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Cristina Mariani & Whitney’s Fake Plants

1h 13m 16s

Cristina Mariani & Whitney’s Fake Plants

A new Caramel Apple 5-Hour Energy Shot is introduced as a sugar-free, fall-inspired beverage featuring crisp apple and smooth caramel flavors. It's promoted as a refreshing, orchard-inspired treat available exclusively online for a limited time via 5hourenergy.com or Amazon. The segment also highlights other products, including Helix Sleep mattresses, Cachava meal replacement, and Shopify for launching online stores. A lively discussion covers personal habits like grooming, fashion choices, and cultural observations—such as perceptions of Asian identity and driving styles. The conversation includes humor about gifts, with a preference for personalized, thoughtful presents over cash. Additionally, the host announces a new special appearance on Hulu in San Diego, adding to the mix of promotional content. The overall tone blends product promotion with casual, conversational humor and personal anecdotes.

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13665 Words, 68900 Characters

English
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You could hire the guy your neighbor recommended, but I'm pretty sure that's just his cousin. Do we know if he's licensed, or does he just stone a ladder? Listen to your home. Go with Thumbtack. Upload a photo or voice note, and we'll diagnose your project and match you with the right pro for the job. Thumbtack. We know homes. Hire the right pro today. Hey, everybody. Bobby Lee here, and I'm very excited because I'm shooting my first special for Hulu. And it's going to be in San Diego, California, January 16th, 2026, January 17th, 2026, and it's at the San Diego Balboa Theater, and the tickets are on sale now, and come check it out. I would love to see you there, and I'm super excited. And we're all going to be there. We're all going to be there. Support Papa. Papa. Tito Bobby. Yee-haw! You've never done that before. We got brand new merch for this Black Friday. Collect the merch. Give it to y'all. Give it to y'all. Give it to y'all. Give it to y'all. Yeah, so I don't like that. Wait, but is that true? No, it's a happy episode. I see you through it right now, dude. Check this out. Okay, so here's last week's episode. I can wave to everybody in the wide. You purposely do that. Oh my God, so funny. Dude, you are perfectly positioned. You purposely do that, dude. Can we angle this differently? I can't do it. Right above your head. Yeah, I can't have the ghost of George. You know, the people that move things are really expensive, so if you want to get a whole new line here, we can move that, just angle it slightly. That's so funny. No, I'm going to open that, and I'm going to put something on that mirror. Yeah, I can't do it. You saw a comment. Yeah, I saw a comment like, it bothered them, that's why. It bothered them. It bothers me to see him in that reflection. I'm not being, yeah. I don't like it either now that I know. Don't wear a handcuff. That's me out of social media, you know. If it's ever a shot here, it's just Gilbert's face. Hey, thanks for making it to my birthday dinner. Yeah, I have a sore throat, and now everybody has it. Yeah, so you want me to get your little baby sick? No. Well, then, what are you doing? Also, who has a birthday dinner in Long Beach? I spent the whole weekend there with my family. It's too far. Because that's my old hood. It's where I like to eat. It's where all the good stuff is. Chinese? Lobster? No. Yeah, I'm not, listen. When we met, I drove so many times to Long Beach. You did, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think all those count. Oh, you like stocked them up. I stocked them up. I stocked my Long Beach. That's like when Jessica gifted me Crocs in February one year, and come my birthday, she was like, remember those Crocs? Happy birthday. That's what you're doing. The Koreans, man. You guys do that. We're shifty, and we're durable. Yeah. Did you give her anything for her birthday? Yeah, I got her a bed frame. Oh, my God. Hi. Hi, come sit down. Come sit down. Please, sit down. Do you guys want cheese? No. Okay. Do you want some? What kind? Oh, I don't know. It's really good. It was what was in Whitney's house. Oh, yeah. It would be good cheese. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whitney only gets the best cheese. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Sorry. It's okay. Have you not eaten all day? No, I've been eating. Okay. Cheese. Okay. You don't eat bread, or? No, I, yeah, no. I eat a little bit of cheese. I eat a little bit of everything. Do you use the cans, or no? You like headphones? I can. She was looking for an actual can. We use our cans, though. Is that better for you, or no? You don't have to. You don't have to. It feels kind of weird. Okay, well, then put them down. Okay. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Are you mad at me? Oh, why? Why would I be mad? I don't know. You guys already started. I didn't mean to. No, no. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you're in Austin time. Oh, no. It's just, there's traffic. I didn't expect. I'm not used to L.A. traffic. Okay. And you're staying at, are you going to say where you're staying? Oh, yeah. I'm staying at Whitney's. At Whitney Cummings. Oh, nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is a nice, there's two gates to get there. Oh, yeah. There's a bunch of codes. Yeah, yeah. A bunch of codes. Yeah. And I remember all of them now. Yeah. I finally got it. And you're out in the wild on wilderness. There's nothing behind you? No. Just mountains? I feel like I'm in rehab. Yeah. Yeah. It has a rehab vibe. It does have a rehab vibe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very peaceful. And gigantic dogs. How many gigantic dogs are there? Three dogs. Yeah. Two boys and one girl. Are they nice? They're not allowed to interact with each other. Well, the boys just keep pooping everywhere. Yeah, yeah. And they keep having to clean up dog poop. And I think they're doing it on purpose. I don't think they do that usually. What do you mean? But they can tell. They can tell that I'm not going to, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's like. But I thought there were other people living there. No, it's just me. And I mean, her assistant is there sometimes, but not while I've been there. Oh, so that. So that's the condition for you to stay there. Clean up the poo. No, I just actually the dogs. No, the dogs are really well behaved. They shouldn't be doing that. I've met them. I love them. Yeah, they're really nice. I think I'm just timing it a little bit off when I let them out. I don't know if they're going to poop or if they're like in cahoots. They're like, let's just wait. Because what is she going to do? Right, right, right, right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, you're fucking Italian. Yeah. You can't do an Italian accent. Can you do one? I can do a better Asian one. Then fucking do it. You're not going to do it. Can I? Yeah, yeah. I'm allowing you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're going to do permission? Yeah, give me one. Oh, sorry. We do say that a lot. You're Korean, right? Oh, I just come. I just come. Yucks. Well, Koreans are an easy one to do. Because all you got to do is add uru at the end of everything. What do you mean uru? Like, oh, daguru. That's true. Oh, that's true. No, like you just said uru. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, hamburgeru. Hamburgeru. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Do you have a lot of Korean friends? No, I just, I dated an Asian guy. You told me. Yeah, and he told me all the different Asian accents, how you can like distinguish them. He was Chinese. He was half, though. Half Chinese. Yeah, so don't, he's not. But his mom was Chinese. He's Chinese. So I feel like the mom deterrence. I don't know, I don't, you know. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know? That's what, that's classic Asian is mom is Chinese, dad is white. Yeah. Yeah. Usually the dad is white. Yeah, that's right. Your dad, white. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mom, real brown. Real brown. Real, real brown. Real, real brown. It doesn't get browner than that, I'll tell you that. It doesn't, no. Yeah, yeah. My family, my Filipino is brown, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've seen the whole family. Dark, right? Dark, dark. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. We love it. And not in a racial way, you know? No, we love it. I love it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. At night, hard to see. Christina Mariani. What? Christina Mariani, welcome to the show. Thank you. Yeah. Nervous? No. Okay. No. I know you. You're a little nervous. Yeah, but somebody told me to reframe it, to not say that anymore. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm going to be like, no, I'm excited. Did Whitney say that? Yes. That was who said it. It was Whitney. Because Whitney has, she does that. She'll tell you how to behave. Well. No, she's done it to me. I swear to God. I know. You need to be told. What? You need to be told how to behave. I sure need to be told, but she's the teller. That's all I'm saying. But it kind of makes sense, though. You just reframe it. It's from the same emotion, kind of, nervous and excited. One's just positive. Oh, I see. So you're excited. I'm excited. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You never want to be excited. Did you ever go to the improv Halloween party? I was waiting for my friends to get into town. Because this is what you fucking said to me. I knew you were going to text me back today. I was like, he's mad about that. This is what you fucking said to me, all right? You go, I'm going to go to the party. to the improv party yeah i don't want to go like oh you're like come on go right i go for an hour no you're not there i did you went i was there for an hour this is what i mean i didn't you said i know you and i was like fuck that no you said you said remind me when you go and i didn't go until like 11 or 12 so i was waiting to but then i was like oh last time it was that late you were like now i'm gonna go home yeah i'm old yeah so that's why i was like oh i won't even text him because it's too late now but i didn't know you actually went early i thought you were waiting for me i got went there at 10 is that not well for a halloween party well i was waiting for my friends to get in from bakersfield so we could all go together and it took them forever to get there okay i'm really sorry one yeah i was the only one not dressed why don't you have to dress up well it's great because i i i wore my um dodgers hat so i just said i was a little shohei and they're like oh and then we'll go like this see but i feel like the last time you dressed up you were yoko oh no yep no yep you were yoko a long time ago i was yoko with you when i was dating you i was john lennon you were yoko yeah yeah that was a good one that was a good i thought you looked really good i'm very yoko ish as they say you know um some of the beetles i know one beetle yeah kind of yeah kind of do you guys know each other yeah yeah how well pretty well tell us more kaimei yeah uh we're from texas boom nice we go for the rangers boom i don't know you guys ever hang out no why her well she's too busy right yeah you are a busy bee yeah yeah well that makes kind of busy no you're very busy okay you're all over the place yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm sure you're busy too yeah but we are all right kind of busy i don't know everybody has stuff going on but how long you've been doing it comedy no living i don't know that comedy man four years four and a half years four and a half years it's a quick rise no uh yeah i mean that's what everybody says but to me it's the longest i've done it you know yeah that is true that is true but from four and a half years to be where you're now you're headlining yeah how is that oh it's great it's it's really stressful because i'm figuring it out still so when i first started in march headlining i only had like 30 minutes but then now i'm up to like 50 minutes so it's like really having to like build yeah yeah yeah and it's stressful because every show i'm like oh i want to have like a really good headlining set for but it's all like a work in progress still sometimes you get off stage and you go i don't like that one yeah sometimes i'm like man i hope they feel like i hope you know but i feel like after every show i'm like ah i could have done better than that right you know well that's i think that's normal our condition yeah yeah i remember you said that you your your dad your family's friend came out to see you oh yeah oh my gosh and you you thought you didn't do good well it's because whenever there's people that my parents know or like even that i know for some reason i get like more in my head about it because i know like my you know my dad wanted me to be a lawyer and so now i have that in my head they're thinking like oh larry's daughter was supposed to be and that's what i'm thinking they're thinking the whole time you know yeah yeah i'm like talking about like whatever i talk about yeah i just get a little bit like ah man i hope my dad doesn't hear yeah but i'm sure he's proud no um i think he he's now this year yeah yeah yeah yeah the first three years i was shown that's everyone you think you think that i um when i told my parents they went congratulations no it's more like what are you doing yeah you know i mean yeah it's nothing you're gonna be poor nothing yeah yeah but you're proving them wrong no oh yeah i mean i i'm headlining now and i'm do yeah they they're not mad at me anymore so that's good oh that's good yeah yeah like my dad he wanted me to be like a landscaper is that what he does no what does he do he works at mcdonald's what he works at mcdonald's he's a manager oh he's a manager at mcdonald's a store manager yeah yeah i know what they are no there's there's a difference oh what's the difference the manager is like a shift manager but he's a store manager it's big time it's big time stuff yeah yeah yeah yeah he can it's salary yeah he doesn't own it though he doesn't own it but he's a store manager yeah and and that means what he manages the store oh wow thank you so much so if you're in dallas texas you need some chicken nuggets yeah yeah you go in there for free meals oh yeah you do to see your dad yeah does he have like a quota he's allowed to give out like food like is he he could just give you food anytime he can give me food anytime that's cool so that's what i take it but why did he want you to be a landscaper because of my sister's husbands and they do well yeah yeah they're good landscapers yeah cappers yep let me say can i get that over again just take it back everyone they're good landscapers good landscapers yeah how do you be good at that you trim faster like comedy you just take time it takes time yeah you're still not too late for you you could be a landscaper should i be a landscaper you seem like you would be good at it what does your dad do he uh works with cars well now he used to own an auto body shop but now he teaches at a community college auto body shop yeah i mean yes i think it's cool like i'm in your dad's class i would tell me what your dad would say if you have some wires i'm the hood's open he would be like i think you should learn how to drive first my dad's kind of racist okay so that makes sense i see i see i'm kidding yeah i know how to drive man you know yeah me too yeah who's better at driving asians or females everybody love it what is that can i grab some cheese yes please that's why i brought it i have one question okay it's okay bobby had one too yeah go ahead go ahead no no no you go first well i know an answer so i think i think let's just move on oh okay yeah yeah well i just want to know like like water at starbucks oh yeah it's the best i like to get the trend to water cup that's um it must drive them crazy well you know what it used to be free and i think because i went in so often they started charging for like you need to make a purchase why don't you get a bottle of water no i like the starbucks water they filter it like three or four times so it tastes way better yeah it's a thing you guys should try it so you wait in line and you go can i get a venti water well most of the time i'll get a coffee too did you get a coffee today no today was just oh you would drive me crazy i swear if i worked at that starbucks i could no i would say no i don't care no get out of here no but you know now i have to buy something so i'll get like a cake pop the cake pops are pretty good yeah you guys i know what a cake pop is okay i don't know yeah do you guys want some of this what is it it's banana pudding from magnolia and also some cupcakes banana pudding from magnolia have you ever had it before it's really good it's like you're gonna poopoo though i don't want to poopoo right now yeah yeah although i've been very constipated as of late starbucks triple filters its water using a process that can include a reverse osmosis system or a three-stage carbon and sediment system depending on local water quality wow yeah i told you i remember trying the water and being like why does it taste so good and then i looked it up and i saw that i'm like that makes sense so you're saying that fucking starbucks water is better than mountain valley spring water i just are they sponsoring us no okay starbucks all day baby yeah i wish they made a plastic cup that was a trenta cup so that way i could have one that i just refill instead of getting a plat i feel like i'm not helping the 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Helix Sleep. Helix Sleep. Helix Sleep. Oh my God. Do you like sleeping, Oliver? I love to sleep. Well, you know, I have three bedrooms in my house and they're all Helix Sleep mattresses. No way. Yeah, you know why? Why? Because I only let people sleep on the best mattresses on planet Earth. Really? Yeah. Why do I want to partner with Helix Sleep? You tell me, Bobby. I'm going to tell you right now, right? Why? Because I like my back feeling good. Really? Yeah, and I also like deep sleeps. Me too. Do you? Yeah. All you have to do is go to helixsleep.com and take a quiz and they'll find the perfect mattress for you. Yeah? Sounds crazy. I also upgrade them too. Really? Yeah, I do. That's epic. I'll tell you what else is epic about it, right? What? It helps with the snoring. Really? Yeah. Really? You seem like you snore like an idiot. I do. Yeah. Well, stop it and get a Helix Sleep mattress. Go to helixsleep.com slash belly for 20% off site wide. That's helixsleep.com slash belly for 20% off site wide. Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know we sent you. helixsleep.com slash belly. The Trenta. Do you get your eyebrows done? I mean, I waxed them, yeah. You have great eyebrows. Oh, thank you. So do you. Thank you. She looked at you and she at least pushed it over there. She looked at you and switched it right away to collect them. I mean, Jaime and I are men. We don't trim our, right? No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you ever trim your eyebrows? He just trims grass. And bush. No. I'm very anti-dudes that trim their brows. Like, just, even if it's like a unibrow, like, just leave it. I don't care for dudes that. Same. Or guys that wear ripped jeans. It's kind of the same thing, you know? Yeah, that's a rough one. You're trying too hard. What do you mean ripped jeans? Like, distressed? Like, purposefully distressed jeans? Yeah, me. I know, but they've been distressed over the years naturally. Oh, I see. Well, no, I mean. I am distressed. The ones I'm wearing recently are from APC, and they're used. Okay, that's naturally distressed. By some other Japanese dude. Who wore it for how long? Two years. You know that for a fact? Yeah, that's what they tell me. Because it's like the Converse that he buys. The one he buys, it's worn by, like, some young dude for five years, and then he buys them for, like, triple the price. Damn. Well, I used to drag them, remember? With coffee beans, remember? Remember, I would drive from Phoenix to L.A., and I'd put them in the back of my car, and I'd draw brand new Converses on the freeway. That's how he breaks them in. That's how I break them in. What do you mean? From all the, like, breaking? No, you're just skidding it, you know what I mean? He ties it to the back of the car. I tied it to the back of a car. Oh, I was thinking, because of your poor driving. No, no, no. No, no, no, no. But then, one time I lost one, I think. And then I was like, I don't know where I lost it. No, I remember where you lost it. Someone stole it on stage, remember? A shoe. A shoe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes they do that. It flew off into the audience, and no one wanted to give it back. You're like, where's my shoe? And someone wanted to keep it. Or one time, Andrew, we were on stage, and somebody wanted my shirt, and Andrew tore it off my body, and gave it to them. What shirt was it? It was a cool, like. Maid worn? I don't know. It was a vintage, really cool, and it made me so angry. And I never saw it again. It makes me so mad. Yeah, I remember. Do you remember? Oh, yeah. ACDC, very, very worn. Oh, ACDC. That's a wonder. It's a wonder, yeah. But I'm never going to do that again, because it's like, you know. Vintage shirts are one in a million. Mm-hmm. All right? Do you wear vintage? No. You wear brand new? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Brand new stuff. Wait, you don't like guys with ripped jeans? No, I'm just saying that it's kind of like the eyebrows thing. They just. I guess to me, it's like. You didn't earn those rips. Right. If they earned them, you know? If they did something manly. Did you earn those rips? No, but I'm a girl, so it's okay. Oh, I see, I see. I'm a standard. I don't know. Now, I'll tell you some things I do grooming-wise, see if you think it's icky. Okay. I shave all my pubes. Yeah, it's a little icky to me. Why? Why, yeah. Why what? Why do you. I'm a swimmer. Oh. Cuts down on time. I was a swimmer, and I've never shaved my pubes. Really? I've shaved my whole body, except my pubes. I swim naked. All right. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Oh, so you think that's an ick, shaving my. Yeah, because once it gets to the stubble phase, it's just too much friction, and also, it just looks like a pussy. Hmm. Interesting. It looks a little too, like, not. Yeah. So you think my penis is a clit? No, it just looks a little too, like, clean and femme. But I used to. When we were dating, I used to shave them all the time. No, you didn't. I didn't? No. Not one time? No, it was a disaster down there. Oh. I've seen your bush. I've seen bush. You've seen his bush, right? Yeah, yeah. I think that a full shave is a new thing you do. I think it's a new thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just feel cleaner. I don't do it to my legs. I don't have a lot of hair on my legs. No, you don't. Yeah. But I. So that's an ick for you guys. Let me see what else I do. Wouldn't shaving it make it look bigger? That's what they say. That's what I brought. Right? We're on the same page, aren't we? It looks bigger. You saw it? No. I mean, you did. Don't lie. No, like, I've seen it on stage, but, like. What about. I don't pull it off. I don't pull it off on stage. Oh, okay. It was just a dream then. Yeah. You grump my dick? No. All right. But I do shave my stuff, too. You do? Yeah. So is trim or fully shaved? Because he takes, like, a razor, a straight razor to it. Like, you go to skin? Yeah. Yeah, to the skin. We're so much alike, you and I. Wow. Yeah, yeah. And it just. And you guys don't get, like, ingrowns or any of that? Or they probably wouldn't notice or know what an ingrown was. I don't even know what an ingrown is, yeah. Yeah. It seems like it would be difficult to shave your balls I know. That's the tough part. Wrinkly? And soft. You have to just stretch it? I stretch it out. You don't ever nick them? Here's the only problem with shaving it. It's tough. Is I'm at the spa doing it. That's crazy. And there's all these. That's fucking crazy. There's all these crimen watching me and I'm, like, stretching out my sack. And they're like, what is he doing? You know what I mean? Wait, what? What? Why do you do it at the spa? That's the only place I do it because they have free razors. They have free razors. And also shaving cream. And in the Korean spas I go to, it's sit down wash. Oh, the chairs. Yeah, so I sit there and I always look around to see how many Koreans are watching. So I'll just go, oh, there's only three. So you wait? Oh, okay. So I do that whole thing. Yeah. And then what I do lately as well is I bring my own body wash. And this is what I do. I put the body wash on my body but I don't wash it in the shower. I just. I lather it in the steam room. Oh, I don't know if that's good. I think it's a theory that I have. Wait, what's the theory though? The theory is. You can't just say that's a theory. The soap gets in there? It gets into the pores better. I don't know if that's what you want. Do you want that? Is it fragrance free? And then when I walk out of it, I look like a martial man. You're like. And Karina's like, what the fuck? He's sweating cum. Dude. Yeah, yeah. You're like a legend there. I'm a legend there. Yeah, so I like. Just drench my body in body oil and I'll just walk in there and just steam it like that. It just looks like everybody else in the steam room came on you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it looks like. Yeah. I don't know if that theory works but I try different experiments. Well, that's not an ick. That's not an ick. No, that's like very actually. Yeah, quirky. It's like a little quirk. What about. If you were a girl in a rom-com movie, that would be your little quirky thing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I shave my arms, hair. Why? Whoa. Interesting. Because they're thick. Did you just go into yourself? No, I was just. No, no, I like it when you go. Because I've hung out with you before and you go into yourself. No, no, I just. I want to know what. What happens. So we went to Jaime. Let's just say here's what happens. Okay. Okay, you be her. I'll be you. All right, so you. Jaime, do you do anything else weird? Well, do it again. Okay. Shave my hair. No, I don't do it like that. You did do that for a second. I didn't know that it was that obvious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You went to other planets. You go to a different planet. Yeah. I do it too. My mom always says I go into my own little world sometimes and it's super obvious. But you're thinking. Yeah. What were you thinking about? I want to know that process of thinking. Nothing. I didn't even. No, no, I think you're trying to think of what to say now. No, no, no. I was just thinking about how unfortunate it is that guys can't shave because it's so nice to be shaved. And you guys. But we can and we're doing it. Well, you can, but it just seems. It's frowned upon. It's, yeah, you know. Not frowned upon, but like kind of like what we were talking about with the ripped jeans or the. It's like if I see a guy with shaved. Arms? Or even shaved chest. The eyebrows. It's just, oh, like that gay man really makes me nervous. But I get my nails done. Quirky. Oh, well, now it's. Is it ick? Now I think it's in. Now straight guys do it. - Yeah. - Oh now