Crotchless and Crack Out

Hi guys, really quickly before we start the episode, I had actually, or we, me and Connor had recorded the whole episode without me realizing that the episode is actually going to come out on the big day, on Connor's birthday. So I want to take this time to say happy, happy, happy, happy birthday to a good, good best friend of mine and the most amazing colors, Connor W, what a light in my life you are, love, light, an amazing person, a massively amazing person, happy birthday, my love bucket, and we are going to celebrate big in a few weeks when he is in the studio in person. But for now, I just wanted to say happy, freaking birthday, what a man you've become. Let's take it from the top. Hey guys, welcome back to Broken Connor makeup podcast. I'm broke. I'm Connor. We are in my house. We are in NYC. We're, they say, if you're going to make it in the big city, you need to learn how to shake it. And that's just what we've been doing here. Well said speaking of shaking it, I want to flag to the visual watchers that I'm wearing a standing up shirt today by accident, which means that I am not supposed to be sitting down in the shirt because it is a size too small. And I am anyway, and that it just is what it is. And it's just something I'm flagging. Thank you. It's from TikTok shop, of course. It's where I get all my clothings. And so the sizes are not, you don't know what you're going to get. And so this one is a few sizes too small. So I'm also feeling like woe today in a way. Me too. That's like, I've been off of my routine. For like five days, I've been flew into Philly last Friday. Yeah. Picture that. I'm picture a girl flying in a Philly last Friday, if you can. Paint me a picture from LAX. Just try and picture it. Yeah, I got it. Then next that Saturday, bam, my brother gets engaged. Boom. And I had real I had forgotten the when we had spoken about how unhappy we were with everyone getting engaged last week. I wasn't putting the pieces together that my brother was getting engaged in a few days. So I wasn't talking about him, by the way, couldn't be happier. Right. That would knock me off. That would knock me on straight onto my ass. So my brother and new sister. No, genuinely. I thought it was going to be like, whoa, my younger sibling is getting engaged. Like, I'm going to buy a shovel and bury myself. But I truly happiness. You can see it in my eyes. I'm being sad serious. And then try and picture me and my brother's engagement on Saturday. Okay. Sunday we go to the VMAs. Yeah. Try and picture girl like me on the red carpet for one second. I can't begin to explain what a what a feature film that was to watch. The two of us and the company we kept on the red carpet. I have to explain something to everybody. Okay, I don't even know where to. I don't even know where to begin with Sunday. I have two words. Humiliation ritual. Nailed it completely. It was like, uh, personally, like we were both completely just song that of our mind. What do you mean? Just like we weren't even upset. We were just like days didn't confuse. Were you not broke hits me in this? We were in we were as so cool as it is. No, I do want to say like so cool. So cool. Should not like, I don't even we shouldn't we didn't deserve to be in there. So cool. Shouldn't have been there. So cool. Grateful. bloated. Thankful. Grateful. Comes out. It starts at thankful. I'm thankful on the way. bloated as well. Yeah. Sick. Um, I do want to say the moment leading up, I was just like, I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Like, and then Brooke hit Brooke hits me. And she goes, I go, what? Actually, hit me in that like little, little fat part of the bottom of my stomach. And I go, what in the world? If you touch me there, it, it brings me, I could be so calm. I could be in a red light there. It'd be bucket. I mean, I could be submerged in red light. If you hit me there, I go to so angry so fast. I didn't know. I made you angry. You hit me right there. And I said, what? And there's, there's someone just breathing down the back of Brooke's shirt. Just so close to her. It was like they were velcroed to her back. What was that woman doing? One, two, three Ariana Grande. It didn't feel like someone was breathing. It felt like a gust of magic. Yeah. It was just, and I go, a fairy dust. I go, oh, wow. It was, I mean, I want to really emphasize in line behind us. No, like, and then she was like, excuse me. And I was like, yeah. Hey, of course, go ahead. Hey, you go, you go in front of me. I will say, I'm not even like, like, Ariana Grande, I obviously, that was one of the people that like I saw and I was like, you know, you're real? I didn't know that. And then Sabrina as well. We are right. Both of them look like little girl dolls like, she just like, whoa, she touched my elbow and my eggs in my win away. Yes. Exactly. Like what Christ used to do. But the carpet like truly like I, it was a hundreds of people in a dark room kind of being pushed. It wasn't and screamed at by the one woman controlling the carpet in a baseball hat. Very mean. I'll be honest. And if she's watching very mean, like push, like hitting like she wanted to punch everyone pretty pretty intensely. You could see it in her eyes. And I'm sure that was very stressful, but she was pretty mean to me. And so Brook, Brook got to the point of insanity where she was just like, well, this is awesome. Well, this is great. This is awesome. And she says that. She says that for the for the fifth time, pretty loudly this time. And who turns around for I didn't I wasn't saying like that. I was like genuinely like trying to like self-suit. I kept saying like this is amazing. This is like children said. I was like, this is a movie. You know, you know, that's what you said. Oh, this is a dream. Oh, this is a dream in a movie escape. I was talking to myself. I wasn't talking to anyone. No one was listening. I wasn't even talking to someone. Well, I had, I hear you, but it's just like there's so much. There's nothing to say. It's just like you're saying different versions of like, well, this is a, this is a freaking feature front. Like, you know, this is the golden age. And someone had their last one. Someone didn't like that. So, um, chance the rapper turned around. Okay, brook. One of the nastiest looks I've ever seen anyone give it. I mean, he was a lot like, I didn't plan. We were saying just utter nonsense the whole time. And he had been fed up. Because it really was like everyone pushing shoving. We're getting screamed at. So grateful to be there shouldn't have been there like amazing movie. And it was very stressful. I think everyone was handling it the best way they could. I was saying