Craving Kit Harrington | History Hyenas

What's up everybody? We've got a great episode for you today. We just went wild, Chrissy got married two days ago. We also continue that conversation at patreon.com/historyhyenas where we tell some wild fun stories. See me in Atlantic City this weekend, also East Hampton, Austin, wherever else I'm going to be. YannisPapasComedy.com. All right. Yeah. And you could see me July 10th and 11th Philadelphia, Pennsylvania August 21st, 22nd, Portland, Maine, ChrissyComedy.com. I got a bunch of more dates up there as we get into the fall winter. Enjoy this episode and enjoy hearing about my wedding. Right. You know, which band? Some fucking like rock heavy metal band. She's like, do you want to go? She goes, do you want to go? And I was like, don't ask me that question. I don't want to see that band. No, I never wanted to see it. And then she gets mad at for that. And I said, I want to go for you. If you want to go, I'll go. And she's like, and I'm so just get the fucking tickets. And then I'm out another 500. It's like, it is what it is. It's what it is. But then they raise your kids and they do other shit. Right. So it's like, what can we do? We're here to eat shit. It's what it is. So that's what it is when the episode is started. No, we can't put out now. No, I mean, Jesse hit the clock. If Jesse hits the clock, we have we got it. And it's nice to not, we're going to go flow. And again, we're going to get into some history. We don't know what the topic is, but we're going to figure it out on the fly. I've been holding in a shift for 30 minutes. So it's nice to be playing for something. I like playing for something. I've also have a, I've also took a ketone IQ shot. So my brain is locked in on your tiny little head on your tiny little, your head's like a bulb of a flower. You know what I like? The thing about you that's fun is there's always something to play for because you have what they call a, in the old day, but they call it a woman's bladder. That's what it is. You pee like 10 times an hour. Yeah, I got a woman's bladder, and I'm telling you about this. I'm telling you right now, because I'm coming in. First of all, Chrissy Eris is at it again. Remember how I was talking about peptides? Well, I've been off for the last five weeks over not a shock to me. I did 12 weeks of peptides. What do we got now? So now I'm on five weeks off. But so what I'm thinking about doing is because I was on these illegal ones called red or true type of one. I'm thinking about doing I was talking to my stepmother and she's on Zep bound, which is the one she's killing me on Oprah Winfair on and she's telling me she's some good results. So I got an appointment tomorrow. I think I'm just, I think I'm going to go back to an old school GLP one and do a little thing called Zep bound or row the one that Serena Williams takes. And I'm going to get right back in the saddle on pepis. But this time I'm going through a, it's basically fat people medicine. That's what I'm taking. You know what I love about you guys. You know what makes you fun? Tell me. You seek solutions where there are no problems. That's what it and that's what I like about you. That's what it that's a good way to say. Yeah. I physically you look great. No, but I don't feel good and I want to feel good like my stepmom. Yeah, I'm going to go on the weight loss drug of Charles Barkley. Cause I just got a question. Does your stepmom go to supercuts? Yes, she does. That's a number seven. Cause I like that. So you forgot make absolutely no mistake. You forgot to put on a shirt today. You're wearing an undershirt. You're wearing an undershirt out here. You should have put a shirt on over that. But you said no, no, no. I got an undershirt on today. I came out. Yeah. You know, I today I look like a French guy in 1700s that was woken up in the middle of the night. It's why I'm just coming up my night down. Yeah. I'm in a night. Yeah. I'm wearing a night. Yeah. You ain't white on a rainy day. You on your night count. And Nick is in his shirt that says Coco Puffs. Nick has a shirt on that says Coco Puffs. He's a grown man. He's got a Coco Puffs shirt on and cargo shorts. Yeah. Nate. I mean, uh, Nick is just in a happy place because Nate Bargatzi's going down. Oh, yeah. Why is Nate? Is he not a Nate fan? Nate is just a date was photographed somewhere. He should have be photographed. Oh, I know. I know. I don't know. People really care. Yeah. Oh, yes. Because of Trump. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not a Donald Trump supporter. Not enjoy a UFC match. If you're in the presence of Donald Trump. Yeah. Oh, yes. Everywhere. That's your photos. Shut up. The fascist. Oh, my God. Whatever, dude. Because you know, it's funny. I got a fucking ring on. Yeah. The funny thing is if this was even like a big something, I don't have enough room in my life to care about it. No, because you've got a tiny head. You only got a certain amount of room in that skull. Yeah. And right now it's being, it's full of shroud of tarant. It's what it is. I can only do one thing at a time. I got room for one thing at a time. Maybe that's why you got a hundred things going on because you got room for a hundred things. I got too many things in my head. You know what I've noticed too about getting off GLP ones and I'm excited to get back on them is I've been drinking too much coffee. When I got off these GLP ones, all my coffee cravings came back when I'm on GLP ones. I only drink about one or two coffees a day, but it is right now two 10 p.m. And I've already had six. What I love about to crave. I'm a craver. Cause I crave things. And that's what the GLP ones tell me what I don't crave as much. But right now I've been five weeks off and I'm craving. I gotta crave. You like to crave. I like to crave. You like to seek and crave. I like to crave. You like to crave. You don't even like to hunt. You like to crave. Bad ass. You like to tell you. He needs why the fuck are we not putting GLP ones through the vents in here? Why how do we get into his body? I don't know. I think we got to hold them down and just stick it in them. Jesus Christ. I think that's the only way. Cause what are you crazed? I just can't get over. I'm still caught at the cocoa puff shirt. It really made me laugh. You just noticed that we've been sitting with Nick for two hours. I notice it. I don't usually look at people's fashion. And he's got a cocoa puff shirt. And it says I'm cuckoo for cocoa puffs. Yeah. It's just very funny. It's a very funny thing. It's what we call a snap benefits purchase. Yeah. And it just, you know, it's just very funny. And he also has like a every color of old Navy cargo shorts. I mean, the kid went to old Navy and he did the whole rack in every color. Cause when I take a look at Nick, I know one thing for sure. He has an old Navy credit card. He's got it. There's no way he doesn't day. He gave his phone number that first time for that 10% discount. And for now on, it's that old Navy credit card that he's constantly behind on. It's just what it is. And he's got a Chrissy chaos hat on fireman's hat, which I appreciate. And if you guys want to see me go to christiecomedy.com helium comedy club July 10th and 11th. I'm mentioning it early on the show because I just got an email from the promoter asking me to come in early to do press. So that's not a good sign. And I will be at Atlantic City this weekend, which I barely mentioned to the eye too. Also, we'll probably have to go to do press or hand out flyers. Now this, now you do that at Atlantic City comedy club, which I was supposed to be at the end of August, but I was told by the owner that yours is the last weekend and then they're closing the club down. And that is a truth. That is a truth. The wood. I got an email saying no shows that been canceled because the club is at closing. So you want me put that much effort into it. So you are the final weekend of the AC comedy club. One of them. You just never know with Amelia. And you give it any take it the way. But it's very funny. And I kind of like living in that lane. And it's what it is folks. Now you listen to me and you listen to me good. Okay. Okay. Craver. You listen to me good. I'm craving you when I when I saw I was outside where we filmed the podcast. And I saw John Snow, Kit Harrington sitting outside having breakfast. And the kid is a squeak big, but he's a handsome, handsome handsome kid. And I was really thinking about going up to him and just introducing myself and seeing if I can get a pick. But it's one of the only times that this has happened where I actually was repelled by his handsomeness. And I got too nervous to even get close to him because I just saw it to the sky. I said, he's a beautiful man. And I said, I don't want to have because I'm just now finally for the after months and months and months getting over Ryan Sirhan. And I'm realizing that I actually wasn't love with him. And so I'm just getting passed that now. So I didn't want to fall in love with yet another guy. So Kit Harrington, if you're listening to this podcast, which I know that you are just know that I wanted to come up to you. But I was I was a little nervous that I would have sexually assaulted you. Now, I want to ask you guys a question of everybody. And you can answer first, would is it worth it for you to take a role? Would you hypothetically take a legendary role like John Snow? And just