Cool Guys, Slick Guys, Neat Guys w/Caitlin Peluffo | Your Mom's House Ep. 876

(dramatic music) - Welcome, welcome to your mom's house. (upbeat music) - Welcome to another episode of your mom's house. Very excited to welcome our guest. I met her on a very, very funny, as a matter of fact, I would say it was funny AF when I met her and I saw her perform. You can check out her special prosciutto rose. You can get tickets to see her live all over the country. Give it up for Caitlin Palufo, everybody. Let her hear it. - Hello, hello. Thank you for clapping in the sound booth. Thank you. - I met you on funny AF at the finals. - Yes, yeah, yeah. - And I gotta tell you, I think I may have told you this when I saw you around there later, I went into that being like, this is probably gonna be super lame. I had not been watching the show at all, so I didn't know. I did the LA round one thing where people did, they only did like, I don't know, three to five minutes, it was short sets. And it was kind of like any night at a club where you're like, there was some okay, there was some really good and there was some not great. And you were like, okay. And then I think the fact that it was, we're coming to the final. I was still thinking of comedy competitions I'd seen on TV, which were always kind of, what you're like, yeah, that's all right. Because it's censored, 'cause you're watching like network TV and you're like, this is kind of lame. So I was like, yeah, I'm sure this will be fine. And I sat there and like every one of you guys I kept going like, what the fuck, that was so good. And they were like, yeah, have you not been watching the show? I was like, no, I'm not watching the show. I was like, I'm fucking doing my own thing. I'm on the road, I'm doing a bunch of stuff. But you killed it. - Thank you, I appreciate it. - Absolutely. And that whole, that finals, I was like, yeah, I don't know, any one of you would have felt like, yeah, they should win. Like nobody was like, oh, that was good. That's what, you guys were all great. - Yeah, that was, it was, 'cause we were doing this and it never really felt like a competition because we all knew each other for so long. - You did, you knew everybody. - I knew everybody, I knew Osama since I started. Osama and I were like the closest on the show. - Okay. - I think I met him the first month I did comedy. - In New York? - In New York. - Okay. - And so we've been buddies. - How long now? Have you been doing this time? - 12, almost 13. - Okay. - Yeah. And I've known Ron for a long time. We did some festivals together. And I've known Reg for a long time. We did open mics together. - So funny. - And yeah. And so we were all just like, what are we doing here? We should be at Karma Lounge at three o'clock, doing a bad open mic. - Yeah. - So the fact that we were like doing something for Neckvellus, it was like, oh great, we did the thing. Whatever, we none of us knew that it was gonna be a big deal. - I mean, and so because like nobody can comment on it like somebody who participated, it really did have a huge impact, right? - Huge. Change my life. - Really? - Completely. I'm out of debt. - That's nice. - Yeah. - I am touring like crazy. I have the schedule I've always dreamed of. - Yeah. - And my voice cannot handle. - Yeah, I'm doing too many spots. We just talked about this. - Yeah, I gotta ease it back in the city a little bit. But it is like, and then I get recognized all the time. - Crazy. - But not in a weird way. Everybody's super nice and super respectful. But it is like, it's completely changed. - That's so cool. - It's the coolest thing that's ever happened to me, and it's such, I'm so grateful. - How long will you do your current tour? Like is this like an endless tour? - They tell the wheels fall off, yeah. - Okay. - Yeah, I'll go, I also love touring. - Yeah. - I love doing an hour. I love, now people are like there to see me. - They're coming to see it, yeah. - Changes, everything. - It's so different than just like, let's see who the fuck this is. - Yeah, I do. - Which is a crazy way to go to a club, I think. They're like, I didn't really like this. And you're like, yeah, you came to this. No one, no one forced you. - I'm on the internet, you can look me up. - That was always this thing about like, papered rooms, right? 'Cause people don't know, when you start, you don't sell tickets. So you just like show up at the Kansas City Improv. And then people are like, yeah, I got some free thing. I didn't look up anything, but I'm gonna show up to this with expectations that it's my humor. And you're like, that's insane. - Yeah. - Like, you don't go to music shows and be like, the fuck is all this guitar shit, right? Like, you're like, look it up, man. Look up what you're gonna see, but they don't. But obviously it's a huge shift when somebody goes, I watched you, I like this person, I like their humor. I like their perspective on life. And then they go to see you in person. For you as the performer, I mean, it's the greatest gift. - Nothing better, because you can just let loose, have fun. - Yeah. - You know, you can catch yourself. You know, there's also, I think what's great about the final four is that we'd all been doing it for over 10 years. - And that's, it came through. That's the other thing is like, I should say, is watching you guys, you know, I was on stage there with Nikki and Kevin and I'm watching. I was like, oh, this is the other thing. It's like, first of all, these, like, it was fun to see like what you would call a club set. Like it was everybody's like, the standup, they weren't like, oh, we'll do this for this competition, which always you can sense that like, oh, there's a lot of, like, I had to change this word, I had to take out. So everyone felt like they were doing their set, but also everybody, you just felt seasoned. Like people, you're like, oh, this person, these people have been doing this for a decade. - Yeah, yeah. I think I was the one that had done it the least, which was 12 years. Everyone else was 14, 15, and it was wild. That's why I think the show did so well. - It's so cool that it's coming back. I think that's great, they renewed it. - Yes. - So it's like, it's, I think it's great when you're in standup and something works for standups and then they go, and they go, we're gonna keep doing this. You're like, it's just gonna give more people opportunities. - Yeah, it's, it's funny. I'm getting a lot of messages from people who are like, should I do it? And I'm like, yeah, are you crazy? It's like doing a late night spot with exactly what you want to say. - Yeah, exactly. And that's the other thing is like, we were all, I think in standup, you kind of go, well, what has the impact now? What has impact? Because it used to be that it was late night spots, but that was like the, say like the 80s, right? And maybe then into the 90s. Then it became, if you had like a comedy central presence, those kind of recalling cards that could like launch people, but both of those things just kind of like, you know, they have their time and then it just kind of ends. Now for like the last, I would say kind of decade, people were getting discovered by putting their clips up. So like clips of your own standup, you know, crowd work clips or just clips of material. And then people go and like, here's my special on YouTube and hoping to get recognition that way. But for like a comedy focus competition to have that impact, I think it's great. It's really great. - Yeah, and the producers and everybody was so nice and supportive and they knew that we, no one knew what they were doing, I feel like. I think Bill Dixon was the only one with like, who was like, no, this is how we're going to do it. We're going to be nice to the comics. We're not going to make them look bad, which was nice. I think they only showed one bomb. And he handled it like a champ and now he's selling tickets. - Really? - Yeah, he's doing great. - That's nice that they didn't make, yeah. Yeah, there was, I'll never forget this, to Bill's testament. They Netflix put up a clip on Threads, which was bombing in front of Kevin Hart. And Bill saw that and he called them and he said, take that down and they took it down. - Really? - Yeah, they took it down. And it's like, great. Thank you for protecting us. - That's really