it was a movie chance had gotten to his last straw. Yeah. That the young woman had turned into someone really frightening. It's just everyone turned into someone that they're not proud of. We got some picks back. That's, oh, that's the whole, I almost forgot there's a whole damn point. I was a whole damn point, but they had sent Connor down the carpet. And it was my every intention to go right after him. Because I was, that's my, oh, my every intention. They had me go out after, after Lotto. So, and then I was going to go after fibula. And then they stopped me. And then I obviously can't advocate for myself. So like 30 minutes passed. And like fibula is waiting for me at the end of the carpet. Are you keeping fibula? I don't know. Is that fine? It's like, I feel like you're calling you my government name. It's like making me. You were fibula in that moment. I said Connor would on the, to me, you're me. It's always been fibula. They're like the same dude. Connor Wood was in front of me. And he wasn't though because he was 30 minutes away. And then I don't know who went in front of me. But I think it was someone pretty famous because they kept stopping. Oh, I know who was leaving me to just stand there on the carpet. And this was where the Himalayan ritual came in. Himalayan ritual came in of just having to stand there with like and do not. I know who I have a video of it. Who is it? It's, it's the Maria's went to before you. No, the person after me. Yeah, it's, um, or before me, I meant, um, it's, uh, doesn't matter. Oh, my gosh. Hershey goes with one name. And she's like an artist. It was really hard. And I will say I'm so lucky to have been on that carpet. It was, if you ever see me on a carpet again, it's because I was drugs and, and I pulled there and I was unconscious. So that was amazing. Do you think I can say that? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it was just like completely anxiety and dishing. That's what I meant. Um, um, just some people are more anxious and introverted. Yeah. Than others. It's not. It's not for the week. It's actually not for the strong either. It really is. You knocked it out of the park. No, I was shaking really hard and I kept going, "Why did you put me after Lotto?" And they were like, "Fuck, keep walking. You're free. You're lucky to be here." And I was like, "Yeah." Anyways, it was great. Oh, my God. What was I going to say? Oh, and our commercial went live, and they gave for the feedback on the commercial with Doritos. That was so fun. That was hysterical. I don't know. In the episode with Kat, I told everyone about the fan. Okay. I was wondering if everyone was commenting about the fan. I was like, "Did we talk about the fan?" No, I think I talked about the fan when there's that moment in the commercial where there was like air blowing on us in Connor, and I like couldn't understand the direction that it wasn't knocking us all the way back onto our houses. You might not smell anything, and I was like, "Okay, yeah. Immediately. It's completely terrible." So I'm glad that y'all got to see that. That was definitely the like, commas version. The commas take that we did that they included. But that was really fun. I really want to talk about our wardrobe. What about it? Oh, for Doritos? What about it? That you weren't wearing underwear during the fitting? Yeah, that was bad. They put. So I. I have like. You can't really see it. We should take the photo. I mean, you took a photo. Well, include the photo. So basically. Basically, they had us try on all these clothes, and I ended up with a pair of like parachute pants, a vintage parachute pants, and I didn't wear underwear. The thing about these pants is that they zipped from like the front and the back. I didn't know that I zipped her in the back, so I was like walking away from casting the apartment and like wardrobe pitting. It was unzipped to like the bottom of my crack from the bottom of my crack to the top of my crack. And it was just like. Like crack. It's just full one. Like I'm walking away just in my parachute pants and my crack is just out. Yeah. And broke starts laughing. And then broke sends me a picture. Up around it. So a lot of people didn't know that there was a scene in Doritos commercial, where I'm in a red dress, and I'm wearing red tights with it. And I just kept it to myself. I told Connor, but you can tell him I can tell it around about the tights. I think you should tell him about the tights. Okay. They were crotchless. They were crotchless tights. And it was amazing. So. Brook hit the Doritos red in her crotchless. I was in my crotchless. Brook went crotchless for the Doritos carpet. Yeah. So yeah, in that commercial, it was in my crotchless. You wouldn't know because we had. With the crotch crotchless eye. And I was crack out. Yeah. A lot of people might not have known that. What else? I couldn't walk. So you can see in like the first second of the commercial when I'm walking to check into the VMA's counter. I'm sumbling pretty intensely. So, but it was fun. We had a great time. I. That is like. The commercial is like something that I'm like. That was awesome. I don't know how I'm going to put that on my wall because it's a video. I need to. You can take a still image of it to Framebridge. I have to. I get to go to Framebridge today. My frame is ready. Which one? I'm framing my tote bags from my tours. Oh, I love that. Yeah, I think it's going to be cool. How many? There's three, but I'm sorry. I obviously only went and got one done. Because I'm lazy bones. Why wouldn't you just take all three? I freaking don't know what's wrong with me. Something just fear. Are you going to take the other two when you go pick up the one? Yeah, probably in the next six to eight months. Yeah, that stresses me out. It's hot again. Are you hot? No. Gabby, can you crank that down one? Oh. It's not hot in here. But I'm feel free to turn the air on. I really just wish that I now hang on before I say this because I don't want. I wish that I had like. I wish it could be like I'm on my period and that's why I'm in a bad mood and I'm sweating. Like I'm having heat flush. Are you hungover at all? Because I am sick. You had one drink. No, it's not even hungover. Also, no, I didn't. I was drinking before I saw you. I got hungover like 11 p.m. We went to dinner with Brooks. It's Gabby's 21st. Gabby, when do you come say hi? We've Gabby Aver here today. The big two one and the two one chair here. We have here. You can. What can we talk about? Yeah, it's okay. Don't worry, champion. We liked it. No, don't worry, champion. We had the big 21 yesterday and Gabby got extremely toe. Extremely toe. No, she didn't. She can handle her alcohol. We