be known as John Snow for the rest of your life. Or would you rather have a career like say, who's an actor who's known for many? Some Daniel De Lewis? Yeah, or no, but that would because you everyone's going to choose Daniel De Lewis. There's a lot of lesser known actors that are really good. I just can't think of their names. So that's kind of Bobby Conovale. Something like that. He's a great actor. Yeah. Or like, or there's this guy. There's this he's like a Spanish dude who does like a Hispanic guy who has far them. No, no, you know what I'm talking about? He like can do anything. And like he's like, there was a say about Pascal. Somebody made a YouTube video of him doing all these roles. And you're like, that's guy and you're like, oh my, he's so good. You almost forget that he's, that, that's the same guy. And I definitely would know him 100%. And his name's Hector. He was in training day and he played a, uh, a cholo. And, and then he's like, you see him doing shake spear. It's crazy. Oh, is that Michael, isn't his name Michael? Cliff Curtis. Cliff Curtis. Cliff Curtis. Oh, I thought that guy, I thought that guy was a Middle Eastern guy. Oh, yeah, I don't know what that guy, that guy, this guy is in true life. Dude, he's so good. He's like Daniel Day Lewis level good, he just doesn't, oh man, he's from New Zealand. He's from New Zealand. And he's Mallory. He's Mallory because those are, Mallory are one of like the first people. Yeah. And it's crazy. Like, he played a cholo. It's like, it's crazy how good an actor he is. Would you rather be that guy and just continue and be able to do all these roles? Or would you rather just be called Jon Snow for the rest of your life? There's nothing you can do about it. I had no idea his name was Cliff Peterson. Let's, I just don't know what his name is. Simple. Cliff Curtis. Go Cliff Curtis. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good point. Yeah. Okay. So Cliff is worth three schmel. Yeah. And now let's go. Kid Harrington is going to have a, is going to be a little more. Kid Harrington net worth. There we go. And let's pull that up right there. And then the answer, we have three male versus 14 male. So I actually expected more from Kid Harrington. I thought it was going to be worth more than that. But he's about over four times the net worth. So I'm going to go with Kid just because I know that there's so many more ounces I can buy. You got to remember it. It was the mortgages. Big cast and they had to pay a lot of people. Seven, seven hundred and fifty grand and epiwepi is what they got at the height of it. And then really hasn't been in anything major since then. Isn't that freaking wild? Well, because that's my point. You get pigeonholed as Jon Snow. It's very hard for, it's very hard for an audience to see you. It was the reason actually why Elaine, I saw this whole interview. Why Elaine? Do you believe he drives this? Say I don't even know their name. I'm just, do you? If it's Michael Richards, who I'm a big fan of early work and Jason Alexander. So what they did in that last season or two, they got together and they actually, they said, okay, for us to continue this show, this is the reason they actually gave. They go, we're sacrificed. We're going to be known as these characters for the rest. So you got to make it financially worth it. The risk of us doing this, we feel like it's got to be financially worth it for us to give up, like not being seen as these characters. Right. So I actually, that's exactly what they said to me. What did they want to get? They ended up getting a big money, but that was there, that was the reason for doing it. Not a bad, not a bad reason. And I think it was like a million episode or something like that for 22, Julie, Drifus was huge and deep. Yeah. But again, that's in HBO show. I don't know how much money you got paid. But you saw with Pramer and Jason Alexander that they tried so many other things and nothing worked. Do Jason Alexander was great and pretty woman. Yeah. Do you remember what's his name tried? They all tried Michael Richards? No. They all like Chandler tried a bunch of shows. I just even called him Chandler. Yeah. Like it just, you get pigeonholed and then you're that guy. You're for the record. Jennifer Aniston is the only exception. I could say that she became a movie star. Yeah. Yeah. But she was doing, no, but she was kind of doing those movies while the show was around a little after. But she's the one rule breaker of it. Yeah. Because you know it is Jennifer Aniston. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. Right. She's in a lot of stuff. Lisa Kudrow, Phoebe. I mean, Cornie Cox will, I mean, she'll just get cleaned. She'll get cleaned. But with a show that you run that risk of like, I think people go there, I think if people saw them, they'd go, there's John Snow. Right. I don't think they, I don't think most people even know his name is Kid Harrington. No, I was going to walk up to him and I almost said to him, Johnny Snow. Right. I almost called him Johnny Snow and people I saw and when I did, I did like a really kind of thing like a girl. Like I acted like it was a girl. I was on the phone. I was actually on the phone talking to my real estate broker. And I was on the phone with him and I didn't need to be standing where he was standing because he was eating outside. But I chose to stand there anyway and not look at him because what I was hoping was is that somebody would recognize me and then that would pick their interest and I would be invited to sit down on his lap is what I did. I made a move like a hot chick. Yeah. I made a move. These are thoughts. Actually, this is what you're just going through. This is 1,000%. Not a lie. This is what I was doing. And I was standing there. And I thought what I did also is I stood in a way because I don't like my left side. So I stood on my right side, which I think shows off my jaw a little bit better. And I had my hand arm in my pocket and I was flexing my arm. I was making a fist so I was trying to get the forearms going while I was also on the phone. My real estate broker and I every time he would talk about something, I would inflate it. I would inflate it and I would say so they could do 6 mil. So and I was hoping on the off chance of one of the security guards or construction workers would notice me and say, Chrissy and they would look up and then I would kind of shoot them a look and see if you know, say, oh, it's happens all the time, something like that. And then get into I didn't want any opportunity from Kid Harrington. I just want to meet him. I want to talk to him. I want to be close to him. And I want to shake his hand. I want to feel how hands off his hands. That's what, but I was really, I was repelled back by his hands and me. Yeah. So that's gay to you. Or or. Or. Yeah, yeah, it's it's surprisingly more gay than if you told me a guy, fuck your ass hole last night. And I don't know why I don't, it's just the amount of effort and the thought that goes into it. I don't even know if I can call it gay. It's like, I don't think it's it. What is that? It's a woman. It's like a woman's brain. It's a woman's thought process. Yeah, and it's and it's interesting because it's it's a lot of thoughts about one of those thoughts. And I just had those thoughts and and it was and it took over about 30 to 40 minutes of my life. I think Concy thinking about it where the piece at my wedding in the orange dress, I just thought about the three seconds and just moved the other way. Yeah. Yeah. Mate, do you think it's because now here's the, here's the fun, you're so fun. You're so fun as a case study because you sent us pictures of what you looked like when you were like 12 or some, and you, you truly looked, right? Yeah. Yeah, send it to you. I sent it to you already. Okay. You look like you were truly special, like truly mentally handicapped. Right. Right. Yeah. Like if I saw you, like look at that. Yeah. And, and then the people say that I looked like, you know, Ben Stiller, uh, simple Jack. Yeah. I mean, let's just scroll back up. Yeah. What about those sneaks? Cause I mean, listen, listen. That was at the catalepal YMCA, Ridgewood, uh, summer camp. Yeah. I mean, what do you think of that? Well, I think this is either the kid who has special needs, like for real, I'm not even making a joke. Right. Because the kid who's in like a learning disabled situation or who was brought up in a cult. Right. You look like a cult kid. Yeah. Yeah. Like maybe you were like a heavens gate kid or like something heavy, not even like a well-known coat. I'm not talking Scientology. I'm talking like somewhere off in the Midwest, like a Mormon cult kid. Right. A cult kid or someone who's waiting to go bowling. Yeah. And then you turned into a very handsome kid. So you're saying that you, you don't think my camp counselors saw what was coming. This, you know, I just, I find it hard to believe that the priest made a move on you. Yeah. Cause that is, I'm not, you know, I've made this joke before, but this is actual, this is accurate. That is a number four at the lemon tree. That haircut is my mom pointed out, we'll take the number four of my call for dollar menu. And that's the haircut that I had. The lemon tree ball cut, the lemon tree was on Myrtle Avenue in between Forest Avenue and Steven Street. That's just where the lemon tree was and where he used to get haircuts. Yeah. Yeah. So