Cow Print + Potatoes

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. You got there at 10. I got there at 10. 10.15, by the way. Got there at 10.15. Immediately, I was doing bits. And I had to show you the sixth episode of Overcompensating. Tattle knockout. I've got a TV show. Hey, Lister! Okay, so I don't have to pretend I haven't seen it anymore? No, no, no. Like, I do this thing where it's like Mary Beth has to pretend she hasn't seen everything I've ever done, ever. Including Hole? If I send you my Hole, it's like at a certain point. So I've been being like, I can't wait to see it. No, I know. It's called being an actor. And I don't like lying. You know, I hate liars, so. Totally. I think I lie so much less lately. I had that thought recently. I don't know where the lies start and where the truth begins. Or I don't know where the lies end and the truth begins. Mary Beth carries baskets like this everywhere she goes, by the way. So much love to the Fringe podcast team. And on the ones and twos. Who's today? Just revealed to me, we'll bleep her name. No, don't say it. Don't say it. She didn't know what the f*** it meant. No. And she would say f*** it. Are you comfortable with this? She would say it willy nilly. Her co-workers will know. She goes, hey f*** it to everyone in class. To her teachers. We're cutting this. The substitute teacher. We do not have consent to share this. Do we have consent? She said she's never told anyone this. We'll bleep your name. I am so sorry for my sins. That's all I have to say. But you don't mind? We'll do a deep voice edit. But you don't mind if we say this? Yeah. It's okay. Why I think this is incredible. Honestly, I've been wondering how to come out with that. And this is the place. And you wanted to do it on Ride the Pod. Yeah. And I'm genuinely so sorry. It's okay. You were young. You didn't know. You were told in your small town community, which we'll get into later. Pride is not a party. She was told that it was a term of endearment. And then she moved to the big city, New Jersey. And I said to her, I said, no one died at Stonewall. And she goes, bummer. That's what she said. Did you just come up with that? I guess, yeah. That's incredible. I mean, baby. You're cooking. Let him cook. Let him cook. So I show up to, I love you, by the way. Warmest energy ever. I know. We had this gift basket ready, which, and this is important for later, but she got Diet Cokes for you and a Coke and a Coke Zero. Like you're bringing these home. This has a football helmet on. Did you do custom? Just say, yeah. Oh, she's using a football helmet. Can we just talk quickly about the Sydney Sweeney ad? Really, really quickly. And then we'll get into, if you haven't girl problems, I'll flip out for you, son. If you, I got 99 problems at 81. And that's my brother. Cause I go, me rebounding for you. I used to love, I would do anything to spend time with my siblings. I was the youngest child. So they could trick me into doing like chores and stuff. Like I was an indentured servant. Well, they would say, can you go upstairs and get my thing? I'll time you. Oh, and I'd be like, you got it. Off to the races. You got it, buddo. You got it. What did they call me? Doodlebug. We're getting, we're doing, we're doing too much, too many levels right now. We're going to have to come climb back out the levels. Do you get that? We have to come back to this. Yeah, exactly. We have to go from the falling into the water, from the snow banks. Into the elevators or whatever. Yeah, yeah. So anyway, we'll talk about doodlebug in a bit, but let's talk about this. And you can't see this, but. Me rebounding for my brother. Hair on nipples. Me up on the hoop. Hair on nipples. My hog, my hog touching the rim. Spread eagle. Spread eagle. Well, we're going to carpool for advertising next week. And I think like, this is just. It's like, there's so much and so little to say at the same time. But I think what's cool is that I've never, I'm always being kept guessing. Well, it's this thing of, have you ever seen something completely new? Totally. And that's so rare that you're going to have that. Yeah. So an AI generated Sydney Sweeney gambling ad, at home gambling ad where she spread eagle on a basketball hoop. Is it AI generated? She signed off on it, but I don't think that she, I don't think she was involved physically. That's my big theory. Her body looks like it was made on a computer. Computer? Make me Sydney Sweeney. Yeah, I guess so. I didn't realize that. I guess that did it. You know, I'm a big into conspiracy theories. My one big one, Jeffrey Epstein's not dead. Two, I think that Sydney Sweeney was not on set that day. I think they used her likeness and she totally signed off on it because she wants to be a billionaire. But I don't think that she physically sat on the hoop. Do you think she physically sat on the hoop? I just, oh my God. It's like, sometimes I see stuff. I don't think she did. I see stuff like that. And I'm like, you know, what they, what they don't tell you in the biz is like your hole has to go somewhere and it's touching something. So just thinking of having to sit on that and having your. I'm walking on air tonight. Tonight. Tonight. Walking on air. Walking on air. She performed that on SNL. A lot of people don't know that. That's me on. She's me at recess. The guys are trying to play bump. I'm up there with my bubbies out going, no. You're patting, you're swatting all the shots away. It's so Duddy. That's so Duddy. Wait, wait. This is Duddy's dream date. Finally, Duddy falls in love with a guy. She goes, meet me at Madison Square Garden at this time. He walks in. It's empty. Then all the lights touch the center court. Yeah. Center