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CULTS: The Cult That Mummified Its God: Love Has Won Pt.1

38m 40s

CULTS: The Cult That Mummified Its God: Love Has Won Pt.1

Amy Carlson's journey from a young woman facing childhood trauma and abuse to the leader of a dangerous cult known as Love Has One illustrates the devastating intersection of mental illness, manipulation, and faith-based delusion. Born in 1975 in Kansas, Amy endured a painful family environment, including physical and emotional abuse, which she repressed. This trauma, combined with unstable mental health and substance abuse—including heavy use of drugs like mushrooms and alcohol—led to a radical spiritual transformation. She claimed to be "Mother God," having lived 534 past lives, and believed she was guided by deceased celebrities like Robin Williams and John Lennon. She formed a cult through social media, recruiting vulnerable individuals—such as addicts, jobless graduates, and veterans—by promising spiritual salvation and a new life in a remote Colorado commune. These members gave up their homes, jobs, and financial stability, often pouring their savings into the group. Amy’s influence grew through YouTube and live streams, where she promoted conspiracy theories, antisemitism, and outright racism, while claiming to perform virtual surgeries and sell unproven products like colloidal silver, which can cause organ failure. The group’s internal dynamics were unstable, with shifting leadership titles and increasing chaos. Ultimately, the cult became a dangerous environment where members were emotionally and psychologically exploited. The case highlights how untreated trauma, mental illness, and charismatic manipulation can lead to the formation of a destructive, delusional community, ending with a corpse wrapped in Christmas lights being transported across state lines—evidence of the cult’s violent and fanatical devotion to a belief system that ultimately resulted in tragedy. This episode explores the blurred line between faith and psychosis, showing how hope and fear can be weaponized to control and destroy lives.

