like fully homage. But I knew his name because of this mutual friend. And he was like, I'm doing work with David and David Henry from Wizard. So I'd never seen it. So when I, I was like introducing him on stage at this event, everyone in the crowd was like, whoa. And I actually, maybe I dig up homage on a farm because I didn't know that many people watched Disney Channel. And my first thought was he must be so full of himself. If like, that's the way he gets everywhere. Like that's like so abnormal. And he's not. What do you mean? Maybe it turns out he did. What do you mean by saying? Maybe I did grow up. Amish. Yeah. I just like didn't realize like the extent of like film and TV had on people. Okay. That 6,000 people knew who he was was like unheard up to me like she was literally on as she was disconnected from like backwards like nine acres in middle of nowhere. Were you watching magic school bus on a VHS tape? I just bought a VHS player for my kids. That's so fun. Yeah. But everything was a bit more a bidding war on eBay over a TV with a VHS in it. A couple years ago, you had to pay someone five hundred per day to take away your big old boxy VHS. Yes. Yes. We have a whole lineup of like the - Old VHS. - She's like a- I'm not losing, I'm not losing. I'm like, it's costing us more money, more and more money. - I'm not losing. - These are so ancient. You know like if you get too close to it, you can feel like the static radiating off of the screen here. - But when we turned on this TV for the first time. - So funny, like kids were thrown. - We turn on the TV and you know it comes on and then the snowy stuff and then it starts to take clarity. They go up to it and start trying to press like it's a pad. They start tapping it going, where is it going? - It's green. - I'm trying to rewind. - You're like, it's saying a touch screen. - What's going on? - I was just cracking up because they were going up. They're going, what's, why isn't it stopping? - It was hilarious. - Oh my gosh, like you got to rewind it. - Our kids like to pretend to work. So they'll come into our podcast and be like, I'm working right now. They're like messing with the cameras and stuff. The same thing, like they've seen us like, you know, use our phone with the touch screen. They'll go in my work computer and start like tapping the screen. I'm like, you guys are gonna break my computer. - A hundred percent, a hundred percent. - That's cute. - Okay, so anyway, you thought of this phone and cell. - I love a VHS tape. - And she thought it was full of this, obviously. - Yes, but he's not spoiler alert. Yeah, so yeah, we said like five words to each other and-- - But then we hung out in New York. In New York was like, when I went there, we just hit it off, like favorite movies and common, similar sense of humor, and just quickly realized that we have a shared vision for what the future of life should look like for people. - But also, after we started dating, I did make him sit down and watch the Wizards of Wigley's movie with me. And it was so funny, and he gave all the Easter eggs like behind the scenes. He's like, look at me doing something funny in this scene. Like I did it on purpose so I could look back later and laugh. Like I just like thought it was like funny to me and it was interesting. - Well, what were the Easter eggs from the movie that he pointed out to you? - The one, there's this one when they get to the hotel. - Okay. - I don't know where you went on vacation. It was somewhere. We shot it in the show we're in Hawaii, but we actually shot in Puerto Rico at San Juan. - Nice. - If you watch him go into the hotel, he's like trying to put a straw in his mouth in the background and he just can't get it in his mouth. Just go back and watch this one particular scene. - Oh yeah, they've made TikToks about that. - I can't do it 'cause it's weird if I do it. - It's like later in life it'll be funny if like, I'm just in the background, like you're watching the scene, other people talk, but I'm in the background of that scene. And I'm just like trying to find a straw. - Yes, there's no way we can-- - Can't find the straw. - That's funny. - It was like later in life I laughed at this. - And now it's later in life. - And it's not, yeah, it cracks me up 'cause they make these TikTok reels where people were like, "What the hell is he doing?" And I'm like, "Yes." I didn't even know TikTok was gonna be a thing, but that's what happened. - Yeah, like I knew that I saw the vision. Did they give you freedom to do things like that? - Totally. They loved it. If you find it funny, just be yourself, have fun, you go for it, and yeah, they loved all that. - That's sweet. It is getting a little chillier even here in Arizona. But even though it's getting cooler, are any of us still waking up in a full sweat? 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Order it today with free shipping and enjoy an extended holiday return window. You can return it for free if you don't like it with their sleep trial. Visit www.sleepslep.me/unplanned and never wake up hot and tired again. - You even wrote a couple episodes, right? - Yes, yes, yes. - I didn't know that until like researching, I was like, what, you were writing Wizards of Waverly Place episodes? - Yeah, I always liked improv and I was like participating in the creative process like that was always a big deal for me. I always asked, like, why is the camera here? Why are you putting this here? How is the joke written? How do you structure a punchline properly? So like to me, I always loved participating in the creative process. So I was like, yeah, 16, 17. I'd be sitting in the writer's room pitching jokes and eventually they were like, hey, you should write a whole script and I wrote some episodes for the show and that was a lot of fun. - That's really a lot of fun, yeah. - So watching the movie together, you're learning about who this man is that you're potentially going to end up with one day. What's going through your mind? - I just feel like you grew up in such a different world and I'm kind of like, I grew up on my farm. So I'm almost like, I'm glad I have the perspective that I do where like to me, it's fun to root for him and watch him do these things 'cause I knew him without that, if that makes sense, just because my brain wasn't seeing him as his character, if that makes sense. - So it's actually, it's fun to watch it from an outsider's perspective and see how he does things behind the scene. So it's been fun. I feel like I am like-- - She studied film in college too. So like, I'll show some of the, I have a company too, so we produce film and television and she loves reading the scripts and I love getting an outsider's opinion of a mother and she gives great feedback on things. So it is kind of fun where it all be like, hey, I'm not going to tell you anything about this but just read it, I want you to take as a mom and my favorite thing that he ever has me do is he has me watch auditions sometimes. Not that I'm like that and I'll be all, but he's like, hear the people auditioning for the role of like my wife on the show and I'll just sit and just judge everybody. It's so fun. - That's kind of fun to watch auditions. - Watching her watch auditions 'cause in this new show we're doing for Disney, we audition wives, you know? - Love it. - And seeing her look for a good wife for me was so fun. - I had my glass of wine and I just sat and watched them all. It was so fun. But she picked the best, the perfect business. - Why for you? - Yes. - You're making a wife for your husband? - Yes, yes. Is that not weird? - It's not weird. - It's not weird. - But she picked a great, this girl who got Mimi G and Opless is so good. - You say pick like I have like some like decision making. I don't have any decision making. I just love giving. - No, her opinion matters to me. Her opinion matters to me. She knows me well. She knows who I'm going to respond positively to. I