Dana Gould + Alec Baldwin (Carolla Classics)

[MUSIC] >> Welcome to Cruel Classics. I'm your host, Superfan Giovanni. It's the podcast. We play the best moments highlights and fans like the clips from all 17 years of the Adam Corolla show. If you'd like to access the ad-free archives, the Adam Corolla show, as well as the Adam and Dr. Drew show. And the newer podcast, beat it out. Make sure to check out Adam Corolla's substack, Adamcorolla.substack.com. Sign up, subscribe, listen and free. And if you'd like to request a clip, please email us, classicsadamcorolla.com. We have lots of requests for the Kailasx Adam Corolla show and love line. Two shows I'm remastering currently, both of which for over 20 years, lots and lots of work. If you'd like to hear any of those clips or want more information, check out my Patreon, patreon.com/givanni. Well, we're not able to air those clips in this feed. If you come find me over on Patreon, I'll be fine with what you need. All right, let's get to the clips. Come up first, we have 22.66, featuring Rob Schneider, not in this portion. Dana Grewl, Gina Grad, and Brian Bishop. This is Dana doing some Hewls jewels. One of the most often requested segments in the show's history. Hope you guys enjoy it. (dramatic music) Hello, and welcome to Pluto Fo. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, just stream it for free on Pluto TV. We're all your blockbuster favorites are landing all summer long. Catch anchor man, the legend of Ron Burgundy. Fantastic. The Matrix Trilogy. Welcome to the real world. Mean girls. Side up. Hi, Tanner. I'm the key in the world. And so much more for showtime. Press nothing. They're free 24/7. That is so fast. On Pluto TV, stream now. Pay never. Good to see you, Dana Grewl. Sorry, sir. I'm happy to see you. I'm excited about doing a little Hewls. Who? What? A little Hewl house. They're at the glass recycling place, which I'm excited about. And he didn't see the G.L. and the sign. The ass recycling. They're gonna come out shiny in noon. I love driving through trees. A ceiling filled with baseball hats. Oh boy, here's the place to get socks. Get ready for an adventure. It's time to go digging for Hewls jewels. Corolla's excited. On the Adam Corolla show. He will be missed that big, lovable marine Hewls house or fixture here on television and so cal for 30 years. Cal if you like innocence. Plus. The white Panther. I think we can say that. Yeah. I'm talking. I found myself watching him and just marveling at his innocence and his excitement for everything. We should all have a little more of that. We should all be a little more like Hewls house. And Dana shared my love of all things Hewl and does a spot on Hewl so what he does is he goes out and he tours different factories and plants and things like that and his quarries. He's very excited about it. Like Santa Ana, like an E sports arena. Hewl specializes in going to places you didn't know where places. Right. You did not know where businesses, people who have jobs that you did not know were jobs. Chicken plants and just people that do things that you didn't know that, you know, this is where they make the table that goes in your pizza that keeps the box from crushing your pizza. Like, yes. Somebody makes those. Right. Yeah, I guess that's a job. Somebody has to make those little tables. Well, today he's going to a Hewls going to a glass recycling plant so he's going to start by setting up at the adventure. Is it in, it says Arcada? Is it Arcadia? Arcadia. Arcadia. Yeah. It's kind of by Humboldt County. Again, cities he didn't know existed. Okay. Let's zoom for other cities. Here he goes. Yeah. Well, hello everybody. I'm Hewl Halzer and here we are on the plaza in the nice little community of Arcadia. Just north of Eureka on our state's northern coast. Now Arcada is primarily known as the home of Humboldt State University, which in itself is a fine place to go to school and get a good education. But we've come to Arcada to visit two companies, two businesses that make something that make products that are very unusual and beautiful. And both of these companies and the products they make are definitely doing their part to keep California grain. Okay. This is hilarious, especially me and Dawson, because people before weed was everywhere, Humboldt County was weed in a glass factory, I wonder what they make up there, keeping California green. Well, yeah. You couldn't see there is a, he was in the town center and there was a statue of Tommy Chong behind. Yeah. That's right. Now, you call it a sick shooter. It is this half a carb or is it objective? All right. So, that's you all kicking off his set in the table. Let's take a look at his interview with the owners. My favorite part is when he does his interviews on the fly. Yeah. I love the folks that involve with these companies. Utterly perplexed. Here we go. Wow. Here we are. It doesn't get any more basic than this. Yes, a big band of recycled bottles and glassware from the good citizens of Arcada. I'm standing here with John McClurge, who is the president, CEO, and pardon the pun, chief model washer here at the name of your company is Fire and Light. Fire and Light, which was established here in Arcada back in late 1995, 1995. When you make an absolutely spectacular product, we're going to find out what they make in just a minute. But John, let's start with the basics, recycled old bottles from Arcada. That's right. We make nine different colors and seven of our nine, we use over 90% recycled glass. Okay. So, the deal is, I like when he gets off his own mic, because he doesn't have the budget to love the guy or have him have his own handheld. So, at a certain point, he just kind of holds it in between and screams it starts drifting off. And he also will not, whatever he learns, it's not going to dissuade him from his mission, which is to find out he's in Humboldt County talking to a guy whose company's name is Fire and Light. There's a story there that it's not the story he's interested in. This is a box of bottles. Yes. Now, even notice, it seems to be what I can only describe as an unidentified flying object seems to have landed several of the children are burst into flames and they appears to be a tree melting. Where do you get a box this big to hold bottle? He'll, at this point, I would say that we should not focus on the box and focus more on our new overlords. Do they know what you make here? At this point, I've already made my peace with my god and I said goodbye to my wife. So, at this point, this juncture in the interview, we should probably turn our attention toward the new overlords, which are now pointing what appears to be a weapon. I can only imagine that they are also using Fire and Light, which is the name of your business, which brings us back to this box of glass. Yeah, he will, new world order here. He's going to use my name or my children's names or my business name any more in terms until we find out exactly what their demands are. Jerry and I seem to be fitted with some sort of manacles that appears to be made out of pure energy. Yeah, I'm having difficulty breathing. If I could remove my arms from my side, I would definitely choke you, Hill. One can only imagine the experience these creatures would have if you could explain to them what you're doing to these bottles. Let's just get back to it. I was warned that this interview would be uncomfortable, but I thought it was going to be boring. I had no idea it would involve me being, what's it called when you're thrown out of a building? Is it a place to fenestrated? Defensestrated when these mannacled creatures were bored or removed all the blood from my body. Cue alive on location at the crucifixion. Is that birch? Now, how does that, because that's subordinates a lot of weight with twine? All right. You just are picking up recycled glass. The notion that he would have to break down recycling, first off the folk, the fact that it's local. This isn't the stuff that's trucked in from Indonesia because that's not a money maker, Hill. By the time we ship it and we have to go round the horn, we end up losing money. So we do tend to keep it low goal here, because folks like, let's say you drink a coke here in Humboldt and then you drink one in Nebraska, it doesn't make economic sense to have the one shipped in. And he went all the way up to Humboldt for the story. That's a long drive. That's a long drive. I have a theory that now that I've just formed that Hill had a couple of fellas stashed around California. That way. I have to tell you a story off mic about something. I know somebody who knows somebody that knew you'll social, don't turn the mic off. Can I, I'll tell you this, and Dana, you tell me if this sounds rings true in your life at all, but I was invited to do the the midi. It's a big vintage car race at road Atlanta, and I said, when is it, and it says like the 27th or whatever, and I said, go and bring in a car to road Atlanta to do a race. It costs money. So I said to Mike August, let's do a show in Atlanta, or let's do a show in outside of Atlanta, whatever, Saturday night, and then I'll get paid, and then I can pay for gas and tires, and shipping, and stuff like that. So I feel like he'll do, does the same thing I do with with racing and shows with dudes. Like he must have had some dude he met on the internet. He's out there in Humble. He wanted to go up and visit him, and he probably had to say the guy, is there a recycling center? What can I do? And I, you know that he had, he's like, I understand you're interested in a couple hours of basic training, because he was a Marine. He was a Marine, yeah. And you know, he was charging Carter, not gomer. What's happening right here? Brian is removing the caps and cap rings, and then he's throwing the glass in the crusher. Okay, so just glass goes in there. That's right. The crusher, what he calls his thighs, just so we know. The crusher. That's interesting. That's interesting. Yes, I know the crusher. You have to wax your crusher. So you got to have that smooth. It's got to be smooth and hairless if it's going to do God's will. Now we move on to scene four. I think someone's going to be shoveling glass, and he was going to be blown away by. Alright, that may start. This fella is basically doing what? Now this is called collet. So Brandon right here is measuring out the crushed glass, and he's getting ready to prepare it for what we call charge. So he'll take all their glass here, and he'll add different minerals to it to create our colors. Okay, but if you want to like Yashiva, and they had a field trip, one of those Jewish kids would stab their teacher with a pencil halfway into this field trip. I went to the Laurie seasoning plan in Eagle Rock. It was devastated when I was like 10. I couldn't believe it. They gave us taco seasoning to live in like a packet of taco. What does a 10-year-old need less than a my mom wouldn't even eat red meat. So it's like I didn't think of taco seasoning. But this place I would have been more upset over. Also, I don't know what they call it. This guy is smashing bottles and shoveling them into a bucket. I don't know what term of art they applied to it. But in the sense of demonstration, that's what he's doing. Not wearing safety goggles, by the way. No, I'm just going to have glass lung after a couple of years working here. But here it comes out. When it goes up here, can we get it going up the line and just watch it? Because this is interesting. No, here's the glass. It's a conveyor belt that carries glass nine feet. That's okay. We can handle the soil. There it goes. It's bottles. And then it is fresh and put in a hopper. It comes out down there. And then it's chubbled up, sitting in this room right here. And the next step of this process, if you'd like this, it's exciting. Nobody thinks it's exciting. The phrase, this is interesting. Never been less true. Yeah. And also it must have been weird for the guy who owns the recycling plant, whose wife has been telling him like, Bob, just say your see captain or something. This is way too. It's got to be weird for him who hears there's a guy with a TV crew and it wasn't he who felt like what's the rub? The wrong number. This is just firing like we smashed glass. He must be thinking about, I'm sure half these guys tell him to pack it in because they must have some grift going, right? Or it's like, that's where like the retired members of Manudo, like the over 14 Manudo people go. Yeah, he's up to go to them. What do they call it? The Manudo Sanctuary. He's visiting some people at the Manudo Sanctuary and he needs to tie it into something. We just smashed glass. All right. Well, we didn't think it'd get more exciting. Here it comes. Why don't you see what happens next? What a tease. This is exciting. So busy, everyone. This is exciting stuff. Uh-oh. So now he's inside the factory. Let's see. This glass. Also, here's by the way, you just fuel at Duncirk. There's half a million people and there's only two color pants. There's beige and blue and that's it. All right. Sorry. What does the, uh, go ahead and play it there. See, I like the, what do you call this glass that falls off on the bottom here? Those are the strings. So we'll capture those right there and a half of a, uh, a cake and we'll re-mail that again. Or that's beautiful in itself. It's basically the stuff that when you yon that piece of saliva that after you've been like, if you're ever eating a sandwich and you yon halfway into eating it, it's that is the glass equivalent to that weird string thing. You could make a cage for someone on a two day work release and keep them in any room in your house and they would be afraid to break out because of the glass. It's essentially looking at the box of drippings of a candle. Wow. It's beautiful. And then, oh, sorry. Go ahead. Then you just say they escaped. And the next thing, you know, you're stuffing them like a, like a build a bear and you add it to your collection of human toys. Okay. Everything that we capture because look at it over here. It's like a spider web almost. Look at this. Yeah. Right here. I think anyone is clearly annoyed with you. Tell me about this again. Well, you sing it and that's basically it. And what is it called? It's called toast. It was bread, but it went in. Yeah. Where do you cannot just buy toast? If I am afraid of this process. You got to get in a loaf of bread. And then you have a device called a toast ear. And that would toast. I'm not from the future. I didn't come here from tomorrow. No, they had, I love Lucy had one of these in her kitchen. It wasn't a big deal. I love dizzy. Yeah. No, I'm just talking about the toes. I'm not taking her name of her. I forget it. Lucy had, Lucy had some explaining to do because she had a bomb in the back and the front. And she had some explaining to do because it's not fair to tell that to someone when you're courting them. You have a front bomb and it throws off all their plans. All right. What is the next clip Max? This is the end of the tour. All right. Here we go. Well, we could have ended up our visit to fire and light in front of some of that beautiful shiny colored glass. But instead, we have ended up in front of it. Right, because that's visually compelling. Yeah. Instead, we're going to go the label maker closet. Even you, even you'll sound disappointing. He'll. Yeah. What are we looking at here, John? What do we do? We, uh, perforated cardboard here. I, I argue vehemently for the showcase and the front of the, with the, the majesty and the way the light hits the glass. But you wanted recycled cardboard. So recycled cardboard. This is a parking lot. The other cardboard from the neighboring businesses. We run it through this shredder. We make this and we use this as packing material. We recycle about a thousand pounds of cardboard a week. So you're recycling the