Couples Therapy with Edward Bluemel

The following podcast is a deer media production. I'm Benito Skinner. I'm Mary Beth Brown. And this is right, right. If you're together or not or not, I'm here to say the would not. Are we rolling Jimmy? Are we rolling? Welcome to the couples therapy. I'm Benito Skinner. This is Orna. This is Orna. Orna is the couples therapist on couples therapy. I'm Orna. I wonder which cameras focused on me, Jimmy. This is all focused on you. It's weird because there's three of us here, but all the cameras are pointed out of any. Yes, they should be. Jimmy knows me. Well, Jimmy loves to see me from every side. He sees you. What did Jimmy say just now that broke my heart? The million pieces? I don't know. I said a British man. I'm sorry. And he said another one. I'm the other one. Broke my heart, Jimmy. That sort of insinuated it was something negative. It was actually something really nice. Having a broken heart can be gorgeous. Do you understand? Speaking of which, we have a very special guest today. I cannot believe you. You should be. What if you didn't say a word this whole time? I'm just literally carried that on my back girl. Okay, no. And I do want to clear the air on this. I could not get a word in edgewise. Everything I said on that episode I had to say twice because these two motor mouths were yapping. And I was just like, I'm going to let them handle it. It was double dutch. It was double dutch. I'm just going to sit. I'm going to sit and just let you guys go. You have fun. I'm happy to be here. You know how much I love you. I love you too. Etudee Obama. Why are you guys date then? Well, well, we didn't have a chance because someone was taking up all my times. Oh, you had plenty of time. We've kind of done everything, though. Like we've showered together. We've slept in the same bed. We've like gone toward another direction. I have farted on that word multiple times. Let's be real. I'm a few angles. We did tour with you. Right live. You were there. I was there. I was there. I was on chair. I am. Can I just say? It was fabulous. I was there for eye candy. I don't know. We bonded a lot. We went to a lot of pictures of us. You got to use a lot of errors that maybe Mary Beth was completely sick of. And I'm one of your best, best audience. I love everything. I love everything you do. It's so Edward is my favorite. I just got really warm because it's like Eddie's here. And he just makes me be out of it. Being locked in the hotel room with you while you're just trying out new errors. And close. Like I love dressing Edward. I love shopping with Jed word is what I call him. I think Ted or Eddie Obama. Eddie Obama. Do I have shit on my face? No, no, no. This is for me. Do your skyfall bit. So we can do this. So I can get this jacket. And then you were carrying like a tote bag. It's to my left. I can't wait to run it through it. And I said, whoa, Daniel Craig arriving at now. Now the joke is Saltburn. Yeah. Yeah. Daniel Craig arriving at Saltburn. Daniel Craig seems to me. He didn't pull up to Saltburn and say, who the fuck is that new guy? He said he didn't make a comeback. No, he said, I do just play off. That's brutal. Do you understand that we got a new one coming? And I cannot wait Benoit is back. Well, you know, they think what is his name is Benoit Blanc. Sweetie, that's my full name. Yeah. Benoit. You know what his name is Benito Blanc. But it's Benoit is an anagram for Benito. Oh, that's so true. It's like Tom Riddle, turf Hogwarts. It's Tom Riddle. I am. Oh my God. All that. I it's so crazy. I know all the like Hogwarts. Someone the other night was like, what's that? What's the newspaper in Harry Potter call? And I said the quibbler. And I'm like, Oh, Virgin. Never had sex the day. I would love to see Benoit Blanc arriving at Saltburn. And it's just an hour. It's a two-hander, 90 minutes of Barry Keon's character and Benoit just trying to solve who did it. But like Benoit knows the whole time that Barry Keon killed all those fucking people. Well, of course, it's very frosty Nixon. You know what I mean? I have not seen that. Oh, but it's that. A married story. And it's very much Benoit Blanc and Barry Keogan. It's as tough as Casey. Yeah. There's only one suspect. And he did it. It's been a year couple more. But okay, so you're so you're so bond showing up because that jacket is so sexy on you. And it's gone up to the top. And I've insisted on doing it up to the top. I want you to shoot on my channel. I'm doing it like crazy. I'm doing it. It's like it's me from inside out. Well, sweetie, you know this city gave me COVID. Benoit's COVID narrative. I'm actually not responding to it anymore because it's a bunch of crap. It's a bunch of hidey. I know exactly how I feel when I have COVID. Well, yesterday, yesterday you told me you had COVID for one calendar day. Yeah. Yeah. And you were like, it was one. So you were going bullshit, huh? Well, when we got to that, this was a great line that we had a meeting with GQ Adam at GQ and Aiman who were absolutely right or British. You like right to Valhalla. And they were like, you know, you're opening speech. They said it's both meaner than we thought. And funnier than we ever thought it could be. And they said, we love how much I shouldn't say it actually. It's kind of bad. They really for the backhanded. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, because it was just like beyond anyone's wildest dreams. Americans will see the positives. Yeah, of course. I wasn't offended at all. Sometimes though, the only thing that offense me sometimes like is when someone's like, I watched your show and it like it was good. But that's that's the reason that I know it was actually good. I'm used to it by now. I take it and start thinking. Well, I didn't want to show it and it was good. What do you think during it? Were you like, that's so crazy that like I've seen Hall on both of them? Yeah, yeah, that was all I was thinking. Yeah, all the episodes you're just thinking about Hall. I watched some of it get filmed. We were like, we were minutes away from breaking up and I did a set visit. And just like, our last, our last to rock. I lost a rock. I almost lady birded out of the car on the way back from Mescoka. Oh, yeah. I remember it like it was yesterday. We had to formally announce it. We formally announced that like, I think you said that to me on the way back from a cabin trip while we were listening to Sabrina Carpenter. Yeah. So every time I hear that album, I think devil spades. Well, it was a huge, it was a huge time for that. It was it was short and sweet era. Yeah, that was tough. That was a tough weekend trip. I had so many good photos of me and Edward too that I couldn't really post because I've been really good ones of us on that pier. But I want to meet it. It kind of has like, it's like, bushes almost there. But then like a very little body. I've got tons of pictures of your body on my phone. Thank you, sweetie. And same. Yeah. Same. I'm new to you. I think of my lady, Jane's Edward, Edward. No, no. Is it bluemail or bluemail? You can say. I say the male, but