happen to like that Mimi girl the best as well. - She was great. - And she crushed it. She was really good. She was so funny watching her just be like the glass of wine, watch all these women. - That's so funny. I'm so curious like what makes a good audition? Like for you, because now you know both sides of it as the actor and as the casting. - Like now that I'm on the producer side, I do things that I wish people would have done for me when I was an actor. So like when people walk in the room and I'm sitting there, it's kind of intimidating. Like you're walking into a room. People are sitting behind the table. There's like seven or eight people behind the table and they're all like sitting there looking at you and you stand under like a spotlight and you're just like awkwardly like eight feet in front of the table and blank space and you got your pages in your hand to read the lines and all these people are like it's a very awkward thing. So I immediately try to make it less awkward where I'm like hey thank you so much for being here. We loved your audition tape. I saw you come in. That's why we called you and thank you for being here. I'll say something like I want you to know that I want you to leave happy. So if you feel like you didn't do it right, do it again and I want you to make sure you feel good about it. And like no one ever did that for me really. Maybe you want someone to do that and it made the biggest difference because the first read can always be nervous and you want some help along the way. So I'll do things like that with people who are auditioning. - See I feel like if that were me, you would probably have to like kick me out 'cause I would probably be like on tape number seven. You'd be like you did it the same way every time. - Like hey buddy. - Stop that right there. You didn't get the part. - I'm not a nice guy anymore. - I'm not a bad guy. - That's not true. - Okay do you have any strict rules for yourself on camera because now that you're married you have a wife. Your wife's picking out the wife that's gonna start with you on camera. Do you have you decided like I'm not going to kiss another woman on camera? Are there any like rules like that you've made for yourself? - For sure like my general rules are like if I'm acting in something as long as it's, as long as I'm not directly doing anything that violates my conscience or is against my morals, then I'll do it. Like if I have to kill someone, like I'm not really killing someone, it's like you can fake that or even even I don't know, if I'm producing a drama and it's got a redemptive message and I like this story and there's drug use in it, like you're not really doing drugs, right? But for me I draw the line if it's like anything that would actually violate our relationship as a married couple, then I'm not gonna do this. - Say it David. Say it. - I'm not gonna do this. - Say it David. - Do you get nudity or like. He's not kissin' anybody. (laughing) I'd be like he cares more than I care. I'm like I so trust them. I'm like I literally don't care. He's like I will not kiss. - Well there's also, I think there's a big difference too between like a peck on the lips versus like a make out. - Yeah, yeah you're like in bed making out with someone. Like you're not faking that. That is a real, you're really doing that thing. There's not, you were in bed making out. - You're right, don't get me close on it. You just have people watching but still you're actually doing that. There is no, I don't care how much you're like thinking of whatever bees and birds or whatever you're doing to distract yourself. You're really doing that, there's no faking it. I don't know, I would just feel weird. I would feel very weird. It would shake me. So yeah I'm not gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. - He kissed a girl. I actually haven't seen this episode, but he kissed a girl in Wizards. - Oh yeah, so funny. - My kids saw it. - Yeah. - They were like, "You have another wife!" Like, they were so awesome. - This is one of those like 16, 17 years old. - Okay. - And in the episode, I kissed a girl. - To be fair to them, you do look the same. I was like, they could've thought that was present day. - But like, they'll randomly bring it up. They're like, "They will." - They will. - They'll kiss another woman. (laughing) And they'll go up to her and be like, "Papa has a girlfriend." (laughing) - Yeah. - Do they watch the show often? - Sometimes, yeah. Sometimes they get into it a little too much. - Mine, I mean, you're all obsessed. - She'll just like repeat lines from the show. Like, she's the character. We have to be careful with her because she acts. Like, she has like four cameras on her at all times. Like, she'll like be seeing who's like, if she said something funny and someone laughs, she'll say it again. Like, the exact same thing to like. - Oh, Matt and Lance. (laughing) - Abby, Abby and her friends once played a prank on me in college. - I don't know. - I've never heard about this until like a year ago. - I don't know. - They wanted to see how far they could push me to keep making the same joke over and over again. - So, you're never gonna stop laughing. - You used to laugh me? - Yeah. (laughing) - They realized that I would keep making the same joke if they left. - Tell them the joke. - I don't remember what it was. - What's the joke? - No, no, no, it didn't matter the joke. - But it doesn't matter. - It's Abby's childhood best friend, Rince Morgan. She, for whatever reasons, always like laughed when I used to do stupid, like dad jokes. - And it always would like, me, I just keep going. - I do work without permission. - Yeah, 100%, 100%, so they just kept doing it. And I didn't even learn about this until we moved away. - That is awesome. - That is so funny. - Rince, never gonna stop laughing. - So at some point though, did you look around like, man, I'm really killing it. Like, I'm really. - It became one of those things where like, we're all collectively laughing, so just got so funny. - And then we just actually started laughing because they kept going. - No, they didn't get it. - And then I was laughing because they were laughing and then we were all so laughing. - That's awesome. - It was so funny. - Anyway. - I gotta view that. - Sometimes, well, this is terrible. But like, I'll play this joke, and this is bad. I probably shouldn't even say this. But we'll go, okay, if there's someone new at dinner, like, I don't know, I'm in a group of friends, I mean, bite someone new for dinner. We'll say, all right, everyone, bow your heads. We're gonna say a prayer before the meal. Please close your eyes, bow your heads. And then we'll all sneak away. - We'll take us quiet and we'll all walk away from the table. And then if the one person is there, the new person, they're just like, "When you're into an Italian family, they are just brutal." - Yeah, I wanna add what that was like for you to marry into an Italian family. What have you been reading recently, Matt Howard? - I've been listening to the goal. It's a book that Mr. Beast recommends for YouTubers to listen to. I love it. I think it's such a fascinating business book. What about you? What are you listening to right now? - I have been listening a lot more than usual recently. I just feel like it's the way that I can make the most out of my day as a parent. For me, I listen and read for entertainment. I've been reading our month's book club book, and I especially love listening to it because I comprehend it so much better too. And I always, always, always use Audible for it. We've used them for years. And the reason audio books are so great is because it enriches your time. You can really listen to so many things while you're also doing other tasks. You can listen to audio books while you do dishes, clean, or get ready for sleep. - And also, if you're someone that struggles with doom's scrolling, maybe you gotta try out Audible and listen to