that and that, and that I, my shirt tucked in and I remember having those shorts and those sneakers, which is boots, boots, right? Yeah. No, the sneakers are okay. It's, um, you know, you just, your proportions, you were a kid who was programmed. Whatever your DNA was, you were programmed to come to fruition when everything grew in. So, so you're saying, look at how big your ears are. Right. You look small. Right. Because they just haven't grown yet. So you think there, 1000% you believe my mother, Linda Stefano, prayed this version into me. I think she prayed the gay out and the handsome end is only two options. Right. Right. Either your mom prayed you in that way or this is, you are one of those people that God placed on the earth to punish bullies. That's what it is. Because this kid's getting bullied. Bullied. This kid's getting bullied big. And then when you get older, it's a little bit, so you may just be to teach the lesson into the bullies. Right. Right. Yeah, just maybe your purpose on the planet. Now, the thing about this kid, the thing about this kid is it looked like that. And I think it was the only thing that was advantageous to me is what people don't know is this kid was, you know, being taken down a farmer's all the park with a broom that my father written Lee Roy on and I was taking a thousand jumps out today and I would get underestimated and score 10 on you quick in the first quarter because I would bang out some threes and get some kind of N1 because my dad knew the only way that my kid's going to be able to survive this is if he has a decent jump shot. Right. So this kid did have a good jump shot. That's the thing about it. It could play ball. So if I was, if I didn't look like that, I don't know if I would have been able to play ball. You know what else I noticed about you? You got really long arms. Have you ever noticed that? That's what all my, when I was a kid, they would call me the orangutan or that I was always getting caught. Yeah. But even Antony from badass, Antony would always say it's tough to make my arms more muscular because they're so long. Yeah. So you truly were put together with different parts, with different parts. Yeah. You got like the parts don't match necessarily like a guy from Senegal. Yeah. Your arms are like really long. It's like down to your knee almost right. Right. Right. Looking at that picture, we took it. You're wetting and I first time I really noticed, I was like, the kids got long like Alan Iverson arm. So I would, I was good at basketball. Yeah. I would get like steels. I could pick and I could just get the jumper over guys who are much taller than me because of the length of my arm. Yeah. a normal kit. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, this is this is when you were still cook - This one's still cooking. - You were still cooking. - Yeah. - See, this kid jerked off into his belly button a lot. - Yeah. - And I would always get sore throats. - Yeah, you were still cooking. At this age, I was fully cooked. And since then, I've just been rotten out on the table. - It's just what it is. This is, yeah, you're like a avocado. - I'm just saying avocado is sitting out there too long. - This is 1996. - This '96. - So what were you in '96? - '96. - Were you in college or what? - I would've picked this kid up and put him on a fucking tray. - What it is? - 1996, I was a jacked adult. - It's what? - What, 18? - I was a, no, I wasn't jacked. No, no, no, I was an 18. I was, yeah, yeah, I was about, yeah. I was in college, no, I was in college. - College, yeah. - I was in, I was like a freshman or sophomore in college. - Yeah, I was in day camp, I was 12. - Yeah, I was jacked at that point. I think, 'cause I started lifting, that's when I was my strongest was at college. - Right. - You know, that's when I would've taken this kid and fucking thrown him into a goddamn tray. - So wild too, like there's so many memories I don't have of things that I thought would be profound in my life. But for some reason, one of my friends sent me this picture and like I remember this day. Like it was just a random day at the park. Like nothing extraordinary happened, but a picture was taken and I remembered. 'Cause so many pictures I see, I'm like, I don't remember that at all. It's fascinating about the memory. Like why, do we have any inside info as to like why memories of mundane things stick in your head when some of the times were like, I was at, I've been at games, I've told you about. And I'm like, I don't even remember being there. - Yeah. - Is it the phone, is it the distraction of the phone? - No. Well, overall you mean like why memory? - To kids who are 12 years older, they're gonna have less memories because they're half distracted by the phone where at that time we didn't have any devices. - Your brain, even before the phones, just memories are stories. Like your brain tells us, your brain doesn't remember reality as it is. Your brain remembers it, a story. And it prioritizes with that unconsciously it prioritizes. This is important information. This isn't, it's sort of like a power saving. It's almost like an energy saving built in mechanism. It's sort of, your subconscious filters out. And then even at night when you're sleeping, there's a fluid that comes in like washes your brain and like clean and while you're sleeping, they know now that like your brain is arranging the feelings, the thoughts and telling the story for your memory. - Wow. - So everything you remember is not remembered accurately as you have that. - That's very interesting. - And that's why you only remember certain things of some reason you deem that important and other stuff, not. - But there are ways like neuroscientists and these people know like there are ways to access hidden memories, right? There are techniques and stuff you can do. - Yeah, well it's weird, they don't understand fully. They understand the brain, they don't understand the mind 'cause the mind and the brain are two different things. - And I see a lot of studies now saying that they think a lot of the mind is in the gut and not in the brain. - Yeah, well it speaks to what we were talking about before the podcast, like what is consciousness? It's more of an open question now than it was and that's not fringe to say. I mean it's something people are discussing now and they're kind of baffled by it. But yeah, it's an interesting thing. It's an interesting thing. For example, like I didn't remember any of my childhood which was weird and then I had kids and I was like flooded with these memories that I wasn't choosing which was weird, you know, like I wasn't choosing to have a flash of a memory, they were just coming. - Coming out. - Well like you start to, when you have kids, you start to relive your like Halloween and Christmas really wasn't that big a deal for you for 30 years and then all of a sudden becomes a big deal again and then that must unlock something in the head, you know? - But for me it was unlocking like uncomfortable feelings. It was uncomfortable, like things were like just, and it was just flooding out. - Right. - I wasn't choosing have this thought. It was almost like I had built this thing. - Right. - This built this persona and then I had kids and like my whole reality, like came undone about who I thought I was or what I thought and I had to face a bunch of memories and feelings that and for whatever reason my kids sport, like being with my kids sparked that. - Chrissy, tell me about Quo, please, please. - Cause I, what I'll tell you about Quo is first of all it's spelled Q-U-O, okay? Or I like to spell it S-P-Y. And if your team's communication is messy, customers feel it, okay? That's why today's episode is brought to you by Quo. Q-U-O, the business communication system built so you never miss a Quo. - Wow. - Okay. Are you telling me cause that your entire team can handle calls and texts from one shared number? That's what I'm telling you guys. - So no more mismessages or drop conversations or happen? - Nope. - Nope. - That everyone sees the full thread, replies are faster and customers actually feel taken care of? - 100% and cause it's amazing. I really like Quo. It's not just a phone system. It's smart one, okay? AI automatically logs for calls, generate summaries and they've never gotten one order wrong. Every time I order extra duck shots, it's in there. - Right. So listen, this is amazing. Calls, text, voice, mail, transcripts, contact details all in one clean view. So your team always has a full picture and can show up for every customer conversation ensuring a seamless and more personalized experience. - Money is on the line. Always say hello with Quo. Try Quo for free. Plus get 20% off for first six months. When you go to Quo.com/hyenas, that's q-o.com/hyenas. - Cause, whoo. - Pestee, I want to talk to you about. - Pestee, listen guy, there's a lot of bugs. 