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Hi everyone, it's Vanessa Richardson. Real quick before today's episode, I want to tell you about a show I host with forensics psychologist Dr. Tristan Engels. It's called "Serial Killers and Murderous Minds." Every Monday and Thursday, we take you deep into the psychology of the most chilling murderers and uncover what drives them to kill. Follow serial killers and murderous minds, available wherever you listen to podcasts. Amy Carlson said she was literally God, as in God, the creator of the universe. She said that she had lived hundreds of past lives and that a team of dead celebrities were guiding her from beyond the grave. She ended up on Dr. Phil, claiming she'd performed over a hundred successful brain surgeries. She even got kicked out of Hawaii for claiming that she was the Hawaiian goddess Paley. And honestly, it sounds like something like you would scroll past at 2am. But for a small group of devoted followers, this was reality, and they were willing to give up everything to be close to Mother God. And that devotion would end with a dead body wrapped in Christmas lights being driven across state lines. And this season, we're exploring the intersections of faith and manipulation of hope and fear. It's all about the world's most dangerous cult and the charismatic leaders who promised salvation and destroyed their followers' lives in the process. Subscribe now and step inside the world of crimes. If you're loving crimes of, please follow, rate, and review us wherever you listen. It helps us build this community and we love hearing from you. To get early access and ad-free listening, subscribe to Crime House Plus Community on Apple Podcasts. And you can also catch us on YouTube where we include visuals that bring every case to life. Part 1 on the case of Amy Carlson and the love has won cult starts now. We have heard of this case before and still like, I don't quite understand how everything evolved like it did because like, how do we take a McDonald's manager and a mother of three young kids and end up having her believe that she gave birth to the entire human race and that she's been reincarnated, that she was Cleopatra, she was Joan of Arc, she was Marilyn Monroe. It's mind-blowing and it's really heartbreaking because in the case of Amy Carlson, it is a combination of things like drugs are absolutely a factor here, but alcohol, probably a lot of unresolved like mental health issues and repressed traumas. Medication probably would have helped her significantly. And what gets me even more than Amy believing all of it is that she got so many other people to believe it to. I mean, she convinced them that she was the one true God like so much so that people walked away from everything in their lives, their jobs, their savings, even their kids just to move in with her and basically devote their entire lives to whatever she wanted, how influential she was because I feel like saying your God or that you're Jesus or something, like that is a pretty common thing to come up when people are experiencing psychosis and things like that. If someone came up to you on the street and said something like that, you'd assume drug or mental health crisis. Yes. And we're not talking about like one or two people here. We're talking about so many people who got so deep in Amy Carlson's world and what is now known as the love has one cult that when the whole thing unraveled on national TV, they still didn't leave. Right. Her followers became almost too loyal and so convinced that Amy was really God that they were willing to do just about anything to prove it. In a very twisted way, that is what turned Amy into a victim of her own teachings. Yes. Which is actually interesting because I feel like a lot of the cults that we've talked about so far in the season, yes, maybe the leader does die with their members and they make people like die on the behalf of their message. Yes. This is the one cult where fortunately, we're not having a leader who's making a bunch of people die. Yes. It's still terrible, but I almost am less shocked at what happened here and more shocked about every other cult because especially with the weeding out process and the amount of manipulation and just like breaking down people's psyches, it is kind of surprising that there haven't been as many cases where people on the inside, like I think that people could be more unpredictable and turn on their cult leaders or make decisions that don't match what their leader wants. I know there are so many instances in this case that we'll talk about where I feel like it was like an accidental cult, but then there are moments that really do contradict that. So it's hard. As cults are, there's nuance, but as the group's beliefs got more extreme, their behavior got more intense and the line between faith and reality just completely disappeared. And at that point, it started to feel inevitable that there was only one way this was going to end, and that was with someone who was going to die. And with that in mind, we do want to give you a quick heads up that this episode includes mentions of drug and alcohol abuse, abuse of a corpse, brief references to animal and child abuse, and discussions of eating disorders that led to death. Please listen with care. The car smells sweet and rotten at the same time. John sits in the passenger seat, keeping his face turned towards the half-rolled window, breathing through his mouth. Even with the fresh air, the scent clings to everything. His clothes, his hair, the back of his throat, but his friend Jason doesn't seem bothered. He has one hand on the wheel and the other stretched behind him with his fingers spayed, like he can feel something that no one else can. It's God, Jason says, you can smell her everywhere. In the back seat, mother's body is wrapped in layers of sleeping bags and blankets, all carefully tied together with a strand of Christmas lights, which cast a bright, technique glow against the glass of the window. Jason had insisted on those. He said it honored her ascension and channeled her energy. As the car turns down the interstate, John wills himself not to look at her face, but his eyes keep drifting back to her. The glitter is the first thing he notices, caked where her eyes should be, catching the light in sharp flashes. Her mouth is pulled back, leaving her teeth exposed in a way that almost resembles a smile if you don't