something that you can learn or even just a story that can transport you into a different world. It is healthy entertainment. There's really something for everyone on Audible. Stories that speak to you. New members can start listening with a 30 day free trial at audible.com/unplanned. - I am not, I'm very a little Italian. I'm like-- - Let's say when you first met my mom, the serving for someone in my mind. - This is really bad. I'm Irish. David likes to lovingly joke that I have a cold Irish heart. Like, my family did not group saying we loved each other. Like, we didn't hug. Like, we just went about our day. - Okay, yeah, we say I love you like 12 times. - Like, bizarre. - Good morning, I love you, and you say-- - Yeah, I love an Irish goodbye, generally. And so when I met his mom for the first time, I was over at his house. - Yeah, we had like Sunday bull and a's. It was like pasta with the family every Sunday. We do that. So she comes over. She's meet my mom for the first time to big deal. - Yeah, we're long distance. So I had like flown out to like see him and meet his family. And so I was getting ready to leave. And I thought to myself, Maria, don't you Irish goodbye. This is not the time. So I waived to everybody. - She like goes to the door and like waives by. - Bye guys. - And then leaves. - I did not know that in an Italian house that is unacceptable behavior. Like you're supposed to hug 50 times and kiss 50 times. - I see her leaving. - How was I supposed to know that? - I see her leaving. So I was like, okay, I gotta walk her to the car. And as I'm like, I go to the door to like walk away with her. I just feel the knives of my mother's stairs just like hitting me in the back. I was like, so I put it, I get her to her car. I go back in the house. My mom's. She's like, hey, go. - That was totally my mistake. - Thank you. It was my fault. And I get back in the house and my mom was like, so she doesn't care. She doesn't respect me. She didn't come say goodbye. She didn't give me a kiss. She didn't do anything. - I thought I was being so nice. - So the next time I was like, you gotta, especially when I got home. - Yeah, yeah, I was like, hey, just so you know, like in the future, I should have told you this, but like Italians, like you hug and kiss the mother or the non-twice. Like you start your good by tour with the mom. Then you go kiss everyone else. And then before you leave, you do another kiss. And like, that's just, that's how we grew up. - And when you say kiss, do you mean like the cheek thing? - Yeah, the cheek. - Like on the cheek, yes. - Exactly. - Exactly. - Okay. - I'm gonna need an explanation too. - I'll be honest, so I was just in Turkey and they do that in Turkey. - Yeah. - I got a chair transplant there a year ago. My brother got one. - Okay. - A couple months ago. - Yeah, and what? - It's a good place to be. - It turns to place to go for it. - It looks great. - Thanks, man. - I wouldn't get it right now. - It was the corners. We looked back at our high school prom, both of us together. And I still, I had the recession in the corners there, we brought it down. - Oh, it looks great. - Thank you. But we did the kiss. I just didn't know how to do this thing. And the person when I arrived was like, "Oh, good to see you," and they went for the thing. And I'm like, "I don't know what this is." So I explained that. Explain how to do the. - It is just on each cheek or one cheek. - I thought it was flirting with me. And when he did that the first time, I was like, "Oh, okay." - Maybe I was. - I love it. - And apparently he just said to everybody. - Yeah, no, it is very much a cheek to cheek. You kiss both sides, so you're kissing the totality of the person. - Okay. - You're kissing their entire being each side of their head, their head, their face. And you're so funny, 'cause it was the opposite when I went to visit her family. I go, her dad, who's the most awesome guy, by the way. But I go to meet him for the first time, and I was like, "Hey!" And he goes, "Purr there!" And I was like, "Oh!" - We are handshake, man. - Yes, she can, and her mom too. I was like, going like this, and her mom I could just tell, it was overwhelmed, and things were firing up in her head. - We don't love, we just don't do it. - And I was like, "Oh, yeah, nice to meet you." - And we love a hitch. - And so I was like, "All right, I'm gonna impress these people. I'm gonna make them dinner." So I made like a carbonara, I made a pinchetta, the whole thing, and then I made steak as well. And it took me like all day to make this. She's got seven brothers and sisters, and I was like, "I'm gonna make a great dinner for these guys." And so we have this beautiful sit down dinner. The food tastes great. I nailed it, I bought all the best stuff. - His Italian hands are out, that's how you know it's great. - Yeah, I went and bought some like nice Italian wine, it was just, it was all set up, it was perfect. And so we start eating. And five minutes in, no one has said a word about the food. Not one comment about the food. And I'm literally sweating. I start sweating 'cause I'm like, "These people hate my food." Like I did something wrong, but I'm tasting it. I'm like, "This is great." And we're eating, and family I come from, all we talk about is the food. We talk about every bite, and then we'll start talking about the next meal. We're gonna make the next day. It's literally all we talk about, we're gonna give you, and no one says a word. They're just like, chumming it up, talking about sports or whatever. - He had to have- - He had to have- - Literally sweating. - For his own compliment. - Yeah, at some point I go, I lean over the table. I go, "So." - What are we talking about? - How's the food? - And they're like, "Oh yeah, it's good, it's good." And they carried right on talking about whatever. - Yeah. - And I afterward to put Maria aside, and I was like, "What happened?" No one talked about the food, they just said it was good. And she goes, "Yeah, 'cause it was good." - It was good. - And I went, "No!" - That was such a compliment. I'm like, "No, they liked it." - We didn't talk about the way that I cooked the steak. We didn't talk about the ingredients in the carbonara. We didn't talk about any, like, there was none of that, and it's just a different culture. It's a completely different culture. - Well, that's- - So we've now gotten used to- - I've been simulated more to you. We're now like, "I will kiss everybody." - And it's just everybody. - Everybody just to be safe. - We've been cooking flavor and putting a lot of flavor in the food, and yeah. The Irish aren't known for their cuisine. - One time I made him. - Do you clog? - Chicken. I actually- - She's a professional Irish dancer. - Wait, no, wait, wait. - I was thinking. - She was competing in worlds. - Yeah, she's serious. - Yeah, yeah, one of the top Irish dancers. - And my parents would like, - He'd like, - Pimp us out to, like, bars. We'd all go. - We were like 10. - So when she won Miss Delaware and did Miss America, Irish dancing was her talent. - That was my talent. - I am just learning so much 'cause I was seeing you with eight brothers or whatever, eight kids. - Yeah, I'm still clogging in a farm in the middle of nowhere. And then you're an L.A. on Disney Channel. - Yes, palm trees. - It's perfect. - Highs and lows, you balance each other out. It was so nice marrying someone that just couldn't care less about Hollywood about any shows that they did or anything of a so nice meeting someone who was completely normal and couldn't care less about that. Just wanted, like, 'cause I had dated actresses and that I would have been so miserable. - Just me. - That's right, yes. - Just me. - I would have been so miserable. I would have been so miserable. And, like, this is so nice. - The clogging will do that. I guess. - The clogging will humble you. - That's super Catholic, right? Because I went, they go. - Well, the Catholic church