nice. - Yeah, we normally don't get that. - No. - No. - No, somebody just was asking me, they're like, what's like, 'cause I'm going to do, I'm going to do a movie next week. And they're like, what's like, harder? And I'm like, what's harder? (laughing) A movie or stand up? Stand up. And they're like, really? I'm like, yeah, of course. You mean 50 people standing around being like, do it again, we'll fucking make you look great in this. Or like, hey, you forgot that word. And don't worry, in post, we'll kind of cut around it and make you like, everyone's here to make this work great for you. You're like, I'm just out here by myself. And if you don't hit it, everyone's like, you fucking suck. - Yeah, people can throw things at us. - Yeah, it's definitely harder. - Yeah. - Where you're the writer, director, performer. Yeah, that's harder. - Yeah. - So funny. - Not even close. - Not even close. - No. Just why I'm going to do it is fucking so much fun. So all right, here's our opening clip. I don't know if you're familiar with how the clips work on here, but you'll get it. - Okay. - This is just a short clip to get us into the feel of this episode. - Okay. - Here we go. - Good morning. I was wondering something, and I still haven't been able to figure it out. Why do you always feel better on a Friday? Enjoy the day. - This is a big time. - Who is Randy? - Don't bring anyone up into this. - No, Bob and the fuck is that? - Welcome, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. - It's kind of a long intro. - It's nice. - Yeah. - Catchy. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (laughing) - There we go. - Well, it's credible. - It's pretty long, right? Guess how long that intro's been played? - Oh. - 16 years. - Oh my God. - 16 years, that intro. - You can't change it now. - Now every time someone comes in, they're like, "How long is this?" I'm like, "Well, it's 16 years of whatever, "how long that is." - I mean, it's very good. - Thank you. Ryan Match, the match man, he made that. - I don't remember that. - Good job, right, right. - Good job, Brian. (laughing) Football is back. And not just in your living room, DraftKings is live in all 50 states, and it's here just in time for the season of Pig Skin. 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Also, this guy's like, why do Fridays feel so good? Is that really, you're debating why it feels good to see how the fucking week numb nuts? What do you think? He thinks he's so smart, too. He's like, oh, he's like, have you ever wondered? Have you ever, also, I'm dressed like that guy. What are we gonna do? (laughs) Why do Fridays feel so good? And he's like, isn't that a clever thought that I have? Yeah. Like, ladies, think about it. Think about it. Think about it. And go ahead and comment below. Yeah. Why do you think Fridays? I love his little house decor. Look at him. That's in a bathroom. He didn't put that up. No. There's no way. He's like, every time she leaves, I make a video in the bathroom. (laughs) I make my secret little videos in the bathroom. He's got to work on framing. It is a mess. Oh my God. But a sweet boy, sweet cherub. Come on. You could be saying much worse things into that mirror. Maybe he's available. I can reach out to him for you. Honestly, at this point, come on. Are you single? Oh my God. This is the best show to be on. Oh yeah? So many potential suitors for you. Oh no. Yes. Are they nice suitors or gross suitors? No. Nice guy. All right. Okay. Would you like to. DM me if you have a job. Oh yeah. You can DM her. Or I could actually show you potential suitors. Oh sure. Yeah. You could be like, yeah, hit 'em up. Okay. I love that game. Okay. Here's, this is fun. Here's this guy. Okay. Good morning. Welcome to bathroom talk with Mark. Hmm. (laughs) A guy stole 23 cans of Pepsi. Okay. Got arrested and the judge ended up dismissing the charges. He didn't have enough for a case, but I. So Mark's potentially a fun time also. I think he's writing material for you. Perfect. Right? I like that he laughs at his own jokes. He is like, we all know those types. Yeah. Yeah. So he could give you like, hey, Caitlin, I just have the, you know, the kind of origin of an idea here. What do you think of this? Yeah. No. And then you go, dude, Mark. Thank you. Yeah. Let me write that down. You guys are in the bathroom getting ready in the morning. It's just a possibility. Okay. Yeah. This is the second mark I know now, with no. (laughs) The teeth thing. What's with Mark's and no teeth? I gotta say, I feel like I've always been an advocate of no matter what your financial situation is, get your teeth. And if you're like, I am drowning in debt, I'd be like, get into more for teeth. Worth it. Worth it. More likely to get out of debt with teeth. Thank you. Felt out of debt without me. There are certain things where you go like, no, that's, like, that's a luxury. You do that if you're in a place where you can do that. Yeah. Okay. Like, it's not necessary to get a hair transplant or a nose job or like bigger tip. Like those. But teeth. Teeth, you need teeth. Teeth, you gotta have. You need good chompers. Yeah. They don't have to be the best teeth. No. But there's gotta be something there. They gotta be there. They gotta. You can't have huge gaps. You can't. This is the biggest gap I see inside. And the craziest one is when somebody's like, they have like dental issues, right? Like I got whatever, dead teeth, no teeth. Yeah, yeah. And then they're like, yeah, but I've just got a Corvette and you're like, are you fucking out of your mind? Like, so you spent, you did spend money, but you were like, I have fuck all this. No, I got places to be. Yeah. You're like, nah, dude. You can't. You've got a broken style and then freak people out when I smile. Yeah. It's so alarming when somebody's like, and you're like, oh, fuck, man. That and skin tags on your face get those removed then for all of us. Nobody wants to see that shit. Nobody wants to see your dangling skin tags. You can get skin tags on your face? Yeah. You've never seen someone with that with the one by the eye and you're like, isn't that even in your vision, like, like, sometimes I get an eyebrow hair that comes into my. And I'm like, what the fuck? And I trim that eyebrow hair immediately. These fuckers? Are you not even seeing this? Oh, oh, yes. Okay. Yes, yes. I see them on the neck a lot more. Oh, yeah. But on the eye, I've never seen and boy, that sounds rough. Oh, man. And on the, on the neck, by the way, do that for the rest of us, even if it's not bothering you. How do you get a skin tag? I don't know. I know that you ever have it worth a driver, like you're in the backseat and you're like, you're like, you're fucking up my whole experience back here, man. Two stars. Just, yeah. For your two tags, get it cut. It can't be explained. How expensive is it to get a skin tag removed? Can't you just rip it off? Yeah. I would. I 100%. I did that. I had a ward on my finger. It tore. It tore. Is that weird? Is this why I'm single? You just spit it off. I was in high school. It was a different person. 100 dollars. How fucking, you can freeze it off from 98 to 300 per session. Yeah. You could do that, man. I mean, but, you know, some people don't have 100 dollars. They don't. They don't. But I'm saying, getting debt. Get in debt, dude. Pay 29.9% interest on that. Do it. It is worth it. Get a credit card. It's going to change. I feel like it's going to change how your life goes. Yes. I mean, yeah. The facial skin texture, neck, wear a scarf, you know, until you get out of the red. I just fucking get it. The teeth definitely focus on the teeth. Focus on teeth. Skin tags. You can take a knife or a razor to your skin. I'm sure. You're just rip it off. You're going to bleed. So what? You've never bled before? I say crazy that I bit off my ward. That's kind of crazy. No. You bit it off your finger. Yeah. It was on my middle finger. I just ripped it off. You've never done that? Like, with your teeth. Yeah. I've never done that with a ward. No. What have you done it with? No. I mean, I've, I've, I've bite my fingers too much. Okay. That's bad. Okay. I, I hate that I do that, but I do that. I've never had like a. What if I was like disgusted? It is disgusting. I think it might be better for me to be shamed more about it. Really? Yeah. Because nothing's