yeah, I'm happy with that. I say bluemail. Bluemail. Well, it doesn't matter. Does it? Yeah. I just always got to add some flourish. So I had this bit last night when they were talking in the room, eating dinner. And I just, it was like the most fun I've ever had in my life because I kept ordering so much room. Benny, keep in mind. I've got a photo of you with, with like, truly like six straights. It was lonely. Okay. Benny's been mad at me since I got upgraded to a suite at our hotel. And the way he's enacting this is revenge by putting thousands of dollars of room service on my room. So he ordered swell drinks yesterday for breakfast. One of which was the way was a carrot juice. I'm sorry. I didn't know carrot juice was a thing. Yeah. Well, it is for good. Like milk, a carrot. No, it is for you guys. You can milk a carrot, baby. Maybe. You can't milk a carrot. What have I been doing all week? Here's the thing. You can milk a fucking carrot. And the best part about carrot juice. Sorry. The lamb sip is hitting. So I'm feeling incredible is it makes you tanner. Carriages. Yeah. My dad will have been doing this. My dad on this act in shit was juicing carrots like everything's so into juicing. He was having so many carrots. It would be like the middle of December. And I'm like, you're kind of giving like beach. It means you lawn holiday. You lawn the holiday. In the interior scenes. Yeah. Oh yeah. When he kisses on the eyelids. Don't talk about that. Would you have laughed at Mr. Napkin head as a kid? Because I wouldn't know. I don't know if we were debating if that bit would go down really. I don't want him up and going. Yeah. I go. That is not all you got. Cameron Diaz goes, that's not funny. So I didn't like that. And I'm not going to be a mother to y'all. Y'all heard of the egg. Yeah. I think I was more of a punchline kid. I wanted a punchline. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. Less bit. Yeah. I totally miss physical bits. Mr. Napkin had not for me. Love this sweater too. Oh, thank you. Swimmins, right? I feel like I was really there when you came into your style. Shopping is actually what broke us up. I just want to say that. No. No way. Okay, hold on. I guess let's talk about the little jacket thing. When I showed him grails. Don't talk about it. When you showed me grailed, you opened the door. Honey, I've never been on a closet. Open the door. No. Because you blame me. You blame me for being into clothes. You introduced me to Amy. Leon Dore. I don't think it is. Which is a hate crime to introduce a boy to that. Yeah. I'm over it now. I'm over it now. Oh, you guys love that they parked a portion there. How did they get it? How did they get the portion? I got to see the Porsche at the Amy Leon Dore store. The gym I go to in New York is right by it. And the smoothie place I go to after the gym. So again, these are these stories and it's sort of electric. I have a podcast. Yeah. It's why I'm a writer. Yeah. And the line is like at 9 a.m. is insane of people just taking photos and they're like taking photos through the window of the portion. When the portion was in there, yeah, well now they have a vote. It's a crazy. It's a great shopping definitely came between us. It was sort of the third person in our relationship. I don't think it was really me. It wasn't me specific. That makes the sound like I was like a shopper. I buy it while I wasn't buying. It wasn't actually buying. It was shopping. We know shopping. See, that's the thing you guys. You guys are results based. You always have been. It's like you want something you buy it. Yeah. How long were you looking for leather jacket? The leather jacket was like, it's great to be able to be able to like formally apologize publicly for that. The leather jacket was really traumatizing. Have we worn it that much? It looks dog shit. Yeah. It looks bad. I wore it to an event. I got a photograph and I looked like like a pervert. All that time. And I showed up and I saw the pictures and I went, all that out of a base, the man hours of finding that jacket and then you finally ordered it and you didn't like it. And it was too small, but I was too proud to send it back because I was too small. I dragged my bag. I went to war through hell jacket. God, you know what's so sad? The one that I found that I really liked, I had to send it back because it was, well, I wore it when I went to so Edward, I've done all parts since I've last seen you. I was at Harvard Business School speaking to the students there. And Polo sent me this jacket and I had to give it back. It was on loan. And it was the one leather jacket that I was kind of like, I think I'm kind of eating down in this. It was by it, right? Yeah. Hey, and do you know what's great? Is there been he liked it? He would just buy it. Exactly. I would. And it wouldn't take so long about it for thousand years. It's all because did I go, I went shopping with you court and Adam and Rich. I think so. Yeah. There was like one nice shop in Toronto that had a few, it had, you know, some pretty nice stuff. It was great. It is amazing though. When I'm in there and I tell someone to buy something, they will. I'm kind of like the, if you tell me to just throw weapons in that way. Yeah, I'm kind of like I break the twig. I break the twig and the guys buy the shirt. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I've read the book. I appreciate the thoughtfulness, but it's shocking to me. I'm like, there's just so much more to do today. Like I haven't had a boba tea. No, I know. Also, it's like we could be gunned down at any moment. So maybe not in Toronto, but Toronto. Yeah, but by by the dress. Please. Also, I'm just like, come on. Dude, just I'm sorry. No, you're actually not that bad. I've pulled some things, but it did. It came between us. That's what he's about. And today we're going to sort it out. Yeah, we're going to talk. We're going to leave it all here. We're not going to leave this room. It's right. It's library. Yeah. Exactly. Don't tease me like that. I'm sorry. It's a funny traumatized. It's just a fun joke. It's a moscoka, right? Yeah. That's crazy that today. It's landing because I forgot the name of it every other day in my life. I thought when we're in that cabin, I just thought Mary Beth was just like a bit sad about like just like life in general. And it took so long for the penny to drop. That's not true. No, that's not true. We had been having very difficult conversations. I was like, you're not like the cabin. No, I'm like trampoline with Wally eating like s'mores ice cream. Like I am completely a kid. We were like, we were sorting it. We were going through it. That was not a cabin. It was a mansion. I'm so sick of the revisionist history because Wally said we wouldn't be having two things can be true. Wally said we weren't camping. It was the biggest house I've ever been. And then I were calling it a cabin. It was a mansion. It had 12 bedrooms. A cabin can't be a mansion. I don't think a cabin can be a mansion. Barone's fact checking on that. What about it? It was like a Lincoln log mansion. Lincoln log mansion. Thank