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Pestee offers 100% bug free guarantee or your money back. If the bugs don't go away, you'll get a full refund, including a full refund. And it includes a kit, a sprayer, mixing bag, pesticide gloves, instructions. You can complete in less than 10 minutes. What are you waiting for? Fix your bug problem before it gets worse. Go to pesty.com/hyenas for an extra 10% off your order today. That's P-E-S-T-I-E. com/hyenas for an extra 10% off. No more bugs. Now let me ask you that's cause, because I know this is, you know, it'd be a couple of days old by the, you know, time this comes out. But I just have to ask you because it's big, Greek news with Janice Anton Pukukuku, getting traded to Miami Heat. How do you feel about that? Are you okay with the Greek freak moving to Miami? I'm very happy for him cause I mean, anytime anyone can get out of Milwaukee and go to Miami, it's just a great day. I mean, the kid is a Greek. Make zero mistake. Him and his brothers are as Greek as Greek can get. Like real Greeks. They are real Greeks. Like he does not like Turkish people. He is so Greek. It's like he's crazy Greek. He goes to Greece. He lives in Greece. He's a hero in Greece. He's just so culturally Greek. So Greek, he's so Greek that the Greek people have put aside the fact that he's black. That's a great man. He's a Greek culture. That's the way to put it. If you want to be honest with you. Go where to put it. Yeah, yeah, go where to put it. Cause for them, that's a very, very high honor because for the Greeks, put aside the fact that he's black and accept him as a Greek hero. He's big. It's very unlikely. Right, it's very unlikely. Right. The New York Nicks, what the experts predicted for the New York Nicks, they didn't predict they were going to win the championship. It was very unlikely. Very unlikely. So that, if you don't know anything about sports, but you know about culture, know that that is how good. Yannis, Anton, the Greek freak isn't basketball. Is that the Greek citizens of mainland Greece have put aside the fact that he's black and honor him as a Greek hero. They honor him as a Greek hero. That's all you need to know. They love the fact that he's so Greek and he's not like, I guess, genetically manoan, or whatever. Right. So he's so Greek and he loves being Greek. That's awesome. He's in being Greek. And Miami fits more of a Greek culture than, you know what I'm saying, right? Miami got the heat, you got like beautiful by the islands. I think that it'll be a good fit here. I do, I will say, they have to give up Tyler Harrow, a hero, to get him, which I get. And I know this thing, well, it was a black guy for a black guy. It was two black guys that aren't really black guys. Right, yeah. That's what it is, even trade. Right, right. And that's what you need to understand as well. It is an interesting thing. Is if Tyler Harrow was Tyler Heronocus, but he was like the same person, the Greeks would still accept Yanis more than Tyler Harrow. If Tyler Harrow was Greek because Tyler Harrow is acting black. (laughing) - Glad to see you. - And Greek people just don't like that. [BLANK_AUDIO] - But they're Yannis Antiquim Pupu. - Then they really like that. - So it's a very, it's nuanced, it's human behavior, but I can tell you-- - It's fun, fun, fun though, isn't it? - It's fun, fun, fun, and I can tell you with 100% certainty that Greeks like Yannis more than Tyler. - So Yannis is a good family man. - Great family man, and good values. - Good values, and he's so kind of profound, and he feels like he lives life for the right reasons. Like even with winning and losing, he doesn't, you know, it's very American about you. If you win, if you don't, you know, if you lost, you know, if you didn't win the championship that you lost, he doesn't look at life that way. He's like, "We're playing the game." - Yeah. - Which I appreciate about him. I think that that's healthy. - Yeah, I mean, look, he's still one of the best players look at those numbers. - He's gonna go to the hall. If his career ended, he's already in the hall of fame. - Without a doubt, that's unbelievable this time. - Well, I do think he's on the back, I mean, he's on the back nine. - Of course, he's 31 years old. - He's been playing since he was 1819. - He's been in the NBA since he's 1819, every the whole time. - He just came in, he was like 18 years old, and 19 years old in the Milwaukee Bucks. - Yeah, he's great, and we'll see, but I will say, I still don't think that they can beat the Knicks or the Celtics. I think that you'll see the Knicks Celtics or the Pacers, being one of the top East teams. - I mean, him and Bam, Bam on Dubai, who is-- - It's just not enough though. - But it's a nice defense. - Yeah, it's not enough. It's, yeah, it's a nice defense, but it's just not enough. - Knicks, if the Knicks keep the team together, maybe add something, I would be very-- - You need a very shooter. - They need a shooter, but I would be very careful at messing with the chemistry, especially, you know, with the people up front. I mean, Jose Alvarado, he's got to stay. I just think for chemistry, he's got to stay. I know there's-- - For New York, I have a recon player. - But I think that that matters. I think that that matters a lot more. I think like he galvanized the crowd. He's got to stay, and I mentioned him in my wedding vows. I mentioned Jose Alvarado, 'cause I knew that we got the Puerto Ricans going. - You did. - I said that-- - It got Sergio interested. - I said, yeah, I said at one point in my vows. I said, I said, you know, when we had our daughter, a lot of people counted us out, 'cause we barely knew each other. I said, but one thing I've learned about Jose Alvarado in the New York Knicks is you never count Puerto Ricans out. And it got nice, and it got a nice laugh, and then it got someone to go, "Woo, hell yeah!" - Yeah. - And that was probably from Jasmine's side of the family. - That was that pre-written, was that off the dome? - That was, no, it was pre-written, but I took James Madden's advice to leave some things open, and the improv off the dome, I said, now I'm becoming bored, you know, today's the day I become Puerto Ricans. - I improv that. - And then at the end, when I said, I love you, Jasmine, and here's to selling another 10 houses with you. That was off the cuff. - By the way, speaking of James Madden, we got a nice pick with him. - Things look good. No blood clot for Jay. - Yeah, and he's finally having his celebratory goal. - That's what it is, that's what we wanted to say. That's what we want to say, it's four months, health. It's all you want to hear is health, health and happiness. - Health and happiness, I got a quarter zone shot in my Achilles. So my Achilles feeling better, but I do have to get probably my Achilles, the place you came with me to, they told me they got to clean out my Achilles next week. So for the next two weeks, after next week, most likely I will be in a walking sandal. - Now, which it's really gonna be hard for you to take if I'm in a walking sandal, right? - Especially if your toes are gonna be out. - Yeah, my toes are gonna be out. I'm gonna be in a walking sandal. If your toes are gonna be out, that'll be even funny, which they gotta be. - I gotta be. - Clean out the debris. - Yeah. - Now, I've actually been thinking about like, I'm worried about being around the two of you guys because I know I'm gonna, I feel I believe in that sometimes, you catch the energy the people around you. - Okay, what are you doing now? - And I'm gonna catch some sort of injury. - Right. - My knee's gonna give out, or my ankle's gonna give it. - Being around who me and Jesse, yeah, you guys got old man injuries. - Of we do. - You got young man bodies with old man injuries. Jesse needs a new knee and you, you got grandmother feet. - I know, well, if you wanna stay young, the only thing you have to do, and only one of us is doing it in this room, is you gotta throw in a cuckoo for Cocoa Pops T-shirt. If you wanna stay young, then you have to dress like an 11 year old. - Cocoa Pops T-shirt, it's hard to take. - It's hard to take. - It's, it's, it's very funny. - Very Nick, and I really regret not inviting him to the wedding just because I really like to see what he showed up wearing. - That would have been fun. - Really would have really enjoyed that. It would have been nice to see him with a hat too. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Well, or, I mean, no, but as you saw, - He would have wore a hat for him. - Some of the certain members of Jasmine's family had those Puerto Rican hats on. - Yeah, they did. - We would have thrown one of those out for him. One of those called, Nick, those hats. - Panama hats. - Panama hats, they threw on some Panama hats. - Now you, you just, you on, now you never, you on what's been going on with you. Are you sleeping? What's been going on? - No, that beat up a little bit. - No, nothing, no, I'm fine. I'm totally fine. - 'Cause I got beat up this morning, this water in my basement, I got beat up a little bit. - Yeah, because normally, you never go in, 'cause I got you with that-- (laughing) - Glad to fall in love. - Yeah, how do you order it? Can you just say, can I get a doctor F? - I go, well, I said, no, I go. I always make sure I say, can I get a cappuccino with oat milk? - I always say, do you want to open? You want to take a book out of Tom Segura's, take a page out of Tom Segura's, book an open A cafe, and then we can name our coffees, coffee Lee Roy, or Dr. F. - Dr. F and we can just go and name, have some fun names. - Yes, I really would, and I do have some Lindsay's. - I regret at my wedding not naming the drinks. I should have did that, I should have did that, I didn't think, now that it's over, I'm regretting a little bit, I'm like, I should have thought more about that. I should have thought more about every detail. - It's okay, it's totally okay. - You did