Coral Santoro: The #1 Reason Most People Never Reach Their Goals (Use THIS 1% Rule to Keep Making Progress When Motivation Disappears)

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success does not have a finish line so we can't compare something that does not exist once you believe you are better than anyone else you're done carl santoro welcome to on purpose it's great to have you here thank you so much for having me i'm so excited carl i've been such a fan of yours from afar we don't know each other we just met today yeah but i've been following your content it's always direct it's clear the message is easy to understand easy to apply there are millions of people across the world that are following you learning from you and you just told me that the number one google question about you is is carl santoro ai well i think we all in this room can confirm that i'm not so i love it i'm not sure yet i'm not sure is jay shetty doing the first hologram ever no no no i'm not doing no i love it so yeah i'm very how does that make you feel how does that make you feel when people are asking that question it's so funny because i'm in the actual tech space so i develop softwares i'm in an ai and when they started asking me about these things i'm like it kind of makes sense but at the same time as soon as i started posting more content a lot of the people started realizing it was not i still get a few questions here and there but it was mostly about me coming into the space of social media because what i do is like the fun side of my life what i actually do is text so i came into this space and i understood it because no one had seen me before and in this moment that we are you don't know what's real or what's not so i kind of understood it and that's the point that i understood that i had to go more into stories show people a little bit here and there about me being real honestly it was funny and me being the first interview here and i'm i'm super happy that people get to see that i'm a real person so i'm really excited about it and i'm really excited about it and i'm really excited about it absolutely talk to me about if someone listens to this episode today what do you want them to walk away with what do you want them to feel how do you want them to change their life to be honest like just like the name of the podcast purpose i got into social media and everything that you see i got into the space because i didn't want people to feel behind in life because of what they see i feel like nowadays we can get confused very easily and the men's side i was talking about this the other day if you are not a man you are not a woman you are not a woman you are not a woman cash outside a lamborghini and doing all these things that you see you're behind if you're a woman if you don't have a birkin bag and if you don't have you know a bouquet of roses that was out of a jet oh my gosh like i don't have the right person and that is not real life i hated the romanticism that we're seeing in entrepreneurship just because real life is not doing a canva template and saying to people do this course and you'll be financially free and then people believe that and that's not real life we all have to be financially free and that's not real life we all have struggles we all go through things in our lives even if it's relationships or work i want people that every time they listen to something it's purpose you're not behind you're on track you're not on a race with anyone and that's why i love so much everything that you portray and that's why i wanted to come here so much because this is real life and i feel like the type of content that we put out everyone relates in a different way i feel like we're all in the same boat but we all have different destinations at the end of the day we all have problems in this room we all have problems in this room we all have problems in this room we all have a problem and it's not rare but it's just how we can get support from now online so beautiful things that i follow a lot of the guests have been here and have a voice and i feel like we all have a voice and we all have a story and if we can put it out there and people can relate in their own way i think there's a purpose of life you spoke about timelines there you spoke about this idea of not being behind how do we stop comparing our timeline to everyone else around us when it feels like we're so overexposed like you said to the cars the birkin bag the bank balance the jet the whatever it may be now you know before you'd compare yourself to the 20 people in your class at school now you can see what 20 000 people across the world are doing how do we stop comparing our timeline to everyone else's there's no race they made us believe that there's an invisible finish line and success does not have a finish line so we can't compare something that does not exist i'm going to compare something that does not exist i'm going to compare something that does not exist i'm going to tell you a little bit about me when i graduated from high school i did not go the traditional path let's say i saw my friends going to college doing all this college life and i knew that college wasn't for me it was in my path and at first it was when social media just started popping off and i remember posting and i remember my saw co-friends talking about me in group chats and stuff and that's the thing that a lot of people are afraid to go out there because of the group what will they say and i let them talk for a little bit then when you make it everyone knows you everyone is your friend so what i'd like to say is like there is no race there is no invisible finish line you cannot compare to something that does not exist when you follow your own path when you follow your own passion a lot of people will not understand that is for sure when you're doing something different people will tell you you're crazy people will tell you that's not the right path to go and it's because they're talking about their insecurities not about the reality of what you can portray so when i started on social media i was like i'm not going to do this i'm not going to do this i'm not going to i remember myself putting out there like years ago because i had an account it was all about different things i want to have now it was about fashion and trips and stuff and i remember all these people that i thought were my friends and if someone's listening to to this and things that their friends are going to talk about you because you're online they're going to talk about you and that's beautiful and if you get four likes and all the people that you thought they were going to support you and then you thought they're going to buy your product you thought they were going to put a like on your new page for your brand and they don't that is showing you who your true circle is that is showing you that you are doing something that they are not willing to do which is expose yourself which is putting yourself out there and that is bravery to the max and i think that today seeing all these things about comparing ourselves online about people that are younger than ourselves because a lot of people are like oh my goodness he's 20 and he's already a millionaire well that's perfectly fine kfc started when he was 75 or 70 something and then you see vera wong she decided her first we've seen this there's no timeline for success so if you're patient i was just telling to my team here and i was talking to them about this and i'm like if you're not in a rush about posting at first you're not going to get likes that's fine if you're not in a rush you're going to get there so there's no comparison about you being younger or being older my parents are 60s and they're reinventing themselves they're like i want to do something different they're 60s i started young when i was 18 doing political things with no experience at all and i was like i'm going to and now i'm about to turn 29 and be like oh my gosh you're a baby i'm like yes but during this 10 years i didn't compare myself to anyone else and just follow my path follow my gut and now i've got the chance to work with presidential campaigns fortune 500 ceos and it was my path so if you still want to do it get the advice from people that are online but don't compare to it just get it and go out put yourself out there any successful person i've interviewed or talked to this idea of knowing what everyone thinks of you is huge it's it's one of the biggest things i was sharing yesterday last night i was just mentioning to you that i was interviewing emma greed for her book launch here in london at the hackney empire and she's from east london i'm from london so it was a really really special feeling and i shared this quote that i've shared many times but every time i say it has such an impact on me and and everyone who hears it it's from charles wharton cooley he said it in 1890 and the fact he said it in 1890 tells us everything, he said, the challenge today is I'm not what I I think I am. I'm not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am. I love that. And it's such a brilliant statement. Yeah. He's saying that we live in a perception of a perception of ourselves. So we think if everyone thinks I'm smart, then I feel smart. But if everyone else thinks I'm weak, then I feel weak. You know what? I heard this and it's called the Marilyn Monroe effect. So she showed up herself, how she wanted to be portrayed. So she was an orphan and she didn't have the means to be who she was supposed to be. So I'm like, if you want to be Hollywood actress, if you want to do all these things and you think you don't have the things, Marilyn showed up as the person she wanted to be. And I love that because once you believe in yourself so much, you're going to make it. Like I always say, you're gonna make it. I didn't have the contact. I didn't have the money to do what I think. And I just worked so hard and believe in myself so hard and the talents and the capabilities I had to. That is