you. And to come at me like this. No, I was coming at him. It was coming at him. You were coming at him. You were coming at me. No, I wasn't. Sometimes that's happened in the past year. Yeah. It looked like when people make like my Instagram algorithm was hits me with like chill houses that are made from AI. Yeah. And it looked like one of them. Yeah. Like it was kind of like a cabin that was like imagine living here. And it's like clearly AI. But that was the real one. Sweetie. It was impressive. I loved the outside. Huge house made of wood. But also it wasn't fantastic. So like I was on pinky watch the whole weekend which was very stressful. And then of course, yeah, we, but we ended up extending your trip. It wasn't like all doom and gloom, but we knew that when you left, we were going to be broken up. That's why we send the trip. We said three more days. Yeah. And the grand scheme. Three more days in the grand scheme. And how that felt for me. It's absolutely. A production. I lose a daddy. I lose a brother. But actually didn't because today is also I'm secretly writing for the importance of being earnest. I want to want to say not the play. It's a book, isn't it? It's everything. It's everything. Eddie, I never stop loving you. Stop loving you. It's my boy. We've met time at time. It's been really sweet. I always knew when it was appropriate. Yeah. Sometimes we would just, I would just be like, as a treat. I think I can message him about this on. Yeah. And during the show and, uh, it was very so calls me on my birthday. Really? But two hours. No. With this year. We just chat. We just, and we just, but we'll chat it out. Right after you broke up. I remember, yeah, on my birthday, I got a text. My stomach's speaking noise. If the mic's picking that up, I'm sorry. Put the mic to you this time. I'm drinking a little ultrasound. Yeah. I have something big to announce. I felt it. Kade. No, if I have kids, I have to do it alone because I'll be such a nasty bitch to my partner. I'm just like, no, we don't do it like that. You're not doing it right. Just, just let me do it. Like, can you just picture me saying that? So you miss it? Whatever. I taught you a lot. I do love how much girls boss around their boyfriends. It's not that I don't think the boyfriends deserve it. No, we're paying a hefty cost for that. It's unbelievable because then a gay relationship would be like, I'm not doing that. Right. I just think that I like being bossy. I think straight men don't like it. So then it's like you're fighting about being bossy, but like, I'm still going to tell you what to do and how to do it. Yeah. I've watched women be like, go get me a bacon egg and cheese right now. And the guy's like, hell yeah, if he's good. This was a huge problem in our relationship. It was I talked about a lot. I did talk about it. His friends picked up. Could I bring up? His friends picked up on the fact that I would be like, can you get me a water? And they're like, she's too controlling. One of them was a girl, too, who said that. Because one time I watch out for that girl. She wants to enter those nickers. Watch the mic. Well, Pinkie's getting a little feisty because she knew that it was time for the third love ad. And she's your bronzer pinkie. The chime in. Well, you know, she's bronny, trustee. Wait, she's giving me. Third love makes better bras period. Founded by women who are sick of settling for bras that were good enough and huge fans of workaholics. Third love has 10 plus years of experience redefining what a comfortable bra looks and feels like. Get extra lift, smooth back spillage. Oh my god, the bra's coming off. Oops. Very dutty. Every time she takes off her bra, oops. Oops. You get extra lift, smooth out back spillage and more. And it's designed with the highest quality materials, including innovative thermoregulation. That sounds delicious. Available in 60 plus sizes to fit double A like me or age like dead. I want to put one of these on. They invent in half cup sizes for those two are between sizes, ultimately. And third love does it all. These bras are just so comfortable. As Benny always says, I got one less problem without you. Stop settling for average bras. Piss me off. Fit solutions made for your body, okay? Get $15 off your purchase at thirdlove.com with code podcast 15. That's $15 off your purchase at thirdlove.com code podcast 15. Yep, it's not just for our podcast. It's kind of all of them. It's for every podcast, even if they're not doing ads for third love. So go to thirdlove.com and don't forget to use our code podcast 15. Thank you, third love. Benny is coughing all over my apartment. Just in time for me to tell you that this podcast, it's sponsored by Squarespace. I mean, it'll be a surprise to know one that Squarespace isn't the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience, and sell anything from products content to time. All-in-one placed on your terms. The thing is, like right now, if you go to my website, you can see I'm using a social plugin for my tour. There are only a few shows with tickets left, so I guess if you don't get them now, like that's on you. Your dog is a billy goat. The way she climbs me. Here's the thing. Squarespace Payments is the easiest way to manage your payments in one place with Squarespace. Pinkies literally fucking might your lobe. Onboarding is fast and simple. Get started in just a few clicks. It starts receiving payments right away. Plus, give your customers more ways to pay with popular payment methods. I think that's fair enough. You get the idea. ACHtrec.W.S. Apple Payments is okay, fine. Also, SEO tools get discovered fast with integrated SEO tools. Every Squarespace website is optimized to be indexed with the magic description and auto-generated site map and more. So, I guess what we're saying is that if you don't have a Squarespace by now, I mean, have you been living under a fucking rock? It's just insane. It's just like such an easy thing. Even if you don't have a brand and nothing to sell, just get us get a website. Get a website and tell people about it. Like, you y'all see my site yet. So, have you been on my website? What's on there? It's like a couple good bricks of me. Hey, maybe you should do an email form and see if anyone wants to date you. I don't know. Wait, Squarespace. Can you make me one? And it's just a couple good photos of me, and that's it. When people go. Go to Squarespace. I own the domain. Yeah, I own the domain. For a free trial, and when you're ready to love Squarespace. Squarespace.com/ry to save 10% off of you. Oh, a website or domain. Okay. Articles, articles, articles, articles. Darticle. People really love that. Guess what I'm looking at right now. I'm looking at my culture. Because I've been used in a while. I don't mind. I've got my freaking big old ass on it. Everyone that has sat in that culture has commented on the fact that it's very high quality, very substantial and it does not feel like it's going to break. Article offers a curated range of mid-century modern coastal and Scandinian scaldises that not only shine in their own, but also pierce seamlessly