stare too long. She's still breathing, Jason says, quieter now. You just have to listen, so creepy. The car falls silent, except for the low hum of the road. John strains, hoping to hear it too. And for a fleeting second, he does. Outside, another state line passes unnoticed in the dark. Inside, the Christmas lights flicker softly, carrying mother God, oh. Let's be very clear. Mother God, in the back seat of this car, is very not alive. She is very dead, wrapped in Christmas lights in the back seat, was her corpse. Yeah, you can smell God. She's here. That is a rotten corpse. That is a rotting corpse, the corpse of Amy Carlson, or as her cult called her mother God. And Amy Carlson is a very complicated person. She's not unlike some of the other cult leaders we've talked about this season, but at the same time, she's also very different. But no matter what version you think was like the real Amy, it's really hard to wrap your head around this question and idea of how someone can go from being an ordinary person to a cult leader to then a corpse wrapped in Christmas lights in the back of the car. So what better place to start than the beginning? Great. Let's go there. Amy Carlson was born in 1975 in McPherson, Kansas, into a lower middle class family, and she was the oldest of three sisters. She seemed like a pretty happy kid, but when she was seven, her parents Linda and Dennis got divorced, which definitely tough, but there's a lot of children whose parents get divorced, like that's not that out of the ordinary. In fact, it's more common than it's not, yes, but it seems like things really got worse for Amy when she was sent to live with her dad and his new wife. According to Amy's step sister, their new step mom didn't like Linda, their mom, their like birth mother, and Amy ended up being the easiest target for that anger, which is so sad. Like she's a child. Yeah. And apparently Linda, Amy's mom said that Amy would come back from weekends with her step mom covered in bruises with stories about being locked in the closet, like she was being abused. Oh hell no. I mean, there's a lot of issues here. Linda seemed to know that something was wrong, but the Carlson family had a way of dealing with things and that was repressed them and not talk about them. So she figured that if Amy didn't think about it and didn't talk about it, then it wouldn't impact her, which we obviously know is the opposite. She basically told Amy, young Amy, to repress those memories, keep them locked away, and that obviously was going to lead to a lot of issues as she grew up totally. for Amy. of the things that she felt like she did have control over and used as sort of like a crutch to cope with what was going on was food. Her sister Tara later said she'd find ding-dong wrappers hidden in Amy's room, but Linda didn't seem to accept this as a coping mechanism for a struggling child. Instead, she saw this as an embarrassment. So she put her daughter Amy on neutral system when Amy was just 14 years old. Linda also signed up too. So I could start doing it together, but to Amy, she's like my mom is saying I'm fat. Yeah. And that is now like another layer. And Linda was saying she's only doing it so that Amy could lose weight basically. A 14-year-old. It's just like fully unhealthy all around. Yeah. Amy did end up losing weight though. And I guess like the silver lining of that situation is with that, she gained some confidence. Her grades even improved. And after high school, she took that confidence with her and ended up becoming a manager at the McDonald's chain by the time that she was 23, which is super very. Yeah. And like to be 23 in the manager. Yeah. That's yeah. Yeah. It's a good stick. So now she had a steady income, which was really important. And by then, she also had a three-year-old son named Cole. A few years later, when she's 25, her and her new boyfriend have a daughter named Maddie. So now she's two kids. Two young kids. She's in a managerial position and McDonald's good income. Seems like things are going well. But as we will see, unfortunately, Amy was not too keen on motherhood. And this will be something we talk about a lot in both part one and part two of this case. She claimed she loved her children, but I think based on her actions, they say otherwise. She would often leave her kids with her mom. Belinda Amy's mom recalled one time walking into Amy's apartment to find her daughter, Maddie, a baby alone in a full diaper. Amy was nowhere to be found. Basically, Amy just like up and left her children. Point being, she was not a very responsible parent. And of course, we can make excuses of which there are many, but it was she was a mother. It was on her. It was her responsibility to take care of her children and she did not. And Amy had a pattern of unhealthy relationships with controlling men who did very little to support her or to support her and the kids. And that didn't change with her next relationship when that led to her third child. So now she has three children with three different men, all of which have continued this cycle of abuse and toxicity and are not showing up to take care of her or the kids. And then she isn't really either taken on the responsibility. It's also a lot to coordinate with so many people and kids and moving parts. It's not that that's any excuse at all, but there's a lot going on. There's a lot going on. And keep in mind also Amy has so much repressed trauma that she's not dealing with. Again, no excuse is enough of an excuse. It's safe to say a lot is going on. And according to everyone in Amy's life, she was struggling. Family blood runs deep. It binds, but getting along is an easy when jealousy and hunger for power take over. Killer Kin from ID explores real cases about family members who turn against one another, unleashing betrayal and violence from the inside. Here investigators, experts and family members try to understand what actually happened and how kinship can unravel into terror. Does evil run in the family? Listen to killer kin wherever you get your podcasts. It's around this time that she went to go see the Celestein prophecy, which is a movie about a man who travels to Peru to find an ancient manuscript that is said to hold spiritual truths about humanity. And I have not seen this movie, but according to the story, there was something about this movie that really, really struck a chord and spoke to Amy, not just the message, but the