worked thus far. Okay. I went to a hypnotherapist about it. No. Yeah. You're that concerned about biting your nails? - I don't like it. I feel like-- - You should do, which stopped me from biting my nails, to get acrylics. - I've worn acrylics. - And you still bite your nails? - No, okay. - I was playing a character, I was playing a woman, and that day I was like, well, I'm not biting today. - I mean, paint your nails, put a clear coat, hard gel, that's what I do, I do hard gel. - Okay. - Put hard gel on top. - Did you bite before? - I used to bite, yeah. - Okay. - And then now you can't. - Yeah, there's me with my-- - With my-- - Oh my god. - With my acrylics. - You look great. - Thanks. - They're fun, right? - Well, you know what happened that day? - What? - Was that, I had two days I was supposed to do-- - Sorry, I didn't expect to see this. - No, it's all good. I was supposed to do, they're like, okay, and I don't know anything about nails. - Mm-hmm. - So the one lady in the makeup trailer is like, all right, well, we'll put these on, but, you know, I'm gonna be in it all day, grabbing things so they're like, you know, we need it to stick, but like, you don't want it to be too on there, and I don't think it was passed onto this lady, so they had different glues, and she put what was considered the two-week glue on. So at the end of the day, dude, getting these off, you could hear me screaming from like two trailers away. I was like, I felt like it was gonna rip the entire real nail bed off. It was so fun. It makes you appreciate what ladies go through. - Yeah, we go through a lot. This takes an hour and a half. I get 'em done three, every three weeks, and they cost about 100 bucks. - Yeah, it's a lot. - But I love 'em. - You do love 'em. - I love 'em so much. I don't buy my nails anymore. They're long, my little witch's fingers. - Yeah. - And they make me feel pretty, and I don't feel gross whenever I see a picture of myself holding a microphone. - Oh, and my microphone? - Yeah. There's wild girls out there too, though. - Yeah, that's true. - We have cool guys like this, and then we have wild girls like this. - This is a hit and run, hit and run. Hit my car, double felony. We get out of the vehicle. This is the last chance. - It's your brand, I always say it's already a hit and run. - It's already a hit and run. I already ran. (laughs) - My brand name, my brand name. You really have to say it. - Oh my God. - I thought it was you and I pulled over. - Don't put it in the front. I gotta say, I like her energy, you know? - Oh no, you don't understand. - Is that an old Impala? Is that what that is? Is that like a 96 Impala? Those are so rad. Is it? - That cheese driving? - I mean, I can't really see it. - You need to get out of the vehicle and do what's right. You need to get out of the vehicle. - I have video documentation. - Also, this guy sounds like a nerd. - No, it's not, it's not, no, it's a, it's a Hyundai. (laughs) - Well, it's got the trick out exhaust. - Look at her. - Wow. - You're kidding me, you almost hit me. - She's like, sorry bro. - That exhaust is, wow. - Pretty loud lady. - That's a pretty nice breakdown. - Yeah. - That just happened. - Yeah. - So there's girls out there too, just in case you're interested. - Oh, I mean, I'm in a hard pass on that. - Okay. - You know. - I'm dabbled and it's a hard, no thank you. - Do you dabble like in college? - Yeah, yeah, I did the whole thing. Women are great, but I really can't do a push, push. - Push, push. - Yeah, it's tough. It's tough, no thank you. - You try? - Yeah. Yeah, I know. - You know. - Yeah, yeah, you know. It's tough. - You got to really love pussy. (laughing) - Yeah, I felt the same way about Dix. I'm like, huh. I'm like, I mean, it looks cool. But I just don't, I don't love it. - I don't love it. - Tor her in half. - Tor her in half. I'm like, hey man. Take it easy with that thing. - Even when you said that, I was like, nah, I could probably handle it. - Yeah. - That's the thing is, I think a lot of ladies can. They're like, that's too big. I'm like, you could take it. - Yeah. - You could take it. You don't have a nice warmup, but yeah. - Yeah, warm. I mean, turn the oven on at least. Don't just jam it in there. - If you've been sitting on a business idea, Shopify makes it easy to actually make it happen. Everything you need to start selling is already there from day one. You don't have to go build some custom storefront from scratch and hope to God it works. Having the right support behind you makes a huge difference. Shopify is that support system for so many brands and businesses you know and love here, like ours at YMH, I love Shopify. I use them for my lipstick company. It's so great for me because I can just see in real time what's going on and I'm a mother and I don't have to leave the house. I can just see on my phone what's happening. From the store to checkout to analytics, Shopify houses everything you need to get your business up and running all in one place. They're the brand behind that purple shop pay button that makes it dangerously easy to pull the trigger on your cart. If you're ready to hear the of your first sale today, head over to shopify.com/YMH to start your free trial today. That's right, start your free trial at shopify.com/YMH. That's shopify.com/YMH. - This lady by the way, so she hits this guy. She locks herself in there while a man films, you need to get out of the vehicle, do what's right 'cause he, and she goes, I already ran, right? She's like, it's a hit and run, she's like, yeah, I already ran. So like, what part don't you get? Then she goes, you don't know how mean my grandma is. I'm sorry. So this guy then had his own dash cam and called the police. She drove away, so he went to a police station the next day, showed the officers all the footage, filed a report. They ended up getting a hold of this woman and she was just charged with a misdemeanor. - Okay. - Which I read this story about this. It's not in my right up, but I read about it and she ended up just having to like pay a fine and she had to go to court-ordered substance abuse like program, even though she didn't test. They were just, I guess they just watched this, they're like, you're fucked up. (laughing) - There's no way you're not in it. - Yeah, there's no way. You're sober. - Yeah. - So, yeah, that was all. - Also, I could say, I don't like the guy. He sounded like such a nerd. - He was kind of. - It's a him, a zoom, zoom, zoom. - He's like, do that's right. - You almost hit me. - Do what's right. - Pansy, get it? - You can't tell somebody who's doing what's wrong to do what's right, you know? Like, hey, man, you-- - Clearly, it's a meltdown. - You robbed me. - You robbed me. Do what's right, give it back. He's like, no, I'm a thief. What do you not get about this, man? But do what's right. Like, it's not gonna happen, dude. - I think I said nerd. - He's such a fucking nerd. (laughing) - I'm on her side, keep running. - Here's another guy, just want you to consider. Again, you just let me know. - All right. - We'll reach out. - Thank you. - If I start having a conversation with somebody, if somebody has some retort or some other fucking laptop, start screwing with the conversation and fucking it up and embarrassing the fuck out of me, I'm gonna get his fucking ass. - I warned God. (laughing) - But here's why I want you to consider him. - Okay. - Okay. - What he said was, if I'm having a conversation, so picture you're who he's talking to, he's fully engaged, he's attentive, he's asking you questions, all the things you want, and then somebody with a fucking laptop, which means I guess that's happened to him. (laughing) In her ups, then he's gonna beat that guy's fucking ass. I mean, isn't that kind of what you want? (laughing) - So sure as-- - Yeah. - He's like, don't interrupt me and Caitlin, we're having a good time. - We're having a nice time. You and your laptop are gonna ruin it. - And to think that this bothered him so much that he just posted a video of just this. - Yes. - I feel like it happened maybe that day. - It happened that day, happened maybe 10 minutes ago. I just love the moment between him screaming at the screen and then it'd be like, nah, I gotta stop sitting. - Yeah, yeah, that, there's always that thing of like-- - That's enough, I've done it, where's