with nearly any other article product. This thoughtful design approach makes it incredibly easy to mix and match, helping you create a space that feels cohesive and stylish. So Article takes great care in curating its collection, focusing solely on high quality meaningful pieces that will stand the test of time. There's no filler. Every item is chosen for its craftsmanship designed in less than value it is due to it. The meticulous packaging, the weight and feel of the product, the fact that it comes mostly assembled. These are all things that stick out to me about my article products. Not only that, but Article offers vast affordable shipping across the US and Canada, with options for a professional assembly if you prefer a hands-off experience. With Article's 30-day satisfaction guarantee, you can shop with confidence, knowing that if you're not completely in love with your new furniture, you can easily return it. This piece of mind ensures you can invest in your home without hesitation. If you're in the market for a beautiful new sofa, dining table or bed, head over to Article.com. I love you Marybeth. So, one time on New Year's Day, we were all extremely hungover. Yes. Yes, we had had a crazy night the night before we had a party there at the house. And I was anxious. We were all anxious. We were all going to come down. Edward was literally, would not put his phone down to the point where I was like, I would sometimes grab it and put it face down. We were anxious and I was on a calm down. You should have been looking at me. Yeah. Stop drawing and look at your girlfriend. And then a girl the next day was like, I think she's like, she's like too controlling. To find out who this woman is, she sounds like an actress. We can. Not an actress. I'll tell you later. I'll tell you later. But what people don't know is that me and Edward tell, we tell each other everything still to this day. Still to this day. Well, I'll feed back me the other night to Edward at G.C. Man of the year. I go, I still pull a one is his set using. I was controlling in our relationship, not looking back now. Yeah. I've been tricked into something so crazy. Yeah. I've been tricked. No, this is fine. I've been. This is fun. This is like dead theater. No. What were you saying yesterday? Oh, I never got to say my bit. Yeah. It was me with all the room service. I had a huge hash brown on a fork with ketchup because I found it next to your bedside because that's my girl. I knew that I literally knew she'd have ketchup on her bedside table. It was the most insane thing I've ever experienced. You went into the frit with no hesitation, no, no weirdness. You were just like, I need ketchup with this and went to the bedside table. I go, there's no cats up. Give me two seconds. And then I walked into the bedroom. It was next to her bed by her phone and I went, I know this woman in a way that's clinical. It's disgusting. I dip the hash brown in the ketchup and I said, I don't need what's ever going to be on the telly. I got the BBC. It's here. It was you guys talking. It was a pretty good phone. We were all getting about something maybe. No, no, no. It's like, we were just having fun. We were having each other lately. It was so fun. But that's nice. You guys don't. Your arguments are very chill and relaxed. Well, now. Well, we realized that we were the worst couple in the world. We wanted to come on the pod and say, like, come out as the worst couple of the time. I don't think that's true because I don't know. - We never got a front row seat to Epstein and Galein's vibe. They had to have been worse. - That's true, okay. - But do I think she wrote for him? - Oh, I think they got a lot of well, though. They just did a lot of damage. - They were twin flames. I mean, they were, and they were lucky to find each other. - I was lucky to find each other. - It's so funny you say that because sometimes when people say, like, match your freak, I think of them. 'Cause I think there was a meme a long time ago with them. - No, the meme. - I don't know if it's always fun. - You know the meme are genuinely in their bags. - Yeah, there's the biggest, biggest. - Yes. - Oh my God, it's sick. - No, I'm saying the rest of the world was unlucky because they met, but the two of them together. I mean, pitching that to someone, and they were just going, what? No, they found each other. - Okay, so I guess we've come to the conclusion that you guys are a worse couple than Epstein and Galein. - Well, we are the number one worst couple of times. - I don't agree with that. I've seen much worse, but if you guys want to believe it for your own, it's the worst sort of life. - I think someone's going to do it, and we'll take that. - It was behind closed doors, it was where that stuff was happening. - We sucked ass. - We thought so much. - We thought so much fun with you on tour. - When it was good, it was good, and when it was bad, it was so bad. - Yeah, it was crazy. - When you're diners with you, going to movies. - Permanent damage to my nervous system. That's what I was saying. - I was just saying, oh, we're going to keep that in. - Yeah. - Did I give you permanent damage to your nose? - No, you didn't. You didn't give you. - You didn't, our relationship did. Our relationship did permanent damage to my nervous system. - That was both of us. - That's what people don't realize. - You mean they both have to shit so bad. - Yeah, you can't. - I'm going to the corner by the guitar. - I'll go in the studio with the guitar. - I did back-to-back long distance, nearly killed me. - Yeah, that was wild for me to go from it. - But I told the person, I won't do long distance again, and so then, he was like, okay, I'll move to New York. - Something I never even, something I never heard of. - But then it was like, oh, well, so that has an end. The long distance has an end date, 'cause we're gonna move in together the life first, and then that didn't happen, obviously. - And how did that turn out? - And that didn't work out so well. - So that was kind of not the one. - So I know who Daddy's gonna get next. (laughing) - That's he's got her eye on somewhere. (laughing) - It's crazy now that we're sort of x-x's, which I think does change something somehow. - Oh, you're saying xx's like a whole different stuff. - If I'm talking about Edward, I'll say Edward, if I'm talking about the guy I did after Edward, I say my x, 'cause we never reveal just identity. But I will always say if it's Edward. So there's no conspiracy theories, and the person that dumped me that I announced on Seth Meyers was not Edward. - Oh yeah, I did get some DMs about that. - But you know what? - We brought him in here, too. - It's just like we didn't know I'm in the conversation. - Of course, you know what we brought you here to clear your name in a lot of ways? - Yeah, and that's nice. - I get that sometimes when people are like, when you were at the overcompensating party, I remember someone was like, "Oh, Edward's here." And I was like, "Yeah, so that's my brother." - That's my guy. - I'm also using it, like, you think I would rock up to that without-- - If