court. But she's on the hoop. So she actually kind of shrouded in darkness. She's up there. Spread eagle. And she goes, do you want to play a game? And he plays bump. And she doesn't like it. Have you ever seen Duddy and Sidney in the same room? What if she's a sleeper agent? We don't know. That should have been me up there on that hoop. Okay. So I got 99 problems. Oh, so I show up to Mary Beth's apartment. And initially, I was taking a shower to get there at 10. And I was in the shower and it just came to me. And I said, if you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son. I got 99 problems, but it ain't one. But you were in the shower? So I was in. You. She was in the shower. You were in the shower. I'm getting to my point. I promise. I brought sustenance. This basket from Fringe. I bought sustenance. So I immediately think, oh, my God. You were in the shower thinking of that. It's so me. You have taint out, by the way. Of course. I'm washing it. Make it as a day before. Hey, I had taint out and I was washing it. You guys should try it. Jesus Christ. So I'm in there. And I just think to myself, holy fuck, that's me if I stayed in the closet. I married a woman and had to perform at like religious assemblies. This is how I start the day. It's quiet. The light hits me. Sydney Sweeney. Me and Sydney Sweeney on stage. Center court. If you haven't got problems, I feel bad for you, son. Hit me. And then it starts today and it's talking about virginity. I talk about virginity. I did that the second I walked in her apartment. And then I did the second bit for you. When I auditioned. I auditioned a new bit as well. I loved your bit. Well, I auditioned two bits too. Both rocked. One I can't say on the pod. Don't waste either. They're so good for a special. No, that I don't know who Ed Sheeran is. Oh, that you don't know who he is? I just go, no. Who is that? You know what's funny? I couldn't tell you. Who is he? Does anyone know? How is he playing stadiums? I've got a couple of those. I've never heard of him. Yeah. I've got a couple of those right now. Explain it. I know. Sweetie. And as I told you before the podcast. Where's my Sally? Do you know what I mean? I'm not responding to that. Male singers. I will not be opening for Ed Sheeran on tour for a few reasons. But the biggest one being that I don't like the music. So I formally withdrawn. I never was asked, but I've withdrawn. That's my public statement on that. And we are excited to hear you say that here on Fringe today. Thank you. At Fringe Podcast. Thank you. Game of Thrones is Ed Sheeran. Wasn't he in that? That's the only thing I know. Someone told me that. Hold on. I posted on my story. And I just. I want to quote this Baroni. I can only imagine she listens to the podcast. I said, okay, I'll bite. Who is Ed Sheeran? And she goes, nothing for you to stress about. Don't worry, Angel. He's already taken care of and dealt with. I love these kids so much. I ran into a Baroni the other day on the corner. And she goes, I'm going to a solid core class. Do you want to come? And I was like, actually, like, I probably would any other time. I did just work out. Have fun at that. But she was so warm and lovely. And it was that thing where if they asked me, any questions in person, I just answer. Oh, my God. So thank you for bringing this up. Yeah. I went to the U.S. Open with the Aliyah with the hood. Come on. I mean, like, that's sports attendant privilege. It's sports attendant privilege. I went. And by the way, Sydney Sweeney went. She had a racket up her butt. She had a racket. She was on the carpet. It was a peacock tail. She said, hey, guys, watch this. She was in the Trump Trump Tower box. The Trump Tower box. Sponsored. Sponsored by Raising Cane's. There's a place called Raising Cane's, by the way. MGK was in the Raising Cane's group. I'll have you know, they had a paddle for all the Raising Cane's people. And he went with the group. Do you know I went on a date to Raising Cane's? With a girl or a guy? Guy. Okay. Well, at least there's that. So I met this thing, which people commenting, oh, wow, they're socialists, but they're rich. I went for free. Thank you, Moe, by the way. I paid zero dollars for that. Thank you, Moe Shambin, by the way. Thank you, honey. So as we were leaving, there was sort of this gridlock situation. So I'm standing next to George Bush's daughter. Obviously, I'm starstruck. I don't approach because I'm just like, I'm a fan first. Which one, by the way? Jenna Bush Hager. Totally. Well, as I was leaving the U.S. Open, privilege, women's final. God, when are we going to fucking kill you? Soon, I think. And when do I get to wipe you? That's the guy at the religious camp. Yeah. Well, in private. So I'm leaving, there's gridlock in the garage with all these SUVs. And so I decide I'm going to take matters into my own hands. It was a situation where my car was blocked by two other cars that were diagonal. And both those drivers got out of their cars to go talk to the people directing traffic. So I said, I have one precious life. I'm going to walk with the people, the proletariat. And I walked to the Uber pickup, couldn't get a car. I then start, I run into a Baroni. She's like, oh my God, I love you so much. Can I take a picture with you? We did a photo. And then I was like, how are you getting home? And she was like, I'm probably just going to like, I was like, should we walk to the subway? It's only like 20 more minutes. I'm in full stilettos, by the way. So she's like, why don't we just do it? We'll do it together. We'll go to the subway. So we ended up seeing a yellow cab on the way. We got in, asked it to turn around. It asked the driver to turn around and she was