had a great cucumber cocktail though, right, Connor? I had two. Yeah. It was really great. It was fun. It was super fun. I held Brooks book in my hands. I saw it. In a way. You smell like cookies. That might be me. That's Gabby. Oh, it smells good. What do you have on? Some perfume. Some of the La Vanilla. It's really good. Thank you. It's something you might cookies after that cookie. That was awesome. We ordered two cookies and what was it toffee pudding? Yeah. It was really good. I was just like phenomenal stuff. Yeah, really good. We had a great night. I'm hungover in the sense that I'm just like anxious and I had been drinking for a few. I had a few drinks over the days and my body is just very sensitive. Just everything like that. You might be hungover too from Osmosis. I don't think I don't get hungover by Osmosis. I get hungover on my own accord. I was shocked that I even had wondering last night because of my levels. Last week, I had four shows in Washington, D.C., which fabulous. I really like Washington, D.C., and then I had four shows in Nashville, which were fabulous as well. Fabulous. Yeah, just a little fabulous. You like Nashville? I really like Nashville. Gabby's moving to Nashville. Yeah, he's moving to Nashville. On Sunday, the 14th, my big move in day. Oh, wow. That's fun. I did something completely insane that I've never done and I don't think I'll ever do again. I stayed up for my flight at 6am. So I finished the shows in Nashville. I wasn't going to do anything, but then I had some friends in town in Nashville, randomly. They really come out with us and I was like, I guess we'll go out because the car picked me up at 4am and I'll stay up all night and I'll just go straight into the car. I'll never do that again. I was like sitting in the shower, listening to fast car by Tracy Chapman, like trying to make myself cry. Well, didn't you did that and then went right to the VMAs, correct? And then I went out and after the VMAs to an after party. That is like not human. I obviously had to leave the VMAs early due to like extreme exhaustion. Yeah, she missed Conan Gray. I was really upset about that. Kind of the reason you went. Also, you would, she refused to talk to Conan Gray. He was, he was interested. I know. I do. I try. Enches from us the whole time. I do love him very, very good bit. I miss somber too. Somber was. What did somber sing? Can he sing it? I don't want to. Yes. He sang that and that was emotional. Can you believe a 19 year old wrote the lyrics? Don't tell me. I don't want to look, no, no, it's not the undress. It's something about the eye. In a room full of people. I look for you. I don't want the man. Oh, I don't want the woman. I don't want the kid of a woman. I love to have. I don't want another guy's eyes to be on the face. Oh, fuck off. A little kid. I don't want another one. I don't want your eyes on my world. Listen to what somber wrote. I don't. Maybe you should, maybe you should listen to what somber wrote. Let's look it up. Try and be a little sweeter. My sister's here. I don't want the eyes of another man on the kid of a woman that I'm in love with kid. I don't know how much more clear I can be. Is he, you know it? I don't want the children of another man to have the eyes of the girls. I won't, the girl I won't forget. What did I just say? You were close. What did I just say? In so many words. Yeah, it was the message. The sentiment was the same. And that's all the languages is communicating the sentiment. The sentiment of what you said was there was a fire in the Bronx last night that killed 20 people in a fire in the Bronx last night. Did it? Due to the heat. Did it? Due to the heat. That was too hot for their bodies. Did it? Answer me one thing, did it? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what you said. Try to say it again. Oh, sorry. It's hot as it's hot as really. I'm gonna go back to my space. The fire in the Bronx last night that killed 20 in the Bronx is right now. Okay, I will come back when I have my under my under my niche. Can you pump that down? Just one. I had shazards here. 65, if there's just not a chance in a hell. - My extra padding keeps me warm 'cause of my excess shirt. - What do you mean your extra padding? - Like just like the padding of my body. - I don't want that my future children to have the eyes of the woman I loved. - No, God no. I don't want my kids to have the eyes of another man mixed with the woman that I love on the kid. (laughing) - What are you not getting? - He's talking about it. (laughing) - What are you saying? - I don't know, like you. (laughing) - Listen, what are you saying is that he doesn't want any kids? (laughing) - He doesn't want the woman he loves to have a kid with some other guy's eyes. - Like no shit. - Exactly no shit but- - No, the eyes have nothing to do with it. He isn't one of the women that he loves have a kid with someone else. That's it, that's what you're saying. - No, he doesn't want her eyes on a kid with another guy. (laughing) - I agree. - I don't want the children of another man to have the eyes of the woman that I loved. That's it. - That is it. - God there. - I know but he's just saying like just like I, like yeah, I don't have, I like I want you. - Well said. - He should write his song. - Sombra is the tallest man that's ever lived and I'm worried about it if he's gonna keep growing. 'Cause I don't think- - Sombra's like. - I don't think he's just turned 20. - I don't think he's, yeah, he's not done growing and he's using up so much resources. We don't have, like water is, fresh water is running out. - He's six seven. - I am very, his head was almost hitting the ceiling of the UBS arena. He needs to be careful too 'cause the way he bends it's almost a 90 degree angle and I can't, you don't want to be at a 90 degree angle often. - He reminds me of the thing outside of the Maga Martia. - Marcia. - The- - Out of the side of the Maga Martia was clouds. - I mean, he pulls it off though, man. He's got to be all of 45 pounds. - He's goals. - Is he American? - I just felt the same, like what kind of name is Sombra? Like from what country of origin is Sombra? I don't know. - I don't know either, he feels Canadian to me. I know when someone just gives you Canadian vibes. - He grew up in New York. Wait, what is Sombra's birth name? - New York, like New York. - But don't look, what do you think Sombra's birth name is? I'm gonna go with Samuel. - I'm gonna go with like Michael, Mikey. - Ooh, Shane Michael. - Boosts. - Boosts. - Shane. - Shane Michael. - Boosts. - How did he get Sombra? - S, O, if there's an O and boosts. - I mean. - He's Irish and Ashkenazi do, Ash. - Cool. - Lower east side, oh yeah, okay. This is