that was like five minutes from my house growing up, the only place I've ever seen clogging was there. - Oh, no. - They did the same thing. They're just like St. Patrick's Festival. - Oh yeah, we love St. Patrick's Festival. - And you know, they had like all the elementary school age girls clogging and doing their performance is super cute. And then they have like, what's the thing the people eat for St. Patrick's Day? - Oh, it's probably not good. I'm a hater on that. - What's the meat, the corn beef? - Corn beef, the corn beef. - It's not great, it's not great. - That, a lot of Irish immigrants, you know, they bring over their tradition, a lot of more Catholic. And I actually find Irish dancing to be very beautiful. I think it's a beautiful modest art form. And she's great. - I'm making my seven year old do it. - And she loves it. - Yeah, that's cute. - That's because I'm her teacher. - It's because she's gonna love it. (laughs) - That's cute. - Something I've learned over the years is the most meaningful gifts when it comes to the holiday season aren't always the trendiest or most expensive items. I'm talking about something that has sentimental value. Something that maybe captures a memory that you have with the loved one. And that's why we are huge fans of Shutterfly. They make it easy to turn your favorite photos into gifts like photo books, ornaments, calendars, mugs and blankets. I mean, they even have puzzles, coasters. Think about how fun it would be. Gryffin puzzle for Oggy and an Oggy puzzle for Gryffin. - Oh, so cute. - They would love that. - And they would have puzzles and it's their favorite person ever. - Oh yeah. And we've been using Shutterfly for years. I remember in high school looking at Abby's old family photos on Shutterfly. - You're not gonna just necessarily scroll through old photos like that all the time on your phone, but you will if it's in a physical book on your table. They make great talking points for when you have guests over. - Make something that means something this holiday. Shopshutterfly.com/audio for gifts like custom mugs, photo books, calendars, blankets and ornaments. And right now, get 40% off your order plus 10 free holiday cards with promo code unplanned. Details are on the side. Is that, is it, okay, so I actually did tap growing up-- - Oh, did you? - I did like nine years of tap 'cause we met them in theaters. - That's awesome. - We wanted to do Broadway for the longest time. - Oh, and is tap similar to-- - So you sing? - No, I wish, it's the thing I really wish. I tried to sing. I did acting, yeah. - She's a really tap actress. - Oh yeah, give her a hug. - That's like kids show coming out. You guys should voice over acting. - Yes, right here. You gotta do a voice on our show. - She's really good. - Well, he's a theater too. You guys can be a married couple on the show. - We should do something. - Abby's really good. She took acting super seriously growing up. And I, so I had a brief stint, nothing even close to what you did on Disney Channel. But I did some professional theater and I was a child actor and local regional theater productions. - Nice. - And so I felt, I felt like, man, I got this. I'm good at this. - Yeah. - I go to my high school theater audition - We're dating at this time. - Without even reading the script. Okay, that's how confident I was. - Nice. - I got this. I don't even need to read the script. - Like what's that confidence? - Abby, after the audition is like, did you seriously just audition for the musical without even reading the script? - Wow. - Yeah, what the heck. I just, I don't need to, I don't need to. - This is a high school show, I've done, I've done. And so I didn't get the lead, but I got the supporting role because like, I just, I don't know. It was like a British character that I did a silly British accent. And it just- - Okay, you can do accents. - It landed. - Kind of. - You know what I said? - We are not auditioning right now. (laughing) - No, I'm literally doing an animated show. And we're looking for great voice talent. - He was talking about it with me two days ago. - Did your kids watch Wildcrats? - They love Wildcrats. - Wait, I'm not even keen. That's actually like, seriously, their favorite thing. - Okay, so watching Wildcrats with my brother, right? - This is crazy. - Yeah, so we're watching Wildcrats. It's like one of the things we can show our kids 'cause it's completely harmless. It's a good show. - Our kids watch the same shows. - 'Cause we're so, I think we're indicative of many parents out there who are just concerned with what their kids are watching. 'Cause there's so many subliminal messages that are getting put in content by people who don't share our worldview, right? So we're watching Wildcrats 'cause it's a safe show and it's a good show. And my brother and I just finished making a show for Netflix called a Tale Dark and Grim and animated show 'em. We got nominated for an Emmy for the best children and family animated show. - It's amazing. - So we're coming off this high. We're like, dang, we made a really beautiful thing and we're watching Wildcrats and we turn to each other and we're like, why don't we have something like this for the faith? Like where are the stories of our Christian heroes? Like, kids are looking up to Superman and Batman and Spider-Man, which is fine. There's great virtue in those stories. But they're not real. Like where are the real heroes? So we had this light bulb moment where we were like, let's have a show where you have two brother adventures that are walking in the footsteps of Christian heroes and then two minutes into the show, it morphs into an animated adventure where you're witnessing what this Christian hero went through. So for instance, Valentine, Valentine's Day. No one knows, Valentine was a priest who was marrying people when it was illegal to marry Christians at that time, it was in the year like 300 something. - I didn't even know this. You could not be Christian and you could not get married. It was illegal. He was in catacombs marrying people and he gave his life for it. They caught him and he lost his life for it. So what a beautiful story where you get to go back and time and witness this like rogue, rough and tumble priest who's like running from the Romans, going into catacombs marrying people. I was like, that's a great lesson for kids. - Did they? - No one? - Valentine, they cut off his head. - They cut off his head. We don't show that in the show, obviously. - Yeah. - How do they? - But they cut off his head. But you see him meet this young couple in the show and you see him help them take the risk of marrying and talk about love and they're running from authorities and it's a beautiful story and it's funny. It's funny. It's like wild prats and-- - And animated David. - Yeah, so it's me Lorenzo, the two brothers, Jonathan Rumi from The Chosen, plays one of the voices in the show. It's called Halo Heroes. And so we're literally doing it right now. We'll come out next November. - It's so cool. - And it is a voice over actors. - I'm so mad. - We send me the link. - We're doing Patrick's Day. And it's just all different Christian heroes who help build Western society. And I feel like I want to do this for my kids. - That's really cool. - We're going to shoot all over Europe. So the first two minutes, you'll get this really cool, almost travel show thing where me and my brother's character are walking in the footsteps of these real people. So kids will see, no, they were in this place at this time and it was real. - Wow. - So this is animated or it starts live action. It'll start just like Wildcats. It'll start live action where we're walking in the footsteps of whoever the Christian hero is. - Okay. - So for Valentine, they have part of his remains in Rome. So we're going to get to go witness that. And so the first two minutes of the show, the kids will see, this is a real person. This isn't fake, this is a