the button? - It's so interesting now that like, in today's world, like, you know, whatever, 20, 30 years ago, you would just, if you were mad, I don't know, you would just scream, punch a wall, whatever, right? - Yeah. - But now, you can record a video about somebody who enraged you and then you just put that out, but that person never sees it. - No. - But you channel your rage just out into the fucking world. - Your rage journal. - It's a rage journal. And there's so many people who just like, have an experience and then they go with anyone, ever fucking cuts me off. And you're like, okay, I guess you just got cut off and they need it, document it. You got a document that something in like a guy with a lap that's so specific. - I wanna know what the comments were. - Yeah. - Yeah, we fucking hate Carl. - Yeah, you're talking about on 26th Street, where the Starbucks, so he's a consideration. - Okay. - I just want you to continue. - Again, lack of teeth, real tough. - Does he have no teeth? - Take a look. I think there's, there's not, something's going on. - Well? - Something's up. - There's, there's a case that they're just very small teeth. - Okay. (laughing) - It's got a little rabbit teeth. - Are there, no, you're right. - No, I don't think there's much teeth going on. - There's not a lot of teeth. - And you know what, I'll tell you what, I don't have high standards. but I deserve some teeth. - I'm with you on that. - Thank you. - I will die on that hill. Caitlin deserves teeth, everybody. All right, here's another potential suitor for you. - Great. - Single. - Any single girls in the local neighborhood here in Vancouver, and I'm gonna hold you that, I'm single. We're in out of smoke, still bad day. Need some help. When you single women, over there. - It just cut off. - Oh no! - But here's the thing we have, it's gonna attack. - Oh, that's great. Thank you. I am a single woman, not in Vancouver, but I could, I could postmate him some smokes. - You know what you could do? You could go do a show there. - I could. - It's an excuse to. - It's excuse to see the man I need. - Yeah, I'm not. - Yeah, it's always wanted to be a nurse. (laughing) - It's kind of a, okay, all right. - Well, you know. - You know what, I'm gonna hard pass on this guy. Oh, I love the facial hair. - Do you like food? - I love food. Big eater. - Oh, no. He's wearing that man like a crown. - Look, apple pie. - I look, you like apple pie? - I like apple pie. Wow. - Apple pie. - It's got cool ear things. - Look at apple pie. - I hate watching. I hate hearing a man eat. - See, sir? - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. (laughing) - Well, that's the thing is that's why you gotta watch the vids, you gotta know. - You gotta watch it to the end. - Yeah, the red flag, that's where it was. - Can't eat with your mouth open, sir. That's the lesson here, you almost had her. - So close. I don't have a pie with so much in common. - You had so much, you were right there. - Shit. - Okay. - God, and he likes football, come on. - Come on, are you a football fan? - Yeah, I'm 49ers. - You're a 49ers fan? - Yeah, I'm from the Bay, yeah. - I didn't know you were from the Bay. - I'm from San Bruno, which is about 10, 15 minutes south of San Francisco. - So you grew up just die hard 49ers? - Yeah, my dad's a die hard 49ers. So 49ers, San Francisco Giants, those are my two teams. - Man, you had a pretty close run last few, I mean, you almost got one. - Too injured. - I know. - It's the electricity and the training facility. - My first sports heartbreak as a kid was the 49ers beating the bangles in the Super Bowl in 1988. - Yeah. - And that was like the first time you were like, "Wait, this can happen?" - Yeah. - The devastation. But I also, it was weird because at the same time, even though since now he was my team, every kid loved Joe Montana and Joe Rice. - Yeah. - And so you were like, "Well, if you're gonna lose." - Yeah. - To them. - Absolutely, I think that's the Josh Allen. He was the Josh Allen of everybody kind of like, "Is it Josh Allen?" Am I saying that right? Yeah. - I think so. - Yeah, for the bills. - It's a generic white dude name. It's a generic white guy name, yes, yes. - But I feel like he's like the poster boy that everybody kind of loves. He's the new Joe Montana, I feel like. - Look at that. Holds him smile. - I know, he's sweet. He's dating, what's her name? - Haley. - Haley Steinfeld. - Steinfeld? - Thank you. - Yeah. - She's great, she was in pitch perfect too. We love that. - pitch perfect, she was in what's it called? Is that a dick being held? - Hold on. - No, that's a finger. It's crazy. Look at those dick rivers. - That's not somebody jerking around. - That's a baby. That's a baby's hand holding on to her. - But doesn't it kind of look like, I mean, I do wear glasses. I thought it was like, some guy just like, I'm watching sinners. - Yeah, she's so hot. - Oh my God. Yeah, it still looks like a hog to me. - No, that is, I see the acrylic nails. That's a pointy dick. - Okay, all right. - Yeah, there's a ring on it. - You know what, I'll just, I'll trust you. - Okay, all right, take a second. - Believe women. - We know my point of view on this. - But yeah, no, 49er fan, it's been tough, but I had to stop getting into it as much because I get, it would ruin my week. - Would it really? - Yeah. - So you were like, this is what I tell, 'cause you know you meet people, men, but usually women who are like, yeah, sports, I don't get into sports. - Yeah. - And I'm like, some of them are like, yeah, I'll watch a game. My thing is like, if you can't do this for every game, but if you don't emotionally invest to some degree, then who cares? - It's not fun, yeah. - Right? Like it's like a movie, if you're like, I don't care about any of the characters, then you're like, well, yeah, then who give, you're like, well, that movie was, you have to invest, right? So with sports, it's like, obviously like not, some games you just go, I'm just watching this game. But if you never invest, you never get the payoff of what it is to be a fan. You need to feel the despair of loss in order to feel the thrill of victory. - Yeah, I think that's what's kind of where the Savannah bananas. - Yes. - They make it fun for everyone. - Fun for everybody, but there's no heartbreak. - There's no, yeah. - You gotta have a little heartbreak. - It's like, they lost, but they did these cool flips. - Yeah. (laughing) - You're like, yeah, that's great. - Yeah. - No, I need, I need a little like, come on. - Yeah. - I need a little bit of that, but now I'm like, but it's okay. - It's okay. - And you're also a Giants fan. - Yeah, yeah, and that one's really tough. - Yeah. - Yeah, and that one's been a bummer this year. - Did you grow up like bonds obsessed? - Yeah, my dad went to one of his games when he hit, I think he hit 500. He was at that game. - Wow. - Yeah, it's huge Giants fans. Yeah. - That's cool. - Very cool. - I don't know if you've been like, privy to, like the information of when a super famous person decides to join social media. - Yeah, okay. - They sometimes just don't know how to be human. (laughing) So like. - Please don't leave me. - The original for that is definitely when Garth Brooks joined social media. - Oh boy. - You saw his famous, I'm joining Facebook. It was just-- - No, I didn't see that. - You didn't see it. This was like a decade ago. It was one of the weirdest things ever, okay? - Yeah, I'm joining Facebook. - He was just like, you were just like, "Huh?" Like, he was like, it's, I guess I'm just gonna be raw on this and like, so neat. Like it was just like a robot. But then M Night Shyamalan, the director. - Okay. - Who'd made, he's made, whatever. - Signs, yeah. - Signs and what is the original one? The first one was-- - Six cents, yes. - Blit. - So he's made all these movies. He decides to join YouTube. But like, he's like, I'm on YouTube. It's like, it's so weird. - Why YouTube? I don't, let's watch this. - I'm M Night Shyamalan. - Oh. - God. - I'm a filmmaker, make movies for a living. - Mm-hmm. - And this is my YouTube channel. What I hope it is is an opportunity to reflect and get to know each other, deepen the relationship. That's probably the main thing I think of in a way that feels that I'm scared, and when I'm scared, I usually feels like I'm doing something