you guys were not in the terms. - If we were in a good time, I'm like, "I'm coming." - Here you go. - Yeah. - That's on the show. - It was kind of funny. - It's sad to see you tonight. - It's actually good. - It's really good. - You won Fumble of the Year 2024. - I won Fumble of the Year 2024. - What's it called? Your successor, who we have never named. - It would have never named. - One Fumble of the Year for this year. Early on, too, April. - Yeah, there were a few people who won. - He put it in the show. - I didn't want to, I didn't want to put anyone on a fumble. - Yeah. - He said I'm going for Fumble of the decade. - Currently on your Instagram, I don't know if it's the same person who comments it but someone comments every time. Imagine Fumble and Mary Beth Barone. - 'Cause that was a thing. - And I want to like it every time. - I was a tweet. - I go, I don't have to imagine. - Yeah, you did it. - I love it. - I love it. - I love it. - I love it. - This is my life. - But you've fumbled out of the square. - You've fumbled out of the square. - Look, you're going to Fumble of the Year. - Yeah. - You know, what do you miss most about me? - I do miss being on tour with you. You want to create an era that I feel like don't break my heart, but I feel like it was just for me. - It was just for you. - What was it? - They all are. - There was an era that you hate and still hates. - Oh God, are you going to do it right now? ♪ We'll keep on turning ♪ ♪ I gotta keep that pussy and he's going ♪ ♪ And we rollin' rollin' rollin' rollin' rollin' ♪ - Rollin' on the rear of the car. So I need to come up with a car diddy and it needs to do appeal to a straight man. So I assumed. - I let me tell you. - You work joke would do it. - You hit every button, bang on. It's lived, you know, it's gone through my head a lot of times since. - It's pretty much called me every part of it. - So I miss, I miss the sort of bespoke eras. I miss going around sort of towns in America though and never go to otherwise. - Buying Blazers with the two of you, me of course, buying things, me talking about clothes a lot, but like what was, you would send, you would sort of send me into the world in it some a day because you, I mean, you had jobs. - Right, we were working. We were fully, heavily working. - You were fully, heavily working. - And I was struggling. - You were struggling in Ferry City. - You were a struggling actor. - You were struggling. - You had to turn to the stage. - Yeah. - Things were going so bad. - Yeah, I know. (laughing) - That's my hat, I got hot hair. - Shit! - Sorry, I'm like. - Wait, what are you miss least about dating me? - What do I miss least? - Yeah. - She was just getting through the list of me. - Whoa. (laughing) - What do I miss least about dating you? The distance. - That's a nice thing to say, isn't it? - No, that's a great answer. - I'm not gonna need to. - I'm not gonna, like, you let my boy speak for once. She's just fucking Christ. Take it out on me later. - I will. - I know what. - No, that is what I missed least out of her. It's going out with someone. It's crazy when the person that you love is on the other side of the world for three months. And you're like, what's the point in any of this? - Yeah, it's really hard. - It's really crazy missing us. Missing us, like, I've heard it's a job unlike any other that you, once you don't have it, it's such a thing. - And I just put, I just put in a 12-month shift. - Oh yeah, 'cause we haven't only seen each other. - Yeah, I've seen you more than her. - Yeah, I've seen you, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, that's pretty close to you. - Do you have a common-setting party? - 'Cause you love Stormsy House Party. - At Stormsy House Party. - Baby, love. Funny, I keep asking people, I'm like, yeah, that probably was crazy watching us. And they're like, not at all. - No, it's fine. - I guess it's just-- - My mom goes, I can separate the art from the artist. - You know what, my parents did too. - I told you, my mom's thing. She was like, you with a woman was weirder to me than you with guys. And I'm like, that kills me. - My mom said, really weren't your boobs. They were the characters' boobs. I keep telling people. - See, that's, oh my God. - Yeah. - She goes, many drama meter, dude. - She said that fucking perverted freak. - You know what, yeah, we're all adults. But in season two, you're gonna push the boundaries. Are you gonna shock me? - If you're asking if I'm showing Bush, Edward will see. Yeah, I love it, college is naked. It should be, college is sexy and naked and awkward and sad and it's all in there. Yeah, it is like, I've never tried to force it into scenes, but if it felt like someone was honestly naked, and that was something with Mary Beth that I really love in our conversations about it, because these were a conversation they didn't just make her get naked, but that she would be naked in bed with her boyfriend here. She would not have like a bra on. - Yeah, you're like, so if you respect the character, you'll get your tits out. - Exactly. - You'll do it. - Exactly. - And I said, I'm sorry, I don't need your nudity writer. - Yeah, yeah. - I don't care. - You said there was so many actresses who would do this. - Who would kill for this job? - I could kill many actresses. - Yeah, yeah. - I could do myself. - They'll do it. - They'll do it for free. - Daddy would love. - Daddy would love. - I would love to see Cordenator for some reason. - Daddy is Cordenator. - Yeah. - I can't wait to have her on the side. - Yeah. - That night at the overcompensating party, that was my birthday. And all my best guys were not with me. - I was very sad that you were there. - That was actually fucked up. - I just looked at the posters around the room. It was like she's with us in sort of in spirit, I guess. I was wearing my slutslayer, baby tea. - I know you look so cute. A grown woman and a little baby tea. And then I don't know if you remember my look Edward. - Yeah, you were in like a sort of like, like, Vivy West for torn up shirt and tie combo. - Thank you. It was a non-Sybridish culture, but also, you know, what's interesting, the shirt was confusing to people because they thought I spilled the wine on it. But I just want to make it known here. It was 2013 R-Type. - You just checked the runway image. - Check the runway image. - And the wine was there or it was, it was worn by someone else who spilled wine on it. - No, that was the design. - That was the design. - That was from Vivy. - Clothes. And I've always said this. I don't, you know, I'm talking about clothes, but clothes tell a story. - And I have my ears. - It's my hair. - It's my hair. - Yeah, it's my hair. - It's my hair. - Yeah, okay. Now, come on. It was cute and then we're short. And which was like, you know. - That's different for you. - It was. It was crazy we're short, but they were cute. They were really cute, but they were really cute. We walked in and dare I say crowd went wild. - Don't even start. - Justin Bieber. - It's these brits. I don't know what they do, but it was like, you were helping. - Back from the party, we were all there. We were having fun. A hush descended. It's coming. He's a fry. - And you go, I've seen all of him. - Yeah. And I was getting very stressed out because I was like, I needed everybody to know that like we had something special. - And so I was telling all of the influencers who were invited. - Yeah. - I'm not one of you. - You saw my post. I mean, you were saying. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You were like third slide easy. Maybe two. - Yeah, I was third slide. And that was good because I think one thing that you two have always been nice to us. You have told the Baroneys that. - Because our breakup was very respectful. - But I still see us at GQ, remember I was talking. God, I love just talking about just GQ in general. But I was talking to you. And I didn't see a few people stare at us as if there was some like conversation happening. And instead little did they know I was talking to you and I was like, hello one. - Yeah, yeah. - But you were getting interviewed by Denise Welch and I was so drunk and I just be lying for that. And I don't know why they gave me a microphone. I have no idea what it says. - Just because how could they not? - But I do not see light a day ever. - And we were just taking photos of us there. And he said he got clocks by a few people. - Some people just looked across the party and saw me sort of suspiciously taking photos of my ex girlfriend from like quite a distance. - Yeah. - Well, it's your ex and her new guy. - Yeah. - And Denise Welch. - And Denise Welch. - I love her so much. I knew you were gonna show up. She goes, where's Mary Beth? But it was so cold outside. I was like, well, we'll lose her. - Yeah, I lied blue off the roof. - And we did. - Well, that's how I knew you would join. - I know. - And then they pulled me back on. - We were Wendy, who just flew towards Big Ben. - But then you guys caught me. - Peter. (laughing) - Fuck, I should have showed up as Peter Pan. I did a bit the other day in my room. - A lot. - And it was so funny. I went and Peter Pan with the thing and the thing flew. - Oh, I love that. - crowd went wild. - One time you did that. Where are you talking about the curtains? One time you did that in Seattle and the thing that opened the blind just fully fell off. - Yeah. - I remember. It's like a media I'm backstage. - Mm-hmm. - Here's one, here's one. ♪ Baby me satin, baby town on a bit of roses ♪ ♪ And make sure to put some neutropho next to my body ♪ Oh yeah. - Mutropho, it's the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand trusted by over one and a half million people, including the winter soldier. See thicker, stronger, faster growing hair. With less shedding and just three to six months. - The holidays can get museum overwhelming quickly and thoughtful gifts that encourage slowing down and prioritizing self-care always stand out. With neutropho, give the gift of stronger and faster growing hair. And as you'll get for anyone who deserves a boost of confidence and science back support heading us the new year. You can feel great about what you're putting into your body since neutropho hair growth supplements are backed by peer reviewed studies and NSF contents certified the gold standard and third party certification for supplements. - Neutropho is the perfect gift for anyone on your list who wants to support their overall hair health. - Did you get your gifts? - I want all you guys to grow my hair. - Wait, I want to cut everyone in my life. I'm gonna cut every person around me and get the new gift. - Give the gift of confidence as holiday season with neutropho. Whether you're treating yourself or someone on your list visibly healthier, thicker hair is the gift that keeps them giving. - Right now, neutropho is offering our listeners $10 off your first month subscription plus free shipping when you go to neutropho.com and use promo code ride. That's neutropho.com promo code ride for $10 off. - Well, I guess there's only one more ad left for today and it's gonna be for Ocea. - Ocea. - Ocea. - Ocea. - I have Ocea. - Ocea. - Ocea. (laughing) - Ocea can you see me? - Ocea. - Ocea. - Ocea. - Ocea. - But the dawn's in me. - It's so crazy, guys. We're not drunk, we're not high, we're not anything. This is just exhaustion to a level that you can't imagine. - Wait, it's actually crazy, we're not high at all. - I know, I'm like embarrassed by that. - Ocea's ocean body glow set and your shirt fire hit for everyone on your list. Now, this would be a great stocking stuff, right? I would say this is a gift that's appropriate to say, hey, you're the hardest to please. - Hey, you dry skin bitch. - I've got something for ya. It's Ocea's ocean body glow set. It's a shirt fire hit for everyone on your list, even the hardest to please. Well, they wanna hear it in a different way and I think I would have booked. And it includes three of Ocea's best-selling body care products at an incredible value. Each item is full-size and packed in a box, so beautiful. You can skip the wrapping paper, sweetie. This is gifting made easy. - You wanna grab one for yourself too, but hurry before this luxurious limited edition set sells out. I mean, there's only limited amount, supply chain, all that good stuff. - Of course. - Say $40 on the set at ocea-malboot.com and get an additional 10% off with coat ride. You wanna talk about what's in it? - Yeah, they have the full-size and Daria algae body oil. And when I rub that in an oxidant rich hydration, it softens, nourish, and firms this buttocks. Honey, like the reviews are in and they're stellar. - It's tens across the board. - There's also the body wash, which cleanses and removes impurities. - Hi, I've been using that. - Oh good, you've got a lot of impurities. - Of course the body butter, a next level body butter that delivers up to 72 hours of hydration. Give the gift of glow this holidays with our listener discount on Ocea's clean, clinically tested skin care. Just use the code ride for 10% off your first order site wide at ocea-malboot.com. - That's 10% off your first order with code ride at ocea-malboot.com. - Ocea! - Should we do some of our jokes from GQ? - Yeah, can I have you? - Yeah, can I have you, and then we'll let you ride. - Yeah. - So I wasn't allowed to be at the dinner 'cause I'm-- - You haven't been on TV in a while. - Oh, I'm famous enough, never book. - We'll just do a couple. - Sure. - Should we do our Paddington one? - Oh yeah, that's fun. - Okay. - Give me the greatest hits. - Okay, so I said, in all seriousness, this is a room full of incredibly talented individuals. Benny, if you could give a man of the year to anyone alive or dead, who would it be? - Paddington. - Leave my ex out of this. - You fucked him too? - We were in love. - Heck, Frisley, Pear. Did he take you on the lend and I? I stuffed him on that. - You atop, I've seen everything. - Yeah. - I like that one. - That was a pretty good one. - That's a really good one. - Do you're still in Scar's guard one? - Still in Scar's guard. Thank you for all of your sons that you had. - Yeah. - The a-list acting talent that has come out of