real person. And then it morphs into an animated adventure. So we need voices. - Okay. - I will. - That's so cool. - And I will not be offended. (laughing) - What was, okay. - We need British accents and some of them. - You need British accents. - No, no, no, no, no, no. - You literally die. - Let's go. Okay, right now. Ready, we're going to do it right now. - Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, guys. - Okay. - Okay. - I want high school confidence. You don't need to read the script. - You need a guy like Workshop. (laughing) - Okay, so okay. So you come into a room. You come into a room. - We're doing it, we're doing it. And you are like an English noble, okay, you're an English noble, and I say to you, we're just making this up by the way. This isn't in the script, right? But I want to hear your accent. - Oh, God. - I say to you how you're doing. - Absolutely. - And I want you to say, today is wonderful and the family is well, okay? - Oh, God. - All right, so I'm going to say the line to you. You respond. Today is wonderful, the family is well. So all, all right, ready? Here we go. Three, two, one. - So it's just a question for you. How is your day and how's the family? - Today is wonderful and the family is well. - Exactly how you did it. That was fun. - By the way, the fluttering handwings, I think that really, I'm literally, like, spurred. - No, we need to like run this back where we just zoom in on the hands, like boom, boom, on the hands. - I like that. - I think that would be good. - Okay. - We can work on it. - We can work on it. We're speaking of strong choices. You've got a very fun children's book out. Is God bigger than a fire breathing dragon? Talks me about this. That's really exciting. - Oh, I have a dragon. - Oh, is God bigger than a dragon? - Well, you know what? My son's question was, is God bigger than a fire-moving dragon, Papa? So this all started because, like, Mariana would just be, you know, our kids ask all these questions and sometimes you write them down. I don't know if you guys write down funny things your kids say, but like-- - You should write them down. - You should write these things down. - Because they're funny years later also. And my son James would just come up to us and he looks just like this character, but he would come up to us and he'd always be like, he'd be like, Papa, I've been thinking about God. Is he bigger than New York City? And I'd be like, oh, it's so cute when he'd write it down. And it would make a great conversation because we would get into the omnipotence and omnipotence of God. These are big concepts that a kid's trying to wrestle with. And so we get into a conversation about God and his size and power. And then like the next day he'd be like, well, he's got bigoted in a megawatton and we'd have a conversation about that. He's got bigoted in a five-leafing dragon and he was just really lameless for like months on end asking these questions about how big God is. And we're just like having our Sunday night like chill, glass of wine, hang out in bed time. And I was like, you know, these are so funny. This is a book. - Yeah. - Like, this is a book. Let's have the question, let's rhyme a response that talks about how big God is. And then I was like, what's even, what could be even cooler, because I don't want our kids to get to know the Bible. But what could be even cooler is if in the corner of every page we have a Bible verse that correlates to the question. And at the end of the book we challenge the reader, hey, pick your kid's favorite image, crack open the Bible and turn it into a Bible study. And so every verse correlates to the question like, he says, dad is God bigoted in this much his arms are stretched and big and out there and it says yes far bigger than this much God's love is more than you can touch. It's height and depth. No mind can know. Yet stilly bends and loves you. So, and Ephesians 3, 18, like directly correlates to the question. So, it's a way to kind of get into the Bible with your little kid and kind of link that, hey, sacred scripture can play out in different ways. So, we wanted to really make a way to engage with the Bible in a fun way. So, they can pick their favorite picture and then crack open the Bible and get into it. And we also wanted to show like multiple kids. Like, I feel like our generation are having more kids and like, I want to celebrate that that like, you know, the old time thought on just like, just one and done kind of thing. I was like, no, I want to celebrate families. I want to celebrate big families. So, we got three kids here and she's pregnant and. - That is true, it's a fun, it's a fun. - The illustrations are beautiful. - Oh, yeah, that's all her idea. - We like like normal, okay, first of all, I like things that are old, like things in my house. I want them before 1900. I just like old, like timeless things. And like a VHS player, by the way. - Yeah. - And so I just wanted like something like classic and traditional kind of like Norman Rockwelly and yeah, something that doesn't age. - And she'll buy old books, like she'll buy like old books. She read from a kid, she doesn't want to buy the new version. She'll buy the old one and that's what they read with the kids. She likes to smell the pages and stuff. It's really weird. - Wow. - It's really weird. - I actually do. I can't even say anything to that. - And this is her first ever book together, right? First children's book, first project that you guys have worked on. - Have you been a project you guys have ever worked on together? Is this the first one? - Other than the four children. - Other than the four children, this is the first one. - No, other than me judging his wives behind the scenes. No, I like doing things behind the scenes. I just, yeah, this is our first thing that we're doing together, which is fun. - It's been really fun for us to work on this and to get to see her creative potential and desires flourish. It's been really, really fun to see. - So which role do you take over and what role do you take over when you collaborate creatively? - That's a good question. What was it back and forth? I don't know if there was any particular order. It was kind of like, for the book in particular, we had the questions already written. Like all the questions are my son's questions that are in there. And it kind of gets a little scary in the end too, which I think is good. It's like, is God afraid of the, is God bigger than my fears? Is God bigger than the dark? And that's kind of cool, 'cause you can get into some deeper things with kids. So we have some good responses to that in here. - It's cool. - So it'd be something where like, she would have a rough sketch of it, and then I would be like, oh, he asked about the dark or his fears one time. That would be really cool to put at the end of the book, kind of build to a place where you're talking about some deeper things and it kind of gets a little more emotional in the end. I was like, I love those kinds of books as a parent where you get choked up at the end. - What's that one? The From Boy Mama? - I love Forever. - Oh, that book is sad. - Forget about it. - She or the giving tree? The giving tree. - Oh, it's giving trees. - Tears. My mom used to read that. My mom could never get through it. It was like a joke. I don't know. That's so wild that you said that. She used to read that to us and she would cry and we didn't understand until I recorded him reading it to our kids, because he couldn't get through. - I literally got the frog in my throat and I couldn't finish and I was crying. And especially that I love you forever. I like you for always that book. - Yeah. - I don't know why the giving tree one makes me sad, but I'll love you forever. Like literally, I get emotional at the end. It's just like, I see me and our kids and them all grow numb. - Anyone who's a parent knows feeding decisions aren't a one-time thing. You make them again and again, stage after stage, and that's why we're huge fans of Little Spoon. It's meals that our kids actually want to eat. Sometimes when our kids just ask for mac and cheese over and over again, I want to give them some variety. - As their appetites grow to do their opinions. - Yes. - But with Little Spoon, the kids win and the parents win because the plates are heat and eat meals with superfoods and hidden veggies. They're great for picky eaters, which we know those. And getting meal time on the table in minutes. - Lunchures are an nostalgic better for you versions of the classics we grew up with, perfect for backpacks and busy days, while still delivering real nutrition and all day fuel with over 10 grams of protein per meal. Feeding the kids doesn't have to be complicated. Little Spoon makes it easy with real nutritionally balanced meals and snack design for every stage. It shows up ready to go, takes the pressure off and somehow still gets devoured, veggies and all. - No artificial diets, flavors, or sweeteners either. And you know what? That's the win I'll take every single time. Get 30% off your first online order at littlespoon.com/unplan30, with code unplanned30. That's L-I-T-T-L-E-S-P-O-O-N, dot com slash unplanned30, with code unplanned30 for 30% off your first order. - On the subjects of our kids and them growing up, wanting to build a good life for them, something that you've talked about, which I found really interesting was that you wouldn't want your kids to be child actors. I find it so fascinating. And to hear from someone who made it, who achieved that success, who was on arguably one of the most influential Disney channel shows of all time, to hear you say, "I don't want my kid to be a child actor." It's interesting. - I came out on the other side positively because I have really good parents. Parents who didn't need me to, didn't need me to make money, didn't need me to support the family, didn't need me to do anything. They treated it like you'd support a kid in a sport. So they always made it fun for me. So I came out of it healthier mentally than a lot of people that I grew up with. I mean, I know people try to commit suicide or a dead or a overdose. And the reason that is is 'cause their parents needed them to make money and put this pressure on the kid to like, "Hey, you gotta be the breadwinner." And that's a terrible dynamic for kids and families. And so many times that's more common that the parents are really more living out their dream and that they're pushing this poor kid to be a young professional and that's a lot of pressure. So I was lucky that my parents did it in the most healthy way possible. That being said, I was in so many abnormal situations as a young person that's still required years of therapy that later on in life because as a nine, 10, 11, 12 year old, going to four, five, six auditions, sometimes multiple auditions a day, six auditions a week, learning all these different lines, agents, managers, lawyers, driving all over town, hours between drives to do this life and to live this life. It is a grind. And then the pressure that a young kid faces when you're like, okay, of the 10 things you audition for, you book two of them and you're gonna go shoot and the spotlights are on and hundreds of people are there and you're sitting there and your heart's fluttering and so at an early age you get used to those spikes. Those like high cortisol, high pressure filled moments and it builds this people pleaser thing in you that you're always worried about what people think and you always want them to love you and like you and you're used to walking in rooms going love me. That's just what's built into you 'cause you're constantly doing that for years on end. And I didn't realize what I did to myself psychologically with good parents by the way who are supporting me and we're always saying like, the second you don't wanna do this, we're out but I was very competitive person and I was like, I'm staying in and it's like even having that support system I had all these bad tendencies built into me that when I became an adult was really hard to deal with. Things I'd have to go to therapy for and really undo in my brain and still struggle with to some degree or another. So I would love my kids to be performers. I'd love for them to be in the performing arts. They dance, they do ballet, they do Irish dance. We do plays but I don't want them to do the grind of a child actor. I don't want them to have to go through that intense life. Like the professional level. Yes, like the money involved. What about your projects, do you think different? Oh yeah, I would. They could work for me. Yeah, I can control it and I can make it easy and all that. Yeah, they'll do little parts in some of my stuff. But in general, the grind of a child actor, no, very unhealthy and you're also surrounded by oftentimes very broken people who are trying to escape a life that they came from and don't share your worldview and that also is a whole other conversation in itself. But yeah, I don't want to put them in expose them to that stress and that I want them to just be kids. Well, I was going to say he had wrapped season three of the reboot show that he did. And that was a discussion we had. It was he's like, there's a part for our seven-year-old to like be in the background if we want her to do that. And so that was a conversation like, do we do that? Like it's the last season and we just, we just couldn't do it. Even though she wouldn't even be saying anything, there's just something like she loves going to set. And especially when it's his show, people are super nice to her, do it. I mean, she thrives on a set and that's also not the real world. And that's one of the reasons we left L.A. Not that we have anything like this is really like a bone to pick with L.A. But we just want them to be as normal as possible and we're like, yeah, we didn't even want her to do that. That's part of why, like, and I get comments from people all the time, like, why didn't your wife of social media? Why doesn't she want to be on social media? And that's part of what we discussed. There wasn't any, like, certainly there wasn't me saying, get off social media or anything like that. It was just a discussion we had where we were like, my life tends to be so in front of the spotlight and in interviews and press and flying all over the place and that just comes with my life and it was your idea. Where you were just like, you know what? I think our family has enough exposure-- I don't know how you guys do it, and it's like hearing what everyone has to say about you all the time. I'm just like not built like that. Like some people are like built to like withstand, standing in front of like a table of adults and hearing, like, it's not good enough. I'm not built like that. I'm just not built like that. I don't know. I don't think anyone's really built for the social media thing. You just have to learn to-- Yeah, I yeah, I find your identity. Yeah, yeah, brains evolved. to understand how to grapple with that. And that's where I'm interested too. You luckily grew up in a time in the Golden Area of Disney Channel where social media wasn't a thing. But then eventually it did become a thing though. And then eventually as an adult, you're having all these people who have a pair of social relationships with you speculate about your life, say potentially hurt the things to you on the internet. Did you go to therapy for that? How did you handle? I mean, Twitter came out when we were doing the original show. I remember I took Selena's phone. I was like, you got to make a Twitter and I made her a Twitter on, yeah. You made it. I made Selena's Twitter. But it was just coming online as we were starting the show. So seeing that quick feedback was crazy. And in addicting in a sense, because you're getting, a lot of it is praise. And so you're getting all these kind of dopamine hits. But no, then you get all the negative stuff. And I still get so much negativity and people don't like that I'm outspoken about my faith. And that stuff hurts, that stuff hurts. It's not, especially when people comment on your work or different shows that you make, which made the third season of this show. And people are assuming, by and large, it's very positive feedback. The show affected so many people. The family values of the original show really took root in so many people. And I love meeting fans who are parents now who are parents that watch the original show who now have kids. And they're watching this new show with their kids. And they're re-experiencing the Russo family values and love with their children. And that makes me so happy. That was the whole goal and purpose of doing this new show. But certain people online will create whole fictitious narratives over, no, thinking they know me or thinking they know my intentions with the show. And I'm like, this is so wrong. But I don't comment on it. 