so showing. And that's when people start calling you. So it's just about believing in yourself so much. What are the top three traits you believe successful people have that people who don't make it don't have? They always ask me, what's the difference with a 1%? They keep going even when it stops being exciting. A lot of people start, they get a domain, they get the username, they get excited, do some Canva posts, and then nobody likes, nobody buys. The idea is not good. The idea is not the problem. It's that you're not patient enough. And then you have to be honest with yourself. And I think the honesty is that you have to tell yourself that it's not going to be easy, that it's going to require a lot of effort. And once you're honest with that, you have to be on a track that your vision has to be so strong, but the path to getting there has to be flexible. So I feel like the 1% is always patient. It's always honest. And the vision has to be so strong, but the path to getting there has to be flexible. Once you understand that, you're going to understand that your timing is not the timing that you want. I took 10 years to get where I am. So when people see like, oh, she's an overnight success. Overnight success does exist after you work 10 years with nobody watching and nobody clapping for you. That's when it shows. So be patient, be honest with yourself and be very stubborn with your vision. But the path to getting there, flexible. So that's the 1% difference. Once it stops being exciting, be so repetitive about the boring stuff that you're going to make it. Because everyone thinks success is exciting. To get here, to do this podcast, the logistics behind it, this is the fun part when we get to talk. But in any brand, in any business, any relationship, the boring stuff is what makes everything stick together. In a relationship, I love talking about it. I love talking about relationships because I feel like it's been so romanticized about things that a relationship is a thing that you work on every single day. In a business, you work on relationships with your team, with your employees, even with yourself. So it's a matter of just repeating the boring stuff over and over again and getting better at it and listening to other people. Also, one more thing that we're talking about that is listening. I feel like once you think you know it all, you know nothing. That's the kind of thing. Once you believe you are better than anyone else, you're done. In my thing, in my company, what we do every Monday, I'm the last one to speak. Because if you speak first as a boss, as a CEO, then everyone's going to agree with you because they might be afraid not to give you the reason. Yes, you're good. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I don't want yes people around me. I want people to make me better. And that happens with relationships. You want your partner to make you better. Right now, I'm in a beautiful relationship that has make me a better entrepreneur, a better woman, a better because they rise you up. It's not that you're comfortable, but they make you better. I have beautiful friends who want me to succeed. So it's a matter of, you know, I feel just listening, the power of listening, not knowing at all. That's how you learn until the last day of your life. If you listen, you learn and you get to know people better. About the people who love to talk more as well, because people talk too much. They're the ones who usually, not always, but owe the least and have the least to portray. You just reminded me of Eric Schmidt, the former CEO of Google. He had a principle that he called, don't listen to the hippo in the room. And hippo stands for highest paid person's opinion. And he said the same thing. He said, if I speak in a leadership meeting or the most successful wealthy person in the room speaks, everyone around them will just agree. And so it's better to allow everyone else. One thing that you mentioned that really stands out to me, you said what differentiates the winners from the people who don't make it is that they keep working when it's not exciting. And I think that's where the follow your passion movement went wrong. Because people had this belief that if I follow my passion or if I do my purpose, everything's going to be easy. I'm going to wake up happy every day. I'm absolutely going to love everything I do. Not realizing that actually, I'm going to be happy every day. I'm going to if you follow your passion, there's going to be lots of days where you're doing things you don't want to do, where things are not exciting, where you're not winning, where things are not working out. And you're spot on that being able to work when things are uncomfortable is what differentiates the top 1%. And so how do you keep going? How do you keep trying and experimenting when things feel slow and they're not going your way? How do we stay patient to your first point? So I like giving example. When you go to the gym the first time, everything hurts and you see nothing but just internal pain. And then if you keep going, you start seeing a little bit here and there of a muscle. You start seeing here and there a tighten. That's the same effect. Following your purpose and your passion is hard because you're not going the traditional way, right? And we're not going the traditional way. It's going to hurt. It's going to make you question a lot of things about yourself. If you're capable, if it's worth it, why it's not working, why am I doing wrong? Is the idea bad? It's not. But once you surpass that pain, that internal pain, you start seeing results and it's quiet. Success is quiet at first. It's not easy because you are not exposed. It's just you yourself in a room maybe with a laptop and not a team or anything. And at first all entrepreneurs know you are your own PA, your own personal assistant who's responding to emails. You are your own PA. And that is fine. That's how we all started. But once you believe in the process of that, you're greeting something inside of you as well during that change. Because I feel like what success really is. If they ask me, what is success? Success is who you're becoming in the process. It's the resilience you're building. It is the path to the top. You're going to be losing weight because to get there, you're going to lose friends. For sure, you're going to lose friends because you're not the same person. You're going to not be able to speak about the same things on a dinner table. And that is fine. You're going to maybe lose family members who didn't believe in you. And that is fine as well. And you're going to lose a part of yourself that you might not notice because in that silence of not noticing changes, you're changing. And that is already success. So on the way to the top, I always say the top is not closed. People at the top will want to help you. I heard a friend of mine saying, a lot of people aren't helping me. And I'm like, you don't need a lot of people. You just need one. If you have a one person who grabs you by the hand and tells you, I'm going to help you. I'm going to introduce you to someone. That might be enough. You don't need an army of people to succeed. You need first to believe in yourself and then just one person to introduce you. So the top is not closed. The thing is that the top is cold. People were not expecting it to be that cold. Because when you get to the top, it gets lonely. Sometimes. Because since you lost a lot of things during the process of getting there, it's a new you. And at the top, there are fewer voices. So that means that you have more time to think. As a CEO, it's you deciding. You don't get to run to other people lots of times. So that's when your mind has to be very clear on listening, on who you are, and being so sure that any decision you make either turns into good or bad. It's you at the top who got there, who made all decisions to get there. And you're going to be fine. So I feel like the same thing. Once you understand that there's going to be silence, that you're going to lose people, that you're going to grieve an all part of yourself, you're ready. And the climb is slow and you lose people, but it's worth it. I always say to people, you'll get to where you want in life, just not in the way you imagine it. A hundred percent. Because all of us have a visual of what the path looks like, and then reality next to it, which doesn't look like that at all. And then we start thinking, well, this can't be the right path because it doesn't look like what I visioned. It doesn't look like the idea I had in my mind and reality saying, no, no, no, this is what it's going to look like. And we just keep debating. We keep fighting it. And then you don't take the step forward in reality because it doesn't look like the one in your dream. In my case, I started so different from where I am now. Tell me about that. So I graduated from high school, like I mentioned, and I wanted to to be what it was, it was a blogger in that time, 'cause it was like an actual blog. I started posting and at first it was like nothing. And it was kind of tough because all of my friends were talking about me and, ooh, she thinks she's an influencer. And I wasn't an influencer. I was like, ooh, she thinks she's a blogger, you know? But that's so cool when they underestimate you. I love being underestimated because you get to build quieter. You don't have pressure. You don't have to prove anything to anyone. Everyone thinks you're going to fail anyway. Yes, so why not do it? It's a good place to be, yeah. I love it. So once I started posting these things, later on today, they all are my friends. They all know me and they all want something. That's the path. When I started, I thought I was going to be into fashion. But once I started getting invited into Fashion Week, I understood the power of technology and where it was going. So I started calling all these brands that were inviting me to Fashion Week and I started doing their social media accounts. So once I understood the power of social media, I went into my first presidential campaign. I managed my first presidential campaign. Then it led me to a second one, third, and now I'm starting my fourth one. So if you told me that I would end up in politics and then that led to cybersecurity, me developing software and cybersecurity, I would have never believed it. Or me being a political strategist. Never would have thought in a second. So if you told me that by age 29, 29, I would have been divorced, I would have never believed it. And that is fine. I remember when I got divorced, it was something like, ooh, she's so young and she got divorced. And I always love to talk about it because it's not a taboo thing. Like, I got the most amicable divorce ever. It was all good, but it's just things that happen. And life will just throw things at you that you're not aware of. You're not prepared. But the resilience comes to the hardest moments of your life. And in that moment, through all the things that I've been through, and now I started into this path of social media, what I do, this is the fun things. I get messages from all around the world about people, me changing their lives, which I would have never envisioned it, right? So I always say to the people I coach and to people I talk to, do you. Don't do any, everyone else is taken, right? I've heard that phrase, you know, everyone's taken just, you know, just be you. And in my case, I'm young, but I've lived so much. Even my Spotify account says that I'm 63 years old. And I totally believe it. I'm an old soul. You mean when it does the Spotify rap? The Spotify rap? Tells you what you listen to? Exactly. I'm like, okay, yeah, this makes sense. Exactly. This makes sense. So it's just a matter of like, do you, do whatever. Dress, if you want to dress in a certain way, dress in a certain way. You want to go a different path that is not the typical one? Do it. And don't criticize others. It's just so important because that energy that you're portraying by criticizing or doing, it's not coming back to you in a goat way. I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and she said, oh, I heard this friend of ours had a baby and she thinks she's a mom influencer. I thought of like, that's so cool. But the way she said it and it's those things that I hear all the time. She thinks she is. Oh, she thinks she's a singer. She thinks she's a designer. She is a designer. She might not be at the top yet, but she's going to get there. She's not the top influencer, but she's going to get there. In her own timing. So the way that we portray words is so important because if someone has blue hair and you are staring at her because she has blue hair, let her. It's just like the Mel Robbins thing, right? That's like, let them, let her. If they want to do something different that you are not engaged with, let them be. You do you. You focus on yourself so much that your energy, I've heard this over and over, successful people cannot criticize others because they don't have the time for it. They're so focused. I'm being better. For example, I feel like us sitting here. I'm happy about your success. I'm happy about you having a production company. I'm truly happy. Like when I saw it, I called Paige, who's been so wonderful. Paige, if you're listening to this, it was so good because I'm happy for it because I know what it takes to get to certain places. And when people read headlines and we put something out there, it's not to brag. I always say when people put a vacation there, it's not to brag. If people put something in their social media, sometimes it's not to brag. It's sometimes a way of saying, you know, the times they said no to a lot of things to get there. So many times they had to cry themselves to sleep to finally purchase the car they've been saving for. So a lot of times we read social media in the ways that we want to read. If it's with envy, we can twist envy in a way. If you're jealous about something, let it be for good. Let it be for if he can do it, I can do it. But not in a way of like, oh, he has it. Then it's not for me or I cannot have it. There's room for everyone. The world can, can give so much. The doors are not closed to just to you be happy with what you got and read the things differently. Yeah. Be happy for others. Truly, we are in a society that is so jealous, so confused because they don't have it. And I know there's tough times, but in the toughest times, it's when people can arise. They can become the person they want to become. I remember one time I had like $12 to my name and I was looking at my bank account and I could have haven't. Where were you at that time? It was when I just started and I needed to do like my first website for my, it was when e-commerce was already booming. And I remember the YouTubers, that's one of the things they were like, you're going to become a billionaire if you do this product and Amazon FBA was calling thing or something like that. And I was like, oh, I'm going to get into e-commerce. So I saw all those YouTubers. It was like 12 years ago. And I got onto it. I paid this guy to do my website and he basically got my card. I was naive. I gave him my card and basically he took like all the money, didn't retrieve anything. And in that moment, I understood the power of anything in life, like trust. Like I trust in the guy. It failed. It was a lesson. And I opened my bank account and I feel like we've all been there. When you look at your bank account, you're like, oh my gosh, the overdraft fee and all this things, right? And there was two options. Either I stayed there and cried or I started to work. That's how it got into tech. I learned how to code my own website because I didn't have money to pay someone to do my website. And I realized later on how I got into tech was by a moment of failure, which I love to say failure does not exist. It's just data. It's just giving you more information. And in those moments where you're like, what am I going to do with my life? And a lot of things I feel like people right now and the world are struggling with financial situations like ever before. And in those moments, I want you to know that I feel like all successful people we've been there. Yeah. Like it's not easy to get to where you want to get. And on my way here, I remember that a lot of people think they see the car or they see the bag or the watch and they want that. And I'm like, it's fine. You can get there. But real success is not assets. Real success is who you become in the process. And a real success once you get there is who you share it with. Yeah. Because once you get there, it's like who I want to share the news. Before I came here, I called my partner. I'm like, I'm so excited. He was like, oh, you look so beautiful. Congratulations. And like, they're happy for me. I called my friend and she's like, oh my gosh, I'm so excited for you. I brought here my team. They're so excited for me. It's who you share it with. And I always say in friendship, if there's a slight chance of envy or jealousy, the friendship is gone because they are competing with you. And the second you're competing with you, it's broken. People who are around, around you have to be happy about your success because they know their timing is coming. They're following their own timeline and they're happy for you. And that's so important who you share success with. Ugh, I hate Mondays. King's Hawaiian cinnamon swirl bite? Taylor Hansen? Sure, I'll try one. Mmm. Hey, let's get back to work, please. But Taylor Hansen's making my day way better with these new soft and swirly King's Hawaiian cinnamon bites. Taylor Hansen? Nice. Try one. Mmm. Bites. Ba-da-ba-do. King's Hawaiian cinnamon bites. There's nothing like it. Sweet, swirly, so good. This episode is brought to you by Palmolive. Family time isn't just the big moments. It's weeknight dinners. Sitting around the table, everyone talking all at once. So when the plates are empty and the sink is full, use Palmolive Ultra. Palmolive's most powerful formula removes up to 99.9% of grease, leaving your dishes sparkling clean. And the new convenient pump makes cleaning even easier so you can spend less time tackling dishes and more time together. Shop now at palmolive.com. I'm so glad you brought up these more underlying things when it comes to success, especially when you talk about not criticizing others because I feel like as soon as we hear about someone doing something, and if we're aware of it and they're doing it a little bit better than us, everyone gets really, really critical. And we're being critical because we're being competitive. We don't even agree with what we're saying. We're just saying it because, oh, it's uncomfortable to hear that someone's doing it better than me, that someone's getting it right compared to me. And I think what that does is, it creates a culture of criticism in our mind where now, I think about this all the time. My friends who are doing well on social media will never laugh at someone else on social media. They'll only send me the good stuff that other people are doing. They'll say, hey, did you see this update? Did you see what this person just launched? Did you see what this person invested in? And all of my friends who are doing badly on social media will always send me a video of someone to laugh at them. To be like, oh, did you see? Oh, look, let's laugh at this. And it's fascinating to me how you get lost in that world and you feel, better about yourself. So what I found is if you're doing well, you feel better when other people are doing better because it shows you there's more opportunity. But when you're doing badly, you feel happier when other people are doing worse because that makes you feel like a bit of an ego boost. And so I think it's such a good tell as to whether you're focused on yourself or whether you're not because of the critical piece. The other thing that you mentioned that really stood out to me is this idea of sharing it with people. Earlier, you talked about the idea of being lonely at the top. And I think people are also lonely at the top because they don't know how to build the friendships that you're talking about. Because you can't control whether your friend's envious of you or not. You can't control that. How do you maintain good relationships on your way up so that you don't get to the top and then go, oh, I want to make friends now? Because once you're at the top, you don't know why someone wants to be friends with you. So how do you maintain great friendships on the way up without knowing what to do? I think that you change your circle. It's going to happen because the people you're doing business with usually end up being your friends. And the old circle just stays where they are. And not because it's wrong, but because their lives are different. And if you're doing something non-conventional, you're hanging out with non-conventional people, with minds that don't see the impossible, right? So I think you just change a circle. And that happens in life. Sometimes your group chat went silent. Someone had a baby. Someone got married. Someone went abroad. And the group goes silent. And then that's just life. The other day I was at a dinner and I heard them talk badly about you. And the response was like, that doesn't matter. What matters to me is why they felt comfortable doing in your presence if you're supposed to be my friend. So that's how you know. Say that again. That's good. If someone's talking about you and they come to you, a friend comes to you and says, I was at a dinner and they were talking badly about you. The thing is not why they were talking about me badly. It's because why they were so comfortable talking about me in your presence if you're supposed to be my friend. Right? So I love that because if it's a true friend, they're not going to dare to talk badly about you. So that's the thing. I think circles changes. I feel like in my life, my circles have changed multiple times and that's just life. That's just the circle of life. And if you're married, sometimes your partner's friends are going to be your friends. If you go to divorce, maybe it splits. If you go to college, it's your college friends for that time. Then you depart from that city and then you have a new city and you become new friends. So I was talking about being an immigrant as well and following your dreams because I feel like in a way everyone that pursues something usually leaves home. And when you get there, you're praying that the lease you had is good enough. And if you're reading a yogurt flavor that you know the brand is good and then you make your first set of friends and they are started to show you the city and then they become your person in that city. And then you're pursuing a dream. So it's just like, I feel like it changes wherever you go, whoever you want. Sometimes it's who can take you there, right? And you're hanging with them because you see that the possibilities. So it's just a matter of like life. I feel it's just like the circle of life. Yeah, I think that's fair. I feel really fortunate that I've got friends who have been friends with for probably about 20, 25 years is still in my life. And you're spot on the that we can all still be friends is because I hopefully I'm not an arrogant douche and they're extremely and they're extremely non envious. And I think those two things work really, really well together when exactly to your point earlier that I have a great group of friends who aren't envious and not competitive and not, you know, trying to take me down. And then on the other side, you're absolutely right. Your circle changes and you meet new people that understand your new life. And I think that's what it is. I think people think when your circle changes, it makes it feel like, oh, because you're doing better, you want to be around people that are doing better. It's actually not that it's actually people understanding you at different stages of your life who have seen you in different phases, who understand the pain you go through. So I have lots of friends in my industry. The best thing is we can all relate to each other when we're going through the same things. And my friends from back home, they've seen the full picture of me. And so I love that too, because they know me deeper than anyone else on the planet because they've seen me from day one. Exactly. So that idea that your friends change and your circle changes is valuable at the same time as I'd encourage people to be like, you don't have to leave everyone behind. No. And you can open up the door for other people. A hundred percent. There was this beautiful story. I met one of the survivors of the Andes crash and they were a set of a group of friends who were leaving for a rugby tournament and the plane crashes. And I think if someone's seen the show on the movie on Netflix is great. I invite them to watch it. But I was talking to one of the survivors and he said something beautiful that takes me out of like bad days because I'm like, you're a group of friends who crashed in the snow. A lot of them died there and you stayed there for 72 days stranded in snow. And I'm like, how did you pull through? And he was like, all of his friends was important to see one good thing every day. And he said something beautiful. I'm like, are you saying this because it sounds good? And he's and white, you find beauty in things that you didn't understand before. He said, while they were listening, like at the rain or the snow falling, they were like, God is present. And if God made all of this, that means he's here with us. And I find it beautiful. I'm truly believer in God. And I feel like once you leave everything to him, everything starts becoming beautiful. And in that point, when he told me that in 72 days stranded in the snow, they saw one beautiful thing, 72 days in the cold with no food, like it was bad. But then I asked him something. I'm like, how did you know you're going to survive? And he said this, because no one told us it was impossible. And that is something that you can take to your everyday life. You want to embark into a new chapter of your life. And they tell you it's impossible. The market saturated, by the way, the market saturated was invented by someone with low creativity, to be honest. But it's just you believe in yourself, because usually people put their own fears into our own ideas and our own dreams. So that's why we believe in them and we think we cannot make it. So when he said that, I truly believe in it so much because he said, what if we would have been stranded with a lot of people around it? The odds of everyone saying, oh, they're not going to make it. Oh, what are the conditions? 72 days in the cold? They're not going to make it. It would have been higher, right? So he said, nobody told us that it was impossible and seen one good thing in your life. And I truly believe in that. I believe in that on the worst days that I have, I find one good thing. And once you find that one good thing, you push through. You wake up one more day, be like one more day to fix any problem that I have. One more day to try again. One more day to become the person I want to become. One more day, one day at a time. That's why I don't believe in five-year plans. And five-year plans with the advance of technology, everything that doesn't exist. You know how I hire people. It's the funniest thing. I love resumes. That's all good. I love that. But I usually take them to a smoothie ride. I take them with me to a smoothie and I love how they treat people. I see how they treat the waiter or the person at the cashier. I see decisiveness on ordering they're going to take to like forever or, you know, and then while we're sitting in a casual environment, I ask questions about life, right? And when you get to know the part of your team, being good, being a good person, kind heart, honest, and has values, the resume will follow. But if you don't have that as a person, the rest doesn't matter. You can have Ivy League people in your team. That doesn't mean anything. But they're kind people. I hired the other day. So it was impressive. I was doing this speech in Dubai. And then this guy had come from India and he didn't know how to speak English. So he wrote on a piece of paper, something, and he showed it to me once they were doing a meet and greet. And it was basically him saying that he was in tech and that he had saved the last amount of money and asked his mom to come to Dubai to meet me and had a chance to work at my company. And I thought that was so brave because he didn't have the language. He had spent the last cent to come and see me and he was taking a chance. And that's what I love. The three C's of life, challenges, choices, and change. Challenges we all have them. And life will throw at us every single day. But then you have the chance to make a choice. And once you have that, this guy, I hired him on the spot. He showed me one. I thought it was so brave what he had done. So when I see people that have everything and oh, and he had Tourette's syndrome. So when he started talking to me, he was like having a situation and showing with a piece of paper trembling. And I thought it was so brave. Because the meaning of being brave is not that you're fearless. It's that even though you have fear, you're going to go for it. And that moment he was so brave. And I just gave him a hug and I'm like, come Monday to my office. I'll pay the hotel. Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it. His mom just passed away now. And he was a big chance that he was in my team. So it's just a near links. If you get the chance to wake up one more day, you can do it. You can totally do it. I believe in that so much. I have such amazing people. I didn't get here alone. Like nobody gets there alone. You have people that have helped you. When this guy told me that he has survived the situation, seen good thing and his friendships. Oh, and one more thing he told me, he said that between all of them, they couldn't complain. And I thought it was so beautiful because in your everyday, we complain so much about dumb things that if you use that energy to complain, you're going another way. It's the wrong way to go. And he said that during the snow, it was a no complaining, loving each other, seeing one good thing and knowing that nobody told him that it was impossible to survive. So in your everyday, I feel like what he said is like, nobody can tell you you're not capable of doing something. See one beautiful thing every single day and do not complain. That's a great story. That's it. That's a great experience. You said we can watch the, is it a movie or a doc? Yeah, it's a movie. It's called The Society of Snow. Oh, it's on Netflix. It's fantastic. And the scenes are so true. It's true. True story. So once you see that, oh my gosh, you see like how, how did they actually survive? But that's the thing. I feel like those, those type of situations. When people go through that, it was just like the Hudson river crash. And I heard this beautiful story. The pilot said, one engine is out. The other one is out as well. This guy goes, I realized in that moment when the plane was crashing, that I haven't loved my wife enough, that I didn't have spent time with my friends, all these things that you are waiting to do someday. Right. And that's why we, we have our planes crashing every single day. Sometimes we feel like we're down and under, but that's the moment of wake up call. That's the moment when you take a deep breath. I like myself when I'm feeling down doing the 10 second rule and it's just counting myself 10, nine, eight, even like rockets, they count backwards because they're going to go up. So I feel myself like that. Even when I don't feel like I count myself 10, nine, eight, seven. And once I'm like one, I'm up and I'm doing. So it's little rules here and there. I placed myself and nobody taught me. Another thing I like to call is a rule of nines. So people who like productivity tips, I put like a tick tock board and it's like nine squares. And if you just put nine squares throughout your day. Or throughout your week and you cross them, the mind loves completion. So if you cross it out physically, I love tech, but I like some things physically cross it out and post it notes and just cross it out. Your brain loves completion and you feel like you're advancing more than if you think that your brain can hold everything together. It can't. But once you feel completion, it's fantastic. So certain things that I've learned, it's like when, when you're in school and they put a happy, a happy face sticker and you're like, yay, and you're happy when we're adults, we don't have that. So we have to give that to ourselves and we have to give the grace. Of us trying, nobody gave us the blueprint of life. I think that people made us believe that we have another day, that we have more time, time to love, time to forgive, more time to try that thing that we want to start. But life, life is moments. And we think that we own those moments, but we don't. And that's why we have to make the most of it. And at the end of the day, when, when our time comes, I don't want to be able to say, I wish I had. Because when the time comes, I want to say, I tried, I loved, I did it my way. And the invisible footprint that you're leaving in someone else's life, that's what matters. I heard the other day that when you die, men especially, get their first set of roses or a bouquet of flowers. And that was beautiful in a way, because why do we say all these things when people die? Why do we hand a set of flowers? When we can do it when we're alive. They said that two times that people are gathered and you're alive, all the important people and you're alive are either at your wedding or at your funeral. Right? And I thought that is sad in a way, because real life, real life is trying. Real life is failing. I don't believe in failure. It's just data, but let's call it failure. I believe in the power that we have as humans to grab each other's hands and be better right now in this time of our lives. Of our lives, we see more division than ever. And we see division because we don't understand. And when we don't understand something, it's easier to criticize. It's easier to hate. And nowadays, with the media, with the world and what's going on, I believe in unity. I believe that we're separated by things that should never be separated. And I love that if we can get the message of just unity, that we're all humans under this skin. We are all bones. We are. We're not the same. And I believe as humans, we can give each other the hand of love and the power of sincerity and the power of, you know what? I can help you. And if you need someone, I will call you and check in on your friends. There's so much loneliness. It's a new epidemic. It's a new pandemic. Loneliness. And especially with economic situation as well as like people are not being able to have kids. And now I work in the political space as well. And when you ask someone, oh, we're not having babies. It's not because I don't want to. It's because maybe, you know, they can't afford people who are lonely because they got divorced or they're in depression. And I do believe that now, especially now, we can come together as humans, not as political parties, not as race, not as nations, but as humans. The other day I was sitting at a table where there were Christians, where there were Jews, where there were each one of literally Arabs, it was beautiful. And I told them, did you realize there's one? Of each religion. And we can all talk because we can all listen to each other. And then it's beautiful. But now that I've been moving around in Ubers, the other day, my Uber driver asked me about my religion. He was Muslim. And I asked him about his. And as soon as I got off the Uber, he said, Inshallah, ma'am, I hope your day is beautiful. And I thought it was beautiful. He was praying in his culture and his. And it's beautiful. And I told him, God bless you. So the moment that we understand each other as humans, it's not as political parties, not as anything else that the media can portray. And we just see each other as humans means. I think that the moment that we're sitting in the table, it's a table that should be everywhere and around the world. It's because you listen, because you understand. So the moment you start listening to more people, you understand more and getting your own opinion. I hate Mondays. Taylor Hansen. Sure. I'll try one. Taylor Hansen. Nice. Try one. Swirling is so good. It's weeknight dinners, sitting around the table, everyone talking all at once. And the new convenient pump makes cleaning even easier so you can spend less time tackling dishes and more time cooking. It's so interesting now because I feel like we're listening to more people than ever before, but we're not hearing them. Exactly. Right. We're not actually hearing them because there's so much noise. And today we have access to more cultures, more countries, more opinions than ever before. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. But no one's actually hearing anyone anymore because you're just filtering it through your own lens. Because you feel that your opinion is so set in stone that it becomes your identity. Yeah, absolutely. It's because we'd rather be right than have peace. Exactly. Yeah. A hundred percent. That's why when you listen to someone truly, what you just said is that I feel like more and more today with politics all around the world is that you feel that that's your identity and that's not your identity. Right. And once you understand more about situations and we have more people talking about free press, let's say more, more information, different ways that you can get your information, you can understand that. But any political party cannot be your identity. Your identity is something completely different. It's who you are on your every day, who you're becoming for a better person. And the other day I found this beautiful story that I told that there are three genies and they decided where to hide happiness from humans. And the one genie goes, you know what? Let's hide it at the bottom of the ocean. And the other goes, you know what? No, they're going to build a submarine. They're going to find it. Yeah, you're right. The other one says, let's put it at the top of the mountain. He says, no, they're going to learn and put equipment. They're going to climb and find it. And the last genie says, why don't we hide it inside them? They were never going to dare to find it there. And I thought it's so funny because it's true because we're seeking happiness externally. And we've been taught that because since we're little, if it's not an applause, it's not valid. When people say, let's take a picture and post it, because if not, it didn't happen. You know what I love? When I take a picture that I'm never going to post because it made me happy. It's the best. That's the best. It's the moment that you understand it was for you. The other day, my partner took a picture of me. I'm like, oh my gosh, I look horrible. He's like, no, to me, you look beautiful. No, and I want to remember this moment. And it's about moments. It's not about externally. So when this story about the genies just remind me of, it's true. Happiness is inside you. The purpose is inside you. It never left. You just let it rot in based on someone else's opinions. And because they didn't clap for you. so the purpose never left the other day someone told me I fell out of my purpose I lost my purpose I'm like no no your purpose is inside you it never left you you just let outside opinion dictate your decisions yeah it's when you feel disconnected from yourself you stop listening to yourself that you get distracted by other people's opinion is when you think you've lost your purpose 100% Coral I wanted to switch into a bit of entrepreneurship and I want to do this segment with you called this or that okay I love it and so I'm going to ask you this or that and you're going to tell me which one and then why love it and we're going to go through quite a few so the first one is do you believe in discipline or motivation oh discipline 100% motivation fades motivation fades when everyone's I'm so motivated that happens a lot I was super motivated in January to start gym went twice motivation died I'm out right when people say I'm motivated to start a new diet but I'm going to start on Monday why Monday why can you just start Thursday because as humans we just decided that Monday was it or January was it but now I'm motivated to start a new diet but I'm going to start on Monday why Monday why can you start a new diet but I'm going to start on Monday why Monday why can you just start Thursday now oh what what is it oh we're halfway through our week and it's almost June so that means we're halfway through the year and that means you know what I'm going to start next year we're too late no motivation fades discipline discipline makes you wake up the days you don't want to discipline makes you want on a rainy day discipline means you're up until 5 a.m and you haven't slept and you haven't had any food and you're still going because you have to finish the task discipline 100% Olympic athletes you know and you've probably talked to so many and it's discipline yeah they don't they don't want to go and swim on minus two degrees and train for the Olympics it's and it's going to hurt and that's the same thing with entrepreneurship it's gonna hurt it's not the same physical pain as an athlete but it's a different kind of pain when you're the entrepreneur not going to pay yourself at first a salary you're going to pay your team first or you're going to have noodles and and pasta for the next year because you can't afford a lot of things it's a different kind of pain but it's discipline and if you stick to it it's it's just like when people pose the first time they open an Instagram account they post once it pulls twice like it's not working like discipline discipline you're gonna get there you're gonna learn my first video sucked my first videos got like 50 likes no no my first videos got my mom my dad likes and probably someone else account that followed that day I was a bot right but then it just grows when and you and you learn from that it's not immediate so discipline okay discipline over motivation ideas or execution I feel like both because you have to have a strong idea of what you want to do and not change 10,000 times the idea because sometimes the idea is good but you have to execute it and change sometimes a lot of things for that idea to work because sometimes we think we know the industry we're getting to but we actually don't until we're there and we have to do a lot of different things like the path to get there it's visual and strong so when people that idea is bad it's not bad you just haven't tried one thing for a long time to see if it's working so you try five different variables and you don't know which one's working and you think like it's not working no just one thing at a time I feel like the same time a lot of people have great ideas but they just don't stick to it for a long period of time I'm an execution over ideas person I feel like I've seen the worst ideas become really successful because someone executed really well on it you see liquid death right yeah yeah like water making it totally water bad it's just water brilliant just how they do it the market saturated that we just talked about it is not saturated totally yeah I mean I was told podcasting was saturated seven years ago when there were 700,000 podcasts today there's two and a half million podcasts there you go so I fully agree with you last one of these intuition or data so I feel like intuition is data talk to me about intuition what is the actual meaning of intuition and for me intuition is just a lot of things that you've lived which is data which is giving you a sense that we don't know how to explain did you know that when you're a baby the first organ that is born is your stomach so when you feel intuition say I feel it I feel it is because technically it started there so intuition for me is just data that you've lived in order for not to make a mistake or in order to make a good decision so in my case a lot of the times when I started in my career being a woman young I 18 managed a political campaign on social media when social media wasn't a thing it was kind of like who is she she's young she doesn't have a degree she didn't have the thing right but then as I started moving I've worked with soccer which is fully male dominated tech is a space that has now more and more women but when I started it was me well until now I feel like I work with 100% men on my meetings on on everything and it's just a matter of like getting into an industry where you have to believe in yourself so much that you're not drawn apart so when people give me excuses about I'm too young or I'm this and that or that there's no excuse anymore the path and the information has now been open to so much to so many people I feel before if it was set on a book it was set on stuff google came if google said it it must been right then alexa came if alexa said it beautiful if siri came it must been true now we have chad gbt if chad gbt said the information has been true and now we have chad gbt if chad gbt said the information has been out there all along I started coding when there was no chad gbt to help me to code had to go and read actually read and go to articles and blogs and stuff online to try to understand so if you really want it nowadays you can do it like anything as an entrepreneur so it's just intuition for me is a must because it's just back end by the data that you've lived because you do so much of this in your professional life you're guiding people in their presidential campaigns you're guiding people in their presidential campaigns you're guiding people in their presidential campaigns fortune 500 ceos when it comes to their social media strategy their digital strategy if someone right now wants to start building a social media following what are the first three things that they should do first things go and search your competitors you know what I love to do I love to go to google and find not the five stars but the three stars because the three stars are giving you a path of where it was almost good but not terrible and that's your gap so go to google search your competitors go to instagram and on instagram I would go even to your page when I started and I wanted to see what people liked it's not going to be the same from you and me because I'm going to do something totally different so people are like oh she's copying or you're copying no nobody's copying anything because warm water is already there it's been created right but go to your competitors the first time I started my first account on e-commerce I would go to google I would see the three star reviews and then I would go to all the people that I commented I would go and find them on social media or go to their social media page and literally invite them to go see my page so when people are like oh it's not working nobody's following me I'm like but have you done the work it's not easy at first especially if you're a sole entrepreneur so first definitely go and stalk step one yeah your algorithm is showing you about your same thing over and over again so you're saturated that's the way to go so you not intentionally but intentionally your subconscious tries to copy that and you turn out to be something that you're not because you're copying that right the biggest ideas I've gotten for other people's brands or strategies I've done have come if I'm looking into soap I would go to nail polish because I would get ideas from there and then we'll apply it here so trying to make your algorithm show you something else that's not in your industry because you're saturated with that that you think that's the path to go and if that's not the path to go it's done force your algorithm to show you different things and third be patient because social media today there's no saturation I started eight months ago and built a huge platform it's so funny because it's like the Mandela effect have people talk to me and say I've been following you for years and I've been eight months on social media right so it's just the effect that they saw me so many times that they think they've seen me there but that's the thing my paths it can be different from you and if you're patient and you don't have a rush and if you truly believe in yourself and your idea you're going to get there so it's just a lot of patience anything in life is patience nothing happens in a blink of an eye it's like just getting your body toned like if you want to go on YouTube and put how to get abs in seven days and there are a lot of those videos you're not going to get them right the muscle builds and the muscle of resilience in business it's hard it's tough but you build a muscle you build resilience you build character and for me character is something so important because today we hear a lot of people talking about success but it would truly a success is who you are as a person who you're leaving with and the values that you're leaving people with and in your business you're going to be able to do a lot of things and you're going to be able to if you're a business owner always abcs the abcs is always be communicating and I love that because if you are communicating with your team if you're communicating in love nothing can go wrong I feel like one of the most important things as humans is the lack of communication because when there's lack of communication bad things happen everywhere it doesn't matter what happens it's just it just goes bad I had one time one of my team had a bad communication with a business that we were doing and instead of putting a zero they added another zero and sent the wire so I was like oh that's beautiful okay what we're