going to Upper East. I was going to Brooklyn, but we decided to just do two stops. And we bonded so much in the car. She's a mom, of course. She's not totally sold on the Upper East Side, but she's like getting used to it. It's different. It's kind of Delaware up there. It's really quiet. It's a lot like Delaware. She held a gun to you the whole ride. Yeah. Well, I told her a lot of state secrets. And then she told me about her sister-in-law in Michigan who loves the pods. So I'd say there was a lot. A lot of really cool stuff happening. What do you think about this? Yeah. And then when she was like, I'm just going to charge it to my company. Don't worry about it. Oh, my God. You went on a general. I pretty much went on a general. Oh, that's so cute. Yeah. She works for a law company, Law Tech. A general for anyone listening who's not in the entertainment industry. It's where an agent sets you up to meet with somebody and nothing comes. That you never see again in your life. Nothing happens from the meeting. They essentially just talk to you for 30 minutes. I'm seeing this as a new dating trend. If you go on a first date with someone and you never want to see them again, that's a general meeting. Yeah, it's just a general. It's a general. Easy. They got to know you. And they're excited to see what you come up with next. They'll think of you in the future. Send me any scripts. I love that too. Come on. Or they tell you about new projects. They go, we're excited. We're really excited. We have Paul Mescal in that one. He's playing a trans woman. And they go, what else do we have this year? And I'm like, God, fucking A. I'm sitting cross. I love Paul, by the way. We're huge fans. Couldn't love Paul more. And that's not real because I know he wouldn't do that. We're going to have Greasy and Paul in the pod at some point. Oh, my God. Yeah. And you're going to ask them their biggest fight. I literally can't wait. Yeah, I know. I'm going to do that. I want to see them scrap at this table. Come on. Let's open those wounds. No, C, D, let's fucking go. So, okay. Relationships are intense. They make us care deeply, feel vulnerable, maybe even freak out a little sometimes. That's human. But some people have relationships. Relationship concerns that go far beyond standard ones, like finding another person attractive, then immediately thinking, oh, my God, does this mean I don't really love my partner? Or needing constant reassurance that your relationship is right or that you're not making the wrong choice because you never feel sure enough. Or asking yourself the same question hundreds of times a day. Do I really love them? What if I'm wasting their time? And searching for some feeling of certainty that never comes. Many people think these sorts of thoughts and anxieties are just overthinking or commitment issues, but they can actually be signs of relationship. OCD. So many people think OCD is just about cleaning or organizing or making your books the kind of like rainbow pattern. But that stereotype couldn't be more wrong. Real OCD is a serious condition. I have it. Hey, we're distressing unwanted thoughts called intrusive thoughts get stuck on repeat and you feel compelled to do certain things, mental or physical behaviors called compulsions to try to make the anxiety stop with relationship. OCD compulsions might look like constantly seeking reassurance, replaying memories to see if you feel a spark or compulsion. Or comparing your partner to others. But what's given me so much hope is learning that OCD is one of the most treatable mental health conditions. When you get the right kind of specialized therapy, OCD needs ERP therapy, exposure and response prevention, which is proven to be the most effective treatment. And it did help me so much. No CD is the world's leading OCD treatment provider, and all of their licensed therapists specialize in ERP therapy with no CD is 100% virtual covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And includes support between sessions, so you never have to face OCD alone. Well, you never are anyway, because you're right here with me and my arms around you, if you consent to that. I love you, Stinky. To learn more about starting OCD therapy with NoCD, go to NoCD.com and book a free call with their team. That's NoCD.com. Love you. Oh my God, I love Beekeeper's Naturals. Keep this in. Okay, so I spray the Propolis Immune Support Throat Spray. Oh my God, it provides daily immune defense and soothes scratchy throats with vitamins, minerals, and over 300 beneficial compounds. It has like a sweet honey taste. I spray it at the back of my little, what's that called? The thingy. I love spraying that. Your daily dose of immunity for proactive immune support. Okay, this spray could do it for you. They also have a nasal spray max. It reduces histamine response. For nasal spray maxing. Oh God, oh my God, I can't stop nasal spray maxing. And flushes. And flushes congestion while providing an invigorating and clearing sensation, helping you breathe better. I have a whole thing about histamines lately. Like most of us are not really rocking with them. We need to take care of ourselves. So I'm glad I really got into the science of that. When germs start to increase during sixth season, Propolis Immune Support Spray is a daily ritual that provides defense for the whole family. You can also just throw it in your purse or clutch or in your bubbies. Yeah, you can throw it in your clutch. Yeah, exactly. And you take that out and you spray it in your mouth and it's so delicious. A non-toxic nasal spray. That cleanses and soothes nasal passages. Used daily as needed during sixth season to flush out irritants and soothe sinus irritation. There's also oregano oil, by the way, and it invigorates your sinuses for deep refreshing breaths. A simple daily ritual that protects your immune system proactively. That's so Taika. Today, Beekeepers Naturals is giving my listeners on my podcast an exclusive offer. Yeah, you just do it then. I don't care. Yeah, I'm good. I'm on my phone. Yeah, agreed. Hey, have fun. Go to beekeepersnaturals.com/ride or enter code BEEKEEPERSNATURALS on my podcast. Or enter code BEEKEEPERSNATURALS on my podcast or enter code BEEKEEPERSNATURALS on my podcast. Or enter code RIDE to get 20% off your order. That's B-E-E-K-E-E-P-E-R-S-N-A-T-U-R-A-L-S dot com slash RIDE. I went to Georgetown. Or enter code RIDE. Stock up now before the sixth season germs hit. Beekeepers Naturals products are also available at Target, Whole Foods, Walmart, Amazon, CVS, and Walgreens. So the other joke I did at your apartment, and I will finish that story. We have to ride for stuff today. I just want to chat. Like, oh my God, twist my nipples, dude. It's going to be quick rides. I really don't want to rush this opening. Totally. And well, let me tell you. The best song wasn't the single, kid. Oh my God, that's so me with like every record. Totally. Oh my God. Best song wasn't the single. Like, it's crazy that Lucky is on Oops, I Did It Again. To me, personally. I don't know. Yeah, that's actually kind of mind boggling. Isn't that like, just sit with that? They probably didn't think a ballot should be for, should be first in the zone, though, is the best song on in the zone, because what could be better than that song? Because if you really want to battle, let me get your rhythm. Try to hit the guitar. What was the other bit you did? I can't even remember. Sure. It was really good, though. I was doing guy who cool shirt, lesbian. The hell? Come on, dress up. We're on podcast. The book. Um, so don't leave triggering me because I, I got to, I'm going to London. Yes, Delta one. Now, um, I'm in American airlines. I don't know what their lay flat situation is called, but I'm sure going to fucking find out. Um, what do you want to know about this t-shirt? Well, first I want to say my favorite shirt. I'm a shirt and I have a gift for you in line with that. But what the bit I was doing at your apartment, look at me really focused, right? Type a that's classic me. And it's because you just had a cracker sandwich and a little shaken espresso rado. So I'm, I did this bit of straight guy. Who's kind of nervous to bring a girl back to his apartment, but also trying to show off. So I was like off the table. I was like, yep, I just got the place. And then I was doing like, like jumping pushups and it, I had you and our girl Fay. We were rolling on the floor. It was really fun. When I have two women who have a long day and I walk into, I walk into their space. I'm thinking, well, it might as well be a bullseye, right? This is going to be cracking up. This is where a gay man comes to life. This is where we show. Our worst. Here I, dear. I say, dear. I say, dare I say it was as good as you walking across the Williamsburg bridge to ceramic candelabras vintage after blowing up the chat, blowing up the group chat going, oops, it slipped and laughing with my bottom teeth. Um, sir. On the note of your shirt, I get into it. So nine 11, of course the 25th anniversary happened. My algorithm wouldn't let me stop. I actually had to like finally stop opening Tik TOK. I couldn't stop watching stories. My thing is that I wanted to be reminded, as I said, I think in a previous episode, I don't want to be like desensitized to things. So I'm trying to make sure like I can still like get in there, but oh my God, I like know way too much about like steel beams. Well, you know, my next big project, what is it? Huh? We're going to bleep this. Whoa, it's, it's going to be pretty fucking intense. it's hardcore we had to we actually we need to get the paddles just now she said bazinga yeah she just she actually relapsed she said epsiler again because of what i just said she's totally naked right now too with two basketballs over her chest we've lost her unfortunately we're gonna have to mix this ourselves i guess she's doing totally fucking awol well she just lost her life savings on callshe.com yeah timothy chalamet would like you to bet on callshe.com excuse me is this a thing he did sports betting ads yeah why does everyone want you to go bankrupt literally i'm like i want you guys to have money so you can pay for your doctor's appointments literally your dogs and so you can buy our merch and so you can buy ride stuff and like anytime we go like to live or you pay for a prime video subscription literally like dude it's not that big of a deal come on don't gamble this stuff away you only live once you literally work so hard for your money you're just gonna give it to richer people like that makes no sense gambling is like really scary because that's like that really can like totally ruin lives in such a deep way i did ride for it at one point but i take it all back i guess when i take it all back oh wait you're the ceo of the sydney sweeney sports betting app exactly i go guys i've got the ad you know the sexiest woman in hollywood yeah the tits that launched a thousand ships it was either her or lapida for helena of troy and christopher nolens the odyssey and you said i don't know which i want them to be focusing on you guys gamble all your money gamble your money remember when i did my sydney sweeney in front of an ex and he said it wasn't good he said is that it's not perfect it's just for fun it says it's a tape on her also it's like i want to get him to perfect it like i'm out here grinding sebastian stan you just keeps me saying i'm out here grinding because i i heard that i am amplifying it sebastian stan has shaved his head he's gone bald he's gone from our number one proponent of neutrophil smells like a trip to turkey to me sorry you smell that i just smelled a trip to turkey no i'm kidding sorry i all love to him and i don't know if that's true he's transitioned into bald legend straight from straight from neutrophil sebastian stand you see how quick and you see how quick a true legend is he's transitioned into a bald legend straight from neutrophil sebastian who artists can do that he's now become a bald legend you can't see this do you remember that what you keep bringing is that you will never bring honor to your family i used to scream that at my family and they go we know you're gay easy christian go but here's the thing if we go i was explaining this to earlier if we didn't have so much oppression we could have that as a term of endearment but unfortunately we've only regressed we haven't progressed i agree no and i agree amplify doodle bug i'm the doodle bug quit infantilizing me no honey says the guy who writes himself as an 18 year old how are you guys falling for it yeah i'm 48 so i love watching edits being like i came up with a new concept because i think it's like funny when straight couples have pet names for each other i think that's fine but to say them in public is like interesting i'm not judging or saying it's wrong it's like whatever works for you but i was thinking for us since we're just best friends yeah if i publicly started calling you doodle bug like at events and stuff doodle bug where's doodle bug all right go come here doodle bug we're doing the carpet we gotta do the press line doodle bug doodle bug i call you in an interview i love that yeah so that's something i'm working on well when doodle bug sent me the pilot oh benny that oh you mean sorry doodle bug yeah yeah oh my god yeah yeah sorry i like forget that's his name sorry i'm just like he's doodle bug to me or we have like a really like we have like a personal relationship too sorry that's db doodle bug oh my god i don't want to we have to i do and i don't do you get that oh wait my last thing i'll say should this just be the carpool with advertising we could say so quickly no because i think we want space to breathe for that joan's road down the john's road driving my car down the john's road okay so it's always fun to do an ad read without mary beth because i get to listen to her ads after she listens to mine it's a lot like um we've recorded something and they're playing it at the bachelorette party so i have used the jones road beauty miracle bomb for i think honestly years at this point but it's absolutely fabulous you can use it for a lot of people you can use your fingers you can dab dab dab it on those chica lenas you can also put it on your forehead it's kind of like a bronze blush hybrid it's not that like cakey makeup look it feels very fresh very sexy in the summer it's like oh my god i was just out in the sun all day it smells 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for you and your friends then you can find another group who are looking for the same vibe no blind date no forced pairing just your people doing something you were already going to do except now there's a possibility for new connections and maybe romance i'm learning about this feature for the first time i know i've known about it for a while you've been using it quite frequently of course with the group chat there's no pressure on any one person to carry the conversation you're just planning a night out that happens to include some new faces tinder makes that easy to do here's what i love about this tinder said in the words of catherine hudson i'm not just one thing exactly tinder has always been where connections wait wait you missed part of it hey hang on hang on maybe you all become friends maybe two people hit it off maybe three people hit it off either way i want to tell people to do that more during sex and dates going i'm not sure i could do that even if i wanted to either way you had a good night with your friends which was never in question tinder has always been where connections start now it's where you bring your friends along for the ride oh yeah come on try tinder group hangouts bring your friends pick a plan meet new people download tinder today of course i mean hey what could go wrong i mean it's not the craziest idea monopoly at mcdonald's is back monopoly at mcdonald's is back monopoly at mcdonald's is back you can't win if you don't play get your bag let's get to know what we ride for so today you will be writing for cow print moo whoa come on sally oh wait that was shadow from uh homeward bound that's not a cow impression okay um recently actually i ran into someone with a golden retriever and they said his name was shadow and i go after homeward bound and the guy just looked at me and said no and i went well there's a famous golden retriever in a very iconic film named shadow so we got a problem man because i got 99 problems but it ain't one and i ran in front of a car um i will be writing for taters potatoes as they're commonly known potato taters it's insane that we haven't ridden for this road for this yet well for a while i was gonna ride for japanese sweet potatoes and i guess i'll start there we're broadening we're zooming out yes so of course i'm an idahoan a boisean if you will and potatoes are famous from idaho a russet is my favorite if you wanted to know and i have loved potatoes every day of my life since the day i was born as long as i can remember i've loved a tater there's no there's never been a french fry i didn't love there's never been a sweet potato i didn't have to get to know and a japanese sweet potato has been fun to learn about in my 20s totally when i when all of a sudden california backyard cuisine said here's a japanese sweet potato and it It's always on the menu. Something happened. There was such a shift. All time in LA, I probably have had up to 1,500 Japanese sweet potatoes by them. There is a new California backyard restaurant opened by Australians in Greenpoint. Or no, it's not Greenpoint. In Williamsburg. The same owners of Glory Days have, they've, they had it. They birthed a restaurant. I'm in awe right now. Japanese sweet potatoes on the menu. Also like kennel and hazelnut type shit. You know what I'm saying? Pee-wee. So I went there. I actually went there on Saturday and it was so good. So it's called Gloria. Check it out. I'm going to take you there for a date night in the sky. I cannot wait. Japanese sweet potatoes. Oh my God. I just, they're never bad. Like that's what's so fabulous about a potato. And that's why, I mean, it's interesting. Idaho has such a crazy history with them. I'll get into it a little bit. There's this kind of like legendary billionaire. I believe billionaire from Idaho and his name was Simplot. And he worked. He worked with Roy Kroc at McDonald's and Idaho supplied the potatoes for the McDonald's French fry. And so I think that's mostly a part of the fame of potatoes. But also like we produce a lot of potatoes. And the Five Guys fries are, I think, predominantly, if not always, Idaho potatoes. The highest calorie count for a fry you can get. That's right. Like for an order. That's right. Yeah. Oh, shit. But I'm homegrown and I have homegrown values. And so my entire life, potatoes, they're always on. They're going to be on my dish. And if they're on the menu, I'm getting them. I have to try them in every. You have to. And by the way, when you fucking add rosemary to a potato, you're my best friend. I love you. Yeah. You're the best. I just think like I've never met one I didn't love. They're hearty. It's a great starch. It's a great carb. You haven't even talked about baked potatoes. They can be good for you. They can be bad for you. They can be really bad for you. And that's what's so cool about them too. That's range. And it's duality. So you want to talk about baked potato. Have you ever had a little baked potato with the, you squeeze it open, you go. And then you put butter in it and then you melt cheddar cheese on top. Yeah. You maybe do a little bit of salt and pepper. That's one of my favorite baked potato little things. I don't like to, when people start doing all the sour cream and all that, I'm like, okay, definitely like do your thing. That's not my personal preference. I'm not going to tell you what the British are doing to jacket potatoes. That's what they call them. They're, they're putting beans on those. They're putting tuna on them. They're putting tuna and beans. And actually. Kind of good. Fucking. Yeah, I haven't had one in a while. That's like, to me, across the board, I love all those things. Feel free to put them in a potato. I love everything I've had in a potato. I like sour cream to me. I'm just like, I never have it. So, but if you, if you put it in front of me, I'm going to eat it. When someone takes out a ladle, someone, it could be anyone, takes out a ladle and puts chili on a potato. How cool is that? That's really cool. I mean, come on. I mean, come on. That's what I'd make for you if you came over to my place. If you were trying to wine and diet. Oh, hey, what's up? I've been making chili. That's what I'm going to say to you one day. And you actually will know in that moment, an alien has come and taken me. It's not, you're not talking to me. No, it's body snatchers. You're not talking to your doodlebug anymore. That's an alien. That's not doodlebug. You're not doodlebug. Say something only doodlebug would know. So get in here. So, I mean, I could, hello, potato right here. Oh, I didn't even talk about potato chips or crisps. My favorite, by the way, is kettle. They have them in London. They're kettle balsamic. Balsamic vinegar chips. Yeah. They're so good. I just like. There's just too, there's honestly too much to say. There's too much to say. Imagine living through a potato famine and how hard that would be. Because the Irish lived it. I know. That's what's like, I can't imagine. And I'm like, I of course would never say that I could. And they've been through a lot of other bad stuff too. I agree. And you know who I think should get a famine right now? Ed Sheeran. Ed Sheeran. The Irish don't claim you. As someone that's 40% Irish, we don't claim you. We don't. I'm 25% Irish. Nah, he's not mine. I don't even know if he's Irish. He could be British for all I know. He might as well be one of them Weasleys. Potatoes are family to me. My mom loves to cook different potatoes in so many different types of ways. So my mom got a mandolin at a certain point in my childhood where you can like, you can slice the potatoes so fine that you can actually make chips. So she was just doing some shit like that. And my drag name would be Amanda Lynn because it's like Amanda, first name Amanda, last name Lynn. Also a mandolin, the guitar and then the one that you shred. You came home and your mom went, check the oven and you went, what? And you pulled it down and you saw fresh crisps. And it was, yeah, it was, she goes, you like that smell, sweetheart. I love you. So it's just hard to even talk about potatoes when I guess. The last thing I want to say on potatoes for now because I'll never put a period at the end is Marilyn Monroe and the potato sack is one of my favorite images of all time. I'm trying to find the right one to put in my apartment, but I just love it because the concept of like she could wear a potato sack and look fabulous. And of course she did. But there's just something about I feel a sense of pride because I'll say I'm from Idaho and people are always like, yeah, potatoes. And I'm like, yeah. And what's your little hometown producing other than a little judgmental twat? Fracking probably. Yeah. I'm like, other than coming for Benny drama. Fracking, cool. Coming for doodlebug. What? You're like Mormon there or something? Literally. You saw? Exactly. Well, there's a lot of Mormons in Idaho too, but I'm probably making potatoes, but still. But yeah, all I got to say is crack open a good potato today and enjoy it on us. Hey, crack on. Oh, God, you know what's incredible? There's one thing in Idaho that I love. Westside Drive-In. It's like, it's fabulous. It's the best place ever. In Boise. They have a ice cream potato and it's a, like a shaped in the, that real delicious log of a tater. Shaped in a tater. It's vanilla ice cream with cocoa powder over it. So it looks like a potato with cream on top. So it looks like sour cream and then black sprinkles to look like pepper. You know what that makes me think of? Disney's The Kid, which introduced an entire generation to dipping your French fries in a milkshake, which is so fucking powerful. I never heard of it before. Also, you give Wendy's to me. Thanks, hon. But remember in Disney's The Kid when he wipes his eyes too hard and then he has like an eye twitch for the rest of his life? Yeah. Has that like really stuck with anyone else? And you're just like way more careful when you rub your eyes. Because to me, that was like, that's one of those things that like, I just like, it never left me. Quicksand never left me. So, but yeah, I know what you mean. That was really mainstream though. I guess you're not a, you weren't a cinephile from a young age. No, I was definitely more out and playing in the fields and listening. Yeah. I was enjoying my life. I wasn't really glued to the boob tube. Kidding. I watched like Hunchback of Notre Dame 12 times. A day. And I learned what sexuality was. And like the problems with Catholicism. And acceptance, I would say. Maybe acceptance. But in the end, she's kind of like, no, I'm like definitely going to fuck like the hot soldier guy. I don't remember the ending. But have fun quasi. She's kind of like, oh, what the fuck? You thought I loved you? Don't be crazy. That's like atonement where I just, I stop it where I think it should end. Just the library scene. And then before they get. I caught it. Well, yeah. Yeah. So you're about like 15 minutes in. That's fine. It's a short film. Yeah, of course. Well, it's a short. I want to talk about cow print. Hey. And I mean, what a perfect. This is our big Western episode, by the way. Boy Story 5, Woody, by the way, on the water bottle. My first cow print. Everyone remembers their first cow print. He knew who he was at a young age. My first cow print full. Those. I knew that I loved putting on stirrups in that moment as a kid. I went, well, this feels like it's for me. I remember my first cow print, which was from Gap. They had velvet cow print leggings for kids. And those were my prized possession. My best friend at the time. And I had a matching matching pairs. I don't know what it is about cows that women are so endeared by. Maybe it's because the cows are like mothers or something. But like, even though cow is like, I guess, an insult or whatever. Like to me, like cow print just transcends any negative associations. And I have a cow print bag right now that kind of looks like a pen. And I just love swinging that thing around. And I, we have cow print Uggs on the way. Oh my God. Thank you. Ugg Australia. Straight to camera. Thank you. Ugg Australia. I can't fucking wait. Hey, Ugg Australia. Thanks for reaching out. Getting an email from our manager. She just, Mac, we love you so much. She, all I see in my email, new email, cow print question mark. And I went, oh, well, might as well be a bullseye. Yes. There's something so familiar and comforting. And I think it's just, I don't know. I think if you put, yeah, if you put cow print on something, like I'm just in, you know? So I think it, to me, I don't know. It's sort of like women's relationship with the song Vienna by Billy Joel. Like it's celebratory. It's womanhood, but it's also hard. And like cows work so hard. I don't know. They provide so much for us. Yeah, I know. I get everything you're saying. I get that. It's like, it feels like a very, like a feminine, there's a femininity to a cow print. The thing that I love about cow print is that actually it doesn't make sense. Based on the associations we have as a culture to cows. Yeah. Like the fact that women want to wear it, it doesn't really make sense. And I love that. Well, to me, I'm like, it feels like, yeah, mother's milk and producing something beautiful and nurturing and delicious. And also like just aesthetically a gorgeous print. Gorgeous print. Like if I'm looking at that print, that's one of the top ones. It's like, it keeps you guessing. It's not always the same. It's not. And it's sometimes it's black and sometimes it's brown. That's what's so cool about it. Yeah. I mean, I kind of want to get into it more, I think I'd love it. You know what I'd love? I love like a little, I open the coat and you see it. Well, it's like that belt you have, the cheetah print belt. Oh, isn't that cool? I forgot about that belt. I'd love if that was in cowhide, not actual cowhide. Well, imitation cowhide. Imitation cowhide. Because they don't, I don't, I mean, not that I've seen. Is it bad to wear cow print with like with the animal stuff? Well, you're not wearing, as long as it's not real. Like if it's a reproduction. It's just like a print. This is a tricky thing to me because I'm like, is that glorifying that? Or is it just like celebrating how beautiful that is? I want to celebrate the animal. That's wearable art to me. As long as you're not killing that cow, I think celebrating how beautiful it is feels, to me personally, I'm not, it was like when Schiaparelli did the lion head dress. Yeah. And then it was like, there was a lot of pushback on that. And I understand where that's coming from. But I'm also like, isn't that incredible that you could make that? You don't have to slaughter an innocent animal who's beautiful to put it on. Instead, it feels like, but then is it like, you're wearing the animal still? So it's, these are all questions for Cruella. For Cruella. I'm sure someone knows. Next thing I need, I think for my wardrobe is a cow print cowboy boot. I would love that. But I'll start with the Ugg boot. You got it, princess. That's really all I wanted to say. I'd be such a good boyfriend to a woman. I know. I could treat you so good. Brush your hair. Tuck me in. Watch Looney Tunes with you. All the shit girls love. All that shit girls love. I love rubbing feet. I love rubbing feet. I love rubbing feet. I love rubbing feet lately. Okay. This is news to me. Clip this. Hey, dear media. Clip that. That's good to know as you're about to leave for a month. Sorry. Give me them toesies. It's not a foot fetish. Like, I'm not, those aren't going anywhere near my mouth. Well, of course. But it is, I just am, lately I'm like, if I love you, give me those, give me those toesies. Yeah. Because I can't scratch, but I want to provide a nurturing comfort. Well, yeah. I haven't been, I haven't been nurtured like that in a while. Anyway. What do you think you're here for? Well, I don't see a couch in here. Not yet. We can get one. Let's get in a ride or die. I'd love a cowhide couch. Again, when I say cowhide, cow print. Maybe I'm going to say cow print. I keep saying cowhide. Sorry, it's the Idaho in me. But I feel like, yeah, that's what I want. Cow print. Cow print. Ride or die. Let's go. Cow print. A cow print tie. I think Bottega did that. A cow print little hat situation. Okay. Cool. I want a cow print cowboy hat that has the New York Yankees logo on it. I know that I could find. I can find that in five minutes. Less, actually. And I want it to cost $300. Wait. Easier. Yeah. Done. Easier. Okay. Yeah. Cool. I ride for cow print. I love cows. There used to be this kind of weird arcade in Boise. I forget what it was called, but they had like a milk, like an udders thing. And so, so if you want to watch me do that again. And I do. Yeah. So it'd be at the arcade and it's like, how much can you milk this cow? And so I have a lot of beautiful nostalgia. And it's like this. For cows. I also just love cows. I love petting cows. Have you ever milked a cow? No. I think actually I have maybe in Vermont once. Oh, I want you to do it in Aliyah. With your hood on. With that dress with the hood on. And a cow print cowboy boot. Yeah. Done. And you introduce yourself as Maiden to everyone. Well, I'm Maiden. And this is my husband Doodlebug. Should I call you Maiden? Yeah. Oh, that's Maiden. Maiden. Wait, that's your pop star name. That's crazy. My pop star name is Maiden. My drag name is Amanda Lynn. Go on. Um, I also watched Mother Mary with a mother and we were both trying to kind of find our way around it. The movie. Yeah. Yeah. That's all I'm going to say. It was just interesting. I just think, as I said before, I just take things in. I don't need to be a critic of everything. Like I'm enjoying art and it's cool to see all your guys' takes on it. I'm having a good time. Me too. But to me, cow print feels like Idaho. It feels like something my mom would love on like a J. Crew loafer, which is really cute. Well, I love that it can be highbrow and it can be lowbrow. It's like you can be, you can dress as a cow for Halloween in the like, you know, one piece from Party City or you can buy like, yeah, like a Gucci loafer. Yeah. Or something. Full of cow. Full of cow. Well, imitation cow. Imitation cow. Yeah. It's just gorgeous. And I think nature provides so many beautiful prints for us to look at. Thank you, animals. You're the best. And I, on that note, as far as nature providing, I love that potatoes are casual, casualty free and cruelty free. Exactly. We don't have to worry about how they're raised or if they're kept in battery, whatever. What are they called? The KFC chickens. And the battery hens. Yeah. They can just grow from the earth. I hope. Hey, never stop. Never stop growing. Never stop evolving. Yeah. We love you. We love you, potatoes. They didn't even have potatoes in Interstellar. That's when I knew like things were dire on earth. It's the last okra, honey. I promise if there's not potatoes on earth, I'm not here anymore. I'm going elsewhere. I'll find them somewhere else. I'm going. Whoosh. I'm to the fricking moon, dude. Would you grow potatoes with me on the moon? Of course. I love the thought of my daughter. I'm never going to have one. Murph. But she's, Murph, she's 140 waiting for me to get back. And she goes, I know your wife's on that, that planet waiting for you to come home. You know, her final monologue. I sob every time. It's really good. All right. Little potato. Yeah. Well, you just lost. Thank you. If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for your son. Let's get the outro. I did not promise, but it ain't one. Say it with me. Hit me. Oh, my accent. Benny, babe. Eyes on the road. Benny, look out! Ride. Ride, ride, ride, ride, ride, ride, ride, ride, ride.