Convidada #11: Cliente Karoliny "“Desde que a Mariana nasceu eu achava que ela tinha algum problema, porque ou estava no peito agarrada ou estava chorando, ela não dormia”

Me agitua teillä annamme kaikille tuotteille me 7 vuoden takuun. Sinä ajassa ehtiin juoda töissä jopa viisi tuhatta kupillista kahvia. Tai ajat rukilla neljä kertaa maailman emperi. Jokas vattaa bonsai puntoimistalla. Agitua teiltä saat kalusteet koko työpaikalle aina 7 vuoden takuulla. Katsollisää, agitua te etpistäfi. Agatus johtajuudesta anti-kirromasta. Emme uskalla tehdä asioita, koska ne ovat vaikeita. Mutta ne ovat vaikeita, koska ei me uskalla teidän niitä. Historiasen osoittaa. Hyväälle johtaminen on hyvä johtamista. Ole hyvä. Ja Anna työyhteisellisi hoesellä työmat kaitu osana palkkaa. Silloin seimmaksessin oli juuri muuta kuin viitsimistä, mutta työntekijöille se on merkittävä säästä joka kuukausi. Ole hyvä. Toivo hoesell. Tapahtui pää kerrannetää pismisti, optimisti ja sanetisti suunnittelivat tapasiltaa. Ja niin hän sillä kävi, että saladisti onnisteli. Saladisti onnistu, salen! Täällä on tullut kylä, että onnistelijöistä, ja se onnistelijöistä, että onnistelijöistä, ja se onnistelijöistä. Se onnistelijöistä, että onnistelijöistä, että onnistelijöistä, että onnistelijöistä, että onnistelijöistä, että onnistelijöistä, ja se onnistelijöistä, että onnistelijöistä, että onnistelijöistä, että onnistelijöistä, että onnistelijöistä, että onnistelijöistä, ja se onnistelijöistä, että se onnistelijöistä, että se onnistelijöistä, että se onnistelijöistä, ja se onnistelijöistä, että se onnistelijöistä, että se onnistelijöistä, että se onnistelijöistä, ja se onnistelijöistä, mutta se onnistelijöistä, mutta se onnistelijöistä, Eli Shay summar sicherủi nyt saikeasiай frustrating! Ja touches on parול feist寶 Räällä colai, se glitteri ovat aika p聊no! Mutta makanen sisillistä on yhdelti, pitää tännetä kats Municha! Ja koska desenerBl 아무 ain't oon pattain ososuihtia tai täällä hienoja! Onivamista시i! olisoustamme kysiksi súper euros. Uut goit, nyt ohjelМiπο stretcha tai se on k�seäräistä seuraava äireitudin villeu. Poi loosenko tämä touhem allisesi lähenovuudestaolman näille. Sivityylä, ja e Hinterkk mostolla fixี่ta ihmiseen. eday! Oli noin, on katsomaa. On lajbi! No tässäpä on. Motonetti järkipäiviltä motoksiarrumpuhritus prei. Kantaasien kalet kolme kappaleta yhdessä nysin ysi. Motonet järkevä ihmisen tavarantalo. Motonet! Lue lisää, yhä itsepistä fikkautta turvallinen asuntokauppa. Oli katsomaa. Oli katsomaa. Oli katsomaa. Oli katsomaa. Vamit. podcastaa. Mukamマ roomsie Thompson DW VO ounced Ollie Sherwood Massimo Tommy Olet itook Mox Dr Jo och Cha Geni Hidit barbarist gurits visilot Na ya ham gam Gall Krill Fa Sa Criss Amal quarantine Hyvin Grいます Tai Rhm Troup DI , sou Troup Tää on tullut hankan. Tää on tullut hankan. Just ederti täämetän ja nyt kulemme ketumiset. Puhossa. Limitunut! Kun periiit us14 että ne on mainit Jews. Täällä ei ole enjoyablei, mutta ei tule olevelut��. Ainut täytyy au.! Biannot voin täytyy ain 거야, maista p訴ani nostavoa. Täällä ei ole 166.6, 166. Ja mä olen amerikan määrän. - Ja mä olen eri matko. Mä olen albaaminen. I'm here for justice in my brown brown albeir coke my utility bill and my (laughter) (laughter) Lately I've been going through a bit of copyright litigation so it's owl slash bear slash man right now (laughter) Bearman's owl and aquarium which feels that I am a negative icon towards their business (laughter) I haven't had the money to repair Triple threat I am the knight The knight is free (laughter) Oh no, we got the slaughter (laughter) Sweetie, sweetie, sweetie I'm fair and breed (cheering) Thank you very much I'm a monk with pink hair and flowing robes and I might lose this voice in a few minutes just go back to normal No, just not, I'm going to be fair and breed the whole time So far so good Thanks, sounds great Just remember, Prido, we're doing it Prido, you're doing it Should've put money on that I take a wax cylinder and I slap it down and I start cranking the head Introducing Hazel Copper Pot The inventor of the Copper Pot 3000 Miraculous one-man band machine Or some may say one-dolph machine That's right that is the legendary Hazel Copper Pot Coming to you live From somewhere in Alexandria (clapping) Terri and continues Very well, your mission The hubris is a brand new ultra luxury skyship Set to depart on her maiden voyage across the empire She's the largest most modern expensive craft ever to sail the skies And will carry dozens of the continents most famous and powerful celebrities and dignitaries A wonderful who's who of wild mount? The alliteration, though clever, makes Terri throw up a little bit Terri and Swoon's Doty catches him The vessel owner, wealthy investor, Balfas, are Flair Mont Hired the brigade to protect the voyage and its VIP passengers, why? Because Flair Mont knows where the most reliable heroes in wild mount The truth is, Flair Mont had hired the daring to brigade for publicity He wants Terri and to publish a fantastic first hand account of the journey to drive up sales of future voyages But alas! Your fearless leader cannot join you Still we must not lose this job with all the mucky mucks on board This assignment could cement the brigade as the go-to security service across the Dwindalian Empire So you must do it However, because they're expecting the Terri and Darrington to board that vessel I have made arrangements for a suitable understudy Flimsy! Come on down! A young pale man with a scraggly black hair steps forward Matt, please introduce your character and describe him You watch from around the corner, kind of shyly peaking A pallid, gunt looking young man But there's something about him feels strange and alien His eyes are just complete black saucers His long, stringy black hair Wearing a kind of a loose-fitting tunic and a massive backpack Covered with all sorts of weirded kutramon like a wooden sword into the back And he peeks around and blinks his large eyes and goes Hi, hi everybody This is a pleasure to meet you Oh my goodness It's really you Hey, no guy! Hey! But he's gonna be playing you! Terri! He doesn't look like you What am I doing? I remember we discussed this flimsy I show them how you will pretend to be me, Terri and Darrington Go on Hi, so it's getting really nervous and kind of his knees start shaking You can do this Okay, alright And for a second, you're afraid he's gonna pop a blood vessel or shit himself But you watch as his skin begins to shift and morph Until eventually he grows slightly taller, his shoulders come back And suddenly he has a handsome, semi-well-tanned and less sickly visage Looking pretty dang close aside from the attire to Terri and Darring Oh, wow Oh, that was too cool That was pretty cool Thank you, Kylie Oh, the voice is so fucked up though Yeah, that's a bit scary Terri's eyes, Eriden It seems he understood he could use a little bit more practice I would agree I'm sorry, I've only read your books And most of your recordings don't actually capture his vocal timbre, so I actually need more practice It's alright, it's alright The way I see it, he'll barely have to speak on this journey There'll be so much commotion in people running around Terri and can be supervising from afar And orchestrating the brigade as it goes about its security duties But not actually present from much of it So when he is there he'll stand in the background And you'll also have Doty with you And you all will be the voice of the Darrington Brigade and he'll be the face Please, in charge Not exactly I'm still in charge, but I'm not there And he's not in charge because he's the new guy So you're all in charge Does that make sense? You're still in charge and you're not there How are we supposed to know what you want us to do? What do we listen to? We need a director Oh boy, none of you think that you're up for the challenge Definitely not I didn't say that I mean I don't mind telling people what to do from a pie I'm like, "God, I'm in charge!" You're the leader It's done, you're the leader What? I'm still the great Congratulations, Mark That's what you're doing You're a big. I'm gonna take over the world Terry, Terry, Terry Terry, Terry, Terry What's wrong with the robot? Doty reacts with confusion No, no, no, I'm over here, Doty Now the hubris departs in 20 minutes I've purchased you matching Darrington Brigade badges He passes them out As you know, branding is everything He has two identical golden badges that say "D" beyond them Doty will join you to document the journey and will obey your every command This. Oh, don't. What did you do? No, I'm gonna. Did you stick yourself with that? I'll bear man's going to. I'm gonna. Put that away And also. Brand, blah, blah Branding is everything I thought we were just talking about Learn from the master What is the branding? It's "Albert Man Brand" Put man, which is it say "The Four Man" It's just "Albert Man" "Albert Man" "Albert Man" "Albert Man" "Albert Man" "Albert Man" "Albert Day" "Albend" "Albend" Yes! Yes! When are we not? Come on! Give us a comedy show What else are you gonna do? I help pin the DB on the giant air You feel like you got the heartbeat and your fingertip? You got it before the start It's a new chest, your heartbeat It's fine, you're doing good Wait, you can't go because you're throwing up Well, that's right Why don't we just plug it up? Plug it, me? Yeah I can't. Maybe I can Terrien stands to join you His legs, quiver, and he swoon and falls over What is that? It helps plug you up Did you need some? All right, I can take some pills I'll try it He actually sponsored my show a few episodes ago But he reaches out a massive hand and grabs Terri by the scruff And holds him erect Oh god No, no, no, no, no Terrien, barfs the little and then swallows it back down He's having a real tough time He's a salsa swallower Please, please set me down buddy Oh, everybody Yeah, I'm going to go to the other side Listen, just make sure that they think that I, Terrien Darrington, am on board supervising you And remember this, you must take any opportunity to show off for the crowd Your performance means the very future of the brigade Dary, oh, right Thank you, Dody Dody, transcribe the passenger manifest These are all the VIPs that you'll be assigned to protect Guard them with your life Now, hurry, Captain Damon is expecting you Oh, shit, there's a lot of people I just want to say before we leave, it's an incredible honor to be able to work with you in the brigade I've been following your exploits for quite some time And I never expected you to respond to any of my letters Well, Urgent Times demand urgent measures You said you were familiar with all of the exploits of the Dary, and Tind Brigadier Oh, yes I've read the adventures of Terrien Darrington, the glorious journeys of Terrien Darrington You have the memorable exploits of Terrien Darrington in the clearly legendary rumors surrounding Terry and Aaron tonight I've had comfortable. It's a smaller bibliography, but still a good start. Quick, do your best, Terry, an impression. Let's see, what if someone were to come up to you and say, "Terry, what's your favorite of your works?" The favorite of my works would be, "Ha-ha! Tav Terry adarigated." Actually, that's pretty great. That was interesting. Does that look like a sound like? Yeah, that was pretty good. It does like a little bit more of a nasal situation and a little bit of a claw. Okay, keep working on it. Yeah, you can say he's got a cold. That's great. Good luck and go, "Rewr!" Any barfs again, scattering a vomit all over the floor, you guys leave. Let's. "What sweet goodness have I light!" The famed book writer, Evangeline Frost, is going to be on the board this shit. Are you a fan? I am such a fan. Evangeline Frost is everything. I don't know. She has a very, very heated romance novel. That is one of my favorites. What's it called? It is called from Dust to Bust. Wow. Sounds sexy. Yeah, I'm sorry. Yes. (laughter) I know you're currently filling a bucket, but would you mind before we leave? You just signed a couple of my books. Just go! You choose who you all are. The hubris is enormously impressive. Nearly three times the size of any skyship you've ever seen, stepping onto the hovering craft via the gang plank, a promenade of polished brass and glowing alchemical lanterns stretch, stretches ahead, opening into teared decks that rise like layers of wedding cake, silken banners snap in the wind as beefy deckhands in matching white coats bustle with grace and urgency beneath it all a steady rhythmic hum. Hints at the immense arcane power keeping the vessel loft. There are three main passenger decks above and below to crew decks. The atrium deck, just to give you a lay of the land, atrium deck has a glass domed observation lounge, offering views of the endless sky. Botanica holds gardens in most of the passenger suites. The court deck holds a dancing hall, the grand ballroom, a small casino and a bar, and then the lower decks drive and expands. Drive and expands. How's the crew and service operation? I got atrium deck. Did you get Botanica, Courts and Lower? Drive and expands. A-B-C-D-E. Where we are, are we? You're on the top deck. Exposed. See the sky, see the ground, all that? Yes, you're on the atrium deck, which is mostly open, but has a few interior compartments on the ends, as well on the ground. What are we going to see the captain? What do we do? What do we do? We secure a room? We just float around the whole time? A handsome middle-aged human. In a tight leather vest adorned with epilets greets you as you board the ship. This is Captain Damon. Hello. You must be the Darrington Brigade. Yes, Captain. I am Captain Damon. Captain Matt Damon. I was supposed to meet a Terry and Gary Darrington. By the way, Captain Damon is a real character that Matt invented in campaign 1. He's described as a human man. That's it. So I'm making him Matt Damon. This was a mistake. This was a mistake. You're not your name. Did you say Captain Damon or Damian? Damon. I'm Matt Damon. That's right. It's a little different, buddy. It's a little different. It's hard to say. It's pretty close. Captain, wow. This is a beautiful boat. Thank you. Oh, Damian. Very apologies. This is our crew where the Darrington Brigade. Yes, I have. Over here we have Terry. Okay. I start playing some heroic sounding music. Oh, this is the leader of your group. Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Terry. How have you found our ships so far? He loves it. He does. Fantastic. What do you think about your running security on this vessel? What do you think of the exterior battlements that you've seen? He is so highly impressed by your armaments. It's actually one thing you got us because I see lots of vulnerabilities, right, Patel? Yeah, but you made the necessary changes. You got the best of the business killers and degenerates. All of us. Well, that's good to know. I'm more of a documentarian and Albaneman. Albaneman? Albaneman? Albaneman. Albaneman. Albaneman. I tell you, Terry. But it's trying to talk to them. God. I didn't tell him what you think. I'm eager to hear what you think of the ship that you're assigned to protect. Don't be sorry, you guy. You guys. That's a goal. Understandable. It's beautiful. Rex and Tim Breeze's this time of year can be. Make a deception check if you can. First roll. First roll. Let's go. Come on, Lindsay. Ooh. That's a 22. Woo! As I was saying, the winds this time of year. Can be rather dry and rather brisk. Indeed. Yes. Oh, Rex and trope fever. Oh, jeez. It didn't happen. Well, as you saw, Mr. Flair Mont, the designer of the ship and owner, has outfitted the ship with sophisticated battlements. She can fly at incredible speeds faster than a dragon. He always says, though, I don't want to test that out. And it has magical shields to repel exterior attacks. Our passengers are, shall we say, of the elite. So there's very little danger on board. However, if anyone were to get too drunk or too handsy or too flirty, it would be wise to handle things discreetly. Pretty basic stuff. Understand? Yeah, someone on the manifest named Shart von Cleef. Shart von Cleef. Shart von Cleef. You hear a voice coming from behind you as Balthazar Flair Mont, a wealthy investor and owner of the ship, swings into view. A stroll's interview. He's an orange coutari man, five foot eleven, ostentatiously dressed in white silk tails and a colonial wig. Carrying a cane and top hat. He might have been designed by chat. Sorry. He strolls with the ease of someone who's never rushed in his life, tossing a ball of yarn to gauge the wind speed. Oh, you have noticed the manifest includes one, how you say, Shart von Cleef. Well, I noticed this is quite the list. Yes, it is. Shart is one of our most precious passengers. Shart von Cleef is a famous artist of caricatures and landscapes. He paints some of the most world-renowned artworks depicting monsters of ancient history and battles of the past. It is fantastic and we are honored to have him on this ship. It must be that Darington, a boy, he is the. Yes, we are and we're known for a pair of Essek dice that's a soul. Yes, it's a soul. He's a soul to pair of Essek dice. For $275,000. Thank you. Congratulations to that person. Bonjour to all of you. You must be the Darington Brigade. Is that correct? What is your name? He's Mr. Flare. I'm not Shart von Cleef. He's one of our precious passengers. I am the passenger list. He's the owner. You're the owner of the boat. It's an airship. I am Balphes Ard Flare Mont. Welcome aboard my masterpiece, The Ubris. Must be a man himself, Darington. I am a huge fan. I've read all your books. The Daring Trials and Tribulations of Darington. Cry, Terry Cry, unlocking the power of raw human emotion. The man who should be king. The blonde, the brave and the bold. All of them, you know what were some of the others. Many. - Oh, you are two kinds, sorry, your books proceed you. It is such an honor to meet you. And your brigade, I am so, so happy to meet you all. This would be a wonderful voyage. Mr. Derek Dunn, where would you like your man's station first on the top decks, on below? - You have a man's station. - I'm sorry? - You said you have a man's station. - You would like your man's station. - Understood. That was a slight misunderstanding on my part. I do apologize. - It's a part that's not a dissent, it's a dissent. - You must be Madame Copperport. - You better be. - Oh, and this is Bodhis. (laughing) - The muscles of the upper mercy on. - There's a couple muscles of the upper mercy on. - Oh. - Just, the bulters I want to know if where we want our men to be stationed. - Or everywhere. - What has the best view in access to the buffet? (laughing) - Well, the buffet would be served tonight at the Grand Ball Room down the Grand Ball Room. (laughing) Mr. Derek Dunn. - We've got to be sure that the ball. - Man might need a little bit of cajoling and translating. Perhaps you should tell him everything I'm saying. - Later. (laughing) Make another deception check. (laughing) - Six. - Yeah, I'll do this during the French. - Wait, wait. - Wait, wait. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Before I roll, they're mine. - No, you can do it, I don't care. (laughing) - Use tides of chaos to get advantage on the roll. - Right. - Yes, yes. - Tides. - 15. - Oh, yes. He sort of looks at you peculiarly and leans in to inspect you a little bit closely, but is interrupted by a short gong. Behind Flairmont stands a prim d'Orven fellow in an ill-fitting tuxedo. Elias Dorn, this is Flairmont's Butler. He's got Nick's all over his face from shaving. He holds an impressive gong stick in one hand and a complicated stopwatch in the other. And so we must be moving along the passengers all boarding. And sure enough, you see various VIPs escorted onto the ship, some with ballots and servants of their own, many of whom you recognize from the manifest. They're all being helped along onto the boat, onto the ship, I guess. You see, actually everybody roll a perception check. - You'll believe. - A little bit wrong. - Not 24, one. - A little perception. - Oh, not 24. - That's 24. - That's 20? - Yeah. - I should have said history, but it's fine. Not 20, oh, account. - But it's still been a not 20. - So those of you who rolled not 20s, you recognize from the passenger manifest over here, overhearing snippets of their dialogue and knowing the vague descriptions on there, on the manifest. - Let me go. - Don't worry about it. - You recognize Lady Adelied Tipsyfoot, a-- - You got the one you like. - She's on the top, the red shirt, the red shirt, the red shirt, the red comtroller. - She is a halfling, three foot 11 teal dress, gold tiara, way too much jewelry. She carries a small chihuahua in a purse. She's very elderly. - Chihuahua's cannon. Chihuahua's cannon. - Yep, Chihuahua's our cannon. And she's extremely elderly. - House of the extra cannon. - And is snapping for her valet to follow her. She has the voice of Tommy Waso, thanks to chat. - Oh, ho. (all laughing) - Come on, come on. Come on, we need to get down below to the sweet, to put my belongings away. Come on. (all laughing) - She makes it even more breath, yeah. - She makes it even more breath, yeah. - You also recognize Dan Cold Snap. - Oh, Dan Cold Snap. - A world famous orcish bard. You recognize his distinct crazy colorful jumpsuit and a luchador mask that he wears whenever he performs. - Oh my god. (all laughing) - Amazing. - Oh, wait, what? (all laughing) - He's already warming up with his jazz sacks. (all laughing) - You have a great music for the hour. - It does. You also recognize Aria O'Lari, a middle-aged collector of rare magical artifacts. She's a dragon born with opal scales. She's telling her man servant, come on, we must move faster. We have to get on this ship and get our belongings. - Below. - Roll an incite. (all laughing) - Go ahead and roll an incite. - Roll an incite. - Roll an incite. - Ooh. - Ooh. - Ooh. - Oh, 26. - Okay. - On my new Jester Dice, by the way, you should're coming out on Monday. - Yeah. - Hey, look at that. - I roll a 20 on these yashes. - Oh. - Ooh, it's a good dice, guys. - Your keen eyes, draw you to Aria O'Lari, and you sense that she is shady as Fulug, and according to chat, might be a distant relative of Bolo. (all laughing) - Okay, okay. - You feel familiar. - Yeah, very. - And there. - Two relative. (all laughing) - By a thousand dyers. - Yeah. - I said might. They really wanted it, the chat. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And then, of course, you recognize you, Hazel Copperpot, without making a roll, recognize. - You recognize yourself. - Evangeline Fraus. - It's a mirror. - Sorry, what? - It's a green frost, your favorite writer. She is a large bird lady, an ice-fer-a, with a super wide-bremmed hat, sickly sweet southern bell draw, pocket watch, she's a Karen. (all laughing) And she is already writing in her notebook. And there I was, finding myself on the deck of the ship, looking at everyone, and looking especially over there at the Darrington Brigade, who had boarded before us. What were they doing here? I was gonna get down to the bottom of it. - Oh no, she's a bit. - She's a boy's outside now. - It appears that Evelyn Frost has seen us, and she is dictating everything she says, as she observes us, she's a large bird lady, and even though she seems a bit coony herself, I still find her quite. An icon. - A shorter one seems to be writing down everything I'm saying, or at least recording it, about some sort of wax cylinder. - I believe she has spotted me, she has made eye contact. I am blushing deep down inside, but I should never reveal how much I've been admirer I am. - She admirers me. - Of course. - According to what she just said, and recorded into her, (all laughing) wax cylinder at full volume. - Don't take this down. (all laughing) - Oh, that's how it's part. (all laughing) - Well hello. (all laughing) - Oh, I do not see you there, fair lady. - A kindred spirit, I see. - Who must you be? - I believe you know the answer to that. I'm a Vangeline Frost, it's a pleasure to meet you. (all laughing) - Perhaps I could get your audio graph later on. If it is not a problem to you. - Are you a fan of my work? (all laughing) - What is your work? - Surely you've heard of my audio podcast here. (all laughing) The adventures of Darynton, Darynton, Brigadia. (all laughing) - It's. - Thousand fans. - It's to our wish. - You haven't, you haven't. - You haven't, I've never heard of that. - Audio version. - Oh, oh man. - You've transcribed Darynt's books into audio format. - Well, yeah, absolutely, it is the future of Alexandria. - You've also, you know, she interviews all of us. Every week. - And we want her to. - She gives, like, behind the scenes things in a podcast. - Whether we want her to. - And we say in a run. - Yes. (all laughing) - Also. - Interesting. - Interesting. Interesting. - Hello. - Hello. - Let's hear your ex-sister. - Hmm. - How are you doing today? Are you here to write one of your fantastical accounts of this voyage? - Hmm. - Now, she's very busy as you can see. He's already just like, try the Columbia ideas. They're gonna make up his most famous rendition of this. - It's a beautiful service. - A role deception. And you can, you can roll to help or you can roll with advantage. - Bam. - Bam. - With advantage. - Bam. - Come on. - I'll give you advantage. - Sure. - All right. - All right. - All right. - 12th. - Okay. - Okay. - I'm saying Nuget. - She, she scribbles something down in her notebook and looks at you suspiciously. Damien, what were you-- - What are you, I'm not familiar with your work. - Well, I'm a Vangeline Frost. I am the first most famous author in all of Wild Mount, despite what some of the inflated bestselling lists might say. We know that you cook the books, so to speak. My adventures have been read farther and wider than Terrians. - How wide. - All right. - What? - How wide? - How wide? - Have you ever heard of drip? - I hear so many accents right now. You can go all along. Really walk all along the place. - Have you ever heard of cheated shyvory? (laughing) - Shivory? - Yeah, shyvory. That's how I pronounce it. (laughing) 10 things to do, or have I myself help book? 10 things to do before meeting the matron of Ravens? - Mmm. - I can't say I've ever read any of those. Neither of those have anything to do with my interests. But you have read from dust to bust the vampire romance, right? I gave it to you. You borrowed it from me from my personal collection. - I read it. - Okay, I read it. Of course I've read from dust to bust. - I read it. - You didn't read it, Damien, don't lie. Can I have it back if you're not gonna read it? - Well, maybe I read it. Maybe I love smut. The deception. (laughing) - I'll let you two work out this little tip you're having. - I lost it. (laughing) Okay, I lost it. Just then move, move, move. A gentleman pushes past all of you in a very rude fashion. He is wearing paint stained overalls, has a Bob Ross style bushy haircut. He is a frog man. He's missing an ear, even though frogs. - It's like Van Gogh. - Yeah, well, this is from Chad. (laughing) - I don't mean the whole thing. - The whole thing is missing. - The ear hole, how about this? He has an ear. (laughing) - That's the weird part. (laughing) - Just wanted to give it a ear. It's a bluest one. (laughing) - You got one run run, that bitch. (laughing) - Uh huh. - He's wearing a straw hat. He has a pet squirrel on his shoulder. - Move, move, move. - And he's dragging a pallet full of canvases and paints. You get a glimpse of them as he walks by their ultra realistic paintings of monsters, beasts, and dragons made by, with alchemical paints that seem to move and shimmer in the light. They're fantastic, but he's very gruff and he pushes past you. I'm not my way. I've got to get these pages to the safety. He pushes past you and keeps going. - Hey, Mark. - Yeah, what's up? (laughing) - Everybody on this boat in bad mood. - Yeah, I think so, but you know what they say. You get on the ship and then you take a dip and then you take a sip and everything's fine. (laughing) - Did I do something wrong? - No, no, they're just intimidated by an ultra good luxe and charisma. Make sure you smile real big, show me a tip. (laughing) - Oh my God. (laughing) - I've angiallly frost sort of regards you with disdain, writes something down and turns and walks away. All the passengers start to disperse as they're guided down to their respective cabins to settle in. - It's more in the front and in the back to go through the sky. - And it's got a little spiky bit. - That's exactly what she has. (laughing) - Yes. - And it is made of feathers. Yes, and. (laughing) - He's voted for his "Viritable Powder King." All these people feel like super villains to me. I just want to punch every one of them. - Well, we ought to be to protect them. We are their protectors. - And you said the guy that pushed past us was holding a bunch of art, right? - Yes. - Could that have been Shart, bought a queen? - Yes, you could do a history check if you'd like to. - Yes. - Well, there were paintings, but it's debatable if they were Shart. - Thirt. (laughing) - You are don't know. (laughing) - Shart, you're on the eye. - There's an artist on the manifest. - He's a Shart. - There's no pooping buff right now. Yeah, awesome. (laughing) - So everyone has staff to protect, except for Ariya, she was Shadeysfuck. Fook. She was Shadeysfook. - Fook. - Oh, are you talking to me? No, you're talking to me. - I'm not gonna see you. - The savel. - You wanna see that one more time? - No, we don't. - Oh, all right. - Oh, I'm saying Roni. - All right. - I'm just a bit of this. (laughing) - I'm so tired after that. - You sounded a little French there for a moment. - I'm so upset. - You're a tyrant. - Yeah, that was good. - What is it? - I'm gonna hold your four. - Where's the French? - I've never had to do it like that before. I've never had never really had to. I've had to attempt to hit a particular timber. If you have any pointers, please help me. - You're good. - That was very funny. - Thumbs. - Okay, thanks. - I think probably you shouldn't talk. - That might be best. - But you know, if it comes up, we can we can we we will help you. - Okay. - You're a scarf. - You're a scarf. - You're just great. - Where's the way you're from? - Where did Terry find you? - Well, casting networks backstage. - I never met anyone backstage. - Actors access. - Action, action. - Action. (laughing) - Can, can, can. - Can, can. (laughing) - I was growing up with the LN and I wrote letters every few weeks with each book I'd finished that, right? A new letter and he never responded to any of them. I kept sending applications to become a part of the brigade with you. And for the number of years or no responses, I just assumed it would never happen until. - Wait, did we have applications? - No, but I made my own and then filled the mountain sentiment. - I am so. - And then one day he responded rather rapidly, actually. I had spent all my savings to get a teleportation here. But I'm happy to be here. And I hope. - You had to pay for yourself to be here. - Well, I figured it's an investment in your career, you know? - It became a major pain. - Yeah, it paid up play. I think they called it. - Where did you tell it from? - Feelin'. - Feelin'. - Yeah. - Yeah. - It's in the Monagery Coast. - Yeah, it's a beautiful area. - It really is, if you bet. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I've heard amazing things about you. - Oh, wow. Anyway. - You did great. Just you know, I'll be there. They'll talk a little bit less, you know? - And Buddy, stop calling him no guy. - Okay. - Pretend he's old guy. - Very good point. - I'm gonna have to keep smiling. - No, you can stop. - Stop. Are you a cheek turtle? - Oh, I got ears or a shake. - They went soloing. - Right, they're known. - I'll get there. - Oh, you're good. - Sounds pretty good. - Yeah, it's getting good. - All right, so we got, what? Five decks to keep safe. We got a bunch of people hoarding stuff. Most of Shady, one is cool. One is named Shark. This is gonna be cut. This is gonna be the easiest matter we ever made. - I can cure. - Yeah, this doesn't feel too difficult. Should we go to the casino? - I was thinking that. - Yeah, yeah. - He's the leader that Terry and said should be making the decisions. - Oh, how do you want us to do, Mack? - Oh, well, oh. - I like to, oh. - But he stands fully erect so that Mack rises another three feet in the air. - Woohoo. - Albeirma. - What do you think, Casino? Or a trail? - I feel like Casinos are where the most crime could happen on this boat. Casinos are crime-ridden. - What is D and E stand for? - Oh, I-- - Dekin, Gai and Shady. - Dekin's-- - Expans. - Expans, yes. - Fuckin' six, expans. - It's a great show. - It's a show. - Yeah. - Florida. - It's a fight. - It's a battle. - It's a battle. - Florida. - It's a battle. - Florida. - Lowest deck. - If anyone's gonna be Shady, - Turn on the camera. - Woohoo! - Buffet! - Hazel! - Hmm. - Are you guys going to the casino? - Yeah. - But Hazel plays us traveling music as we go so people know where the DB is at all times. - Oh, I'm trying to dodge at the back. - Why are we hiding? - Okay, roll it for performance check and roll the stealth check as you go from shadow to shadow. - I'm gonna ice-crank Rolls-Up, you hear that bitches coming from two of my blocks of hell. Get your model! - I'm using a new Vaxil dand ice. Also just releasing on Monday. - Releasing on Monday, eh? - Monday? - What am I rolling for? - Performance. - All right, that's going to be the 20, 30, 20. - It's pretty good as you march down to the end. the casino below deck. You pass several passengers, all of whom are startled by the parade-type music that you're playing, but they respect it. They kind of-- >> Step aside, step aside. >> Step aside and-- >> I don't know too, like, monkey poses, not monkey poses. >> Monkey poses. As I walk behind her, like, you know, I saw-- >> I'm thinking like, you know, like, flourish and stuff. >> I got a 13-stealth, so I don't know. I assume there's nowhere to hide in this hall, anyway, so I mostly just like-- >> Right. You guys see as you go make your way down to the casino. >> So he's just like a grown man doing bad parkour for casino? >> Yes. >> So the passengers, you know, and are curious about it. There is one in particular-- let's just pick one here-- who seems to regard you with curiosity and disdain. He is wearing a dark sort of green gray cloak and-- oops, wrong person-- nope, I lost his description. [laughter] Chat made it. I didn't copy and paste it. >> Sam. >> Sam. >> Sam. >> Sam. You're dreaming. Wake up. >> Oh, no. No, no. He's scared. >> Let's say he's a high elf. >> I love it. Oh, no. >> Oh, hi. Don't worry, middle of the road. Oh, make it up. Hey, here it is. [laughter] >> Oh, no, no. >> Here it is. Blue and black robes, a dark gray cloak, hiking boots. Oh, he carries some sort of a medallion around his neck that sort of-- dangles there-- has a scraggly beard. He's about six feet tall. He seems a little bit exhausted. And as he walk by him, he's pouring out from a small leather flask, some oil, and he rubs his hands with it, seemingly to clean them. He's sort of constantly cleaning his hands. And he notices you coming and says, "By the law, better." It is good to see that we are being protected by security. Are you the Darington Brigade I've heard of? >> I want it only. >> In the flash. >> Wait, wait, wait, wait. You weren't there a second ago. That's so nice of you to say. [laughter] Anyone said in a while, "Alber man, I am here for justice." >> I am High Cleric, Vitch Robinovich. >> Yes. I'm Vitch Robinovich. >> Yes, of High Cleric, Vitch Robinovich of the Law Bear. I'm happy that you're here to restore order and justice to this place. There are many people here who abuse their power and make ill choices about their health. >> [laughter] >> Is there power in pain meds? >> Yes. He also sprays his hands again and-- >> I feel like I'm looking into a beautiful mirror right now. >> Yes. I can sense a kindred spirit in you. >> A match. >> A trauma. >> That's how that party keeps greasing his hands. >> Just like you always do. >> Well, you know, some people self-natural are driving. Your boy is gifted. >> Exactly. Are you doing on this ship? >> I have been-- as a favor, I have been asked to come on board as the ship's physical, as the doctor for the vessel for the maiden voyage. A flare-mont couldn't find a suitable alternative. And I wanted to see firsthand how these people deal with each other. And especially, I wanted to get my eyes on how this ship is run, how it works and operates. >> It's very odd. >> It's a triumph having you here. I mean, this place could be the real pit of despair, you know, for not dark people real careful eyes. >> Could be-- >> The way the ship works, it's clever. >> I'm taking it now. >> He looks up at the board. >> [laughter] >> I got to keep going. >> [laughter] >> Please keep us safe. And I hope we make it through the night. >> Mm-hmm. >> Then he's off. >> You have my word, Dad, revenge. >> Oh, god. >> As you walk into the casino, there's a boy. >> What games did they find, Matt? You made all these games in Xandria and I didn't know where any of it. >> Oh, why? >> One of them is-- let me Google it. >> [laughter] >> Xandria and Poker, Xandria and Blackjack. >> Let's give up. Let's give up. >> There's Roles. >> Roles. >> Roles. >> You see the standard tables at all, the Xsinos, of Andres' favor, Griffin's wall, Quannon's room side. >> One more. >> Mm-hmm. Yeah, Gambit-A-Word. >> My god, they have a lot of games here. >> Board going on. Fork of the storm. You know, you're standard Xandrian games. >> [laughter] >> Over there, play some-- >> [laughter] >> Playing Gambit of Oord. >> You recognize someone from when you walked in earlier. It is the middle age woman who is speaking with sort of a Russian accent before Aria or Lauri. She is talking to another gentleman who you don't recognize and they're playing cards as they talk. That's all. >> I'm going to casually walk by to see if either of them are cheating. >> Okay. >> I guess stealth and perception check. >> Or is it-- >> Are you trying to be-- >> I guess casually, you're not trying to hide. >> I'm always trying to hide. >> Okay, so you're hiding and being casual and perceiving. So perception, stealth, and performance. >> [laughter] >> I was curious who we were going to investigate in the round down. >> No investigation. >> Perception, stealth, performance. >> Oh, that hit the-- >> That was a bad idea. >> That was a bad idea. >> So stealth is 20, perception is not very high, is three, and performance is-- >> There we go. >> 18. >> Yes, so they're playing cards and you walk by them silently like a cat. They don't notice you. You don't-- the wind of you passing doesn't move a hair on their heads. You walk right by and you forget to look. >> [laughter] >> I was just starting to dying trying to find food. >> Okay. >> [laughter] >> I'm going to start to roll over to Aria. >> All right. >> That's where you were going? >> I don't remember anymore. >> Okay. Yeah, I was just following a little bit behind and I'm just going to just like hover around there. >> All right. >> I'm going to grab a drink and just stand there like I'm supposed to be there. >> Marilyn, I'm drinking. >> No. >> Should we join this hot table? >> Sure. >> We're going to gamble. >> We're going to have the same table as Ariana O'Lary. >> Yes. >> Okay. So you're keeping a watch out. You guys