packing material for your recycled glass. We're shipping glass all over the country. And we have breakage of less than one half of one percent. And it's mostly recycled packaging. Boy, they do it right. And they do it all the way. What? I've never seen he'll interview someone who was so close to laughing the entire time. Also, the only visually compelling element of the entire thing could have been the final product. Yeah. That's the glory shot. They go right. They, yeah, they can't be compared to the girl. I, not bubble wrap. Hang on. Hang on. I'm going to sit. Yeah. No, he'll, don't eat those peanuts. Those are styrofoam. These, these are filling. Yeah. No, because they're styrofoam. They're toxic. It's like a rice cake, but not as delicious. But my god, there's so much of it. Yeah. Those are not meant to be consumed here. And this is going to come out. I'm going to look like the winter warlock making snowballs when these come out. Yeah. And it's going to be Christmas in July at Camp Houser. Okay, you know what? That's right. Bert, let's get you some more snacks. Let's get some more snacks. I'm just going to my office and kind of decompress. I'm going to do the thing where I go in the office. And I put a towel over my eyes and lean back like I did in the 70s. You know, the boss was frustrated. The guy does look like he's about to go, yeah, we, uh, we make a recycled cardboard. Hey, you're not going to kill me, right? Well, fuel is imposing. He always big waffle stomper boots. And if you ever notice, he will blocks the entrance and exit of every building. He's got me possessions, positions himself. And it's such a manner where you can tell the person's thinking about making a move. It's a weird thing. It's funny. God rest his soul. Jimmy's, Jimmy's Uncle Frank. Uncle Frank would corral you and corner you at any event and then talk everyone's ear off. And so if you were going to one example, Jimmy Easter at Jimmy's place, Uncle Frank decided that Jimmy needed to be the new mayor of Hollywood now that Sam York or whatever, whatever's name is guy, whatever the guy. You don't do anything you preside over all the failings. The guy that lived in the Roosevelt. Right. There's a, there's a piece of cloth, a beach towel on an evil, unveil the walk of fame star, whatever it's, it's not really a job. But think your head. Frank wanted Jimmy to have this job. And Jimmy would say to Frank, I got enough on my plate. I don't need to be the honoreering mayor of what is his name? Jimmy, Jimmy, he had a name short. He was, he looked the part. It was perfect. He's just there for a million years. And skip, skip you love. No, but he didn't look like skip you. He had the hair. He had the silver hair and everything. And he would say, so Uncle Frank, I started noticing he had this thing. When he talked to anybody, he clamped their upper arm with his big clove or right hand. And he just, it's only just looking and he'd feel his hand clamping on your shoulder. And I realized this is born of necessity. He had so many people go, oh, my wife's at the brochure salad. Frank, I got to go, we'll talk about this later. You know, slide out that he started realizing I never get to finish a conversation. So just out of, I don't think he thought about it. He's just like a reflex just clamp on. He's start talking, but I realized, why is his hand clamped on my upper arm? And he'll dust that with his body movement. He gets in front of the thing that says exit because he knows everyone wants to hell out. And he just stand there. There's a big imposing ass. And the people kind of go, I guess we're going to finish this one. What is his name? Mayor of Hollywood. Is that? I'll look at that. Yeah, but I don't know if there is a real mayor. He lived in the Roosevelt Hotel. This should take 11 seconds. Yeah. Peter Bobber. No, no. Peter Bobber. You, you, you Google in mayor of Joey Grant, Johnny Grant, Johnny Grant, Johnny Grant, John Grant, way right up right up on what's wrong with you or Google that that what I literally googled mayor of Hollywood and Peter Bobber is the first name of the public. Yeah, but, but as of 2009, like Bob, Johnny Grant was the mayor for 31 years or something. That's the question mark after I've Peter Bobber. Yeah. Well, what's the next thing? When you do it, what is it? What does it say? Mayor of Hollywood. We could be to then Johnny Grant next. Yeah, but it will be the guy who died. Not the guy. Johnny Grant. Johnny Grant. Johnny Grant. All right. Dana Gould. Dana Gould's got a McFly man's going to Denver, everybody. It's a mile high city. I don't know how, how much often, how much above ocean level that is. All right, does Adam Cooler show 2266 from 2018. Come to next we have Adam Cooler show 1290 featuring Andy Summers, Rob Giles, Alex Baldwin, Matt G, Alson Rosen, Brian Bishop, in 2014. Check it out. What is so fast on Pluto TV stream now, pay never. Oh, Riley auto parts. Yeah, man. Oh, Riley, love these guys. Going to get into it with O'Reilly because I got a car race coming up at about six or seven weeks since time for prep. You want to keep your car in the road? You do it with O'Reilly. There's not many issues. I can't figure out, but if I can't always go to O'Reilly. They've got thousands of parts in stock, either in store or online. So you never worry if you're in a jam. They'll also test your battery for free. And if it needs to be replaced, they'll help you find the right one, whether your car, a fish, you know, or an auto novice, you'll see the employees that O'Reilly auto parts are helpful and friendly. O'Reilly is your one stop shop for all things auto do it yourself. It's O'Reilly, right Dawson? Stop by O'Reilly auto parts today or visit us at O'ReillyAuto.com/atom. That's O'ReillyAuto.com/atom. Good day, Allison Rosen. Hello, Adam Crow. I have pretty severe cramps. Really? I feel like I have my period more often than I don't. I'm just extremely menstrual. It feels that way to almost everyone in your sphere as well. I, uh, good day, ball brine. Bruised lips. And Carson Berger's one of that. For as good as a drop that is, doesn't get played enough with the hashtag #topdrop. I'm trying to mix it up. Matt, actually here from Rotten Tomatoes. Yeah, the, uh, this whole, the between the cramping and the actual event and the prenatal, like I said, my mom is always incapacitated because she either has a cold, just got over a cold or feels something coming on. I feel like, uh, the reproductive system with a lot of women is like painting the golden gate bridge. Right. As soon as they're finished, they've got to restart using a maxi pad and literally applying the paint. Now, yes, it's just like when you get to the end, it's back to the other. Yes, that's how it is beginning to feel. Now, is this ever happened with a male because this is happened with me and it's a huge mistake and it should never be gotten into by, um, it, it, it, it heads up for everybody listening. Once in a blue moon, a woman, a much like, uh, that happens, I don't know, somewhere in the middle act to any werewolf movie where they say to the person, I know what I am. Stop me. Stop me. This is my curse. This is my curse. Now, when this happens, I'm going to do some things. I could hurt some people. Don't lock me in a room and do not throw away the key. And I don't care how much I beg. Right. Whatever it is, I will become this person. So, and then the person starts becoming that werewolf. And you're like, okay, now we talked about this and they're like, I'm going to, I'm going to chew through your throat. You're like, up, we talked about. Now, remember, we talked about it. They don't remember. It doesn't make a difference. It's exactly how they're feeling at the time. It's, uh, you know, sort of that thing like, you know, if you say to a kid, you know, bring a snack, a long car ride and they go, no, no, I'm full. I'm finding you go, look, you're going to get hungry. I'm not going to pull over. So you either bring the snack and they go, I'm fine. Then smash cut to them, going to pull over. I'm starving and you go, we told you, I've had that thing with chicks. Right. Now you told me that this is what would happen. It does not work. No, it only works in retrospectly. A couple days later, I'll say to Daniel, Oh, remember when I was a total bitch and couldn't stop crying. I figured out why we have a caller online one that says he's Alec Baldwin. Alec? How are you, man? Long time no speak away. It's Alec Baldwin. How are you, Alec? Well, I have a question. I'm calling you. You're always good for this kind of thing. I've had the entire internet shoved up my ass the last few months or so. I think I could take for that. What do you recommend? Barium and a huge pot of coffee to wash it down with. Go for the mint flavor on the barium. Yes. I know the internet is always trying to force things up your rectum. What is the latest one, Alec? I mean, we are in the end, who cares? Do you care? Do you care what people, that's a good question? Do you care what they say about you on the internet? You know what I do? I try to avoid the situation that's going to get me to care. So people tweet me things all day long saying so and so is talking shit about you. You've got to check it out. Don't click on that because eventually you can get yourself to care. But you never care. You sidestep the caring all the time. It's basically if you want to the back of the factory where they make the hot dogs, you could never enjoy another hot dog. And if you cruise the internet looking for every time somebody called Alec Baldwin or Adam Corolla douchebag, you'd probably be a basket case. And your computer would probably catch on fire. But where? Yes. Go ahead, I'm sorry. Well, I'm curious because I've been following your plight, so to speak, from a little bit of a distance. And I think you suffer from being a little bit too intelligent and unfurl. That's debatable. No, I think people understand that your intelligence is sort of. of a double-edged sword and it's and it's a sword that you can turn on yourself on on occasion. But you can fall on. Yes, it's a sword. That's my daughter screaming in the background. What is it, honey? You don't like, you know, if you're talking to Adam, my daughter puts me in the background. Seven month old daughter screaming in the background. Now, let me put it this way. I mean, to me, there was a there was a a way that media, you know, whether it was writers or, you know, now we have bloggers, which we didn't have years ago, television, radio, so forth. But writers, they the commentary part of it was minimal. It was like a band to one side and there was news and facts. Right. So for the now, it seems to be flipped. Now everything seems to be analysis and interpretation. You know, you say this and this is what you really meant. Right. And they're out and they're out to tear away whatever veil of public relations, manicuring, you're doing and manufacturing, you're doing it now, all of the journals, all of it, from one end to the other, my daughter screaming, it's so funny that you scream, you know. I'm out here on the air now. Now, from one end to the other top to bottom, it's all just opinion and analysis and interpretation. Well, you know, I've always said this. We're living in a time when you can be labeled an arsonist without ever striking a match. And you can be called homophobic, you can be called the xenophobic, you can be called misogynistic, you may call in labels, everything, you may call everything without actual, without any actions, you're not even in that zip code. Yeah, you used to have to be able to earn it like, you know, if you were a racist, you'd have to burn down a church or two or go hit a synagogue and, you know, carve something up into a, into a pew. Now you just are, and that's it, and to add to that is, because certainly there are things I've done and said that you could say, well, I was in that zip code, you know, it wasn't that I was that far away, but what I think I'm getting from what you're saying is, if you attack someone and you say, I don't think someone's very good at what they do, or I don't think that they make sense logically, or I think that they're dull or they're boring or they're not talented, then that gets transferred into your homophobic or your racist or your sexist. Yes. What you're saying has nothing to do with sexual identity or race or religion or gender, but if I say Bob's so-and-so is untalented, and that person happens to be gay, the first force to come out of that community is your homophobic. Right, and what it's going to do is sort of shut down dialogue, but it's also going to take- Exactly. Exactly. It's true, nullifying. Yeah, it's just a nullifier. But it's also going to stop any kind of dialogue. I mean, I don't know if you must experience this, but every interview I do now, somebody's out fishing for a story, you know? So you're just talking about my podcast or my TV show and then they go, "What do you think of Lena Dunham? You think she's funny?" And you go, "Yeah, I think she's funny. Funny, haha, just sort of funny, funny, funny-looking. How do you think she do? She hosts it a late night show and you go, "What's this have to do with what we're talking about?" And you realize they want me to go, "Oh, fuck that cut. She's not funny at all." And in which case they go, "Adam Corolla calls Lena Dunham a cut and that's what they're trolling." And that's fine. You give interviews, they troll, right? Well, I mean, I, you know, I, I'm calling you because you like Howard and you get two or three other people, you can have a conversation and it's not, you know, edited in any way. But I mean, those kinds of standard interviews for people can then go and edit them and and assess me in their way. I don't do those anymore. I mean, I would never do one of those again as long as I live. What I find, what I find is it, it's a people now, it's if you never engage in that again, if you never did any of these shows again, hold on once again. Okay. Sounds like he's acting for a little Mr. Brightside. Can you brighten up his day? Oh, try. I'm like, I want to find out where Alex and with the business, because you're in the industry. Yeah. If you never did any of that stuff again, I mean, we can all think of, do we call you that inconvenience time, like, if you never, my, my friends just go, all right, if you never did those again, like, um, uh, you're getting it inside into my life. You're in a dog's barking baby's crying, um, quiet. Hey, uh, can I say this while you're, while you're figuring out your life over there? Well, I'm dog, well, I'm dog rattling. Yes. In my new book, President, me, which is not out yet, I suggest that we should switch from the color coded, uh, safety, danger, terrorist threat system, arbitrary colors. To a Baldwin brother system, we're starting with you at the top. Yeah. I'm not sure where Daniel is. I'd have to read the manuscript, but I, let it be known that I wanted to switch to a Baldwin alert system. There's just enough of you. And I figure there's enough separation between all you that this will solve a lot of problems and be very clear in the minds and hearts of many Americans, which one is the country's in the most trouble, which one is we all need to run and get in the bunker, which one I it could be Daniel, but, but I was that okay? Yeah. I don't want to add you, you do, you, you'll be you, man, let's fly, do whatever you want to. Okay. But, so Al, can I ask you this? But what I was going to say is if you never did any of that stuff again, like people we know, I mean, all these legendary examples, Pacino and Nichol Seng and Daniel Daniel Lewis and people who like, you know, they're just not going to bother with that, man. Right. And people don't understand is you're doing a, you're in a business and people come to you when they say, would you do this television show? Would you do the today