all making it. - Is that true? - Yes, there's a website called, [email protected]. - You wanna see if we're on it? I'm sure we're not. - Sure. - Seems legit. - Should we submit a celeb? - Oh wow. A.J. Mishok. No, not gonna be on there right now, champ. Okay, Conor Franta. - Ooh, what is his? - What? - Scottish, I can see him being-- - Oh, look at that picture of young him. - I just saw Polish-- - Polish Czech, German, English, Irish, swish, German, Danish, comma, white. - Okay, so all of those besides Scottish. Cool. - Yeah, that was great. Yes, Sombra was real. Sombra was just so good. - I can't believe I missed them. Even though I just left, but couldn't, I couldn't hang. Sleepy girl. Sombra wouldn't understand. - I know. I wonder how much sleep he needs to fulfill his bodies. - I feel like he doesn't need a lot of sleep. - He is, he fulfills that like Timothy Chalamething, but his pure stature is just like, careful. I feel like he could fold in half like a lawn chair. He fold him up like his legs could fold up to his chair. - I'm sure he knows how to navigate his body. - Yes, he's been in it. - Yeah. - How, 23 years? - Yeah, 20. - 20? Good for him. - Yeah. - They invented him last Thursday, by the way. I had not heard of Sombra and then all of a sudden like this is like number one, he's getting a moon man. - Oh no, Sombra, I've been like on Sombra talk for a really long time. - That's fascinating. I had not heard of this. - Undressed was really big for a while. - Undressed came on my radio station 'cause I was just in a royal odysse. And then he auto-populated on there and I was like, I've been listening to this radio station on Spotify forever. And then now there's this young man and never in my wildest dreams when I said 20 years old. - Yeah, he was 19 when I first heard him. - You were in high school. - Yeah, but he's ascended. It's amazing. I'm happy for my really like the guy. - Flarshar, when do you leave? - New York tomorrow. - Damn, what time? - In the morning. - Damn. - I have to get back to my cats. I like feel very sick being away. - Yeah. - And then there's always like on the first am here, I'm like, ah, I'm moving here. And then on the last day I'm like, ah, I can't ever come back. - That's crazy 'cause today I walked around like this morning and I was like, this is so dreamy. - Charity ice? - Yeah. - I was having paradise. I was walking in my stilettos. I was walking in my stilettos in power suit yesterday. My stilettos. And I felt like the business bitch. And I felt amazing. And I could hear my stilettos on the concrete. And it felt like the soundtrack to my life. - Yeah. - And it was beautiful. And then it went downhill pretty quickly in terms of anxiety. - They can tell you whatever you want. If you're holding two pieces of paper walking down the street with your headphones in, you can't tell me shit. - Two papers? - Yeah, two pieces of paper for me. I'm walking down the sidewalk. I was like, they don't know what's on this paper, but it's going from point A to point B. Granted, it's a prescription for medical grade rash. - You want to tell everyone about your exema? - I already told them. What do you mean? - Wasn't it not exema? - Oh, yeah, y'all, it was poison ivy. It was just spread across my body. Thank you. - Thank you for letting me know. - Which is good. - Yeah, that's good, yeah. - Exema's much more chronic. - Sometimes it's like a wolf and sheep's clothing. And that was the opposite. It was a sheep and wolf's clothing. - A total sheep and wolf's clothing. - I didn't need to go all the way up to like my B and C in my armpits though. - Yeah, but it did. - It made it, yeah, it really was like, this is-- - Can I ask something? If poison ivy is being as contact, can I ask what is on your B and C's? - Yeah, do you not? Yeah, I touched my balls probably. - With the poison ivy? - Probably with my hand and I like itch the poison ivy. - Okay, is that how it works? Like it can be like-- - It's like contact, yeah. - Yeah, but I was in contact with the plant. Not contact with something that made contact. - My mom beat. I shouldn't even tell everybody that like my balls were itching. - It's fine to say. - Hey, B and C listeners, my nuts itch. And that is the title of this episode. - Hi, B and C listeners. - My nuts itch and it's broke. (laughing) - Actually don't like the word nuts. - I like nuts 'cause it's a little bit more disarming than like balls is just kind of like, "Oh, what are you?" Six. - When I was a preschool teacher, we had an issue with the kids saying that they were gonna kick each other in the nuts. - Oh, so you just have like a lot of-- - Mostly the girls. - That's funny. - Yeah, it was funny, but they couldn't do it. - Well, they didn't have the facilities. - No, I just mean like it wasn't like, we had to put an end to it. We did. It was getting old. - No, 'cause it's just not appropriate to be threatening to kick each other in the nuts all day. - Well, was it with. Malice, or was it fun? - I would say inherently threatening to kick someone in the nuts is an active violence. - Was it at the rat, or was it like, "I'm gonna kick you in the nuts." - It was, I'm gonna kick you in the nuts sister. But even then, we're not kicking each other in the nuts in preschool today. - Re-school. - Yes. - Okay. - It was mostly a problem on the monkey bars. - Yeah, I could see that. - They were like flinging. - You don't want to be elevated in kicking each other in the nuts from that eye. - Yeah. - I met some teachers this weekend and put national and DC that said that all the kids, like the five year olds are on TikTok. - No, no, they're not. There can't be a way. - No, they were saying the five-- - On what devices? Their iPads? - I probably, yeah, and they're all saying six, six, seven. - They're all saying six, seven? - Six, seven. - What's that? - So what sucks is like, I've reached the point of my life. We're like, I genuinely don't, I don't even give a shit enough to look into it 'cause it's not, I'm not, I don't think anything in my life would be affected by me being filled in on that. - They just, you six seven and they kind of move their arms. - It's like a dance. - Six seven. No, it's not a dance. It's like a little. - It's like a shrug. Is he, do you know what it is? - It started like in basketball or something, like some guy's head. - Okay. - I think it was like a mellow or something. I don't know. One of them said like, uh, six seven, and then people started doing that. - Okay. - Um, okay. (laughs) Like, skippity toilet. - Yeah. - I don't, I don't, I didn't even get that yet. - Skippity toilet. That was, remember, that's when we did the, are you smarter than a fifth grader? - Oh. - Skippity toilet's