Crumbl's Drinks Are Diabolical

Imagine setting your makeup, then forgetting it's even theirs. Meet new groupie setting mist from Mavily New York. Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours, with flexible, all-day-gum v-grip. No tightness, no stickiness, no residue. Just plump, dewy, hydrated skin that still feels like your skin. Try new groupie setting mist from Mavily New York. Maybe it's Maplane. Alright team, 40 million Americans are struggling with diabetes right now. That's one out of eight people. How do we fix this? What if we put less sugar in everything? What if we just make healthy food cheaper? What if we do the same thing that UK did and add a tax on high sugary drinks? That actually sounds like a good idea. We're back. So if you didn't miss me already, I've been gone for a while and while I was gone, y'all decided to start not one, not two, but three different trends. Really waiting for me to leave and then start a bunch of trends? Okay. So crumble decided to jump into the drink game and they launched their own drinks, aka dirty sodas. And if you don't live in Utah and you don't know what dirty sodas are, dirty sodas are basically just regular sodas with added creams, syrups, creamers to make them even sweeter and tastier. And usually companies drop like one or two different drinks, three, if you were lucky. But crumble came in this bitch with 48 different drinks and believe it or not, I'm about to sue. Let's take a look at these drinks. Do you see these drinks zoom in a little bit, zoom in a little bit to the right there. What does I say? The Lulu. How crumble, you know damn well, who you stole that from. Now listen, I love when companies drop new drinks, but 48 different drinks is wild. Who the fuck was in the kitchen cooking this shit? crumble just released a lineup of holiday flavored dirty sodas. If you don't know what it is, it's soda mixed with stuff like syrups, sauces, creamer and more. Creamer? Where is this creamer coming from? The cows or the employees? This is coke with dark chocolate, peppermint, a soft whipped topping and crushed candy cane. That does not look bad. The chocolate really goes with like that caramelized coke flavor. It's kind of minty, it's creamy like an ice cream bar. And because the drink is cold, it's like extra minty. Go off crumble. This works really well. Next up we have monkey bread. This is Dr. Pepper with butterscotch sauce, cinnamon bun syrup, heavy cream and a sprinkle of cinnamon on top. Whoa, okay, if a cinnamon roll could be soda, it would be this. The spices of the Dr. Pepper work beautifully with the cinnamon. It's almost also got like a caramelized nose. Sidi, are you okay? How many of these sodas have you been drinking? The caffeine and the sugar in these? God you guys tweaking. Cause what the fuck was that? Morgan? Put the crumble down. Put the fucking drinks down. It's warm and cozy, but still cold. I mean, it's good though, right? It's good though, right? This does it justice. And finally, ice. The fuck is monkey bread. Coconut, blue raspberry, heavy cream, blue dye, whip and snowflakes crinkles. I mean, it's okay. The main flavor is kind of blue raspberry, it's just not super festive. Because of the heavy cream and soft whip, it is very creamy. They probably didn't dance around it when they were making it. Cause if you add that festive flavor to it, you got to dance around it. So when these first came out, I was like, okay, so what's all the noise about? Cause when things got weird, did you see how our girl there was tweaking a little bit? Like she was getting a little hyper fixated? Well, people did notice that some of these drinks are extremely high in sugar. Like I get it. It's a soda. It's supposed to be high in sugar. And it all started when crumble actually removed the nutrition facts from their website. And this was only for their drinks. So why would crumble only remove the nutrition facts for the drinks and not for the cookies? Cause if you go to the cookies, you can actually find everything about the cookies. But for the drinks, there's nothing here. You can customize your drink at whatever you want. But there's no nutrition facts they were here, but they're not removed. So why would they remove them if there's nothing to hide? And what they were hiding was the sugar. Because one of the drinks has a whopping of 186 grams of sugar. If I wasn't diabetic already, I'm about to be pre-diabetic thanks to this shit. So yeah, 186 grams of sugar in this drink. And people that were trying it were complaining that the drink was extremely sweet. Oh no, I wonder why would this drink be extremely sweet? That is so weird. What? Alright, you guys apparently crumble released a new drink and it's 185 grams of sugar and over 800 calories. So apparently this has red bull, sprite, pineapple, strawberry, puree and coconut cream. It's so sweet, you guys. Is it good? Yes. Although this has 186 grams of sugar, two grams of protein though. And to put this in perspective of how insane this is, this is equivalent of drinking five coaks or eating 19 crispy cream donuts. And listen, I am not here to fear a lot of people like, oh, 186 grams is this wild? You guys should never. I mean, it's a drink. It's a treat. We're not going to be drinking this every day, right? Hey, mind your business. I am Crumble's biggest fan and will I be trying this drink? Hell yeah, but I just want to show you guys how much 186 grams of sugar actually is. Welcome to the lab. Okay, that's my kitchen. Since you all know that I have ADHD and I'm a visual learner, I don't really know what 186 grams of sugar looks like, so I'm like, why don't I do that myself? Because I have a lab code. You know? I mean, not that this has anything to do with a lab, but like, let me just pretend that I'm a scientist, please. So I have my scale lab. Welcome to my lab, my laboratory laboratory laboratory. We got the bowl and the sugar. So let's see what, 180 grams, oh my god, sugar look like. Okay. This is a big bowl, by the way. Okay. This is only 35 grams, oh my god. This is like almost the whole package, 63 grams. No way, 89, 105, okay, 186, let's go for it. Holy shit, almost there, 100, one more, 186 grams. That is wild. Now look at how big this shit is. This is a huge bowl. I can scoop this bitch up. This is what's in that drink. Now what happens when we actually take the drink, fill it with water, is this drinkable, actually hold up. Give me sugar and water. How is it so spilling, oh my god, how is it so spilling, more, okay, let me collect some of it because I dropped this on the floor, on the counter, I dropped this shit everywhere. Okay, let's fill this up. I want to see if this is actually drinkable, you know, oh my god, this is not going to be drinkable. This is crazy. And I must stir this, I guess, how can you actually, oh, okay, you know what, I'm going to give it a try, I'm going to try it. That is exactly what you would expect, an insanely sweet drink. You know that joke that everyone makes diabetes in a cup, this is literally that joke. If you're looking to get cavities, I got you right here, this is going to be your best friend. Here, have a sip. Anyways, thank you for coming to Moa Lab and please don't come again. And the drink that everyone is talking about, the one with 186 grams of sugar, it's called Crazy Cousins. And it has Red Bull Sprite Pineapple Syrup Strawberry puree and coconut cream. And originally though, this was called Crazy Cousins because it used to be Red Bull and Mountain Dew, but they changed it to Sprite. Either they lost the license to use Mountain Dew or it was actually a cafe. caffeine bomb, combining Red Bull and Mountain Dew, that would be a caffeine bomb. And now the sugar on the other side, combined with the crash after that drink I would have been dead. I'm already tired all the time. I cannot imagine drinking this shit and then trying to function throughout the day or like what if I had this at 8 a.m. And I know they say a line is healthier than this shit, but like what if I trick the system? What if I do the line first, trick my body into thinking like I'm doing something healthy and then dump 48 sodas in it. Okay, so I got all of them and by all of them I got one for each category because I wasn't going to get 48 drinks. I am a big back, I know that, but I'm not that kind of big back. Come on, let's be real here. But before we get into the drinks though, I know that you saw this. This was not part of the video, but it's a Dubai chocolate strawberry cup and I had to get this. And don't even bother acting surprised. You know who you're watching. Ooh. Oh, damn, guys, I think this is going to be bomb. This might be bomb. Why is it frozen? Wow. Wow. I'm going to start with peach perfect. This is the regular dirty soda. It has Dr. Pepper, peach syrup, coconut syrup and heavy cream. I have never had a dirty soda before, some about to lose my dirty soda virginity and it is humid as hell here in the internet because I'm fucking dying. Ooh, that's kind of weird. Ooh, that's like, ooh, that's good, I think. Wow, that's so interesting. I do like peach stuff, so maybe it's the peach that's tricking me, but maybe I need to stir it. Wow, that is actually good. I'm going to give this 7 out of 10, I am liking this. Peach perfect, their dirty soda, it's good. This one is called Summer Crush and the base is Mellow Yellow. Americans, what is a Mellow Yellow? By the way, this was expensive as hell. This cost me almost 40 bucks and I got the small ones. How is four drinks plus my Dubai strawberry chocolate cake cup, almost 40 bucks, Dunkin' Donuts prices are wild, Dunkin' Donuts crumble. Okay, this is supposed to taste like summer, let's give it a try. I don't know what the yellow Mellow is. Yellow Mellow, peach syrup, raspberry puree and heavy cream. Oh, bitch, it's filling. I mean, it kind of tastes like a gummy bear. Yeah, this is like giving me gummy bear vibes. Do I taste the summer? No. Do I feel the summer? Yeah, because it's humid as hell. I'm going to give this a 5 out of 10, the yellow Mellow is not doing it for me. If you like gummy bear stuff, this might be for you. And the last one, before our big guy, this is Mist call. This is supposed to be a cooler or in all of these coolers, I don't know. This has water, sugar-free coconut syrup, sugar-free vanilla, mango puree and coconut cream. It's already misty as hell, I don't think I need more mist. I think it's the mango puree. Well, I'm such a mango whore, I love anything mango flavor, mango flavor is my favorite. Guys, this is an easily an 8.5 out of 10. If you're going to get something, it's got to be Mist call. Call Mist right now. Oh, this is dangerous. And finally, the big boss. This bitch was huge and for some reason, this does not come in a medium or, wait, this is a small and this is a medium. Did they accidentally give me a large? I'm confusion here. I think this is the large, but you know what, it's America, this is a medium for sure. All the drinks, oh my god, why did I, that looks nasty, that looks like actual sewage water. Why did I open it? Ooh, it smells like artificial red bull, ooh, like a cleaning detergent. I'm not even, it smells like a cleaning detergent. It tastes like red bull, it literally just tastes like red bull. I'm going to give this a four, this was the most disappointing one, four out of 10. I mean, will this fuck me up if I drink this whole thing? Yeah. Wait, is this low sugar? It doesn't taste as sweet as I thought it would. I, Loki, expected this to taste crazy sweet, this does not taste that sweet. So then, I mean, it definitely tastes really sweet, but not like insanely sweet for 186 grams of sugar. Maybe they just didn't put enough sugar in this one. I'm saying that for my own sake, for my own mental health, because I don't want to be thinking that I'm drinking 186 grams. What if they accidentally forgot to add half of the sugar in there? They probably, yeah, they were tired, they almost likely forgot. Oh, bitch, it's a fucking, oh, there's a fly, oh, thank god, it's not a bee, let's get the fuck out of here. Final thoughts, would I get these again, probably not? The crazy cousins was such a disappointment, I was expecting something better for all that sugar, but would I get the mist called again though? Hell yeah, get the mist called, trust me on this. I just got some strawberry puree on this bitch. Oh my god, that's good. I'm up in the rating of this. This goes like a six out of five, the twin tower, twin crazy cousins. And the next trend that was happening while I wasn't here was dot cakes. So there's these popular cakes that I believe started in New York where they just add sprinkles to your cake, and they're calling them dot cakes. And people are going wild, there was even a line to get to this bakery as if they had never had a regular cake with just sprinkles on it. And this started a whole trend. Dot cake matcha, dot cake kuchi, dot cake sushi, dot cake daycare, dot cake vibrator, dot cake this, dot cake that, and dot cake Tesla. I even saw that lady that doesn't say stuff, she did a dot cake chipotle. And on the sprinkles on top, supposed to be sweet, yeah, I don't, I think I'm going to pass on this one. So sugar with I yeah, even she's disgusted, let's get it by it. Oh, that's got to be nasty. It's so crunchy. This is also the why does it look like rainbow diarrhea, like someone home, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for putting that image into your head. You know what this is giving imagine setting your makeup, then forgetting it's even theirs. The new groupie setting missed from Maybelline New York, Zelda missed technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours with flexible all day comfy grip. No tightness, no stickiness, no residue, just plum, dewey hydrated skin, that still feels like your skin. Try new groupie setting missed from Maybelline New York, maybe it's Maybelline, biscoff cheesecake 2.0, but biscoff cheesecake was amazing. This on the other hand, it's just sprinkles. You know why people are buying these cakes, by the way, besides the sprinkles, it's not for the taste because they say taste artificial and these cakes are very expensive. I think like a small one cost about 10 or 11 dollars. And the thing about these cakes is that they're extremely fluffy with the juxtaposition of the sprinkles. What? Me when I try to sound fancy, the thing about this dot cake is that the colors are giving its quizzid and the jack's zipposition of the nonchalant, non-binary and environmental well-being, is that it's fluffy. I'm not going to lie. You know what makes this so good? What is it? It's the fact that it doesn't taste homemade at all. It tastes like Betty Crocker. There's like shit. Oh, Betty Crocker. And here's like a childhood birthday party. And you know what else? This is something that's so good about this is the container situation. It's a container. I know. And so level on the top is very, very satisfying to eat. This is kind of crazy though. The thing about these dot cakes is that they don't really taste homemade or good. It's that the container is kind of round. Yeah. And like you can fit a cake in there, which is so surprising. Like I've never thought about fitting a cake in a round, like isn't this cool guys? It's actually a cake. And you know, those things on top, they're called sprinkles. What in the fucking Patrick are we doing people complimenting the king that it's fluffy? Not that it tastes the good, but like it's love good guys. Love it. Love it. And to me, this even. the nastier I saw someone who was eating dot cake butter so basically just butter covered in sprinkles. Let's eat dot butter cubes. I'm so excited! I haven't ate butter in so long. Yeah, let's keep it that way. Dot cubes. I'm so excited for his bite. The sweet sprinkles with the salty butter turned out to 10. Here it is. Dot water. You know what I noticed though? Every time she tried swallowing, there is a cut. So I'm going to assume and I'm like 99% sure that she did not eat any of these. Or if she did, I feel like I think that might have been ice cream. So if she was actually eating these, it has got to be ice cream. Otherwise, why is there a cut every time she tries to swallow? She never shows in this entire video eating the whole thing because there is no way she ate 10 blocks of cheese covered in sprinkles. And this is coming from the girl who was lying about her age on TikTok. So I'm just going to assume she never swallowed any of it. I just spent $90 on dot cake. We're trying vanilla chip and chocolate. Here's yum, I like the chocolate chips and I see and this one is just chocolate. It's a cake with sprinkles. I'm sorry for this in advance but I'm going to take a shit. Put sprinkles on top of it and sell it to one of these guys. And for our second viral TikTok trend, the dot cake, I actually had my parents get these for me. They're paying over $20. Now do you think, do you guys think they were happy about that? They spent over $20 for these dumb ass cakes? And this one looks fucked. What the fuck did they do to this one? Like is my girl okay here? What did it actually? Let me do that thing that everyone does. Well, hold up, let me do this one. It's working. I mean, it's doing something, I guess. Even when I'm trying to seduce you, look, I got that viral dot cake. Wanna come over to my house? What the fuck was that, can you hear that? People were screaming like they were in a scary movie, damn, I hope they're okay though because I gotta eat this dot cake real quick. Okay, so I actually have two flavors. One chocolate, one is vanilla, which one is chocolate? God knows. Okay, yeah, this is chocolate, obviously. It smells like a cheap ice cream. Can you hear those wrinkles? Cause this is bad. This is bad, bad. I'm talking like the cheapest cake that you could think of, like dollar store sells better cakes than this shit. This was 11 dollars, one of them, maybe it's just a chocolate one, oh my god, please, wait. Why is the vanilla one a lot lighter? The vanilla one is like a lot lighter than the chocolate one. Please let it be good. I mean, were they saying that it wasn't good to begin with? So then why are people buying this? I don't get it, I mean, I'm buying it because I want to test it for you guys so you don't have to go ahead and buy it. But anyways, vanilla time, this doesn't taste like anything. I hate to sprinkle this, cause there's like no flavor. All I'm tasting is just sweetness, oh my god, what a fucking scam. This is what you guys are buying. This is bad. Like I'm talking, it's so cheap, there is, I don't even taste vanilla. Over here I could taste a little bit of chocolate, but then again, everything goes so cheap. Bitch, what a waste of, I have never been so, you guys have seen me eat so much food, but I've got to say, this is the worst one. This is the cheapest thing that you can ever, it's so bad, oh it's so bad, I feel, oh my, okay, I'm disappointed, I'm sorry, my mom's home, my mom's home. She's been working at a grocery store lately, like these insane hours for 4th of July, she's probably tired as hell, you know what we're gonna do, we're gonna have her try one of these. She's like tired as hell, but we're gonna hold up, we need her professional opinion. It's a good or bad? Oh she's saying it's too sweet, you don't like it? Oh the chef does not, the positive chef does not like it, okay, it's been confirmed, it's shit, oh it's too sweet for her. This is the reason that US will never get free healthcare because you don't see Europeans or Australians or whatever country or continent having free healthcare doing this shit, like America, I love you guys, but what are we doing? We are never gonna get free healthcare, pissing me off. And a trend that I believe was truly the most useless trend that I've seen and I've seen people eat horse candy and that shit was much better than this, it's a deconstructed lattes. And if you're wondering what the hell is a deconstructed matcha or a deconstructed latte, and actually I had to look this up because the explanation is a little more complicated than I thought, and a deconstructed latte is actually a latte that has been deconstructed. But it's just people playing barista, like they get older ingredients in a small or a bigger cup and then they put it in a main cup and then they mix it. Instead of just getting a regular coffee that's ready for you to drink, you want me to do extra work? Why? You want me to do extra work and pay more money? Because believe it or not, this shit is expensive. To get your lattes or matchas is a lot pricier than getting an irregular latte that had the work put in there. So why on earth would I pay extra to do something extra when I'm not getting it without the less extra work? This makes my brain hurt. I'm going to give you guys the chance to guess how much a deconstructed latte is because these prices are actually wild. So where I live, a latte is about $7 and I've seen people pay anywhere from 10 to $20 for a latte that's not even a latte and only deleted video. I love when people post their videos and then they delete them. So you know, you know she got so much hate because of this deconstructed latte for paying $20. Meet new grippy setting mist from Mavily New York. Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours, with flexible all day comfy grip. Plump, dewy, hydrated skin that still feels like your skin. Try new grippy setting mist from Mavily New York. Maybe it's Maybelline. My own coffee at home, but I ran out of creamer, so the coffee's not bad. I think I still want to stick to making my own coffee. Let me get this straight. You ran out of creamer that's like $5 to $8 depending on what creamer you buy and instead of buying another creamer, let me buy a $20 deconstructed latte. You know what, it makes sense. It checks out, yeah, you guys, I ran out of creamer and I'm like, I got to buy my several deconstructed latte, and I don't buy a deconstructed latte, but I tried the latte and actually it is not going to like don't walk and don't run, yeah. And you think some of these people are actually doing this to save time? Because when you're an influencer, you are not that smart and I feel bad because they thought that building your own latte would take less time. No, I am genuinely being serious because I saw some people, they were getting like they were late for work and instead of getting like a regular latte, oh shit, I'm late. Let me get this coffee and I got to go to work. She buys a deconstructed latte with like four or five different cups and she ends up spending so much time in her car, trying to set up this fucking latte while she is late for work. You know what though, her job, I don't give a fuck, I'm sorry, cancel me, hate me, I don't give a fuck. I think that I'd actually have to do my own matcha here at 9.20 in the morning, so let's do that. Sweetie, let me break it to you and say that you don't have to, have you thought about not? Like no one is forcing you to do this. I love how when they record their videos, they're like so well I have to make this deconstructed latte, I'm like I don't know. I don't want to do it myself. Spoiler you don't. - So, pour the mocha in first, it's so crazy. - So crazy. - Wonderful. This is like cold cream foam. - Uh-huh. - Oh my gosh, that looks so good. Oh my gosh, that is so good. What's happening? I'm scaring myself. - Uh, I'm not having fun. Oh no, I don't like this. Wow, that cold cream foam is insane. I'm going more. - I'm not having fun, but you spent almost $20. - Is it an crunch? - That's fantastic. Oh my goodness. - It took me so long, but it's so good. It's so yummy. - How on earth are people thinking that this is going to be quicker than just getting an actual latte? So, 15 ingredients on the side and one latte on the side, they took a really good look at it and like, wait, which one would be quicker to drink? And I love how they make it seem like it's something scary. Oh, I'm so scared to try. This is like, sweetie, it's a mocha. - I'm scaring myself. - I'm so scared, I'm so scared this mocha seems so like devilish. You know, like it just came out of like devil's pussy, but like, should I be trying it? You know what, might as well. - It's a mocha. You know what was the most surprising thing about this trend? And I low-key never expected this shit. So someone orders a deconstructed latte and instead of getting the cream for her coffee, she got this. - That was dressing. - That's also dressing. - So not one, but two, imagine you're having a terrible day and you're trying to build your deconstructed latte. And instead of the creamer, you get dressing. What if I already put that, but without even smelling it? I put that in my coffee, like I'm trying to drink my coffee, and I smell ranch or some shit. That would piss me off, 'cause I already spent $20 on a deconstructed latte. - Construct my deconstructed mocha with me. - Deconstructed, deconstructed. How about we deconstruct that ass? Are y'all hearing yourselves? Deconstruct my deconstructed, constructed, non-constructed, vegan, free, constructed, macha, cruelty-free, deconstructed, constructed, on the construction. - Well, now it's in detrived. First, the ice cup, a little cup of the mudge. Why am I giving Italian the cold food? - You're not. - I bought this white a few hours ago, so we'll see if the cold foam holds up. Oh, this is from Scandinavia Cafe. I'm so excited. - What the fuck is she doing? - Oh, that was really stupid. - Yeah. - We agree. I'm gonna get serious for a second, hold up. What do I feel like people are doing this because they miss cooking mom or cooking pizzeria? Do you guys remember those games back in 2000, something like these where you had your own pizzeria or your own barista you used to make drinks? I think they still exist to these days and people still play those games. Louder, sorry. I think that's what's happening here. People miss doing their own shit in those games, but at the end of the day, if you miss having your own restaurant or like miss being a barista, sweetie, I think Dunkin' Donuts is hiring right now. Clock in at Dunkin' Donuts, work for free if you want to. They're definitely desperate to hire some people, so like just clock in, clock the fuck in. But seeing people make their own deconstructed, constructed latte is probably the most performative thing I've ever seen. Never in my life did I think that we'd make making coffee performative. Bitch, just drink your coffee. No one gives a fuck that you got a coffee from a construction place. You know what a bigger flex is? My dad is actually a truck driver that works in a construction site. Construct that, bitch. Why does this look like peak performative? Hold on, is she using a filter? Did I just see a filter? Oh my God, I think it's a filter. To use a filter when you construct your coffee, this cannot get any more performative. Maybe she didn't, though. I'm sorry if you didn't. I just think you might've. Okay. The way. Oh my God, girl, it's just milk. What is that coffee? No way that's coffee, right? I don't think that's. I don't think that's gonna be coffee. It's coffee. Wow. Is that the reaction? Did I play that part, right? Like, hey, if you're watching this, please tell me I played that part, right? I'm trying to act as interested as probably like as shook as possible. Is that like one of those creamer thingies? No, wish you got that as well. No. What it is? Wow. I love the face reactions. You know what, though? Who am I to burst her bubble? Or who am I to stop her from choking on some dick? If she's enjoying it, I'm being a party pooper. I'm sorry. I'm just, I'm, you know what? Enjoy your deconstructed latte. People were saying, though, that this is very wasteful like they're contributing to environmental stuff. And I'm not gonna sit here and be like, you are wasting three cups just for one coffee as if I'm like recycling Jesus. And I'm perfect and I don't use plastic cups at a time. Like, have you all seen what other countries are doing their plastic waste? The fact that America tried to switch to a paper straws while the rest of the countries do not give a fuck about plastic? Come on, let's cut her some slack. I get it wasteful, but like, I am not perfect or better than anyone else. And if you didn't enjoy this video, you know what to do. Like, subscribe, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So, let's make a heart for them. Sweet. I think she just made her heart with her neck. That's how much she loves you guys. And also shout out to someone at VidCon. They give me the OEI like spinning cat. Look at it, it actually spins. This is so cool.