show? Right. Would you do a Kelly Whip the show? Would you do this? And they press you like, Hey, man, you've got to be a team player. You've got to help sell tickets. Sure. You're right. You got to go out on a tour. Yeah. You got to get out. You got to sell. You don't. This is a negative like that's a cast and you don't participate in the, in the promotion of the project. Sure. And for the promotion of the project, you wouldn't get anywhere near most of that. Yeah. There are people, but there are people who don't do it at all, they just say, I really don't care. Right. And the thing is what difference does it make? What you realize is promotion and media and things you participate in for the project, it doesn't make any difference. I make no difference. No, I agree. I probably think we probably talk about Daniel Day Lewis more because he's not accessible than a guy who works the only way he's going to act as soon as you have to go buy a ticket in the theater and go see him. Right. So why do you do promotion than Adam? Well, unfortunately, I'm not a good actor like Daniel Day Lewis. Yeah. Well, Alex is saying is predicated on having talent. Right. You're really certified fresh. But also, I'm involved in a daily events, live shows, tickets, books, you know, things that is my life. I wish I had his life, I think, although I hope he's miserable, but Alec, no, he's not. Oh, he's not. He's happy. He must be. He must be. Alec, can I pick your brain for a second, ask you a question, too? I'm going to go take my kid and put my kid to school, with one more. I want to say hi to you, man. I miss seeing you. I miss talking to you on Twitter that you're on there. I do, too. I think your radio show. I miss you. I love you, too. When are you going to be in LA next? I'm coming there for the Turner Classic movie film festival at the man Chinese from the 10th through the 14th, but either for those days, you want to try to get together? I would love to, Alec. Okay, man. All right. So do me a favor. You've got my Twitter. Yeah. Or you got my email? Yeah. We'll work here. Email me and let me know how that contact people try to set that up. Let's have a beer, Alec. I'm going to make all your troubles go away. Oh, please. It'll be so great. Okay. Can I ask you one quick question for you? 10 to your kids and dogs and all that kind of stuff? Yeah. I feel like you have the talent and you're at that level where you don't need the business, the business needs you. You can go Daniel Day Lewis if you want. You can play by your own terms. And there's a part of you that wants to enter the fray. Why? Why enter the fray? Do what you want to do. Do it on your own terms. There's only a few guys who can do it. You happen to be one of them. Well, I think the thing for me is that all of it, since I got married again and I have a family, none that really matters to me at all anymore. The only thing that matters to me is my family. I mean, if you literally said to me tomorrow that the that the way I could have a guarantee, I mean these are all hypotheticals and they're all these silly constructs, but if you came to me tomorrow and said the only path, the only door you could choose that would give you the best guarantee that you'd stay happy with your wife and your family was to host jeopardy. I'd sign up to host jeopardy for 20 years tomorrow. I would watch that, but only if you did it as Charles Nelson Riley. All right Alec, we'll talk and we'll hook up and you're out here. Please, thank you. It's great Alec Baldwin, but I think he's on his chest. And she'd have a beer with him on this show when he comes out. Clearly he wants to be a guest. I also want to thank him for the drought that he provided us with, which I'll be using quite often. It did sound like a Newspaper man from the 40s. Quiet. Okay guys, now listen here. Get that story, see. Quiet. Quiet. Quiet, boys. Quiet. Quiet. Now who's going to get the scoop? Quiet. All right, all right, well, we did not expect Baldwin to call in. And by the way, here's how you know it's Baldwin. As I always say, he's not doing Alec Baldwin. Right. Guys who call in as Mike Tyson are doing Mike, they say, intuitively and things like that. Mike Tyson doesn't sound like that. They're not trying. They can hear no effort in his voice. If you had picked up the phone with Baldwin and said, hello, is this not like Baldwin? It takes brass balls to someone doing their all right, right? Right, right. And there wouldn't have been the kid in the room or somebody knocking on the door, whatever, whatever. I want to help these for clothes, his own walk any walk in his, it's not a matter of tone. It's a matter of relaxation. They're not pushing to do, yeah, when people do an impersonation of somebody, they push that out there versus it's letting it sort of slide out and they're doing the performing version of that person, they're doing the casual. Yeah. I do. I love Baldwin. I feel bad for Baldwin. I feel like there's a lot of people who goes, well, you know, he gets himself into his own shit, I, I feel like he is at, he's at a point where he's, there, there's a, there's a weird kind of zone to live in. When you're sort of ignorant, it's blissful. When you get to, I don't know, Daniel Day Lewis, maybe you just close out the entire world and sleep on a magnetic mattress that has a low grade, you know, hum to it. And you don't even, like, like we could say to Daniel Day Lewis, you know, hey, man, did you hear O'Reilly talking shit about you on Fox and he'd go, there's an animal that has a news channel and you go, no, on Fox, Fox and they go, Fox, like what we, they used to hunt back in England and you go, no, it's O'Reilly. I don't, is he a, is he a happy, go lucky Irishman, like, like, like the Irishman I'm supposed to know. You know that part where they, they literally have not heard of Justin Bieber is just go, I don't know who that is and you go, God, how blissful. So you can either be the super stupid person that has the bedazzle Justin Bieber shirt or that person that's on that completely different level, which is literally never heard of anything, but then there's Baldwin. And he's like hovering next to that upper level, but he still hears all of it. And he's got an unplugged, he's got a, I'll tell you it, like, and I'm sure you go through this too. Like the minute some controversy comes up, like you just got to shut it all down. Yeah. But it's, it's the problem is like the internet's 24/7 and it's millions of people and once collectively the group of people get a bit in their teeth, like they just don't shut up about it. And I know, it seems like I like that is the type of guy who, you know, kind of likes to argue, but you can't argue with anyone about anything on the internet, like that way lies madness. Right. All right. Speaking of madness, we're going to play a little Rotten Tomatoes game with the Madagascar. All right. Right now. Well, I'll tell you what, let me give it a love to a personal capital. You get the theme song queued up if you please, free and secure. That's what I love about personal capital, man. You want to, your hardworking guy, you got your stocks, you got 401K, you got all the accounts. Oh, I spread out all over the place with the different passwords and whatnot. Personal capital puts it all on to your computer and it's just the most fantastic website you've ever seen. Very fantastic. Good. I just mean it's fantastic. Like you look at me. Whoo. Who comes up with this stuff? Puts all your accounts, all your assets, one screen, and your phone, your tablet as well, and tells you if you're overpaying and how to reduce that, how to manage your money. Why wait? Let's sign up. Takes minutes. Personal capital gives you total clarity and transparency and transparency. I think I made up a word. Make better investment decisions now. You said, be free account, go to personalcapital.com/Adam. Personal capital is free. It's smart. It's a way to grow your money. It's personalcapital.com/Adam, just check it out in Marvel. Now, theme song. The first shame rocked a movie game. Now it's time I really hope it isn't lame. Leave us go, I totally can't hear this note. I can't force it all anymore, any more, it hurts my balls, hurts my balls. Archie, he names the flicks of the gang mixed with smart Archie, he's a shrubby guy and when he dropped by, the gang has no guess to the credit scores taken, rotten or fresh, Archie. All right, one of my favorite games to play. He's not that shrubby. Look at him. There's a lot of gone, he's done nicely, he's nancy. Sorry. I'll have to start dressing up more, or dressing down so I can earn my show. Then you're stuck with Reva's on set. Exactly. I should know. All right, so this week Arnold Schwarzenegger has a new movie in theaters called Sabotage. So we're going to do Arnold Schwarzenegger movies. All right, we're going to write our number down for the average Rotten Tomato critic and whoever has the lowest number after we combine the scores wins. Here we go. All right, first up, Arnold plays the head of a military special forces unit that comes across, bloodthirsty alien in predator. All right, oh, look, we got our numbers up there now. I got to say I like this movie, I loved the favorite scene to me, not any of the action scenes. He shook hands, sole brother style with Karl Weathers and both arms were greased up and muscles were just popping out of every orifice and he's like, I see you've let yourself go. And it's like pushing to my pencils, yeah, it's like, yeah, Karl looks like he's bringing decent shape to me, uh, good movie. I don't feel like the critics would be totally in love with it, but definitely one of those like movies that have those great times like Jesse Ventura going on and get time to bleed. And whenever a guy pulls a gatling gun off, something is just firing it like a pistol. I'm going to go with 68% if it's any lower than that all is wrong with the universe. This movie delivers. This is a really good movie. John McTernan directed. John McTernan, yes. Shane Black, the director of Iron Man 3 and other movies is an actor and it is before he's directing. It's a really interesting cast. It delivers 71% 65 certified fresh 78% all right, so we shouldn't just because it's just because it's not just because it's an action genre doesn't mean that critics are going to cramp on it. All right. Here we go. All right. Another movie that the two former governors were in together. This one is The Running Man. Okay, now everyone's got to write their answer down, not accusing anyone of anything, but it will lock them in because otherwise it just becomes a you getting in between or going under. All right, shitty movie, Richard Dawson at his best, Schwarzenegger and I, this one was bad. I'm going to go 42%. Oh, I may have been a mistake. Oh, it's 60. Someone is a little kid and I loved it. Yeah, it could. It's not considered a good movie. I tend to confuse this one with another piece of shit lawnmower man 58 This is a totally different movie than lawnmower man. I know 61 percent. Oh Bald Bryan. Wow Why would they think running man was that good? All right? Well, that definitely threw me off. All right. Here we go. All right Next up He takes on Michael Ironside and Roddy Cox in total recall 1990 director by Paul Virhoven again Good movie fun movie. Just don't know what the critics thought of it. That's sure they what they were feeling about Schwarzenegger at the time. All right, everyone locked in. Mm-hmm. I'm going to go 79 percent. I'm going high I'm very close. This is a great movie. I think the violence turns the people off 82 percent 94 Certified fresh 84 percent. Oh Wow, Brian's really a rolling and Jesus Christ All right, here we go. We shouldn't have the thing up there because I can see the movies beforehand. I had time to think about them. Oh Why didn't I look forward? It does come as a surprise the school Uh-huh, uh-huh. Here we have a graphic this time. I listen points for trying but don't put the names of the movies up there I think was it. All right. Here we go I don't know. You guys didn't see it a big. Okay, here we go. We're not wired. We're not wired to win No, just don't want it bad enough. Very disturbing. We don't even see that wire depotium. All right, so a couple weeks ago I brought up in time travel movies. I brought up Terminator this time. We're gonna go with the sequel Terminator 2 Judgment Day Terminator 2 Judgment Day. When did that come out 1991? All right. I like this movie a lot I thought it was a great sequel in a way there were parts about it that were even smarter up the part where he got the Terminator It was the outdated Terminator to enlist and to fight him. I like that a lot. I'm going 89% in my humble opinion the best sequel ever made 96% 78 Certified fresh 92% All right, now we go into the 89 or something the last round. I was 89 All right, but I'm still too far off. I had one big bad bump in the middle there. Here we go. All right last one Another movie with James Cameron is director 1994 true lies Lot of good time Arnold humor in this movie There were a lot of laughs in this movie provided by one time Arnold All right, everyone marked in. I am I am way behind so I'm gonna have to go with something bold and high. I'm gonna go with 96% It wouldn't it probably even higher than that. I want with 93 and I said 85 72 Allyson may have just locked that in. I don't think I did, but I should have gone low It's a great movie 72% whoever wins the last one wins, right? No Oh, this was on the heels of the last or the hero the last action hero. Yeah, that was a big bomb Well, the other problem too is the middle of this movie a lot of critics think gets a really misogynistic All right, Brian 30 Yeah, there's numbers in front of me Brian one of 35. Allyson Oh, he's from allyson lands 53 in the middle and me 61 dead last but again a podium finish. I always come in second except when I come in third All right, too much better than 72% that's a great movie 71 Whatever it was that's Okay, I don't agree with it much better than 72 all done just get out of here for the fact He jumps on a horse takes a horse up an elevator and then jumps the horse or attempts to jump the horse For one roof to another. I mean, oh, no more down down. That's horse parkour. There is a John Hyatt song In true lies. That's how goddamn good this film is game over. Yeah, all right. I stand corrected Yeah, all adjust the score that song where Jamie Lee is doing the strip T's for her for her John For her or John. Yeah, that's a John Hyatt talk. That's that's actually Paxton's hilarious. Oh, he's great. The Corvette sales drives the Corvette sells the car But they search bleeding for his life. Oh, Jesus bands. Oh, get it together. Come on. I actually get your people together. All right. I will Yeah, 100% Oh Right. Oh, let's see. I got And he simmers out there in Rob jiles. They're going to come in in a couple of few Uh, oh, we got a little Patent troll song that somebody sent in tonight and you'll be with us Also, Jimmy Kimmel, Dr. Drew and Kevin and beam mark mayor and all the raise money Doug Benson for this old patent troll legal defense fund and you can You can go to fund anything.com/pantroll gives hand if you can it'll help save podcasting. That's all. All right. Uh, somebody sent it a song Well, let's hear it Trying to fight pantrolls for those who don't know what pantrolls are Skies and collaborations they buy pens I'm not sure why they're coming after us. We don't have a whole lot to do with this, but litigation on this level is loosely based on you don't want to go through this do you? This is my MacArthur Park. Do you? Of extortion Fight the patent trolls All right, I think you get it unless you need to hear more of me can be hard for our next guest to come in after that his poor confused bandmates What are we singing about again? The scourge of patent rolls. Yeah, you know