old. - No, I know it's old, but I didn't get it. Like, I didn't get it. - No, I don't get it. But it is what it is. - Um, I have a love. And you know who it is. - I'm looking at it on your phone. - Oh. - Really? - Yeah. - Wow, I put that in the notes. - I love him. - Oh, interesting. So Brooke has a crush on Mr. Fantasy. - In an amazing way. - Okay, so Mr. Fantasy is KJ Appa, and he's, he's fucked that state. - I think that might be Appa. - Appa? - I don't know, because I saw him the other day when I was driving to the podcast. And I was like, holy, holy shit. Like that, it's truly the most beautiful human I've ever seen. And then I was like, how do you even start to think about saying it's last name? And then the Google pronunciation thing said Appa. - I don't think it that's right. - So I don't know, it might be Appa, but it could be Appa. - Things KJ Appa, KJ Appa. - I honest. Let's, I think it might be Appa, but. - Oh, it's Appa. - It's Appa. - Okay. - I felt like after I saw him, I was like, I gotta get this guy's name right. He was the original person that I went up to and I said, I haven't seen you in so long. - Yeah, I did some sort of music festival. - Back Coachella. - Yeah. How did he react? - He gave me the biggest hug. And he's like, I miss you so much. - He's like, I miss you so much. - And then I was like, I'm messing with you. And he's like, oh, I was like, okay, bye. - Aw. - Yeah, but he's really nice. - No. And so Mr. Fantasy is his alter ego musician personality in which he, the fake teeth look so real. It's like, this is so hard to look at to me. - And I have morphed into finding it sexy, in a way. There's something like, it reminds me of awesome powers. - Were you attracted to those powers? - No, I wasn't. But there's something sexual about it. - About Mr. Fantasy? - Yes, he's like a sexual being. - We have to check you in somewhere. - No, that's just a fact. Like, you can be attracted to it or not, but he's a sexual entity, right, Gabby? - I agree. - Yeah. - What? - He's a sexist. He's a sexist. - So why are you like, he's a sexist? - Gabby, come back, you have to come back in here and explain what you're saying. She's saying the way-- - Why are you trusting me? - The way he, well, I needed a sexist. - He's a sexual person. - You need to get a sexist. - A second of pain. - The way he's like, moving his body and stuff like that. - The man, sorry, and all that stuff. - He reeks of sex. - He uses it for sex appeal. - Do you think awesome powers is attractive? - No, but that was before my time, Connor. - She's like sick. - Oh, God. What, the Austin Powers is before my time? - There is something sexual about Austin Powers. - Yeah, but that is not saying he's sexy. - Yes. - That's it. - Yeah, I agree. Mr. Bannesy has that shit as well. - Just like the way he looks and talks and moves his body. - I'm not saying that you should be attracted to him. I think it's probably common not to be attracted to Mr. Fannes the way he's portraying himself. I'm finding him attractive, especially knowing that it's KJ. - I'm finding the idea of it attractive. I'm not finding his actual being attractive. - I am. - I'm fascinated. I would love for someone to look into this. - I also just want to say that I asked Brooke if she was watching Mr. Fannesy a while ago and she said, "I can't even look." - Well, it's changing your mind as a thing. - She said, "I can't even look at that gal." - Yeah, that's not-- - No, you know what changed it for me? - The song. - Yeah, it did. - It's so good. Talent is my biggest thing. - Yeah. Wait, so he released like a real-- - Oh, I know. - Yeah. - Oh, you're right here right now. - Okay, we'll call you, we'll tap you back in. So he released a real single. - Are you kidding? - I'm not, I don't, Mr. Fannesy was not, like I'm not this target audience. I actually think of-- - It's like, you know, home alone by Ansel Elgort. - Yeah, I don't-- - That type of-- - Awesome. It almost reminds me of rock your body by Justin Timberlake, X, home alone by Ansel Elgort. It's like-- - Is it for a movie? - X, 6, 9s. - Wow, I think I would like it. - Oh, there's no doubt in my very small pea-sized mind that you would love, Mr. Fannesy. - Wait, is it for a movie or something, or is it-- - No, he's, he's pursuing his music career as Mr. Fannesy. - But some people are-- - Come back. (laughing) - I'm tapping back, I'm tapping back in. - I'm talking back, be back in. - Do you not remember his old TikTok account? - Fee-fee-fee. - Very vaguely. - What is Fee-fee? - You look up Fee-fee because Fee-fee was the same kind of thing. - He's kind of in a hysterical guy. - He's a hysterical, which is how did he, he's always looked this gorgeous and been funny. So I'm wondering what is happening. - Yeah, so on his old thing. - Oh. - Fee-fee. - Yeah, I remember Fee-fee's queen. - Yeah. - Fee-fee was like-- - So he's always been like this. - Yeah. - And apparently he did music. - He did music before as regular KJ. - Wow. - Oh, this is a fascinating development for KJ, Mr. Oppa. - It's genius. - Yeah, he's a genius. - Yeah. - Is he, oh, he's in something with Madeline Klein right now. - He is. - It came across my desk, but I did fall asleep right when I started. - He is in something with Madeline Klein. - Fee-fee's queen. - But he can't get back into that TikTok, he said. He's completely locked out. - Oh, so yeah. Wow. Yeah, I really love Mr. Fee and I see him. We've got to listen to his song and bonus. And so I obviously, I posted on my story. I'm like, this is the best I've ever heard because it is. And everyone was like, wait, like I think that might be KJ Oppa. And I'm like, maybe yeah. That's like everyone thinking that we might be identical. - Well, everyone's like trying to like crack the code for me. And I'm like, no, like yeah, that's the point. - I knew. - Yeah, thank you, though. - I've been new. - Yeah, but it's exceptional. The song, as well as Mr. Fantasy as an entity. - Hmm, I'll look into it. - I would encourage you too. - I got you. - Okay, well that's cool. - Okay, moving on from Mr. Fantasy, Connor. - Yeah. - In order to celebrate fall in the new Glade holiday collection, we have some fall themed hot takes that we're gonna debate. - Yeah, okay. I wanna just say I wanna, I think this kind of goes into, like I'm scared I'll never be happy or I'll never be content. The way that, the way that the weather right now is perfect. So it's like, we've reached the point. This is my absolute, absolute peak right now. Is spring into summer and summer into fall, where I'm sweater and I'm shorts. Summer and to fall is the most magnificent time of the year. - You know how people get like seasonal depression? - Yeah, I do know that. - I don't