feeling that she was meant to be a part of it. And she was ready to leave everything behind to do it. And we mean everything. So Amy's mom and sister recall noticing a shift in Amy almost immediately after she had seen this movie pretty much overnight. Amy became obsessed with vibrations. She became more spiritual. She's talking about past lives and UFOs. And these were not things that Amy and her family had ever really talked about before. So they noticed it. They're like, this is different. Whereas you and I talk about this all the time. So it's not weird when we talk about it. And it's also not like this is going to be a short interest of hers. Like this is going to continue on. You know, it's not like going to go see step up the movie and like everyone thinks that they can be like a pop and lock it and break dancer for like a week and you practice in your shower and then move on because you're like, wow, that was delusional. Well, at first, I feel like they do kind of think it's like a phase in a temporary interest. And they don't read too much into it. But according to them, Amy was also spending a lot of time on lightworkers.org, which was an online community for people who were also into this type of stuff. They don't think too much of it until November 2007. First, Amy quits her job, which again, was a good job. And she needed to raise her children. Yeah, that's that's enough. Then that's the shock. It gets more shocking when one night in November of 2007, Amy went to dinner with her mother Linda and her sister Tara. I think it was to celebrate Tara's birthday halfway through the dinner. Amy politely excuses herself from the table. Like totally normal. They think she's going to the bathroom. You know, take call something. No, she literally walks out the restaurant, walks out the door, keeps walking out of the restaurant out of town, leaving her old life and her three young kids behind. Can you imagine? I'm so curious what her kids say about her now or like their memory this moment. In some regards, like, I'm glad they had a better life because she wasn't with them. I don't know. I mean, it's so so complicated. So heartbreaking. Okay. Well, what Amy's family did not know at the time was that she was on lightworkers.org. She had been talking to someone named Robert Salzgever who went by Amarith White Eagle online. Amarith was a lot older than Amy and had been kind of like giving her this grandfatherly warmth and that sort of energy, something that she hadn't really experienced before. But she very deeply desired that sort of connection. Yeah. Just 17 days after meeting Amarith online, Amy left her entire life behind to move to Crestone, Colorado, to be with him. This grandfatherly figure. Be with him romantically. Leaving her three children behind. 17 days. Yeah. I mean, this is why I very much believe there's like a very severe mental health issue going on. Yeah. Located in a remote town in the San Luis Valley, Crestone has always seemed to attract the new age crowd. It's filled with meditation sites, yoga centers, spiritual institutions, and more than its fair share of cults. In short, perfect place for two budding hippies. And that is the direction that she's starting to go. So once Amy Amarith settled in Crestone, they started an intimate relationship and basically become a two-person commune. So if you subside the fact that Amy left her kids to get there, the whole thing in like a kind of like hippie new age sense sounds a little bit beautiful. Yeah. A two-person commune. Can you not just say that that's like a very intertwined romantic relationship? I don't know. But they spent their days with rescue dogs and horses watching UFOs drift through the crowd. Like that part does sound like a dream. Kind of like our dream. Yeah, you and I going off into the. Yes. My dream is that when I when I die, we die together and someone brings our bodies across the line into Area 51. That is. But also like we're a company of two. Yeah. And we should do a company retreat with rescue dogs and horses. Yeah. We just find ourselves a farm and just look at the sky. But that's acceptable. Yeah. Leaving behind your three children is not so much. No. No. So they wanted to build heaven on earth, a place where they could be family. Where everyone could be family. That's like the part that kills me because she's saying this after literally leaving behind her family. And also like is everyone not family? Like in like a spiritual sense? Are we all human and connected by our humanity? Someone needed to ask some more questions. But this was a calm you know of one or two. Yeah. I guess at this point. At this point. Yeah. So with this desire, Amy took on some physical changes. She ditched her blonde hair and heavy makeup and she went back to her natural burnette hair. She started wearing long dresses and scarves and smoking a lot of weed like constantly smoking weed. The weed turned to shrooms. Shrooms turned to acid. And as the drugs are kicking in, Amy's beliefs start kicking in too. They start to escalate. And at first, it's like pretty standard new age ideology. But now it's getting weird. And more and more of her beliefs are all going to be centered around her. It's all centered around Amy. So she starts hearing voices. And one of them told her that she was destined to become president. And then pretty soon, she saw herself as more than president, even more than human. She was convinced. She was God. So the point where she started citing her messages as mother God. And even Amarith was being called father God. So like the two of them together are the gods. Have you watched the false prophet yet? That documentary. It reminds me of this so much. I feel like this is another common thread with cults and cult leaders where they believe that they are president and meant to be president. And I have questions about because that just sounds like a very stressful job. But, you know, I digress. Anyway, so here's Amy and Crestone Colorado, fully believing she was God, and it is here in Crestone that the lightworkers.org chat room was still a very big part of Amy's life, so she's continuing to message on it, and now that she had this big epiphany and realization that she is God, she wants to use that to build her audience. If you're God, like a small online forum, it's just not enough. So she started her own website and started putting her ideas into the world through that. It was called the Galactic Free