that too, right? I didn't do any planning for my wedding. - Zero. - No, nothing. - Now, did you, the day after your wedding, did you have, like, did your wife or her family, like, download about, like, all the things that went wrong, 'cause I feel like that's what women like to do. - No, but my, yeah, my wife was very upset about the lighting on the stairs, and she was able, she complained about that, and she was, you know, to the point where the guy was just like, take some of the money back, she was very upset about the flights on the stairs and the pictures. They were a wrong color, she was not happy about that. We were not thrilled with the DJ. - Okay. - So. - Did he give some money back to you? - I don't know. I don't know, but she definitely lets people know when she's upset, right? And those were the two weaknesses that was seen in the wedding. Otherwise, it was a fantastic wedding. And my family, you know, now they're my family, so I'll say my family, they go all out. They go all out. - I think they go all out. - They go all out. - About this on the podcast, right? - Yes, go all out. - But I just to reiterate, when he says that they've went all out, again, it was just me, Jazz and my two children, who went over to Yani's house to watch, I think, game two of the NBA Finals, and the spread that they had was, if you missed that episode, was nine pizzas, three trays of pasta, four cakes, and then homemade appetizers for, I have two little girls. - Yeah. - Nobody, nobody's coming to my house and leaving hungry or not having options. It's just, - No, you don't leave hungry. - We left with a pizza. - We do the food pizza, yeah. - Yeah, it's actually, it's funny. - And nobody feels in your family. Like, I know if that was me, I would say like, "Well, we ordered too much food, I spent all this money." But that's not how you family thinks. - No. - Whatever, well, order more. - Greek and Italians, like Italians are the same way. - You have to be over fed. - I will tell you, this legendary, it was so legendary. So, Brittany's friend had a wedding, and she's a tyrant, a tyrant, a tyrant, a tyrant from Jersey. - Like Tommy and Janet Tyrant. - Like a tyrant. - Yeah. - So she had a wedding, and the father, God rest his soul, and that's something Italians also do. - God rest his soul. - They mentioned somebody who passed, I mean, God rest his soul, God forbid, God forbid, God forbid, God rest his soul, that guy's shot, I'm telling you, he's shot. - Yeah. - God rest his soul, God forbid, God rest his soul, the father. He was a big man. - All right. - A large man, meaning it looked like he enjoyed culinary arts. - So we're not talking about muscles, this guy didn't have muscles. - No, he was a big guy. - He's a big guy. - He's a big guy, like, dude, you're like, dude. - Yeah. - You're like, dude. - Yeah. - And he also liked his cigars. - Yeah. - And so he was visiting his mom, and he died in a very Italian way. He was visiting his mom, who was in the hospital. He was visiting his mom, and he had a heart attack getting out of the car. - You're right. - And so God rest his soul. - Yeah, God rest his soul. - He ended up passing before his daughter's wedding. God forbid, God rest his soul. - So he died in the parking lot of the hospital visiting his mother. - His business money had a heart attack. He was almost close enough to get the help, but it's a very Italian way. That guy liked to eat, guy liked cigars, he's talking to a car, and you know, he took it right over there, and just the heart, his heart, the heart, just gave out, because it had no money to give. - Yeah. - It gave all it could. - It's what it is. - But this was right before the wedding, but he picked the food and helped plan the wedding. An Italian, a real Italian, I've never seen anything like this. I've never in my life seen anything like this to the point I always tell verse it. I wish he was there to see it, because he goes crazy over stuff like that. It was something that is still in my mind. It's still something. I just don't understand how someone goes to that level, but you just appreciate it when you see it. And you go, and this is just crazy. - Right. - So just to explain, the ceremony happens, very nice place out in Jersey. - Right. - Nice venue out there in Doa. Very nice. So you go to your ceremony, people walking around. You want this, you want that, then they go to ceremony, right? Drinks before the ceremony, then the ceremony. Then between after the ceremony, then you're walking to the cocktail hour. - Yeah. - Now the cocktail hour was something I've never seen in my entire life. The hallway down to the cocktail hour was stations of gourmet food, the hallway down. This is before dinner. - Yeah. So he had a guy making homemade pasta, right there. Sushi table, you know, I mean, where they're cooking for you. They're cooking for you at all these tables, guys with chef hats. It's like a line of all different restaurants. A rhyme of different restaurants on the way to the cocktail hour, to get into the cocktail hour room. When you get into the cocktail hour room, there was an ice sculpture that reached a ceiling. - Yeah. - Full of seafood. - Yeah. - Oh, yeah. - All the way down. - Like there's no way you could even get to the top of it. - I couldn't get to the top of it. It was an, he had an ice sculpture built. - Right. - Like somebody carved it. It was a sculpture of like a woman. Like, you know, like a naked woman with just seafood. - Yeah. - All around. - Yeah. - Lobsters. - Where you're laughing out loud. - I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was something, and that was one of the tables in the cocktail room. Then there was guys with lamb shakes. - Yeah. - Hanging off when they were, they were broiling lamb shakes. - Right. - And they were hanging them up. And he's lamb shakes. This was before dinner. - Right. - Lamb shakes and fucking drink tables. I mean, it was crazy. And then everyone goes into the dinner. And then it's like an eight-course dinner of the most delicious food, the most dekin of food. And then the dessert, it was just, - It was crazy. - It was crazy beating though. It even stopped you when you tried. - Everyone was like, full by the time you could, on the walk. - Right. - Because everyone was stopping. And you didn't know what to get. You're like, and all the food was like unbelievable. - So there's no way that there would, there had to be tons of way of food that nobody ate. - It was tons of food nobody ate, and he planned it. So before he died, he planned this thing. And you know he was there in spirit. Just like trying to, everything. - Trying to take a bite of things. - So I mean, that, yeah, I mean, that's the thing - And it's the Italians do that and Greeks do that. - Yeah, yeah. - It's just, it's just crazy. Like when you go to like a Greeks, they just keep bringing out the food. And so just, Jesse used to tell me stories about his grandma. She got, she would, she would just bring out the food and he would talk about how delicious the sauce was and how they thought that the flavor was in her hands. Because she did everything with her hands. So he would tell me that she would go to wash her hands and they'd go, "Oh my, no, no, the wash your hands." - Yeah. - No, that's where the flavor's at. Don't wash it, no, I don't like it. The secret maybe is just like, never wash your hands. - Never wash hands, yeah. - But then Jesse would tell me, she'd bring out the dish and another dish and then people would be like, "Mah, ma, I can't, like I can't." And she goes, "Oh, I forgot the chicken." And then she'd come with another trade saying, "Mah, what are you doing?" - Yeah, yeah. - It's just too much. - Well, you would just keep eating, right? - Right, Jesse. - You got to keep eating, yeah. - Absolutely, her hands look delicious. I think if you sauteed her hands, it would be the best meal you ever had. - Yeah, 'cause that's where all this garlic and the spices just stayed. - Oh yeah, they were dripping with oil. - Yeah, and how was that food? Was it crazy? - Yeah, yeah, it's funny. When you've been to the mountain top, when you've had true authentic food, it's hard to compete. You go one of these fancy places, restaurants, it's good, but when you've had the real deal. - And Italians are really serious about the meatballs. - Yeah. - They get very upset. They won't, like Jesse, like there was this place that had meatballs, right? It's a famous place, though. And it's out there where it was at Cobble Hill, a cow garden. - What Frankie? - Yeah, no. It's another place that was old school that was down here. And they were famous for the rice balls. - Yeah, right. - And Jesse refused, he was like, I can't do it. And he was serious, I can't, I don't wanna, I can't. There's no point to have a rice ball, there's no point to do it. It's not, if it's not my grandmother's, it's just no point. I mean, Italians get very serious about the meatballs at the rice ball. - Yeah, and it hit you in the ground. - Yeah, it's like, if we brought this rice ball in here, the big one, Chris Italia, he would tell you. He says the same thing. - Yeah. - He's like, oh, hey. - Yeah. - So my grandmother had four sisters, and they used to fight over who had better meatballs, and they wouldn't go to each other's houses anymore, but dinner, 'cause they would fight over who had better people. - That's a true story, right? - A true story, yeah. - Yeah, one of the