going to do about it it was a lack of communication between teams so it's just a matter of like communicating and love the same thing once communication ends love ends that's something I like to talk about is becoming an entrepreneur is who you're with romantically it's very important interesting tell me about that who you have next to you can definitely define you because I've seen a lot of very talented people that can't go past that because of the person who have next to it because they make them feel stuck if you are a woman getting married you're going to have a lot of people who are going to get into business I felt like you have to have someone that is not afraid of you being more than them maybe because there's certain circumstances where you're going to have stigmas in this life, that the man was the one that provided, man was. And now we see more and more entrepreneurs, more women who are super powerful by themselves. Right now I have like the most beautiful relationship, right? And I see the difference from others because he is happy by my success. He's happy to, you know, help me in the ways that he can to make me succeed, right? I have close friends who have partners who don't make it easy for them. I feel like when you're an entrepreneur, you're marrying the vision. You're not marrying the person. You are marrying late nights. You're marrying an idea that the other person cannot see, but has to trust you. And when you understand that, everything changes. Because when you marry an entrepreneur, you're marrying uncertainty. You're marrying late nights. You're marrying those things that having a nine to five might not give you because that's more stability, right? But an entrepreneur, ooh, being an entrepreneur is just marrying an idea. That might change 10 times and you have to be good with it. It might mean that they're going to miss birthdays. It might mean that they're in their phone all the time. It might mean that, you know, you are on a dinner and you have to leave to take the call and you have to be okay with that because you're marrying that person or you're dating that person. So I feel like who you are with in this lifetime can either make or break you. And it's just not about being comfortable with the idea because sometimes I'm like, I'm comfortable with them. So I'm staying. Life is not meant to be comfortable. Life is meant to be uncomfortable. I never want to be comfortable. And the other day they asked me in an interview and they said, but why do you want more? I don't want more because it comes to monetary because I want more money. It's because I know that I'm not finished being the woman I want to become. And when you're becoming, that means you're uncomfortable. And for example, you right now entering a new space, it's uncomfortable at times because it's more work and it's more things and you have a beautiful life. Take it on. That's why we take it on. But I could never envision myself being so comfortable that I'm on a Tuesday night and I'm like, okay, no, no, I want more because life is meant to be lived to the fullest, mean to be used so much that, you know, I wake up every day, I came here and I was so excited about this because you know what? Once you start living, I feel like in our industry and you get to enjoy all these cool places and dinners and events. I remember the first time I got invited to the American Music Awards after party and it was a chain smoker's after party. And I did not know anyone in the industry. And my friend, Jason Richman, he was at the time the vice president of Paramount Pictures. And I met him there and we were sitting at this like fireplace and he goes like, oh, it's so cold. And he goes, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, what do you do? And I'm like, oh, I'm an influencer. I'm a blogger. He's like, oh, that's so cool. Can you come to my office to Paramount? I'm interested in what we can do together. You know, like, I'm an influencer. I'm a blogger. I'm an influencer. I'm an influencer. I'm uncomfortable at that point because they were all celebrities. I remember like One Direction was there, like Haley Seinfeld. Like it was so many people I did not feel comfortable. I'm like, what can I talk to these people about? Like, who am I? The imposter syndrome. And imposter syndrome at the end of the day is just you're getting to a new level that you're not familiar with. It's like getting to an airport where you already know the gate and you already know where you're going to have lunch or, you know, all these things. And you go to the airport and you feel ease. But when you're landing to a new airport, you do not know. You're kind of like, oh, wait, where is the gate? That's kind of what imposter syndrome feels like. It's just another place. So at that time, I remember I was sitting down at this after party and I started talking to this guy who I did not know who he was. So I go like, oh, and what do you do? And he's like, I sing. I'm like, oh, that's so cool. And then my friend goes like, oh, you're talking to Post Malone. I'm like, oh, I did not know how he looks like. And it's just this really cool thing. It's when I met Daddy Yankee as well. And I'm like, OK, where's the guy? He's like, that's the guy. I'm like, oh, that's the guy, you know. So it's just moments that you're uncomfortable and you have to be yourself and you have to be open up the possibilities of what life can bring to you. And at this point, I remember in my career, I got to meet so amazing and talented people. And a lot of times you just see they're humans. When you see social media and you see a number, it's just a number. I'm a human. You're a human. Everyone's room. We're just normal people. We all have problems. The only thing that we have different. We dare to believe in ourselves so much that people believed in us and gave us a fall. I wouldn't be here sitting if people weren't following me. You wouldn't be sitting, giving me the interview. People didn't believe in you. So it's just a matter of like, don't believe in the imposter syndrome. Don't believe it. It's not real. It's just believe in the thing that I just said somewhere. You've not been yet, which I love the word yet. You're not successful yet. You are not there yet. It's just yet. And I have been doing this movement. I've been going around. We brought it to so many countries. It's 122 countries we brought it to. And it's the I Still Build movement. And I'm launching my book next year. So I'm going to be definitely launching it with you. But it's the I Still Build movement is that we're all builders. And either way or not, we are building something. And I love to do this every time I go somewhere and to a different country. I love to do this part where I put on the screen and I'm like, when fear takes over me and it tells you I'm not enough, what do you say? And people go around and say, I still build. When? And I still doing all this. And people go like, I still build. And you just start believing, I'm a builder. You're a builder. We're all builders. We're building different lives. Someone is becoming a mother full time. That's beautiful. You're building a home. You're building an idea from scratch that doesn't exist. You're a builder. You're building a life alongside someone that you're going to spend the rest of your life. You're a builder. You're building an idea that might exist and you want to tweak it a little bit. That's awesome. You're a builder. And in this stage of life, we just see that we're like I said, in the same boat, in different destinations. We all have crisis in life. And I understood the power of time with this because my dad, I'm an only child. My parents have been, they are my life. They are my greatest support. But you know what? It's something that I understood that they always believed in me. I always saw them as builders because they build their businesses from scratch. I always knew what a real entrepreneurship entrepreneur looks like because when I was young, I would go to the office on a Saturday because they were building, right? And my grandma always told me something is you can do it. And I remember this, you can do it because there was like a little thing on my bed and she would hold my hand and she would let go and she's like, you can cross, you can do it. And it's the same thing. The most beautiful thing that you can do in life is believing yourself so much of what you're building. It doesn't matter what it is, but it's just believing in what you're building. And in this moment of you can do it. Sometimes I do what is called the power pose. In the power pose, I heard this article about this neurosurgeon who stood up. To operate in this little girl's brain, she was three years old. And as a neurosurgeon, he said that if he had had like a tiny mistake, the girl would basically be brain dead. So he said that it was like a 16, 17 hour surgery. And he would go in front of a mirror before it and he did the power pose, right? And after I heard that, I always do the power pose. So what is the power pose? You stand in front of a mirror, you put your arms like Superman and you lock yourself. You see yourself. Yeah. And you see who you really are. You're like, you know what? Let's do this. Bring it. They tell me I can't. Watch me. You think I cannot do it? Watch me. And I love that. Because once you understand the power that is inside you, nothing can break you. And seeing yourself in the mirror is something that I always ask. How many times do you talk to yourself? Like, no, I talk to myself. I'm like, no, you are thinking. You're having thoughts. And there was a Harvard study that said that 78% of thoughts, are negative on a daily basis. So when I heard that, I'm like, you're not talking to yourself. You are listening to your thoughts in mute. But what if I told you that you stand in front of a mirror and you said, you know what, Coral? You're going to have a beautiful day. You're so powerful. You're so capable. You're breathing. You get one more chance. And you put yourself in power pose and you see yourself. You see the power inside you. No one that you admire has something different than you. Yeah. You just believe in yourself so much that once you stand in front of the mirror and you do the talk to yourself and you do this, oh, life becomes so beautiful. Oh, I love it. I mean, I can definitely say that before I go on stage, there's rarely a mirror there because I'm backstage. But whenever I go on before stage, if I'm in power pose, it is so much more easier to go out there and own the stage than it is when you're like just sitting there thinking about stuff, whatever it may be. And I love the distinction you made between the thoughts and the mind. That's not talking to yourself. That's just hearing. Yeah. And the big one that I took away there, my favorite type of people are over communicators. Ugh, I hate Mondays. Taylor Hansen? Sure, I'll try one. Taylor Hansen? Nice. Try one. Mmm. Bites. Ba-da-ba-doo. Don't you love them? Sweet, swirly, it's all good. powerful formula removes up to 99.9% of grease, leaving your dishes sparkling clean and the new convenient pump makes cleaning even easier so you can spend less time tackling dishes and more time together shop now at palmolive.com this is how i think about a relationship you're in one place your partner's in another place and you're driving to the same party tonight and your partner leaves a bit earlier than you you leave a bit later but you call them up and say hey i'm running a bit late can you wait for me outside and your partner says yeah yeah sure sure sure i'll wait for you outside that's cool what time you're gonna get there you're like i think i'm gonna get there 20 minutes after you get there they go great fine comment 20 minutes after they're waiting there you're on the way you get stuck in a bit of traffic you go hey look i'm still 10 minutes behind i'll be there in 30 minutes why don't you go inside your partner says i thought you wanted me to wait you go no no no it's okay it's okay you just go inside you know i'm gonna be a bit later you get there 30 minutes later you walk in the relationship wasn't getting there at the same time it wasn't that you were moving at the same pace it's that you were in constant conversation and communication and connection about where you were and i think that's the communication that's lost and i love that you're posting on your social media those things that i i did one similar but it was about traffic and like one is having a baby one just divorced one is having all the situations in life and i feel like that's social media we just see a tiny window we don't see the full picture and that's when we we communicate each other and we talk to your partner you talk to your friends you see you say like oh we're not so behind oh it's not that perfect i'm like when it comes to my social media i wanted people to leave with a message not with what i have not with where i live not not with anything at all because my life is not perfect at all i understood the power of time and life when my dad got cancer and he got diagnosed and there was a moment in life where he's he's wonderful and i thank god and i'm like but he got into an exam and he got sepsis from it and he was in intensive care for a long time and i understood the power of time of the things that i wanted to do i'm like i want to do everything now and it's the moments when you understand all these things right as an only child i feel like when they ask you how is it to be an only child was it tough when you were a kid no it's when you are an adult and you realize that everything is up to you so it's just a matter of like how you can communicate everything is about communication communication communication communication communication communicate about the beautiful things you can tell a person why wait if you are in love with someone say it even if you're afraid have you heard that gray's anatomy line no it's beautiful it's like eric's own that just passed away he has this beautiful line where he says say it if you're in love with someone say it even if it hurts in your bones even if you're afraid even if it's not the the result that you want to hear say it and i feel like that's life go for it dare to say it in a meeting i heard this amazing story about the guy that invented vitamin water and he went to coca-cola and basically said i have the next product and he literally sold the idea of having like water with flavors and he got pay off like four billion i think if i'm not wrong so it's just a matter of like going communicating dare to do it the worst thing that can happen is a no and that's fine you know but it's just a matter of believing communicate yourself say that you love say what you don't like as well because in the best communications it's saying the uncomfortable things yeah people don't like it they don't want to hear uncomfortable things but it's what makes you grow in a company and people have to come and say the things that you've been doing wrong nobody wants to hear that i'm just gonna make you grow or it's gonna make you bankrupt if you don't hear that right so it's just a matter of communication live is all about communicating in every aspect of it well said carl i want to thank you first of all for traveling 30 hours to be here this is the dedication i wanted to point it out because you've been talking about dedication you've been talking about discipline you've been talking about putting in the work talked about overnight success for you to travel 30 hours to be here to be on the show i think that is the longest anyone has ever traveled to be on the show so i want to honor you for that i want to thank you for that uh be so grateful for that and we end every episode of on purpose with a final five these questions have to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum so carl santoro these are your final five brought to you by state farm question number one what is the best advice you've ever heard or received so i think there's a quote i really like and it's a winner is just a loser who try it one more time so i don't stop at failure i love that great advice question number two what is the worst advice you've ever heard or received follow your purpose because well at the end of the day a lot of people just say like follow your purpose but purpose comes with a lot of dedication so i feel like that's incomplete advice so just say follow your purpose but know that it's not going to be easy and that's the thing just purpose sometimes it's not and it's not going to be easy enough absolutely question number three when do you know that a relationship is over i think a relationship is over when the admiration dies you have to admire your partner for the good and the worse you know i was just talking to my friend who's in the studio with me but it's a matter of like when you get married and they ask you in good or in bad and sick doesn't help that's the priest saying like the cute version but what if i told you and i heard this the other day it's like what if they amputate three of your of your members what do you still love her it's like oh it makes you think what if we bankrupt and we have to start over i just heard ian somerhalder talking about nikki reed and that they were eight figures in debt and how they pull through that that's not easy financial debt is not easy but it's just a matter of admiration if you admire your partner and that dies i think it's over question number four how do you define a good friend i feel like a good friend is always happy for your success i have a group chat with two of my friends and before i got here one is in shanghai one is in korea and they all woke up at the same time to see me get ready and my makeup and for me they were happy for my success so if your friend is happy for you you have a good friend because they're not jealous of you and they're not afraid of your success fifth and final question we ask this to every guest who's ever been on the show if you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow what would it be respect if you respect each other that's it you don't need to hurt one another's opinion respect means that you respect their time i respect so much people's time because it means that you value their time as well as yours respect means that you can respect your partner because you respect them maybe they don't have a good day and that doesn't mean you know you've lost it all respect means that in your team you respect them with who they are with their ideas with their values so if there could be one thing and i think the world would be better off with is respect each other carl santoro thank you so much everyone who's been listening and watching wherever you are whether you're at work at home please tag me and carl on tiktok and instagram with your best moments the parts that you're going to try and apply the parts that you're going to try and live by the parts that you're sharing with a friend carl thank you so much thank you so much i'm so so thankful truly grateful and uh it's wonderful to finally meet you i'm wishing you all the best for your book all the success may it come your way and thank you continue to help so many people around the world thank you so much it's been a pleasure and for everyone's in yourself you are enough and i'll see you next time thank you so much thank you everyone for watching we'll see you soon if you love this episode you'll love my conversation with airbnb founder brian chesky on how to tap into your creative potential and the number one thing people get wrong about success the best people in your life will be people who see potential in you that you didn't see in yourself and i often wonder i hate mondays king's hawaiian cinnamon swirl bite taylor hansen sure i'll try one hey let's get back to work please but taylor hansen's making my day way better with these new soft and swirly king's hawaiian cinnamon bites taylor hansen nice try one king's hawaiian cinnamon bites there's nothing like it