are going over and you're going to try to buy some chips or something. >> I'm going to stay-- I'm going to be like behind her at the table so I can sort of watch what she's doing. >> Great. >> I'm going to-- >> Maybe she-- >> Miss a couple of potties. Is it safe for us to be engaging in public spaces when we're trying to keep a low profile? >> Well, I imagine as part of being a front facing guard, do you want to be front facing? >> Right, right. I should-- I should. >> I can't help you. >> Hmm. >> Okay. >> I'm going to stay behind you if anyone tries to talk to you. You look away. You're a little irritated and then I walk up and tell them that they can't look you in the eye and they can't talk to you. >> Great. >> Great. >> Great. >> You ready? You look too approachable. >> Oh, my buddy. >> Buddy has walked 15 feet away and he's just for a few minutes now. I've been watching a marble go around and around in a big wheel. >> Sure. >> Yeah. >> And I'm just with your head. >> I'm just-- >> Yeah. >> I'm going to stop. >> The dealer at the Roulette table lets the ball fall and click into a number. No bets have been placed and just sort of looks at you guys and spins it again. Hazel and Ferroin you go over the dealer that there's a young dealer at the table. Hello. Would you like to play some bet? >> Yes. >> Play some bet. >> Play some bet. Would you-- were you using cash or would you like to buy some chips? >> I would like to buy some chips. >> Chips. >> All right. How many? Five gold, ten gold, twenty gold? >> What's the-- >> The minimum wage here is two gold. >> How much do we have with my pony budget? >> Plenty. >> We have plenty of money. >> We'll get 200 gold worth of chips. >> You don't have that much. >> We'll get 20 gold worth of chips. >> 20 gold, that's a-- >> Each. >> Each. >> Each. >> Y Rollers, wow. >> Are you-- >> He's on our side. >> She's with-- you with a bit of shock in there. face. All right, money has exchanged, chips are doled out. The first hand of Gambit of Orte is delt out, you guys know how to play it. You all are looking at your cards. How many chips does it cost? Where's the dealer? It's very funny. The dealer is wearing a black collared shirt, has sort of shoulder-length hair, has leather bracelets around his wrist and he takes over the exchange of the belt from there. Nice. What do you sound like? It sounds like this. It's pretty good. Yeah it is. Go on. How does Gambit of Orte work? I believe this is the dice game. It's the D6 dice game, right? Were you trying to get pairs or something? It's been a minute since I got it. Oh, I'm not the only one who didn't prepare to DM tonight. Wait a second. That was the D8. That's this one. Yeah. You roll a D8, keep the results hidden and you can choose to raise the belt called a better fold. What are you trying to get to? It's more or less like you go down, then you raise again and then roll a D4. So as D8, make a bet, then secretly roll a D6, bet again, then roll a D4 and then you all. The game works as Matt's describing it. This is just a simplified version. I'll go ahead and roll a roll. Wait, is Ari a play in two? She is? What is she wager? She just wagered six gold. Okay, everyone's in for six. Six gold. Oh, you beat me. Let's keep it from. Okay, dear, the rolls 12. Ari says, yes, she rolled a 17 and she takes a portion of the pot. No, no, she doesn't. Oh, she reaches out to get it. Not so fast, pretty little shady lady. I rolled in 19. Win or winner, chicken, didn't you? She regards you with skepticism, a new player who's got some skill with dice. Interesting. Shall we make this even more interesting? Double or nada? Nope. No, no, no. What do you think, Farrow? Shall we walk while we're ahead? Your ahead, I'm down. Six bar. Oh, and another six. Double. All right, let's play. All right, I win. The dealer rolls. Okay. And Arianna rolls. It's the longest one of us wins. The dealer got a three. Well, Arianna has to go first. Yeah, what are you looking at her house? I'll give you the option to take half of the earnings now. Or you can see what they're rolls and lose everything. What is she doing? I'm inside checkin' her. Is this hand of board face? What's this game called? Hand of board face? This is an hand of board face. This is Pant Speed. Okay, you get a look at her and she, her eyes seem to dart side to side, but that's all you can kind of glean from her. Yeah. I will only make this off at once. Bring a shady lady. Can I see what she's got standing behind her? Sure, try to do a investigation. I don't know how this works. Investigation check. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 19. Yeah, she's got a real low roll. All right. I'll look over. I'm like over. (laughs) What do you keep calling the shady lady? Aren't you assigned to protect me? That is absolutely correct. And I protect people from shade. (laughs) Hazel likes to wear sunglasses a lot and. (laughs) She calls everyone shady. Your trumpet just went off. I sat on it. Sorry. This thing is trapped to me at all times. That's what you get when you hire a little copper button. (laughs) Why? Are you having a stroke? I had a Celsius and I am a little zooted from it and exhausted. (laughs) That worked. It's canon. I would be happy to give you the winnings that you sow. That you deserve, frankly. But I do not like being disrespected by the help aboard this vessel. Here, take your winnings. She rolled the one. Take it. Give me my money back. Hurry, I split the pot. But I might be reporting this to the captain. His security is coming down to the casino to hustle passengers. I should have their well-earned goals. Marble, marble, marble! You just hear a fucking like macaroni fighting for a fucking life against the centrifugal force. And he finally gets his hand out and throws a gold onto the table to make the fucking marble stop. (laughs) What did you bet on? Did you. I just threw it on the table because there was no money going down to stop the game, right? Okay, so yes, so just roll any number and I'll see if you magically hit it on the D20. Ted. You did not hit it. (laughs) You saw that. You said, "God, I fucking dead." Would you like to play again? - No, no, I thought I'd be like, "Oh, I thought I was going to throw up and then it turned out to go for a little bit. - Meanwhile, over by the alber and flimsy, a waiter comes… Oh, fairest. A waiter comes up to you and offers you a terry in a drink. I know you don't do it, but… - Roll up what's your name, who are you? - My name's Jameson, I work here. - What's that in your name? - It's just a sparkling water. - I have to poison test everything from Mr. Terrington. - Of course. - Fugeterington. - You're welcome. - Fugeterington. - That's fine, we'll take two more. - I only brought the one, but I'll go get two more. - I'll go. - That's right. - I don't trust that guy. - All right, I'll go get more. And he walks away. - I think he's on to me. - I think he should follow him. - Really? - I don't know. He gave me a vibe. - Okay, I crushed you. - You only brought one soda for both of us. That's not cool. - Okay, I'll follow your lead. - We're very, very quietly going to make my way across the bar towards the bar, and I think we should order a drink since we're at the bar now since we were following. Maybe we should just grab something to drink really quickly. - Yeah, of course. What would you like? - Sh*t, try. - The bartender comes over. - Yeah, it's knock him out if you're-- - Welcome aboard. You're the security, right? You're at the bar? - I am. - Cool. Are you allowed to drink on the job? Or do you want to get something without alcohol? - He's questioning me. - All right. - He'll have an Everlight Temple. - Oh my god. - Two of them. - Of course. Right up. Happy to have you guys on board keeping us safe. - Azah! - Azah indeed. - Fun. - Thank you. - You're for two pink fizzy drinks and hands them over. Just as you guys take the drinks, James comes back with two sodas and he's like, "What?" - You can put them right there. We're going to be through these real quick. - Sure. - Watching you. - Have a good day, I guess. - Walk away. - You're going to have to go. - I don't have any pockets on this thing. - Tell me about it. - Are you just wearing-- - I do. It's just boomerangs. - Are you-- - It's boomerangs and a little thing for a bandage. It's nothing else. There's six boomerangs on this one. - I guess most of them-- - They're not hollow boomerangs. - There's just boomerangs all the way down. - No. - You're telling me it's just boomerangs. - Over by the Damien Teeville table. Arya has given you her gold. She's nodded to the gentleman she's with and they're exiting the casino. - You're looking kind of pissy. - So sorry, Ms. Arya. You know, we just thought since you were alone, you would rather enjoy having company to make it happen. - Make your play more enjoyable. That's all. Fuck. (laughs) - Fuck. - And you thought that beating me twice in a row would be fun for me? - That wasn't intentional. - It's competition, it's a draw. - It was anything, I lost you both times. Well, one time. - All right, we can play one more game. But then I have things to do on the ship before dinner. - Of course. - She puts in 15 gold. - Ah, fuck. (laughs) - Let's do this. - Let's do it. - All right, we do it. - I'm gonna roll by the way, the Molly Walk dice and the Percy dice. - Oh, yeah. - Available soon, I don't know. - Those ones might be out already. - It's a great. All right, dealer rolls. Ariana, nope, that's not her name. Arya rolls, okay. (soft music) - This is a famous strategy. (laughs) - Wow, oh. I cast Shatter. - What? (laughs) - What is Shatter on cast Shatter? - On the table in front of me. - The Percy dice. - All right, all right. - Hey, all right. - He's alive. - I'm gonna get you. - All right. - I cast Shatter on the table. - Oh my goodness, gracious, an exploding table. (laughs) - Oh boy. (laughs) - I told you to arrest you, we have to arrest you. - Well, because I was trying, we have to lose. You said that we have to lose. - You already did lose, you don't know that. - You don't like shit? - You know that. I'm trying to ensure our loss. - She could have won. - To be more benevolent to you. - We could have lied. - I don't see our dice, why'd you shatter our old table? - Arya will prostrate myself in front of her. - Are you saying this in the splintered remains of the gambling case? - Yeah. - Let's look up Shatter. (laughs) - It will obliterate the table. - No, I know there's casting stuff too. She watches you. - She's eight hundred damage. - It's VSM, she watches you cast the spell. - I fall forward and my symbols go bang. - And I guess roll for damage on the table. - Okay. (laughs) - It's going great, guys. - Table could take me. - It's a start to hit. - It's a good point. - Who's using the Percy dice right now? - I am. - It's getting hot. - I rolled. - I rolled a really well for a 19 damage. - Okay. - So for four 20 nights. - Nice. - Nice. - The table, the fine oak table, splinters and shatters, sending splinters flying like an exploding grenade. The splinters fly every which way. You each take one point of damage. And so does Arya, Alari in the arm. - I take a point of damage to the-- - Oh, you're pretty close. Yeah, you also take a point of damage. Arya gets a splinter in her arm. - Well, Arya, your rolls are too powerful. - I don't know what's going on here. I'm just trying to enjoy my extremely expensive crews. You come down here, assigned to protect me. You rob my money and you explode the table and hurt me. - This is extrapolation at its finest. - I'm going to talk to your boss right now. - I'm going to put my hand in Arya's shoulder. - No. - What now? - You know what? Why don't I walk you back to your room? Just get in here. You've had it if you want. - Are you properly sniggering her? - No, I am not properly sniggering her. I am beset and I'll get you back there safely. Maybe you want to rest. I can get you away from all of this hustle and bustle. - If you want a little pull. - No, you're-- she looks down at your daring timber gate pin. You are with them. - We all work together, but I mean, that wasn't sitting at the table playing a game. I'm here to protect into some-- - You're all persuasion, Jack. - Okay. - And a good thing you weren't. That table just exploded. - We've really been-- that's a one. - Oh. (laughing) - I think I will have a word with the other employer and she starts walking over towards Terry. - Yeah, go do it. - I have to assassinate her. - Never. - I don't know. I'm just kidding. - Do I see who walking towards? - Yes, she's stomping over. - I'm going to grab your arm and I'm going to start just trying to get you towards the door. - You're right. - Mr. Darlington, Mr. Darlington, she's chasing after you. Are you guys walking running? What are you doing? - We're walking as fast as we can walk while it's still considering it'll walk. - You wave back. (laughing) She's going to pick up the pace. She's going to go into almost a sprint to catch you. Are you going to try to evade or-- - There's no corner or anything to turn around. - There's a hallway outside the casino that splits two ways. You could go right or left. She hasn't seen which way you exited yet. - Smokeball. - I'm going to go right. - Bummer eggspoke. - You're going to go right. I'm going to grab it and throw him behind him and try and be a wall of just alber. - No. - Just this. - Just this, unlike just around the corner. - Okay, all right. So a moment later, Arya exits the casino looking to follow you. She looks left. She looks right. - I'm there. - Wait, when she looks right, roll a stealth check with I would say disadvantage because there's nothing there. - There's nothing. - No. - Don't have smoke bombs or anything? - That's 16. - Okay, let me roll a little more. - I didn't bring the smoke bombs. There's just boomerangs. (laughing) I didn't think about it. Level five. He's just there for the boomerangs. - Level five. - She looks right. She looks right. It's funny. The walls down here have, they're very fancy. The whole ship is very fancy and they're covered with all sorts of tapestries. And you've managed to find a wall that has a tapestry that it hasn't just, it hasn't been fastened down all the way. So it's got a little bit of give and you're able to just sort of sneak behind it a little bit. There's a lump, but you'd have to sort of be looking for it. - Wrestest of justice. - Yes. - Yeah. - Okay, please. - Great, that is. Nine. - That's cool. - So she doesn't see you, Albert, man. But she sees what she assumes to be Terry and Darrington just standing in the middle of the hallway. (laughing) - Hey, wait, wait. - Mr. Darrington. Just the man I wanted to speak to. - I dropped the temp. I didn't like temp all day. - Are you sure you and your people are cut out for this work? You're supposed to be protecting us from danger, correct? - We are indeed. But there is an illness going around and we're trying to get to the bottom of it, which is, I feel it in my sinuses. Mm-hmm, bizarre. - An illness at the casino. - On the ship. It's been sabotaged. - Already. This is terrible. We should have worn the captain right away. - I will take care of that. As it is, my charge. With my brigade. - It's been sabotaged, I'm sorry, with an illness. - With an illness. - Oh, exactly, it doesn't have to work. - That's what I'm trying to figure out. And is my duty. - Boy, oh boy, roll another persuasion check. - Reception or. - Deception. - That is dirty 20. - Oh, yes, what is it? - Yes, she is very confused as to what's going on. Also, her arm is bleeding. (laughter) - Oh goodness, are you all right? - I should ask you the same. I believe I am done with you and you're weird, those. - Out of the shadows? - Jesus. (laughter) Out of the shadows. Out of the shadows. An Alban man in my hand. - An Alban. - An Alban day man. - Yes. - For your arm. - See, we are your projectors. - Does it have like little mask prints? - Yes, of course. - Yeah, it was great. - She snatches it. The gentleman she was with exits the casino, gives her a nod and they, in a huff, she turns and follows him and they exit down the hall. - She's just leaning out of a fill, no, shout out over the end. (laughter) - That's true, she is. - You did so well. - That's so great. - I'm gonna get a bit better at him, but you were really, I feel like you really had that. - I'm starting to feel, I'm starting. - I mean, it's hard to study somebody's personality and sound through their books. - I'm just throwing into the pool. - Yeah, absolutely. - I need you to explore the table. - You said we needed to lose. - No. (laughter) - I am so sense. - There's no sense. It makes perfect sense to me. No table, no dice. - Look at the gold. - No. Jameson shouts at you. (laughter) You do not get to take the gold. You didn't win anything. You exploded the table before any of the dice could be revealed. - The table exploded itself. - You, we all saw you. - It is your world against mine, Jameson. (laughter) - How'd you know it's neat? - I, I always try to tag it. - It's not these gold money here. - I also just assumed there's always a security. - I would call security, but you're them. (laughter) - So I'm just kidding-- - We're gonna get better. - I'm gonna do better. - I'm gonna tell someone about this. I don't know, yeah. This is my first day. - James, we haven't even taken off yet. - Don't tell. - We haven't taken off yet. - Just then you feel the ship depart and you're on your way. (laughter) - I take the gold. (laughter) - That's the new. - He just gives you one of these. (laughter) And he turns away and a half grabs a soda off the table and a drunken fizzy water and starts to drink it. (laughter) A short while later, dong, dong, dong, you hear three huge gong sounds, which as you know is the call to dinner. - Yes, it's an evening final here, ushered into the grand ballroom. Passengers are eager to get a glimpse of what is rumored to be a floating five star restaurant. Do you join them for dinner? - Yes. - But we don't sit down. We actually-- - No, we'll stay in the periphery. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Just with our plate. - As you enter. (laughter) As you enter, you reach a grand vast ballroom. But you, as the other passengers, are shocked to discover a drab gray room. The walls seeming to cement the tables unadorned. The decor is so minimal, it's almost brutalist. In fact, the only striking feature of the ballroom is the enormous broomstone chandelier in the center of the room, humming with energy. Dorn bangs his gong stick to get attention. Welcome, dong, dong, dong. Welcome all to the grand ballroom. Dinner will be served in exactly 13 minutes. But first, his eminence, your host, Balfazard Lamont. Flaremont, now wearing an even frillier white tuxedo entails swings down from the chandelier and lands in the center of the ballroom with panache. He holds a shining turquoise scepter. Bonsoir. You may be thinking, what is this drab boring dining room doing on Flaremont's fabulous ship? Why did I pay so much for a ticket only to be fed in a big gray box? Well, don't worry, your ticket price will be justified. I didn't call it the hubris for nothing. For tonight, you could be dining in the ruins of Shattengraud. With a wave of Flaremont's scepter, the walls shimmer with a luxury magic. The entire ballroom transforms into an underground dig site. With archeological ruins and fossils in the walls. (coughing) The tables transform as well into mining carts filled with gold and intricate artifacts. Or perhaps you'd like to dine in the lush city of Ankarel. And sure enough, with a wave of his scepter, it turns into a lush and colorful dining room with velvet tablecloths, epic murals depicting Jemonsa or defeating a dragon and a buffet of fine marquisian wine and delicacies. The wine, the crowd ooze in Oz. Or perhaps something even fancier like a taste of Taldore. (laughing) - Yes! - You find yourself in a gigantic sizzle. (groaning) (laughing) It's a shitty buffet, greasy tables, breadsticks, a mouse scurries by. This time the audience laughs, uproariously, (laughing) checks the stopwatch, shaking his head. As you see, tonight we could take our meal anywhere in Alexandria, but out to choose. Why don't we let our special guest and master of security, Terian Darington decides, Terian, please come on up here. After all, we've read all of his quests. Why Mr. Darington has traveled the world four times over? Terian, of all the many exotic locals you have visited, where should we dine tonight? - It looks to the rest of you wide eyed, a slight darkened dampness begins to appear in the center of his pants. - Oh no. (laughing) (coughing) He goes in, begins to walk towards the center where Balthazar is standing. He just over and just grabs the thickest looking liquor off somebody's table and takes it gargles. (coughing) Why I must say, oh, he kinda looks himself for a second. Is it was a place to travel? That's my behest having seen all the great, wonderful things around Alexandria. I would say we should take it to, (soft music) Fyolin! - Gugling? (laughing) - That's where it's called town. - That's where it's called, what is that? Where is that? - That's where it comes from. - It's a delightful lazy wine town. - Oh, I know. (laughing) - Maybe not very picturesque, but the cobblestone streets are quite beautiful and the people are very nice in my friend of mine's grand-grand there, makes fine pies. Hazzar. - But of course it is humble and yet appealing. It will remind us all of the days before we were wealthy elites, eh? (laughing) I like it a lot with a wave of his scepter, the ballroom transforms into a fielin with its nearby plum groves. (laughing) And it's the Willow shade oil it produces. (laughing) - Is this Alexandria San Diego? This is what's happening. - Okay. - I know there's lush tables with white tablecloths, wine. It's sort of like what you would expect the south of France in the summer to look like. There's vines, there's lush greenery, but it's a simple sort of home style cuisine. Bottles of wine already seemingly open on their own, on the tables, some stews bubbling in pots. It's very homey and it's a wonderful place to eat. After all, to have an adventure you must begin somewhere humble so you have somewhere to grow. So we cannot begin with the annals of history and grandiosity. We must get to the annals, we must get to better places. (laughing) - So you just took a big swig of whiskey. You seem to be a much more capable actor all of a sudden. Can you roll a performance check with advantage? - 14. - Great. I'll roll this one. That is a one. (laughing) He is delighted, he applaud and does a little golf clap. I will say, since you took so much alcohol, I guess to get you in this frame of mind, let's say that your other skill checks will be at non-charisma related skill checks will be at disadvantage. - Absolutely fair. - Okay. (laughing) - Where's the new guy? - Oh, he's a new guy. - New guy left. We got Terry now. - Terry feel better? - Yeah. - That's good. (laughing) - Yeah. (laughing) - I understand you, Sky. - That's okay. - Everyone starts their meal, pouring wine, drinking drinks, all the passengers that you saw before are at different tables scattered around the place. You guys are hovering the perimeter as security guards will every once in a while. Arya looks over at you with concern. She has a bandage on her arm now. And the meal seems to carry on as normal. - Albeir print bandage or did you change it? - She changed it. - God, fucking dammit. - Albeir boom. - Albeir. - Are they little Cheebie, Albeir? - There's this little mask over here. - I'm like San Raya. - Like a son. (laughing) - I think Flimsy also comes back and then it's like talking to people away. (laughing) - That's so close. - Oh my god. (laughing) - You're doing amazing. - Almost didn't know that. Notice that you pissed your pants. - Yeah. - You're quite a lesbian. - Oh god, thanks. - Your home town is beautiful. - Thanks. I'm gonna get her a drink. - He's a lush, who knew? After a bit, another dong, the gong rings again and dorn the butler speaks to welcome you all onto the hubris. Please welcome to the stage. The diva of dracodia, the songbird of the Sevalier was Monsieur Dan Cold Snap. (laughing) Cold Snap takes the stage. - How did they get Dan Cold Snap? (laughing) - His luchador mask snugg around his face. Everyone cheering wildly. is colorful. jumpsuit shining in the alchemical lights. The room quights to a hush. The band behind him begins to play a sumptuous, operatic piece. He opens his mouth to sing when, "Hoo!" I don't know this one. He cracks badly. It sounds like a duck that swallowed a goose. He tries again, "Hoo!" He's unsure what's going on. He looks panicked, and suddenly he says, "I'm sorry, he flees the stage, mortified. Everyone gasps from the audience." - Close it. - Flair Montes, "Mortified" quickly takes to the stage to calm the audience. Sous and apologies, but it seems that Monsieur Coltsnab has encountered altitude sickness of some sort. We will send the cleric Robinouich to check on him, but in the meantime, I'm afraid we lack a performer for this evening. The drunken crowd now drunken wine starts to boo, and to hiss a voice from the audience shouts, "We paid a fortune for this trip, Flair Mont. We want some gosh darn entertainment." - Isn't it which one? 'Cause how many passengers are on this? Is it just that sheet of paper? - No, no, no, no. - There's a lot more other than that. - Those are the most exclusive. - I thought it was just them. - No, no, no, there's dozens of passengers. - And Valets and waiters, and there's probably 130 people gathered in this ballroom altogether. - Hey, so get up there. - This is your moment. - Can I throw a little bit of a press to digitation to help Dan Coltsnab just a little bit? - Dan Coltsnab is running out the-- - He's texting him. - I was texting Dave Kohlstab. - To let him know that he should tune in for Dan Coltsnab. - Oh, I don't know of this Dave Kohlstab. I was thinking of, I invented Dan Coltsnab. - So we, he's gone. - Yeah, he's-- - That's why he's just going out. - Should you text him that not worry about it? - Or if you want to go-- - I want to follow though. - I want to follow Dan. - Dan, buddy, and I can handle the entertainment. - I'll go check on Dan. - I'll help with you, too. - Okay. - I steer buddy up on stage, and I go, "1, 2, 3, if you're blover, "you don't know where to go to, "but don't you go where fashion sits?" (all yelling) - I guess my illusion to make sparks fly around buddy shoulders. - Amazing, which because I used my tides a chaos. What's your means I have to roll on the wild magic table? - A wild magic ball. Okay, okay, this is great. That performance is going good, but right now it's just a capella. Is anyone going to provide any musical accompaniment? - Person who is a walking band? - Possibly. - I kind of walk in in time as I'm looking for Dan, so you hear, "Dunk, dunk, dunk, dunk." - Okay, great. Dan, Dan is out the hallway. You can pursue him for sure if you'd like. - I get the crowd clapping. - I'm going to grab the symbols off of her back. - There you go. - Are you going to go on stage or go with her? - I know, I'm going to stand at the bottom of the stage and just go, "Xssh." - Great, accentuating their performance. ♪ Up like a million dollar trooper ♪ ♪ Tryin' hard to look like Gary Cooper ♪ (imitates a bell) - Trooper. (laughter) - All right, this is great. So you rolled a minor illusion to help this and then rolled on the wild magic table, okay? - So up to three creatures of my choice that I can see within 30 feet, take one de-tent and a chronic dim. - It's amazing. (laughter) - Does your minor illusion spell worker, does it also fail? - It's a can of troops. So it works. - It works. And what is the illusion that you create? - I created sparks to fly off of Buddy visually as he gets the moment. - So you, Farrowin, Buddy and Mack, all roll performance checks. This is a group performance check. To see if you guys are putting on a good enough show for the crowd, go ahead. You're part of this too. Buddy Mack is in sales. - They're also available shortly. It's a group check. - It's a group check. - That's roll. - That's roll. - I rolled an 18. - I can't tell which one you rolled. - 18. - Not this? - 18. - Okay. (laughter) - I'm still the roll you rolled. - As you rolled. - No. - Oh no. - No. You can tell by the shifting awkwardness of the crowd, this is not going well. (laughter) It's not over yet. There's still a chance to maybe rescue this performance if anyone wants to help. - I'm still running to Dan, call Sam. - You're going after Dan, call Sam? - Dan, I'm going up to High Cleric. - All bare man, you're the only person left who can turn this ship around. - Right. Let's see. Everything's going on. >> What kind of chandelier is it? >> It's a food-stone. It's croostone. It is connected to a whole bunch of wires and actuators. It seems like it is an integral part of the functioning of the ship. >> Okay, so that's moving on to Clamby. I suppose I'm going to hop up, flip onto the bar, come running, pull out a boomerang, and use it to crash the symbols as you're going. >> Nice. >> Okay. >> And I pull out a bell with my hand. >> I was obviously very off key of the beef, so maybe I'll be in the kitchen. >> Sure, I apparently have a bell, so I'm going to also then start trying to do a bell walk. It's in my inventory, I don't know. >> Caleb Dyson, why? >> He got the wrong side, Liam O'Brien. >> Signed by Sam Raige. I don't know why I signed it. >> He just put stuff in. >> We should all sign it. >> We'll do a spread. >> Hoping between the acrobatics, the bell, and otherwise I can just just grab it. >> You're hoping that you're going to save this performance single-handedly by playing a bell and smashing a symbol. >> With a boomerang. >> With a boomerang. All right, let's see if this works. I guess roll a performance check. >> All right, that show. >> I was that in an act. >> Yeah, we're not going that hard. >> Oh, God. >> We got this. >> Whoa, no. >> That's cocked. >> Nine. >> Can I make the attack to save the boomerang? >> Sure, go ahead. >> That's a solar. >> 13. >> If you're boomerang hit the symbols, yeah, hit. >> With a 13. >> Sure. It just makes a big old clang. >> And it falls on the field. >> That'll make it. >> It's one of them clang clang. >> Yeah, it's not great. >> It's not great. >> It's not great. >> The crowd doesn't quite know what to make of this performance. >> You know, I double checked. Can trips do not trigger the wild magic. >> Okay, not accidentally kill three people. >> Great, that's amazing. >> Okay, look at that. >> Five, two, one. >> Five, two, one. >> Five, two, one. >> It is a disaster. The crowd is not entertained. >> There's a lot of, there's like a single cough from the audience and no other reaction. >> We're just going through a plastic bag. >> Yeah, yeah, for candy. >> You, boy, I wanted to give you these, but I can't. And the meal sort of continues in a very awkward fashion with Flair Mont kind of scowling at you. >> You hear in the back of your head the words of Terry and Darylton sort of echoing in your ears as if a memory. Remember, you must take any opportunity to show off with the crowd. Your performance means the very future of the brigade. >> It's not going great, guys. >> Can I try something else? >> Sure. >> As we shouldly finish our musical performance, can I get up on the stage and start silently going through my monk movements and trying to do a visual performance at least and make it a -- >> Okay. >> Using the silence and amping it up. >> You are a monk. I would allow you to roll, I guess, again, performance check for that with advantage, though, because you're doing monk -- >> Don't monk check. >> Don't monk check. >> Super desperate modern dance. >> Yeah. >> Roll for dream ballet. >> Performance. >> Can it be acrobatics? >> Sure can. >> It's 20. Yay. >> That's really good. >> I'm going to move the crowd. It doesn't quite understand what's going on yet, but they seem interested in what you're doing. It's a step in the right direction. The movements seem to be enchanting and so deliberate and precise that they are attracting a few eyeballs, but you'll probably need more than that if you want to win the entire crowd of 100 people on your side. If anyone wants to win the crowd of 100 people on your side, if anyone wants to win the crowd, please go ahead and do it. - It wants to aid or-- - Just to die. - Yes, you're dying so much. - That's it, you're so-- - The one I rolled the one. - Missles, man. - Missles, I don't know, yet released. Not yet released. - Who in the audience looks to be the least impressed? - The least impressed? Well, obviously Arya is one of them, but Evangelion Frost is writing everything down, scribbling in her notebook, the bird lady, just scowling at this. A cast charm person on her. I walk up and with a hand onto my side, just go ahead and try and see if I can garner her. Sympathies onto our side. So is wisdom saving throw? - A bell of one day. - A bell of one day. - A bell of one day. - Go ahead and is this a saving throw? - Wisdom saving throw, okay, here she goes. She rolled an eight plus five because all my characters have a plus five for everything. (laughing) So that's a 13. - DC 12. (laughing) - So as I go to him, he'll be like, "Ah, fantastic performance, don't you think?" - No, I don't. Is this your people, Mr. Darrington? - I just run away. (laughing) - I just ran out of the room. - Just take the front. - Most friend. - Amazing, anyone else doing anything or are we just watching Farrow and Dance around silently and stage? - I'm a little bit trying to go get the name of the book. - Okay, you guys have gone out into the hallway to follow Dan Colt's nap. - Old nap! - You're calling out for Dan Colt's nap? He turns around his luchador mask facing your way. - Six hundred and six dollars! - Six dollars! - Six dollars! - Girls, what do you want? What do you want? - What's going on? Are you okay? I mean, you're such an incredible performer. I know what's going on with your voice. - I don't know, I don't know, honestly. I was feeling fine earlier today, but I, something happened in my voice. I need to find the doctor, the physicaler, and get some sort of-- - Let's go, I'll help you find Ravin Witch. Ravin, Vitch. - Vitch Ravin Witch. - You're a bit of a bit of a-- - Leroy, Robbie. - Leroy, bitch. - Yes. - Yes. - You're sure this isn't a case of cold feet? Just a little bit of stage fright? - Yeah, yeah, that's a thing. - And that's a stage fright. I'm one of the coolest performers I've ever seen. - You had made all of the legendary songs. Don't leave me here today. And of course, your famed theme song for the show, "Strains Children." - Yes, which is my favorite. - Yes. - Absolutely. - Yes, that famed-- - "Strains Children." - "Strains Children." - "Strains Children." - "Strains Children." - You know my work. - Of course, the best. - Amazing. - You're one of the greatest - "You, fan." - "You, fan." - "You, ch." - "You, ch." I don't have any stage fright, no? Something just suddenly came over me. I've lost my voice. I don't know what it could be. - All right, we need to take you to the doctor because I feel like something weird is going on. Can you see, can you touch your toes? - What? - Just gonna run a various tests, cognitive tests. - I, lean over, you can touch his toes. - Okay, I'm gonna put up a red sign and then the second of the tones green, you're gonna press it, all right? (laughing) - So you can really call cognitive tests. - I'm gonna run 'em through a couple cognitive tests. I'm gonna try some different stuff. - Yeah, he seems, the cognitive tests that you're running through, he seems distracted, he seems ill, he seems like, why don't you roll a medicine check to see what's going on? - Can I, I'll age you in that. - Sure, eight away. - So roll with advantage. Oh, it was the same, but that's okay, medicine. Nine. - Oh boy. - It's not what I do with the best. I'm just gonna give 'em a healing word. - Great, along with this. He appreciates it and, oh, that helps a lot. My voice is still a bit messed up, but I don't feel as bad. So thank you for that. What was your name again? - Hazel, Hazel Copperpot. - Yes, thank you. - Inventor of the Hazel Copperpot, 3000. - 3000, I know it well. Yes, we bards know each other very well. Although I've been using the cold snap 4000, I don't know. - He pulls out a small box. - When he starts getting closed, Hazel, I'm just gonna say, I don't breathe on it. You know what, I don't want her to get sick. - You followed me. (laughing) - That's a very good point. (laughing) - It continues. - Oh, yes. He has a magical silver disc that he pops into a small box and closes the door and it starts spinning. (laughing) - And makes a tinny sound of a song. - Strange kids. Strange kids. - For children. (laughing) - It's a fact, similarly, of his famous song, but it is producing a pretty good sound, and it's a much more compact number than yours. - Oh, Hazel. - What? What? - I would like to know the same thing. Where did you get the idea from that? You know, this is copy-written intellectual property over here. - Copper, copper-written? - Yep. Copper-written. - Uh-huh. - You know what? - They can be say, "Hey, it's on copper-pot." - 'Cause you run it. - Of course. - Yes. - Um. - Is it? - Just dealin' my idea. Dan. - So what if I did? What are you gonna do about it? - You're security on this ship. You're not a performer. - I'm gonna grab it. I'm gonna grab the cold snap 4,000 out of his cold dead hands. - Let's make it in dead hands. - Sentested strength roll? - Come on, no, you know what I'm gonna do? - I'm gonna kill him. (laughing) - I'm gonna fuck you kill him. - That's the best security gun ever. - Yeah, I'm gonna snatch it out of his hand. - Are we gonna take him out one by one? - I see. - I don't fully understand what we're doing. - You want to go all the way? - I'm technically, I'm technically. - You protect people from getting killed by strangers if you kill them yourself. - That's true. - Is this true? Is this great logic? - The Daron Timbergade Darker is run. - Yeah. - I'm gonna snatch it out of his hand. - All right, just send strength roll. - He's gonna try to hold it tight. - Crying, oh my god. - 14? - 11. - Oh. - You grab it from his cold dead hands. You grab it from his cold snap hands. And you have the cold snap 4,000. - The fort even realizes it's in my hand. - That's mine. - How did you, we got a reverse engineer this. - Run. - What? - I've run away. Run away with the cold dead hands. - I give it a taste. She ran, I just stay there. - Ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting. - Your friend just stole my thing. You stole my thing. - He's the thing. - Help. - Which is, we got it. You want to see the doctor. - Oh. - Where's the doctor? - I thought it thinks it's buddy and I start. - It's about now that I should point out that as I ran out and like set on the wall because I cast Charm Person, it does finally trigger the wild magic surge. And for the next minute, any flammable, not in the magical objects I touch that aren't being worn or carried, person to flame. - Oh my God. How could you have fucked this up so bad? (laughing) - What do you mean? (laughing) - I'm going off the script. (laughing) - Oh no. (laughing) - Oh no. (laughing) - Oh boy. Okay, so anything that you touch, I think it's burning. - For the next minute, anything that's not worn and if it's flammable. - Are you touching anything? - I think I'm probably run out of the hallway and like, I don't know the go-of-right boys see hails are running this way and they go, "Oh, thank goodness for my hand." I'm one of the hallway curtains. - Tapestries and curtains? Okay, it catches on fire. That's amazing. - So you're running backwards your friends and you see that Ferris has set the room on fire. - Hazel. - New guy? - Oh no. - I tried to pan it. - Good fan it. Fan it's a good thing. (laughing) (laughing) - That's fast. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - What do you do? What do you do? - He's like the walls on fire. (laughing) Make it sound. (laughing) - It's like it's at the grain bowl. Everyone's still very curiously watching Farrow and prance around like a room. But someone in the back of the room yells, "Fire, fire, fire!" And everyone turns to see smoke billowing through the door that you all left out of. - Oh no. - As the fire spreads from one tapestry to two in the hallway. - I turn to the nearest person who's yelling fire and I cast blindness on them. - What? - What? (laughing) - They won't yell fire if they can't see it. - It's not a kill, Hazel. (laughing) - It has to take her out. - Listen. - Oh no. - The logic is there. - That's not true. - Okay, finally there's a thing I can do. Well, yeah. - Buddy sees flames and understands that. - Yeah. - Where it changes, it goes, oh, oh, that's not good. And he just starts chucking towards the fire out the door, playing no regard to Mack up top. So we probably take a little knock to the head through the doorway. And then I'm going to use my massive size to just like press into the fire and like hopefully snuff it out. Okay, this is great. Use, I don't even know what to roll here. This is some sort of a constitution check. Let me look here, not anally. - You're pulled out. - You're smothering fire with your body. Let's just do a straight constitution check. - That's a miracle. - Jesus. - I'm so evil. - Well, I'm just great. - This was great. - Oh my God. - Oh my God, go ahead. I, yeah. - Just, yeah. - I want to know how this works out before I do anything. I'm just too excited by how this fails. - Buddy is on fire. (laughing) - He's stumbling around setting everything else on fire. (laughing) - Toss my Everlight Temple aside and spring into action. - What is that? - How do you spring into action? - I haven't gotten that far. (laughing) I run and I grab a couple table cloths as I make my way straight to the door with this moat. - Great. - And I'm going to smother buddy and put them out. - You as you run, you grab these two table cloths and you run by-- - I've got you! - Someone from the audience, someone from one of the passengers who is saying, "Oh, I can't see anything. "What I, there was a fire and I'm sure there still is." But I also can't see now. (laughing) - That seems like a problem for later. (laughing) - There was a fire. I think it's still there. - I feel heat. (laughing) - I smell it, I get a hear. - I get smell, it's so-- - I feel the heat and I hear the commotion around me. - People are screaming. - It really tastes like fire. But now I'm also blind. (laughing) - Oh. - That's a great reaction. - Why? (laughing) - All right, you've made it out to the hallway. The fire is spreading on buddy and the taverns trees. - I'm gonna start by trying to put buddy out with the tablecloth. - While you're that's going on, I'm gonna grab some pictures of water. I'm seeing from the stage. I'm gonna run by a rapid water. (laughing) - Please. - Cook water on the fire. - Yeah, it goes out instantly. (laughing) (laughing) - Flair mod comes running out. What happened? Did you-- he sees you-- there's a burning fire-- - That's wrong. - It cold snap is sick. - There is an arsonist on the loose. But we, a security, manage to take care of the fire immediately and we'll find the one responsible. Do not worry. - Yes, there's chaos. - Absolutely chaos. - It's cold snap. Thank God we were here. - Cold snap made fire. (claps) (laughing) - We're gonna have to kill Hazel. We're gonna have to fuck it, kill. (laughing) We're sure we're gonna have to show violence today. (laughing) - Shit, that is a rather strong accusation we're making. A cold snap has been a famous performer through wild mounts and beyond for years and years. - And you also being the fire techniques? - He fled. And shortly thereafter, the fire broke out. Persuasion. Both of you. - Gorth of 10. - Gorth of 10. - Come on. (claps) - Okay, okay. - Come on. - National 19 for a 23. - Oh, okay. - 19 for a 19. - Okay. - Flair Mont, itching for a scapegoat. Wheels on cold snap. You, how dare you do this to me. I don't quite understand why yet. (laughing) Since I'm paying you a huge sum to be here and perform for me. Why would you do this? But we will get to the bottom of this. Security. - Indeed. - Or rest this man. - Oh my god, Bobbi. - Adam. - Adam. - Next to cold snap. Hey, Mauritius Vex. Dice or Life. - Yeah. - Yeah. - She's been rolling. She's been rolling hot, bit, hot, bit, hot. - They're hurting. - Are they? I'm just, those are very beautiful. - Just your dice. - Yeah. - I'm like, they're the. - It takes this man to the ballast room downstairs. We would hold him there for a six foot floor. - Oh, they're the three feet. - But it's got him lifted in the air like three feet off the ground. - Cold snap is not a fighter. He doesn't resist. I mean, he's struggling and he's cursing. What are you doing to me? Why are you doing this to me? - What like your music? - Thank you, but. - Come on. - We're gonna get you better. - Okay, and you take. - What's not? - You take him down to the ballast room to sort of. - It's on the lowest deck. - Expans. - Expans, yes. - You guys are the bottom of this. - The one thing you guys have learned is the names of the decks. (all laughing) - That's the field, Sam. - All the flaring. - That's the field. - Not a great mat. - Not a great mat. - Skip, skip, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete. - Delete. - What? (all laughing) - Okay. - Well the Vaxel Dan dice that's over $450. - Yay! - Yay! - How do we go Monday? - We go Monday. All right, so we go and we put him down in the brig. - No windows, one door. It's a dark dank storage room with drums of sand and large stones for counterweights to keep the ship balanced. There's boxes of spare rigging and bags of salt and sugar stored in there, but not much else. You are in the ballast room with cold snap who is still confused and irritated that he's being brought down here. What is going on? Why have you brought me down here? I didn't start the fire. It was always burning since this ship's been flying. (all laughing) - One has to wonder why you got up on stage. Not ready to sing. You would think being cold snap you would have warmed up. (all laughing) - I did, it was very cool. - Oh god, I heard it now. - We're gonna level with you. We're part of a super secret security force that's been tasked with protecting you and pulling you in here is the only way to keep you safe. - Go on. - Yes, you're actually a high value target. And that means we have to strip you of all your niceties, put you in here and throw all of the key. That way, no one has access to you. - You'll be safe in here. - The minute you leave here, you'll wind up dead and bleeding on the deck. There are many individuals on this ship that want to see you kaput. - That's a throat cut. - You're very safe here. I think you should say. - Is that why my voice suddenly went out? Someone is trying to poison me or throwing off my game. - Most poisons take three or four doses to actually kill you. - How is your throat messed up here? - You drink anything, if you don't have anybody. - Lessor restoration on them. - As you do. Oh, thank you. Oh, I thought it really helps. - Yes, there was something had been put on me. I don't know by whom, but. - Do you feel like it was something you wait? Something you drank or you feel like that happened to you just in an instant? - I don't recall. I boarded the ship. I, we were all handed champagne flutes when we boarded. - We have champagne? - No. - You work here. - Oh, you stole stuff. (laughing) - What is, are you gonna offer us any? - They is you. (laughing) - You're the employees of the ship. - Whatever, we'll get that out. Move on from there. What are you, what are you? So you had your champagne? - My champagne, I made conversation with a couple of the higher profile VIPs and then it was time for my performance. I warmed up downstairs, everything felt fine until I got on stage and then something went horribly wrong. - I noticed the same thing happened to us. We normally perform really well and lately we've been doing like, shite jobs. Real bad, shite. - Speak to yourself. - It's so Irish. (laughing) - Do you think there really is some sort of dark force that work on this vessel? - Most confidently, is the truth. You think the rudder body there would whisper, oh. - I'm a beloved performer. - Oh right. - Everybody loves me. I did this crazy 24 hour marathon thing. Everybody seemed to like it. (laughing) - Do you have any previous relations with any of the passengers that happened to be on this ship? - I've performed at most of their home's functions. I've met most of the VIPs before. Why is there someone specifically interested in? - No, I'm just trying to get to, what macaroni was saying. Is there anybody out here that hasn't even been here? - And you know, has any ill will towards you? - I mean, I can't say anyone specifically, but why don't you roll, just roll an insight check to see if he's concealing it. - Great. - Wonderful, 23. - Whoa. - Okay, yes, you do get the sense that he is being a little cagey about something, he won't, he's concealing something. - Let me say something. I feel like you're being a little cagey with me. I feel like you're hiding something. You want to spit it out? - I'm not, you, you. - We can't keep you safe unless you are honest with us. - There it is, Terry. - Wow. That was, that was good. All right, listen. I overheard some conversation earlier. Between two of the passengers, they were talking about, they were talking about, they're talking about the broomstone. If it had any weakness or when it would be guarded, I didn't really think anything of it. I asked what they were talking about, and they said not to think about it too much, and they said sort of, just carry on about your day. And I was worried that the ship might be unsafe and that they had noticed some sort of flaw in the propulsion of the vessel. - Who was it that was safe? - Well, there was two people speaking. It was this dragon-born woman, and she was speaking to a Flair Monsman. Yes, Dorn, yes. - Dorn. - Elias Thorn. - And the dragon-born lady. - Multures dragon scales? - I would describe him as more of like a milky white. - Yeah, but sometimes when they get in the light, there's like some things that you can't follow. - They have very beautiful faces, but the ship is interesting. (laughing) - We appreciate this information. - Which one was that? - We do. - Terry and Darrington, and his Darrington regained, we'll get to the bottom of this. You keep low, keep out of sight, keep quiet, or you will be murdered, bloody. - And just as you say that, the door to the ballast room slams shut behind you. Three locks are thrown. - Oh, all of us. - Plunging the room into pure darkness, and that's where we'll go to break. (laughing) - Oh boy, I think we found the story. (laughing) - Yes. - We're locked in a room with the plot. - Damn it! (laughing) - They caught us. - A room with the plot. - Sam, yeah. (cheering) - Alive. - Alive. - That's something most insanity we've had on our plates in a minute. - Oh my god. - Larry. - Am I there? Am I in the room? - I'm running down to shame. - No, we ain't. - I think we all had to go. - We ran you. - We should officially send a break, so this guy can-- - Oh wait, oh wait, - Didn't I do that? - Do it again. - Send to break. (laughing) - Well, hello there. This is Liam O'Brien, popping in here to thank all the incredible artists that help bring our stories to life. We are continuously amazed at the artwork this community creates on the regular. That's why every Thursday at 8 AM Pacific, we share a curated gallery of submitted fan art over at critroll.com. If you'd like to submit your art for consideration, head over to critroll.com/submit. Seriously, we love to see all the incredible pieces you talented artists create. Thank you. (upbeat music) - It's been quite-- - It's been quite a couple days, guys. We've raised so much for charity. I actually don't know how much. - 70 something. - No, it's more than that now, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - For that now. - We should probably have asked during the long break. (laughing) - We lived-- - We have it up way, way, way curbs. - It's for gypsies. - It's working on it. - 79,000. (cheering) - Come on, let's go. - It's like 70, so-- - I feel like we can hit 80. - Yeah, we can. - For sure. - We're gonna do it right now. - We're gonna do dry. - Come on. - Okay, where did we leave off? - Oh, yes. - We're in the dark room. - But I'll sign it with a paint pen when I get a paint pen. - Uh-huh. - All right. - Thank you. - Apparently. - We're back on the show where the Darrington Brigade with good old Ferris. - I'm gonna say flimsy. - I don't want to insult you. - Uh, has been posing as Terry and Darrington and has gotten the Darrington Brigade in a bit of a pebble. (laughing) - You guys have found yourselves locked in the ballast room with a guy you tried to rob. You did rob. (laughing) - You stole it from me first. - Then accused Arson. - And then begged him to help you solve a case. - I didn't cheat. - I did. - You gotta make it fool you did. - Because Dave Hewef, I'm sorry, Dan Coltsnapp is a nice guy. And he sees a kindred spirit in you guys. He sees that you guys are strange children just like he is. - Yeah. - You trying to endure us too? - It's too late. - I locked in a room with you if you want to kill him you can. (laughing) - There's nothing left. - There's seven of you and he's not. - Yeah, he's locked in the other room and I've stats for him. - Does anybody know how to block sir like knock through the door? - It's pitch black in here. - I cast light. - I have blind sight. - You look through the darkness. Terrain that you are familiar with because it is the same color as your heart. - That's true. - And then-- - And Shadow is cast. - Light gets cast right in front of your front door. (laughing) - So, we're in the game. - We'll be sharing this game. (cheering) - Incredible. - It's a dank dark storage room. It's now not dark anymore. It is just dank. And yeah, the door is locked. It's a metal door. - We're stuck here forever. We might as well start procreating. - I start to smash the door with my favorite strength. - Yeah, amazing. - Let's do it. - Roll to hit. (laughing) - Hitch. (groaning) - What do I-- is that they see this door? A super low AC or over 19? - Sure. - You're gonna hit the door. Yeah. - What kind of damage do you do? (groaning) - I do. - 1d4 plus 9. (laughing) What did you say 1d4 plus 9? - 2. - It is 12 points of bludgeoning damage. - Great, the door is bent. It's still on its hinges. It's not damaged enough to pry it open. - No. - Yet, but it is damaged. - Two more. - We're stuck. - I have a flute in my inventory. Like, it's in my art that I was playing a flute. I couldn't fucking play to flute. - Sure. - Is that gonna help? - Yeah, that would have helped a lot. - I'm gonna play the flute right now. - Or any of the instruments that-- - Oh, I could have done this earlier. Maybe to open the door. - Oh, okay. You play a melody on the flute, hoping to coax it over, open with the magic of just music. - A green of time. - All right, roll up performance check. - Great. - Oh, Dan, can't snap. - Good. - Great. - The door is first. - Oh, that's excellent. 26. - Is it a magical flute? - Nope. - Nope. - No. (laughing) - Or just-- - Or peaceful now. - Yeah, it's such a nice song. Dan Coltsnap is like, I wish I could record this on my Coltsnap 4000, but he took it from me. - I snap in a new wax cylinder. Let's start recording it in real time. - You're, you're spiteful recording? - It's a little. Anything to say for yourself, Coltsnap? - I'm sorry, I stole your technology. It's just, it's advanced. I just feel like the future is physical media. - I agree. It's what I've been saying for years. - People are going to want to own music and have it on physical disk. Cool. (laughing) - I'm examining the door. - It's still on its hinges? It's bent a little. - I'm going to use, well, the lock I think is already broken. I think I'm just going to use the wisdom of the bear and remove the hinges from the door. Bears are very clever. - Bairs. - Bairs are going to go fuck themselves. - They say that business is just fucking marketing. - There's one thing that bears now, it's a door hinge. - It's hinges. "You use wisdom of the bear." Which is a strength check. I'm just going to-- (laughter) "Straight up, straight up, strength check." "Yes, please." "14 on a straight strength check." Okay. What does Al-Bairman to fuel the rage that he feels and the desperation to get out of this blackness that is consuming you? What memory does he think of? What moment from his life? What wrong? What tragedy? What trauma fuels him? He thinks about the letter. That letter that was delivered. What? Just six months ago. From. Bairman's owl and porium, demanding that he stop using the chain. Oh, bearman. (laughter) They even came and took his trusty sidekick, Al-Bair Horse. (laughter) He's had to walk to Terry's house ever since. (laughter) It was more than a vehicle that was his friend. (laughter) No! Just a scratch. Just hitting it with his fist. Oh, I'm just-- Just so angry, I didn't just attempt to snap it. But, specifically at the hinges. Yeah, yeah, basically. Just-- (laughter) The darkness, the rage, the injustice. Fuelling him, Al-Bairman kicks through the door. It lands in a heap, the dust clearing, the way open. Well, like, do you guys-- We will-- Yeah, no. You didn't guys. (laughter) Don't leave me, 'cause I'm here to destroy the hinges of litigation. Oh! (laughter) Run! Okay, the door's open. What would you like to do? I shut it, I lock it. (laughter) Well, is there any sign sent in the air that might connotate a person who locked it on us? Oh! Oh, wow, that's her. I'm sent in the air, do you have heightened senses? No. I'm just a question. Oh, cool. I guess just roll the perception check. Is it still dark in the hallway? No, no, the hallway's light. What about the illusion? I was about to say, yeah. Are there footsteps? Can I look for clues? Yes, everyone do investigation. You can do investigation check if you're looking. 13. 