you is more than Rada and Lambda combined. - Fabulous. - He loves that. - I don't know if he laughed, but that's okay. - Jack O'Connell is here. The one-white person and sinners. - Yeah, Fabulous perfect. - Dance for me. - Dance for me. - Let's do Summary Trin Pretty. - Yeah, these are, oh my God. - Oh, and one of the boys from the Summary Trin Pretty is here. - Christopher couldn't make it, which sucks because Mary Beth really wanted to sexually harass them together. She kept saying she loves Paris this time of year. - I don't know. - No, they know. - You're the Lily Allen one. - Oh my God. - Yeah. - This one's like, so my God. - This one's pretty good. You guys, I really wanted to bring my puppy tonight. She loves events, but unfortunately, dogs from America aren't allowed in the UK, which is also the reason David Herbert couldn't make it. - Yeah, that's a perfect idea. - And then I say, and then it says here, Benny, to add something about a bug. - Yeah, I should have left. it in. Yeah, that's what it is. Obviously, this has been a difficult year. America slipped further into fascism. Marginalized groups continue to be targeted by the government and Kevin Spacey smiled at me at Heathrow. That's why it's so important to be here focusing on what really matters honoring some of the richest people in the world. You are the real heroes who have made a difference this year. Oh, this way favorite actors, musicians, athletes. Yeah, where are the athletes? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. But unfortunately, the athletes that were there were the lionesses, so they actually like do a lot of good. Yeah. Well, we love the lionesses. We thought it was going to be race car drivers. Yeah, so it was going to be like an F1 guy and I'd be like, just thanks, man. You fucking killed it this year. You rocked it out. Those were the good ones. I think those are the good ones. We had a good time. The David Hall, the one for me, is testament to you and Benny as well, but really, I love that you're still doing jokes when you do stand up. And this is something we've talked about for years. Yeah. Mama's jokes. Sorry. You've got you've got you've got punchlines. There's one more that you have to because it's a perfect joke. What? We're told this is actually the social event of the season. The hardest ticket to get in town, a real whosoo, apparently Prince Andrew was even vying for a seat at this dinner. But then he found out there was no kids table. Perfect. Another perfect. And then she said, she also said they have a no dickhead rule at the event, but looking around the room, it looks like a few of you got it. I thought it was me. I thought I'd be there. And we'll bleep that. But he wasn't. So he could have been there. Exactly. He's all months pinned down at the best of times. I know. So all right, should we get in what you read for? Yeah. Wait, where are we going? Who cares? Ride. It really gives me chills to have my own ride. Well, it's here at no pressure. Speaking of the importance of being honest, is I am going to lower the tone by being a bit earnest. The owners go for it. I'm writing for you to getting the clout that you deserve. Wow. It came in here with an agenda. And I appreciate it. Yeah. Because I'm trying to get over the back. So I was like, let's just be super nice. I stood by you both for five long years. I know honey. I'm watched how hard you work. You watched Queer's Folk. I watched Queer's Folk. You sat in the car with us and took us to Jimmy John's. I watched you do one of the craziest live shows ever where you got married. That's our show. The show you've ever done. And I said horrific. But you didn't get the ick. It was a show where there had been no rehearsal from anyone involved in the venue. Started the show without telling us. And I guess I guess I'm in the audience. It was in the audience, but above all else, the venue smelled like cum. It was kind of scary. You have a one. Thank you. Someone came back stage. You go, you have a one here. With the absolute limbs to water. And you, but they came back and he said we started the show. I go, oh, okay. Yeah, definitely let us know. But cool. Anyway, that was another thing that I sat through. And so many things that it's so nice to see since we broke up actually, which I find it hard to not correlate in a way. The explosion is glow up. Yeah, it's hard to me. And of course, and of course, overcompensating everyone loving it was the best. But I also was there for so long while you were pitching it. I know how long it went. I remember we were in Boston. I was with you guys. You were doing so when like, maybe you found out that it was getting made that day. You were there. I was there. He was at Boston. Oh, fuck set. No, it's okay. I was at the dive bar. Oh my god. Oh, wait. I was at Boston or I thought maybe you were in New York right after. No, I wasn't. I was watching. I was in Boston, but I might as well be in there because I was watching a pre-love for the first time. Speaking of Julia Robert. Oh, yeah. No, probably seeing you guys achieve what you always wanted, which was, I think, and there's more to come, but you guys set out to make everyone happy. And you do. That's very sweet. You do the brain is so happy. It's mostly, we kind of, you know, they get us here. I don't know. There's something about it. It's cool. We've always loved you. My friends. We appreciate it. Then I miss them. I haven't seen them. I thought you were controlling. Right. Most of them. Give me names. We'll tell you afterwards. There were concerns. I mean, there were concerns. There were concerns of my, me being bossy and whatever. You can be controlling with a lower case seat. I remember this horrible fight we had once about a phone charger. I don't remember exactly, but we were going to go to know my friend dinner. Yeah, totally. And then we got a huge fight in front of Tim and Ania. So that sucked. That sucks. When the fight breaks into in front of the friends, that's really scary. Well, it's hard because you lived with five actors. That's crazy. You know, that could only happen with straight guys because straight actors root for each other. We'd do like each other. Yeah. Well, there's more roles for you guys. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the limit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We got them. I love that. Yeah. That's what you once made me. You're the only person ever to make me storm out of a room. Can you remember the one when we got an argument because I was desperate for a piss and I went to the toilet. And just before I started pissing, you pushed me out the way and sat on the toilet and pissed. I feel like you should let girls go first. Yeah. So you could have peed through my legs. I couldn't have peed through your seat. It all sounds good. Yeah. What I'm saying is worst couple of all time. But I think a lot of those fights were also a result of just like we weren't together all the time. And then it was like that was sort of the basis for like all the bad stuff. The pressure was very high when we were together to be like perfect and nice to each other. Yeah. Well, that's always hard with couples when you're mixing each other for a while and then you get back together. And it's like there is like a clonkiness because you've started to live independently. Yeah. It's hard to not take the independence as like a slap in the face. It's like what you haven't seen me. But now you want to go get coffee alone. Yeah. Totally. Which is so fair. It's like, well, that's what you've been doing. And sometimes it's like I just literally want to listen to this new song. It's not really that deep. I appreciate that you have always celebrated us in our accomplishments. Even post war. I posted about overcompensating. You did. And it was very cute. You sent me the nicest message when it came out. And that was really lovely. And that party was very sweet. What do you want me to fucking say? But here's my thing. I'm like, I'm the best. Sorry. You are kind of the best. I know. It's so weird. And we've always said when you lose one of us, you lose both of us. I know. Seriously. You're as close to it as you don't understand what anyone has ever been. But I feel like because we're still good friends, it's fine. It wasn't easy. We had to not speak. You sent me a text that was like, I need to shut the fuck up. Because I kept up. I was like, my friend Mary Beth. I was kind of living in a dream world for a bit. But then I mean, that didn't last that long. It's sweet though. I mean, it's hard to you think that you can do those things. And also, everyone has like different rules. And also, they'll be like, everyone loves to just bombard you. You go to take your time. You have to heal. We got to make sure that people are healing. And I think you guys are probably heroes to a lot of people watching that this is so amicable and lovely. And I've just loved healing this. And I'm so glad you're back together. We figured out. I'm sorry. We are back together. No, we figured out last night. When I'm 14, he's 38. We'll probably get back together. But he'll have a kid with someone else. They'll save me my drug. It's my baby. I officiate. I'll have to do a good job. And the kid's going to be charming. And I'm wearing a queen. And it's a joke. I don't think we're in a queen. And it's a girl. Yeah. You go to the queen. Well, I've come in ceremony, but we wouldn't do the paperwork. I don't know. Sure. Sure. So that's it. That's all we just do. You know, I got so sad. The other. Oh, I almost figured this. You can do that. Thanks. I saw this photo the other day. And it broke my heart because it was David Beckham and Ms. Posh at their wedding in the purple custom outfits. That's what I really wanted to do for a party. And I thought of it. I think we would confuse people if we didn't know. We probably should should stay away from it until you're 40 and I'm 38. But until them, you know, we can do all the culture. You have six years to do whatever you want. So those wild oats. Yeah. Thank you. And then let this guy fall. Let this show. But what's been the worst part of us not being together? The worst part of not being together. I love to be Mary Beth Boyfriend as like a title was really fun. In the right world, it was just like that took the pressure off me. When I was on tour with you guys, it was like, it was just I candy. You were just hot. I was just like at the back. And like some people would be like, oh my god, it's Mary Beth Boyfriend. Someone took a selfie with me for being Mary Beth Boyfriend. Somewhat that happened like every night. Yeah. You don't have to be humble in a library city. Come on. We're kind of on your turf here. You let her go. Yeah. Wait, we're in England. We're in England. I did a play recently, you know, back on the stage because I'm back on the stage. I'm so sad I missed that. I know it's a shame. She's so brilliant. And you look so fantastic. And I saw some of the fan art, which I need it. The fan art was something that we can get you some. Somebody came to stage door and they talked to me about Mary Beth. And then they sent me a DM saying that if she has a baroni and is listening to this and this makes the cut, then great. She sent me a really sweet DM being like, I'm so sorry for bringing up your acts just in case that was like triggering or something. I was like, no, not triggering. It's good. No, if anything, you gave the performance of your life that man, I'm sure. Yeah. You left it all on the fracking stage, kid. Yeah. We developed a little queen, a queen, a queen. I lick the plate clean. Yeah, kid came out. No, there's nothing to do with me, though. I just arrived in LA one time and it was wheeling into it. It was fully formed. It had a good audience. Yeah, I already got you. Well, because I love anything Benny says. I love the most of the things that you say. I know. I know. It's hard not to perform for Edward. I'll see it. It's hard not to perform for Benny. I'll see it. And I'm just happy to be here. You know what you are, Mary Beth? Face actual? Well, yeah. But you're also my writer die, right or die. How could we not write for our come up? I mean come on Yeah, I was gonna say I put you in a position. Hey, where it's like so do you Do you know what I write for Edward I read for Eddie Obama before you win me? Maybe I've written it. I don't give Yeah, I've been on the tube. I love you. How is the tube? What line are you on? I haven't actually been on yet We've been doing a lot of walking places on the double deckers Well, of course you're saying it a five-star hotel in central London. You don't need to take the tube anywhere You can walk anywhere you want. Yeah, but I'm still like saw to the area of the corn fad Yeah, because you're not the person you've hooked up with that would upset me the most. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding I can do it. Yeah, we'll be sure. No, I think you know Yeah, yeah, we did a good breakdown of people that I've hooked up with over the last and I haven't hooked up with that many So she had a gun to my head and I just had to go through them. Yeah When you announced it on the pod and I actually think this is quite Two years one of your phrases on me of love, but like when you announced on the pod like a baronnie slid in my DMs I was like I'm so sorry about you a merry bath. Are you free this week? Yeah, in the lane like the same I don't know if that's fairly but I do know that kind of thing It is it is strangely family because if she feels comfortable to do that then you've you've created a real safe space Maybe I would say too safe Someone say too safe. I would say you don't have to respond. I didn't respond. Oh, no, no, no No, I left I Yeah, I say give it yeah, give it a let's wait for the dust to set up give it a year and then one year later He said I'm about that pint Maybe I share like homes right by the Corinthia hotel I love that I can't say happy Christmas. I love that you guys don't say Mary It's just happy because we want it to be happy Mary's a bit shouldn't it be happy. It should be happy. Don't marry Let this all Thank you Thank you Thank you. Oh my exit any babe eyes in the road Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode