Dave Attell & Ian Fidance - Skanks Got Talent - Episode 941

Fill her up. You are listening to the gas digital network. When you hit that bomb drop, block, block, You know what to do, Hoping up the pit, Bitch I'm coming through. Big J, The battle rap jam, All up in your ass with the strap, Ready to tag, tag, Get jiffy the jewel, Clip dicks, Glitch you into like a sunset, El President Day, Puerto Rican rattlesnakes, Then I'm in your veins, Natural born killers, Legion escapes. What was I like to say? Holy shit! Holy shit! Happy Pride Month! We're doing it! Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay. Oh boy! The spring turns better get their ass holes ready. Because we're gonna do some gay shit to their butt hole. Well some prideful shit is what I call it. Prove you're an ally the other way. Welcome to your favorite podcast everybody. To my right is always the great Ari Shafir. Woo! [Applause] To my left, the Puerto Rican rattlesnakes, Lewis Shagomas! [Applause] And I'm Big Jay Okerson and we are the Legendary Legion of Skanks. Yes! Three for life. You know what I'm happy? You know what my favorite thing in the world is? What? The fact that it's three, four, life. That's right. The three of us for the rest of our fucking lives points. This is it. We'll never end this podcast. We start together, we end together. Three, four, life. But we don't all want, we don't all want these drinks. This is all for Big Jay. Big Jay gets all of these drinks. Another three of us, you would think three shots. No, it's not how it works. Jay's trying to hang out with my friends. Jay eats three shots of heart out all week. To hang out with his friends. He hates us. But I can tolerate all of you with this. Three shots of the keys. We have an amazing show for you. We have great guests. So let's get them the fuck out here so we can start a party. Yeah. Our first guest, you know, from Ian Doe on YMH Studios. How about you know him from being Ian with Jordan? How about you know him from Wild Happy and Free, a special available on YouTube. Make some noise for the hilarious Ian. Bye. [MUSIC] Let's go. [MUSIC] It's a miracle. He walks. [MUSIC] What's up, Ellen? Oh, thanks. Thank you, gimmick. This is all fucking out of whack. God damn it. No, soda. What the fuck is happening? Hey, gimmick, just drop off the fucking drinks and beat it. What do you do? What's the story about it? Gimmick, face to face. [APPLAUSE] This face is an honor of MSU. They're spring-torn Olympians. Yeah, we're hazing them. Thank you, gimmick. They're pledges right now. Wait, why do you call them gimmick? That's the name. 'Cause he looks like a fucking wrestler for me. He is a wrestler. That's what it is. Are you really? Then why are you putting up with this? Did we say talk to our fucking guests, gimmick? Get the fuck out of here, gimmick. Get out of here. Get out of here. Yes, hold on. I like old crotchety Ian. He's great. Can't Ian? He really helps them. Hi. All right. Get out of here. Our second guest, everybody. You know I'm from a special Hot Cross Buns on Netflix. He is the living legend. Make some noise for the great Dave Atel. Thank you very much. Oh yeah. Thanks for having me on, Lewis, Jay, and what happened to Dave? Dave's one-time friend of the show. We loved Dave. Oh, really? It's been the three of us for life. No way. Wow. But I prepared all these notes for Dave. It's the first time I'm on this podcast since Lewis tried to put acid on successfully to Joe Smith acid with Dave. Oh, wow. That was the last time you were on together? Yeah. That's crazy. Wow. Yeah, no shit. That worked out pretty for me. Well, I know it's slow in the summer, but what's this special needs doing here? Ian? Yeah. Oh, oh. I mean, full curtain pull. You made us put them on. I know. I did. Full curtain. You know, it's the-- Dave can't go anywhere without Ian. He loves you so much. Yes. We love having you on, too. Every, every Batman needs a cat woman. You know what I mean? First laugh of the podcast. Good drive. I'm just getting warmed up. Am I right? New Dave? I liked the duerex back. It's always the harbinger of summer. Oh, yeah. Then we know, yeah, with the duerex back. It's Mandani casual. That's right. Well, look, we're very excited for you guys. Number one, it's Pride Month, which is pretty fucking sick. You guys know that we're allies, and we always have been allies. Yeah. Guys, it's our family's being confused. Like, wait, what? I thought we hit gay people. Nope. Yeah, if you don't applaud when we say allies, it makes us real bigots. So you guys better get it. We're allies. So we're celebrating gay month by doing some gay things. I'm sure on today's show. And then we also have round two of our spring-turn Olympics, which is very exciting. We're down to six spring-turn Olympians. Guys, give it up for them. They're in the corner over there. I hope it can top the drop a drink off and leave event. What was that all about? I just saw it from the distance. What was going on over here? Well, so we have the same question. Six internal Olympians who are competing to become our new intern. Sure. Throughout the show, they are a little disorganized, but they still have to get us our drinks and stuff. So they're clanking all into each other and don't know what's going on. I get it. Yeah, but we're treating them like pledges for fraternity. So you can do whatever you want to. They're buttholes, they're bodies. You can yell. You can throw things at them. Okay. Yeah, get in there, Dave. We'll want a second. Mix it up. Eat this. It's a real make-a-wish here tonight. It's very exciting. Very exciting. This is Ian's first apprentice to his head. Goat. Yeah. Yeah. What about it? How are you feeling? I feel all right. How's your, how's your foot feel? How is it still going? Well, you know, it's a lot about diet. And it's a lot of red meat and shellfish. And so tonight I had a bunch of oysters and steaks. But I'm on, I'm on medicine. So I can, I can do it, you know. AZT. Prepp. No, I'm on Ali Perol. Cloresine steroids. But I, how long did it last for you? A half a day. What? You went out two. Two times. Jay had two gout attacks. Get out. Yeah, very, yeah. But I have more. Get gout. Jay has attacks. I have flare ups. But I don't know. I went, both times I went to a. You got the shot. I didn't know they gave me a steroid injection. My button. Three hours later. Jay, that wasn't a steroid injection. It wasn't. They fucked you directly in your ass. Oh, you think the injection would have been my cheeks. Yeah, you know what hindsight? That's true. Hinesight. Fuck yeah, butt joke. Hand jerking. We're crushing it today. All gay jokes. All June, folks. Well, all I can say is this. Ian, the cane completes the package. I like it. Thank you. I appreciate it. Nice. Years ago I was opening for Dave on the road. And we went to a rest stop in Alabama. And he bought me an eight ball cane. And he said he would only buy for me if I made everyone call me eight ball. And nobody called me eight ball. I wish I would have been in on that. I would have called you eight ball. I want to fucking joy, dude. You've had this cane for a while. Yeah, well, I hurt my back. Remember Skankfest? Oh, yeah. Houston, you're too young to have so many cane times in your life. I mean, recklessly. He's such a Jew. He's like, better not throw it away. I might need it again. Yeah. I eat recklessly. I got hit by a car before Skankfest, remember. It's a dick too much. Why don't you just get forever crutches? No. I'm not Walt White, Jr. Come on. I want to put you on like a roller skate, like a dog without, with broken back legs. With lots of things. Just like the handle. Oh, thanks so much. Thank you. What is that? Petsuit. Petsuit. Are you requesting? What are your interns going to get me stomach cancer? He's at an intern. He's a springtime Olympian. Don't get it twisted. Well, he's right by me. Is that for your oysters? Yeah, the medicine's giving me a bit stomach. No, I'm just practicing with something funny, huh? Yeah. Ian, this cane is the way to go. I'm sure you've used it to board early on a flight. Of course. Nice. Lewis, do you feel like you're just smelling seafood now that you said you had all this soft shellfish? Oh, no. Oh, I guess it'll be a weird. Yeah. No, I smell it. Yeah. No way. Yeah, really? I will say that if I'm not in, if I don't fly United, which I have like, you know, early boarding on. Yeah. I pretend to have an injury every time I get on a flight. Do you really? I swear, I swear on my son's life. I do that. I used to do that too. But I, uh, these are Trigger got mad at me once in an airport for that. I was like, oh, I go. I'm a zone seven so I'm going to go limp through secure or through the gate and she was like, that's really fucked up. I was like, it's fine. And I still stand by that that it's like, fucking, it's like every week, it gives a fuck, you know, nobody thinks they fly once in a while, you know, I mean, that's a, I fly every week and please God, don't make me get in the back of this lock sometimes I'll pretend I'm military. And so thank, thank me for my service. They make your supposed to make you show your ID for that. I know, I don't do that. I just pretend that I, because I can't ask you, legally, they're not allowed to ask you what's wrong with you. And you're not for my ID and Kuwait. They were like, uh, they're, they're like, it just falls out of necklace of ears. So if anybody needs assistance or has any medical issues, they, they call you up and then I just, I walk up like kind of sickly and slow and I limp. And then as soon as I turn the corner, I fucking just, yeah, guys are so sick. It's not me. I played the whole way down the thing down the ramp. Yeah, yeah, come out with it. And then yeah, absolutely. You got to play the whole way down. Then you can turn around when you do it. Nice twist into your seat. What's the best? Yeah, then I'm going to close my eyes. Doesn't matter what they think of me anymore. Also, I try to fart the entire time when I'm walking on a flight to give it. I don't do the first class. I do it in the, in the tube, because they think you're like, so they think it's like a smelly retarded guy. They call it. Yeah, that's how you get an empty seat next to you with that attitude. It's the bill. It's flashlights. How much did it hurt you to have to sit coach and walk right past me the other day? That didn't happen. Do you have to walk up past me? Yeah, yeah, huh? Dude, the fuck up, dude, we said we weren't talking about that on the podcast. That's fucking insane. It was so shitty. Oh, I tried to upgrade and everything. I tried to fall asleep before I even saw it. I mean, it wasn't happened. Yeah, I don't know. Did I see you? Yeah, you were upset. I remember. I told them. I said, I told the lady I'm going to go to sleep, send my snacks back to that shithead. Did you get chocolate covered cashews? You're not allowed to bring drinks back to other people, by the way. Huh? You're not allowed to drink bring drinks back to the world. No, what the fuck's going on? I've been first class. Don't let me do whatever I want. No, you can't. I've tried to do it before. I tried to give I flew first last one time and it made my girlfriend sick coach and I was like, I'm going to get her. We'll look because I got upgraded and I was like, I'm not going to just take it. Dude, no, I'm going to fucking sit back there. She's not going to last. In five months, I'm not even going to know her name. Fine. So I tried to bring her to do this first. I tried. I tried to. I tried to bring her a drink. Like I got one of them. I brought it back and they're like, yeah, you can't do that. I got in trouble. You're like, what are you going to do about it? Did you just go now? I said, no, I already gave it to her and then they were like, don't do that again. Okay. Yeah. What did you do if I do? Yeah, what are they going to do land the plane? Maybe I don't know. They do. That was a box. I would rule. They landed the plane because I can't stop throwing back drinks to first. LeCoach got to his broke bitch in the back. You're not allowed to bring your own little alcohol bottles on a flight to any of these rules. Yeah. But that's our Ari's been all over South America recently. Yeah. Give us some stories. Honestly. Yeah. Well, as soon as you land the plane before you get to your gate, every single person stands up and gets their bag out of the fucking overhead. Yeah. And then they go, we cannot move until you guys sit down. And then that's a big like we're going to ignore that. Do they have like food like on the on our airlines or is it just a woman with a making with a hot plate? Somebody comes by with a chicken on their hat. Yeah. They have food if you're willing to kill the chicken. Did I talk about this? This was this was actually a fucking crazy thing. This flight attendant, like she was at a river in Africa. She put the basket of snacks on her head. Oh, and then walk down. No, it wasn't cool. I don't know why it made me angry, but it did. I have an idea. You're right. I can't explain to you what exactly made me so. I know what it is. What does she have it up there for you? Trying to keep her hands loose so she could blow dark yet. I like that. It was crazy. And how did she or she be? Yeah, she would be like, oh, snack. She knew where it was. Yeah, she'd be like, uh, grandma's peanut butter. It wasn't, but it was so performative. It was like, you know, you're just doing that because it's fucking what's I think that's cool. No, it's not cool. A flight attendant needs to just do her fucking job. Yeah, the world of flight attendants is cut throat, Lewis, what do you mean? It's a cut throat world. It's a lot of tenure in that and all that stuff. That's why when you get on like long flights or good flights or first class and stuff like that, you see the old big fat ladies in there because they got 10 years. So they get the good. We see it like a fat cop. You're like, this guy's been doing this for a long time. You'll get the prettiest flight attendants on the short little commuter flights because they're brand new. That don't have to flight to fuck. Yeah, just little dumb sluts. Yeah, air sluts. I had an air slut dumped drinks on me by accident once completely all over my pants and she felt so bad. So she gave me her street clothes to wear for the cross country flight by my clothes trial. You wore a woman's clothes and a crosshirt to your flight. Yeah, she gave me her jean shorts and I like to do jean shorts. I've heard a whole bunch of jean shorts. Instead of just having your pants be wet for 10 minutes? 10 minutes, it was a whole tray of drinks all over me soaked and you wore her booty shorts. Mm-hmm. I didn't give them back. Was she a larger lady? No, she was not. Dave sighs. What? So a sturdy woman. Yeah, okay. I never take the snacks on the plane. Why? Because no one owns me. Yeah, I get it. I'm not your bitch. Yeah, so here's a little something you would never eat anywhere else. No, I don't want it. Yeah, I brought my own stuff. How about that? What do you bring? What do I bring? Yeah, you know, a cacophony of trusses. There was a woman recently who she brought like a bunch of sandwich stuff like loose meat and cheese and bread and she started making her whole family sandwiches. That would also make me curious. Yeah, it should make you angry. That's not okay. No, dude. I don't think Indians should even be on the flight. True. True. You can't fucking set up shop on the plane. Fucking crazy. Like deli packed lunch meat. Deli packed lunch meat for her whole family. How long was the flight? I don't know. I was making it. I was in on it. Oh, I thought you witnessed it. No, no, I saw it online. I saw it on the internet. Oh, so it's real. But if it was a bus, you would have been like, yeah, it makes a lot of noise. I'm not beheading anyone. Yeah. When's the last time you drove a bus? I've never driven a bus. Written one. Wait, I obviously never driven a bus. You rode a bus. Yeah. Oh, it's been a while. Oh, when I was so funny. So the most depressing when I was breaking up with my ex-wife and stuff like that. I just left the car there working that out. Yeah. I left the car there. I left the car with her with her. Yeah, I left the car. But I left the car. I left the car with her. Not sec. You just got bloody points for this. Thank you for laughing so hard at that. Appreciate that. Not sec. Good the man. Sorry, Jake. What was I saying? I left your car with Carla. He left the car. Oh, yeah. And so I when I got I stayed with staying in the city with friends for a little bit until I figured out what I was going to do. And I took the train from the East Village up to the comics or the train or the bus up second Avenue. And it took so long to get 60 blocks. And it was just a sad thing that's accepted everything or that's the only sad time I rode the bus. You started considering getting back with your wife. You're like, I got to get back with her. This is the saddest bus. Yeah. I don't want to I don't want to ride on a bus. Bus is fucking crazy. It was a sad thing for sure. Yeah, you stick the bus across town. I took it to fucking four days ago. The New York City bus. The M23. It goes right down 14th. You don't have to get off and back on. Why did you get on it? Because you're a strong black woman. It was right there. We're trying to get to your bank cleaning overnight job. If you don't get there in time, you can use your cell phone to get on it. Just swipe it. There's a phone now. Yeah. That is fun. That's a little more convenient. Did you sit down or did you stand the whole time? I sat down. I kind of rubbed my butt against everything. No, but it sat next to you, right? No, nobody sat next to me. That beard. That's the beauty of that beard. Dude, Caps wanted to get me now. Oh, really? Literally stare at me. Wow. Yeah, fucking. Nobody wants to be able to fucking fish her king. But I think yeah, the closer you are to the shore, the more it makes sense. He goes, this guy was naked seconds ago for sure. I mean, he's right. He can't wait to get naked again. And he's definitely hairy. Should you be cleaning a boat right now, sir? Yeah, that that beard will get you out of like, what you're going to do is act a little crazy. If you see a bunch of like, I was going to say black people, but I was like, don't say black people. Don't say black people. But if you see a bunch of black people, that you want to like be terrified of. Nailed it. Yeah, you just got to get up. Yes, act a little wacky. I could see you using the bathroom at Barnes and Noble all day long. You go in, you go back out, you come back out, you go back in. They put that blue light in there now, so you can't fight a vein. They said wall was did that completely, but that's a lie. I've never gone to a wall while where the bathroom has blue light. That's what it's for. So you can't find a heroin. Yeah, really? I feel like when you're into heroin, you could just do it. Fucking blind. That's a while. They don't do anything about the heroin, but they'll change the infrastructure of bathrooms. Well, why does it get me to heroin? Just don't do it there. Do heroin somewhere else. And then come grab yourself some tasty cakes. I feel like heroin, heroin's kind of like mushrooms, like you need the right setting and it's all set in setting for heroin. Yeah, I think wherever you're at, I want to be hanging out with cool people if I'm on heroin. But I probably, the best - That's setting, that's Tom Cusgra Park, right when I'm walking my dog. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, I was gonna say, I think wherever your app becomes the perfect setting when you take heroin. - Yeah, you're good friends around. What can be better? - If I was gonna do heroin, I would wanna do it with people that I really, really trust. - Not me, dude, just me, a dark room and acoustic guitar. (laughing) I'm coming out of there, I'm coming out of there with my smells like teen spirit. - I mean, are people writing music on heroin anymore? I feel like that's like an old thing, Jay. - Yeah, check out Rowling Chase. It's a bunch of books. - New heroin is not getting any creativity out of people. - You don't know that. - Now, there's some good art coming out of Kensington. - Dude, next week, hey, next week, heroin and we'll write songs. - Oh, dude, we should make the spring turns do different drugs, wheel of drugs, wheel of drugs, wheel of drugs, wheel of drugs, wheel of drugs, wheel of drugs, wheel of drugs. - Everybody takes a drug and then everyone tries to write a song. - You write the best song. - Wheel of drugs and then wheel of creativity. And then it's like, oh, heroin and then you have to write a script or do like a 12 to 15 year old Lego. - Look at Nutsack, giving out joints right now. Nutsack, you're the man. - Thank you. - You just tripped. - Hey, thanks for the fact today, C-A. - You can just trip over his own feed. - Louis, stop kissing up to the kiss ups. - All right, guys, let's take a quick moment and thank IndyCloud for supporting the show. We love IndyCloud, holy shit. Is this audience high on IndyCloud right now? - We're all fucked up. - Gummies, vapes, flour, they got fucking drinks. - Yeah, fucking the World Cups coming up and you're not an athlete. So you're just gonna sit around and watch it and pretend you care about a country when one of your relatives comes from. - Oh my God, they have a brand new cereal bite edible. Holy shit, it's perfect for a day on the couch. They really know the audience. - They do know the audience. Everybody, they have soda flavored gummies, zero calorie THC sodas, premium vapes, fat pre-rolls, high quality flour. And now these cereal bite edibles, it's perfect for this. - It's legal. - It's fucking legal. It's crazy. - It's shipped to your door, Jay. - Yeah, they all have federally legal THC and them everything sold is DEA certified and lab tested. - Oh, I want you to tell them what's going on if they're over 21, not fucking gay. - Well, if you're under 21, you can go suck an egg. - Yeah. - You're not wanted here. - Fuck off. Everybody here should've been carted on the way in. So you guys all get it. It's 21 and over. We don't, we don't fuck around on that. - No, no, but what about for IndyCloud, not just in the room? - Yeah, I'm saying, if they're listening here, you should listen to this. And if you're under 21, turn this off right now. - Get out of here. - This next part is not for you. Three, two, one. - Okay. - Now it's on your face. - Those fucking losers are gone. It's just us. (laughing) - It's young as fucking George. - And we're gonna get fucked up on IndyCloud. - Guys, what else you doing with your lives? - Something? - No. - I've been out there in New York. Nobody's doing shit. - Or how high on IndyCloud? Or you read the offer for the love of God. - It's forbidden. - Oh yeah, it's right there, verbatim. - I love tracking with you guys, I'll be honest with you. - I went off in my own little world. That's right. - That's thanks to IndyCloud. - It's bold letters, it says verbatim on it. (laughing) - verbatim, I see verbatim now. It's right above where I was reading verb before. I set you up, I filled you in nice. I go, dude, tell him what's going on if you're over 21. - Okay guys, I'm letting you know right now, verbatim. If you're 21 or older and a new customer, go to IndyCloud.com. - Dot CO, dude, it's not dot com. - It is dot com. - Do not go to IndyCloud.com. IndyCloud.co is a website, not dot com. And if you use the code skanks, what do you get, Ori? - 30% or 30%. - 30%. - First order. - Plus, plus more. That's IndyCloud.co.skanks per 30% of, shipped discreetly to your door. - They're gonna make us a show of it. - A lot of these prices. - Yo, hey, you're here, you. - Now, IndyCloud's not about that. - It's discreet. - Plus, you get free shipping on orders over $50 and free gifts on qualifying orders, which is pretty incredible. Once again, that's IndyCloud.co with code skanks for 30% off. Listen to me, I am hanging out right now with my two favorite Jewish friends and I'm gonna talk about our favorite sponsor for my Jewish friends, which is-- - Gold, G-O-P. - Yes, I knew it. - I know, the G-O-D is the best. - Oh, I love it. - I just woke up, what's going on with the gold. - You know, even over your biting coins in our sleep. - Oh, look, look, I'll tell you right now that they got chains, pendants, rings, earrings, watches. Real gold. - Yeah, what, I don't know what happened. - Every piece. - Oh my God. - You revived me. - More of this gold. - Handsets, stones, G-O-D pieces are high quality and an unbelievably good price, aren't it? - Oh! - Louis, you and your boy have been rocking your Cubans and just going out there and just tag team in bitches. - Dude, I look so cool when I wear my Cuban links. We have matching Cuban links. And I don't wear them in the hood 'cause they look that good, dude. These are affordable jewelry. You don't have to be a fucking hip-hop artist in order to wear some fun, cool, and jewelry. You could be a poor comedian as well. - You're a racist. - No, whether it's some classy gold or a collector's item from the DC Comics collab, your dad's gonna love it. - It's for your dad now. - Yeah. - My dad's dead. - Yeah, not for your dad particularly. He was, he died before the DC comic burst. - Oh my God, by the way, if he would have had GLD when he was stabbed, it would be taken. (laughs) - Probably. - Damn, GLD product comes with a lifetime warranty. Whoever you get it for. - Oh, my dad didn't have a lifetime warranty. - No, he sure is shit, dude. - I would have been the shortest warranty he did. - Listen, work hard, change the game. - Your dad didn't survive one fight. My dad thought I had a polycost. - No, my dad got factory reset in the streets. - No shit, he sure is shit, dude. Well listen, work hard and see if you can change history. Butterfly effect. Maybe if you get some gold, your father won't get killed. For a limited time, new customers are getting an insane deal. If you use the code skanks, you're gonna get holy shit. - Like 20, 20, 30. - No, we saw it 30 before, which got me kind of wild. - Stop it, buddy. - Hold his arms in the range of less than a third. - Hold his arms, so it's so much more work. - No, it's 30% is great. - It's 40% of what I'm talking about. (laughs) - It's holding it. It's hard. - Hurry, Lewis get to the end. - It's 40%, use the code skanks for 40% of a GLD.com. - I'm barely gripping them. - All right, where were we? - Doggy, look, I really like this print kernel in begins. I'm excited about today's festivities. We're really good to go. - Look, I tell you, before we do that though, there's one other girl who shows up all the time. - What's your name again, darling? I always forget it. Even though you brought me, Pamela, you brought me food and I follow you on Instagram. - You filled the food out though, right? - I know, I ate the food. The food was delicious. I ate your mind. - Pamela threw it at me one time and I genuinely considered it but then I was like, that was gonna be the end of my life. - Yeah, yeah, for sure. - Yeah, Pamela's a straight up lunatic. - No, she finds out where you live, it's over. - What, she wants to join? - She wants to join the Spring Turn Olympics. - Why didn't she know about it? - Yeah, why don't you let her join? - Yeah, Pamela, come here for a second. You can come over here, guys. - Can you bring an ass tray, Pamela? (audience applauds) - Pamela, if you want this, you'll let Ian ashen to your mouth. - Hi. - Oh my God. - I know you're a cracker face man. - Are you dressed as Josie Marcellino for Halloween? (audience laughs) - Oh my God. - Hi, Pamela. - Did you say nicks? Are you bringing a nondescript basketball player hat? It's a nicks. - Yeah, there's something nicks at all. You're just wearing orange. - Oh, do you WMH still happening? - So Pamela, let me ask you a question. Why do you think that we should include you in this year's Spring Turn Olympics? - Because I love this show and I'm gonna bring all the fun and all the booty to all the madness. - Mmm. (audience applauds) - I would have also accepted Fat Busy as answer. Just the words Fat Busy. (laughs) Why would you be gonna let me in? Fat Busy? - Yeah. - I wouldn't have accepted that. - Exactly. - I feel like she can't just come in after we've had. - She's got to make up for it. - You got to make up for it. - No. - First of all, you love the show. - I'm different. - I mean, the way she just looked at me, she was like, "I'll suck all of your cocks right now." Well, by the way, I thought your cock was gonna be bigger when I saw it at the best. - Orange? - Oh. - Wow. - That was such a letdown. - Oh. - Get out of here. - Hold on, you can always cock as a letdown. - Get out of here, you son of a bitch. - Who was a letdown? - You are crazy. - You're the first one to rule. - Here you are with a small cock. Show yourself out, you pig. (laughs) - No. - This. I'm gonna forget about this. I'm making a phone call. You're on comments unleashed. That's right. - Yeah. (laughs) - Let's do it. - He was like, "Is he gonna go?" So I'm saying you got a fat pussy? - So. - So I'm Dominican. - That was my, that was my bar and air transition. Or so I'm Pamela. I understand you got a fat pussy. - What a story from Nike sales associate to the store at 'em, right? - It is amazing. It is amazing. - So wait, why won't you let her join? - Well because we already eliminated four people. - We can air it down through it. - I think that's an ashrer. I'm pretty sure that's a candle. - That's a candle, man, sec. - I think you guys should let her in on June 10th. - Let me in, let me in, knock knock, let me in. Please, knock knock. - Both thumbs, yes. - Open the door, open the door. - It's not to lose. Lewis is the Pamela. - Pamela, one of the owners of the company. - First of all. - Yes. - Face. - Face. - Have you ever torqued a crippled? (laughs) - All the time. - Look at that. How does that gout feel now? - Exactly. I do a disability comedy show, so I'm all about the cripples. - Pamela, have you ever been taking to a hospital when you didn't wanna go? (audience laughs) - Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo. - I'm old and old. (audience laughs) - Pamela's got down in her face. (audience laughs) - Oh, we love it, Pamela. Can you be the soundboard for the show? - Damn, damn. (singing) (laughing) - What a fucking retarded this lady was. (laughing) I say her's an outside shot that her pubes are patching 'cause she pulls some out. (laughing) - I keep a Caesar fade, I keep a Caesar fade. - That's called a Harlem fade. She gets some trimmed every Friday. That's my favorite salad. - All right, so Pamela, here's, let me give you a piece of advice so far. I'm kind of leaning toward letting you do something, I'm gonna make yourself in. Hold on, look at the other interns are not happy right now. They're pissed right now, they're shaking their head now. I'm against it. (laughing) I'm against it. La retarda? (laughing) Is that fucking smolting? - Yeah. (laughing) - Here's like Pamela. - See, a lot of our audience, they hate the sound when women speak. And I feel like you're doing a lot of talking already. - Can we call her Domolina? - Whoa. - Domolina. - So just so you know, everyone at home right now is furious right now. They're angry, 'cause whatever you're doing right now, they hate it. (laughing) - I know the audience, I have my finger on the pulse of what our audience likes. Our audience hates everything about you so far. - There's it. - Domolina, Domolina, what would you prefer? - Domolina, what would you prefer? - That's so funny. - She can duck with your quills. (laughing) - So I mean look, here's the, to let her in this late, and it's kind of unfair to the other guys over there. - Why did she do the, what we have planned today, and we'll decide later if it even counts? - Okay. - Okay, I understand that's a good-- - That's fair. (clapping) - So all right, so how about this? We'll do this. All right, first of all, if we say face, you have to get on the floor on your face. It's like nose to the floor, yeah, laying your belly. - Like right now. - Face. - Like right now. - Like this? - Jesus. - Wow. - Yes. (clapping) - And she's pumping the floor too. - Oh my God. - She is duck. - Is this a traffic stop? What's going on here? (laughing) - - I like her, guys. - Is that good? - She's like that. - Who is she? - Fire her, don't you're going to fuck her. (laughing) - Everyone knows it. We've all seen it coming. David tells board with the idea. - I love the whole idea. - She's less of an intern, more of a mascot. - No. (laughing) - So here's what we're doing today. We're having the Spring Turn Olympians show us their talent in a segment called Skanks Got Talent. - Oh, that's great. (singing in foreign language) (laughing) (laughing) (laughing) (laughing) (music playing) (cheering) (music playing) (music playing) (cheering) (music playing) - So double A night. We had all the other Spring Turn Olympians prepare a talent. But you didn't know this was happening. - So we're going to give you an opportunity here. But right now we're putting you on the spot. You have to show us your talent. Feel free to include your fat pussy. (laughing) - Also just so you know, just so you know, Allant is also spelled ITS. - I'm going to breastfeed my cracker face baby. - Okay. - Nice. - Awesome. - Nope. - Cracker face baby. Right there. - Oh, look at that. - Yeah. - Let's see. She's gonna breastfeed him. Wait, hold on. - I can see an apple. (laughing) - We can see an apple. - What? - Kind of. - She's gonna get that. - I feel like we're on the sixth train right now. (laughing) - This is insane. - You gotta be honest. Who's better than a guy doing back flips holding on to the bars though. - Oh, what the fuck is happening? - Is your titty out? - No, her titty is not out. It is now. Oh yeah, that's right. Hold on. Wait, you have to ask her first already. This is the shock collar. (laughing) No, no, it's not shocking. - Wait, wait, wait. - Stop, stop your talent for a second. - Yes, stop your talent. It's real. It's an actual shock collar, yes. (laughing) We have to know that you're okay with it. - We have to know that you're okay with it. - You have open heart surgery? - I did it. I had a heart surgery. - She can't do that. - That's why. Every day's a gift. That's why she wants to suck at me with dick. (laughing) - Now, time for the left side. - Wow. - Now, this is, this is the town where she's no shock collar. - There's no shock collar on her. But she's showing her nipples. You guys aren't showing any fucking nipples over there. I'm gonna be honest with you. - You put her there. - They are, they are, they are. - I like how she went from the right nipple to the left nipple. - Should we do plugs? And then get into Skanks' Got Talent. - Sure, please. - Why not? - We can do it. - I know we're gonna ride this out for the rest of the fucking show. Let's do some plugs real quick. Before we jump into this, Pamela, you're wasting your nips. - Pamela. - We have to get that shock collar on you. You gotta sign your release. - Pam. - David Tell, what do you wanna plug, my man? - Well, I'll be in big as I wise, guys. And about two weeks. And then, I guess the big show for me is with the amazing Jeff Ross bumping mics at the Stand West. Yeah, the Stand West. - That's incredible. - Next Friday, 11 p.m. So yeah, go online. You can check it out. It's gonna be fun. - Hell yeah. - You have finance. - Hi everybody. You have finance.com for all my tickets. - They have it up here. They'll have it up here for you. - Oh. They'll have it up there. - Oh, there we go. I'm at a hilarious this weekend. June 5th and 6th. And then I'm in Detroit. And then I'm in Syracuse, New York. Appleton, Wisconsin. - Whoa. - Creamville, South Carolina. All over. JFL Montreal, July 15th to 22nd. Ian, do an odd guy doing odd jobs. - Hey, thanks. - Montreal, but. - Ian, do an odd guy doing odd jobs. Every other Tuesday on youtube.com/eamfinancecomedy with YMH Network. I animal six on on Instagram. And Bini and my Jordan is the podcast. - I love it. - Thank you, fellas. Thank you. Appreciate it. An uninterrupted minute of plugs from BigJay. - BigJaycomedy.com for all my dates. Greatest gap for a live tour happening right now. Spokane, Washington. - Oh. - This fucking weekend. Ben DeMarcus is gonna be there with me. He's a very fun guy to hang with. Then I'm doing some theaters. Everyone, June 12th and 13th. I'm gonna be at the Pantages Theater on the 12th. In Minneapolis. - Wow. - Let's fucking do this. And then the Egyptian Theater in Boise, Idaho. - Nice. - The next day. - Let's call the pyramid, Jay. - Oh, so I'm sorry. Buffalo, New York. Harrisburg. - Wow. - Comedy zone for the first time. Great outdoors fest and Winnipeg. - Oh. - Richmond Funnybone. I'm all over the place. Look for a CD to you in the Grace the Apple Live tour. Of course. Listen to the bonfire. Five days a week. Faction talk. Series XM103 with me and the great Robert Kelly. Of course. Listen to story wars right here on the guest digital network. And if you have time and you haven't yet, check out the Kevin, the Roast of Kevin Hart on Netflix. - Hell yeah. - He is us. - He is us. - He is us. - He is us. - He is us. - He is us. - He is us. - I think that means we're all nonsense. - No. That don't listen to Dio Hewley. We're not. - You're going. - He knows the Dio Hewley. - Oh Lewis. - Come see me out. Lewis of skanks.com. The rattling me this tour. This weekend I will be on Friday. I will be in Springfield, Missouri Saturday. It's also Oklahoma. Sunday. Oklahoma City. Very excited about that. Then I'm in Rosemond, Illinois, Chicago. La Jolla. And more. Go to my website. Lewis of skanks.com. We're adding a second story. We sold that story. Wars it. We'll dig inside in minutes. How long until you realize that it's not that La Jolla is La Jolla? Did you never have that? Wait, what? Did you never think that? - You thought it was La Jolla? - I've heard La Jolla. But when I saw that, I thought it was La Jolla. - I thought it was La Jolla. - A decade? - Yeah, me too. You fucking jerk off. Dude, you're such a stupid asshole. Finish your plugs. (laughter) - Go to my website. It's out of my mailing list. Get my bonus podcast, my newsletter, all the other pods that I do, story wars, the regs, real ass podcasts. And buy tickets for skankfest.com. - Yeah. - I'll be there. (applause) - It's going to be the best skankfest we've ever done. The 10th one. Go to skankfest.com. Get those tickets before they sell out. It's going to be quite the doozy. - Skankfest X, dude. - Lots of hints. - Yeah. - Simple. - All right. - All right, what do you want to plug? - I'd like to plug that I'll be at skankfest, everybody. - Yeah. (applause) - That's right. Skankfest X. - No way. - He tried to get us not to announce him. You're part of the Legion of Skank. - All right. - You have to be there. - Of course. Yeah, you're the fucking. We can't have the Legion of Skank's not there. - Absolutely. And I apologize for that. I'm there now. Both Friday and Saturday. And the pre-party on Thursday. Get tickets now. - I don't think this should be any left. - Does she have any dates? She'd like to plug, maybe. - What do you want? - Are you? - Yeah. - Are you gonna be a person? - You could plug his finger. - No, I think so. - You think to be bigger in that call. - Is there an order of protection? We should know about that. - She said she just wants to plug your dick being bigger. Could be. (laughter) - Woo! - Such a letdown. Skankfest. - Holy shit. - All your business. (laughter) - All right. I'm trying to convince already stay for the finale night. - Thank God. - Thursday, Friday, Saturday. - Dude, what's your part? - Sunday. - What can I get a leave? - What are you going? - Come on, now. - I'll do it. - Dude, don't turn it up, keep working. - Don't turn it up, keep working. Don't turn it up, keep working. (laughter) - And my TV show, The Edge. It's up in Elbow right now, everybody. - Yeah. (audience cheering) - Seven stories from the best comics in the country. - No, seven episodes of stories. - The last episode is the best, so build up to it. - Big J's on the last episode, one of the seven. - Play him in any order, everybody. They're all available at rshbr.com and I got a side project called "You Be Trippin" - But if you're gonna buy one of 'em by episode six, that's my episode, that's all you really need to get. - Everyone's so busy. - No, no, that's canceled. - Oh, I gotta take that off. - All right. - Very good. - All right, Pamela, what's up with your fat pussy now? - Yeah, let me go warm it up some more. - Oh, yeah, why's that? - Okay. - Yeah. (laughs) - I mean, I feel like we're gonna be honest with her. Her talent's stunk. - She sucks, dude. - She's a psycho. - Yeah, but you put her on the spot, though. - Lou is just higher as your assistant or house cleaner already. - Of course, I'm not thin. Of course, I love to clean houses. - Oh. - You like to cook, too? - Of course. - That's why I brought you some food. He's been my wife. That's really what I mean as a wife. - You definitely love caring for children. - Yeah. - Do you have any children? - Just crack her face baby. - What would you do for us as an intern? Ooh, what if she, what if she allowed us to impregnate her over and over again? - That's a bad experience. - No, no, baby, what's telepathy. - Oh, would you be a breeder? - Oh, be a breeder. - No, no, no, no, no, no. - No, no, no, no, no. - You're a reader. - Post-apocalyptic is for. - Listen, hypothetical, post-apocalyptic skanks. You become a reader for us. - We need somebody to breathe. - I mean, I want to be Elon Musk 17th baby mama. I mean, it's about time he has a black name. - Oh, dude, so excited to be Elon Musk. How about you, a big J-Operant? - A big J-Operant. - How about me? - We can name it, fuck. - We can name it, fuck, we can name it, fuck, and meet New York or whatever the fucking name is. I'm saying, what J-O? - Big J has a Musk. - We'll pay the nails. - We'll pay his toenails, too. - Pam, I don't think you wouldn't fucking get the biz for me. - Look, I wanted to, I was rooting for Pamela to be here, but I gotta be honest with you. She's gonna annoy everybody and her talent sucked. - What? - Is Gono or already has? - No, listen, she had no time to think. So she just jumped in. We should put her at the end and give her time to think of a talent. - Yeah, I'm nervous, it's some shit. - Intern, what do you guys think? - I'm shaking. - They're all shaking their head up. - Let me in, let me in. - Let me in. - These babies are not confident in their talents. If you're confident in your talent, you shouldn't worry about this. She's gonna be a fly by night. She's gonna be fly by night. - Hey, I know a talent. Shut the fuck up. (laughing) - Let me in, let me in. - Can you ever shoot? - You already failed to shut the fuck up, darling. You last just two seconds, lady. - Sure, she's right now operating in a two out of five. - For sure. - Oh, shh. - Just say, here's the game. Shut the fuck up. - Okay. - It's still two. - No, that wasn't even one second. - But I think she should get a chance to think of her, even when we put in the middle, if we put in the middle even. - Jay, you're so horny for Pamela. Holy shit, it's obvious. - I'm not trying to throw a damn pamela. - No, no, no. - She's down to brain. Here's Jay. - Yes, I am. - Listen, my question would be, do you know how to do nails? - Yes. - Let me see, your nails are shitty, though, Pamela. - 'Cause I have fun now for that. - Fuck out, shh. (laughing) - You gave her an easy question. - Oh, you clean houses? - No, I don't. - Fuck. (laughing) - That would have interesting. - You're a stand-up comic? - Yeah, I'm a stand-up comic. I was twerking. - Let me see your armpits. - Oh, I got all the good comments. - I like armpits. - Her armpits are good. - You like hairy armpits? - Not hairy armpits. I like armpits. - Why do you have this thing? - As I've gotten older, I like armpits. - What? - I like armpits. (laughing) - I like smell it. - I get the idea. - I like them lick them. - I get the unabashed, say it, double down, and say it hard, and everyone's gonna understand. - No, I mean it. - No, I know, but it's still weird. - Oh. - No, smell it. - No, smell it on natural. - Smells like elote. - Does it smell like a river? (laughing) Does it smell like a river? (laughing) - It smells like the Hudson River. - Yeah. - Man. - Do you want to smell something else? - Pamela, where are you? - What do you want me to smell? Holy shit. Pamela, not only is she retarded, she's a whore. Guys, we need to put it in the context. - Pamela, let me smell your asshole. - We're real quick, for a second. - Right there, there you go. - No, I want to smell your stupid fucking gap dress. (laughing) - All right, it's a very comfortable. - Pamela, we're gonna consider letting you in. - Thank you for telling us. - Time for me to down. - Go think of a talent over there with the, in the bullpen. - Okay, I'm gonna armpit one more time. - One more time. - Jesus Christ. - Oh, was that, was that culture room? (laughing) - Louis, your son's up for a major role in less than story. - Dude, I'll tell you right now, my nose touched your armpit. It was a little sweaty. I liked it. - Yeah. - I didn't mind it. - You are hitting a funny time. It's wise to have, I don't remember anything of my daughter's friends watching our shit. It was my daughter's teachers. When I'd go to meet the teachers, they'd be like, "Hey, I love your blah, blah, blah." And you're like, "Oh, fuck, they've seen some fucking shit." - I don't know, one of this, I was picking my son up from school the other day. And the teacher pulled the red at the corner. They were like, "Oh, who was she going with?" And I was like, "What, huh?" - But my daughter, my daughter's only thing, I knew she was gonna do good in the class that she did. I forget what weird class it was. But like, she had a legion of skanks sticker on her laptop, and the teacher was like, "He gave her like a fucking fight club like a rice." (laughing) Like, "You're gonna be just fine, we got you, girl." I forget what the class was, but I don't think she did any work. - It was Naziism 101. (laughing) - That was a weird class for a long island school. - Yeah. All right, so let's get some of these guys up here. Now, here's the deal. Not only is it a talent show, not only the skanks got talent, but we have our shot collars. - We haven't told this yet. - Have we not told them that we're just news to that? - So this is them, we're doing a shot, not only do you have to do your talent, but we're shot collaring you at any given time. - Yeah. - Is that tart black cherry juice because you're trying to give it to your gal, you're creeping weirdo? - Yes, yes. - It's not eating meat. - Orking meat. - Go to fucking, go to urgent care and get a shot. - No, I'm worried about an infection. - You love that cane, stop lying. - You have an infection. - Like you love walking with a cane. - My new stage name is Mrs. Galtfire. (audience laughing) - I love it. - I know you hate being Ms. Genders, so that works out. - I love it. - Show a look. - This thing, you guys, if you're coming up here, you have to consent on camera that we're allowed to shot collare you. I'm letting you know the shot collars. - Oh, if you suck, by the way. - Shot collars sucks. By the way. - I love how you're like, you don't take consent on camera to getting shot collared then you just bring up some horn. You're like, show your tits. - You're nipples out. - You fucking scum. - We have, we have, we have, we have, we have, we have, we have, we have waivers. - Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold it. You guys get 30 seconds at least to think about it. But the first one up there will get extra points in our eyes. - And let me say this. Jay said, if we don't like your talent, we'll shot collare you. I'm a promising man. If I like it, I might shot collare you. - Oh wow. - Okay. - I'm only shocking you on negatives. - Yeah, I'm always shocking if I think it's really a bad talent. - Who holds the shock? - Who wants to go first? - Oh, how about you waitin' face? - What did he do wrong? - Wait till we call him up. He don't think it's a joke. - Oh, that was great. He fucking stagos. Shot collare me. Fuck around. - Did he let him up? - Let him up. - I don't like that. - What face? - Yeah. - You don't like face? - Face is mean. - Face is mean. - Who is? - Stop being a tyrant. He said he'd do the thing. - This is like, he did exactly what you asked of him. - You guys have the feel of like an iced attention camp right now. I do, I feel like we're, I feel like we're right or wrong. - I feel like we're punishing every, venus, every, - Dude, this is a Stanford Skanks experiment. This is crazy. - Yeah. - Yeah. - We should, we should, we should, I'm sorry. - I can't wait for the Natt and Turner of the interns. - By the way, if somebody doesn't get shot collared, we should get in the power to shot collared the other people. - Oh, that's even better. Love Island, they don't do that. - They don't do that. - Wait till we only have one shot. - He's an F boy, I understand. - We have one shot and two shot collars. - We're all so good coming handy. - Well, we have one shot. - It's only one talent at a time. And you, so who's in charge of the shocker? - I, we gotta leave it to Dave. - May. - All right, so here's Strap Power. - Yeah, we only have one shocker. - Oh my God. - Do we have a crank up to 11 and rip the knob off? - No, we gotta be safe. - Hold on, it goes up to 100 and we have to. - Lewis. - Let's make sure it's on camera. - Yeah, do it in 95. - Yeah, sure. No, it's that, it's that. - Don't come back though, right? - It's at 19. - Oh, Christ, well Ian's gonna be going for a month. - Yeah. - Ian, where are you going? He's catching it. - Oh boy. - He's catching it. - Why don't you chime him in and get off my yard? - Oh, folksy go ahead. - Well, the fuck is that? - That hot girl that Ian's kissing. - What the fuck? - You just got off camera to fucking go kiss a hot chick? - Well, Ian kissed her, so that's definitely a guy. - You know, he's HIV positive. - He took preppy totus early. - We're having sex with men. - It's nice to find this at your face. - How do I turn it up from 19? It's gonna be higher than 19. - I don't know, start lower. - I don't remember how bad 19 is. - All right, do you touch your neck for a second? - Does it only go to 20? - Oh, this is good. - Do it. - I can't wait for that beard to catch fire. That'll be great. (audience laughing) - That's like ghost rider captain. - Wait, put it on his arm. - This guy's dead inside. I mean, look at him. - Does he look like a picture of Edgar Allan Poe? - He does, yeah. - A young Poe. - Well, it's what we call him Poe. - He looks like a picture of Edgar Allan Poe. - He does, yeah. - Have you seen a picture of him, yeah. - All right, so put it on his neck. - I'm gonna give him a second way. - He's like a Harley Quinn ghost. - He does. - Put it on where his vampire bites already exist. (audience laughing) - Remember when you were turned in 1912? - And or you have to make it tighter. - I know, I got the first time in Colorado, bitch. (audience laughing) - I believe you. - You feel that? - I believe you because I wanna believe you. Josh, is that lady next to you? dude. No, she's fucking hot. He just walked over to her and he limped over to her. Josh, not check through. I've consent. No, probably no. Yeah. Can I take one of these home for my puppy? Yeah. My don't know. She's a fucking monster. And then I'm gonna throw her in the pool and then chuck her. My beautiful puppy. My puppy never poops inside. No, my puppy hasn't pooped in. Oh, your puppy's also two years older than mine. She's four and she's great. Four years older than mine. Yeah. Your puppy's not better than mine. Piece of shit. She's such a sweetie. But Lewis, Jay, you love my dog. Your puppy rule. You love my dog. Of course. I love my dog too though. Yeah. You guys should get cats. Mike, one day. There we go, Ori. Ori's taking way too long to figure out how to tighten the shock. Ian, what's up? While we're killing time, when you leave your cats just find in the house. My cousin, Sherry watches. Comes in and watches. Yeah. All right. So Poe. Yes, sir. Very nice to have you back. Thank you, sir. You're one of the, on the Reddit page, they did a poll. You're in first place right now. No way. Thank you. That's very nice. Thank you. Yeah, I appreciate it. You're in first place to be raped and docks. Oh, it's our Reddit. It's the Legion of Sanctuary. I am a gay vampire. Yeah. You'll be fine, dude. No one's gonna fucking storm that castle. How about a little backstory before we get into the challenge? Yeah. Who are you? What are you about, Paul? Yeah. Poe. Oh, Paul. What's is he? Well, Poe at Garallon. Yeah. He tricked the man into drinking whiskey inside of the way you from son, the brix up where you from, then the raven, the raven flew. When they call you Poe because you look like Edgar Allan. Yeah. Whatever got here, picture. Have you ever just stop kissing your male friend over there and pay attention to what we're saying? It's hotter than any. Yeah, dude. You just stop kissing guys. You fuck it back. Yeah. Damn. Sorry, sir. Come on, dude. Is that not Poe? Come on. Dave. Look. Come on. Come on. Yeah. It's throughout the mustache, dude. If he could make that little bow tie thingy, he should win right now. He's not wrong. Young Poe. I actually am a spinning image of the young man. I grew up in Poe. It's actually weird. Can you not tell him? Can you imagine that? Say, you know, he's right. He's right. He's absolutely right. He's picking up an old version. Holy shit. Thank you. Thank you. Holy shit. All right, Poe. I take back the shocker. Oh, I can't take it back. I could just shock you again. I try to take it back. I mean, come the fuck on, dude. He's young Poe. That's it. That's it. When it rains a pose. Hold on. He just said a terrible joke. So bad. Lewis, you kind of liked it. You could go at him. I loved it, but he's good to shock Poe. Or if you just press that button, it shocks him. Release the crows. So what is going to be your talent, Poe? I am going to use my production skills to create a live photo moment because it's very important to create those unforgettable moments with comedy and sell tickets and to create a moment where people want to join Skankfest to watch Legion of Skanks and do something that makes them want to fight against it. We hate it. Everyone hates it. Dude, we wanted to see your fat pussy. Yeah, dude, I don't see your nipples. So hold on. You're going to take a nice picture of us. You're talented. It's more of directing, Jay. It's a creating, you know, unforgettable moments where I control the audience. I am your, I'm your vessel, dude, whatever you need me to do, I'll do. When you do that to me, he does the weekend at Bernie's. Remember, we're going to burn his two, when he was listening to Jamaican music, he's walking around like this. One second, my heart is, excuse me, we're going to burn his two. Do you have a heart condition? No, I really, Pamela actually has a heart condition. We're going to kill Pamela. You're in Pamela. No, no, no, dude, she's going to fucking know you're wrong. She has a beef heart. That's why she has a scar. Hold on, Dave's taking wippets. Dave has to do a wippet. Dave's so psyched for Pride Months. So what's his backstory? No one ever talked about it. Well, he's a poet from the 18th century. I asked him to tell me more, but he said never more. That's what his lady says. Have you been to Paul to more than you? So Paul, you're going to take a picture of us and then you're going to send the picture to them and we can see your work. Exactly. All right, we better take a few pictures because we're going to be shocked in the fuck out of you the entire time. These pictures better reflect shock. Let's see, this is crazy. This is a terrible talent. We all thought there was going to be somebody singing. Yeah. All right. You got to tell me something. If somebody doesn't sing, I'm going to be so sad. You got to get a microphone though, bro. Stop shouting. Everyone in the room just to quickly make an incredible pose because we're going, thank you. We're going to be, you know, trying to capture a moment where you want to be part of the Legion of Spain. It's actual worth of the show. Thank you. I mean, this is, you know, why we're here is to sell content, sell tickets, keep Legion of Skanks and gas, gas, gas digital gold. I like the language that is using right now. We are here to sell. Yeah, it's, we want you to buy our items. Exactly about creating. No, it's just about selling. Guys, no fucking rules. Polk gets it. Oh, we have to actually, we're just like talking. Yeah. Well, look at that. I like it. Polk gets on his knees. I look over it. All right. I'm talking to him. Now you send it over there. Shock the fuck out of him while he's just going to pay. I'm doing great. Yeah, we don't need to talk for that more. Now I'm going to send it over to D. Mike. Why, I mean, that's a why, first of all, even having that camera. You're using Wi-Fi as one of your talents. It's just so slow for that to show them. Now I'm going to take it from this device and spread it to that device. Oh, really? I mean, it's slammer. It's not sec camera. It better be awesome. Hey, I'm like, can you get one of your cousins to push them in front of a train? Man, I'm so bummed about blowing up a balloon also. Dude, you got 10 seconds to get to D. Mike. All right, swear to God. Yeah, yeah. Oh, shit. The one I find here sucks. Nine, seven, oh, the station five, four, three, two, one. You might do you have it? Zavom, all right, hold your finger on that button. No, no, no, you're going to hurt the boy. Zavom, you're going to hurt the child. Zavom, he's already so pale. It's a real pitch and a pinch. Zavom, look what you've done to his hair. Zavom, Zavom, Zavom, Zavom, Zavom, Zavom, Zavom. Stop, you're going to fry what little brain is left. Zavom, Zavom, you're better than Zavom. You're a human with feelings. You're better than Zavom. What is this? Zavom, what if you bring him back to life? Zavom, Zavom, his talent is sending emails. Zavom, Zavom, Zavom, Zavom, do you know what I'm saying? In my hip between everyone, I go, do the little, do the little, do the little, do Zavom, do the little, do the little, do Zavom. Zavom, it's time. Zavom, wow, you're really creating quite a, Zavom, where is it? This is more, this falls on the reception out here. This falls, this falls on the Italians and their shitty Wi-Fi. Zavom, Zavom, get it there. Zavom, what's your, what's your, Zavom? is everybody doing do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do - I brought Narcan. - Now it's over, now it's over. - Tap him. - Come on. - I said tap him. - Oh, this poor kid. - I didn't get this Narcan for nothing. - You left Baltimore for this. - Who's got Narcan? - Who's got Narcan? - He's got Narcan. - Wait, what? You got a Narcan? - Yeah, we're gonna Narcan him, you little bitch. - Oh, this is insane. - Dave, don't freak out. This is the second time we do the Narcan in two weeks. - Oh shit. - It's okay to do if you're not OD-ing. We check. - Wait, wait, wait, wait. We just shock the shit out of 'em. - This is recreational Narcan, okay. (laughing) - Yeah, this is right here. This is just to fucking get normal so you can do a work day. There it is One guy sleeping that's me I'm dead You emailed a picture that's a shitty as photo I've ever seen Nor can yourself now You took a picture Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, this is not what wait, wait, what is this good is it I we looked it up. It's fine Where'd you look it up? No, one Google one Google search. Yeah Look at Ian trying to be all fucking chivalrous and sweet because he's got a hot man in the audience. No, you're a piece of shit I take your time. I just he was born a man. He's a little man, sir. You have great tits Can I all right fucking guy is hot as shit. Holy shit that guy And if I was gonna fucking I fuck that guy too, you get balls deep in that balls damn dude Now are you North heading all right zap them all your cans. No way All right, give it up for Poe that was I mean I don't know if it's true I don't know if it's how it works, but I think you can try heroin tonight now yeah, or fentanyl try fentanyl I think we we should do for the talent show is we should rate them one through five each and give them a collective score Okay, okay, I'll go first. Okay, I give him a 1.5. It was a terrible talent Poe. I liked you a lot But that was not only was it a terrible boring talent, but the picture came out like shit. Yeah I'll go second With Narcane himself, which we all know even though we looked it up once and Google said it was fine We know could send him into cardiac arrest for all we know the fact that he did it blindly. I'm gonna give him a fucking six Wow one at one to five Jay. What it's one to five. Oh, I'm gonna give him a 3.5 Three 0.5 Keep keep keeps the scores arey Yeah, I mean, I don't know what the talent was maybe was continue to show his fucking Important says an intern here His dedication definitely Narcane. Yeah, then he nailed it for what he showed was pretty bad I think that was a photo from today's show. I would fire him. I'd be like are we posting that now disinterest? Yeah, Lewis is Lewis is zombie eyes. He's looking right at camera. They just know what's happening And I'm fake talking a re and it looks like we are talking and not giving a fuck about the show One guy's taking a nap Alex is looking up at a Fucking and she's staring at a light nobody's laughing one guy smiling one guy looks confused one guy's taking that active nap And someone's giving the middle finger off camera behind arey. This is the worst last supper painting ever This fucking last supper sucks shit even if it was Taco Bell, which I love Um Oh, I will say I will say from the Center Ian Two point five because you nailed Ian that is who he is and that's who we will always be okay All right, it's fair. I think it's fair. Oh, what are you giving him? I'm giving him a 3.4 3.4 Dave, what do you say well? First off as the living incarnate of a girl in poem. Yes I was going to ask you this now. How did you feel while you were being zapped I Bet you did Nice all right. I'm giving you a four. How about that? Oh, he likes it He loves it Four for me and he went four out of five. It was the shittiest town ever. What is wrong with you guys? Dude, he's getting zapped the whole time They're all getting zapped. Jesus, great. You mean Pam's not gonna get zapped even with her fat boy Pam already is apt Pam is definitely zapped what I loved about him was his white privilege You went up there and say you know what? I'm just gonna mass through all this technology And it really shows up there. I mean that really picture Ladies and gentlemen, I know you caught me me glossed me, but One more time for His bad picture. He's a bad picture Good drink getting bad picture Great drink getting next up Ladies, I'm giving up for nutsack nutsack is back Nutsack in the house it's gonna be a hard act to follow am I right could be is this gonna go Is he going to make copies or Pretty cool he comes to joints every time. It's pretty sick. He doesn't touch it doesn't try to tempt them Yeah, it's very nice. So I'm sure he's gonna have to make it bigger because Poe has a tiny little bitch neck Look at this guy. Oh, it's a different one. All right, so I got to put it on call number two Get it on good Poe you're gonna crank it up to twenty five are you nervous? We're getting a few more. Are you nervous nutsack? I'm a little bit leaving. Are they bored? Are you bored? Oh, it's our employee never mind Oh, I'm sorry gay blind Mike do we bore you with our audio only medium? Can he feel the shock extra because he can't see how many rounds of this are there? So shot up. Why is it a nice air? I'm asking what you go from how many six today? Did how many do you eliminate? We have four we have four more. I've got four more after nutsack. What's your problem? What's your problem? You have a problem today. He said when he came in when I fucking came What's your problem? Make sure make sure you make sure you make sure you put a wet sponge on his head So he so he doesn't catch fire That's smart thinking actually. Sorry. That is getting ahead of things That is getting ahead of things Oh my god Lewis and you have to have a real apology to each other You're doing me me getting hot in the kitchen once in a while. We have to remind each other that we love each other Well, anyway nutsack. Yeah, that's not your joint smokes like shit Sorry, this is fucking leak everywhere. Yeah, I went out instantly It's all Scooby-snacks and both I gave you one little fucking niberoo You gave him is that bird? It's got the punishment Very bad person why he likes it So nuts Should we do a Stanford experiment and see if Ian if he gets the power does fucking go hard with it? You might can I take my part with Ian? Ian's gonna not shock a lot of pussy Once would say that with a taser in your hand pussy, can I tell you what I like about nutsack? What his goofy laugh? Super weirdo I like it weird fucking duty always brings his hot chick here every week. She's super cold Wish you're too good for him just so you know when he snaps it will surprise no one I should have been Jamaica. So she'll leave him for you. You've never been to Jamaica. Oh my god She'll put me in the luggage hopefully so all right, so nutsack. What is your talent that you're gonna show a show? Yeah, I'm gonna show you that I could party with the boys also do production stuff So I'm gonna take a bong hit hold in the bong hit grow out this cable. It's gonna on roll straight Yeah, talking to your microphone that I'm gonna wind it up talking to your bunk just now and then You thought that are yeah Yeah, so you're gonna you're gonna get high while you're high You're gonna show that you could do production work, which is honestly how all of our staff works. Yeah, that's not a bad I know the bad town. It's not a bad town. I was gonna make sure this works Yeah, you want it night James can be too nice to me or you can split up who gets it each person you get the look of the draw This none of this counted as Lewis's yeah, why don't you let me get out dude? Why don't you let the intern that one last time do it? No, no turn on us. No, they're gonna be too nice to each other. We want them to be I stand for experiment Do see if they get drunk with power? Yeah, but they don't that he's up here Do it. Hit it now, Joe, which one's absent the zapper button It's like an electric finger up his anus Giggles with delight All right, so nut sack this is it you got to take a long head. Can we get some music? Can we get some some like do a pong? He's gonna throw out the cable. They're gonna wrap it up I mean come on this is worth it. Yo nut sack. Do you know my favorite Scott Baeho movie? No sir zapped drunk with power here it comes all right We have a camera on him. You're get up on sage nuts. I get up on sage. Sage you guys can take cameras up for this finally fucking powers a job to do Like you bring on a stick Do it like you are not going to zap him while he's taking the bonk it Hold it in Here he goes Rapping it Loop I'm sapping loop loop. Oh, he's got a nod. Oh, it's good. Are do you think you better? That's to happen more That been a lot turn it off Wow Wow, how do you do a split? Oh my god. Oh my god. Alex. Alex your job. Your job is fucking a question Dude can you do that? Can you drop down and pop back up for which is your legs? Try That's a try to pop down a pop back at least try it. Wait. It's a different split and pop up Oh my god Buddy, yeah Now that's a fucking talent ladies and gentlemen First both take a picture of a real talent. Can I go first? Please can I go first, please? Please that's easily It's an eight easy. No, it's only a day. It's out of five. Oh four point five I want to be 10. I wish it was 10 so bad So bad I wish it was 10 number five. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go 4.5 You're so bad at fractions 4.5 That's almost perfect 4.5 from Jay. I was good at David. How what do you think Dave? Did he do it or no? Oh That was first of all the split at the end. What a surprise What a surprise. I'm still smelling it. Thank you Dave. How that's a solid five if you ask wow perfect score from David It's huge In fight. That's what do you think in here? I thought he's just rolling out a cord and then Wining it back up stupid town, but Can I defend myself? No, let me talk the split and then blowing it out through the cord He rolled back up and then the finger to everyone. I mean this kid's got it He was being zapped non-stop. He was being zapped non-stop and already cranked it up Yeah, we you were at 27. We only did both at 25. No, no already cranked like 30 song This kid wins it five out of five five out of five All right, it wasn't we have to go higher. Yeah, I feel you all right What do you think and listen? Honestly, there was no talent at all there was a lot of showmanship is dumb fucking a fucking hackax Fuck you just covered up no fucking talent with the fucking split. Wow fuck that guy Bro is sent me to the story of Pepsi, they see he said that's not part of the show listen He said here's 20 keep the change. It was 1999. I think you'd like that. Oh You owe him a dollar 17. How much was it? It was 1999 you give me a 20. You're like keep it I thought I thought you were gonna get a little thing and fucking You want to be okay for a while I won he give him a one Good final answer five five five wow five. What'd you get Murray? I'm gonna give him a one You can't do a split no, I can't he can yeah, and he did I saw it That's more talent than you have with the split. Oh fuck you Yeah, you'd like that wouldn't yeah, that's gonna be right now. Yo guys Seriously do that seriously guys there's only one way to celebrate gay pride and that's f sex with each other right now Why not if he's first take him you just go. Oh my god already she fears in me and then you really think he taught me so He'd be on top of me. I have no experience brother. I let him lead the way. I appreciate that. I thought that night's like talent was It was very relevant to what the contest is which I thought was added a little bit of creativity there He's good. Oh great. Look at that off terrible You've rolled wires better small core, but you were shocking the shit I just said yeah Don't talk back to Ari ever. I'm sorry Ari. I mean this is fucking bullshit No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, No Yeah, I'm gonna give you better than put poke out of 2.5. I'm gonna give you a 3.25 1 more time for one more time for nut sack This is illegal Thank you nut sack. Thank you. Great job nut sack everybody This is wild And do you want to hold on to it in hold on the end doesn't like this end is not like hurting people in 30 is hella 20 is pretty good and I don't turn it down. Come on In look at me down and then turn all right. No, he's gonna turn it down. Let him figure it out No, he's turning to no leave it at 25. That's fair for everybody You're not stop. Have a 25 8 done. Yeah, but also you can go way up 25 ends and then shit. Yeah Almost nut sack on nuts act 25 or most 27 at the end. We got him up to 34 Huh, all right little gentleman. Let's give it up for my personal favorite so far cerebral Paul cerebral Paul Does this guy have cerebral palsy It's such a good thing. How did you figure that out? cerebral palsy college Dude keep clapping. He's almost there Now he makes you feel like I'm the faker with the game. What the hell wow, Mr. Mr. my fucking yeah, my pussy my pissy toe hurts Hey, how are you sir so proud of you cerebral Paul. I'm already so proud of you. The way you held up last week was nothing short of inspirational What are you gonna do? You're gonna say a sentence in under three minutes. No, I'm gonna draw a portrait You're gonna try to drink out of its draw. Wait, wait, wait, wait, what? This guy was cerebral palsy. What are you gonna do you gonna juggle napkins? I'm gonna draw a portrait. You're gonna draw a portrait Yeah, you do a headstand accidentally So are you an artist? I draw as a hobby so you draw as a hobby. Yeah Okay, I like this is very good. So Ian you're gonna do the I'm not shock and a good shot I might already just I might help And you should probably take it from us because what I'm gonna do to this poor kid He wants it now He doesn't have nerve endings. He doesn't feel it. Oh, dude. He's got his notice but he has no idea what his body is on the wrong collar No side side side. That's crazy Yeah, who put that on Can you look up what the people with cerebral palsy are they more likely to die of shot collar? We will We will get a lot of clicks though if we kill a guy. I'll be pretty sick Hold on what are you gonna? What are you gonna draw for us? I was thinking a portrait, but of one of us Yeah, can you do it like you do Ian if he lays down there like like Titanic style like Rose You want me to draw like I want you to draw me naked. He's gonna like well Ian will you lie out there for him? No, you're naked How about a picture of your mom drinking while she was pregnant? How about that? Yeah, let's call payback. I think that's the one at that woman Oh Wait, hold on. I'm so much going on I'm perfect. You all right gay boy. I'm sorry. G mic just ask would you ask you Mike? He got epilepsy do you get epilepsy? Can you get epilepsy or do you have epilepsy? You have it and you spell it. What what's what stage cerebral palsy are you? It says there may be a sea here. No cerebral palsy. There's no stages to it. The fuck are you talking about? Well, you know nothing about cerebral palsy. Wow, are you face to face three? I don't know if it was like the like the good kind of cerebral palsy like It's not the back It's not as bad as Jerry from fax life, but like so can we get some others? Can we get some drawing music for some of a haul? Preferably the same music as the wheat smoke music Here he is. Ladies and gentlemen cerebral pals drawing a portrait who drew a portrait of Draw Ian - Aww. - Oh, look, he's doing the thing where you draw the circle and the lines. Oh, this is great, dude. - I don't want to shock him. Why don't I just put cigarettes out on his arm? (laughing) If you're, you're gonna be great at drawing. - It is more you mean. - I feel like if somebody to serve a Paul Z, they're always probably pretty good at drawing. - If I fail, I found the best podcast in the world. - Yeah! (cheering) - Dude, that deserves his act. - That's his spirit. - That's so sacred. Paul's like, did someone say spirit, too? - Man, this is fun. - I know, right? (laughing) Who knew? - We thought it was gonna be fun. - I thought it was gonna be dancing, singing. I thought he was gonna be like, yeah. Tactical production work and drawing. - Hey, can I enter? I really would love to open my mail. (laughing) - Pam was gonna come make up here. She goes, I'm gonna do a seducu in my phone. (laughing) - I'm gonna be honest with you, I'm looking at this being created. This drawing is a piece of shit, sir, but Paul. - It's so slow. - This is a terrible thing, dude. (laughing) - Dude, make no money on the boardwalk. Two pictures a day. - Why would you do a physical act? (laughing) - It's like a rough draft. - Why are you, why are you doing this on a skateboard, spinning a basketball on our finger? - It's all for rentals. - You think my tennis racket comically lowers. - Yeah, from Louis. - I just feel bad to happen. - Come on, we're gonna do it. - Yeah, go in. - It really isn't that bad. - What? - I turn it up to 40. Can I see, can I raise him? Can somebody give you a pen? Can I raise him to draw a picture of Ian? - Tuck him out. - Can somebody give me a pen, please? I wanna raise him to a picture of Ian. - Here, take a. - I think I have it. - Here you go. - Here's a red pencil. - If J draws a better picture of Ian than you, you're, I mean, it's not gonna look good for you, sir, but Paul. - That's fine. - You're, Louis, he's at, he's at three minutes. - You're at three minutes, that's it. - All right, that's it, you got it. - That's it. - What do you get? - What do you get? - That's good. - That's good. - What are you talking about? It looks nothing like him. - That stuck a hotel. - It looks like shit. - I like it. - Thank you, thank you. - It's like he just drew a bunch of squiggly lines. - All right, fuck it, let me zap him. Zap, so what is the name of your GoFundMe? (audience laughing) Sorry. (audience laughing) - Sir, Paul, one question for you. If you had one wish that we could make happen somehow, what would it be? - Not to zap me? (laughing) Oh my god, that's so sad. Jesus, it's a lie. - Now, but it wasn't that bad. - The zaping wasn't that bad. Big J is finishing his drawing right now. So, I mean, we gotta start rating these in the meantime. I'm not gonna compare it to Jesus, I'm just gonna compare to what he did. - What did J do? - J is drawing his own version of you right now. - He is. In record time. - Done. - Wow. - Wow. - Actually, that's good. - That's good. - That's not bad. - Side to side. - Side to side. - Side to side. - Thank you. - Side to side. - Neither one of these pictures are good. - Who are either of them? - That's insane. None of them look like you get it all. - Back off, back up with both of them. - I love it. One dimensional, just like you eat it. - Wait a minute. - I didn't color this mustache. I didn't color this mustache. - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. - I like Big J's drawing too. - All right, so we gotta go. - Cheers one man. - Thank you. - You're right. - Sitting there. - Drawing. - That's cool, you man. I was really, really good at it. - That's gonna save me trips to the hospital this Sunday. - Now, let's see that split on stage. (laughing) Sorry. - Go ahead, it's inside your son. Let it out. (audience applauding) - Or a back, I'll take a backflip. (laughing) Ian, I wish. - What do you think you're gonna do first? - Or a hip up, where you stands? I'll accept any of those. - Short three. - A three? - Three. - Five. (laughing) - I'm gonna give a three as well. - Yeah. - Dave? - Well, I'm giving a five, not just 'cause I believe in karma, but I'm sitting there, doing your art, taking the shots, controlling your bowels. Yeah. - Yeah. - We have a winner. - Or what do you think, Ian? - I mean, the way, okay, here's what I liked about it. He forced Jay to make a painting, like a fucking dumb fuck, so he got two paintings done in the time he was supposed to get one. I didn't consider that. I thought Jay there, with the only power he has, brain. - Okay. - Do we know that the brain is 100% with cerebral palsy? - It's about 90. - 90, what? 90% that's more than most of the staff. - It's more than the production staff. - That's pretty odd. - I think you blow G-Mike away in a spelling bee. - Yeah. - G-Mike, spelled B. I give him a 3.4. - Wow, 3.4, 3.4, like, I mean, this picture stinks. - Oh, that's fair. - You know that. - Yeah, I know that. - He is cerebral palsy. - I can do it. - Better. - Then why didn't you, you fucking retarded him. - Hey! - Sorry, sorry, sorry. - Ian. - Easy. - Sure, Ian. - He's the fuck you. - He's the fuck. - He's the fuck you. - I thought it wasn't as good as the nut sack, but I did think it was a little bit better than post shitty talent. I'm giving you a 3. - All right. - Cerebral Paul gets a 3. - Yeah. Cerebral Paul. - It's tough, tough, tough match. - Thank you. It's anybody's game at this point. - Not really anybody's game. Who's left? - Let's go with gimmick. - Oh. - Guys, give it up for gimmick. - That's also the name of the episode. (audience laughing) - Give me a break. Give him his laptop. - Okay, make it shit. - Why do all these sounds suck? We wanted to, you guys like dance and juggle and shit. - All right, put them in bunk. We really, by the way, full disclosure, we were thinking about just doing a straight-up, karaoke singing contest. - Yeah. - But we didn't think everybody's gonna bring this in. - You're stealing nut sacks talent. - You're doing a bomb hit. This is not a talent. - Second fucking talent. - This is the audience you've cultivated. - He brought the talent. - I'm gonna get high. - It's riffing. (audience laughing) - You should've made a singing contest. - How about a little origin story? - We, from, parts on the tone. - What school, what school did you go to, son? Where'd you go to wrestling school? House of Glory, by Amazing Red. - Is that in Jersey? - No, it wasn't Queens. - Oh. - How long did it take you to graduate wrestling school? - Oh, and he's taking a bomb hit. - Fuck your question. - Sorry. - You seem to come out of here. (laughing) - Here we go. - What was your GPA when you graduated? - My, uh, my first match was. (laughing) - My first match was eight months after training. - Nice. - Got you. - And the table's ladders and shock hauler? - Yeah. - You're a man. Why do you have a hair like this? - For wrestling, for whipping around. - Okay, good, good. - Whoo. - Fantastic. - All right, on the question portion, he killed it. - Yeah. - And I think it's the other shock hauler. - Oh no, it's that one. (laughing) - He got whole class. - There we go. - All right, so smart. He put that in the glass already, which is pretty sick. - Right. - So he's got brains. - Whoo. - Oh-ho-ho. - Okay. - Okay. So, gimmick, what is your, what is your talent? - So my talent. - It's okay. - So conspiracy theorists is really hacked these days. (laughing) - And everybody's lame. - You drew the bad straw, but Lewis. Lewis is gonna be a fuck. He'll just keep it happening. - Zero empathy. He's a sociopath. - Yeah. - That'd be my wrestling name. The sociopath. - Yeah. - That does. (laughing) - Whoo. (laughing) - So conspiracy theorists really hacked these days. Everybody just blames everything on the Jews. And uh. (laughing) - Challenge the other one. - This would happen in a cerebral polar regionally. - He was in another contest to begin his journey. - He lost a shot collar contest. - But yeah, it's a conspiracy theories that aren't by the Jews. - Oh, so you made us a little PowerPoint. - Oh, is this gonna electrocute your brain? What is it? - Oh-ho-ho-ho. (laughing) - That definitely made it worse. - Did it? - Yeah. (laughing) - You're a conductor now. (laughing) - You get skanky. - So conspiracy theories that aren't the Jews fault. First one. Should just be head space. - That's not their fault. That's not your fault. - That's not your fault. - It's a PowerPoint fault. - However, that's their fault. - Is there music involved? - No, no music. - Shock 'em. - Maybe it's your fault. - Guys, couple 'em out. - I think the crew's gonna tell you the issue. - Wait for the fucking thing, guys. - I feel like the crew's gonna say it is your fault, but I'll take the blame. - I like that, by the way. I do like him immediately taking the blame. they're using a lot of stuff that I don't want to hear excuses I wonder if I can't do it as my what can I do to make it better. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. Zap him. All right. Let's see. Here's one. Okay. Oh, Jay didn't do it. Okay, guys. I know there's a lot of conspiracy theories out about how he was covering up for his son. Look how young his son was when it was murder. There's no way he's covering up for his son. I know that like he did the long Bronco chase so they could clear evidence, but you got all our mouth free. There's the clear truth behind it all. Is that Chris Jenner and the state's hands stay on for Kardashian fame. As we see, as we see, she's clearly around. She's a side hoe, bold move being the side hoe, which is side dude at your main dudes courtroom. But, uh, yeah. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, we're getting gimmicks bedroom ramblings. Can questions aren't real? All right, it's just a pyramid scheme by big farm with some more cascans. Yeah. Four, four, or it's just a smoke screen to cover up for the crisp and warm murders. Wow. Wow. Ha, ha, ha, ha, this thing. Did you learn how to do PowerPoint at your wrestling college? Yeah. I did it like an hour before the show. Uh, wait, no, wait, no, we got too far. Oh, so, uh, if you guys are wrestling fans, you know, Vince McMahon blew up in the limo. We all saw it on live TV. Sure. We did. Right. Right. And the day that there was supposed to be the memorial, like the funeral for Vince McMahon, uh, all of a sudden, Ross starts off with this empty arena. And he's like, yeah, guys, Chris Benoit died and whole family, whole nine's dedicated to the whole show to him. And I think the only live clips in nation is that they sacrifice to Benoit family and a satanic ritual to resurrect Vince McMahon from the dead. Lewis, I just want you to know that eventually this guy's going to come to your house if you hire and, uh, the other one about a lot of Jews get a lot of hate for 9/11 with the truth is that Hulk Hogan did 9/11. Okay. That's not true. The Jews did 9/11. You piece of shit. No, no, we are though. You did it. A man that's directed. Fight for the rights of every man. Um, for sure, it was Hulk Hogan. Lewis, like the words, uh, Havana Gila, that's what that song is. Absolutely. By the way, Lewis, indisputable evidence, Hulk Hogan, for sure, I gave the big boots in the fucking twin towers. And then, uh, dominated over them. Yeah, they try to take him down. So I think he's right. Okay. Jeff Field doesn't melt steel beams, but steel chairs can. He wrote that line. I did. I did. I was the next one. Oh, yeah. Cody Ross. Nobody cares. My fucking present were adults. You fucking loser. Uh, we don't care. It's the only spot I could find that the Jews didn't do something. Why don't you take this shit to the bonfire, sir? That's a fucking fantastic answer. The only conspiracy's not involving Jews does tend to be wrestling. I can't argue that. God damn it. And you know, that's it. That's it. Well, just my background now. Oh, that's nice. He has a cat. He gets five. Oh, I'll get the voting started to 2.5 dead center, 2.5, 2.5 dead center. Okay. Ari, there was no talent there whatsoever. Finding something that Jews didn't do, I think is a talent. Yeah, but there was no like you didn't edit anything. It was a great. I assume that we're going to be doing some sings. You know, try to do something that nobody else would do. No one's saying it's all we wanted. What do you think now? Yeah, dude, measure chance. You're going to sing something original or cover? Oh, my God. He's got original. Oh, okay. Okay. Original. Occupylla original. So excited. Do you want to beat? Yeah. Yes. Let's go. I want to beat Pamela. She's got, by the way, she's got any sort of talent. She's going to run away with this. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Dave, what do you got going on there? What's that? I just wanted to get in the contest. Dave is the most talented person here. So far, by far. So far, by a lot. Sorry, I locked eyes with Paul. Sorry about that. That's okay. I'm giving this guy a four just for that. That was fucking awesome. But wait, he's going to do an original rap for us. Go ahead. Not original. I'll do it. I mean, we want original. I can try. That's what that's all we want. Just you know, diabolical, psychological. It just, it would have to be so good for this not to go bad. No, this is going to go bad. Fuck. But I mean, that bombing is part of the fun, right? That's what we tell people so they don't get upset and so it's because we tell ourselves when we bomb, we're like, that's better that way. Oh, it's good. You need to take a couple else. You remember, keep humble. Come on. Wearing that. I haven't told you about the car right home. You know, like an Inca God. All right. Go. Oh, we're getting beat. I thought I just had a beat. No beat. Let's go. Let's go. David, tell him the ones and twos. Mixed master D. Fuck it. I'll throw all my two sentences with you the way I'm going to go down and loosen. Discredited from my useless hallucinations and the fact that I was nurtured big brothers and fluent. Maybe it's not breaking down mathematically, put it back together romantically, we sit down and have thematically. Y'all saw it. Listen, so happy. It's happening. Bad. I didn't go good. No, I know. That's why I wasn't leading. All right. Fuck. All right. Dave, you say you want to give him. I was going to give him four and then when he threw the wrap in there, it goes right back up to four. You keep doing what you're doing. You in finance. I like that he wrestles and has a cat. I'll give him a four and a half. Okay. Whoa. It's a perfect score. There's two fucking nights. Lewis. All right. Did you give him a score yet? No. I'd say, uh, listen, here's the deal. He's telling us. What? But the one talent he serves is not making any of us feel bad. So in a way, he gives us all hope. Yeah. I can give him a three point four. Wow. Oh, he's, I believe it every one of three point four or so far. No, he gave the one. Some of you heard me. All right. Uh, uh, listen to me. That fucking PowerPoint sucked it. And the wrap was the same. No, singing was a little bit better. I like how game you are. All right. Which is great. All right. Um, but is it, but it was maybe the worst talent we saw. There was nothing there. No, no, no, no. I took a picture. Yeah, pose was. I'm leaving the same as Paul. 2.5 for me. Okay, right in the middle. That's what I gave him. Give it up for give it up for gimmick. Hi. It's a good one. gimmick. Oh, two more. Hey, real quick, I saw about one of our amazing sponsors over here. Legion of Skanks. That is sheath underwear. Boy is my dick comfortable right now. Oh, yeah, dude. You're never not rocking them. Shit. But you don't even use the holes because you have such a little penis. No, but you can celebrate father. You don't need a big penis to your sheath. You can just let it be like flat-dicked in the front of the way I do it. No, not me, dude. I'm fucking swinging. It bulges it. It makes it bulger. No, it really does. 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That's so funny. Well, listen, we've all been using Sheath underwear for years now. It's fantastic. At least the two pouch technology is so comfortable. Make your dick look fucking awesome. Give the man your life something they'll actually use every day and the only gift it'll make him scratch their nuts less. 30% off site wide between now and June 21st at Sheath underwear.com. Sheath underwear.com 30% off site wide up until June 21st. And they always offer a 100% money back guarantee. So if you don't love them, I get your money and fucking run with it. That's not how they are fly by night. Yeah, they're the best. They'll give you your money back. Shout out to Robert. On underwear. Hey, do you think they can resell those underwear they have to send back? Yes. At like a porn shit. Absolutely. Yeah. Dude, what do you think they have a regular Sheath underwear? Like, we're ball pouches really long. Yeah, I gotta be honest with you guys. Did you send those to me? The second hand Sheath market is pretty jumping right now. It's driving. I've been in here. Sheath underwear.com 30% off. No code needed. Hi guys. Today's episode of Legion of Skanks is brought to you by Rich Wallet. How do you usually start these? That's fine. That's fine. Always been podcasting for 28 years. You want me to start? Do you take over? No, I got fun. No, I think leave that intro. There was a solid intro. What do I do? Guys, I got distracted. I didn't know what to do. Well, it's not just a power bank that we're talking about for Father's Day. It's a five and one power bank. Let's charge anything at any time. It's great. I use it all the time. It's my favorite power bank that I've ever had in my life. entire life. It has the magnet thing with a smacks of the back of your phone. - Is it max-afe? - Smacks is max-afe. - Oh totally max-safe. - Yeah, USB, both. Dude, it has three phone charges in one power bank. You don't need another power bank. That's it. You could, I charged two phones the other day with one power bank. - Dude, you're fed your fucking mind. That's crazy. You're living on the edge. But you can do it. I'm just saying, it's fucking wild to get that low. - They also have cool colors like olive green, base camp orange, and matte black. And it comes with free shipping into 99 day risk free trial. - Dude, are you shut down? - That's a three months. - So we're three months. - Guys, you only have one thing to pack in five ways to power. For a limited time, you can get up to 40% off ridges. - That means three months later, you can be like, "Hey, I got to get on it now." - Yes? - And you still got a week. - Yeah. - And then you can be like, "I want to return this." - Yeah. - For a limited time, get up to 40% off during ridges huge Father's Day sale, Ridge.com/LOS10. Head right now to ridge.com/LOS10. And you're all set to go. - All right, guys, let's take a quick moment and thank Body Brain Coffee for supporting the show. Body Brain Coffee. We're all hyped up. Supporters to testosterone naturally, your brain function, your memory, your mood. Body Brain Coffee is five simple ingredients. It's real premium freeze-ride Colombian coffee that tastes great. All these other functional coffees, they're not coffees. There's so much of mushrooms and sludge in a cup. This is real coffee that's blended with the tropics and adaptogens that naturally support testosterone memory, brain function, and mood. It's the best. People love it. Go look at our reviews and shop a fire on Amazon. It's absolutely killing it right now. Right now, go to BodyBrainCoffee.com. Use the promo code LOS20 and save 20% off your order today. And the creamer is launching right now. The pre-cell just ended, but you can get the creamer in the next couple weeks. So BodyBrainCoffee.com, promo code LOS20. All right, where were we? Let's go for life for two more. Nurse Betty. Nurse Betty, well, we actually decided we were changing your name. We don't like Nurse Betty anymore. She still crutches this fucking loser? Yeah. Oh my gosh, it's a generative. What's wrong with this guy? He's got gout. This is how bad it could get. I gouted. So we decided we're re-name out of you. We're re-name you, Gaylord. Wait, what happened to you? I just tore my killies. Now playing what? Playing what? The gayest way to tear your killies. He also tore his throat that day. And it's a gay way to go down. Really gay way to go down. And what's your talent? Hold on. Oh, here we go. If you made some production shit, dude, I'm going to kill you. I made an original rap and beat. And an original rap and beat. This is what I'm talking about, folks. Okay. It's got a real value, right? All right. It hurts. It feels like I'm being punished. It sucks, right? Holy fuck, shit. Oh my god. Jesus Christ. It's so much worse than you think it is. It is. Yo, spin that shit. I got surgery. You made the beat. It burned me, too. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, please wait. He also made the beat. Wait, he's starting. He's doing it, too. Ooh. It's the springtime Olympics. Here is 2026. Had to bust out the mic. Just a windish shit down in the basement. At the stand, putting on a talent show. For all of the fans. But they can only be one champ. So I'm here today to prove that I am the man. Not just another skit. So that says they have fans. Vanny Vity VG. Yo, I came with a plan. So sit back relax. That's no competition, yo. First up was Bob Lazar. Unoriginal hack. How do you get that far? He called me out and tried to give me the chat. But I get sent him back. I guess I got the last laugh. And how about that big bitch, no? One look at her and you might throw up. And then there's Crenshaw, the token black. How you gonna get drinks if you can't hold up a glass? You've got Craig Michael Mima, whatever they them name. Has to say it already. How's completely insane. And poor Paul need all the help he could get. Narcan couldn't save him or bring his leg back. You got gimmick trying to start in those champs. Bitch, please, you got to work here before you do that. And don't forget the big Goon Nut sack. He's the freak with the hat. A real psychopath. But when the crowd laughs, it's not with you. It's that. And for Hammond, I don't have much to say. Besides the fact that we don't know, you're reclosing the game. That's it. Yep. Yep. You got it. Don't worry anymore. Yep. Yep. Not gonna lie. Poe is pretty cool. But at the end of the day, he's just another Brooklyn Jew. Even only with one leg. I'm running laps around the competition for days. Yo, the name's Nurse Betty. You best not forget me. Nurse Betty is the choice that is right. Skakes all day shouting threefold life. Yeah. Let us go, fucking talent. You fucking losers. You took a picture, Poe. You fucking idiot. I'm gonna go first. I'm gonna tell you right now. I'm giving you a two. That was fucking really good. Oh. Ah. That's what you got. No, no, no. I was the right thing to do. No, I'm gonna give him. I'm gonna give him. I was genuinely impressed. Ain't nobody's perfect. Nobody's perfect. Poe but he's nerfed. Poe but he's nerfed. He's right. It's got a good point. Let's say it. I'm gonna give you a 4.5, my friend. 4.5. That was incredible. I can cure. I'll make it easy. Another 4.5. Wow. Wow. How are you here? I'm gonna give you a 4.3. 4.4. 3.5. David's out. 4. That was 4 life. 3 of us. That was real old school watching. You read the lyrics off your phone. That's how they do it in Compton. It takes you back. It was great. I mean, you really brought it. So blah, blah, blah. I'm giving you a hard four as well. So, yeah. There you go. I'm gonna give you a hard hour. 4.5. That was such a wonderful poem. Beautiful. One more time. You know what? You're back to Nurse Betty. I like it better. Yeah. One more time for Nurse Betty. Thank you. I like this guy. He got in. He got out. He did the job. Yeah. That was a fucking actual talent. Thank you. He made the answer. You should be on the show. You're fucking great, dude. No, dude. You're great, dude. It's so angry. It's a nice fucking man. This guy's invested, dude. Come on up, sir. No wait. Is Pamela going to last? Pamela can go last. We have one more. We have a-- Pamela can go last. Sir. Sir. Sir, shut your face. Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Hammeridge. Hammeridge. Megan is way up here. We'll see. Oh, it's this. Pamela is-- There he is. Pamela is-- Pamela's-- There he is. There he is. Oh, yeah, all right. Hammeridge. Hey, who? Okay, Hammeridge. Your face is as gay as Hammer. You got it, Ori. Hammeridge, you're here for what? To take the all-valley tournament? We had shocked a lot for this, but I do comedy, so I was going to give you a few jokes. We're gonna do jokes. Oh, my god. I'm going to shock you just. How are you already this red? I know how this is probably going to go, so. Because you've never told us jokes about getting shocked. Non-stop. He's wearing two. Are you ready for the best fucking night of your life? It doesn't work. It won't work. One killer minute from Hammeridge. Ori, you can't do both. You can only do-- Oh, we'll go back and forth, fun. Is this one working? That one works. That one works. This one works. That is pretty fun. They're both fun. You don't know which way it's going to come. Why is it so right? By the way, he was just red before it started. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. The lead to this gang is the golden ticket winner. What did you say? What did I? You said you can't breathe? I was perfect, actually. Okay, that's a ton of hints, look though. Now, I said I can't breathe. I think it's like a car. Where does he do his comedy at? Up there. On stage. One unerrupted minute, except for zappings. One minute. There we go. There we go, Hammeridge. I think we're careful. Don't spill the soda everywhere. Hammeridge has comedy, which we don't like. We do not look positively on people who do comedy. They're trying to be interns. We don't love it. Yeah, I would have done something different if I were you. All right, hey, how are we doing, everybody? How are you feeling? Yeah, we're good. All right. I am shitting my fucking pants. This thing hurts so fucking bad. Okay, all right. That's what I touched on a few things that came up during my my interview last week. I am a personal trainer. I work in a very progressive neighborhood down in South Brooklyn. A lot of my clients are trans people. For you guys, tighten up. It's cool. I like them. It's fine. It's not a big deal. There's some of my favorite people to train because you have no idea how easy to train somebody if they're already on testosterone. It makes me feel like I am the best personal trainer of all time. You know, it feels like you're playing Madden. You're in the creative character mode. Let's just turn the strength up as high as we can. You're all the way to 99 and see what happens. (audience laughs) Last thing I wanted to touch on was my last name is a Loser, it's L-O-S-I-E-R. Lewis commented it sounds like Loser, it's Loser with an I in the middle, L-O-S-I-E-R. So growing up, all the kids, they had fun nicknames for me in school. I'd walk down the hallway, instead of Tyler Loser, they'd be like, "Oh look, there goes Tyler Faggot." (audience laughs) Oh, come on, that's not nice to you. (laughs) And that's all I got for tonight. Thank you guys. - No, two more, one more joke. One more joke. - One more joke. One more joke. - All right, I'm a pretty anxious guy. I either do therapy and stuff, but I don't like all the therapy speech they do. I think that's kinda gay. I, my therapist the other day was talking about love languages. And she was like, "Yeah, learn your love language." I think those are dumb. I think fighting language is a lot more important. You gotta know how your partner fights, you know? Like, for example, my parents, they're fighting language. Something I like to call wish for yelling. (audience laughs) You walk by the bedroom door late night, you just hear, "And you never asked me, "How my fucking day was?" Shhh, you're awake to kids. Oh, now you care about the kids. (audience laughs) All right, please can I be done? This hurts so fucking bad, thank you guys. (audience applauds) - Hammeridge. Hammeridge did a great job there. Come grab a seat, Hammeridge. - I'll go first tonight. That's easy, 4.5, he did his thing, man. - 4.5. - 4.5. - Solid jokes, better than me. You want to write for me? - You were, and he was getting whacked. - He was getting games guys. - So hard. - He was, I mean, I literally just, I floored it the whole time. I just kept my thumb on it the entire time. - I mean, it's so perfectly. - And he was like, "I don't think about, "Trade, you look like, if it was a cartoon, "you'd be flash you a skeleton and back and forth." (audience laughs) - If you could nail that cadence and hire and hide those shotguns and go on Killtony, you would be the next regular. That was incredible. - That's a five. I mean, the kid went through, it's already hard enough to do stand-up in this environment. He was getting shocked, he got genuine lamps. That's a five. - Dave, what are you saying, my friend? - I'm gonna have to, first of all, I also wanted to see more. I mean, the last joke did it for me. Now, was that a true story or was that something? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My parents, they didn't want to fight in front of us. So, they would go into the rooms late at night and they'd just eat like, "I do fuck you, fuck you." - Wow. - The whole time, and I just walked by and big, "Oh, that's a great marriage. "Full of love in the house, yeah." - For sure. - I get shocked on every punchline I'm finding out. It's gonna stop trying to be funny. - I also, I'm gonna have to give you a four. What did you say, 4.5? - I gave him a five. - You gave him a five? - I gave him a four. - 4.5. - I mean, he has parents and that's not fair to the other contestants. - So, I thought he was great. Here's the thing, he was in his comfort zone. This is the thing that he does, it's a talent. - It is a talent, of course, which he's, head and shoulders above most people here, but I'm not gonna give him as high as the rap that fucking nurse Betty. Yeah, I thought nurse Betty's rap was the best we've seen so far. - Yeah, that's fair. - So, I'm gonna give you, I'm gonna give you a four. - All right. - That's nice. - That's not bad. - How many eliminations today? - Two. - Oh, wow. - Listen, here's the deal. Yeah, whatever. (all laughing) - 4.3. I would say. - Oh my God. - Yeah. - Four life, there'll be three of us. - All right, get out of here, thank you. - Great job. - Great job. - Yeah, take him off. - Thank you. - Oh, on face. - That'd be right, Lewis. - Yes, don't. (all laughing) - Wait, Lewis. - He's here, slay the off camera. - Oh, I'm gonna kill him. - I'm gonna kill through him. (all laughing) - You take this off now. Thank you very much, Ham Ridge. You're the best. - How about it for Ham Ridge, everybody. - Yeah. - We're talking for Ham Ridge. (all cheering) - He's sweating. - He's pouring sweat right now. (all laughing) - Ham Ridge, pretty safe, probably. - All right, last but not least, the lovely Pamela. - Do it, Pam. (all cheering) - Pam, great bitch. There we go, clock it. All right, so grab a seat, Pam. Take this microphone. - Thank you. - Okay, so now, is there an issue? You had an open heart surgery. - You have a heart thing, so I don't think you should. - No, you can't do it. - You don't want a little dead person on you, yeah. - You're out, beat up. - I mean, my family beat it, 'cause we're poor, but you know. - We were a butt plug that donations me to vibrate. - I like a pink butt plug back then. - Okay. - So, before I do my job. - No, you're not doing a fucking talent, you're not doing a shot call, you're not doing a talent. - I'm doing a talent, let's do a talent. - We're not doing it. - Hold on, no. No, I don't want to hear what the talent is, if she's not willing to do the shot call. - I'll do the shot call her. - No, no, no, no, no, you legit have a heart condition. - You have a heart condition. - I just saw the paper, so I can't sue you. - I can't sue the dude. - No, you're through the club, the club. They're Italian. - Can you? - I can sue the dude, right? - Can you look it up? - Yeah, yeah. - They're Italian. - Can you? - I wish you'd fuckin' was born with a hole in your head that would never close. - Jesus Christ. - I'm sure she already does. - It's called her mouth. - So what's the town? - Let me do my talent. - Yes, okay, cool. - Not until you put the shock on. - Wait, did we look up? Are we looking up? - Stop talking. - Stop talking. - If you were born with two holes in your heart, can you get shock-colored for fun recreationally? - No. Yeah, no. - Absolutely not. - No. - You're eating it? I need to see your fuckin' diploma for fuckin' you pan-man. - Just do a little lower. It might turn me on. - Oh, I'm sorry. Did I just say, I didn't see her. Did you eat it for fun? - Is there a name for this condition? - ASD. Atrial. I said it on Killtonio. Oh my god. Atrial. - This gets you on first on the airplanes. - The wall has two holes, so I used to get really tough. My blood mixes up, so I get tired quickly. Not anymore, but. - She's gonna die. - I might literally die. So guys. - All right, I will tell you what, no. I'm gonna have to do it. - Do it. - Worth it. - My scar makes it look like my boobs are bigger than what they really are. - It does? - Yeah, kind of. - That's when I used to think that about Saga from Street Fighter. I was like, "Yo, he looks like his great tits." Can we, what, gee Mike, what does it say? I see you laughing. - ASD surgery. Can I get shocked? - It says, "At a adrenaline spike can instantly knock her into a chaotic dangerous rhythm - All right, all right, all right, guys, let's have a look. - It could. - Wow. - If you say it could. - Good. - Good. - Thank you Dr. G. - Thank you Dr. G. Dr. G. - Okay, let me see. - Give us a little mic. - Thank you for saving the light. - If it's less than 10 percent. - I have 100 percent. - That's 70 percent. - I'm really gonna do, oh my gosh. If you put it on my thought, the fat might soften it, so. - That's a good point. That's not a bad idea. - You're a big chicken, too. - That's a good idea. No, and what if you wrap it around here? - Pamela, stop yet. - Pamela, we can't type with you. Fuck it, talking. - Fucking Alex. - Alex is taking her head, yes. All right, thank you, Alex. I agree. - Yeah. - Alex's two thumbs up. Full systems go. - Hold on. - All right. - Full systems go. - Yeah, it says if it's below 20, it should be good. - Let's do it at 15, so it could be safe. - No, don't. - Listen, we'll make history if you get somebody to die. - I might say no. - Alex is saying no. - Yeah, no, don't do this. Hold on. - We're here on. - Like 10. - Do it on 10. Do it on 10. - We're here for it. - Dude, if we kill her, one of us is going to jail. - No, that's not true. She's starting to win. - Nobody can sue you. - I can't even sue you. - Ooh. - Fine, deal. Let me draw straws. Whoever gets the shortest straws will want to take the blame if she dies. - Yes. - Great idea, all right. - All right, draw straws. - I have no idea, guys. - Okay. - Pretty full life. - Dude's leaving. - No, no, no. - Don't leave. - He's literally leaving. - They don't want to be a part of it. - They're both leaving. - They're not going to watch you die. - They're not going to. - Yeah. - Where's this? - They're taking bets upstairs. - They're literally leaving. - No, that's too close to my heart. - Dude, on her arm. - Wait, wait. - What? - Put her on her waist. - Undernipple. - Perfect. - Put it on your nipple. - Oh my gosh, over here. - No, it's going to be on the skin. - Hold that, hold that. - Do this. Put it down your shirt and have it face your nipple. - This is perfect. - Put it directly on your heart. - Hey, where's my camera? - Do we get it close to both of me? - Whatever. - I don't think this is a good idea. - Okay. - But she's got to go. - Yeah, I'm going to watch it. - I want to watch it. - No, there's stuff still here. Relax, Pamela. - Okay. - Okay. - Okay. - They're just annoyed by you. - There's a 20% chance I could die. - That's all though. - That's pretty good. - That's worth it. - That's pretty good odds right now. If somebody said there's a 20% chance you're going to win the lottery right now, I'd be like, "Oh, that sucks." - It's like they really left. It's just the four of us. - I know, they can't do this. - Oh my gosh, boring. - I know, they really do. - Live on the edge. - They hate cardiac issues. - Todd. - What? Shut the fuck up. I don't know you. - I went directing. - Shut the fuck up. Shut up. - Shut up. - Shut the fuck up. - You actually been north about it. - Look at Dave trying to sneak his way back in. - Come back, please. - Dave, you piece of shit get out of here. You're gonna be fucking piece of shit. We don't want you nowhere. - All right, I can't, I was, I thought you were gonna tighten it even tighter. - No, no, you're retarded. (laughing) - We can't do it on our arm. (laughing) - I don't know. - I don't think she, let me say this, okay. - I go on. I don't think she should be able to show kiss or talent if she's not being shocked. - I'll take this to it, just do it on a 15, right? - Wait, what's the talent first before you let you talk? - First of all, if you have no respect for her, how about the baby? (laughing) (clapping) (laughing) - Proctor face baby. - What was the talent? What is your talent? - I was gonna sing a song. - She's been playing. Oh, it's so funny to shock somebody while they sing. - Especially with a major heart murmur. - I know, oh my God, you got it right? I had two murmurs, that's right. - I wish you'd murmur a less. - You don't fucking get a pinch off. - I'm murmuring. - Okay, so I'm-- - I murmured to Lewis, this chick's dangerous. - What is that? - Before I sing my song, I just wanted to say, if I could have a super magic talent, it would be, if I could shoot my eggs into your dicks, that would be, yeah, so if I got you pregnant, that would be a geriatric pregnancy. - Well, I already have a cyst. (laughing) - Oh my God, well, it inflicts a lot of people with the half surgeries now. - I got, you're a dick pregnant. You can finally give birth to that half-like baby, you love that? Finally, and you, I'm Dominican, same thing. So, that's why you got to say the end result. - I need to get you pregnant, so that dick could get a little bit bigger. I just had to say that. - Are you trying to get bitch? - And you're like, I got your dicks pregnant. - I'm starting to like-- - You would think that you would have your triplets, 'cause it would be so big. Okay, so here's the song. - Even though we've never had sex. - Come on, here we go. ♪ I fell in love with a couple ♪ - No, no. - I thought, wait, no, we would be shocking you, man. - We have to be shocking, man. - No, no, no. - Go ahead. - This sucks so bad. - No, it doesn't. - No, don't shock her. - No. - No, she's so desperate for her father figure. Just stop. (laughing) - Are you gonna be there? Or you want to just shock her and see what life brings? - No, we've already tried it. - And I'm always looking-- - Let the system solve it, and it didn't work. - You're just looking for crippled comedies. - Your talent should be getting two guys to knife fight. - Knife fight. - Yeah, a diminutive. - Don't shock her. - You know, sockless Puerto Rican. - Legit, don't shock her. She's got a heart condition. - Wow, this is really happening. - This is fucked up. - I'm not kidding. - We need her for the World Cup. It's coming. - Stay, hey, okay. - Lewis already said the thing. - I'm gonna say the song. - All right. - Where's the shocking move device? - Don't, don't, please don't do this. (humming) - You're gonna see the way she's acting. She deserves to be shocked more than ever. - She's already been shocked enough. It's wrong with her. Just stop. This is abuse. - No, no, we're tough. - I'm gonna do that. - Fuck it, we're here. Stop. Don't shock the poor girl that's desperate for attention. - Don't honor for it. - She's a heart condition. - I'm gonna go through it. - Yeah, stop, please. - Stop, please. - So don't look at bandana, like a real Dominican. - Take the shock for her. - I said take the shock for her. - Be your clear, clear, clear. - Yeah, clear, clear. - Maybe your gout will be put it on your gouty foot. - What are you doing for it? - Wait, do you wanna take the shock for me? - Yeah, where have you been, idiot? - Yeah. - Please do it. (laughing) - You just dodged the bullet. (laughing) - That's okay, a white tie can do it, it's okay. (laughing) - Ian, what a gentleman. - He's taking it. - Ian, Ian finance a true gentleman. - Jimuery is very much alive. - He's so in right now. She loves this, too. Look, what a fucking man he is. - A man standing up for me, thank you. - Ian is a heart attack. It'll be the funniest ending to the show. - That would be something. - All right. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Are you letting your mind get up to, at least I didn't. - Get them off. - All right. - What is this? - What is this? - We're digging in. You're just gonna at least be touching. - Come on. - Ian's touching. - Ian, no. - I'm not fucking in turn. - You took the shot out of the privilege. - No. - No. - It's all. - No, no. - No. (laughing) - No. (cheering) - No, no, no, I want you all to like be fine. - You gotta make it nice and tight. - Nice and tight. - Shut up. (laughing) - Louis, fix it for him. - Yeah, at least he did. - He won't let me. - Hey, there, just go, yeah, just go, see ya. - There you go. - A touch tighter. (laughing) (screaming) - No, no, no. - No. - Not just one. - Ian. (laughing) - God. Damn it. (laughing) - Come on. - God, I feel alive. Let's start the show. Hey, everybody. - I'm gonna be a cleablin' lion. - You gotta be kidding. - Ian, you gotta do a turn to her. - Fit to six. - You have to do it during her whole talent. You have to take a shot. - No, she has no talent. So we're done. - She's gonna see a song. - I don't care. - I don't care. - I heard it down to her 15. - Come on. - I'll turn it down to her 15. - Here we go, here we go. - Where was he at? - That's 25. - Wow. - Starting that eye. - What? - Thanks, thanks. - Hold on. - Hold this fucking old gold plate up. - I'm sorry, it made me come, watching you dither around. - I'm sorry, Patrick. All right, here we go. - What? - Here's my talent. - Hold on, no, somebody's gotta get shocked. - No one's got, we've done the shocking. Just end it. - Move it, look at that. - No, dude. - I didn't audience remember get shocked. - Yeah. - Move it, dude. - This guy wants his shock. - There's a couple of volunteers. - I thought this guy was that guy. - Yeah. - No, if that guy takes it. - Move it. - I thought this guy was that guy for sure. - Wow. - Wow. - Thank you for risking your life for me. - Wow. - He lay down the gauntlet. - Oh yeah, you need a microphone. - Let's see, we've got four. Let's go. - Okay, you got a lot of pressure on you. - You don't need that. You don't need that. - This is something we've only seen at family courts. - Productions. - Here we go. - Okay. - Here it is. - Here she comes. - Pamela. - Get a camera on some guy. - Pamela de Jesus. (laughing) - I fell in love with a cowboy. - Oh. - Here, don't get in the way with us. - I fell in love with a cowboy. Sit down. Even though I'm just a city girl. - Oh. - I want to marry a cowboy. - Zapp. - Zapp. He shot his concentrate into my heart. - Zapp. - His dick is like a work of art. - Miss, I'm just trying to get my ID at the DMV. Boy, I fell in love with it so I'll take care of it. - Medium latte. - I fell in love with a cowboy and the dog just a city girl. - Is that his app? - Yeah. - Come on, I wanna marry a cowboy. - This, you still haven't told me why they impounded my course. - Where's the helicopter? - I wanna marry a cowboy, even though I'm just a city girl. - Nice. - Is that an original? - That's an original. - It's an original. - All right, thank you. Thank you, annoying guy, you're the man. Guys, one more time for annoying guys. - He's great, he stepped up, we're getting jammed up. - He's gonna get sapped, he's gonna get sapped a million times. - I got took your saps. - A real gentleman. - Thank you, thank you for your service. - Where are we, let me get this, let me get sapped. - Just throw it away. (laughing) - Let me see if it's for a minute. - Smith. - Because she couldn't take this app because of her stupid heart condition, because God hates her. And somebody else took her saps, the song was okay. - Was that an original? - Yes, it's an original. - She just wrote this. - Just now you wrote that? - It makes a (laughing) - I give her, I give her a three, three, three and a five. - Three. - I think that I am very disappointed that she did not take her own saps. I was literally willing to put her life online. Every day is a gift for her. (laughing) - I'm gonna give her a, I'm gonna give her the lowest score that I've given, 'cause it was no worse than any of the other suck. - Yeah. - Lewis, I've invoked my rule as president of muting a microphone. That would spend some time now. It has been always my privilege at my right to mute anyone's mic for up to one minute. And I muted yours, Lewis, this lady fucking sucks. She has taken down this episode from start to finish. And you have led with your dick and included her. But she's so obviously a fucking time suck. So I'm gonna let you talk. Obviously it's a zero point zero, but now I will let you speak for yourself. All right, all right, I've listened to your feedback. And I, Graham, I'm gonna give her a lower score than I was gonna give her initially. She gets a 1.5, that was an annoying song. She didn't take the zaps. Her tits were just okay. - No, she's a city girl, zap. - Zap. - Zap, I fell in love with a cowboy. - Zap. - Just a city girl. - Zap, Zap. - I wanna marry a cowboy. - Zap. - Zap. - Zap. - You can go, I'm just a city. - Just stop it already, zero, zero. She gets a zero. My God. I mean, come on. Try to get me pussy in your own time, Louis. These are paying customers. What the fuck, thank you. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - No, no, no. You deserve more than that. - Gow, Gow, Gow, Gow, Gow, Gow, Gow, Gow, Gow, Gow, Gow, Gow, Gow. Yeah. (audience cheering) Zero for being, yeah, save. What are you thinking? - Mike, Dave's mic is off, guys. - Do you think Louis is Dave? - There's so much to say, but I was gonna. - Get told? - It's all right. - There's so much to say, but I was gonna say this. (audience laughing) Miss, you brought me back to Staten Island. And I believe I'm going to give her a, how would you say, a quadruple. But I could be convinced to make it up at a sinko. Now, I wanted to ask you a question. Okay, what sign are you? - Are you? - Are you? - Are you? - Are you St. Anel. (audience laughing) - Kids, that guy took the shocks for you. Wouldn't it be great if you gave him a kidney? I mean, wouldn't that just be fair? - That would be fair. - No, I give her a sinko. How about that? - Five. - Five. (audience laughing) - Four, five from Dave. Even though his microphone's not on, I'm positive about this. - Woo, thank you. Don't fucking know what my microphone is. - I'm here for the next competition. - Instead of the shocking, how about you? - You have to come up here and get vaccinated. (audience laughing) - But that's how I ended up with the gale. (laughing) - All right, Jay, Jay, you already voted R8, you didn't vote yet. - Yeah, 0.0. - I don't know what. - Is that? - Yeah. - Even though I'm just a city girl. - Is that me? - Is that me? - Is that me? - Is that me? - That's me. - I got a part, Lewis. - I got a like it. - You forget the other part, Lewis. You're like, I want him to shoot his fucking load up in hard snatch in my heart. And ride his fucking horse cock with my fucking fat snatch. David, David's a great idea. You can redeem yourself right now. (laughing) Do it in Spanish. - Yeah. - Yo quiero un caballo. - Oh. - Zap. - El Zepo. - El Zepo. (speaking in Spanish) - Yo quiero un caballo. - Yo Zap. - Zapos. - Los zapos. (speaking in Spanish) - Zapos. - Yeah. Spanish finally, you're admitting your Puerto Rican. - Yes, I am. Thank you, Pamela. (laughing) (laughing) - These guys hated her so much. They're leaving. Look. They hated her. They're out. These guys are furious. - That's the first time. - All right, so the scores are all in. - All right, thank you, Pamela. One more time for Pamela. (clapping) - I'm still awake. (laughing) - Yeah, hello ice. I'd like to, um, I'd like to report Lewis and the girl. (laughing) - Yeah, that's a two for Tuesdays. Do we have our two lowest scores? - Well, why don't we go from highest to lowest? Right, who, who is it? - Do you want all the interns behind you guys? Well, we need them. - Sure, sure, bring 'em up. Guys, give it up one more time for all of your interns. Nurse Betty, Nutzac, Pamela the Psycho. (clapping) - And guys, how about Paul Poe? Hemridge? - Hemridge. - Gamick, everyone's coming up here right now, guys. - Oh, also, we gotta keep clapping as fucking cerebral Paul. - Wow, that's coming. - It's cerebral Paul. Take it as, take it as fucking time. - Take it there, come all the way over this way. Keep on going down. (clapping) Remade cerebral Paul to the longest walk. (clapping) - Okay, cerebral Paul, feel free to seal that lady. - Annoying, annoying guy's up here. You know what? Annoying guy's officially in. (laughing) - Annoying guy's here. - All right. - All right. So, whoa, who is officially our winner? I think our winner should get immunity next week. - Oh, this keeps going. (laughing) - Hard way. - More speddy. (laughing) - Our winner tonight. - Between the scores. - Here, dude. - Oh, thank you. - Let's, who's our, who's officially our winner with immunity next week? Our winner tonight, with immunity next week, with 22.3 points. Hemridge. - Yeah! (clapping) - Yeah! - Wow. - Wow. (clapping) Nobody likes hemorrhage. - Good work, hemorrhage. - We all like hemorrhage. We're living in a high alternate reality right now. You think people like that song. (laughing) ♪ I fall in love with a cowboy ♪ - Snap. (laughing) ♪ Seven by the Teyamos ♪ - Snap. (laughing) ♪ Did that be sa-fu-da-blue ♪ ♪ I fall in love with a cow ♪ ♪ Who else ♪ ♪ Sell that post ♪ ♪ Congrats, hemorrhage ♪ - You'll, second place with 21.8 points, nurse Betty. - Nurse Betty. - Nurse Betty. (clapping) - Yeah. - Good doctor, we'll see you. - You can do our top three, and then you can do our two eliminated, G-Mike. - With 18.75 points or third place. - Third place. - By the way, a third place can be shot in an arcane tonight. (laughing) - Nutsack. - Nutsack! - Nutsack! (clapping) - Not in arcane, I'm sorry. - That split was everything. So there's four people remaining, and there's a tie for fourth place. - Oh shit. - Right, so those two people are in, and everyone else is out. - All right, so don't say them. Let's say the bottom one first. - The bottom one. - The last place, and then the second last place, they're both eliminated with the score of 9.5. Dumbolina. - Dumbolina, oh, you're on it, you're on it, you're on it. - That's you. - She goes, who's Dumbolina? (laughing) - Holy fuck! - Dumbolina. - Stupid Dumbolina. - Stupid Dumbolina. - Stupid, stupid Dumbolina. (laughing) - She's just a Dumbolina. - Stupid being a Dumbolina. - And a stupid Dumbolina. All right, you're out. Thank you one more time for Dumbolina. Give it up for her. (clapping) - Good luck with your heart. - Good luck with your heart. - And the next day, turn. (laughing) - Good luck with your heart thing. (laughing) - All right, she got her surgery, looks positive. - But if you do the other mic, Dave, for some reason, you might first up, or. - I've given up on this. (laughing) - So, she's eliminated. - We have one more person being eliminated right now. - Tough but fair, let's do it. - Who's up for it? - In the final elimination. - Fuck. - It's Serval Paul, Paul, and Gimic. - And Gimic. - One goes home right now. - And the eliminated screen time. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, take one who stays. - One who stays is Paul. Paul's saying, Serval Paul, you're up. - Serval Paul. (audience clapping) - Wow, look how everybody, everybody who's in, sit down, he just felt for the second time. Everyone in, everyone in face. - Oh my God. Two of them are crippled. One for life, one for fun. - Oh my God. - It's so long to get down there. (laughing) - You're one good lady. - Oh God, Damien, hemorrhage you won. You don't need, you're in, face. Face hemorrhage? - He's hemorrhage, huh? - Oh, you lose your immunity. - Face harder than anyone in here. - Oh my God. - Oh my God, I'm scared of the screen. - Okay, you guys stay on your fucking face. - Not that close, he's foot finishing that ball guy. - And wait, who we say, what's going home, going home? - Going home tonight, the next eliminated spring turn, with 16.9 points is gimmick. - Oh, damn it, face, Paul, fuckin' face. - What the, what kind of Jerry Andrews going on? (laughing) - One more time for gimmick, he tried and he was, (audience clapping) gimmick. - The voting machines are rigged. - Give it up for all the spring turns that are moving on, the hemorrhage, Po, Nutsack, Nurse Betty, Paul. - Wow guys, wow, what a competition so far. - All right, unfaice, unfaice yourselves. - Unfaice yourselves, guys, unfaice yourselves. - Please don't, she's got the empty dignity. (laughing) - Just quit, why would you do this? - You were still telling everybody about you. - I think you've been in a place before you fuckin' piece of shit. - Talk to each other, you should be embarrassed to know each other. - Oh, damn it, you've all humiliated yourselves. - Don't forget to toss it off your chest, get ready for the lobster. - It's crazy how come all of you look. - Oh my god, fuckin' moron, your family's are in bed. - Oh, damn, I forgot, you probably have a girl that's watching you right now. - Oh my god, she's like, why are you doing this for other men? Who aren't that far ahead of you in life? They're like a little ahead of you. - I think you have the time for this. - Look at those champions, lip-bing, and pop your humiliating their way back. - Your behavior's got them humiliating, everybody. - The one just fell through a table. What a show. - So we would love to be a fly on the wall at the IHOP later on when they celebrate. - Yeah. - When they celebrate the victory. - Two years ago-- - Of Cambridge. - Two years ago when cerebral pals parents said, "I think we should live on his own. "We gotta let him spread his wings a little bit." This is what they pictured. Him being humiliated on this goddamn show. (laughing) - I can't wait for the bus to pick them all up to take them back to their group home. - What ex-boyfriends house do you think Pam was gonna be standing outside of tonight? (laughing) - Not if I tend to sleep in the yard. - Zap. - Zap. - Zap. - Zap. - Zap, zap. - Zap. (laughing) - How about it for our amazing guests and everybody, Ant-Fight and the great name of town? (clapping) - The Legion of Skanks will catch you later to speak on the Friday night hang. Until next time, everybody, peace. (laughing) - You've been listening to the Legion of Skanks Podcast with Big J-Operson. - Did you suck it? - I think I would instinctually suck it. - Big with three seniors. - You must be fucking over, Lewis. - Realist Gomez. - Lewis J-Gomez, you fucking sucker. (clears throat) - Lewis J-Gomez. - You're trying to watch a retard-drawer swapsick at hilarious. - I'm sort of known as a point guard in podcasting. Being a fat gay guy is so fucking awesome. - And comedian, Ari Sheffier. - The Legion of Skanks Podcast. (upbeat music) (dramatic music) - I'm fellin' on my bamba. - That's it. - Or you wanna leave this one? - Yep. Hey guys, I know the problem here. Oh, hi guys, today's episode of Legion of Skanks is brought to you by Rich Wallet. - That's fine. (laughing) That's fine. Or has been podcasting for 28 years. - You want me to start? Do you take over? - No, I got fun. - What do I do? - Guys, I got distracted. - Well, it's not just a power bank that we're talking about for Father's Day. - We haven't gotten there yet. - Right. - Yep, I see it. - It's a five-in-one power bank. Let's charge you anything at any time. - True to have. - It's great. It's my favorite power bank that I've ever had in my entire life. It has the magnet thing with it. Smacks to the back of your phone. - Is it max-safe? - Smacks is max-safe. - Oh, totally max-safe. - Yeah, USB, both. - Dude, it has three phone charges in one power bank. That's it. I charged two phones the other day with one power bank. - Dude, you've had your fucking mind. That's crazy. You live it on the edge, but you can do it. And it comes with free shipping into 99-day risk-free trial. - Did Ari shut down? (laughing) - So we're three months. - Guys, you only have one thing to pack in five ways to power for a limited time. You can get up to 40% off ridges. - That means three months later, you can be like, hey, I gotta get on it now. - Yes? - Yeah. - And then you can be like, I wanna return this. - Yeah. - They're having this huge followers day sale right now at Ridge.com/LOS10. Do not miss one of their biggest discounts all year long. All right. - You didn't do the purchase. - I see the purchase is gonna do. - What? - You didn't do the discount. - Yeah, you didn't say 40%. - 100%. - Did you say 40%? - It's not 40. - Oh, down at the end. - Get up to 40% off the bench. - You don't know how to count. - I'm doing it again, but what do you want to bet on that? - Where? - The $500 I owe you. - You didn't. - Yeah, where's that? - You're gonna be like, "Jay, you didn't do it." - 100%. - "Jay, you didn't do it." - 100%. - "Jay, you didn't do it." "Jay, you did not do it." He didn't do it. - Are you fucking me, your asses? - Can't wait right, give me, give me 100. Give me 100. - If you didn't do it? Either way. - He didn't do it. - He didn't say it. - He didn't say it. - I got 100. - Oh my god. - You got 100 on it? - 100. - Done, done. No. (clapping) Did he do it? Can we, no, no. Can we play it back right now? - Wait, what's that? - I don't believe he did, but we'll see. - I don't know it's done up top. - Let me do the body brain every quick, and then we're gonna go out of the team. Play it from the beginning. Oh my god, dude. - It's so tense. - If I lose another $500, I'm gonna be so mad at you. - I'm sure you already though. - I owe you 500. So if I have to pay him the thousand, I'm only paying you 400. - And if you don't, I saw you 500. - 600. - No, I'm not betting you. I wasn't betting you. - No, well, I just guaranteed you. I just put my money up for nothing. - You owe him 500. - You dumb fucking idiot. You were getting 100 of his money? - No, of your bet, I'm buying it for 100. - What did you think I was doing? Just offering you $100? - He was getting you to bet by saying he'll take it. - All right, fine, sure, I guess. - No, no, don't do it like that. Understand it. (laughing) - It's obvious. - I would know him another 100, right? He said I was, shut the fuck up. - If I'm wrong, I don't know if I'm wrong yet. - You're positive you said it. - I'm positive you didn't. - I was looking, I was positive. - You guys weren't paying attention. - I was paying attention. - Crap, what do you think? Did he say it? - Crap. - Did you guys think he said it? You're saying you did say it. - And who thought, and then what? - No, no, they're just clapping, they don't know. - I don't know. - Who thought they did not say it? - Crap, he has to be, don't think he said it. - Damn it. - Crap, where do we think he said it? (clapping) - Some of them thought it's hard to come. - They're hearing what they want to hear. And you know what I want to hear? - No. - That. - That. - That's everything. (clapping) - I mean, do you want us to call it even? (laughing) - I was. - I was. - I'm not going fucking anywhere. (laughing) - I don't want to know. - You know my dog, she's going to get out of the crate. - Dude, I cannot decide if I wanted you to shock Pamela to death or not. - I was willing to kill Pamela on the show. - Yeah. - Completely. - It even started freaking out. - That is. - So puttapuck with Ian. Well, Ian doesn't understand the dedication we have to the show. - Yeah. - You're burning your, you're burning your microphone. (laughing) It's melting. It's melting. (laughing) The pop screen. How much percentage now? (groaning) God. - Are you sure you want to go? Now's your time to get out. - Actually, I'm the more sure that you didn't say it. - I'm pretty sure. inside. That was your chance to get out. You're chance to get out. It's up. It's a fresh. Okay, shh. Everyone shh. Here we go. Here we go. I'm so fucking tense. This is the split decisions. No, I'm, I don't think you said it. So if we do double and nothing, you'll pay R $600 as well. No, what? So I have to pay you $1,500. And otherwise, we're even. You have to give already 600. What? No, I'm not going to go in for another 500. You don't have to go in for anything. You just want to clear off his debt with you also. Were you going to be 1500? Where are you 1500? Okay. Oh, you're passing my executive goes home, right? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you don't want, no, just keep the original bet. This is getting crazy. Bo, pussy, pussy, boo. I know that we've got cowboy. That's it. Hey, guys, I know the problem here. Oh, here we go. Hi, guys, today's episode of Legionist Gangs is brought to you by Rich Wallet. How do you just start these? That's fine. That's fine. I'm pretty out of it. You know, I think leave that intro. There's a solid intro. What do I do? We haven't gotten there yet. Right. Yep, I see it. It's great. It's a max safe. It's max safe. Oh, totally max safe. Yeah, USB, both dude. It has three phone charges in one power bank. That's it. You can charge two phones the other day with one power bank. Yeah, you're fed your fucking mind. That's crazy. You live on the edge, but you can do it. I'm just saying it's fucking wild to get that low. They also have cool colors like olive green, base camp orange and matte black. Did I already shut down? That's a three months. It's over three months. Guys, you only have one thing to pack in five ways to power. For a limited time, you can get up to 40% off-rigestion. Wow, fuck. Fuck. Nutsack, you're fucking girls left sucks, too. Both of you are left suck. Fuck you and fuck your girl and fuck you, Pamela. Suck my fucking dick. I hope your heart falls out of your body and fuck you, buddy, for looking at me that way and suck my dick with your big old fucking balls. You fucking asshole and a black guy's here too. Yeah, all right.