'Cause I'm like, you know what, I'm not going to cause a fight. It's not worth it. The show is out of it. It shows me. It did what it did. Like, if they only knew the truth, it's like, yeah. - Does it make you guys like look at headlines different? 'Cause I feel like it's me. - I don't think it's, I don't believe it's not. - Any headline, I'm like, there is always another side. I don't know. That makes me look at the news different. - That's why I love podcasts though, because I love to just actually hear someone talk. And actually just be who they are. And you can't really, you can't really fake who you are for an hour on a podcast. When I think back in the day, you kind of could fake a person out. You could fake something that you weren't for, for the media, for the news. And that's the cool thing about social media is you can actually have these authentic conversations. - Yeah, that's true. - That's why I feel really. - Yeah, and you're not just celebrity, famous people. You know, your parents, you are husband and wife. And that's like kind of the fun nuance that we get to add in this conversation. I'm just so curious what it's like having a baby that's one month old right now. And you're here. - I literally just thought. I wonder if it's five days after. - What? - I was at Jiu-Jitsu with, he's like put him in Jiu-Jitsu and boxing, this kid's gonna like be a killer when he's older. Not a literal killer. - He's older by the way. - But yeah, I was at Jiu-Jitsu five days after. For some reason, four has been way more easy than three. I'm like, weirdly thriving. - I saw the meme the other day and I showed this with you before, but it was like, one kid is one kid, two kid is two kids, three kids is 12 kids, four kids is four kids. - How are you guys doing with three? - That's how we fought with three. - I would say three is going baby. - Three I think has been a very easy transition for us. - I feel like that's awesome. - Yeah, I feel like, we have a bigger age gap. I feel like that adds nuance. And also with him being a rainbow baby, I feel like I'm like anything, kind of like what you say with the birth, like I'm like anything that happens, I'm not gonna, I'm just so glad you're here. Like I don't, I don't have any, I have no place. - I watched your birth vlog. I don't know if that's what it was called. - Yeah, yeah. - When you put him on your chest and you said, I could cry just thinking about when you said I'm so glad you're here. I just so felt that deep in my soul. And like I feel like anyone that's gone through that would feel like, oh that's all you want. - Yeah, it makes it. - You can make me have puffing on my lungs. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm like, you can do it all night long. But he doesn't, he actually sleeps, which is crazy. But for us, three has been a pretty easy transition. But we had really not graceful transitions from zero to one and one and two. So really anything is better than me. - Yeah. - Good. - Yeah, thank God. - What was your pregnancy like with Peter with him after having so many losses? - It was tough because I do that. So I've had most of them were all first trimester. I feel like the second trimester throws you because the second trimester loss, I should say, throws you because for all of my pregnancies, I felt safe after like eight weeks. And when I had the second trimester, I just like didn't feel safe for basically the entire pregnancy to be honest. I was on a flight. I remember I got the text in the air that she was miscarrying and I was just devastated. - Yeah, I think just because it was so visually brutal and I was by myself, I've never had a panic attack in my life. I don't really struggle with anxiety or anything like that. I like fully panicked. I was like, I literally out loud was saying, help me to nobody. It was just bad. It was bad. But it made me just feel less safe for like any pregnancy and for anyone that's been through loss, it's like even hard to know that I'm pregnant. At this point, just because I've been through so many, that it takes away the joy almost. And it took me years to learn how to be joyful for other people, years. Now I feel like God gave me the grace times five 'cause now anyone tells me they're pregnant. I get a weird amount of joy for them, but that took a lot of prayer to get to. But yeah, it made this pregnancy really tough as in terms of, I think just like seeing her little body just made me like want it to be over. Honestly, like I should have just induced, they were trying to get me to induce at like 39 weeks because he was so big. And part of me was just wanted to do it just so it would be over with. So it does like take away the joy out of pregnancy, which is kind of a bummer. But yeah, it made it, it definitely made it more difficult, but then when they're here, it's like man, you just appreciate their life so much more and your other kids. It's a miracle that our kids are here. Anything could go wrong. So it just makes you appreciate it, but it doesn't make the pregnancy easy mentally. I feel like. I don't know if you thought that. I was like, I don't know that I had like that much fun being pregnant like this past time. It's just scary. But I also did, was very aware of how human, he was from the very beginning, like the whole time 'cause I was like, I've seen a baby born too early. Yeah. I know that you're a baby in there. Yeah, how's your healing coming from that? Like mentally? Like do you feel like? No, sometimes I think I'm really good in the other days. I've just knocked on my butt. It's like I thought that after having a rainbow baby, I would feel healed. Yeah. Whether or not I would have said that, I'd probably would have said no, I know this is going to be something that is hard for us in my life. But I probably would internally was like, but once I happened, my rainbow baby like, I'll feel better. No, I'm like, I don't feel like I thought I would, you know? So even other people's pregnancy is like, I'm kind of scared for sometimes. Yeah. Yeah, like do you like let them know that like, yeah, it's hard to know. I'm like if you're blissfully ignorant, I'm like, please stay that way. Like it, please stay that way because I want to go back. But I also know that like I've gained a lot from knowing that like going through our child with it. But yeah, so you guys are getting some sleep because you look rested. Yeah, we're doing our best. The baby's been last night. He had the zoomies last night. Last night. He was so poor, yeah, he was rough last night. But he's been good. I think the flight and everything, being in the pressurized cabin and what I think that played a role to him last night. But he's been a good man. He's such a good boy. It's for the perfect number. We'll take whatever God gives us. That's how I'll take it over. We're totally open. It's so funny like people in your comments are like, stop. I don't, people are like mean. And you like have four plus kids are like. Oh, people