right, growing. The messiness of it all, and permission to be not great. Both for you guys and for me, and to, you know, it's like 30 years making movies, and I wanna undo it a little bit, you know, undo whatever stigma is there in my head, or in anybody's head. And so, maybe a reflective part of my life, and so maybe this is a part of that. - I would have turned this off a minute ago. - Something about it feels right. - And what you'd watch that whole thing. - As long as I don't feel like I'm breaking anything that's important to me here. Then I'm okay with it. By the way, this is my little bench that I come to think on. Actually, my office gave me this as a present here under my tree. That's my office in there, actually. So I come out here to kind of stop talking. - When I'm not feeling great, which is often, and now there's me that we planted for my dad who passed away this year, so I get to look at that. And one day, that'll be a big treat. So, I don't know how this is gonna be. I don't know what I'm gonna show you, and what you're gonna show me, but the joy of it is stepping into the unknown. And so we'll do that together, so. - Okay. - I hope you enjoy it, I hope you stay with me. - Well, I'll tell you this, man. Do you not see the irony in being a director and not knowing that that was a bad take? (laughing) That that's when you say, "Hey, fucking, take two." - Yeah. - Like, what the? - What? - Do this again, buddy. - Yeah. - This is the most cringe, and then the pan over to the sad tree. - This is my bench. (laughing) - This is my bench where I think, and I'm usually not feeling-- - Yes. - I'm usually not feeling good about much. - Are our guys socks with ripped layers? - Are you winning for Congress? Are you the cool congressional candidate? Who's like, "I have to wear a tie, but I wear jeans too." So, I'm accessible. - This is my office. - That was so uncomfortable. - That was one of the weirdest things, Congratulations on being the one of the weirdest fucking Introductions to social media you don't top Garth, but that was super uncomfortable Oh, and I think most people would watch that and go, "God, please don't ever do that again." Never like just know that the rest of your videos because I do hope you actually have a good channel And I think you know, he's a really interesting Filmmaker and and he's made great movies and and it's cool that he's Deciding to engage the audience, but that was so uncomfortable Awful stay behind the camera buddy. Oh my goodness. You're not ugly, but you're not you're not a natural All right, you want though. You want the OG weirdest one. Yeah, this is the this is when Garth joined Facebook Yeah, okay, so I can't wait so not not as long but weird as fuck. What was the name of his alter ego? Chris Gaines. Yeah Here's okay. Here we go Well, I guess it's official. We're now on Facebook. I really wasn't sure about this at the start But then a friend of mine said something that just made all kinds of sense. She said think about more as a conversation I like that. Oh, right. I'm already finding out on my own So it's wiping the walls out between you and me and I really like that It allows us into each other's worlds or I guess in my case Hotel room I think about things I want to post. I want to post cool stuff slick stuff But most of the stuff I'm gonna post is gonna be raw stuff like this This is just who I am So if this is truly a conversation Then I say let the conversation Is that not the best that's 10 times better than M9 shop. I know. I know. That was way more fun Slick stuff. I want to see some slick stuff and the vocal. He just he would drop a regiment. He like I like that So you're like oh great, but both of them feel like they don't understand don't know what's happening What's happening? They're very out of touch like literally someone was like you have you tried the Facebook and he was like what? Yeah, like people talk there. You should he was like, okay. I'll do my first post Yeah, and then you have a conversation. Well, let's make this a conversation M night Look like he was just like going through it that day and was like roll. This will be good It's like what the fuck man? He's scratching his back People are like I want to know how you wrote that script. What is this shit? What the fuck man? Oh very awkward. Really weirding us out dude. Yeah, weirding us out and just fidgety and just too far away And also like as comedians we cannot take this level of sincerity. No, it's too much But it's like scripted sincerity. Yeah, it's like I should be saying this. Yeah And then he's like if it scares me. That's good. That's crazy. Yeah Why is YouTube scaring you? I don't know. He's gonna open up and tell us all his deepest darkest fears. Yeah I can't wait to see him turns out it's not even him. It's a ghost All I feel like his your page should be like you know what it takes me a long time to like make an idea come to life Mm-hmm like today and then you show us that you wrote down idea you don't have to give them away But you're like you're like this is like how and then I fuck I get frustrated like shows how you make movies Yeah, that's what we want to know. Yeah, you come up with these like mind-bending twists. Yeah, that'd be cool I don't want to fucking be like oh shit. Are we gonna look at the treat today? Is this a journal? That was sad We had the angry journal the rage journal and now we have the sad dad I feel like one of his kids is gonna be like did you just fucking post that like dad? Let me tell you what how you're supposed to do this It's not like that it's embarrassing Okay, we have a segment we call horrible or hilarious. Okay, so I will show you I can take they even have it That wasn't it. No, I know that was horrible one was horrible one was hilarious I forgot this was you So I play you a video okay, it's either oh my god, that was really horrible or you tell me it's funny. Okay great It's up to you. You're the only person I'm the only one. That's I oh my gosh. I love this singular opinion. It's just you. Okay Oh Oh my god You're white You good need the ambulance He's clearly not dead he's not dead so it's always help yeah it was That's one of the best ones I've ever seen. Oh, I cannot believe there's so much perfection to this video when he's like in his little scoot scoot and He starts to creep and they're like what are you doing? They're like wait wait wait wait what are you doing and then the slow teeter off and the fall and it's just quiet and then he's like Like he laughs and Then this guy's just like you guys happy is like he did it for them You want to see an old man eat shit? I mean What and the kids accent is adorable it is Right so like they're like the dead dead dead dead they know this is a bad idea and then this goes really slowly He knows the lab Need the ambulance he knows he knows what to ask you good, but he kept filming we did good this kid's going places. I'm telling you right now That's hilarious honestly guys. That is the that is the sweet spot right there That was falling is better than anything I could ever write. It's always great. It's so funny I like to hear screams. I've learned I love a good scream of pain and agony, but I don't want to see Gore I learned that no no no I like yeah, I like a physical trauma that doesn't kill them and that Doesn't result in a life-threatening injury. No hospital. Yeah, no hospitals just scream like you should be in one But I don't want you to go. Yeah, yeah a little false alarm scream. Yeah, that's good for me. I like that. Yeah Okay Oh my god Is he pop up? Look at him. He's okay That woke everybody yeah, everyone holy fuck it's a not as not as hilarious as the last one He's sped through the intersection which we saw A passenger says we wrecked the car and the driver says at least it didn't end his life He crossed a red light. So it's his fault. This was in Columbia. Okay Holy fuck that was That was so fast. That was so fast. I cannot believe he popped up. I mean he didn't pop. Well, that's true He kind of staggered and scooted off the the bus But yeah, no, I think this is horrible. I didn't laugh And if someone was sitting there, they'd be dead. Yeah, he'd be fine It would have I think he would be less hurt. Yeah, the person was there and also we should note that in thing in these types of accidents A lot of times the adrenaline