straight guys do it. - I think it's a, thing now right yeah yeah i'm the only guy in the i go to this place called um blush yeah it's the only place i go to now and it's they have a variety of different kinds of attendants there what are you doing he's looking at his hairy arm a hairy patch oh hi man hi man what are you am i gay the only oh dude bro why are you screaming yeah why are you screaming that and i didn't even want to say that whoa dude show us your arms okay you cut off shaving right here or no so i don't grow any hairs on my let me look at let me up here let me lift okay but hold on i don't grow hair here your tone right now dude i don't like it no hold on you know what it was what it was sf because he killed yeah you did great in san francisco now pull up your shirt please oh you know what that looks like you knew his arm the upper arm that looks like harvey milk dude that is you I know who that is who's harvey milk uh some guy from san francisco yeah good very good and it's a movie with sean pin yeah yeah yeah called milk yeah yeah yeah um no it's because i want to grow hair here yeah so it gets hairy so i shave it no i don't think it's gay i didn't mean that i just i don't know i didn't want you to feel self-conscious about it or anything i'm not gay yeah it's okay to be mostly the eyebrows when a guy has really nicely done eyebrows i think that looks good okay what about is this an egg yellow teeth i would almost rather toothless than like really rotten teeth i'd rather you roll around with no teeth because that's interesting because the yellow teeth the color itself doesn't bother me i'm just worried about like that like hygiene like what's going on with my teeth i don't know what does it smell like but you know sometimes people have teeth that have the yellow sprinkles on it yeah that's fine yeah yeah you like yellow sprinkles or no i mean i think to me it depends like if it's just like a natural tone you know like clearly you washed your teeth and stuff or if it's just you're really letting yourself go i'll tell you what the ick is really really bright white teeth why like veneers veneers veneers are guys who just like constantly get them whitened and they're so bright like to me that's like the eye color i don't know i don't know if it's eyebrows i'd rather have yellow teeth than that well so it goes it goes um no teeth yeah yellow teeth yep then took white teeth yes white teeth is third that's my rank that's insane that's my ranking that's your ranking yeah okay for a woman white teeth is number one george isn't saying nah yeah what about he's saying no teeth well your your wife is asian veneers are crazy that's crazy yeah but that looks so nice you it looks like i think those ones look kind of nice thank you some of them some of them don't look good though i agree with the veneers some of them look like uh i don't want to say any do you know the jersey shore guy yeah oh hey his veneers those ones look kind of crazy ronnie i think yeah so if i got veneers you'd make fun of me yeah i would because you have great teeth well the ones that remain yeah but like there's another one see those ones just kind of look like you know dennis the menace yeah the chick yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but he still looks good i'm not trying to it's kind of abnormally white almost yeah yeah i like i like funky teeth you do it's cute it's gonna care me too i like crooked teeth yeah i think crooked teeth are nice yeah yeah i like your teeth oh yeah you have great teeth oh wow thank you guys um they're kind of like a bunny rabbit oh thanks i know they're kind of yeah a lot but the two front ones are longer yeah they're uh did you purposely do it that way no it's just kind of what happened that's genetics yeah yeah well i had braces too but um yeah thanks i never i'm never gonna unsee you smile nope yeah please smile no why i'm self-conscious about your teeth we just said crooked teeth is like number one yeah exactly no he called me a bunny rabbit yeah yeah yeah your teeth i've never even looked at your teeth before because i'm embarrassed i have crooked teeth oh you know it's because i have a crooked jawline too so i gotta get that fixed that's so cute i mean did you get no but the face what happened bad for the it's causing damage he's broken his jaw he's only told you like 50 times so many times you have yeah i need to fix it because it's causing uh my eating habits oh my god you snore like a fucking grizzly bear don't you no yes yeah i know you moan yeah i moan when i sleep like how does the moan sound uh it goes like he does too no not anymore no he went you go i don't do that anymore yeah you know because i lost weight yeah i don't snore anymore what yeah are you sleeping well now much better whoa crazy yeah losing the weight helped that you know i mean you know what i used to remember i used to talk yeah yeah i used to do this too yeah yeah are you hungry well i'm eating a chocolate banana in my dreams i love chocolate bananas i think i lose i gotta lose weight then why are you crazy you're good no you ever see a like a bad angle of you like a picture of you like oh my god that's how i look like yeah i always look like that yeah so every angle is bad yeah yeah yeah you had to like look from above above it was still kind of look bad i think no no i think you're cute though don't you think come on ladies yeah 29 i don't want to look cute oh he wants to be sexy i don't want to look bad i don't want to look bad i don't want to look bad yeah no just handsome uh can i say something why i think you and i are similar in that way i think we are what we are and then i think once you're in the what else i think once you're in the cute zone you're in the cute zone no matter what i do even when i lost the weight people are like oh he's still cute like it didn't kind of like man me up like oh my god that guy's like rough and ready insurrection you know what i mean a beta you know i think you and i are in the beta category because at the end of the day we still gotta love ourselves that's all that matters bernie brown over here yeah dude exactly and then these two women are attractive ladies what's going on she did she did a thing again yeah you did a thing again no nothing yeah you went no i was you pulled a revenant i don't like them yeah don't do the revenant no i did not sorry yeah yeah no i just uh i uh don't know how i get weird when i get compliments yeah yeah you you you're very funny in that way i mean i feel like you um you're you're uberly sensitive i think do you yeah i think i'm pretty sensitive yeah yeah and i i we've had meals together and i've we've talked about our sensitivities yeah but do you think you're you're getting more confident then you're excited yeah i'm excited yeah yeah that's good yeah do you think sometimes to yourself like i'm ugly or yeah all the time yeah that's i feel like i yeah i think i don't excuse me i think asians are worse drivers women you think so yeah i don't think so dude she was thinking about it the whole time is that what you're you wanted to get that out that's not what i was thinking you think women are like really bad drivers no i mean i i i'm a bad driver i'm not i'm a grandma driver it's it's every time i have a problem with somebody in front of me right and i do i turn i turn change lanes and i have to see what they look like it's usually a white girl it's usually me it's usually because i'm too careful and i'm like a law abider and i don't i run through red light you speed you do all that and i'm in like the fast lane doing like max 75 and you're like no it's not me it's no 80 or 100 yeah yeah sometimes 100 yeah yeah i think because women overthink we i mean asians probably also think a lot so maybe that's what it is you think asians and women are very similar yes we overthink things you overthink things yes yeah you think there's somebody out there that drives with two feet wait i think that's i think everyone unless you drive with two feet well i mean they're there wait wait wait you don't drive with two feet oh you mean like uh is your hands uh two pedals some cars the manual ones you use both feet right oh yeah if it's thick shift stick shift yeah yeah yeah yeah so but you i use both feet when i'm driving an automatic yeah my left foot is the brake my right foot is no i'm not bobby you do that um i got your back on this new york cab drivers do it so you have quicker reaction time that's what i do i've learned to do that watch my feet yeah dangerous no it's not yes it is left foot right foot yes no i've done that before too yeah and i and i have arms yeah i you don't wait wait you i don't i've never even thought about someone using one foot for both pedals i think that's what you that's what they that's how they teach you just one really yeah i think because i use one foot i use one okay i was lying george yeah you're you're weird you're autistic guys come on yeah yeah yeah but um yeah i use the one foot yeah i mean because what two feet is dangerous because the average american they use one feet over i've met people who drive two feet and i it's a homegirl so it's mostly i'm not saying it's mostly women but i have to say in san francisco um when you're so what i did was he popped in wednesday night to my shows in san francisco and he goes you're you're so direct which i love can i go up put me up i say put me up let's say can i get a spot can i get a spot whatever it is right yeah so i go you know what i'm going to challenge louis and that louis um jaime because louis katz was featuring so i put you up after louis and louis is a very good stand-up louis katz and um you did well for real yeah yeah both so did you not say you were there second show the orange stuff was great i told jaime yeah yeah right you were there right alex yeah yeah yeah i was impressed you know i did pretty good too but you know um i mean it didn't scare me but i was like i was back there looking at you going there's a lane for you it's very simple your stand-up i mean it is but it's funny it's funny when i'm watching i'm going oh that's interesting he went the simplest path and it worked and it works it's like so like are you talking about the orange junk just all of it oh it's just so like weirdly simple but very effective and i think instinctually that's what you're doing you're not accidentally doing it because you're doing it every show you're directing the audience into this like path of like oh that was interesting least simple but good i mean you crushed you know yeah san francisco is a tough city it is a tough city i think it's changed over the years and that greek restaurant we went to you don't know what it is i'm the one who sent you no you didn't oh it's a different one no we went to kakari but i've never heard of kakari coming out of your mouth i hate when he does this i i am so sorry you have to witness this but i well i'll punch you right now every good place that you eat is because of me and even when you take all your girlfriends out you ask me where to take them and i always send you to the best shit ever boom and i never fail you because i want you to impress them they're not girlfriends of people i've gone on single dates with so i don't know what you're trying to prove right now but it's a that's not but guess accurate that's not an accurate guess who sent me a text saying what where should we eat it was gilbert and i sent you guys to that greek spot was it not good it's great yeah you know i mean it's right yeah it was like twenty thousand dollars yeah the saganaki really good oh my god although they don't light it in front of you anymore do they still have the lamb there is really good oh we had the lamb fuck yeah dude you know what's great about going to a restaurant with these guys even if you order too much food we have the garbage we have a garbage can with us gilbert no me alex you don't know oh yeah look at that look at that garbage can right there did you guys go to santon not this no not this trip yeah yeah you guys zocdoc is real it's as real as it gets man years ago my shoulder hurt and um i went to zocdoc i got all fixed up because it's like i didn't know where to go zocdoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment guys um i'm not gonna lie i'm not gonna lie i'm not gonna lie i'm not gonna lie with zocdoc you can book an in-network appointments with more than 100 000 doctors across every specialty from mental health to dental health primary care to urgent care and much much more appointments made through zocdoc everybody also happens super fast you know like within 24 to 72 hours of booking more often than that you can even get same day doctor appointments so that's amazing if you can concern for your health i think zocdoc's for you man yeah 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was but um man i hate when that happens when they're like they like you they like you and then you think oh okay they feel comfortable with me i'm gonna do a little bit more and then they're like nope not that one yeah you you're an interesting person because it's like when you're setting it up your your punch lines are very jazzy neck like which is like really carefully crafted bits like you know i mean they're very clever thank you yeah in fact you know what's interesting about you is that you can sit in a pocket and do the setup and when some people do do a long set a little longer setup i feel worried but not with her i just know that the payoff is going to be there oh thanks so much yeah it's a lot it's very good and when you did kill tony for the first time what how long have you been doing it oh three months yeah and what did that feel did you crush i don't i'm sure you crushed it went well um yeah but i was shaking the whole time because you know i was only three months in but i really liked the minute that i had so i was like well i think this is pretty funny yeah and i did it and then i was like oh my god i'm gonna do it again but i didn't expect it to go as well as it did and then what happened after that what happened after kill tony yeah did he invite you back oh no i just you know i i was pretty much stayed up all night just from adrenaline no what i'm saying is that after you did that first one did you do other kill tony's after yeah yeah but i signed up every time like i it's not like i got asked to go back i just signed up to be a bucket pull oh so you've never been a regular uncle no no i've never been a regular but why does other let me let's get let's let's break down a little bit about the kill tony you know i mean how do you become a regular situation so cam was a regular right yeah william was a regular right david lucas david lucas um hans why not you um i'm not sure but i don't know i probably um my interviews aren't very good but i don't know why that's funny they aren't yeah yeah yeah yeah so i think maybe they they probably want someone who like i like to go and do the joke and if i could just get off stage after that that would be great okay yeah man yes you know i would oh good now yeah i wish i could go but i think they probably want people that are like you know i don't like to give away too much either like i don't know ever i don't want to talk about too personal of stuff what what do you mean oh no i shouldn't have said that do tell i mean just tell me what you mean i'm not gonna dive but i'll just tell me oh no i just mean like i i know i don't want to talk about like my dating life or we're not did i ask you about your dating life did i fucking ask you no but i just yeah i didn't ask you that no i just mean like you know like tony like asks like you know personal things yeah and i get like i don't really want to talk about stuff like your life yeah yeah yeah i guess but um i yeah you know when he has fake plants in her house and i watered them the fake plants now like look i know they do i didn't know and then you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know the fake plants now like look i know i know they do i didn't know and then i didn't know and then you know you know how like scarecrows um the crows they get confused by scarecrows and you're always like how did they think that's a real person but i kind of that just happened to me now i get it no i see yeah yeah i like how you shifted there yeah that was pretty good right yeah that's pretty good but why why you got uncomfortable no no yeah yeah when's your birthday may fourteen how what kind of gifts do you like do you like gifts or how do you like to be celebrated i don't i don't i don't i i kind of like more celebrating my friends version birthdays yeah and then for like for my birthday this year i uh i just i drove to arkansas and i went in and uh and what's it called the hey 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shopify for your mind you guys shopify we have an online business here we use shopify to get our merch out there we only use the best here at tiger belly shop if it helps you launch a store and start selling in a few fish simple steps without needing to be an e-commerce expert like i'm no expert at e-commerce right i'm a simple person i want something laid out in a simplified way so and i need an ai assistant and they have one called sidekick oh and you can help with business tax along the way from store setup to planning promotions dude i'm really trying to get into shopify so that i can start selling some merch on my own and crank in them dollar bills and lucky for me shopify's pre-built themes and ai site builder can make it easier to create a professional looking storefront it's got to look legit oh wow this is i did i just we're just getting in now breaking news launch before black friday at time of year when more people are already shopping and ready to buy that's genius because black friday people will buy my shirts i love that if you're ready to launch your business before black friday go to shopify.com slash tiger belly to start your free trial that's shopify.com slash tiger belly go to shopify.com slash tiger belly to hear your first guys if you're in the jungle you can still open a store check out this tune the springs hot springs arkansas and i just hiked all day and i went into the bath houses and i took mushrooms that was my it was fun that's kind of like how i like to yeah well what kalala's trying to bring up no i'm not trying to bring up what you're trying to bring up is bullshit and i want to say that let me say something okay that um for your gift i had money for you and you're going to you don't want money no yeah i i it hurts my feelings i gave to give what you like that yeah okay wait see she has a point to make it's female shit no it's just it's easy to give and you know it's going to be you know something that i value and something that i you know that i gave you little hints over the years and i want you to absorb that information and then you know be be mindful of a cash mafia that's the best gift like if i gave you socks socks that you wanted but then i get or i gave you a couple of grand what would you like listen socks that's that's like a bad comparison socks or a couple of grand obviously the couple of grand okay like you know she loves like a certain book and you got like a limited edition signed by the author like that is special it's like you know about me you pay attention it's like we're friends we've known yeah it's then again if you gave me a few grand i'd be like wow he pays attention you know that yeah yeah to me it's like you know i mean hey just spend it the way you want to spend it i mean right alex yeah thank you but maybe you know there's no right right or wrong because what if you get something for them and then they don't like it then you lost the receipt the gift receipt then you're fucked yep i have sisters i give the money whenever christmas times come and how did do they like it hated yeah but i just give them like gift cards to sephora um michaels okay michaels yeah i love i like i like michaels a lot victoria secrets i think a gift card is more thoughtful than money because at least you're paying attention to the what i like still but if it's like a standard gift card to like target or amazon or just a no no no it has to be like a specific yeah like something where it's like oh you paid attention it's impossible like texas roadhouse would you want to give it to me i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't want a gift card from texas yeah i like steak right yeah steak's okay the rose texas roadhouse but then why not just take me to texas roadhouse okay you know but it's like oh we get to spend time together if someone just venmo'd you money on your birthday you would feel nothing i would feel excited i don't think so yeah i'll go versus versus the birthday that we threw you at the bowling yeah you're right okay good point touche that was good yeah but um when i gave andrew i gave andrew money stamp money that's a good point i gave andrew money stamp money that's a good point that's so funny and then he we kind of agreed from now on we don't give each other anything for the birthday how much did you give him i don't want to say that online but did he appreciate it or he was like nah dude don't do that he's impossible to shop for golf yeah i feel like he has all of it dudes are impossible to shop for they're impossible yeah yeah yeah i feel like girls are very just like just a different much easier easy yeah yeah yeah because i called his wife and i was like for weeks i'm like anything and she just kind of called me said be honest with you he has everything like i can't think of anything yeah men's gifts are the worst yeah so i just cash for us that makes sense yeah yeah okay what like i'm a simple man right like you said uh just give me a t-shirt it would be cool what did when i say we were a simple man you said it i said your act is a little simple i like it though it's clever just give me a t-shirt what kind of t-shirt any Not a cramped tunnel. Going inside yourself? No, my God. Do I do that a lot? Yeah, yeah. No. I mean, now you're in L.A. Would you ever move here or no? Sorry, I just. You don't want to talk about that? No, no, no, no. Yeah, I like L.A. What's wrong? No, nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's something wrong. What is wrong? Nothing's wrong. Okay. Asians. Oh, a lot of minorities are around. Is that what it is? I think that could be it. What? A lot of minorities are around? Yeah. I feel like I don't consider Asians minorities. What do you consider us? I don't know. You guys take up the majority of the world. How are you minorities? That's a good point. Globally, yeah, we're not minorities. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Have you been to Asia? No, I've always wanted to go. Yeah? Yeah. Where do you want to go? Where do I want to go? Yeah. Vietnam. Sounds cool. Why? Because they have really cheap pho. Oh. The food in Vietnam is not pho. Level. Yeah. Yeah. And everything, I think, is cheaper over there, too. So you could stay there for like a month and only spend like $500. Yeah. I want to go to Saigon for some reason. You know what you would love about Vietnam or anywhere in like Asia? You can get things like custom made, like tailor made. Like you can just draft up. I want to get this done, like a suit or whatever. And they just do it for you really, really, really exceptionally well. I bet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like high. Like a Wong Kar Wai movie. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And also, there's a new cologne brand that I've been kind of obsessed with. What is it? They have, it's from Vietnam. Okay. And they have smells that I've never smelled before. Where do they sell it? At all the major like cool scent shops, like the scent room or, you know what I mean? And the flavors are, the smells are matcha soft serve, milk cake, like foods. And it smells so good on my body. I really like it. But they do, it's exceptional. The people in the sauna room probably like it too. Yeah, yeah, they do. They all milk bread. Yeah. So let's throw out some like palates here. Is that going to call it a palate or? You know what I love the smell of? And it's very specific. And I don't know if anyone will get this. But it's the smell of the air that comes out of the vacuum cleaner. Salisbury steak. I love Salisbury steak. Delish frozen ones. Arnold Schwarzenegger smoking a cigar. Burnt steak. Yeah, burnt steak. Very good. A dry sauna. What about if you're not looking for a smell, but just more like a vibe? A feeling. A feeling. Yeah. I feel really warm when I see. Do you know what jealousy windows look like? They look like this. You see them a lot in like tropical, like warmer climates. I have a feeling. Okay. After a really good hunt, you know, I mean, you were out with your tribe. You stalked a buffalo. Yeah, I mean, for like three days, you finally got it. You chop them up. You're carrying pieces back to the, to your tribe or I don't know what you call it. The igloo, not igloos, the tents, you know, tent city, huts, huts. Yeah, yeah. And all the villagers and stuff are like, you know what I mean? Yeah, they're celebrating. They're celebrating, right? So I put all your guys' ideas in the chat. Okay. And I asked it to make a fragrance concept. Okay. Early morning after a long, dry hunt, dew still clings to the grass while gunpowder, weathered leather, and aged books mingle with the smell of pancakes from the cabin kitchen. Fragrance family is woody, leather, gourmand. That's what they said? Yeah. Okay. So. Okay. Dewy morning air, 25% of the note, 45% wood, leather, dried grass, base notes, old books, and weathered gear. And here are the actual ingredients that you would make. Wow. You guys can make, and then they give you the percentages of how much of each thing to put to achieve that feeling. That's incredible. We should make that. I'll go make it. There's a place in Chinatown. Really? Mm-hmm. Chinatown? Yeah, seriously. Why'd you say it like that? Chinatown. Chinatown. Hey, man. Yeah, yeah. What's in Chinatown? Some old Chinese man? Where the elixirs are made. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Didn't they try to make an elixir of life, and then they created gunpowder instead? Is that how it was discovered? That's how it was discovered? No. Yeah. They were trying to, but now I guess they figured out. It's an elixir of death they created. Wait, what is the elixir of life like? Well, they wanted to find a potion so they could live forever, and instead they discovered gunpowder. So it was kind of the opposite. Yeah. And the Chinese didn't create guns with it. They did with bamboo and stuff like that, but it's the Europeans that took it and made it the gun. The weapon. Like, you know, like if China had created the gun first, the whole planet would be Chinese. They would have taken over. Yeah. Weapons is what creates, you know what I mean, civilization and domination in that way. Did the Chinese create fireworks? Is that what they used it for? Yeah. Yeah. For celebration. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is kind of nice. It's like, well, they're not ill-intentioned people. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Have you guys seen this? Oh, these are the best. I love this. This is awesome. I live for this. Yeah. The gay Filipino basketball players. So this is like a real part of our culture is that people come and watch, not necessarily for the competition itself, but for the reactions of that guy. He's so good, though. Look at him. He's so good. Oh, my God. He's so good. Look at that. I'm sorry, but if it were a competition on just like flair and like performance, like the Philippines is unbeatable. They're unbeatable in terms of that kind of. Gay expression. Gay expression. That whimsical gay expression. They're the best at it. It's so funny. Yeah, look at him. Three-pointer. Steph Curry style. Look at him. Steph Curry wouldn't do that. You got the guy, too, who does this, but he plays volleyball. Oh, really? Oh, incredible. They're so good. They're so freaking good. Yeah. Do you play sports? Mm-mm. Yeah. You're not good at any of them? Why are you saying it like that? Like you're about to make fun of me. I'm not making fun of you. I'm just saying that. You're like, yeah, you're not good at any of them. I don't feel like you have good balance. No, you're right. You're right. You know, I've walked around with you. You don't have good balance. I know. I'm kind of gangly. Also, it's very like, you know what I mean? Like you're trying to constantly balance yourself. Yeah. My center of gravity is. And your arms are like weights or something. And you're trying to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like you have a good center of gravity. I'm very. Will you stop looking at your arms? It's this one that's hairy. How come that one doesn't look hairy? You don't have Harvey Milk arms. I was just kidding. Show us the left arm. I should. This one is hairy. Just show it. Yeah, yeah. I forgot to shave it. That's why. In high school, did you think, I want to get into comedy or no? No, I've always liked making people laugh. But my parents were very like, oh, you're going to be a doctor or a lawyer or, you know, very Asian, very Asian family. Did any of your siblings become a doctor or a lawyer? No, my sister's in insurance and my brother, he's in college still. And my younger brother's still in high school. Oh, wow, wow. So. You're the oldest. Yes, I'm the oldest. Yeah. And then when you went to college, what did you graduate? What was the degree? I did English and political science. Oh, so you know about politics a little bit. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not really. Okay. But it's exciting. Yeah. I know the only thing that I can remember from the political science, well, not the only thing, but something interesting. I did German political science. And after World War II, they opened up. They opened up their borders because they wanted to seem like, you know. Yeah. Not so. Not racist. Right. So they. And then what? And I think I just thought that was kind of funny because who would fall for it? That's what I remember about them. Yeah. And people fell for it. They went. Yeah. And then you went to Austin. And then what made you do stand up then? Oh, I kind of was going through a. Breakup? No, no. Not a breakup, but usually when I do stuff, it's because of, no, it's, I graduated college and then I was like, man, I'm, I don't know what to do. Now I, I'm in this insurance job and this is my life every single day, like a nine to five. And I just was like, and so I started doing stuff that scared me to try to figure out like what I actually wanted to do. Do you remember the first time you went up? Yeah. It was at this like really crappy open mic. There's like three people in the audience and I went up and they were. They were laughing still. So I was like, this, this is great. This feels good. I was terrified, but it was. Awesome. Yeah. It was a great feeling. Yeah. And then you just cooked from the beginning. And then I just like kept doing it and I've always liked writing. I would always like, even during work, I would write funny stuff or I would just, I've always loved to write. Yeah. So it was like, you know, I just, that's what I like doing. Yeah. It's, it's interesting. It's that, it's that addiction. Yeah. It's very addicting. It is. And you guys have tried it. Gilbert's tried it. Yeah. And you guys never got the addiction. Alex, you try it. He got the addition. No, not enough laughs at open mics. Yeah. Yeah. Not enough. No. Yeah. I like feeling stressed out. I realize. Yeah. Me too. I love feeling stressed out. Like if I'm feeling stressed out, I feel like I'm doing something. There's something to that. Or I feel brave or something. What's the biggest room you've done? I was on the road with Theo and we did an arena and it had like 8,000 people in it or something like that. So that was insane. But it kind of when it's that many people, it doesn't feel like anyone at all in a way because you don't see anybody. It's like dark. You can't connect with them. Not a nicer guy to do it with. I mean, he's so nice. Oh, yeah. He's great. Yeah. He's a great guy. Yeah. And so that's a good guy to do it with. Yeah. No. It was. Oh, yeah. That wasn't it. Is that you? No. I have actually a video on my Instagram of the arena. I'm like panning so you can see it and then Theo trips over his stool. I accidentally caught it on tape. Oh, cool. Yeah. So it was 8,000. And then have you done any other big shows like that or no? I mean, no, not that big. 8,000 was the biggest. Biggest one. Yeah. Yeah. But it's it's it's I don't like it. I like to connect with people more. It's definitely like one of those things where I was super stressed out. Yeah. So I liked it because of that, you know, because then the more stressed out you are before, the higher you feel after. I feel like. Ah. The scarier it is, the more afterwards you're like. Well, there's a relief that happens. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, oh, that wasn't too bad or I did okay. Yeah. But sometimes it doesn't work to your benefit and that pain afterwards is so devastating that. Yeah. Even, you know. Mm hmm. I've had that happen where it's like, oh, my God, I just think I just bombed in front of 20,000 people. Yeah. Luckily, I haven't done that many so that I haven't bombed at any of them. Yeah. God. But I'm sure if I did more. Yes. Okay, what do we got going? What do you want to plug here? It's December, so we got December dates. December. What do we have? Comedy store? Yes. Comedy studio. What's that? What's comedy studio? Cambridge. Cambridge, Massachusetts. You got Helium Comedy Club in my hometown, Alpharetta, Georgia. Yep. Helium. Headlining there. Comedy store. L.A.? L.A.? Comedy club at Duckworth's, North Carolina. Oh, my God. A lot of dates. Yeah, a lot of dates. Hyenas. Yeah. You're going to be in Dallas, Jaime. Have you played hyenas? In Dallas? Yeah. Yeah. i loved it that was the first show i did on this tour actually was in dallas yeah it was like one of the first headlining sets wow yeah i threw up before that one did you really yeah i threw up in the bathroom is it meryl streep that every time she performed it was one of those or that we used to vomit before like an acting job or something like that like i don't know but i know if i throw up if i'm that level of anxious i'll do okay i don't want to jinx it now yeah saying that but i feel like i know that it'll be okay but if i feel too calm before that's when i'm not gonna do well like if i feel too like it also helps that you know that most of the people are wanting you to succeed oh i never thought of that you know but what i'm saying is like if when i'm performing i'm like i think 95 percent of the people in the audience even more Tickets to see me yeah so that helps in the beginning when you're headlining and people are just randomly going you know well let's watch comedy this weekend who's playing at the club you know i mean that's tough because it's like oh my god he just did a bit about you know i mean homeless jizz weird for me it's the opposite i feel like when it's for me i feel like more pressured like oh my god maybe they have expectations that i'm gonna you know like and i'm gonna like fail them but then if it's a on a random show that i'm gonna you know like and i'm gonna like fail them but then if it's a on a random show that they're not there for me i feel more like ah they're not even here for me whatever they don't have they don't even expect anything for me you know but it's most of it's this i realize is that holy that's i came here to see him and there he is it's that it's not like also a lot of these people they don't know what what what a good response is in the audience you know i mean like to us it's like oh i didn't crush but to them is like oh that was really good because it's like you know like those first shows remember i was like i how depressed was i you wanted to leave i wanted to leave that's how bad my san francisco first shows were i feel like when i feel like they're just so happy to see you guys in the flesh that's what it is yeah yeah change your mind yeah i never thought about it like that yeah yeah maybe that'll help that's why it's a personal appearance they want to see you you know it's the guys that don't do it that like i just you know especially nowadays do you have fun yeah yeah how do you feel i feel good yeah yeah yeah how do you feel i feel pretty good you flying back tonight or tomorrow i'm staying here till thursday why why not oh i gotta go yeah yeah yeah you feel good yeah yeah i don't want you to miss your date with you know rock stars anyway wow let's give christina a round of applause thank you for watching! please subscribe to my channel and hit the bell icon to get notified of my new videos!

Podcast Summary

Key Points:

  1. A new Caramel Apple 5-Hour Energy Shot is launched, offering a sweet, tart apple flavor with a buttery caramel finish and marketed as a sugar-free fall treat.
  2. The product is only available online for a limited time through 5hourenergy.com or Amazon.
  3. The promotion highlights the return of fall season and emphasizes a sugar-free, flavorful alternative to traditional sugary treats.
  4. The host promotes other products and services, including Helix Sleep mattresses, Cachava meal replacement, and Shopify for launching online businesses.
  5. A segment discusses personal habits, grooming, and opinions on fashion, including shaving, ripped jeans, and eyebrow styles.
  6. The conversation touches on cultural observations, such as perceptions of Asian identity and driving behaviors.
  7. A humorous exchange occurs about gifts and personal preferences, with emphasis on thoughtful, personalized presents over cash.
  8. A special appearance by Bobby Lee is announced for a Hulu special in San Diego, with ticket sales now available.

Summary:

A new Caramel Apple 5-Hour Energy Shot is introduced as a sugar-free, fall-inspired beverage featuring crisp apple and smooth caramel flavors. com or Amazon. The segment also highlights other products, including Helix Sleep mattresses, Cachava meal replacement, and Shopify for launching online stores.

A lively discussion covers personal habits like grooming, fashion choices, and cultural observations—such as perceptions of Asian identity and driving styles. The conversation includes humor about gifts, with a preference for personalized, thoughtful presents over cash. Additionally, the host announces a new special appearance on Hulu in San Diego, adding to the mix of promotional content.

The overall tone blends product promotion with casual, conversational humor and personal anecdotes.

FAQs

It's a sugar-free, flavorful energy shot that combines crisp apple with a smooth, buttery caramel finish, offering a sweet and tart taste from the orchard.

It's only available online for a limited time at 5hourenergy.com or Amazon.

No, it's sugar-free, making it a healthy fall treat that delivers flavor without the sugar.

It combines the crispness of apple with a smooth, buttery caramel coating for a balanced and refreshing taste.

It offers a seasonal, nostalgic treat that captures the essence of fall flavors without added sugar.

No, it's a limited-time fall-exclusive treat, available only during the seasonal promotion.

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