realize when I have seasonal depression. I do realize when I have seasonal happiness. Like I feel like I could run through a wall. I feel like, like I'm just like, I'm like, I'm making conversation with someone just 'cause they looked at me. Like I seem like an insane person. I'm just like, like that. I can't put it into words. I'm like this. You know what I mean? - How would you describe that to the audio listeners? - Oh shoot. Content, pretty content. It's, it's, it's, but then like what goes up must come down 'cause I do know that what this means for all of us is that it's gonna start being dark at 4.30 PM. That it's like I get, I get in bed when I get dark. So I get in bed at 6.45. - I'm excited for that 'cause I have the, I have the guilt of the sun still being up and then I'm like, I should be outside if the sun's out. - I'm excited 'cause I think it will, I get, I like it for like a few weeks when I'm like, ooh, I'll get in bed, I'll get cozy. Maybe I'll read a little bit more. - Yeah. - 'Cause darkness seems more of like a reading time than like when it's like 7 PM in light, that's TV time. - I guess you could be outside too. But I'll just do the TV for now. - Yeah, I'll just be doing the TV. - But yeah, I'm excited about that. - I always, yeah. - But then I will not be excited in a few weeks when I will get very depressed. - Yeah. Do you see seasonal depression? - Like so bad. - These are regular depression. - Regular and then exacerbated by change in the seasons, but nothing like it was when I lived in the East Coast. - Boston, it was like I don't, I pray for everyone there. I really do. - I pray for everyone in Seattle. I got so depressed in Seattle. - I've still never been to the Pacific Northwest. - What? - I know. I've also never been to anywhere in California really. - I also wasn't talking smack about Seattle. I really enjoy my time there, trust. But, If I lived there and it was like, as as rainy as it is 24/7, I would, I would, I would have to be locked up. Oh, I would love a few rainy days, but not, yeah, obviously not that many, but okay, next hot take. You have a good one. Yeah. Well, first of all, remember last year I was like, I'm going to start leaning into like the hot like Christmas vibes. And I was like, I want to be like a Christmas guy that lives in a Christmas season every day. This is crazy because I don't like the colors. I don't like the color purple. I really don't like the colors. Christmas is green and brown. No, I'm talking about fall here. I'm about to talk about fall. I'm about to shift gears into a fall. I didn't realize fall is purple. Fall is purple in orange. Yeah, I guess you're right. I guess you're right. And a little bit yellow. Autumn, that's a completely different colors game. I'm not going to even get into that. Autumn is right in brown. Well said, but I think that is you're not going to like that. I don't think you're going to like this. I like candy corn. I'm looking forward to that. I'll be leaning into candy corn in a big way. I'm like, get a bowl. I could see myself with a bowl of candy corn. Now, I told you, somebody goes down and start packing on the pounds because I got to have two or three dinners and that candy corn bowl, that's for me. I'm maybe my upstairs neighbors because we get along really well, but I like I'm a candy corn kind of kind of sort of as a certain genre days. Veeve about it that I like. And I would never yuck your arm. Do I do find it yucky? Candy corn? Yeah. What part? The way it tastes. And the way it feels on my mouth. Whoa, I love it. Yeah, I don't care for it. At all. Have you tried it? Yes. Okay, but go off sister. I am going off. I'm actually pretty secure in my my candy cornyality is the fact that I can I can eat it and no one else really wants it. I'm like, I'll take it off your hands. I'm shocked that I like that, but I don't like like oysters. I don't see the similarities between candy corn and oysters. Dad last night was trying to shove. He's a feeder muscle. He's a feeder down my gullet. He is a feeder. Freaking job. He is a feeder. No, no, no. Have one. I was like, I actually already finished my whole meal. It's like compose. You need to dip those french fries into my bucket of clam sauce. And I was like, Mr. Abbott, I really don't want to do this. Are you calling it Mr. Everett? No, I don't. I never said his name. I just said, no, thank you. No, thank you. No, thank you. No, thank you. No, thank you. No, thank you. And he was putting his hands into the bucket. Yeah, I mean, there's nothing you can do. Like, except eat it, unfortunately. Okay, this is a take from someone else. Pumpkin spice is perfectly rated. What do you mean? Like, it's not overrated. It's not underrated. It's perfectly rated. Like, it's not over hyped. It typed the appropriate amount. Yeah, I agree. I think it's like a, it's something I smell and it smells like fall. And I like pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving. I don't know. We sound like MD foodie boys right now. Good. That's good. That's good. They're killing it. And I don't know. Pumpkin is just like not my favorite more of a sandalwood girl. Okay. It's just that's my cozy. You're so classy. That is my cozy scent. Pumpkin spice is just like something like cinnamon and nutmeg, but not, you know, it's like trying to be someone. It's not. Okay. I didn't know. Yeah. I mean, you, you did. You probably liked a lot of people's. Yeah. Or I'm at least pumpkin spice should wait and talk to over first. Okay. Well, you know what? Kind of a little bit of a roast and I get to take that roast that you just made and take three dollars off my blade pumpkin and ginger candle because blade has turned this into a game. For us, for all of us. And if anybody listening wants to join us in the blade pumpkin debate, just click the link in the description and you're your funniest pumpkin roast. Yours are what you've heard. And unlock three bucks off the entire blade holiday collection. Glade has plug-ins scented oils for long-lasting fragrance candles for cozy nights aerosol room fresheners for quick refreshes or automatic sprays for bigger spaces. Glade has a scent for every fall personality. If you're all about pumpkin and ginger, they've got you. If you'd rather lean cozy with warm apple and spices or Embers and sandalwood, you're covered too. Roast, save and let your space smell like your version of fall. I need to see if I if I. Hello, that's not okay. Glenn Powell posting. What seems to be a complete nude on Instagram as I open my phone. But the caption of this natural natural he's wearing like a that's not on natural skin suit. Holy is that on natural? That's not right. No, it's I think that might be natural. No, he's