will help you get up and then you'll die. Yeah, so he could be dead He could be dead. He could be dead. Can there I guess and we don't know yeah, that might just be a piece of metal That was inside him a moment Yeah, I would say this is horrible. I'm still laughing at the old man. Yeah, I know that one is just it's so perfect It was so good. Oh my god. No, this one this one kind of this guy stinks He could have really heard someone any speeding and a break in rules. Yeah, speeding through an intersection You can kill a bunch of people what you think was gonna happen. Yep, you're a real knucklehead. Yeah, I don't care for you Yep, I hope you have fallen to a Caitlin voted horrible you sir are horrible. Yeah Holy shit, did you see that? Oh Lightning he got hit by lightning that guy. Yeah, he just got hit by lightning Just walking it off like a badass. Oh my god Don't apologize. Oh my god, dude That was he spent one night in the hospital with zero burns doctors We're in complete astonishment. He was back at work within days It was luck not luck blessed. He said he went to church that day. Well, yeah, he got struck by fucking lightning Yeah, and he was walking out of way from it He oh, so this was lightning hits him and he's that's a neighbor's house Day and he says can I come in please while apologizing? That's why he's because it's not even his house What a sweet man. Holy cow. Oh my god. That and that sucks It's tree right next to it. - Yeah. - Oh my God. - Good. - Fuck, man. - Can I come in please? - Sure, yeah. - Oh, that's what he said, can I come in? - Are you okay? I'm going in here. - That'd be great. She was like, no. - You sit on the porch. - I don't get you a towel. - Fuckin' no, you, no. - I got hit. - I got hit. - Please. - Stranger danger. - Yeah, I don't think so. Take a fucking walk, Pat. - Yeah, I don't want the lightning to come in, so that you just stay out. - Yeah, you stay out. - That is crazy 'cause it was like three. - Kaka, kaka. - That was, yeah. That was-- - I know someone that died. That was really my way. - Die? - Yeah. - Oh, no. - I know, it was really terrible. And she got struck in an open field. - Oh, fuck. - Going a storm and died. - Yeah. - This guy should be pissed. Look at how many high things are all around him. - Oh, I know. - He got picked out. - He picked me. - Jesus. - Oh, no, man. - Now, you are hashtag blessed. - You have to feel like your life has more meaning after something like that. - Yeah, when you get struck by lightning and you'd walk it off. - That's-- - After coming from church, that guy's like, "I am Jesus." - Yeah, he comes back just with such an ego. - Yeah. He's in the front row of the pew. You want me to take it from here? - I piss fucking lightning on you guys. Come check this out. - I was chosen. - Yeah. - Fuckin' on the ring. - That's why the ring camera was on. - Oh my God. - That's crazy. - That's crazy. - I would say horrible. - It was pretty horrible. - Yeah, not horrible. Again, guys. Not good. - No. - Not great. - Oh. - I see how I gave them so much credit on that first one. - Yeah. - They're just takin' us down to dark, dark. - Bummer. Oh, they're picking them. You don't even see them. - Yeah, I don't see them until they're stuck. - Oh, okay. - Yeah. - All right. Pick it up. - Wait for the next one. - Mama wants to laugh. - Okay. Let's have a giggle. Okay, here we go. Here we go. Okay. So far. - What is that, a bike? - Yeah, I think he's on it. - Oh no. Oh no. - That's a pretty far. - Oh my God, they're not wearing. Oh. - Oh no. (laughing) - Caitlin likes it, guys. You did it. You found her. - He still got it. - She said she likes when people fall. Oh no. - He can't be okay. - He was. - He can not be. - Sorry. - Holy shit. - 'Cause he thought he had it like three times. - Yeah. - He's like, "Now I'm fine." - I'm good. (laughing) This was a. - Oh my God. - What was this? (laughing) - I mean, you don't have to tell us your vote. We know, it's hilarious. - I hope he's okay. - He's died. - No, he didn't. - No, he's okay. He's okay. - He's okay. (laughing) - Yeah. - He's okay. - I can watch people fall for hours. - Oh, the consensus online was that the last four roles were for the camera. - No. - Yeah. - That like he didn't need to roll anymore, but he was just like, I'll just do a couple more for me. (laughing) - I think that was, yeah. - Yeah. - He's like. - That last one was a little exaggerated. - Well, it's been 30 rolls. - Yeah, the first 35, a little. Totally warranted. 37, stop being neutral. - If you are listening only, this man took a dirt bike up a very steep hill. And tumbled all the way down. And literally it feels like he did like 30 plus flips. - Yeah, the comical. Oh, Nick keeps going. - He's going. - He is wearing head protection, right? I do. - I think it's a helmet. - Okay. - I thought he was wearing like a full one. - I thought that lady was getting jerked off on the pitch. So I don't, I have to ask. (laughing) I thought somebody was jerking the day. - You did. It's clearly a baby holding a finger. And he's like, I'm getting old. - Still cramped. - I still have my doubts. Okay. - All right, last one here. Let's see if this makes us laugh. - Okay. - Or makes us win. Here we go. (upbeat music) - Oh, no. (audience laughing) (audience laughing) (audience laughing) (audience laughing) (audience laughing) (audience laughing) - How is she laughing this hard? (audience laughing) How is Kate laughing this hard? - It's horrible. (audience laughing) - Horrible. I don't think I've seen you laugh this hard. - I'm just the hurt in his eyes when he looked at her. How could you do this to me? - How could you break my arm? - We all knew it was happening and I knew it was coming and I was like, please God, no, please God, no. And then you hear it. - I love this. - And then everyone just, oh no. And they try and hold it and he looks up and he goes, why? - Why, why'd you push it more? - Why'd you do that? - Oh my god. - And she's holding his shield. - Can I tell you this is like-- - He's wearing a top hat. (audience laughing) - Yeah, I only paid attention to the arms. You're right. He's sitting on a cow hide. (laughing) Look the shield down it. And is that fake cobweb? Up atop there? - Thing is real. - Oh fuck. And you helped break my arm. Like I may not have had it broken and then your little extra push, I think is what did it. - Just the silence and then the stare. Like looking at her, you did this. This scrawny fuck never would have done to me. Oh my god. Okay, that's hilarious. I'm sorry. - No, you vote, dude. This is no love here. (laughing) This isn't in the category anymore but I just thought you might enjoy this. - No, I'm just not. - Imagine you're just alone. - And your horse gets out and gets on your desk. (laughing) All right, and you're like, hey. - I love you. - Get the fuck out of there. - No horse back. - Just ruins your fucking office. You're like, people come in like, what the fuck happened in here? You're like, my horse fucking came in here and just trampled everything and they're like, okay. - Yeah, like sure. - Sure, man. - Yeah, no, your horse came in. We get it. - Yeah, your horse. - Are you drinking again? - Yeah, exactly. You're fucking booze bag. - Yeah. - Oh, that is a good one. That's hilarious. - Yes, see? - Yeah. - That was great. - Yeah, nice little palette cleanser. - Just so to recap, you found an old man tumbling off of a scoot scoot to be very funny. You did not think a bus, a motorcycle flying through an exercise was funny. You did not think lightning strike was funny. You thought a man tumbling down a mountain was funny. And you really laughed super hard when you saw a man's arm get snapped at a restaurant. At one of those, what are they called? The fucking. - It was like a beer hall. Didn't Irish pub come out? - No, but when people, like-- - Oh, larping. When they, you know, when they usually had like, they're like, hold the fucking turkey leg and everyone, that's what it feels like. - Renaissance fan. - Yeah, like a wrenching thing. - Those were, yeah. - That's where I got the top hat. - Yeah. - The top hat, the page boy hat, the woman in the maiden outfit with the shield. - It's the first thing he does when the paramedic comes, he just goes, like takes, he just takes it, puts it to the side and he's like, I realize it's not time for