like all those guys from the 70s used to say. It's right. You know, it's a classic You know, it's a protest song. I'm a Patent troll man. You know Hey Mr. Patent troll man. That's right All right, that was Bill Keck on Twitter and we want to thank uh, thanks bill for that Couple of phone calls up there and we'll bring a ending company in in a couple of few. Uh, let's see wants to know Radio station I'm going line fours kind of going molly line fours. Good. All right. Let's see Hey, John Yep, what's going on? Not much just want to get your thoughts on how to win over a radio host while you're interning So they'll keep you around without becoming annoying Mm-hmm Um I don't I don't feel like It's really hard to be annoying when you're just trying hard and doing Doing everything you can possibly do or thinking about things in advance or being courteous or you know Putting on a fresh pot of coffee or whatever it is. I don't think you can Ever overdo that if you're an asshole So all right in movies they depict bosses as guys who when In movies when the boss man is like talking on the phone and they're Assistant does a thing where they go. Oh, you're let me fix your collar and they reach over and they start to straighten their collar out because one of their collar tabs is pulled up and hanging out of their suit jacket Davanie Coleman in the movie slaps their hold on get get get get get out of here. Sorry anyway Stupid hummingbird buzzing around me all the time and let's talk about that deal in real life most bosses go. Thank you Like I appreciate that so there's a kind of a Hollywood version of O'Bosses are bothered when you say looking good or would you like some coffee or Are bothered by people anticipating their needs and trying to help that yeah like if you literally said to your boss Uh the guy pulled up and you went car looks like it could use a little wipe down I got some quick detail in a rag. I don't mind giving it a run through That's kind of stuff that wouldn't be like oh please mind your own business. I'd be like oh hey great. Yeah. Thanks, you know There's a lot of that and it goes a long way You can start one can certainly be to eager though and I was probably guilty of that when I was a young chubby call screener I mean you want to you want to impress or you want to but you actually got ahead It I had to wear I had to wear off the new car smell there was on me for a while like it was I was semen That was not what it was but I was probably too eager and I probably think that there's a why why didn't you do wrong what who did what? Well, this is a bad example, but I know I inferior give us a fine example I know I infuriated Anderson with my go get him attitude now. He's not a good case study But I think they work people like him who were like well locked No, hold on everybody worked at love line was like somebody Who'd been in a union for 40 years and didn't want any upstart guy coming in here, making them look bad by getting off their ass. I mean, love line were generally lazy people who had a sort of status quo kind of thing, and that status quo meant, you know, not burning too many calories toward the shelf. But all companies settle into that. So if you come in and you try to impress the boss, you are going to sort of earn the higher of the other people around there who are doing the bare minimum. But if you're trying to get ahead, that's just what you have to do. This was a rare example of the people who worked for that company actually having contempt for the people that essentially paid their bills through getting ratings, through having a successful show. I Anderson was not a fan of mine, and I don't think producer Ann was either. And I certainly, a terrible call me Tara, the phone screener, wasn't everybody on that side of the glass, not a big fan of me and what I did. And especially if I ever asked them to do anything, they're in a lesser fan. So you were thrown into a situation where not only, I agree with what Allison says, you don't want some new guy running around, running circles around you making. You look bad. When you settle then, there's a cliche, a new broom sweeps clean. It's the new guy who's working harder, but that especially was a bad situation to get involved with. True. Be doesn't me. I think you can be too eager. So it's possible. It's not. No. It's impossible to be too eager, but that's probably not going to be the problem. Right. I've never let anyone go because they were too eager. I've let people go because they're fucking lazy and they didn't set up and they weren't around. And it's always the opposite of eager. Eager can be dialed down. Eager is like cold. You can put a sweater on. Hot. It's tough. Tough to deal with, you know? I think eager is good. I think eager is good too. I'm a hunter myself from 12 years ago. No, I think it's great what I'm saying is you can dial it down a notch and it does dial in as the nerves and the repetition settles in. So I'll be Johnny on the spot. The boss always knows it and appreciates it. All right. Yeah. Definitely take advantage of that. Take advantage of opportunities. I've gotten coffee and stuff like that. I may have also booked a guest without asking the host, but it has to work out all right. It was David Wilde. Watch the, you got to, you do, I'll tell you one thing about show business. You watch the stepping on the toes of people who have jobs. Eager's one thing, but if it's someone else's job to get the boss as coffee, you can't knock that guy out of the way, grab the coffee and hand it to the boss. That guy's going to get pissed and when it comes to bookings, there's a guy who does bookings and sometimes he doesn't like it when you're booking around him. Now, you can certainly have a conversation with that guy and go, hey, I have an inside line on David Wilde and then he'll say, who's David Wilde and then he'll go, he appears prominently on Adam Corolla's podcast and then he'll say, who's Adam Corolla and what's a podcast? And then at a certain point, you can have a conversation after you go to IMDB. A lot of explaining. And Wikipedia. A certain way to get to a conversation. That's right. That's really valuable advice, too. You definitely do have to be mindful of the infrastructure there. Right. There's 26 Detroit, you want to know why Lynette and I broke up for a year. Yeah, I've heard it mentioned, I think on York Show and Allison was interviewing Lynette on her podcast. I was just curious as to, you know, the situation surrounding that and then what made you, I guess, want to go back to her. I mean, that's the case. Obviously, if you're really married and what made her take you back and just, I've heard a bunch of the couple of times and I was curious to know. I had never been single and successful. I'd only been single and a loser. I'd been single and drove, beat up pickup trucks and had apartments with five roommates and had super unglamorous jobs. This is a horrible pickup line. And for guys, it's miserable, women, not totally different situation. I wanted to be single and successful. I didn't know for how long or for forever, but I was doing multiple TV shows. I was doing radio shows. I was making good money. I finally was driving something without a lumber rack and a bed box on it. And I never experienced just being single and successful dating people, having people come up to me. You know, this that whole, it was always like such a such a drudgery going to a date, going to a bar. You know, it was like, that's all I wanted. I was just, I felt like a guy who all I'd done was work my whole life and never been successful and single. And that's, and I, it just, there was a part of me that realized I needed to do this before I got married. And, and even if that meant losing Lynette forever, it still wouldn't, our marriage wouldn't have worked. We wouldn't be going on between year 10 and 13 now if we didn't have that kind of bond, that kind of love. So that's what I knew as far as she went, I think she loved me and I think she was willing to wait for me. And I'm, you know, blessed and happy that she did. But you know, that's why when we talk to these people, they go on 24 and I've been with my girls since high school and I just don't know if she's the right one and there's a girl I work with and I'm really attracted to her, but there's nothing on the other side of that hill, but you don't know it. And if you end up marrying that girl, then you end up walking around and I'm like, what about it? What about it? Now, I went out and experienced it and tell you that it was not much a report. So then I came back from a tale between my legs and like I said, now, between one and four kids later and between 10 and 13 years later for bliss, we're, we're very happy. But I needed to get through that and that's my, you know, honest assessment of that. Jamie, 37. Hey, Adam, how are you doing? Good. Hey, Allison. Good luck on the reproduction. Well, well, why thank you. Have my period right now. That's right. Awesome. Me too. Awesome. Awesome. Me too. All right, so I've heard you talk a lot about Molly and all the different health problems that she's having. Oh, she's got two socks in a shirt on now. She's, yeah, it sounds cute and so sad at the same time. I know. She's just covered with cancer and lesions and everything else. Yeah. So when she, when she passes on to the big field in the sky, are you gonna get another dog or are you done with pets or what? No, I, you know, look, if I knew Molly was going to cost me $61,000, I may not have shipped her over from Chicago. I love dogs. I've always loved dogs. I grew up with miserable parents who wouldn't have dogs. I wanted a dog. I never got a dog. I love Molly. And I want my kids to grow up in a house with a dog. I, you know, it's, it's a very, it's, it's, it's, it's an unspoken thing. But, you know, everyone talks about hold on. Now I'm fired up. You know, people talk about this shit all the time, and they go like, well, you grow up in a big house, you go to private school, you have big swimming pools, you grow up in the hills, you have family, have celebrity friends, you go to big parties, you go to why. Most everything in terms of a childhood, and certainly with a young boy's life and a young girl's life as well, could be solved with basically a rope swing, a basketball hoop and a dog. I mean, we're pretty simply wired. My kids are seven. My son loves this basketball hoop. My daughter loves her dog, and they both enjoy the hoop and the dog. I wish I could throw that fucking dog through the hoop and save some money because that things cost me a fortune. But the point is, you go back and you look back on your life and you go, oh, yeah, I grew up. You know, here these people all the time and their dog. Yeah, I was in Bowser, it was cool, it was a mutton, it was so sweet, and you're sleeping in my bed with me and all that kind of stuff, and then this is an inevitable super sad story when Bowser, you know, had we put asleep and all that kind of stuff, but it's a simple thing. Like me and my dad, we used to sit out in front of the garage and we just shoot hoops, you know, and we play horse, you know, it's like the kids don't need the super exotic. Oh, we went to Mowing, we went on a helicopter over a volcano. I mean, kids never released, those kids are pissed at their parents. The exotic, they didn't have a dog, ski vacations are sort of not the one, it's those moments when you and dad sat and shot hoop and the summer when the days were longing to go out in the backyard and the dog would come running out there. The dog in the basketball hoop and maybe a tire swing could probably cover about 90% of a child's happiness from age three to age, you know, 13. What about bikes? Yeah, bikes as well, just a chicken shit stuff, just a stuff that doesn't cost much, just stuff you can get second hand, the stuff you don't need a big house. You get on your bike and go down the street on it, you know, those are the kind of memories you accumulate. This is about enriching the home life. Yeah, without the rich part. You know, just a dog focusing on, yeah. Yeah, some, you know, my doggy, just having a dog. I'm a kid, you grew up with a dog in the house. I did not have that. It was a direct correlation between my parents being cheap and miserable and not wanting to burn a calorie for themselves or anybody else or any gods creatures. I love them dearly, don't get me wrong. What I'm saying is, when Molly, I'm glad they've had Molly from zero to now and when Molly passes away, I would like them to have another dog to enjoy. And when they're 35 and they're talking about their family and thinking about getting a dog, I want this to factor in. All right. I didn't know Molly was from Chicago. Yeah, you're the accent when she barks. Yeah, you know, we call the shiitown hustler, you know? No, she lived in a house in Chicago and I-- I do find her. Some relative of Lynette, it didn't feel like she was being locked up in the pantry all day long and not doing anyone any good and they wanted to get rid of her. And I think I've talked about the fact that she used to run into the lake over there all the time. I could never get her into the swimming pool and that was something that was very vexing to me. 'Cause it was-- She was touted as a water dog, a lake dog. She's a lab. Anyway, yes, there shall be new dogs. Wow. All right. Rotten Tomatoes.com is where you go. That is the website. Matchity is the Twitter handle. That's correct. All right. Quick break. Andy Summers, Rob Giles next. [MUSIC PLAYING] Andy Summers, Rob Giles, both here. Circus Hero is the debut album. It is out as we speak. It's available on Amazon as well. Good to see you guys. Great to meet you. Good to be here. I also know that Andy, you got a documentary that I've not seen about a police called the Kinsan losing you, life after police. How do we find that? Because that sounds-- I'm already interested. Yeah. I think it's available on DVD in Holland. And I know it's been out in Japan. But it's actually going to go, I believe, on theatrical release in July in the US. It's really good. Like Stewart did a documentary and it was not as good. It was really good. Yeah. This is a good one. This is really, really good. Why did the police get to go? Because Stewart's not English, is he? No, he was sort of educated in England if we have education there. I think you do. At least you sound good. Yeah, I've got that accent. You know, quick take. We were all in London, obviously. Or that-- no, that's not true. Because Sting was in Newcastle in the Northeast of England. And Stewart was in a band called Curve Dare. And then the punk scene hit, and then the Stewart realized the truth that, in fact, he really was a punk despite his posse education. Actually, it's a good story. Because all three of us actually met in Newcastle. I was up there playing something called Tubular Bells, which was a huge number one for two years straight. I think, yeah. And I was a guitarist. I played with the orchestra. The support band that night was a group called Last Exit. Sting was the bass player. Two weeks later, I went back to do another gig, and ended up in a hotel with another rock band, Curve Dare. And he was in the band, but Stewart, we ended up in a room smoking a load of dope together. And he was this young American who just couldn't start talking. And it was Stewart Copeland. We all kind of met. And in three months later, I got the call to go and jam with these two guys. It was Stewart Sting. The-- I worked part-time for A&M Records, setting up the video at the Cyclorama on the sound stage when you guys were filming more than one year, wrap around your finger, I think. I believe I set up about 200 Christmas tree stands with black dowels coming off them and the candles that were stopped-- This is destiny. On top, I said, one day, 30 years later-- Good job, man. Good job. Yeah, yeah, that's