funniest hilarious, one of the funniest things we went to, one of these real Italian restaurants, me, my dad and my brother. I don't know if I told the story in the podcast, maybe in the first rike. I can't believe we'd call it the first rike. - It's just what it is, it's just what we do. - Yeah. - But we went there, and my brother got a seafood pasta, and it was Italians from Italy. And the guy, the waiters were timely. So then my brother goes, can I get some, can I get some, he goes, can I get some grated cheese? Can I get some cheese? And the guy goes, he went, what? He went, he went, no. He went, no. And he just walked away. And my brother was like, weeding? - Yeah. - And like the guy didn't bring the cheese. - Just what to do it. - Yeah. - Italians just, they take it. - Yeah, like seriously. - Like in an Italian restaurant, do they even have ketchup? If you brought out ketchup like, would they even have it at a real Italian restaurant in California, whatever. Could you even get an item that they would have ketchup to go with? - I don't think you could, I don't think you could get that. I think they would call that, you know what I think they'd call that. - Yeah, I can't say to the podcast about texatia. - Yeah, I know what they would say. - Yeah, I think they'd call it something sauce. They'd call it something sauce. I think I know the word you mean, something sauce. - Yeah, and it's in here. - Yeah. - That would probably be a good name for for them. I would imagine that those two words went together to describe ketchup at some point. - Yeah. - Right, somebody went over to somebody's grandmother's house and they said, "Can I get some ketchup?" And they say, "We don't got any sauce here." - Yeah, it's so sorry. (laughing) - Just how Italian sauce. - Yeah, the Italians are funny. I remember one time I ordered a slice and I was just hungry and I was like, "Oh, you don't have to put in the oven." And he was like, "You want this with no heat?" - I said, "Yeah," he went, "All right." And he gave it to me. But he said, "No heat." - Yeah, like he couldn't, he couldn't. - He didn't want to do it. - He said it goes, "You want this with no heat?" - Yeah. - Yeah. - He's like, "This guy's a fucking retard." - Yeah. - He's a fucking retard. He got a slice with no heat. - What is he doing? - Fucking on the monitor. - He's like, "I gotta get some heat." - Yeah. (laughing) - Chee-chee. - Does it sound the Shopify? - Yeah. - It's Shopify is my favorite. I love Shopify. I love how easy it makes the experience. I hate it how long other things were. - Cause hate. - Hate it. - It was just bad. - Shopify, baby. Yes, you can get started with your own design studio. Hundreds are ready to use templates. Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand style. - Yes. - This is talking to all my grinders, my hustlers, my small businesses, my big businesses. - Work it. - Work it. Shopify is your right hand and success. - What if I get stuck? - Shopify is always around to share advice with their award-winning 24/7 customer support. Tackle all the important tasks in one place from inventory to payments to analytics and more. You don't got to save multiple websites or try to figure out what platform is hosting the tool that you need. Everything's in one place, making your life easier and your business operations smoother. Yes. So you see less cards go abandoned and more sales go, chee-chee. With Shopify and their shop pay button, sign up for your $1 per month trial today at Shopify.com/hyenas. Go to Shopify.com/hyenas. That's Shopify.com/hyenas, chee-chee, chee-chee. Woo. Hams, Nick, you better stop what you're doing and listen. We're talking about Hams. When thinning starts, it's not just your hair that takes a hit. It can change how you feel in day in, day out. Hams makes it simple to take control of hair root growth with personalized care that fits you like. - It just is taking its work. He's got like a full head of hair now. It's unbelievable. This stuff actually does work. 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Prescription requires, see website for full details, prescription restrictions and important safety information, individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral, menoxidil and Finasteride. - Now, cause today after the podcast, 'cause Tampa Tony's coming to stay with me for a week. - Yeah. - So I'm gonna have to get home, but I mean, I know you don't have to get the roof clean today, but you better bet your ass we're going to get food after this. - I'm actually hungry, I'd like to. - We have to get food big. And I'm gonna see what time, if my father hasn't left the house yet or where he's staying in New Jersey, then we're gonna go down to a little place called Hottos. - Now, the wedding was really nice, congratulations. - You have socks on. - I got socks on. - Okay. - Is this the Patreon or the normal? - This is normal 'cause we did the Patreon. - I went a little wild on the Patreon. - You went a little wild on the Patreon, so you're gonna wanna go to patreon.com/historyhinus because we said a lot of things and we read a lot of texts that not only we can't say at the Patreon level, we probably can't say it at the 25 channel level 'cause I've been criminated people. (laughing) - Yeah, we talked about your wedding on the Patreon. - It was really a good time. It was really good time. You're wearing a wedding ring now. - I'm wearing a wedding ring. - Now, where did you get the wedding ring? Is it, I like it, it's black, it's nice. - It's black, it's nice. It's from a little Jewish friend of ours named David Sherman. - Ooh, so that, he's a famous guy, right? - David Sherman's, I think, well, according to jazz, you know, it's a big jewelry place. - Yeah, this is how I know I gotta lose weight if I can fit your ring 'cause you're a bigger guy than me and this is just, my fingers are fat. Well, my- I was just able to get my ring off for the first time since Sunday, it's Tuesday already, today, because my fingers were so swollen from all the food that I couldn't get, I couldn't pull the ring off. I actually took skin off my finger to pull the ring off. - Why is that? 'Cause you're swollen? - Because you're swollen? - Well, from the sodium, but now it feels normal, so it's on, but I gotta be honest, it feels nice. Some things I've learned already is, I can't put in hair product with a ring, it messes it up. - What are you doing by the way now? - What's going on up there? - It doesn't look right. - No, I'm just, no, for me, for me whenever I see shave here, like it will, you know, you go, you're constantly going back and forth between soho and an out of burrow kit. - Well, as Tommy described it, this is World Cup here. - Yeah, you got World Cup here. - And just don't, where are we doing? Are you now Argentinian? - Yes, so what I've decided to do now, is I've seen the World Cup players these last couple of weeks, and they said, I'm getting one of their haircuts. - But you said you don't think it looks bad. - No, it just looks like you got your hair cut in Corona quince. Well, I might be preparing for a move back there. What, where, what, did you go for a different style? Did you tell the guy, let's try something big for him? - I told him, I want, because you have a mullet. I got his hair back here. - Yeah, I told him, I want him to grow it out. I want to grow it out a little bit, but at the sides, you know, I don't want the hair of my ear, so he just decided to shave the side of my head. - I like that. - I'm gonna go down a little bit. - I like that. - Yeah. - I like, can we continue this? - You want me to keep going? - Can you, can we go full mullet? - Does it look like a mullet, Nick? Does it, do I look like a, what do they call it, the Colombian haircut, a seven? Can you do that, just one for me, one time? Just one haircut for me again? - Yeah. - If we, can we just do one haircut? - Which one do you want back to the shaved partner hair? - You like that one? - I like, that was gotta go back to Panache Salon on Thursday, everyone be ready for Stefano. - When you used to get like the real Stefano, the real Italian haircut. - Yeah, I like, it used to shave the partner. - Stefano was a great barber too, 'cause he just, it was like an old school Italian restaurant like you could tell him what you want it, but he was gonna do what he wanted. - Yeah, I love, 'cause it always made a good choice. - There was something about Stefano, who I like to call the man with the golden clippers. - Yeah, and with the golden clippers. - But he told you people don't have that. - He, people, this isn't, you know, a lot of people don't have it. They don't appreciate, they don't know about it. - Yeah. - And also, something I liked about it, is just really nice to go into a barber shop where the father and the son, - Yeah. - Are writing his sons. - Two sons and the, and the brother's there, and it's just a family business. - He has a really calm energy about him, because I think he's a guy who kills deer, and there's something about real men that are calming. - He kills deer, he, like you say you get calm, you get real, you feel nice and secure when you're around time he glutes you, right? - Yeah, big time, yeah. - Yeah, he's the kind of guy, too, where you're just safe in that barber shop, you can kind of say anything, you won't offend them. I mean, anything. - And it's fine. You kind of feel like a man in there, they'll all feel a little