that. - Yeah. (laughing) - Renfair is done. - It's over now. - I am no longer Timothy, I am only Tim. - I'm just, you just call me Tim, please. - Yeah. - Oh my God. - God, yeah, no, that was funny. I am what I am. - That was great. - I like it, I like it personally. - Do you like it? - It's like when it's struck by lightning. - This next guy, we also have contact information for it. You just tell us whether you're open. - Okay. - Also, by the way, you gotta be open, right? - I live my life open. - Okay. - Okay, I'm gonna explain today how GPS actually works. - Okay. - As you know, we live on a flat earth. So putting satellites in orbit is just not possible. So what they do is-- - Okay. - Okay. - It kind of cuts off there, but you get the idea. - No, no, he can't know. - So he acts as me. - He's all thumbs. - Yeah, he hit the button on accident. But-- - And still posted it. - He did, I like that. - He still was like, you know what? There's enough here to engage the audience. They're gonna follow me because they're curious. - Yeah. - Yeah. I like that he is a, taking initiative. - I like it, yep. - B, he's good at crafts, created a cool hat, and then see he's trying to inform, he's trying to teach. He's trying to, I mean, let us know that the earth is flat. - Yeah, it's like, yeah, I'm trying to look at it. There's any flat earthers on the wall here, I don't know. - Who are these people? - These are just cool guys. - Okay, cool. I think Bucket hats more of a flat earther over here. - Yeah, that's Robert Paul Champagne, yeah. He's a pretty cool guy. - So they all have names? - Most of them do, like, this guy, again, I'll show you a few to you and you can just tell me if any of them are of interest here. - Is that guy Ben Bailey? - No, that guy is blind. - Okay. - And he likes when people record their diarrhea. - Wow. - Yeah. - Pretty cool guy. - Pretty cool. - Pretty cool. - Okay. - Okay, I've been on here, I've been polite, I've been kind, I've been honest, this is serious. - Good. - Now, I'd like to have some right on my lips. I would like to have some titties around my face. would like to have some sex. Yeah, I'd like to have a woman in my home. I can make a love too. I'm not like one of these young men or these little boys. They get themselves off and then oops, they don't care about their partner. Oh my god. Last lady, 10, 15 times before I even went boom once. So anyway, what a guy. Yeah, right. And you know what I like about him is that he's very direct. There's no mystery. What's not to like about this? Right. He's watching the news. He's telling you about what a great lover he is. Calls it go boom. Go boom. I want boom once. Yeah. I like him. I like he is. And I think I made this exact video last week. Get it on Bumble. Got flagged immediately. Yeah, I'll make you come. I'll make you come. I don't think it's a crazy thing to say in a video. And so close. Yeah. It's crazy. And that'd be my ringtone. Every time I get a text message, I'll make you come. And they're like, excuse me. Yeah. Yeah. Some guys are really direct. You learn that. Why is it so close to the face? The last all things. Everyone over 50. This is a great observation. It's also the mark of a very cool guy. A very cool guy. Yeah, you're right. They go close. They go poor lighting. Yes. They sometimes go underneath. Yes. Which is never a flattering angle for anyone. The more chance the better. Yes. Yeah. More is more. More is more. Here we go. Here is a different again. Very direct. Okay. I'll make this video. Oh my. My name is John. Why are you shibmin? Oh, I'm looking for girls for pussy. I love deep pussy. If you're going to thank guys, you're looking for some action. You live in Missouri. Oh, the whole state. Call me at one five seven. No. text me at one six three. Yeah. Two different different numbers. Once for pussy texts and minus for calls. Good. You got options. However, you prefer your communications to be open. This is how we do it. I want to again, restate all of these are available for you. These are not. You do not have to just pick one. You can, you know, we will put together a PDF deck for you so you can reference. Okay. Thank you. Yeah. A PDF deck. You know, a deck like a document that has everyone's in there. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Got it. So yeah, there's different, you know, I don't know what you're. No, I'm going for the no tooth. Mark. I believe his name was all your beautiful women. Yeah. Just let me eat you. One term. Just let me eat you. One term. And you're going to guarantee you, you're going to ask me to stay to your house. You go, you're going to sleep for three days, my being. Yeah. Good right. I don't have the time economy to hook up with this guy. No, sleep for three days. That's how good he is. I mean, yeah, he's going to he does it. He's also missing teeth. I love it. Yeah. So yeah, you can really whistle through that. Now I feel like him and Pepsi guy are in a side by side race, you know. Yeah. I mean, I feel like Pepsi guy just he made it. He made me laugh. Yes. Yeah. He made a joke. Yeah. And he laughed. It was very endearing. It's endearing. That's what I'm with y'all hundred percent. Okay. With that ball. I'm going to show you. I'm going to make your cry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mickey's making you laugh too. He's coming back. He's coming back. Do you know what? I'll just let him say it to you. Okay. Hey, how y'all doing, baby girl? You got that apple. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm feeling it. Look here. Yo, miss that ball. Huh? Well, guess what? I'm coming at y'all fairly. It doesn't matter if you got a big booty or a flat booty. I'm coming to get that booty. Yeah. Okay. And let me play with that new new. Yeah. What's it? You know. And I want your feet too. Oh, no. Yeah. Look. I want to dig in your booty. He wants to dig in your booty. Oh, that's some good, good. Y'all know what's a banana split? Do you know what a banana split is? Well, we're going to use your booty. I'm going to hit the, I got it. I got to break it in his name. You understand? And put some corn chips. Make it a corn chips. Yeah. Yeah. I'm saying and put some for corn. I don't want to say too much, but I feel like I can see that you're in love. I feel like I can see it. You saw the. I saw your eyes kind of jump out. I'm like, what would corn chips in my ass feel like? Or do you want? Do you want somebody devoted? Like lovingly to you. Okay. That leaves you messages in the morning. You know what I mean? Like you wake up. No. I want something to dig in that ass. I want to Julia. Oh, Joe. Just wanted to say hi. Wish you a great day. Tell you that meeting you yesterday and getting a look at you was probably one of the greatest moments of my life. You were so beautiful. You don't know how beautiful you are to me. I mean, just, you're gorgeous. You're precious. But it's been sitting in my mind when you said to me you want to go back with your ex-boyfriend. Please erase him from your memory. Don't ever go back in the past. I know because I've been there and I understand when you know you're trying to find somebody and you go on dates and not the compares to your ex. But there is that better person out there. And Julia, I promise you it is me. Open up your heart to me and your arms. Two takes. Two takes. It's a full throttle. No. They could see me falling in love with you. Stop it. They just, I don't know. I just looked in your eyes and I just melt. This man's going to wear your skin, Julia. I'm heading off to work. This is my cute little home. Everything you see behind me. I built everything. Every square wrench from crown mold into chair rail to floors to lighting to plumbing doors windows. So this is the type of guy you get. I'm a very handy guy and I'd love to build you whatever you want. You're a sweetheart. So I hope this video doesn't scare you. Yeah. That's how I feel. I just want you to know that. All right. Scared everyone. It's time, Caitlin. Who do you choose? We gave you 10 eligible bachelors and they're all ready and they're all actually in the next room. If you want to go ahead and just come on in boys. Let me look at you. Let me now. When this is a great game show, we still just have a single girl and 10 fucking lunatics. You don't actually have to go out with them, but it would be fun to watch