incredible. Yeah, do you remember that sound stage early? Absolutely. Yeah, I remember the shoot, the whole deal. Yeah, they were-- it was this thing called a Cyclorama. It's-- I don't even know. Now, I think they just hang a green screen everywhere. But it's basically a wall with no angles. Nothing ever meets the ground. It's a big skateboard ramp that never ends. Yeah. And they paint the sky on there, or they paint it black. And when you stand in front of it, you just go on forever. And after you guys were done, I had to stay behind and paint it because they were doing sole train the following day. And they needed taking care of it. I remember that. And it was Sting knocking all the candles down. Sorry about that. No, I was like, what the fuck? Have you been working around the whole day? Come on. Yeah. So the story, and now Andy, I mean, Rob, how do you work and how do you meet up with Andy and how does this relationship begin? Well, I've been playing all over LA for a while. And Andy became a fan of one of the bands I was in called The Rescue's. And one night, he was at, I think, the Trubidor. And he's clearly a rock star. He was wearing like Prada pajamas, you know what I'm saying? And like, just so cool. And I was like, I don't even want to talk to him. He's too cool. But we did end up kind of hitting it off and shooting the shit. And he called one day, I was like, Rob, Andy, fancy a jam. And I'm like, I don't fucking know if I fancy a jam. I've never gotten the chance to. I've never gotten the chance to be a friend. Fancy anybody's jam. But yeah, so I went to his place as a cool little studio or a big studio in Venice. And you know, I, you know, you're in LA long enough. Like, you know celebrities or successful people, whatever. It's just kind of the-- Oh, not me. I just had Baldwin buzz me up. Right. So, you know, that's pretty cool. That's so cool. He's so cool. But, you know, Andy was really cool. And I was like, I'm going to give you like 10 seconds of me freaking out about being a police fan. And then we're getting to work, you know. And that's really what we did. Well, the police, I mean, were-- it's my favorite era of music, because I always tell people, I always loved like Joe Jackson's "Look Sharp" and "The Man." Right. Graham Parker, "Squeezing Out Sparks" up escalator and all that kind of stuff. And armed forces, Elvis Castello, all that stuff right around 78, 79, Dave Edmonds, and all that, Nick Lowe. And I loved all that stuff. Most of it, I guess all of it was coming out of England, except for maybe the pretenders of the-- I thought they were out of England. Some of them were. I can't remember, but it was just great. But I think the first time I heard Roxanne, I was like, this is different. There's something new about this. It's totally-- it's like kind of the first time I heard Joe Jackson or Elvis Castello. It's like, this is not are you a speed wagon? Yeah, absolutely. This is not Leonard Skinner. This is not what I'm used to hearing. Well, the thing was, you know, the new wave was the term then, but I don't think the police was or ever is a new wave van. They're not a punk van. They're the police. We weren't punk, right? When we came to the States and, you know, start a play at CBG, these, you know, the television and the talking heads and the blondie and they were calling it new wave. And we just suddenly felt much more comfortable because the punk thing was so localized and so anti any sort of musical ability. Yes, it really was. No, I agree. Fears. And we felt we were kind of faking it. And as soon as we got to New York, start a play at CBG, and up the east coast, we felt much better. Yeah, there was a-- I remember, maybe you could find it, Gary, for some reason. I remember walking through Westwood back when they had poster stores. It was going to be fun explaining to my kids two things. There were stores that sold posters and there were theaters that showed pornography and a bunch of dudes would show up. Who didn't know each other and watch it together. That'll be an interesting discussion to have. I'll do them on different days. They become friends after watching the movie? There's a certain-- no, we kind of go our separate ways. Yeah, but we all have a mutual love pornography. So there was a poster, and it just said, new wave on it. Like they used to do. There's a generic whatever. And I think the talking heads were on there and blinding. And maybe Graham Parker was on there. I can't even remember if the police were on there. But there was new wave. Now, you're right, punk. Most of those guys sucked, couldn't play instruments, and sort of in lieu of having any kind of skill or craft, they just poked shit through their nostrils. Yeah, it was all out of the scene, right. But you had been trained classically on the guitar? Yes, in fact, I went to college in California. Yeah, I'd put in some time, and I'd been formally trained as a musician as well as being in rock bands. So when I got into the police, I was fully loaded. It was going, if this one doesn't do it, I'm out. And it did it, thank God. And did it do it quickly? Pretty quickly, you know, about a year. We had a year of like fucking around. Like, oh, is it going to happen? First, Roxanne didn't really happen. Roxanne losing, you made a little bit of noise, but didn't happen. And they lost interest. It was when we came to the States. And, you know, actually, it was Edepus, the DJ playing our Roxanne in heavy rotation in Boston that started it. And then A&M in the US came and saw us. I'm like, wait a minute, these guys are great. We got to release this album in the US. went straight to the top 20. Did, uh, when you met sting, did you realize your hand? is brilliant, different kind of guy there? He was very, you know, kind of an introvert, actually, very quiet guy sort of spoken whisper. It wasn't apparent, you know, he was in the band. He didn't push himself out front. This, what started to happen is we started to rehearse, you know, we go, I'm gonna make something up, you know, we're gonna get a song, you know, what about this, what other like that. He started to bring in these songs. Oh, fuck, that's great. Can't sound losing you. Oh, right. Well, that works. Roxanne, the first time I ever heard my wife reminded me of this last night, the first time I ever heard Roxanne, his wife was away or something and he stayed with me and my wife and my flat in London. We got a bed one night and he's in his room and he was playing Roxanne on a nylon string guitar. Kate turned to me and said, God, that's great. Whatever that is. That's gonna be huge. That's the first time I heard it. So it turned out as we were going along, he started to, you know, like, oh, it's got this thing, you know, and he would come out with something that's now like incredibly world famous. He had this book that was about, you know, two feet tall and wide. He had all these lyrics and he'd been writing songs for years and he would slowly pluck them out of the book and go, what about this? And that's kind of how it started. He was sort of like a reclusive songwriter, but he was suddenly in this new punk band situation and didn't know if they fitted, but he'd bring him out and we go, oh, let's adapt it and off we go, you know. I love so lonely, by the way. So it's been like almost the most popular song. Believe it or not. Really? Just by all the other ones. Play that, people go nuts. I feel and it could be a regional thing. So I can almost hear it now. I don't hear this song enough on the radio. True. I hear rap around your finger enough. Up for this. But I prefer this. And I just, it's such a visceral song or something. And when you're playing the guitar in a song like this, how are you composing it? I mean, you mean the, you know, because she says you're telling you the lyrics and kind of doing it and you're kind of trying to keep up. You know, it's very simple, you know, obviously harmonically. There's not a lot of chords to it or anything. There's enough to make it something. But it's the way I play all the part and change the chords around underneath them, right? In a less conventional way. You know, the way we go from seed away minor, I change it from a lot of the way a lot of people would play it. You know, what can I say? You know, it's the way I do it. And it comes out a bit different, you know, at least I always was very aware of, you know, trying to bring something fresh or different, you know, but as a trio, we didn't sound like the cream. We didn't sound like Jimmy Hendrix. We had our own sound. Right. But were you asking the order of how the, yeah, I was really just killing time. I didn't have a good question. No, I didn't know if, you know, he's got his book, he's writing the lyrics down. He's kind of working on the melody a little bit. But I never know if he goes, do this on your guitar or you just start kind of feeling it as it goes. More feeling it, you know, it's more, no, I know it's said, hey, don't fucking tell me what to plan the guitar, dude, back off. You know, that's more the attitude and the thing. You know, no, we all play our own parts, but then we would start to wrestle about it a bit, you know, Stuart would have a certain feel. So often more that the tension would be between staying in Stuart because the bass player has to play with the drummer. Right. So they'd really have to work out their thing. And I would be more floating on the top. I don't know any thing or police like, you know, stories of fist fights or breakups or acrimony. Was, was there that? Well, it's overemphasized by the press. You know, they go, oh, this band all had each other. It's nothing but acrimony. Well, come on. You know, do you think we could have got as far as we did if it was nothing? We had some great times together, you know, because we started out, no one wanted to know. We had nothing, no money, no future, nothing. You know, we barely got a record deal and then we started to happen. So there was definitely a bond, a real bond and a real camaraderie. We had a lot of laughs, you know, it's not all acrimony. It gets more difficult as you might, the classic curve as you, as you get more and more fake, when you reach the heights that we did, you know, then you're in separate limo, separate hotels, separate rooms. You know, everything's, you know, that wasn't how it started because it started off as, you know, all sleeping in one bed and, you know, saving off money by the petroleum, but get the card of the gig. And most nights we'd push the bloody van back home. That's the way it was. And how is it today? Separate. I have to push the van back. Do the police speak amongst each other? Well, not really, you know, I mean, Stuart lives in LA. So I run into him once in a while, but you know, we're not like calling each other every day. You're okay today, you know, right? It's not happening. You know, we put in a lot of time and we did that massive tour in 2007, 2008, which is like, I think we've done it in this lifetime, you know? Yeah. Oh, is that way, is that the way it feels? Because everyone's, well, a lot of people ask, are you going to do it again? I mean, it's like, you never say never, you don't actually ever shut the door. But I think it would be difficult because we had an incredible tour. There's like really one of the very biggest tours of all time at the perfect time before the risk economic recession set in. How are we ever going to match that except to play, you know, we'd be taking a, you know, a lower stance to ourselves. It doesn't feel that good. Well, I mean, you'll never mean smaller stadiums. Can you imagine? Yeah, I was going to say. Well, I didn't want to be a dick, but you might not match it economically, but, you know, emotionally, you might find something that you enjoy. For me, any chance to get out and play with a great audience? I'm done. Well, by the way, that'll be up on stage with us. And that'll be tonight at, oh, yeah, Don, a beach performing arts center. That's right. You will get that chance to finally get in front of some people, play a song. Yeah, it's going to be such a relief. Obviously it can be some nerves there. But after the first couple of chords, yeah, yeah, it's all just going to kick in. Yeah, that's tonight at 8 p.m. at Redondo Beach. So you come out still a couple of tickets available. All right. So we do some news. You guys hang out crack wise. Let's say what you're like. Annie, are you? So you live in England? No, I live in LA. Oh, you're in LA. Yeah, Rob, you're in LA as well. All right, Allison. Let's do some news. Let's do it. The news with Allison Rosen. She reads some news from her iPad. Sometimes it's good. Sometimes it's bad. It's all of a sudden, all of a sudden. And when it's time to wrap it up, she'll sign it off with Zippie Cook. It's all of a sudden, Allison. You know, Adam, when I heard that you were going to be doing Joe Rogan's podcast today, I expected that you would be stoned for our podcast, but you're not. No, I said, I had too much to do today. Did he respect that? He did. He respected my, he did not respect it for his own long and brain. But for me, he did. Yes, normally we do Joe Rogan's. But I'm too big a lightweight. I can't get. First off, pot is too good now. It's not what it used to be. No, let me tell you how it used to be. Used to be you smoked pot and so on and go. You feel that? Right. I think I do. Do you feel anything? I think I feel something? Maybe I do. Wait a minute. Did I? Do you hold it in? Why? I think I got it. I know. Right. Now, forget it. Everything's got like orange pubes on it that have been dipped in honey. I mean forget it. It's not gonna fucking Harry and Purple and sticky. It's a it's a drug now. It used to just be. You know, right? I don't even know. I mean, seriously, like it went, I think it's safe to say that pot kind of went from a glass of red wine to five shots of yager or maybe my favorite. Like it. Yeah, it's you're in now. It's not that sort of like the mellow out after work with a little now it's you get to call like AK 47. Like they can't be like a nice mellow hot. It was no record. No, no. But I don't understand the people who can be super functioning on that. They can't understand how to function without it. That's how it is. I mean, they literally just go through life that way. It just seems like an extra level of skill because I know that if I'm stoned and I haven't been for years, but I I remember in college, I would try to read something. And I mean, I couldn't I would read the same paragraph over and over and it just didn't go in. I the the day I thought trouble without pot, you know, so that's really okay. That's that for me, the, you know, having the twins, having the mortgage, having the business, getting sued by the patent trolls and all that kind of stuff. It harshed your mouth. It harshest my mouth. Yeah, that's that's a problem. The problems don't melt away. They get amplified. Well, here's some good news. The problems. I throw money at that problem. Who has twins? May. I do. You do. How they what do you got two boys? Okay. They're in their early 20s. Wonderful. Yeah. To people always people. They listen to the show. Oh, they do. They're so excited that I'm on here with you. Should we say hi? I don't want to. Hey, Anton. Hey, Mo. Wow. Quiet. Hold on. You call Antonahomo? That's what I heard. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's the other twig there. Let's go to Maurice. We're going to go to the central. Proclivity's just say hi. Hey, Mom. Listen, God. Yeah, it's West L.A. You know what I'm saying. I guess so. Yeah, that doesn't mean same thing. Like cigarette. Yeah, it's different. So the proposal to extend the goal post five feet has passed. Oh, thank God. NFL.com is calling it the Adam Corolla Rule. Thank you. It'll be my legacy for my twins. The last time I'll ever hear about them, who is that? I've been complaining in real, I mean, American football. We have goal post and the ball keeps sailing over the top of the upright. You can't tell if it's good or not. I've been saying extend it for about a decade. No one has listened and now someone finally has. And it's weird because I usually say five feet would do it. Like I don't see a 20 feet or even 10 feet, three not quite enough. I'd been saying five feet six feet and they've agreed on five feet. Dallas Cabo is coach Jason Garrett said it just made sense and that it passed relatively easily. Thus everything that I say makes sense makes sense. You've changed the world. Yes, history. Yes, one extra point at a time. Do you think in the room when they were taking the vote or wherever this vote takes place, they were talking about you? I would never assume that. On the other hand, who the hell knows? I would never. It's sort of like that thing you guys know. When you run into some celebrity and then you introduce yourself and they go, "Oh, I know you." And you go, "Why do you know me?" And you go, "Well, because you're celebrity." And you go, "Yeah, but you're you. Why do you know me?" And then they go, "Because you're on TV or you've sold platinum records." So you don't realize, yeah, but no, I'm going to go now. Did you just call yourself a celebrity? I didn't know. I don't know if you heard this upsetting story. It's one of those upsetting, but then not on the same level as certain tragedies. But still just as emotionally upsetting, the Danish zoo that killed the draft, a month or so ago, Marius, has now called, that's their word, for, um, euthanized, for lions. How they smell there? C-U-L-L. Oh, they're cold. They're cold. They're cold. They call them. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Two lions. Four lions. Four lions. Four lions. I love these guys. Two aging lions and two lion cubs, because they are going to be getting a, uh, three-year-old male lion. And they're saying that this three-year-old male, like all sorts of bad things could happen once the new, stronger, you know, virile, chosen lion enters the zoo. Yeah. Um, they had to put them lions to make way for this new one because it wouldn't have been accepted by the pride, if the older male, who was 16, was still around. And furthermore, they couldn't risk that the new male lion might mate with the, the old hag female lion that they killed. Uh-huh. She was too old to be mated with again, due to the fact that she would have difficulties with birth and parental care of another litter. It's total ageism. And then the cubs were put down because they weren't older left to fend for themselves and would have been killed by the new lion anyway. I call it bullshit. They were going to find out this zoo keeper has, like, bodies in his freezer at home. He's just killing shit for fun, right? They're going to make him wear arm bands. I find this eye guide to me the most pragmatic man on the planet. Well, it's proactive man. They said, this article doesn't say it, but I read it in other articles that they had tried to quote, re-home them, but they couldn't find a home for them, which that's the part that I think is total bullshit because you can put anything on Craigslist. Yeah, that's true. There's so many animal rights groups that I'm sure would have taken it. Cubs, Mike Tyson would have taken a whole lot and the giraffe. How about the L.A. Zoo? All we have is like a peacock and like, I think four full mingos. That's about it. We were just taking it. They, you know, this is why we miss this is where you miss Michael Jackson. She's definitely would have taken that giraffe. He would have taken those cubs. No, the reason I like this guy and everyone else hates me for liking this guy is because he's all business. He simply just goes, if we bring in this new one, it's going to kill that one and it's going to fuck this up. So let's do it ourselves. Yes, this is our goal. Our goal is, oh, look, every good action movie has this as a theme, right? Killing innocent animals. No, no, that part where the one guy, like they do that move, I just watch arm again with Bruce Willis. Somebody's got to stay behind and blow up the ass. All right. Yeah, I just watched a Prometheus last night, same thing. Someone's got it. And there was that one fly the ship and the other ship. There's that other one where John Lega-Zama and I don't remember who were going on to an airplane and they had to take it over. Oh, shit, man. I know not seems like a weird Lega-Zama. Who does? But the point is that at some point they landed while the plane was mid-flight, the Navy SEAL team went down the tunnel, the airlock got bad, and the executive disorder decision. Okay, okay. But one guy had to stay behind, shut the hatch while the other one else went safety. As if people die. For themselves decisions have to be made ahead of themselves. Yeah. Now, I'm with them on the part of like, you know, give it to another zoo, but the part where all this guy wants to do is preserve the species the best way he can. And if that means going over, he can play God, playing God. Steven Segal-Sak-Fry-Self and that's him. The zoo said the culling may seem harsh, but in nature is necessary to ensure a strong pride of lions with the greatest chance of survival. Are they endangered? Yes, and did no one think maybe they shouldn't take the new lion and just keep four lions and maybe mail the other lion to deserve a female of the right. Here's my point. Two things. First off, if I was at this meeting and somebody said, look, there's going to be a culling going down, I'd be like, is that a guy? Fucks my wife while I watch. Number one, and then I told I should have read up on some of this stuff. Here's my whole thing. I know, again, everyone hates me. I don't care. Here's how it works. Do we think that this guy hates lions and/or hates zebra? No, he hates giraffes. Or I mean, giraffes. Do we think he has malice in his heart? Like, he goes, fuck giraffes. I need to come up with an idea so I can just just remember giraffe or and/or lions. Like, do you think he does not like that? I'm not pulling it out. I don't. I do. I is. I will. I think he doesn't like lions and doesn't not like lions. I don't think he likes giraffes or hates giraffes. I think what he wants to do is his job. And I think his job is to perpetuate the species is the best way he can. And in his mind and his expertise, this is what he needs to do. Which is fine. It's sort of like saying, oh, generals must hate 19 year olds. I don't think they hate 19 year olds. They have to send them to their death in order to win the war. I think this guy wants to win the war. But because we're all just doing this. I sure you're saying. I'm just saying, do we know for sure that this is how you do that? Well, what I'm assuming is that this guy rose to the level that he can make these kinds of decisions. Head of a shitty Danish zoo. The head of a Danish zoo where he can actually go, I want that animal put down. And I went that animal put down. And there's nobody above him who can go, sorry, that's not going to happen. He must know something about exotic animals. So then the question becomes, does he, is he doing this because he hates those animals? Or is he doing this because he least believes this will be good big picture for the species? It's probably bad press, good press. They've probably got so much press for killing a giraffe that they're like, let's kill some lions and ticket sales will go through the world. It's going really well. All people who do horrible things. Okay, I hear, I totally hear what you're saying. I'm just going to point out most people who do mass slaughters of animals or what have you believe that they are doing good? No, no, no, people don't do it just because they want to kill people or animals. No, I agree. But I think that's a difference. Damn, I mean, you know, Hitler killing gypsies and retarded people. It's hard to get, it's, it's, they're people around him. I'm guessing there's some sort of sanctioning board or governing bias or something that has to be, he can't willy-nilly just decree. He's, today's a good day to die and walk over toward the lion stand. Although I wouldn't, you know, I'd have a certain degree of respect for him. He, this has to be discussed amongst other people who work at that zoo and amongst experts. Yeah, there's like a zoo animal sex class field. And somebody said, should we bring a tiger in and somebody said, if you bring or the, an alpha lion in, the alpha lion is going to eviscerate the other one and then he might eat the cubs as well. And then there's a way to do this. I, I mean, what, here's what I'm saying. I'm just reverse engineering everything. I know it's easy to go, oh, fuck this guy. He must hate, hate lions. I'm sure he studied lions. I'm sure he's an expert at lions. And I'm sure he has a reason why he's doing what he is doing other than he hates lions. Yeah. I mean, just the way my thinking goes is why not take all the extra measures and find a home for these animals. That's the period talking. No, I feel the sweet even when I don't have my period. When do you not have your period? That is a fair question. There was an afternoon six months ago. I also assume in America, maybe I'm being naive, but I assume if he said we got to kill some lions and somebody said, whoa, whoa, there's a lion retirement home that's just on the street. We could, and he went, fuck that. We, we slaughter him today. That would get out. Like somebody would say, no, you can't go and just do that. Apparently, with Mario's the draft, there were a lot of other zoos that had offered to take in Mario, Now, I don't know why that didn't happen. All right. I listen. I'm not big enough. Cash. Yeah. I don't. I don't have a draft in this fight. I'm just saying, I do assume that people do things for a reason other than nefarious reasons if and they get to this certain level. And I'm not talking about junkies who stab people because, you know, they're hearing voices. I'm talking about guys who rise to whatever level this guy's at. And I also believe, again, I don't, I think this guy probably loves lions or would like to preserve them much like Steven Segal did in the executive position. Yeah. Apparently, each year, thousands of animals are euthanized in European zoos for a variety of reasons. And zoo managers say their job is to preserve species, not individual animals. Well, that's one of those animals I would not want to live in zoo. I want to go on and live out my natural life by being eaten by a predator within like 12 days in the wild. But I mean, ultimately, I would like the species like I know, you know, we do the things where everything's our puppy or our kids, but ultimately the preservation of the species to meet trumps, any individual rights of lions, unless you give them super cute names. And in Bindi's involved. Symban Karen. I made up those names. I don't really know. For lion cubs, all right, speaking of big wild animals, Manticore, the white tiger who mauled Roy of Sigmarine and Roy, died. Yeah, that guy killed him. That guy flew out from a stainless zoo and so, huh? I heard there's a large animal. A large animal, but they've got a lot left. Now, come on. I'm like a fire at an air and celebration. Like I normally do. It's going into a lion's head. Montacore, I think. Is that those Montacore? Montacore. Yeah. Yeah, but I'll buy a fucking tiger. Yeah. That's pen Gillette. He was 17. Mm-hmm. Uh, the news came out because Sigmarine took to Facebook to write about it. Are these, uh, is 17 a good run for an albino lion or is it, you know, you know what I mean? In cat ears. Yeah. I actually don't know. How can we only go dog ears? I don't know. And how do we even know that that's really what dog ears are? Well, we just convert dog ears into our ears. I mean, we just go, well, if the average dog dies at 12 and the average human dies at 78, then that dog must be 78 when that dog is 12. There's actually actually broken the dog ears thing down even more. Whether it's a large breed, medium breed or small breed. Mm-hmm. I've seen the charts. At the vet's office. Anyway, the tiger had been living at the Sigmarine and Roy's Secret Garden in Dolphin Habitat at the Mirage. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So, 25 years, they say, is about the average in the zoos and in the wild, 10 to 14 years. And at the Danish Zoo, just 10 minutes. So, that's actual. Yeah. For a secret garden, they're sure a lot of signs pointing to it. Yeah. So, it'll be missed. And where are we at Secret and Roy doing? Roy is not doing much. Apparently, is he? No, I mean, I don't know. Is he recovered at all? He's paralyzed. Is he getting any of his things back? Is he? Yeah. He survived the attack, but was left partially paralyzed. He never returned to the stage and makes only rare public appearances. But, doing nothing but a fucking tiger, do we know is he, you know, in a pool right now, rehabilitating? You know, is he able to get around with a cane that will stay up on its own? Mm-hmm. You know, they have a walker. I believe in these a lot of assistants. Right. But it wasn't what it was, right? I mean, that she was-- Oh, he was near death. Right. That's true. He's rehabilitating to some degree. I mean, imagine he's getting some speech back or what have you, but I don't know. Yeah, I believe he does have some-- I thought I heard him sort of interviewed somewhere. But anyway. All right. Monocore will be missed. Now see, that's an animal that I'm surprised they kept around. I'm sure that there were a lot of people who thought, well, we have to put the tiger down. And then I guess Secret and Roy stepped in and said, no. I think what you do with the-- here's the thing. You have to put dogs down because dogs live amongst us and they get out in the neighborhood and you have kids. And if your dog is biting everyone, then you have to put the dog down because it's going to bite when your twins and blah, blah, blah. But you don't have to put lines down because they live in a cage. You know what I mean? It's like-- Is there someone who had an elephant that killed someone and they had to put the elephant down? Oh, really? Mm-hmm. And they attempt to take the elephant and have them if it's a performing elephant. It was. And they have to have trot them around and minute your Indian people ride them and things like that. Yeah, it would be dangerous. And they have to do it. But if you're going to just go, I'm going to put you in a cage and lock you up and feed you by throwing shit through the bars, then you never really need to put-- be put down because-- And maybe sometimes we'll bring you your baby and then you can rock it in your trunk. Right. Yeah. And it's like saying, you know, everyone in jail doesn't need to be put down. They're in jail. They're down. Yeah, you're already down. Yeah. Right. All right. Let's do another. Win of Paltrow and Chris Martin have decided to separate. Oh! 10 years of marriage. What? I know. That was always on there. What did you say? Mm. Did you know that? Did you know that? Mm. It was a shock. I'm shocked. I don't have to go home and explain to my wife if it could happen to them. It could happen to anyone and we're anyone. They have two children. Do you think we're better than them? I didn't think so. They don't think anyone's better than them. Daughter Apple, who's not in a half and they have a son Moses, seven and a half. It is with heart's full of sadness that we've decided to separate. They announced on Win of Paltrow's group website. Under the heading, conscious uncoupling. Don't you feel like they're both just them anyway. Like they don't need each other. I look at them as the same person. Essentially, they have no need. One's not being helped significantly by the other. Yeah, they're both fair-haired, good-looking blondes or talented with nice bone structure. Carol out about the land because it's weird names and they're skinny. Even though they don't have to be. They're probably two in shape. They're both saying like angels. Yeah. They're just one. Yeah, there's two of them. They don't need two of them in the same place. The guy from the Danish zoo should take one out. Yeah. Because there's too much. Well, I don't want to take over as the singer of Coldplay. That would be difficult. Or he should hook up with like Sophia Vagaro or something and go that's different. Yes. Otherwise, you're invading at this point. We have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much, we will remain separate. We are, however, and always will be a family and in many ways, we are closer than we have ever been. Oh. I'm not fine. I've never been. There's a song in there somewhere. It's called that bullshit about being close. In many ways, we're closer than we've ever been. We have always conducted our relationship privately. And we hope that as we consciously uncouple and co-parent, we will be able to continue in the same manner. Love. Gwyneth and Chris. Mm hmm. What are they going to do now? Are they going to get the co-custody? Are they going to work that out? Is everyone living in England? What's going on? We're living London. Andy, what do you know about those guys? I think they're in London. I thought they were here. I bet they're both. I bet they're both. Yeah. Both. Yeah. Like the edge. Mm hmm. Here as well. And Dublin. Sure. Do you know those guys? Yeah. Mm hmm. How are they? They're nice Irish guys. You're talking about Chris and Gwyneth. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know them. I know you too. He just brought a Malibu state for a 14 million bucks. He brought most of Malibu state. Yeah. I removed it as far as I. Mm hmm. Got that coldly money. Yeah. All right. It's going to have a good time. What do you think? I think he's already dating someone. Tell me your sneaky mind. Mine? Yeah. I think that maybe. Okay. I don't. This is just from stuff I read on Twitter. I don't know. Mm hmm. But I think there are rumors that perhaps he's been cheating on her. It's hard. For first off, you know. When you sell that many records, is it cheating? Or don't you get like freebies every million records? Yeah. For royalty. Yeah. But Gary has a sneakier mind than I do. And by that, I mean, he reads more gossip sites. What do you know, Gary? Hmm. I thought it was the other way around. Oh really? I'm looking it up right now. I thought the speculation was that she was cheating on her. Maybe they're both cheating. Yeah. The rumors are about her. The most recent ones. That she had an affair with an entertainment lawyer named Kevin Yorn. Oh. She had Yorns. That's Pete Yorns' brother, I believe. Oh really? I think so. I knew it. I knew those Yorns were up to no good. Interesting. Well, look. They're both passionate people. They don't seem very passionate. I know. Other passionate about greenhouse gases and things like that. Either way, the thing about divorce. Everyone makes a big deal out of it. But let me say, when my parents got divorced, it was tragic. And the reason it was tragic is because no one wanted to fuck either one of them. And they didn't have any money. When you have a lot of money, both sides. And everyone wants to fuck both sides. It really softens the blow. I mean, he's going to be out in a point doom and Malibu balls deep. And a 26-year-old tonight. And he's going to be thinking a little bit about his wife, his ex-wife. But not that much. Right. Do you see what I'm saying? It cushions the blow. Yeah as a song in there somewhere I just think push into the blow I think it's going to be cool Peter is the brother by the way So he would know but this thing about how they're closer than they've ever been It means like in the same lawyers office like literally like two or three feet apart when they Let me say this there's certain people that are blow-hards and so when you're blow-hard everything that comes out of your mouth has to be blow-hardy It doesn't matter if it's your divorce or it's 9/11 or it's somebody winning the Super Bowl Everything has to sound super blow-hardy It's like chicks who speak in a breathy fashion or guys who have those those pregnant pauses like everything they say is important You know it's the Donald Trump kind of thing They everything they do is in a blow-hard version of what they do But also I think they do a thing where they go Of course that's for the little people that's for the common people We're not divorce people oh clearly we're getting a divorce but we're not divorced people So we're going to make you guys understand while yes we are getting a divorce we are absolutely not like you And your parents have got divorce we're not those people We're better divorced people They're uncoupling They're just uncoupling Right so they can get divorced but with great dignity You see what I'm saying and it's not that you should get fucking divorced or you don't Why doesn't he whenever release a press statement saying we fucking hate each other we've hit each other for three years It's so over between us I think people would love a press statement like that Yeah her pussy smells I had to get out Love Chris Take us go on sale tomorrow All right let's bring it home That's the news I'm Allison Rosensippet Cunt Oh remember when I was a total bitch and couldn't stop crying I figured out why That was the news with Allison Rosensippet Oh right Redondo Beach tonight and come on out and see Andy and Rob perform and you can see Kimmel and Kevin Bean and me and Dr. Drew and Mark Marin and all those good guys doing a nice benefit show for the Legal Defense Fund And catch contract or Sunday night and check that out if you like as well That's so until next time Santa Perola for Alec Baldwin, Man Anthony, Andy Summers, and Rob Giles, Allison Rosens and Paul Bryan Singh Mahalo Quiet All right that's Adam Crowell show 1290 with Alec Baldwin Come up next we have Adam Crowell show 552 featuring Allison Rosens and Bryan Bishop This one's from 2011, check it out [Music] We can make it work We can make it happen And remember woman and child throughout the land Gotta do our part Gotta love our brother, man We all got to get together and the helping hand Blacks and good at sports Choose and make it money And Greek folks use to be good at a lot of things He used to be good, he used to be good Sweetest chicks I have Friends folks are saucy And part of a reggae's bug into that crazy beat A banyans love sheep Hispanics love relaxing What the whites there And Irish people value good times over family All right you get it Josh Gardner, Mr. Stakefinger I like that the Greeks used to be good at a lot of stuff And they're doing it What's going on baby got some news? I sure do Get this Adam, get this Bryan, get this listeners And viewers Charles Manson has broken his 20 year silence And is speaking out about global warming This is why we have to kill these fox 20 year silence He got convicted, went 20 years, talked for 20 years and stopped talking for 20 years And now he's all on fire Let's hear it Global warming He's got a track on Mr. Stakefinger by the way Bonus track In Spain's Vanity Fair he said everyone's god and if we don't wake up to that there's going to be no weather Because our polar caps are melting because we're doing bad things to the atmosphere I mean I've been saying that for years You know that Sharon Tate's mother has to like make the pilgrimage in from Tyler, Texas every like seven years and sit in front of this fucking animal during the parole Yeah Imagine that I mean imagine your young beautiful daughter slaying many many years ago early 70s And every fucking five, six years you got to head in and go sit there and stare at this fucking animal Really? And now if you're in Spain and you pick up Vanity Fair you have an article where he's talking about the environment And I want a bullet put the fucking guy's head in I'm an animal I love the fact that I'm not evolved because I want this fucking guy dead I argue I'm more evolved because I want evil punished Given his celebrity and his racism surprise he wasn't killed in jail It would have been nice Right? Yeah, I feel like the other inmates have really let us down But can I just share a few more of his wise gems The automobiles and fossil fuels are destroying the atmosphere and we won't have air to breathe If we don't change that as rapidly as I'm speaking to you now If we don't put the green back on the planet and put the trees back that we've butchered If we don't go to war against the problem then he trailed off By the way he's picturing a 72 Pontiac Bonneville like he's not picturing a Honda Civic He doesn't, he's back in 1973 He is? He's back in 1971, huh? Yeah, he doesn't, you get to stand and winkel You get behind one of those old cars like a parking structure and the guy gives a little gas You're completely gasped out, new cars You ever do a thing now you realize like someone fires up their Honda and it's like in their garage And you're standing in the garage next to the tailpipe Nothing seems to be coming out I drove an electric mini at an auto show a couple years ago and the thing doesn't even, it doesn't even sound like a car It just sounds like I drove a leaf about 12 hours ago indoors in New York at the auto show The Nissan Leaf I drove a twig here I drove a piece of bark powered by good vibes I hitched a ride on a dragonfly I rode upon a unicorn I sat on a firefly and I was careful not to get burned Here's the thing Don't be a one-up or like I said before Yeah, like I said before What a strangle that bitch I mean I actually agree I actually agree You know, with Manson about how we do need to be careful about global warming and the environment and stuff But I don't want him to be caring, I don't want to be aligned with him Hey, Allison, can you go right in the mic and just say I agree with Charles Manson? Yeah, clearly why? Oh, that's a good idea Okay, yeah, wait, tell me what you want to say again? Say again I. Can you agree with Charles Manson? Oh, you stepped right on it I agree with Charles Manson Good Thank you All right You guys are going to do anything bad with that, right? It's just going to put it in the spank bank and that's all Okay, Tyler Perry had some choice words for Spike Lee Mm-hmm He said, "I am so sick of hearing about damn Spike Lee." He said this during the press conference for Medias Big Happy Family. Have you guys already bought tickets? Oh man, he's so versatile that Tyler Perry. I mean one movie he's got a big black chick who's swinging her purse around and swinging a gun around and threatening people And then the next movie you got a big black chick swinging a gun around but then just when you think you know him He unleashes a big black chick who's swinging a gun around Awesome I don't have to drop out of the film ball in the last minute so we are forced to devote the entire episode to Tyler Perry's idea Yeah, he is. I admit it I've said it once, I'll say it again He is a bad writer You said it more than once I will say 10,000 times Please watch "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" or whatever his first one was And then tell me if you can figure out what the fuck it is It's a horrible message and it's the ultimate form of racism which is Oprah going, "Hey everybody, we have this horrible writer who's essentially a hack and perpetuating horrible black stereotypes" I put my foot up your ass, I put a cap in your ass But he's successful So let's put him on our show and pump him up even more Even though his art sucks and his message is horrific You're a regular Spike Lee, that's pretty much Spike Lee's point It's fucking a hack, his writing is bad It's not one of these things where it's like well you got to be black and you don't understand and it's a cultural no I just fucking watch to I just watch it I watch it I listen to your white man's eyes I once in a while the hood obscures this thing but I will lift it up to eat popcorn it's horrible because you can't stay in bad fucking writing is bad so do you find that you are normally on the same page as Spike no Spike at least can write yeah I mean I think Spike is probably racist but at least he can he can write yeah to alienate both of them so yes he's racist but he can write in 2009 Spike Lee said this and this is what Perry was was talking about this is Spike Lee each artist should be allowed to pursue their artistic endeavors but I still think there is a lot of stuff out today that is cunery and buffoonery I know it's making a lot of money and breaking records but we can do better I'm a huge basketball fan and when I watch the games on TNT I see these two ads for these two shows I'm a tire Perry's meet the browns and has a pain and I'm scratching my head we got a black president and we going back to Manta and Moreland and sleep and eat yeah and the big ad for Medea's next was like Hal Luja or whatever and it doesn't make I'm not sure maybe it's a white guy think it's a funny the way she talks the thing the thing is the thing is this that is funny what Spike is saying you know all the shit we made fun of from back in the day yeah like sort of black patch it yeah and even the sort of black exploitation stuff and all that stuff and we all see that and it's 20 years past or 50 years past and we sort of shake our head like a man what were we thinking right and now we think we've moved past all that no we have not in generations we'll go back and look at this Tyler Perry shit and shake their head and go what were we thinking and the real question is what is Oprah thinking she shouldn't be have this guy in the show and you know turn him into the second coming and college I took a class called representations of African Americans and American cultural discourse awesome I did not really understand any part of it but I did write a paper about 2D you should get together with my mom and her Chicana studies degree feel like you two whiteies could really get it on I agree with Charles man's oh wow let's just stay on the subject please no I think that we should talk about prom hmm I want you guys to go with me hmm hmm I want to find there's a show story oh here we are and my prom date died yeah what happened wouldn't put out what are you gonna do now sweet beautiful good grades I the fuck I don't know the full story she she I went to the prom with her she went off to UCSB and I think she graduated and she's probably like 21 or 22 or something like that she's like pretty smart the whole world family together everything and she's like an aerobics class or something got a little light headed like fainted in the doctor like told her like hey take it easy and went out took another class a week later just died I mean that's how I heard it in 1985 or whenever it was reported back to me just sweet pretty nice girl nice family yeah you know it's so it's so weird when you're so bad but when you come from my family and you live where I live and you grew up how I grew up and we had guys dying you know in the early 20s like hey J. you're happy to Chris what happened die last weekend on a motorcycle and be like oh man that's a bummer we guys want to do for for dinner like it was like it's something weird I mean I guess almost like being in the army just see guys falling around yeah like you're just 23 you're stupid and you don't care and you don't know and you don't value your own life that much like we're all riding motorcycles with no helmets in the rain and stuff like that driving around naked drive around naked and it's just like wow man that's sad and it's like what but but we had it's like I don't need to have your own problems like my job sucks my life sucks I have no money and I agree with Charles Manson you're getting the Charles Manson yeah so it's like I almost not old enough to to take it in you know yeah like it yeah like the shock