espresso. - Yeah. - I got a little espresso. - That's so classic. - Nice, you know, and they laugh, and they joke, and you know, and they're the guys like, when they sit on where you move in, and I said, "I'm gonna go up to Westchester," they said, "Westchester," they were like, "What are you moving to fucking Mars?" What's out there? How far is that guy? Because for them, distances just, you know, they're like, "Why are you going so way close?" So back to Staten Island, 'cause for them, distances is how far you from Brooklyn. - From your mom. - Or from your mom. - From your mom, yeah. - Because for them, 'cause Westchester is, it's all relative, right? It's not that far if your family's there, but to them, that's far. - Yeah. - 'Cause they're just saying, "My mom's in Calgary." See, yeah, 'cause Jesse's got a dilemma, 'cause he's half Italian, right? - Right. - So he's still got the string attached to his mom. - Right. - But then he's got the Jewish side that wants to just kick her out to Florida. - Yeah, it's just like this. - It's just, it's just, it's, it's, he's got a conflict of Italian size, like I got to visit my mom, and then the Jewish side of his brain goes, "Ugh, I gotta get it to Florida." - I don't argue that because Jesse's father is Italian and the mother is Jewish, and I would say Jesse is coded and mostly Jew. - Yeah, those, they, they, because they say that. I, they say, if you come through to Jewish, meet curtains, you get Nick. I think that, I think that, I would say, I would say Jesse's got a heavy code of Jew. Yeah, I think what happens, what I've noticed with the secular Jews that I know. - Yeah. - I know a lot of Jews, grew up with a lot of Jews. The secular Jews, they become more religious as they get older. - Right. - I've noticed, I think a lot of people do that though, right? 'Cause they get scared of death. - So like, let me get right. These people go, that might be fairytale and they go, I'm listening. - Right. - Whatever. - Right. - I'll take whatever, whatever's gonna ease, let me give you a little lubricant. Let me give you a little lubricant. - Yes, a little lubricant. - Because I know I'm, I'm getting on the runway soon. - Yeah. - Yeah. - It's shit. Now what was this Brazilian guy's name again? Was that Ronaldo? - That was the first Ronaldo. - Right. - Because by the way, I mean, again, I'm not a soccer fishin' out of it, but I know that Lionel Messi, if he wins the World Cup again, 'cause I know he's got the most goals, there's kind of like no debate anymore. He's the greatest of all time. He's like just, he's like blowing past Ronaldo. Do you like Messi or no? - Fuck Argentina. - Wow. - Yeah. - So you think Christiana Ronaldo's the best player though. - Who's your team? - Who do I and Sheila, but? - Oh, right away. - Where was he going? - Where were you going? - Didn't they just tie Cape Verde? - Yeah, the fucking stuff. - What the fuck is Cape Verde? He's coming out of nowhere. - I don't know what you're, you're like the Knicks. They always played down to their opponents. So like, if they play against a big team like Spain or something, they'll try to do better. But anytime they pick like a random country that no one's heard of, they're like, you know. - You're the guy I suppose, and do they solve that guy who bit somebody last World Cup? - No, his knees are all fucked up but he was in the audience watching the whole play. - Oh, that dude was really good. - Yeah. - For us. - That was two World Cups ago when he picked the guy. - He bit somebody. - Yeah, that's a very funny thing to do. - Oh, not like that. - Tryanquilo. - Tryanquilo. - Have you tried, approaching a girl and talking that instead of going, hey, have you, when you know my Hulk Hogan's documentary? - They hate it. - I mean, that's a beauty. - No, I think the Spanish is nice. - I thought it was not hard. - Yeah, that was sexy. - The Spanish on you is good. - Because yeah, the English is not. - Yeah. - The Spanish on you works good. - Now, did you know about the original Ronaldo? I think everyone in Brazil has named Ronaldo. - Right. - But the old Ronaldo, the most famous Ronaldo, he got caught with a trans woman. - Really? - I didn't know that. - Yeah, he got caught with a child's swim in Marissa. That was a big story. - But in Brazil, that's just a woman. - And they just, well. - There's a lot of trans in Brazil. - There's a Brazil, that's right. But it was a big story. You know what's funny about these soccer players? They are so famous around the world. And then America, I think they could walk into the supermarket. - Yeah, nobody, yeah. The fact that I even said what's that guy's name again would be shocking to people who are fans of soccer. - Right. - Yeah, like Leon Olmessi, if you go to his Instagram followers, or if you go to any of the big socks, it's like 400 million followers. They're the most famous people in the world. And America, that's how ethnocentral we are. We're like, bro, your name's not Jake Paul? - Yeah, I don't know. - Fuck you. - I mean, Messi, I would, of course, know who he is. But Messi's world. But the other ones, yeah, I mean, a lot of these players, I'm just hearing from for the first time, and they are fucking superstars. - Yeah, I mean, soccer is just. - Well, there's too many leagues in soccer for me. It's like in the NBA, there's just one NBA. It's like in England, it's like you got the Premier League, then in Spain, you have La Liga, then there's all these leagues. So I'm like, how do I follow all these games and teams? Like, can I make a one country league? - Right, you know? - Yeah, they won't do it. - They like the complicated. It's kind of similar with boxing. You're going like, how many belts are it? How many leagues do you talk about? - That dilutes it too much. - Yeah, David Jermin. - Well, no, but before you had the Ronaldo, the Trans, yeah, Ronaldo in Transvestite scandal. So you were right about that. I mean, but I mean in Brazil, he picked up three prostitutes, only to discover at a motel that they were trans women. He accused them of extortion and no criminal charges. - After he came. (laughing) Right? That's the thing. After he got a blow. - After he got a blow. - This was all the way back in 2008. Do we have pictures of these ladies? - Yeah, these ladies, yeah. - I mean, Ronaldo. - Yeah. - I mean, so there's prettier ones out there. - I could have told you. - I mean, Ronaldo, there's prettier ones out there, boss, especially for you. - I mean, Ronaldo seems like a fun kid. - Yeah, he seems like a fun, fun kid. - Yeah. - Yeah, it was a big, big story because he, at that time, he was like Ronaldo. Remember that, Nick? It was like, just Ronaldo. He was the original Ronaldo. - Right. - And he was like, the most famous guy on the planet. - Right. - And this was like, the kid just, he wanted to blow off a little steam. - And he just wanted it. - I mean, you win the world's cup. I mean, can I bang a guy? - Is it funny? Like, when you get that famous, you get to this point where you go like, "Can I do this thing?" And like, the tug, the pull, the crave. - The crave. - The kid had a crave. He had a big crave. He's like, his crave built up so much, he ordered three. It's just what, it's like when you go to the sweet market and they say, "How many cupcakes do you want?" You've built it up that crave for a little while. - Yeah. - So these were his cupcakes and he would give me three of them. - Give me three of them. - Yeah. - Because it was my wedding weekend. - Sometimes you just want tits and dick. - Tits and dick. I mean, I had since Friday. I've had five blueberry muffins toasted with butter. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And that's like what he's doing with prostitutes. - Now, whose decision was to put the tiny pieces of cake as or derves? That was a nice, the olive cake was delicious. - That was good, but that was supposed to be like, just in addition to the cake and we realized on the day of the wedding that we never ordered the cake. - You forgot about the cake. - So you guys were supposed to get cake and those literal derves. But then, you know, it's just what it is. And I actually said, as a, you know, kind of half. Joking I was like what if we just order 10 ice cream car velcakes and have them cut it up That would have been fun. I said it and then but jazz was just like she was like let's just it's fine Because people started leaving already. Yeah, and the music who is the DJ we did jazz did a playlist Oh that's really nuns as the band, but then she wanted like just like a playlist But we should have in hindsight we should have gotten a DJ, but jazz just put it all together Richie nuns was unbelievable. I mean he should he was really like the singing was yeah He's he's a really really counted it and I mean genuinely handsome. I mean Ronaldo would like to pick him up Yeah, how do you know that guy? He we saw him there at a restaurant scarpedas. This is four years ago We saw him like he was just singing and we were like we I walked up to him I'm a kind of very similar to kid Harrington. I just walked up to him and I said I want to get to know you I mean look at this guy. I mean I mean What is he do? He has a band and he plays at weddings a lot or well no dude He traveled he does like us like he has a residency in Chicago. He plays like how we do comedy clubs He does restaurants. Yeah, like but it's very similar career path. Richie nuns. You know he does albums Yeah, follow him Richie news. Is it news and you ZZ? Oh, yeah, Richie nuns. I keep saying nuns But it's Richie nuns. Yeah, I mean this I would say this kid is smooth like butter He's smooth like butter that's been left outside the fridge. Yeah, and guess what and he's also a kid from Long Island So it was good you kept your wife away because he's long Island kid. Yeah, you gotta keep him away But yeah, that's how smooth he is when you cut into it. It's a little melted. It's a little melted little butter All right guys go to patreon.com/historyhainus. That's where all the fun happens We're gonna read out the newest members of the matriarchy Funniest name wins the prize. Okay, here we go Leading off the list Tomahashi Chan then we got Chrissy Squirtz glue Then we got Michael Jackson found my Neverland It's what it is kid got abused Chicken finger. Okay, then we got grumpy monk Then we got listening to the pod a little too loud with the windows down and now the lyroids are staring Okay, it happens with some drags a good one J Allen then we got in the program straight on a tranny timeout It happens it's when all though I'm gonna put him on the list. All right. Yeah, I like that one. I like that one. Get him on then we got a rad Venti iced Dr. F Chicken finger. Nice. They got big-time chiropractor to verzy and even hebert. Wait, what what? Oh, it's is that is that a Verzy's a chiropractor, maybe I don't know Ryan O'Gorman Chris Screwed stew and who knows it was the Jews? Okay, Vlad 14 I run faster horny than you do scared Kids warmed up weighs on seeing Okay, oh god. Yeah, sorry about that right. Sorry about that ladies robby will coke it. We can't control the people Yannis poopus Trash pig Sally sells she sell Sally sells seashells by the seaspix Jesus I guess they must have decoded that or did you ever just plank come out and say that I Might have just come out and set it on a patreon Yeah, Frankie's five angels pseudogenius of the squeaks AJ Rezak grant Charbonne spent $40 on you instead of of you better make me come Oh only fans. Oh, okay. Yeah white guy sitting on a stoop Chicken finger. Okay, good visual. Kaylee. I've got a situation with the mother Anthony Vlad 14. It's a good one. This is just for let's you walked into that. It's a really dark one John Rodriguez the Eucharist body of Christ but with fuck feet Okay, oh you Chris like they took the tea off very Chris body of Christ, but with fuck that it just serves a very strong Jaxler for the word play. Yeah, yeah Start spread in the Jews. I'm Tel Aviv in today I'll put it on the list. Yeah, it's nothing offensive in the Jews. Very funny. Yeah, even today Straight to the back of my hormones Very good I'm a Drexler it Um jerking off thumb up my ass. I call it going app-sailing I don't get it Okay, AOC's balloon knot Okay, we've had I think we've had that yeah Nick the Italian kids so you know who my father voted for Russo We definitely do Kanye's brand-new pill dispenser It's pretty funny. Yeah, a kid definitely has has to carry that around 100% yeah I'm gonna chicken finger that Yani P and Chrissy D would use to go with me Um, go with me. Yes, we'll go with you Seth leading man face best friend body Klein AD Tim if Yani and if Yani and Manny Wait if Yani and a man. I ran has had the sun. He'd be a psych. I don't know Sorry victim of bad read, but this is just too many words. Sometimes it's too many name You're trying to jam too much in yeah, you got to trim the fat. Yeah put the wrong sock on now my toes are glued together Put them on the list. Just what it is. It happens uptime. Yeah, it's just what. Yeah, it's just yeah contender Uh, skinny white boy from Atlanta. I'm a twigger. Okay ladder 14 You think on the list, Nick. I think saying on the list. Yeah, I think it cause you what do you think it goes in the list? Yeah, okay Congrats on the wedding, but you're He's actually in It's just what it is. You put on the list racks of tracks, okay? Uh Yanis poppies and cash potels the cross eyepiece very good. Yeah, uh, Drexar new look Noah cuss around Paul Tasselupis Alex Rodriguez sweat my chimney then went in for a kiss Put him on the list. Okay. I like that. I like that. It's interesting. I like she might be a keeper. Yeah Uh, Lake country septic servicing Oklahoma screwed in screwed in Chrissy's real Broadway role is in rent Is that an age joke? Yeah, yeah Drex. Yeah, jacked off by so many Asians call me gangus come put him on the list. It's what it is We got see this was going slow and then it's just catapult after catapult guys have to keep listening. Yeah true blue cuck Chris real mark flores suit covered chimney charmer Frisbee DIY call it you at yourself It's good. Wait a second. Not that offensive I'm gonna Drexler because there was a better one, but that I mean You know the list. Yeah, girth brooks my dick looks like Anne Frank Okay, hmm perks hazy field goal kicked call my girl bush 11, but I've seen stranger things Okay creamy tear crump it to aoc with the boys Times Square bus repair service vegetable mover JB Irish dagger snorkel and glue Justin you can hold for John Lugana Alex Hunter Alice laser beam Jedi aka mace Hindu made the fumes be with you Okay, Evan Asian Caucasian cuisines where two wongs do make it white Ways on seeing list it. Yeah, okay list it list it List it. Yeah, Ricky nutted in my eyes just to see how far I have come that's a shirt Yeah, there was somebody made a Picture of you with that. I think that's probably an expression. It's been around cold for backup, but still shop Jesus Christ Come on that one bad Jesus. Yeah Update aoc fisted me now. I'm a full fucking quad Okay, well, I don't get it. I don't know. Yeah your sausage Linky and my Buddha Chege is a kawinky dinky Alan Perez my latina wife is amazing. Chrissy don't do it Gursby Bernie man darlin fulmer keys pantake house old forge new york screwed in cuss screwed in there you go Had prison sex, but was not in jail Put him on the list. That's what it is. There's too many fucking favorites on here. I hate when this happens I wish they would spread them out Balls so blue. I call the mole to clean my circuit again The mole. Oh, okay, tuna then last but not least a watermelon walked into Wakanda and got sent to Valhalla real quick Probably probably a racist joke that we don't get. Okay. Yeah. All right. Here's the list In the program straight on a tranny timeout. Okay, we're gonna direct through that. Okay start spreading the Jews. I'm telev even today I'm keeping that around. I like that one good word play put the wrong sock on now my toes are glued together To keep that around skinny white boy from Atlanta. I am a twigger. That's so good, but we're gonna chicken finger. Okay Sweat my chimney then went in for a kiss. Very funny. We're gonna Drexler it Jacked off by so many Asians call me gangus come. We got to keep that one around what it is Yeah, it's got to keep that around around. I gotta do Asian Caucasian cuisines where two wangs do make it white very funny It's unfortunate Drexler. Okay had prison sex, but was not in jail. That one is really funny And it's really funny. So we got four where in the final four so the four are start spreading the Jews I'm telev even today put the wrong sock on now my toes are glued together Jacked off by so many Asians call me Jen gets come and had prison sex, but was not in jail. Okay, the thing that we have a lot of funny gay ones I don't know what we do. Can you read the first? - First one, start spreading the Jews. I'm Tel Aviv in today. - We're gonna acknowledge you, very funny. We're gonna chicken finger. It was a good hardcore tight joke. - Just yep, just not in the cards for you right now, but that's okay. - I hate it. - Put the wrong sock on. Now my toes are glued together. - That one's just got to stick around. - Stick around, funny. - Jacked off by so many Asians called me Jen gets come. - Okay, now that could win. Either one of the, when you get narrowed down, what that means is you could win on a worse or less. - Sure. - That's just what the Drexler means. So just know that you're not a loser. You're a winner, but I have to Drexler you. I'm sorry. - So which one, Jacked off by so many Asians called me Jen gets come. - Yes, it's chicken finger that. - So then it is between put the wrong sock on. Now my toes are glued together and had prison sex, but was not in jail. - There we go. - So those are the two. - You always do this right. - So these are the two. - So put the wrong sock on. Now my toes are glued together or had prison sex, but was not in jail. - What do you think Nick? - Nick, what do you like? - I like prison sex. - Jesse, I'm gonna go a little bit more innocent. I'm going with the sock. - I'm going with the sock too. - So wow, it's on me. - It's on you 'cause either you make it a tie or you end the series in five, Nix and five. - Nix and five. Well, you know, it's interesting. I think last week I may have won another way, but this week, since I've become fully Latino, and I know that when you become fully Latino, like I became this weekend marrying Jasmine, it's okay to hate other Latinos now. So I'm gonna say, Nick, fuck you. I'm going with put the wrong sock on. - It's very fun. - That's what it is. - Yeah, it's a good call. - So that's the winner. Go to historyihinasisback.com, so you name up in lights and patreon.com/historainers. Where all the fun is happening. We thank you so much for the support. Hope you enjoyed the episode.