them for you. One of our super cool guys we just found out is getting out of jail soon and he gave us an update. Yeah. His name is Tony Johns. He is the guy in this photo right here. Okay. Wow. Look at that. Yep. He's getting out of jail. What did he go to jail for? I think domestic violence. Fun. Fun one. He's done. He's done a lot of we've featured him a lot on this show. And I'm trying to think like here's one time, I guess. Oh, just got out. Baby. Salt Lake County. Let's go. Woo. We off out of here. It's the weekend. Maybe let's get it. A Salt Lake County baby. You know, he does. You know, like that. I'm like break up so hard. Don't get me wrong. Ladies, ladies and gents, play boys and play girls. Breakups are hard. But you gotta realize, you know, he's done a bunch of those. Okay. Charisma is dripping. He's got so much charisma. Yeah. I just want to say that as the reason why I'm wearing this fucking yellow fucking weird thing. My ass is going to be doing community service for the state of Utah. Woo. I got a DUI baby. Oh, DUI. Yeah. We can have some fun. That was so that's an older one. Okay. So the current update I think is from jail. Okay. And for our long time listeners, of course, you're you're wondering what's up with Tony's aunt. Well, here you go. Hey, it was going on. Everybody. The latest man here at the Cougar County Jellhouse out here in Auburn, New York. Just wanted to let everybody know I'm doing fine. I've made history, folks. I'm in here still on a domestic violence. Oh no. I've had it dropped from a felony to a misdemeanor. Good. And I will be leaving jail. No papers. And I will be coming home next year on the 27th February 27th. I just want to say, you know, I appreciate all the love about a support. Please guys keep the donations coming. And I just want to let you know I cannot wait to get out. I'm the first dude to do it. I got my drink. He's drinking here. I will be. There's a couple of things I got questions about Zolo. He says I'm making history and I'll be the first guy to do it. What is he referring to getting out of jail? Yeah. Yeah. His sentence got shortened. And I don't think he knows what that's ever happened before. So he's like so likable. That's what he thinks. First guy. I ever to have their sentence shortened. - Yep, wow. - Wow. - Wow, what would it be like to live in that mind? If I had an ounce of that, like, I'm specialness, boy. - Well, there's more than that going on in that mind. (laughing) I don't think you'd be doing stand up. - No, no, no, no, I do think you might be in some sort of facility. - Yeah, yeah. - I would be, no, not great. - Let me ask you this, tell me. - What are the guys that you saw, these fantastic potential suitors? - Got it. - If you did have to go on a date with one. That's, you know, there's, there's safety is there. Like, you have-- - I'll have a bodyguard? - Yeah, there's an armed guard. - Right. - Okay. - Who would you go, like, you know what? I'll have a, I'll have a meal with this person. Who would you go out with? - I would go out, I was, you know what? I think it would be a date to remember if I went out with the flat earther. - Wow. - And he gave us so little, but you're just intrigued. - I want to know, give me the facts. He's wearing that, the stories are gonna be great. - He's wearing a tinfoil hat. - So he knows he's self-aware. - He's self-aware, he has the facts. - Yeah. - Quarant, quote. And as long as I have a bodyguard right behind me, I would like to have a meal with that man and be like, go. - Go for it, go for it, tell me everything. That would be great. - If one thing about the-- - Or the grandpa that fell into the fucking pool. - He wasn't even on the-- - Oh, put 'em on the list. - 'Cause you know what, he's willing to do anything to make you laugh. - Yeah. - He's like, would it be crazy if I jumped off this stairwell? And you're like, yeah. He's like, will you laugh if I fall? - I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. - But okay. - Laugh, and then be like, I do call an amulet. - No. I do love that flat earthers is like, as soon as they're explained the scientific evidence of how that isn't true, they just go, yeah, okay. You believe that. And you're like, what else do we have? There's nothing else to do. It's kind of, it's that quality you're talking about. The Tony has of like-- - Yeah, it's like, there's no change in your mind. So I may as well sit here and just try and do a little research. - Yeah. - Teach me. - I think you might be the why you are this. - You made a good choice because I think you're ultimately gonna be super entertained, which is like-- - Exactly. - If you're not, you know. - I had to do a two or three hour car ride with someone who believes in aliens. And that was honestly the best. I'm just going, and he's just telling me about the grays. And I'm like, yeah, tell me. And then I ask questions 'cause I wanna know. - Yeah. - It's fascinating. - Yeah, I lived with someone like that. That's pretty crazy. - We might be talking about the same person in his time. - Yeah, Christina? - Okay. - Okay, I didn't know. - I don't know. - Mine was Dan St. Germain. - Really? He's big into that? - Yeah. And he talks about it, I think. Yeah, he's pretty open about it. He'll talk to you about it. - Interesting. - But, yeah. And he's got a lot of research. He talks to me about it. - Hey, they're out there, man. - I think, I believe in aliens. - Yeah. - I don't know that they're living in our ocean. But-- - You know what? I heard the ocean theory. And to me, it's actually the most intriguing of the alien theories. And the reason why is we're always just like, oh, that's looking up there. They're coming from space, they're visiting. But then there's like footage of things, but it's never that great. And you know, you feel like more should be happening if they're visiting from the sky. But like something like 90 plus percent of our oceans are unexplored. - Yeah. - And so the idea, at least conceptually, of alien life being here in the water and coming out, is actually kind of plausible. And so it became, I think it's one of the more fun theories of alien life. - Well, Dan, you should call Dan. - All right, I'm in Dan. - Because he had, I mean, he had so much information. - Yeah. - But it would, it makes sense. - Does he think Earth's flat? - No. - No, he does not. - All right. - No, no, no, no, no. It's all very, he's-- - Yeah, once you start with that, nothing else. - He's anchored in reality. - Okay, good. - Okay, he's anchored in reality and has a lot of information about aliens. - That's great. - It was fun. It was a, I genuinely enjoyed our car ride because I was like, I've never heard this before. - Yeah, tell me some shit, tell me. - Yeah. - I'm curious. - Entertain me. - Yeah, and he did. He did a great job. - Good for, all right. Well, there you have it. Listen, you can see Caitlin on tour. Go to katelandplufo.com for tickets. Where's that available? - YouTube. - On YouTube. On this, after this current tour, will you shoot another special? - Yeah, I, that's the goal. - Okay. - I have a new hour on now that I'm touring with. - Great. - So I'm trying to get that in tip-top shape and then we're gonna see what we wanna do with it. - That's awesome. - Yeah. - It was a pleasure to watch you perform. It's fun to hang out with you. Thank you for coming in. - Thank you for having me. This was so fun. - This was so fun. - You're hilarious. - Jenni and Lafse. - Go, go see Caitlin on tour. Go see her when she comes to your town. Thank you for watching, listening. We'll see you next week. - Hi. - Good morning, Julia. It's me, Joe. Good morning, Julia. It's me, Joe. Nah. I hope this video doesn't scare you. Good morning, Julia. Meet, Joe. (upbeat music) Good morning, Julia. Meet, Joe. I will love you like you've never been loved before. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - Sit down my mind. When you said to me, you wanna go back with your ex-boyfriend. After you experienced me, you wouldn't even know who your ex-boyfriend is. (upbeat music) Please, erase them from your memory. (upbeat music) I could see me falling in love with you. (upbeat music) Let's go full throttle. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - Full, full, broadle. (upbeat music) - Ciao, baby. (laughing) (audience applauding) (audience applauding)