stage sort of lasted till now and almost never kicks in because you're like more we're more animals than human mm-hmm weird all right next yeah it's weird I have there's a lot of deaths around me that I've mourned but there's my dad's best friend died right as I was graduating from college and like I just was too busy that for it to ever really catch up with I mean I'm sad but it like for some reason like just time wise it didn't work out for me when it's when your dad's friends even though it's like a family friend I mean someone but I I normally would have mourned that when I was young I mean you know when you're young and someone is 43 dies like well he lived a rich rich old age of you know he lived a ripe old age of 43 like seems like an old I had my friends dad died right when we graduate high school and I remember thinking sad but he was an older dude but the reality is he's younger than we meaning mean my buddy Alex who's dad died are now which is sad to think right right but it's not cut with that tragedy of like a kid whose life was yes had a few of those was anyway though Wisconsinite Karen Frey made her daughter to Manson while I live us all do not worry I agree with Charles man go instant regret a prom dress from thousands of starburst candy wrappers oh I love this dolly part and song you just when carefully folded eight times increased with a tweezer this is the mother the mother made the dress oh god and a clutch and a vest for the daughter's boyfriend Zane who we have a sound bite from and he's so unhappy about this and the project took six years my mom and this woman would have nothing to talk about nothing I feel like this is not woman of the I mean mother of no it is it is just you wait okay let's hear it this is my boyfriend Zane and this is sweet literally it's all right had no choice I don't really have a choice listen that's a sweet looking dress as a sweet looking broad and that kid is lucky and I don't give a shit I I love that I love effort as she looks good in it too now that's high and that took look it's six years it's calorie burning it's ever yeah I swear to god a year ago I fucking call my mom I was out I was out doing we're starting to gather some pictures together for the live show and I wanted some old pictures of like me or the house or whatever and keep mind my mom lives in about 900 square foot were the house and I said I never asked my mom for anything ever I just but what what my parents do is they render themselves just sort of incapable and then everyone leaves him alone sort of like announcing the world you have a bad back and then no one ever ask you to move you just you just walk around the bad back your whole life and everyone will leave you alone and basically my my family's their M.O. is to be wildly ineffective and then no one will ever bug you for anything it's sort of like kind of smart yeah no it's like my my poor assistant Jay is wildly effective super hardworking and drives a pickup truck thus he gets bugged every weekend help someone move or help now or blah blah because they know he's a sucker and then I'll do it you drive a sedan and always be reaching for your back and everyone is life will leave you alone and announce you have no money no one ever asked to borrow anything they're a help or anything but that's how my family is and I said to my goddamn mom I said hey mom you got the old pictures because I'm trying to get this show together for tonight and I'm running around town taking pictures my old work and old apartment all that kind of stuff you got anything and she says I agree with Charles Manson she said I'd rather got a shoe box in a closet meanwhile the house is 900 square feet I said hey do you think I could come over there and grab that and grab a couple of those pictures a Saturday afternoon about about 11 in the morning she said me and your step my father making health drinks right now I said all right well could I come over and just well I don't really have the time to look at could you come by in a few hours like maybe you know two o'clock I said well mom I got to go to North Hollywood and take a bunch of pictures and then I got to go up to locker center to the old house and take a bunch of pictures and it's raining outside and we're doing a show tonight and she said so I'm really kind of up against it and I'm really swamped and I'm really I'm stressed out so if if you could just pull the box down from the closet to shoe box and I could just I said I could come there and like the next half hour I'll just you know go through and get the pictures and she's like yeah we're right in the middle of making these things and then I said she braiding the alfalfa then I said and then I gave the sarcastic you know what just forget it forget it I'm too busy I got too much going on I got take all these pictures and then we're doing a show tonight at the Alportal I'm up against it I'm stressed out so you know what enjoy your health rank and just forget it and she was like okay oh by the way we need fork Comp tickets for tonight's show. - Wow. - Oh, by the way, that's standard operating procedure. - Did you just give them the tickets? - Yeah, what are you gonna do? - Yeah. - And that's it. Yeah, that's it, that's it. That's a 900 square foot house. It's got one closet in it. There's a shoe box in it. As 11 o'clock, she's making health drinks. And couldn't come by in the next half hour. Couldn't literally get the shoe box out. You wanna talk about just fucking paralyzed. Wildly fucking ineffective. And I'm not doing shit for you. That's, that's the family. - If I had known that making health drinks could get you out of things, I would be making a lot of health drinks. - It's awesome because it wasn't breakfast and it wasn't lunch. It was the health drink in between. But think about the symbolism of it. I gotta take care of me. - Right, it's me time. - I'm taking me. - Personal day. - Me, yeah. Mm-hmm. All right, so fuck 'em. - Yeah. Mm-hmm. - Well, this mom with the Starburst wrapper. - Oh. - But see, she probably for six years couldn't go to parent student day. Couldn't do this. - No, she did everything and then some. And I know her daughter is eating disorder. And if I know if I sat next to her on a plane, she would fill my head with all sorts of horrible things her mom did, which would be the opposite of stuff my mom did because it would've been stuff. She would've been, oh, my mom was always all over me. And she would embarrass me because she would go to my volleyball games. - She made me wear this sticky dress. - She could have my volleyball game. She would stand up and cheer, real loud, and be so embarrassing. And it's like, she went to a volleyball game. - Yeah. - Really? See, that's how everything works with me. But I don't care. You kids that are embarrassed by your parents that burn calories on you, crime me a fucking river. Ask wipes. - And apparently Karen contacted the candy rigglies who makes the labels. And asked if she could just get these starburst rappers. But they said, no, so she did the biologist candy. - I said, no. - They can't do that. - That strategy works out fine until it makes the news. And then you have to report that they said, no. All right, one more story, take it on home. - Okay, okay. Did you hear about the postal worker in Portland who defecated on someone's lawn? - Mm-hmm, in treat. - Don Derfler was waiting for his babysitter when he saw his mailman acting odd at a neighbor's house across the street. The postal worker then pulled down his pants. That's when Derfler started snapping pictures. - What can Brown do for you? - The pictures show the postal worker squatting near some bushes and pulling his pants up. Now, when I first read this, I was like, I wasn't sure that he had actually defecated, but that since been confirmed. Derfler even photographed what was left behind. And we have a little, we have Derfler explaining this. - Oh, okay. - Yeah. - Oh, we trust people like the postal service and meter readers and people of that nature to come on our property and to defecate. - Is this Truman Capote? Who is this? - I don't know. I murdered him. - I think he's a murderer. That's fucking, that is Truman Capote with like just a dusting of Asperger syndrome. - If you took Truman Capote and you made him 31 and you put bad frames on him and you gave him just a dusting of down syndrome. - He is mouth, too. - If Truman Capote was a huge brewers fan. - Yes, run that bag. Let's see here, let's see. - Go ahead. - The white on. - It's just long. - Ah, name. - I like when people-- - Oh, Derfler. - Like the inverse of Don Draper. - I like when people take a, you know, basic black and white sort of act, you know what I mean. And then just announce at the end that it's wrong. Like you break into somebody's car and steal their stereo. That's just wrong. Like, all right. Let me take my notes, let me take my notes. And I do like what they do, that thing like, if they find out that, you know, somebody, whether it's the carpet cleaning guy or the meter reader, like we trust these people to come into our homes and, yeah, we get it. We get the guy shit in the dog run. We understand. We understand, you know, I understand. And then I like when they take it like, when I signed up to receive mail, I did not sign up to receive fecal matter. And my dog, I like when they lay that one out too. Like, no shit. This is like, wow, this, woo, what a hard hitting interview this is. We get it. - It's a complicated news story with many gray areas. - Yeah. I feel like that mailman deserves equal time. - The thing's layered like a croissant. Yes, I want to hear his side of the story. Let's get his anus on the floor. I just like, and I like the part where you don't, you expect these people to deliver your mail, but not to defecate. Yeah, okay, hold on, slow down. What part, you expect them to deliver defecation? - Everyday, rain or shine. - I'm making a list of things you expect them to do and don't expect them to do. Now, I got the mail into the expect call. - Mail. - Run the sky again. - Run the sky again. And everyone just think true and capote, and let's see if it doesn't freak us out. This is your worst nightmare, by the way. - Coming on as property is next, right away. - As you, yes. - Yeah, as you, yes, now. - It's wrong. It's he saying it's, wait. - He looks like he's living through it. - I didn't hear the end of it. - Because you say it was right on or did you say wrong? - He said it. - It's just wrong. - By the way, it's got to be rough going through your life as DeFure, essentially, which his name is. - His pregnant pause, like he was searching for it was right or wrong. - It's just wrong. - Maybe in his mind he flipped a coin. - It's right. - It's just wrongs. - Yeah, see, here's the problem. The problem with our society is there's way too many unemployable people now, which means you can't get away with shit literally anymore. There was a time where you could just kind of do your dirty work somewhere around the middle of the day and the middle of the week. And there wouldn't be some ass wipe who was home collecting disability who had a camera in his phone taking a picture of you. - It's fair, I feel like that guy deserves disability when he's collecting it. - Maybe you're right. But everyone is home during the fucking day now. No one just gets, he used to be like, everyone just left for work at 8.30 in the morning and came home at 6.30 at night. Now everyone's fucking, you know, Mrs. Kravitz just buzzing around. - I don't know where it is this way. You can't take a shit on the lawn while you're doing it. - Oh my God, I don't wanna live in it. - But I mean, have you ever taken a crap just on a lawn? - Well, that guy wasn't really on the lawn. He was kind of in the shrub there. - It wasn't in a toilet. You're right, I'm sorry, it was not on the lawn. It was hidden, but still. - A couple of close calls where it was almost. But let's, let's, let's, let me play ass advocate here for a second. - Well, let's just say, you know, when it happens to the best of us, you know, maybe eight off the truck that morning or something. I mean, there is that moment where it's like, holy shit, pardon the pun, something's gonna happen. Now, if I find a toilet, that's good, but if I don't, it's still gonna happen. There's two kinds of shits. There's, yeah, I'll wait 'til I get home or wait 'til the plane lands or wait 'til the intermission of the theater, whatever it is. And then there's something that's going to happen in the next two to eight minutes and there's not a goddamn thing anyone can do about it. - Yeah. - You do have that, you know, once a year, there's usually that something that's going to happen. - Of the annuals. - And if you're in a place where you're nowhere near your home and nowhere near a liquor store and a convenience store or gas station and you're on foot, sort of what? Then what? At that point, you know what I mean? It looked to me like he tried to stash himself and push himself off the side. Now, here's the real question. And here's where I would be. If this guy said, did he try to, you know, scrape a few leaves on it, take care of it? If a guy said to me, hey man, I eat fucking Thai food last night and I don't know what happened, but I started making my pointed rounds and I heard a grumble and I was gonna explode all over my khaki shorts and I got a long day walk and I had a me and I saw I went off to the dog run, I went off the side, I did my business, wiped myself with a penny saver and I tried to ball it up and sort of shove it into the corner that whatever, I would not hold it against that guy. I don't think he was sending a message. I think he had to take a shit. - Yeah, but within two blocks, there was a public park with porta-potties and a store with a public bathroom. It is not known why he didn't go there. - It was gonna be kind of long. - You know what though, if I see a porta-pottie, I think I do not wanna have to go in there. - That's the same as shitting outdoors, number one or worse. - It's worse, it's worse. - Sitting on someone's shit. - Right, it's shit on shit crime. It's black and black crime. And the other part is if he had known, you know, I don't know, I mean, he works the beat, you know, maybe he did, but who the hell knows if he knows there are two blocks from here, you can hit a porta-pottie. All right, let's bring it home. Let's bring it home. - That's for news. I'm Allison Rosen, Sipit. - Comquot, I agree with Charles Manson. - That was the news with Allison Rosen. - All right, we cool. All right, I'll keep you guys posted on the audio book. Fucking tired of just arguing with everybody about everything. And then again, I know, I'm a dick and everyone does it. Come on, man. What's with the attitude? It's like, but you're right. It wouldn't there wouldn't be an attitude. The attitude is I'm gonna live till 80 if I'm lucky and three quarters of that is gonna be spent having the same argument with stupid people You're fucking wasting my life knock it off Thank you. So until next time. This is Adam Perola. Where's the Libby for ball brine and Allison Rosen and we'll see it tonight and Get the John Lovett's theater doing our thing live. So until next time sadroll saying Mahalo. I Agree with Charles Manson All right, that's Adam Cole show 552 that does it whose weekends for all classics make sure to next weekend Real new installments until then hold and get it off Oh Hello, and welcome to Pluto fo if you know the name of the movie would like to see just stream it for free on Pluto TV We're all your bloodbuster favorites are landing all summer long catch anchor man the legend of Ron Burgundy Fantastic, the matrix trilogy. Welcome to the real world mean girls Much more for showtime's press nothing they're free 24/7. That is so fast Podcasting isn't just about talking. 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