Press, and every day it was filled with Amy's musings about ascension, astrology, and leaving mainstream society behind, and more and more, Amy started leaning into this like conspiracy theory side of things, like she was posting about how some of the nation's more horrific tragedies were nothing more than a government hoax. And this is where conspiracy becomes dangerous, because we are fans. We love it, sinful. We love a conspiracy, but hers are starting to become dangerous. Yes. Then in 2009, 34-year-old Amy posted her first of many YouTube videos with a new message. The message Jesus has returned, and Jesus was Amy. She's God. She's Jesus. She's Marilyn Monroe. She's Cleopatra. She's everything. Except for her mother to her children. Yeah. Amy spread the word about this revelation on YouTube and on Facebook. A marathon took to Twitter, and believe it or not, people actually started listening. Which like that part is mind-boggling, because like as a deep tick-tock consumer, I feel like I have definitely seen some people's videos where they're going through these same sort of gramblings, and a lot of people are like, you know what would be really cool? It's like, if you maybe just check yourself into the hospital, or like, have you talked your doctor recently, like people in the comments are very much like, this is like, I think you need a little bit of assistance. We saw, and we're not going to out them, but a friend of ours kind of started a cult with his mom, and people on social media were and changed his name and like everything spoke differently. Yeah. And had all these like wearing all the messages. I truly forgot about that. Yeah. So it happens. Stay tuned. Maybe maybe we'll add an extra episode this season. We bring them on, and we bring them back down to reality, or try to. Yeah. Or that's when we get done. That's when we get done. Oh my God. I've been waiting for you, too. Totally forgot about that. That's a good example. It's like, you know, people are using social media to reach a lot of other people these days, and she had YouTube and Facebook and Twitter and all this stuff at her disposal. And it reached the right crowd. It did. People were listening. In 2012, Amy met Miguel Lamboy in a light workers chat room, and he introduced himself as Michael. And Michael was a computer guy. So like, you would expect him to be more logical, left-brained type of guy. Not someone who would maybe be the normal participant in something like this. Yeah. But somehow he became convinced that Amy had healed his late stage lung cancer. And now whether or not he even had cancer to begin with, is kind of up for a debate. But one thing is for sure, and that is that Michael was quite smitten with Amy. And that was before he even met her in person. Like, they were just internet friends at this point, but that's the whole plot of the show catfish, you know? You can defel a deep feelings and relationships and attachments to people that you have never met in person. And I feel like Amy had a really good way of doing this. Like, she was charismatic and was able, like so many people were falling in love with her. Yeah. When he finally did get to meet Amy, they fell for each other and fell for each other fast, which meant that her other romantic partner, Amarith, was now the third wheel. And two years later in 2014, Amy took away the title that she had bestowed upon Amarith and gave it to Michael. He was now bestowed with the highest honor she could think of. He was her new father, God. And as you could imagine, Amarith didn't stick around for much longer after that. No. Now, Michael was by her side. And with him by her side, remember, he's like a computer guy, the following of Amy starts to grow even more. Now a new follower comes in. His name is Andrew Profachi. He's a younger guy who was dealing with a painkiller addiction and had just lost his job. And he had always been into conspiracy theories and when he first found Amy through a live stream, she had shared her belief that 9/11 was an inside job and from there he was just hooked and kept watching because he had already kind of believed that conspiracy. He bought into Amy so much so that he starts dreaming about her, which only made him believe in her messaging even more that she was mother God. But he's like, oh my gosh, she's coming to visit me in my dreams and she has messages for me and naturally, he was like, now I need to see her out. And it didn't take long before the real life Amy convinced him to drop everything and move to the commune in Crestone, Colorado. And this kind of became a pattern with more members and more people dropping everything in their lives moving to the commune. And it was mostly people who were already struggling, a cancer patient, an addict, someone who would find themselves drawn to something about Amy and felt called to be in her presence. Maybe it was her appearance or her confidence or her messaging or her, I don't know, just her presence. Whatever it was, she had this way of pulling these wayward spirits in and convincing them that if they wanted happiness or enlightenment or salvation, it had to come through her. Yeah. And her version of happiness and enlightenment and salvation, it wasn't icing. But it wasn't exactly what you would picture. When Andrew got off his flight in Colorado, he was greeted by Amy and Michael in the middle of a 36-hour mushroom trip. Can you imagine? You're like totally sober hopping off a plane and you know, like they're like in another world. Am I driving? Right. It's going on. So they were there, Mother God and Father God. So high that they were barely responsive. They were sitting in a filthy one-room house. So not the best first impression. But once Amy came to the next day after her trip was done, that initial pull that Andrew felt towards her online came back and he fell for her fast. Yeah. And once you know it, he was very quickly promoted to be the next Father God, which meant that Michael was demoted. Damn. I'm kind of shocked she didn't find a way to just like keep at like everyone with the title. Multiple Father God. Yeah. The Fathers. Anyway, she didn't. Michael's ditched. And Andrew's in. Andrew also brought something practical to the table because he had a background in marketing and web design. How convenient. So he helped Amy come up with the name Love Has One, which was meant to reflect her or so called like a godly vision of unity and peace. She launched all of their social media under the new name and this is when things really started to take off. So Amy had been getting a couple thousand views before this, but now she was pulling in tens of thousands of views on every video in every live stream. Wild. Yeah. And there were some increasingly strange claims that she was making about herself on these streams, claims that maybe at first seemed a bit harmless, but hinted at something much darker, lurking beneath the surface. What if everything you learned in history class was only half the story? I'm Dr. Harini, but I start as a clinical pharmacist and somewhere along the way, I became obsessed with the mysteries that history never fully sought. That's exactly why I created Hidden History, a rewind student's original podcast powered by Pave Studios. Every Monday, I go where history touches the unknown, vanish civilizations, doomsday prophecies, paranormal phenomena, and events that science still can't fully explain. I'll give you historical context, I'll break down the science, I'll even interrogate the supernatural. I treat these moments like open case files, not miss, not superstition, just incomplete explanations waiting for a closer look. And I'll ask the question, what have this happened today? Listen to and follow Hidden History available now wherever you get your podcasts. According to Amy, she had been reincarnated 534 times, and in those lives, she was always someone important. Marilyn Monroe, Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, among a long list of others, 534 lives is quite a lot. And most of those past lives, she claimed that Elvis was her son, and that Donald Trump was her father. And Amy also claimed to have a whole spiritual team behind her who she called the Galactics. And this group of Galactics, it included older historical figures, but was mostly made up of modern celebrities who had passed away. Like Robin Williams and John Lennon, and they were talking them out of this, and they were talking to her on the reg, like Robin Williams and John Lennon were like popping up and saying, "Hey Amy, hi mother god." And Robin Williams is not talking to Amy. Well, she believed they were, and she told people they were, and a lot of people believed what she believed. According to her, this collection of Galactics were speaking to her from beyond the grave and guiding her every move. But like, why does she need to be guided by dead celebrities if she's already lived a million lives? And she's gone. - A lot of people and she's God and created the universe. - Good questions. - No one was asking them apparently. - Everyone on mushrooms? - I do think a lot of them were doing drugs, so yes. According to Amy, the galactics were all helping her fight a common enemy, the Cabal, which basically the Cabal is love has one's version of the Illuminati. Amy said the Cabal was a dark global force trying to keep humanity scared and unenlightened. In fact, they were so dangerous that they had been trying to assassinate Amy over all of her past lives. Like they've been following her through all 534 lifetimes and have continued to try to assassinate her. But every single time she has survived because she is Mother God. - It's an Avengers movie. Like it's what I wish it was. - It was. - Right. So even as the group grew with Andrew now as the new father God, Michael actually did stick around. So Amrith, he's gone. He's gone. He's out. But Michael's like maybe I still have a chance. He stays and he's in this sort of like financial advisor position. And because being a part of this cult comes with some expectations. Part of that, as with many of the other cults, is that your money is no longer your money. Andrew, for example, was expected to hand over his $700 week unemployment check, which they then would spend on drugs and booze. But that didn't seem to be enough to sustain the group. So they needed to get more members so that they could get more money. And Amy made it a goal to convince at least 20 people from their online followership to join the commune. And like before she targeted people that were on the fringes of society. So people who are already struggling and prone to believe whatever she said. And that is when she found Aurora. A law school grad with a once promising future until the 2008 recession left her with nowhere to go. And she had found Amy online and became convinced that she was an archangel. There was another woman, a girl named Hope, that also showed up. And she's always sort of been this like free spirit. It never quite fit into the traditional like nine to five life. So she was definitely an easier person to bring into the group. And then there was John, who joined it not long after finishing a six year contract with the Marines, which really shocked me. But I guess maybe if he's like looking for the complete opposite of the experience he just had. - Yeah, he's looking for like peace and a safe community. Someone to take care of him. - Yeah. - So he was dealing with a lot of like hopelessness and despair after seeing the combat. And he said he felt support and warmth that he hadn't felt in years when he first stepped on the commune. And that is why he joined. And then Amy, she felt the same way about John and it didn't take long for her to move John into the position of father multiverse. It's growing. This world is expanding. - Just moving the bar. But for those counting at home, that makes him the fourth. I'm a gradian now, it's a new title, but it's the same thing, Father God. That's number four. So four while Amy and John managed the new influx of people and the money that came along with them because of course you needed to give over all your money when you came to the commune. And in more than one case, new recruits would cash out their 401Ks and pour their entire bank accounts straight into Amy's pocket. But also all the new people that came also came with that downside because this now what was once like a quiet, peaceful commune is now overflowing with about two dozen people. They're loud, they're messy, they're also very high. Amy even starts calling it energetically overwhelming. Like she had called upon these people to come that she's like, you're stressing me out. Only she's allowed to have these beliefs. - Right. So how did she deal with this overwhelming energetic energy? She of Medicaid. - Drugs and alcohol. And Amy was a mean drunk and there are some stories we will get into in part two that like blow my mind. As most people who are alcoholics, they have two different personalities. When they're sober, they can be very sweet, charming, endearing people like Amy was, but the second that she started drinking, she became terrifying. Her mood got more extreme, the more she drank, she would swing from raging, to sobbing, to screaming, to anyone who was in ear shot, which honestly probably worked to keep members even more involved because they like loved her, but now they feared her, which was a very common thing with put leaders. - Do you have to also take care of her? - Yeah, in a way, like does she need you? Yeah, it's messy. - It's messy. - It is messy. So as Amy spiraled the message and love his ones, video started to also spiral right alongside her. They moved further and further away from unity and ascension, which is what she had started into more of like fear and conspiracy, which is exactly how so many of the cults go, right? Like that's, that kind of signals almost like the end. So she claimed that tragedies like the Holocaust and Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting were a hoax orchestrated by the Cabal to target her. - Right, so it's all about Amy. - Then that content turned openly racist and antisemitic. Some of these things are so offensive. - Yeah. - She opposed any sort of drug control and denounced monogamy, but pushed really far right conspiracies. She also claimed that Hitler was one of their biggest supporters. - Hey. - Which is weird, 'cause then like she also would then usher immigrants into their house? - Yeah. - Like there's just nothing else. - Mental illness. - It's mental, it's so clearly mental. - I know. - Like she's just struggling. Like this is, she's living in a psychotic break and no one's helping her. So throughout the bigotry and the chaos, one message did stay consistent. And that was that Amy was the true mother god. And she was now here to lead 144,000 people into the fifth dimension. But the downside of the group's constant videos and live streams was that Amy's mental deterioration was completely public. Anyone could log in and view it and see it and comment on it and gossip about it. And families were watching in real time as their loved ones were getting pulled deeper and deeper by someone who seemed more and more unstable by the day. Even Amy's own mom, Linda, who hadn't spoken to Amy since she left and abandoned her family started to get really worried. It seemed so bad at this point. What is next? - Yeah, and even as Amy's mental health was clearly getting worse in public, Michael's main focus was still money. He and Amy figured that if people were willing to believe that she was both the Holy Trinity and Marilyn Monroe, they could probably sell them a few things too. So they started selling herbal supplements, sweatshirts and, of course, the pumpkin spice body scrub. - Which past life brought that one in? - Right. So for people who claimed to be totally otherworldly, they were pretty quick to jump on whatever trend might make them cash. And one of those trends was something called "Etheric Surgery," which basically meant Amy would physically operate in quotes on people's bodies and cure whatever was wrong with them. And these surgeries were done virtually. Purely by the power of Amy's mind. A little bit of like raky vibes. She would claim that she could cure cancer, Lyme disease, addiction, autism, and even brain tumors. And then even more popular than the pumpkin scrubs and the surgeries was a product called colloidal silver. This is like the part of the story that everyone knows about. If you watch the documentary, Love Has One, which was on HBO in 2023, like you know this part of the story. It's such a fundamental. That's a highly grimace when you said it, 'cause I brought back to that part of the documentary. - It's basically a liquid with tiny particles of silver suspended in it. And if you ask the FDA, it has absolutely zero medical benefits and can actually cause serious side effects, many of which we will see in this story, including organ failure. But according to the Love Has One Cult, it was a miracle cure that big pharma didn't want you to know about because it made people too healthy. But they've not just picked a random plant, grew in their area to become obsessed with. - No, and the members of Love Has One drank leaders of colloidal silver every day. Leaders. - Oh, it makes me sick to think about. - So even as the group started making real money, Amy still felt like something was missing. Like her journey wasn't quite finished. And what she decided she needed was a new father-god. - Making that number five. - Thanks. - What are we at? - I don't know. - Just moved to Utah, Amy. - But it feels so sad because it's clear that there's a big hole in her own life from childhood that she's seeking to fill with a man. - Enter Jason Castillo. So where the previous father-gods had brought spirituality and finance and marketing skills, Jason was bringing a whole different thing to this plate. He was bringing chaos in violence. - Under his regime as father-god, everything including Amy's health, her message, her group on reality, really started to fall apart. And we're talking publicly on camera, on YouTube. And even on Dr. Phil, but we will get into that in so much more next week in part two of the story of The Love Has One Cult. And my goodness, you are in for a shocking ride. (upbeat music) Thank you so much for listening. your host Sabrina Deanna Roga and Corinne Vienn. Join us next Tuesday for part two of our series on Love Has One. And if there are any cases that you would like us to cover, please let us know in the comments. Here at Crime House, we want to thank each and every one of you for your support. If you like what you heard today, reach out on all social media at Crime House. Don't forget to rate, review, and follow Crime's Up wherever you get your podcasts. Your feedback truly makes a difference. We will see you next week for part two. Court is in recess. Thank you Dairy Members for being here. See you next week. Bye. Thanks for listening to this episode from Crime House. If you're looking for another show to check out, listen to serial killers and murderous minds. Every Monday and Thursday, Dr. Tristan Engels and myself dig into the most chilling murders and uncover what drives them to kill. Follow serial killers and murderous minds available wherever you listen to podcasts.