are mean. Do you guys about having four kids? Oh, yeah. The tough thing is like, I feel like your childhood shapes. You're like view of the world. I'm one of seven. So when people are like, that's so many kids. Like when are you going to stop? In my brain, seven is like a big number. So I'm like, oh, four is not that big. Maybe because like he's really easy. And just like the transition's been easy. I'm like, it doesn't seem like that many to me. I feel like that's typical, like Catholic families, typically have big families. My grandpa was one of seven, I think, and he was Catholic. Yeah, so one of the things when we were first dating that like we like agreed on. We were like, and by agree, like you'll understand. We said, let's just say like the amount of kids we want to have on the count of three. Let's just see how close we are. And this is what this is one. This is great. We're going to go one, two, three, 10. Oh, we're both set. I'm older. I'm not have, like, this is not physically possible for me to have 10. But it was just, that's what, it was funny. We said the same thing. I always wanted a big family. Like my siblings and I are super close. My parents had seven kids in nine and a half years. So we are like jam packed in there. We talk every day. Like it's the most fun thing ever. Whoa, whoa, whoa, seven and nine years. And she did it with no help. I don't know how. Like now that I'm like in the thick of it, I'm like, how did you do that? I would literally no help all by yourself. Yeah, so I don't think we're going to tag, but-- Mom's making happen. They-- 100%. Yes, so y'all are amazing. That's amazing. It's amazing. That's so cool. Well, I have a fun little game for us to play to wrap. You guys want to-- I love to hear. Sure, let's play again. --agree to disagree. So it's OK. Just the two of you guys playing, actually. OK. I'm going to make a statement. And then you can respond with, agree or disagree. OK. OK. Cool. Are we trying to match answers? Or as a part on personal personal one and it'll be fun if you guys agree if you guys disagree on one Okay, okay agree to disagree we are like the same person agree to disagree waiting until marriage make sure relationships stronger agree agree Strongly agree. Yeah, you you married the chastity You're like I want I want to marry the chastity speaker It's like if nothing else that like he you show that you can have self-control and you need that marriage I mean responsibility self-control all of that virtue like that's not an easy thing to do and like that that strongly agree and this Statistics show it to like buy in large marriages last way longer if you wait like it's just it's empirical at this point But sorry keep that that's good. That's really good and happy now. We're talking about see other day We're like people that are married are are more More active like then then people that aren't I mean like You want to talk about like frequency? It's like man the people yeah, I mean rage was great anyway Yeah, we love being married Yeah, we say that all the time. We're like it's just it's nice to be murdered okay, okay agree to disagree soulmates are real three two one I think you disagree Why don't you disagree because we have free will and and this is literally Now this is a theological debate though because you said free will but then there's people that are our Oh gosh Calvinist that's what it is we're the predestination Yes, no, yeah, exactly no, we have free will we we we can determine who we're going to be with correct It's it's it's really tough to say a comment like this because I feel like theologically you twist yourself in knots But like you can not choose the person that maybe God wanted for you because you have free will However God will then work with your will and your choice to get the best thing from it It's like in one sense God knows everything. He knows exactly here again End up within he's a hundred percent right about that, but in another sense what he knows about you is a collection of your freely Decided choices that then make up the totality of of your life. So it's soulmate like In a sense of my soul mate In one sense I can agree with that like because God wanted us together and work together and we in we love it I couldn't be with anyone else so in one sense. Yes, but in the other sense There it's not like a Disney movie where it's like you only have one person out there And you have to find that one specific thing It's like no there's millions of people out there and you have to use your free will Well to like find the best person for you and then that becomes your soulmate We might agree with that I disagree with the Disney concept of like like a soulmate, but I agree that there's one person that God wants for you Maria, what are you what are you thinking about this? We've talked about this before and so I knew who's gonna say disagree But I'm just like yeah, we're are really made decisions and and I think it could also like I think you'd be a barrier to entry for like the dating scene Like where it's like I have to find the soulmate. It's like an added pressure of like it's this charming magical Disney special Twinkly thing that's there and it's like you know no like just forget all that and like try to find the person You're gonna get to heaven with and you raise children with and that you fall madly in love with and yeah I don't know I just feel like the the soulmate word is a lot of baggage with it that can create barriers to entry when you're trying to date and what not we've got Oh, this is good agree or did agree to disagree parents shouldn't post their children on social media agree now I agree generally especially for people more like in the spotlight. Yeah I noticed that you guys started putting hearts over their faces because kids were people recognizing our kids in public with out and around without you around Yeah, they would go start going up to Pia. Oh, I saw you because I do these like tick-tock or videos with them and they get 10 20 30 Some 40 million views on some of them and so people were watching and then people started going up to her when she was just out with the kids and like are you Pia? and I wasn't there one time it happened with with your mom and Pia they want to be okay I loved it. Don't get me wrong. She's like I'm a star And it's like I don't want that for her genuinely wanted to have a normal childhood completely normal and when she's a Woman she can decide who she wants to be an entertainer or whatever because even for you like you at seven years old people Were they recognizing you at seven? Not seven, but like nine 10 11. Yeah, yeah, that problem. That's weird Has to definitely change your brain in some way totally for everyone to like come up to you and and fan girl or whatever Very very I'm now that I'm an adult. I try to put a smile on everyone's face and very grateful for it But no, yeah, it's it's weird as a kid That's but not least we've got having kids make having more kids makes life better agree to disagree Yes, 100% agree. Yes. Why was it? Why were you questioning that? Well, I mean some people can't have large families and their lives are still great I would say that's that's thoughtful of you because yeah, it would be hard to be someone that like once that big family But they can't my I'm telling you when you go through pregnancy loss my brain In still I don't know why my brain will instantly go there. I'm like, but what about the people that like wanted a big family But can't but I would say for us. It has made our lives so fun But yeah, I would say generally yes for us, but I'm like I feel bad for the people that Totally yeah, it's been a month. I can't you guys thank you so much for coming on That was so fun. So much chatting with you. I feel like we got deep, but we laugh To move to Arizona. Yeah, move to Arizona you guys David and Maria thank you, and you guys will see you back next week with another episode of unplanned peace