wearing a no, I think that that's a joke. Yeah, it is a joke. Sex politics money. Not that. Business etiquette. No, it's it's not about. It's not funny. Oh, my gosh, the there's a slide and put put Glenn and Mr. fantasy in front of me. I'm sprinting into the arms of Mr. fantasy every day. It's always been him. I don't know. Glenn's been rubbing me the right way recently. You've been getting rubbed by Glenn in the right way. Glenn has been rubbing me down. Glenn doesn't rub me. He doesn't rub you yet, but neither did Mr. fantasy until recently too. If Glenn comes out with a number like Mr. Fantasy, like Mr. F, then we can talk. In the meantime, let's take some space. GP isn't doing anything for you. He know. He never has yet. He never has yet. I like this. I like this. It is it shocked me, but it's different and I think it's fun. You know, that guy Nikki Bell that does the roast of people on the red carpet. He's like, oh, yeah, no. Oh, yeah, I was in one last night. What did you get? I passed. I passed. That's amazing. That was someone tagged me in it and I was like, no, I was like holding my breath. Now I didn't get any accolades. She just said, I like the boat. That's I like the ball of time. That's all you can get. Also, I was not in there. I also was in Vogue. That's insane. And you were like worried about your out for the whole time. Well, because from the waist up, my VMA's outfit looked like I was a Mormon senator. And I was like, oh, this hand good. But then I forgot the pants were a little bit like damn. A little bit somber. They made my legs look long. I you looked great. I know what you were going on about. I was scary because all I was seeing was my hair looked so small. Your hair looked small. Yeah. What do you mean? I don't know what I you know what I mean. I'm doing a new hairstyle. I got my racial season three touched up. Nice. Yeah. Thanks. But now I'm doing a very Amy Winehouse. Yeah. I like that. Do you see my earrings? My new cherry earrings? I saw it's cherry season. Everyone keep that in mind. So keep that in mind. It is cherry season. Come on. Hit it for me. Did you read weathering heights? I did not read weathering heights. Weathering? I have I don't necessarily know. So I'm just going to do it. I don't think it's very pretty. Is that picking up on the mic? Kind of like traffic meets traffic meets Carrick. There was just like meets blaring horns. We were able to capture a Carrick right outside my door this morning. Oh, and Brooks. Book is golden. It's like. Do you hear that or no? Okay, cool. Okay. It's like some people say it's with some people say weathering. No, it's weathering. It's like a mixture. It's like weathering heights. Well, I don't I've never just say it quick. Weathering heights. Yeah, I don't care. But I didn't read it. Now it being Jacob Alority Margot Robbie with a number by Charlie Xiex. Why and why are they mad? Because it's like a it's like a classic and it's being turned into the boo-boo chocolate. Yeah. Do my of movies. Yeah. I am a piss. I'm excited. I think this is cool. I don't know. I've never read the book. Exactly. But it sounds like they're going to make like something that's like a really tragic love story or whatever. Just like like digestible for the masses. I'm sure if I had a connection to weathering heights, I would have something to say, but alas, I've never read it. Oh, it is exactly like gone with the wind. Yeah, same. Okay. I have actually never read a classic besides Frankenstein, which I really enjoyed. Scarlet Letter, I did not enjoy. Did you? No, I've never read any of those. I need to start reading more damn book. Something bad is happening to me. And someone said them, oh, I'm reading. I started reading my book. I told you that. Yeah. How's it going? You just got to find what you enjoy. Yeah, I actually started enjoying this book, the creative act, because I read one passage and I was like, yeah, that's a good thing to take with you. Okay. What was the passage? Just lower the stakes. What you're doing is not life or death ever. And I'm like, that's so true. Yeah. Am I like turn in turn in your thing because it's not this doesn't have to be your best work. This time it's a stepping stone to your best work. And I go, ooh, I go Doritos fan to my face. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, it's great. Like lower the stakes. I like - That a lot. - Yeah, that was okay. I did, I got more done that day than I've done in six months. - Carry that along with you. - I will, yeah, I will. I also, you know what else it had me do? This book that like, I clowned on 'cause I hadn't cracked it open yet. I started filming all my sets and my shows. - You have never posted a clip of you doing stand up. So are you gonna start? - Yeah. - I will love that. - I'm lowering the stakes. - Lower the freaking stakes. - Yeah. - It's literally, no, that's serious. - I'm in my love. - It's comedy. - I'm love. - It's the least serious thing in the world. Not that your craft is not serious, your craft is incredible. - Oh, art. - But bars, bars, but bars. - It's not that serious, it's comedy. Oh my God, I'm getting that tattooed above my ass. Oh my God, that's so well said. - I can write it if you want. - Yeah, oh yeah, in the end writing. - Actually, you can tattoo it. - Okay. - Okay. - Okay. - What was I gonna say, damn. Yeah, I'm gonna start posting clips, but it is hard to figure out which one I wanna post first. And I almost wanna start a Mr. Fanny, so you account just to start posting my clips, but I didn't just need to go on my show. - You should, yeah. Maybe I should post them. - Yeah, he should. - He's an amazing guy. - He's an amazing man. - So, I have a, would you rather question for you? - No. - I know your answer, but it's something I was thinking about a lot last night. Would you rather, and I want Izzy to answer too? Would you rather never be nauseous again or never be anxious again? - Never, I would rather never be anxious again. - I know, I figured that story. - I would genuinely be president of the United States. 'Cause I wouldn't be anxious, you know? Like, I would lead us into the golden age, but I don't know, that sounds crazy, but if I had never had anxiety, I actually wouldn't want to be president, but I feel like the reason I wouldn't want to be president is 'cause it would give me a lot of anxiety. It's a lot of pressure, but if I wasn't gonna have anxiety. - Who would you be? - One power. - No, I thought I was thinking about this a lot, as I was falling asleep, 'cause I was having some of just the most crippling anxiety. And in that moment, I would do anything to never feel this way again, except maybe I'd rather not be nauseous. I was just going back and forth with myself for a while, 'cause I was also feeling nauseous. That's what was happening. I was feeling very nauseous and very anxious, and I was like, if I could not feel one of these, 'cause they're both so bad, which would I not feel? I was going back and forth for a while. - You being so, so in such a bad state that you started playing what you were having? - I was playing what you're having with myself. I truly believe if I was never anxious again, I wouldn't have much to offer. Yes, that would be incredible, and I would live a very normal life without getting in my own way, but I would not have a book to write. I would not be funny. There's so much that I wouldn't be. That being said, I might like it a lot. I might really appreciate the beat. But when I'm nauseous, there is nothing I wouldn't do. I was telling Gabby, there's like, I would pay six figures to never. And if I had seven, like I would pay, if I had disposable seven, I'd throw that out there too. Like I would pay so much to never be nauseous again. - So to answer my question. - Yeah. - I would rather never be nauseous again. - Oh, interesting. - Because I think that my anxiety is what propels me forward. - Would I like to get it under control? 100%. - They have pills. - I'm on all of them. Been on every single one. And then some up that dose too. - I might have to dabble. - So your answer is anxious. Is he what's yours? - Nautious. You'd rather never be nauseous. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Because when I get so sweaty. - Anyway, it's something to think about. - Yeah. - My favorite thing that like older people say now, is like, all you kids are anxious these days. - They do say that, don't they? - Yeah. - And it's like, guess what? You probably were too, just untreated. And that's why you are the way you are right now. Drogatory. - Yeah, with your house that costed $20,000. I wouldn't be anxious either of my house costs $20,000. - But also inflation. - Yeah, but it's like income. Like wages have not followed inflation. So it's like, it's not that case. - Okay. - I don't think. I mean, my cheeks are talking before me, 'cause I'm talking out of my ass. - My dad was saying last night that some of the dumbest things he's ever heard in his life are from this podcast and some of the most brilliant things he's ever heard. - Some of the most profound things he said have come across his desk are on this podcast. - Yeah. - Some of the dumbest shit he said, sometimes I roll my fucking eyes. I go, okay, well, pleasure meeting your person for the first time. - Be sweet. Yeah, he said there's really both sides of the spectrum. - You say some of the dumbest shit I've ever heard my life. Now open your mouth, let me shut this clam. Then you're gonna go live. - So that was good food though. - Yeah. - I am really eating recently. - Yeah, I'm not. I've been slamming down some big shit with these fat fucks. - It's fine to do if you want. - I liked that last week. I said 14 times, I'm so off. Like I apologize to everybody and they're like, we like who, we liked it. And I'm like, I felt strange though. Like I felt like. - 'Cause you were being genuine. - Yeah. This is fun. This is supposed to be fun. Like going to sleep, last night I was like, I can't believe I get to wake up and just like crack up. I'm really looking forward to cracking up. - I crack to have really hard, pretty good bit in a major way. Like can I just say one sentence without the 15 lead ups? Anyway, I laughed earlier. That's what I was trying to say. - Yeah, we both, I think we both laughed. - Yeah. - I also was so excited because Brooke and Gabby were coming over. So I had a collab piece with a cleaner this morning. I was doing laundry. - I had a cleaner. - Oh my God, yes. - It's just like shut up a bit if you're able to live. - A lab piece with a cleaner. - What are you talking about? - And by the way, it's an epidemic sweeping the young nation. (laughing) - It's not okay. God, I'm just pointed. We can see Izzy, the corner, the stone face. - It's not even cracking a smile. I'm seeing stars. - The epidemic of people coming in and the actual cadence of the way people are speaking at when I meet people at my shows is full blown via Tristan and Channing or us. There were two people this weekend that I met that said, they were saying, came across my desk and then they go, are they co-workers? - No, I saw the sweetest thing of someone saying like they were like with a new group of friends or something or meeting new people and someone said something about their very fat ass. And then the other girl was like, wait, what'd you just say? - That's what they said. They were co-workers and they go, I'm sorry, like do you listen to Broken Con and they were like, yeah. And then they became friends and they came to the show together. - Oh, the one I saw was not that y'all care. Like someone was talking about their fat ass and the other person was like, wait, you have fat ass too? And then they became friends because if they're not, they're fat asses. - They're huge. - They're like massive giant asses. - Massive asses. - Plus asses. - Special. - Yeah, it's really pretty. - It's heartwarming. I wanna say really quickly, so I just got a bookshelf, it's in route, it's gonna go right there. You can't see, but it's gonna go next to-- - It's gonna go right there, y'all. - My first book is gonna be, well, it won't be my first book, but I'm gonna have Phoebe on that shelf. - Yeah, that's sweet, Connor. Every month, April, no, I won't. It will be on that shelf, I don't know if I'll be here in this apartment. - It'll be on the shelf, that's all that matters. - It will be on the shelf. - It will be on the shelf and there's so much more that I can say about that so soon. Period on God. - You're fat, secretive ass. - My very, very closed fat lips that I would like to fill her in will be able to speak a little bit more about it shortly. (laughs) - Thanks. Well, I'm excited to play you, Mr. Fantasy. - Yeah, oh, I'm looking forward to it in the bonus. And I will see, you know what, I almost, I almost invited Henry, Henry Henry. - Is he here? - He's here, I almost invited him to like pop in because he was so well received last time. - He was, tell him to come for the bone. I don't know if we have-- - Gabby, you might like him. Gabby might like him. - He'd climb him like a tree. - He's-- - He's about the size of somber. Henry, I mean, all his bags. I don't think he could fit through the door. - Is he bringing all the bags? - I don't know if, yeah, he probably has nowhere to store all his bags. - Well, let's check in with him. And we'll check in with y'all in the bonus. We love you, thank you so much. - Goodbye, ciao.