Podcast Summary

Key Points:

  1. Amy Carlson, a former McDonald's manager and mother of three, developed extreme spiritual beliefs after a traumatic childhood, including abuse and emotional neglect, leading her to claim she was God, reincarnated as figures like Cleopatra and Marilyn Monroe, and guided by deceased celebrities.
  2. She formed the Love Has One cult by leveraging online communities, social media, and charismatic manipulation, recruiting vulnerable individuals—many with mental health struggles—into a commune in Colorado where they abandoned their lives, jobs, and families to follow her.
  3. As the cult grew, Amy's delusions intensified, manifesting in dangerous conspiracy theories, antisemitic and racist views, and claims of performing miraculous "etheric surgeries" and promoting colloidal silver as a miracle cure, all rooted in severe mental illness and substance abuse.

Summary:

Amy Carlson's journey from a young woman facing childhood trauma and abuse to the leader of a dangerous cult known as Love Has One illustrates the devastating intersection of mental illness, manipulation, and faith-based delusion. Born in 1975 in Kansas, Amy endured a painful family environment, including physical and emotional abuse, which she repressed. This trauma, combined with unstable mental health and substance abuse—including heavy use of drugs like mushrooms and alcohol—led to a radical spiritual transformation.

She claimed to be "Mother God," having lived 534 past lives, and believed she was guided by deceased celebrities like Robin Williams and John Lennon. She formed a cult through social media, recruiting vulnerable individuals—such as addicts, jobless graduates, and veterans—by promising spiritual salvation and a new life in a remote Colorado commune. These members gave up their homes, jobs, and financial stability, often pouring their savings into the group.

Amy’s influence grew through YouTube and live streams, where she promoted conspiracy theories, antisemitism, and outright racism, while claiming to perform virtual surgeries and sell unproven products like colloidal silver, which can cause organ failure. The group’s internal dynamics were unstable, with shifting leadership titles and increasing chaos. Ultimately, the cult became a dangerous environment where members were emotionally and psychologically exploited.

The case highlights how untreated trauma, mental illness, and charismatic manipulation can lead to the formation of a destructive, delusional community, ending with a corpse wrapped in Christmas lights being transported across state lines—evidence of the cult’s violent and fanatical devotion to a belief system that ultimately resulted in tragedy. This episode explores the blurred line between faith and psychosis, showing how hope and fear can be weaponized to control and destroy lives.

FAQs

The Love Has One cult was known for promoting extreme spiritual beliefs, including the idea that Amy Carlson was 'Mother God' and that she had lived 534 past lives. The group spread conspiracy theories, made dangerous claims about historical events, and promoted pseudoscientific products like colloidal silver and 'etheric surgery'.

Amy's beliefs began after watching a movie about spiritual prophecy, leading her to become spiritually obsessed. She adopted new age ideologies, started using drugs like mushrooms and acid, and developed a belief that she was God, citing past lives such as Marilyn Monroe and Cleopatra.

Social media platforms like YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter allowed Amy to share her messages widely. Her videos gained traction, especially among people already prone to conspiracy theories, leading to a growing number of followers who moved to the commune in Crestone, Colorado.

The cult made offensive and extremist claims, including that the Holocaust and Sandy Hook were government hoaxes, that Hitler supported the Cabal, and that immigrants were dangerous. These statements became increasingly racist and antisemitic as the group's beliefs spiraled.

Members often gave up their jobs, savings, and families to live in the commune. They were required to hand over their money, which was used for drugs, alcohol, and cult products. Many became emotionally and financially dependent, with some experiencing severe mental and physical deterioration.

The corpse of Amy Carlson, referred to as 'Mother God', was wrapped in Christmas lights and driven across state lines by followers. This was a disturbing symbol of the cult's extreme devotion and the tragic end of a leader whose followers were so loyal they refused to leave even after her death.

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