13. I mean, you can still smell the faint scent of smoke from the ballroom fire. There doesn't seem to be any distinct odor yet. Four. You see small indentations in the carpet. It could be someone who was walking or running earlier. They lead down the hall of the deck. 16. Oh, no, you killed, 23. Yeah, I killed, kill it. Yes, you also see those same footprints. Footprints, I see footprints. And you see a small tear of a bandage on the ground. It's got the Al Bear Man logo on it or part of it. That's in Shady Kunt. You know it was her. I told you she was a Shady Kunt. Yes. I think this is her. Can I? She wasn't Shady. And then we pissed her off. And now she's Shady. Oh. I agree. You're not Shady Kunt. I should have counted. Yeah. You guys are gathered there talking about this? I'm not. I'm not Shady Kunt. Okay. Can I listen back to my audio recording and enhance? I'm going to lower the bases. I'm going to mid-the highs. I'm going to give rid of the lords. I'm just going to get that trimmel in my shirt. I'm going to get that trimmel in my shirt. She's got a butter knife. I couldn't find anything. What is this recording? I'm sorry. When I was recording just now to see if I could pick up any whispers in the distance. Like anything like if I could hear. It hats. Okay. Roll. This is horset. It might help us figure out the person we already figured out it is. So let's try it. Maybe I can pick up her voice. Sure. You know, pick up her voice signature. Her imprint. Yes. What am I doing? You're rolling a investigation check. I'm just a healing plasma from her scratch. Right. For voice. Five. Very deep in the audio you hear the faint sound of. This is the ear. It is me. All real. I have walked into the door. Here I go. I'll play on the video. It's so reckless. I don't think I liked it enough. I'm going to go back and lock it even more. I hate this guy so much. What is this on my arm? Let me take off banded and throw it on ground. Hold on. I know this will keep them in there long times. I can't do my plans. I never know what the figure out that was me. Hold on. That was a fine. That's what you got. No, 20. I took it. She takes this all off. I put it through my speakers. And when you hear it was me. I already are a larry. And then I use that as the leading before I drop the bass. Are you a larry? Are you a larry? Dan cold snap. Dan cold snap joins in. He hears this fat beat and bass drop. And he grabs his cold snap 4,000 and sort of tethers it to your Copperpot 3,000 and he adds a high end frequency. This is the Namćun string bass, does natural lui sing drum and bass. So just as you guys are just horsing around doing bullshit, flare moth comes running up down the hall with Captain Matt Damon. Are you taking pictures right now? I'm trying to rescue the water. I can hear the cackling of the crew has never been louder. I'm just going to cut down that. Alright. Slayer moth, Matt Damon and a couple of beefy pecans run up and say he is him. He is the one who knocked me down and stole my scepter. He arrest Terry and Darington. I did no such thing. You notice that Flair moth has a big bruise on his eye and the scepter that he was carrying in the big ballroom is gone. His clothes are torn and his cat faces all scratched up. You did this to me Terry and Darington. We were a lot of liest dorn anywhere. Not there. We've been down in the lower decks. We were stopping a very talented fire starter and we're returning to help after we freed him. Why is the door off the hinges? Why have you destroyed my ship in multiple places? I get this by whom you are security. That's crazy! There have been accusations brought to my attention that you are an imposter. How do we know that you are who you say you are? Ask me any question about my adventures and I can answer them for you. All right. He has started. He's beginning to believe. Which book came after the things they carried? Was it 50 Shades of Terry? Or The Blonde Hair of Courage? It looks over. He looks over and I tell him what he wanted. I like wink out. What do you think? What's a wink out? You're more scoding it with your eyes. I'm more scoding it with my eyes. Telling him what one it is. This is one solid iris. I'm just like really trying to get the thought to him. It's that one. How do I know that one? Do you have any magical spell mechanists? Or any sort of anything besides vibes? He's can't. Emphasis on can't. Can I make a checkering? Yes, you can make a history check. A Malamaga history check. I will use a luck point. I'm using words to say pubes. That's going to be 14. You have done some research. I've read them all. You've read them all and you know for a fact that not 50 shades of Terry and it was not The Blonde Hair of Courage. That's a trick question. You know that it was the Adventures of Huckle Terry Finn. What a forcing. It was the Adventures of Huckle Terry Finn. I wrote it myself. Says every author. I would assume so. Yes, you are. I'm not myself. I'm not a 10-man. I'm a 10-man. How's that? How's that? Well, you know I was a real Terry-insent who knocked me down and stored my scepter just a moment ago. We will find them as the security on the ship, but you must have a side and trust in us so we can stop them for no one else in the ship can. I got that scepter. Darington Brigade, unite. Engage? Engage. That's it. Forward. I've drew a group persuasion check. We're all persuading. Well, I mean, you're all doing this. Yeah. 21. 21. 9. You're not a 10-man. Don't know what you roll. No, I'm not. I'm a 11. I'm ignoring all buddy rolls from here on. 23. Oh, yes. 23. 21. 12. Okay. I'm going to get the first round. 23. 23. 21. 21. Uh-huh. Something hard. And five. Boy, it really is. It's down to you. You're the typebreaker. What did you roll? Oh, shit. I'm telling you. But 9 plus 2 is 11. You passed. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. But 9 plus 2 is 11. You passed. (cheering) - I'm sorry, I ever doubted you, says Flair Mont. They went that way down up one deck towards the Grand Ball room. - Thank you, Mr. Firmin. We will see the George Ship and those upon it are kept safe. - Why did you say safe like that? - Because. - Safe like that. (laughing) - Okay, off you go. As you guys run down the hall, you feel a giant shimmy of the ship as it lists to one side. Let's all do it together. (cheering) - So the whole ship is vibrating in a. (laughing) It's just vibrating. And yes, you don't know where it's coming from. Where would you like to go? - The ballroom, to where is the ballroom? - Okay, you rush to the ballroom as fast as your little legs can carry you. You get to the ballroom where you just sort of left. It has been cleared out because all the guests left at the first sign of fire. But except as you approach the ballroom, you pass in the hallway one passenger and elderly man. - So for $630. (cheering) - An elderly man who says to you, please, please help me. I can't see anything. I don't know where I am, everyone ran away. - He went. - The spell literally lasts like 60 seconds. This is his problem now. (laughing) - I don't know. (laughing) - So just wait there for like 40 more seconds, you'll be fine. - I've been down and I wipe the thick gravy in his eyes. (laughing) - I can see. - Indeed you can. This miracle brought to you by Terry and Daryngton and Daryngton regained and I push him aside and we keep running. - I remember this moment. (laughing) Push him to the ground and you keep running. (laughing) He hits his head and he goes blind. (laughing) - No. - You keep running. (laughing) - I think you can do that. - You're so much of a person. - But you're like we're heroes. - Okay, he's. (laughing) - I help him. (laughing) - Now, now be on your way. (laughing) - He's your own way. - Be careful. - Be, but remember, the Daryngton brigade saved. - I will always remember this day and well you treated me. - I do press the digitization to make one of those halos kind of above her. - I will tell you a story wherever I go as long as I live. - Yeah. - He runs down the hall alive. (laughing) - Oh, that's it. (laughing) - Beautiful. (laughing) - He didn't get us there. - Taking the time from the story. - Two days later he dies tragically. (laughing) - Unrelated to any of this. (laughing) - A runaway cart runs him over. - Oh my god. (laughing) - That's what I'm gonna say. - Very kind of way. - I know what. - I know what you're gonna say. Kind of way. You don't need that, man. (laughing) We weren't so much on your own. - You can't even get those three hours of gameplay when we're cutting to two days for Mal. (laughing) - Back to friends. (laughing) - Oh yes, your active kindness was so amazing that it earned you something special from the DM. For, for die that you can use as inspiration whenever you need them. - We got them. - They all have a mat's face on them. - Wait, what? - They were sent specifically for us. (laughing) - We were. - That's so cool. - These are one of the kind Matt inspiration dice made by, I don't remember who, dispelled dice. - This is dispelled dice. - Wait, you can bid on these guys. - Did this? - You can bid on these right now. - Yes you can. - You don't get to keep them. One of them. You can bid on one of them right now. - One is right in his mouth. - Oh, one at a time. - Okay, okay. - These are awesome. - Do we wanna just go ahead and give these all to Marisha for her murders tonight? - Yes. - Sit on the table. - You enter the grand ballroom and find that it has been transformed into wild, bip, bip, bip, bip, bip. Oh look, Omar's doing something cool. (laughing) - He's beginning to believe. - You enter the grand ballroom to find that it has been transformed into wild terrain. Flaremont Scepter lays shattered on the ground near the main doors. There's a strangely, do a perception check. - Yes. - As you walk in. - Natural twin. - Great. - What do you do? - Natural 20. - Whoa. - Yeah. - 21, 10. - Al Bearman and Mack see a couple different things. One, Mack spots right away a canvas lying face down on the ground. It's strange because it looks like a beautiful and fresh canvas, but it's sort of on its side. And Al Bear spots nearby a collection of shart van cleafs, magical paints and paintbrushes strewn about in a haphazard way. You all see that the room, this magical grand ballroom that was just once Ferris's hometown has been transformed into a wild landscape of mushrooms, trees, moss, husks of trees and mounds of dirt across the space is the largest piece of broomstone. - Soul frame 76. - Soul frame 779. - Whoa. - It's very amazing. - Amazing. - So sorry. There is that large piece of broomstone still in the center of the room, but it is now not part of a chandelier. It has been knocked to the ground. It's still glowing. It's still attached to wires and actuators and levitators, but it has been slightly damaged, which you assume is what the rocking of the ship was as these pieces of broomstone keep the ship afloat. In fact, I can show you what this room's now been transformed into, KO, bring out that map. - Whoa. - Oh yeah, okay, we got it. - Oh. - Yay. - Yay. - Help him, help him, help him, help him. - Amazing, amazing. - Oh my gosh. - We'll find her optical. - Yes, sir. - Good. - Good. - Okay. (laughing) - Nice day, else. - Nice day, else. - Okay, okay. Oh shoot, I might need one more. I'll figure it out later. Okay, you walk into the, - Is this the right? - Yes, see if you can. - The right orientation, yes. - Orientation, yeah. - Orientation, yeah. - Oh boy, I hit the mic, sorry. You guys walk in from this side of the room. - Where would you like to put your minis? There is-- - Oh wow, buddy. - Buddy. - This is Mac, - Mac, you can come on top. - Okay, I'll just put you next to the camera now. Here is Hazel Copperpots. Where do you guys-- - Yeah, yeah, where are we? - Here is, it doesn't look like Terry, and it looks like Ferris, but you're there to Ferris. - Yeah, I'm great right there. We have the Albert Man. - Albert Man is, I think, trying to get up that tree. - Yeah, like, yeah, right up there. Yeah, pretty to go. - Very good. (laughing) - Ferro and Breeze, what an extra design. And we've got Damien Vodoma. - All right, I'm gonna go the other side of Hazel Copperpot. - Oh, yeah, there we go. - Okay, great. You've walked into the room, and you see the strangest sight. I don't have two of him, so I'm gonna use two different minis for it. You see the strangest sight. You see Terry and Darrington standing right here. - Terry? - Terry and Darrington, and another figure that he can't quite make out is beyond in the back of the room, closer to the broomstone. - What's happened here? This isn't the ballroom anymore. - Hey you guys. (laughing) - All right. - No, that dad is an imposter. Legitimately. (laughing) - Me, I am no imposter. You are the imposter. - Impossible imposter. - How dare you? - Oh shit. (laughing) - My whole shit just restarted. (laughing) - That's all good. - Everybody look at Omar. - It's okay. Then, suddenly, another voice calls out. This is a bad mini, but it's another Terry and Darrington. - What? - No, you both are imposters. How dare you? - I knew both. (laughing) - What? How are we supposed to know who's who? - Both Terry and Darrington's look at you with malice in their eyes. Anything you guys want to do? - Well they could change the appearance of this room. So could they not change the appearance of themselves? - Let's knock out both of them just to be safe. - It's a very good point. - I'm ready to just go. - I would like to rage. - Let's all go. - We're all for initiative. - Let's go. - All right. - Woo! - Okay. - Oh no, I rolled high. - Oh, shit, I rolled low. (laughing) - Let's do this. Okay, 25 for 20. - Oh boy. - 15 to 20. - 16. - 17. - 15. - 19. - Ooh. - I'm not going to Samsung that. - Hazel. - Hazel. - Hazel buddy. - Seven. - Final number seven. - Buddy, wait, who was 15? Sorry. - Nah, I'm Mait Flamsy. - Flamsy. - Flamsy. - Flamsy. - 10 to 15. - 14. - 10. - 10. - Oh, there. - Your name is Damien. Five to 10. - Eight. - Oh man. - All right, backwards. - Eight is Farrowin. And, okay. Anybody else? No, that's everybody, right? Okay, it is Terian Darrington's turn first. - Which one? - This one. He's going to move, five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, and cast a spell at you. - That's contrary of Darrington. - He's going to cast a spell at, where is, okay. He is going to cast a spell at you, Terian Darrington. - No. Let's see here, sorry, sorry, sorry. What is it? Okay, sorry. Make a wisdom saving throw. - I shall. Oh, that's a 19. - Okay, you feel a hot magic gripping your head, meaning to control you, but you resist. Resist its effects, you shake it off. Terian Darrington looks at you, perplexed and confused. Terian Darrington. The other, yes, and now it is, sorry, Hazel's turn. - My iPad just froze. - This is a Mac on first turn. Hang on. - I'm thinking Mac's up. - Oh, sorry, is this Mac? - It's a 17, but he got 19. - Oh, I'm so sorry, you should have gone first first. My bad, I forgot about Mac. - Well, it happened, right. Mac and me. - Anyway, go for it, Mac. - How do we play this game? (laughing) - I will run forward towards Teri. How many fucking feet? (laughing) 25 feet. - Yeah, you got there. - And I'm gonna, I'm going to, I'm gonna, yeah, I'm gonna use spiritual weapon. - Okay, what do you wanna do with the spiritual weapon? - Oh, la, la, la, la, la. I'm gonna summon it next behind Teri and give him an old smack with it. - Okay, got stuff for this somewhere. What is your spiritual weapon look like? - It is, it's a big cast of Buddy's face. It's a big, googly-eyed. - It's gonna look like this flaming sword. - Yep, sounds good. Spangled swords would have met. - And roll to hit. Is that how this works? Yes. - That is, plus three, 17. - 17 hits, yes. - I see. - That does a whopping five plus three, eight points of comet damage. - Comet damage? Great thing, I think it did a good job. - Great, as you hit Terian, his form flickers for a moment, but he maintains it. Next up is Hazel Copperpie. - All right, I'm going to run forward. I'm gonna split the difference between the two tails of the Teris. - Sure. - The bit of it, the bit of it, the bit of it somewhere around here, I don't know. And then I'm going to, I'm gonna cast Bane. - Okay, on which, on both? - Both Teris. - Okay. - Is there any other Teris? Just the two Teris, right? - So far, it's just the two Teris. - Is there just another figure? - It was the second Teri. - Okay, Teri too. - I'll go ahead and Bane. - I cast Bane, it's a charisma saving throw. - Yes, please, let's do it. - That's you. - Oh, that's me. - That charisma saving throw. 14. - Fail. - I'll roll for the other one. - Even worse. - Fail. - Fail, okay, they're both burned. - Maybe burned. - That means I have to roll a D4 and reduce it for everything I do, right? - Correct. - Okay, great. - And then I'm going to take my bonus action. - Bonus action. - Playing a battled drum beat. And I am going to cast, what about a Inspiration on Flimsy? - Talison's Molly Mark T. Leaf Dice set. The sign is now live. - There you go. - Go a bit on it. - What's that? - How do you inspire me? - You inspired? - I inspired. - I'm starting to get a nice drum beat, as I say, the two Teri and Poster's have no, I'm trying to do a Literation and I'm failing. - Hell, have nothing on the Real Teri. - Good, a little bit. - You are the Real Teri, the true Teri. - There is no room for a Triarian. - Hey. - On the contrary. - Oh. - Now we're getting into it. - I don't know. - You're inspired. - D6, D8. - D8. - In addition, you don't forget you got the D6 mat. - D6 is Seren's mat. - Mat, Inspiration's for saving the man. - Okay, so they bane the Nye in Spode. Okay, next up on the list is Buddy. - He just stands there for a second and says, "Why are we attacking the new guy?" - Bad new guys, that way. - That was bad, buddy. Cross-sham. - Oh. - And he will lumber forward and stand over Max space, so he's under my legs. - Oh. - Hi. - Then I just look kind of, he would technically be in the same spot. - Yep, so I can't do that, though. And I'll just look down at the Terry and Frontman, so I'm sorry, new guy. - And I pull on this chariot, there's two levers, and he pulls one and there's sort of like a little Frankenstein rod with a crystal at the top, and the crystal fires and crackles of electricity, and a streak of lightning blasts through Contrarian Darington one and Contrarian Darington two. - Oh, the line of the line. - Nice job. - This is something. - This is the lightning bolt. - Terry and Darington made for Buddy. - Oh wow. - That is 8d6. - Ooh. - And I have to roll to save. - Dex save, yes. Dex save, this one's good. That's at 21, and this one is a 15. - A 15? I don't know if the DC ready, but I'm sure that's higher, so we'll say they take half damage. - Half damage, so four decent. Or, - 86 have. - Yep, yep, yep. - Damn. - That dice just went for 1,325 dollars. - This is a long, maybe, - Great. - Great, great. - 22, 24. So half damage is 12 points of lightning damage to both of the contrairions. - Okay, the first contrairian Darington, his form flickers and falls. Now he is now revealed to be none other than, what was her name? (laughing) - Arielle Olaani. - She claims to be a turd. - It's the chat came over their name. Arielle Olaani. - Arielle Olaani. - Yes, Arielle Olaani. - Is the front, is the first. - Arielle Olaani. - Terry and Darington, and you all notice that she is not holding a weapon, but she is holding a large square canvas in her hand. Okay, next up is Flamsy. - It's hard to believe. - Oh, that's right, that's right, here. I think as soon as they kind of fall back, are she unconscious or just like lost the form? - She just lost the form. - I'm like, "Maha Imposta!" (laughing) I'm gonna go ahead and, first, let's see, I'm gonna go ahead and cast scorching ray at her and the other Terry and Darington. - Get it. - Coming out swinging. - Yeah. - Technically, it says I can spend a sorcery point as twin spell to increase it as a higher level to target an additional creature. Technically, it says create two additional rays, but those two additional rays could target it into their creature. Would you say that I could do that? - I will say yes to anything. (laughing) - Good, I'm gonna work in my favor. All right, so. - Let me go to bed. (laughing) - So with that, it's going to be, so there's three rays become four rays. - Yes. - I'm gonna put two rays on the one in front of me and two rays on the one in the back then. - Right, blast away. - All right. - It's to save for me or is this attack free? - I know some me rolling to hit them. - Okay great. - So this is a plus four attack modifier on them. - Okay. - 19 for the first one. - Matt Face Dice. - Matt Face Dice. - Matt Face Dice. - Matt Face Dice. - 24. - 24. - 24 in the second. - Hit. - They're both hit the, this are, are you are, are you? - Are you sure? - Are you sure? - 18 on the other one? - Hit. - And. - Dang, 18. - Hit. - Okay. - Limsey is not flimsy any. - No. - Just screams out. - Nine. - And eight. - That's gonna be 17 points of fire damage on Ariariara. Ariariara Oxenfreeden. - Okay, great. - And the one in the back takes, woof. - 10. - 17 points of fire damage. - Amazing. - Limsey in the back also drops his form and you see the Butler Dorn is back there behind them. Also holding a big piece of rectangular canvas in his hand. - Can we see the canvas at all? - Sure do a perception check. - Yeah, just what? It's a 15. - What's his name? Scarf. - Shark Bonc. - Shark Bonc. - Boncly. - It's a shark bonc. It is a shark bonc leaf. Shark bonc leaf is an incredible painter of many things. - Fuck. - He's a splatter painting. Splatter painting technique. But he's able to create hyper realistic landscapes, but also he loves to paint pictures of old monsters and ancient creatures. And this seems to be a monster from legend and is beautifully rendered. The one that Dorn is holding back here, that's the one you looked at, looks like a dragon of some sort. - It's one of Grace, Jim Seed's biggest inspirations. - Shark Bonc. - Yeah. - What if paintings are trapping the beast? - Yeah. - What would you like to do? - Is that inspiration on the VR wall? - And Albert is next, but are you done flims? - I'm gonna let it pass. I think flims you could do more flimsies. I feel like, I can't believe we did that. - It's amazing. - The top flims! - But he looks at his hands after the produced fire and rumors flashing back, and setting the whole way on fire goes, "Oh, that's too much power." - Oh, that's too much power. - That's too much power. - Incredible. - It is your turn. - By the way, Doty is watching all of this and writing down your exploits as furiously in the background. Okay, Albert, man, it's your turn. - Doty, take this down. And I'm going to. (laughter) I'm going to, first of all, I'm going to go into full owl rage, not bare a man rage, I'm just hitting owl rage right now. - Who's? - Who? - 'Cause I'm about to give a hoot. (laughter) - Yep. (laughter) - That was a war hoot. (laughter) - And I am going to. - I have a house out of like that. - Just make an acrobatics thing. - And while I'm up there, while raging, I'm going to throw a boomerang at, as I'm making my 30 feet. - Are you running across the troops out here? - I do have a ring of featherfall, so I should be fine one way or another. - Okay, as you start to run up this tree, this vine comes to life and attempts to grapple you. Roll a dexterity save to see if you evade the grapple. - God, you are barbarian. - Yep, yep. - 'Cause vision, I think I have a manage on deck saves. Yes, I do. (mouse clicking) - Yeah. So that is. - Oh, thank God. That actually, I rolled a D12. Let's try the other one. Okay, still the same. - Yeah, that's 19. - Oh my gosh. The vines seem to come to life and grab at your feet, but Albare man. - This is dice. - It is a dice. - It's not like that. - Oh, can. - Chas dice. - Chas dice. - Chas dice, Elijah. - This is gul. - You evade the vines with your owl-like rage. And power through and you throw your boomerang, which one are you throwing at? - At her, like, yeah, the one I can see. - This one back here, this is dorn, this is the butler. - I will throw it at the but. - Okay, and they're bained. Okay, make an attack roll. - All right, remembering how this works. I'm gonna make this a. - What's it called? - An attack. - I'm gonna make the attack where you have advantage on my attack and I'm gonna get advantage on it. - Okay. - I can't remember what's going on. - Ragee, it takes a really-- - Ragee, extra Ragee. That's a 17-hit. - Mm-hmm. - Hitch. - So that means that I do 1d4 plus a d6 because it is my first attack of the. - All right. - Yeah, and then that's plus two to the attack. So that's. - Hell, yes. - Two. - Stice are so fucking nice. - I know, right? It's awful. Let's see. - Caduceus dice that just sold for 720 dollars. - 11 points of damage. - Amazing. Dorn takes the hit, bleeds a little bit from the side of his face and we don't have time for this. Okay, next up is. - Double, really quick. I actually, I do get. How far did I run there? - I don't 30-ish feet. How far? - 30-ish feet? - I'm gonna take one more boomerang at him, just for fun. - Okay, go for it. Roll to a C if you hit. Do your boomerangs come back to you or they just kind of clattered to the floor? - If I miss. - Okay, so they clattered to this one clattered to the floor? - Yeah. Okay, great. That's 18-hit. - 18-hit? Go ahead and roll for damage. That's. 9 points of damage. This boomerang, Dorn was about to raise up his gong staff to slam it down and make a gong, but you knocked it out of his hand and he is hurt. Pretty bad, pretty bad. Okay, next up is Damian Vodoma. - That's me. All right, so what I'm gonna do is. I'm gonna put my hands through my boobies, my. - What are those called? - Frags knuckles. - Frags knuckles, thank you. So what are the handles to my. My daggers, my stiletto. So I pull them out and I run my thumb along the blade and I, the little bit of blood, I put it on top of one of the handles and I rub it across the giant might room. - What's that? - On my blade, which I grow, I can imbue myself with the might of giants. So the bonus action I can gain the following benefits. I have become large size. I have advantage on strength checks and strength saving throws and my weapon deals an extra one D6. So I'll get big and then I will move forward to. The first Terry, whoever I can get closest to. - Labia, okay. - He's gonna go down, I tell you. - Where is he? - Is this one right here? - Not flit, not, that's another. - This is Arianna. - Are we Arianna, Arianna Grande? - Elias. - Wait, and where's the butler? - Back here. - Okay, I don't think I can get over there. I'll start with. - Arianna Grande? - Yes. - Great. - And I'm gonna take a slice. - Slice away? - Slice, slice away. - All right, let's see, that probably won't do anything. That was terrible. Hold on a second. 11? - Does not hit. - Yeah. - Okay, she ducked. - And I'm gonna second attack. Nice try. Oh, nice try, but you should have not tried. (laughter) You said you were an Aberlis guy, still? Oh, yeah, you can now. All right, I'll try. You want to try it? Matt, Matt Face Dice. Yeah, but what if it's. Okay. All right, plus five? 16? Yeah, yeah! Good idea! All right, so. All about. Here we go. We got it. Killing people. All right. (laughter) And. Yeah. Uh, that's 13 points of damage. That's a significant blow. Uh, you slash her across the side of her neck. Yeah. Blood starts spilling down onto her shoulder. She scowls at you. And for a second, you think, "Are you related to Bolo?" (laughter) Yep. Who seems so familiar to me? Who's Bolo? My voice will toast. (laughter) Otherwise, no toast. Matt Face Dice now lies. This one that just saved us. I'm reading about Bolo and his story. For me. That's for me. For me. For me. For everyone. Okay. Uh, at the start of your turn, for everyone, just make a perception check for me. Okay. 11. Okay. (laughter) All right. All right. We're the world's 40 feet. I don't think that'll get me all the way over to Doty Terry. So I'm going to go over to this Terry. This Ariana Grande Terry. Her was no longer Terry. (laughter) And I'm like an air genocino, so I'm really float to you when I'm. Yes, of course. All right. And I'm going to attack her with my douglas. Douglas. You buy the yellow stars. (laughter) So sorry. Oh! Listen, listen. Matt Dice. It was only over. Well, no, we have two more Matt. Oh, that's true. We'd have to be at the roll of your four, at least. To what? Well, I rolled a plus 10, this 12. So I'd have to get a full of drows. I'm going to drop you. Yeah, no for it. Let's spend it for it. Let's spend it. Four! It's a hit. Thanks to Matt. Matt Vase. Sometimes. Matt Vase. Matt Vase. Matt Vase. So that's nine points of damage. Matt Vase. And I get an extra attack. Because I get an extra attack. Oh, that's nice. So that one rolls much better. That's 24. That did very well. He hits. So that's eight. Do I add the plus six on the second attack? Normally not. Ask your GM. Do I add the plus six on the second? I don't know. I mean, like the plus six, if I'm, if I get an extra attack for the dual glaive. Yeah. Only if you have two weapon fighting. I do have two weapon fighting. Then I think you do. Oh, okay, cool. Then that's 14 points of damage on the second. The mouth man prophecies. Wow, look at that. Holy boy. Sorry, you got a 27 to hit. No, that 24 to hit. And then I got, I did 14 points of damage on the second hit. And then Matt Gwol. Wow. Matt Gwol. Matt Gwol. 1150. That's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. What? He's a money for cheer. You guys are awesome. Don't munch it. And I'm going to flurry of blows. Oh my gosh. What is this? You're going to flurry. I'm going to flurry. I'm going to flurry. I've got the pop pop. First one. 16. 16 hits. All right. That's 1d6 plus 4. That's 10 lower points damage. Oh my gosh. Arya Alari is looking real rough. And the second one is a 13. I don't think. That misses. Oh my gosh. There's another Matt nice. You could. Let's go. Do it. Let's go. It's a hit. Okay. What do you, what's the? Oh, there's another 10 points of damage. How do you want it to? Yeah. We knew you were a shady cunt from the beginning. And I'm going to punch her right in her face. Oh my gosh. Just so hard that it knocks her out. I was cheating at night before. I feel really bad about it. Oh. She dies. Win down. She's never win. She's never win. That's it. Okay. Next up is Terry, number two, who has now been revealed to be the Butler Dorn. It's his turn. On his turn, he is going to look at the painting that he's holding. It is a beautiful image with incredible moving alchemical paints. I see stairs into it. He casts some sort of ritual or spell. The painting seems to connect with him somehow. His body starts to morph and change. His bones crack and break. His jaw falls off. And he turns into this. What? Oh my god. No. No. We probably should have saved the mat dice. We've got one. Two of these would have been one. Is he still Bamed? Oh yeah, sure. Oh no. Oh. Yeah, he's Bamed. Oh boy. This is a gigantic blue and purple shimmering dragon of death. I love it. It grows and you feel the entire floor shake from its mighty power. But instead of fighting you, it turns and starts to advance on the broomstone and draws back its claws ready to strike. That's the end of its turn. It descards the painting on the ground and the entire the shaking of the entire floor rattles everything in this room. Let's see here. Farrowing, buddy and Mack make a perception check. I've got to get Vigo back in the painting. Natural one. Hey 16. What is it? What's yours? 16. Mack. Mack sees. I couldn't say any clearer. Mack and buddy noticed that all those vines that had tried to grab at Albert Mann as he was screwing across them. They all sort of tense up for a second when the ground shakes. Because it probably hurts a little bit. This is the whole room shaking and quaking. You do notice though, just that these vines are shaking and quaking up here. They sort of retract a little. These vines over here retract a little and so did these right here. What? These vines right here sort of shake and quake a little and retract. Where were the other vines? There's a giant tree stump. In this giant tree stump the vines also sort of. Okay, that's it for his turn. It is your turn, Mack. It's my turn? No, she's not for that tough one. Back to the line 19. I'm going to. Oh, also. I'm sorry, earlier that painting that you saw on the ground when you ran in, Mack, you spotted that painting, right? As you've run by you saw what the painting was of, the painting was of Terry and Darington. Oh, I use the dainty. Oh, I don't know. (laughter) I don't know. I've seen this before. I don't know what's happening. How to bring. Do we try to get the dragon back in the painting? Or we could destroy the painting. Or we could just kill the dragon. No, we can't. Good luck. (laughter) What is that we're going to do? What you do, Mack, aren't you? We destroy the painting. Where's the entrance you're going to be right now? The MC Canvas that they were. The last one that he used to sort of transform. He just discarded it over here. Is your notes? Nope. I will cast those on it, but we used all those. I will run towards the canvas, and I will use my spiritual weapon to make a strike. I'm going to make a strike at the canvas that's on the ground, the blank canvas. Roll to see if you hit. Yes, that's 22 to 10. The canvas rips in half. Oh, amazing. Dead canvas. Is the dragon just a bear? No, they tried it. Oh boy. Yeah, cool, cool. With my amazing bonus action, I do nothing. Okay. Yep. Okay. No, that's it. It was a fucking divine favor to the game. Who's not better? Let me see. It's my territory. Oh, wait, was this dead terry? Is this dead terry? I'm going to give the one more. I'll give the one more. Buddy, divine. He gets an extra D4 on a hit. - Oh, great. Hazel, you're up. - All right. Um, ha, ha. All right. - Ah. - I'm going to march my little drug meet up a little bit just to get a little closer. Ah, ah, ah. We have that direction. - Sure. - And then? - Direction. - And that direction? I would like to, in the broomstone, I am going to cast fear. In which-- - At the broomstone? - In the broomstone, because I can create a phantasmal image. - Oh. - And as the dragon looks inside, into the broomstone, he sees mouth-as-our flier-mont and his face comes through. He's a visage, and he looks at him and he goes, "Helias Dawn, I am very disappointed in you." - And shames him. And I cast fear. - Cast fear or phantasmal force? - Fear, it's a break, but you just have fear for the image. You cast an image. - Fear with an image. - You did. - Lavering the fear. - Okay, gotcha. - You don't have fear with an image. - You project a phantasmal image of creature of a creature's worst fears. - Amazing. (laughter) - This is amazing. - Yes, I'm coming through. - Yes, what is the same? - Uh. - Wisdom 15. - Minus a D4. - Minus a D4? - Oh, 'cause he's big. - Is he big? - He's big? - Well, they're probably not the one. - No, fandips. - Mm-hmm. - Okay. - It's right. - Uh. - He's been good. - 16. - Cutting words. - What is that? - Cut, you were a bard. (laughter) - We're a long time. - Okay, so wait. - Cutting words. - You roll a D6 or something? - No, I say, uh. It's still-- - You can bonus action your own spell? - It's a reaction. - Okay. - So-- - God, Bards are awesome. (laughter) - Um, he just hit the dragon just hears. You. Or a bad butler. - Whoa. - Yes, that's-- - Or a D4 or a D6 to reduce the-- - I'm running out of juice to you guys. Um. - I roll my bardic inspiration die and he has to subtract that from his roll. So minus five. - Whoa. - Right. - He would fail uses a legendary resistance. - Yeah! - That's my boy! - Don't share that! - That was a lot of bokeh. - I'm very happy that we've earned one. That was really a legendary resistance. - I know. - That was a really, really, really, really hell-y. - Buddy, you're up. - I'm done. - Let's go, buddy. - Okay. Um. - Where is he? He's here. And you said all the plants jiggled? - Yes. You saw a vine sort of retracted. They didn't retract. They just sort of like, winced, like here, here, and here. - Okay. So he's just going to watch all this happen and say, "Who got it? Why?" And then he's going to wander over to the left and just sort of sniff and look into this giant tree. And he saw that quivering. So he's just going to reach in and grab it and pull out. - What you pull out is a bunch of boxes, including a blank canvas and a bunch of fresh, alchemical paints. - We could paint. - We could paint them away. We could paint us in something. - I found a bunch of junk over here. - You just need about three hours to paint really well. - You'll need shorter than that, guys, because you get the sense that this creature is nearly impossible to defeat with conventional means in its current form. However, there is some mystical connection to these paintings. Everybody roll a history check. You with advantage, Mark. - Same roll. - 19. - 14. - 15. - Can you guide in somebody? - I'm not really not. Guidance. - Everyone has been hanging around with Terry and so long. He keeps making you read his stupid ass books. One of them, the dashing Lord of Deistach, Mark, you remember, he wrote about a creature called a forgery beast, a shapeshifter that could look at a special, alchemically enhanced painting, and turn into whatever a creature was depicted in the painting. You get the sense that if you were to use this canvas in paint and paint a creature with enough detail and show the painting to the beast, odds are, it would turn into whatever creature you painted. You can choose anything, but it must be highly detailed. The canvas must be filled, and the paints are right through this curtain. You should go paint me a painting. - You, you. - Everybody. - Everybody on it. - Because while you're painting, you are vulnerable to attack. So I would suggest going one at a time to go paint. I'll keep going down the orders. - Awesome. - Yeah, I'm going on. - Wait, I'm going on. - Did you roll adding something to it? - Yes, you were all adding something to it. - Who's turn was it? - So that was. - I was mine. - I was mine. - What are you doing? - So you're next, so you can go. - So we're all group painting one thing. - Yeah, okay. - But we can go around. - As we go around. - That we can auction. - Oh, great. - That's great. - Are we painting this? - We don't talk about it. - It feels like it's just-- - We don't talk about it. - We don't talk about Bruno. - Yeah. - So we're making a creature. It doesn't matter. - We're making a creature. - That was Buddy, it's Flimsy's turn. - So Albert, Albert Lowe. - How was Buddy? - Buddy, should you go? - I think, I think Buddy's-- - It's my feet. Okay, yeah, go for it. - Wait, I think I know what this is. Do you know? - Yeah. - Do you know? - I mean, I don't know what it's a year. - Somebody start painting! - Go Buddy. - Okay. - Oh boy. - Oh no! - He didn't character. (laughing) - Okay, Flimsy, it's your turn. - All right, I'm gonna go ahead and say, "Hell Dragon Beast, dare not destroy this fantastic dirageable, "and instead focus upon us, let this be a battle to remember." As I step forward, speaking this, to get within, like, 30 feet of it. - Of course you can, the answer's yes. - Yeah, actually, I move that halfway there, I can get there. I didn't move, I wasn't at the beginning, because I was like-- - And I will cast suggestion on it. - Okay. - And suggestion, as I begin to cast by, say, "Step away from the stone and look me in the eyes." - Okay, I roll a save on that. - Indeed, I will use my innate sorcery ability as a bonus action on that, so that I can crease the DC by one. - There's a paint cam. - Oh no! - Amazing. So with that, it'll be a DC 13. - He rolled a 12 with Bane. - With Bane. - Yes, he is suggested. - I do it! - He does not, he does not. - Do we just go, we just go there, and turns around to face you. - Okay, we were scrolling with fury and rage. - So cute! - Oh, he worked! - Okay, I'll bear, man. - Get out of here, man. - Go, go! - Get it, Matt, get it. - Do your thing. - I was trying, picking on an outfit. - Paint really good, paint really good. - Grown size. - Or some size. And I'm going to take a running leap, and I'm going to go both claws. - Yeah! - Straight back on the head, and go-- - Do you need a parko, a parko, parko, parko? - I am attacking. - Like an owl from the night. (laughing) - And-- - Woo! (laughing) - I'm going to be making a reckless attack. - Yes, reckless it up. - Yeah, baby. - Just gotta get to my hands, there we go. - And that's gonna be, 7, this is a 24 to hit. - Oh, hits. - Where's my claws? There we are. - Uh-huh. - Since it's reckless, I get an extra D6 on that attack. - There we are. - So that's, uh, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 17 points of damage with my first claw. - Amazing, great hit. - Second claw. (groaning) - Think, second claw. - Yes, like, yeah, I can do reckless. - Second doesn't matter, is it? That's all the same. - Uh, it hits, yeah, it's great. - 28. - And then that's going to be no D6. - Yeah, let's drop that. - Uh, 8, uh, 14, 16, 16. - Yeah, it's 8 points of damage. - Great. - Uh, and-- - It hits. - I'm-- - I'm flying this guy. - And then I'm going to, uh, use a, uh, a bonus action to disengage. Uh, and, uh, well-- - Are you gonna stay on him? - Actually, I'm gonna attempt both claws in. I'm gonna try and hunker down. I'm gonna, yeah, I'm gonna, what can I do with that thing? There's a thing I can do. Where's it? I think I can grapple. Let's see if I'm trying to grapple. Okay. Albehr man, that's the end of your turn. It is Damien Vidalma's turn. Go Albehr! Go Albehr! Okay, so, uh, I'm gonna-- I don't know what it's turning into. (laughter) I'm just gonna start the gun. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. - Let him did start as with like a spud. (laughing) - All right, I'm just-- - Just hang on until Laura gets in there. (laughing) Or Ashley. - Or Ashley. (laughing) - It's gonna be terrible. All right, with my other room that I have, I'm gonna activate my other room with a bonus action, which is flame tungstiletto. - Yes. - And again, I'm gonna take two shots with a big beast. - All right, shoot it. - Two slices. - There are you again? You're, I don't even know where you are. - Oh, come on. All right, only one hits. - Is this, are you throwing these things or are you-- - No, I'm going up close. - These slices-- - He's like, I can't get over there, but sure, you move over there. - Okay, great. (laughing) Cool, one hits. So, that'll be, okay. Four plus five. That's nine plus nine times. - One, two, six. (laughing) - Okay, plus six, so nine is a 15. Plus, I think it's 2D8 because of the flames. - 2D6, sorry. - It's like, what was I at 15? - 15. - Up next, just in a minute. - 15. 15 plus 15. (laughing) 23 points of damage. - 23 points, that's a huge hit. - That's a big hit. - As you slice, part of its wing sort of drops off and a black-icker pours out onto the left side. It roars in pain and faces you as eyes. - I got the dice this time. - What I was just rolling. - I've had two net 20s in this game with this dice. - That's really good. - So, okay, for everyone, please, you're up. All right, you're up, you're up. Who's up next? - No pain, Ashley. - As you go, pain. - As you go, pain. - Okay, look back here. - This is, I don't know what's happening. - Oh no. (laughing) - I get all the way over to him. - Yes, of course you can, everyone. - I heard that. - Okay, great. I'm gonna run over and do a dope munch shit. - As you run over there, a mysterious wind picks you up and deposits in the next two. - Actually, an adult munch shit and kind of-- - I'm gonna fill the hole. - And try to get onto the back of the dragon. - Okay, so you've been trying to jump up onto this thing? - Yeah, and then up to the back. - I want you to its back. Okay, this is gonna take an acrobatics check. Farrow and Breeze, the munch. - All right. That is a, do I get an advantage because I'm a munch? - You want some? (laughing) - Oh, this is the worst combination. - 15. - Yeah, describe your amazing acrobatics of me. - As I-- - There's no checks. There's no checks. - There's no checks. (laughing) - As I'm running, I feel the wind sort of pick up and it seems like I'm almost running on air as I run over to his back. And then I'm gonna spin in the air so I'm like, all my ropes are like flying out and I'm gonna duolgly smash down as I-- - For a second while you're in the air. - I look like one of those Barbies that had the things that-- - Yes, I do. - I love those. - Yes, you did so for 810. (cheering) - As you spin in the air for a second, you almost turn into wind and become a tornado for a second. Then become real again and you stab down? - Yeah, with my duolgly. - Amazing. Roll to hit, roll for damage, roll for all that crap. - All right. - Roll, grab. (laughing) - Yeah, not. (groaning) - No, it was a one. - It was a one. - All right, roll to one. - I rolled to one. - Oh, the wind just got out. - For the first attack. - Oh, okay. (laughing) - Oh, I got 15 though. - That hits. - All right, go ahead. - Oh wait, sure it hits. - I can't. (laughing) - What because of Bane? - Bane. - That's not a six. - Yeah. - That's only six points of damage. - Oh, it's a good six. - It's a good six, but I'm gonna use the key point and I'm gonna start smashing it with my fists. - Do it, yeah, fist that dragon. - Yeah, I'm gonna fist it. And that is a 13-dand. - That doesn't hit. - No, okay, I'm gonna try to get it. Oh, it not hits. - Yeah. - That's a hit. - There you go. - And that's 10 points. - That's amazing. Another 10 points, you're punching a dragon in the back. - Doesn't look really hurt. - It can almost feel it. (laughing) - Actually, it is, I believe it has reached the bloodied condition. - No, wait, what is that? - Bloodied is how it went through. It's already to halfway out. - Yes, if I count all the things that you did to the butler, yeah. - Oh wow. - If I count those. (laughing) - Are you? - Should you? - See, have a nice look. - All right, let's go, I love it. I love it. - I should go, I should go. - You're gonna hit this. (laughing) - No. - The whole canvas has to be filled. - The whole canvas has to be filled, but come back, come back. - I'm staying on his back. - Okay, great. - I'll touch you. - As you're standing on his back, it's going to be. (laughing) (laughing) - It's been a rocker out and try to get you all within its breath weapon. - It's a speckle and shit. - I was trying to get creative. - Okay, the beast rocks around to face you. It's toothy mall opens and out of it shoots a shadow breath. - No. - Everybody roll a dexterity saving through DC 17. - Yeah. - No. - What about the twits? - Who are on the, on the, on the-- - It does not. - Wait, what are we rolling? - You are on the back. - Uh, dex, seven. - Oh, great. - I made it. - Made it. - No. - I'm gonna mess up my tides of chaos to try and-- - You can also be in it. - You can always do this your face if things go wrong. - Oh, fail. - Do you, do you use your face? - She's fixing it, she's fixing it. - Use my, my face. - Hi. - I'm gonna shake. - I don't think it's-- - Up to you. - Up to you. - All right. - I got a seven. - Oh yeah, no that is. - No, I can't even, I can't even. Big fail for Flunz. - Okay. Those who rolled a seven teeter, hire you take 17 damage. - Whoa. - Those who failed take 35 damage. - Whoa. - Whoa. - What? - What? - Yes, and Farrow and Breeze is painting. So she would have been vulnerable, but she doesn't get hit because she's on its back. - Yeah, not, yeah, so an Alvar man and Farrow and do not. - No, how many points do we take? - 17 if you succeeded, 35 if you didn't. - Flimsy went from full health to unconscious in an instant. - Oh no. - Oh no. - Oh yeah. - Oh no. - He is flimsy. - You watch as the form of Terry and Darynton that's held this entire time, suddenly, shit. It draws into a backpack wielding baggy clothes draped, changeling with long hair, just kind of on the ground. Flimsy. - Flimsy. - Oh guys, you gotta say flimsy. Okay, it's Max turn. (laughing) - I don't know if I can. - All right, who's painting next? You got that? - Max? - No, no. - But you're adjourned. - Oh yeah. - Who's painting? - Laura's painting. - You who just went last. - No one yet. - I did. - And then now it's Max turn. Farrow and Wins, now that's why she's painting. - Oh, so it's right, okay. - So, what's the other way around? - She's still painting. - Have you painted that? - No, but I'll go after my turn, which is next. - I'm gonna run out. - We're like, we're doing our turn. - Who's painting now? - Laura's still going. - No one, Matt, Matt, because it is the creature's turn. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm hoping it's on me. - We're revealing and everybody is gonna get. - Oh. - Good. - Fair of healing, hello. - What's the casting time on that? - Who fucking cared, Matt? (laughing) 17 plus three. - As the GM, I concur. - 20 points. (laughing) - 20 points of healing. - Yay! - Yay! - That's 20 minutes. I hate it pretty best. - Thanks. (laughing) - And I will jump upon buddy's back into the chariot. I'm gonna go paint. - Wait, wait. - Okay. - Why don't you do. - Hazel copper pot, you're up. - Oh, okay, shit. Okay. (laughing) I cast blindness. - Blindness. - Again. - On me? - On the dragon? - On the dragon. - On you. - On you. - The old man. - The old man walks in. - Did it help? - It's so ugly. (laughing) - Is this my state room? Oh, I've realized again. (laughing) - You got it my way, you stupid old man. (laughing) Blindness again on the dragon. - Okay, go for it. - Okay. - Say-- - He does, it's constitution saving the dragon. - Constitution. (laughing) - 13, but Bane. - Two, 11. - Sorry. - Constitutional. - It's really 15. - Cut it, Warts. - Yeah, do it. - Yeah, again. - What could you say to be child that I haven't heard? - I don't have to say anything. I think these sick beats speak for themselves. (laughing) - I hit play. (laughing) - On my rex and drum and bass track. - And we just cut on the sh-- (laughing) - And I clink it. Take that old man. (laughing) You cannot keep up with the youths. - I cannot keep up with these sickening beats. (laughing) (laughing) - Okay, roll, you're cutting words. You're cutting-- - Another five down. He's been a good guy. - Blind. - He's dead. (laughing) - No, you can't see fire. - I can't see fire. - Wait, still feel like there is a fight going on. (laughing) - I don't know that. - I sense bad things are happening. - No. - You can neither confirm nor deny. (laughing) - Now get over there and paint. - No. - Okay. - Okay, I don't know which one the blinded condition is. So I'm gonna put on, slowed. - What? - Okay, excuse me, he's gay. - He's blind. (laughing) - I think deep cut. - Deep cut. - Well done. - Oh God. (laughing) - Bonus action I will second win myself and give myself, oh just six more at the points. - Great way. - Okay, okay. - Should we clear? - Clear. - Yep, that's happened. All right, now I'm just gonna run up to the dragon's face and start beating on it, okay? - Great. - You make your way easily over there. - Make 'em my way. - Okay, we'll say, if you miss, you're gonna hit the Albehr man. - I do want to, it's a two. - Okay, you smash Albehr man. Super long. - Oh my god. - She wanted to roll my damage to that? - Yeah. - All right. I'll allow it. (laughing) - I'm winning four with nine, it's pretty hefty. Here comes. That is 13 points of bludgeoning damage. - May I put in half to six? - Okay, here he's right. - Oh, 'cause he's raw, he's Sam Ragen. - And I will, I'll allow him. - Sam Ragen. - Action search to hit the dragon or Albehr. - You're great. - I really, that's it. (laughing) - Yes, your goggles are a little off. They're a little bit more foresighted, the near side is hitting the Albehr man. - Yep, yep, there we go. (laughing) - You're hitting harder than a coffee right loss. - That's a surprise. (laughing) - Just as time is 12. - 12? - Okay, so six. Sorry. - Two thunderous attacks, land squarely into Albehr man's, damage already masked and it sort of cracks in half. You can start to see your secret, I guess. - Yeah, the Albehr has cracked in half. The bear mask underneath it is still holding strong. - Amazing. (laughing) - Flimsy is up and alive. Yes, it's time to cycle around. Flimsy, take it away. - I think Flimsy looks down at his hands shaking from the first brush with any sort of adventure, but also mortality and goes, I'm not gonna have to discuss the visibility on himself and just run. - Oh, that's the turn. - Yeah, now that blind dragon definitely can't see you. - All right. Albehr man, we're bloody. - Oh my god, that was quick. - All right, we're going back. - It's almost full. What are the rules? Don't must full. - I'm just doing until you think you've done. - Doing what I'm done. - I'm-- - I'm gonna finish my-- - I'm really sorry. - Despite the rules are, do it until we can auction it. - Despite just getting punched twice in the gut and breaking the mask, I'm still just gonna keep going, just-- - Just still just going straight in with the stabbing. - Okay. - And thankfully, your mind just means I have advantage. - Oh, amazing. - I don't even have a-- - Hand on Bain. - And Bain. - The painting is pre-impressed. - Blinded Bain. - There's something. (laughing) - God damn it. - That's it. - I need you to try and do it. - All right, don't know if you're being truthful. - Oh, that's too much. - That's a natural-- - That's a natural 20. - Whoa. (cheering) - That was a 20. - So that's, oh God, this is gonna be insane. What happened, I don't have the fancy thing that Barbarians have for that yet, but it's still okay. - She's still sleeping over there? - He's like just staring at us. - Kind of ominously. - Yeah, it looks a little-- - He looks mad and-- - He's like, "This trimmer trap has got me." (laughing) - 24 points of damage. - Huge. Wait, is that doubled? - That's a crit. - That is doubled. - 48 points of damage. - No, no, no, that is double 24 points of damage. (laughing) Is that double? - And then four big cheeses. For my second attack. (laughing) Yeah. - That's 16 to hit. That hits. - All right. - And then that's a. (laughing) - That's eight. - That's 10 points of damage. - Okay. - That was tempted to turn the sea over. - You know, I see it, it's still a dead. - Okay, he just wants to see it. - 10 points of damage. This is great. He's pretty bloody. (laughing) Yeah, this dragon looks less dragony. Okay, that was Albaimand Damien Vodoma. You got your brass knuckle knives. - Yeah, I'm gonna keep going. I'm just gonna take two more tries of this dragon. 'Cause I don't know what else I'm supposed to do. - That's all you're supposed to do. - Here we go. - First hit does not hit. - What? - Second hit. - 17, does that hit? - Yes, that hits. - All right. - What are we doing? - We got it. - Okay, do I have to those fire rooms? - We gotta be close to finish, right? - Yeah, a minute. - Okay, close. - Okay, so. - I think we get back to seven. - By, we turn it in. - Okay, I like that. 15. Wow. 15 plus six is 21. 21 points of damage. - Incredible. He's looking real hurt. - He is. - He is? (laughing) I'm done. - Okay, all right. - That was Damien, it's Farrowin. Farrowin. - All right. I'm going to, why not? I'm gonna cast Thunder Wave. - Thunder. - Thunder. - Thunder. - Thunder. - Thunder. - Thunder Wave. - Oh, I'm sure. - I'm not sure how I do it. I think I use key points. - Oh, whoops. - I'm not sure. - Nothing. - But I'm gonna do it. So that is. - That's what you guys. It's all good, it's all good. - Crete, you have to make a constant, oh, it's a dragon. That's not gonna work. - He's a constantly, you could maybe beat it. - He's bained. - He's burned. - All right, Cot's. - And he's blinded. If that helps, I don't know, I don't think that. - Constituent. - No, I don't think that's a good answer. - No, but I do get advantage on regular hits. I'm just gonna attack him. - Great. (laughing) - What? - First attack is 19 plus something. - Hit, hit, hit. - That's, fuck. - That's eight points of damage. - Hit at something. - And then the second attack doesn't hit. And I'm gonna use key point. I'm gonna fucking blow it blows. - Blow it, blow it, blow it, blow it. - Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. - Parallel wind blows. - Whoa, it's over my head. - Amazing, do it. - I'm gonna use one of the mat dice, to roll for these. - Double twos, so that's eight points. - Wait, two plus, hold on. - 12 points. - Amazing. He would be dead, but I forgot to mention that, this whole room is lit by these, mainly by the light of the broomstone. So it is a very dim area. And while in dim light, this dragon does have resistance to all damage. (laughing) - Crumble. - So you're getting there. - He's gonna build that twid. - He's just now bloodied. - Yes. - You are putting the pain in your mouth. - You are only hurting yourself. - That's true. - After Farrowing's move, the dragon is going to try to get its breath weapon back again and it does. You guys might want to wrap this up soon. - Bring it in. - Bring it in. - Bring it in. - Bring it in. - I think it's ready. - And fire, it's breath weapon. - There it comes. - It rears back. - We're gonna die. - Pulls its head open. It opens its two feet mall. Sharks flying in. - I'm holding the painting up in front. Oh wait, I'm not even gonna lie. - We're showing some houses. - What is the screwing out? (laughing) - I love him. - Oh I broke it. (laughing) - What is this? - It's a sad lump of a creature. (laughing) He's got a lump being. He's got a little bit of a kippy beak. - Can't be bearer with like a dragon. - With like a mermaid slash dragonytale. - Kinda looks like elf. - Yeah kinda looks like elf. - I'm fortunate, it's not. - Yeah, it's not. - Who started with that? - Who started with a snow? - That's the body. (laughing) - I don't want a tilting, I'm better than those who. - It's the glasses. - He's kinda getting the glasses. - It's dripping a little bit Travis towards the bottom. It's a good painting, but I think we should leave this up to the dice to see if it works. Everybody roll a some sort of jack. A narconic. - Arcona? - No, yes, an arcona check. - Arcona? - See if you can. - Final mat dice, now. - Final mat, final or final? - Final mat dice. - Arcona with the formets. - Okay, final check. - Everybody. - 18, and we do have one mat dice left. - Okay, and you inspiration, do you ever use it? - I wrote really bad. - No, Barty. inspiration. - You're right, you're right. I'm not using it, which means. (grunts) 23. - Okay. - Okay. - I rolled pretty super mid with a 15, unless I use a mad dice. - 10. - 10. - Oh, you use this, you use this. - 13. - Okay. - Still ask. - Still ask, but less ask. - Okay. - 18. - Amazing. - Natural 20. (cheering) - 15. - 15. - Yes, that's six successes in one failure. - I'll talk about it. - Against its will, the dragon starts to transform into a heart-tiny. - What did you give us a sweet potato? - Potatoes. - Potatoes. - It's mouth and snout changes into a yam. (laughing) - It grows. - It grows. - It's totally. - It strangely grows bifocals. (laughing) - Heart of its physiology. - Right, what you know. - Something. It has the skin of a hippopotamus. And its tail is made of pineapple skin. - What was that? - It's got a kind of a strip with a penguin in the cat. - It's really has a weird look. - It's weird that just as big as it currently is. But it opens its mouth to fire its breath weapon. And instead it says, "Gift me my country back." (laughing) It begins to weep. (laughing) - It's a piece of like fear loathing that are these. - It does. - I love it. - It's quick work for you all to carve up the gams into like a nice, a nice side dish. (laughing) - The sky shift can dine on for the next few days. - They don't have to die. - The pineapple tail becomes or derves. (laughing) And the broomstone, which was damaged, you were able to pry the glass out of the bifocals and use it to repair the broomstone. So the cracks don't leak in. - Oh, right. - Nothing goes in. - Right. - Yes. As you finish destroying this now impotent bee, you turn around to find all the passengers have witnessed this final act of heroism and are applauding you. Flair Mott is among them. But where is Terri and Darington? Did he fall in the fight? - I think behind one of the sections on the side, the invisible flimsy who's been shaking quietly. Here's that and goes. - Maybe just one last time. (laughing) - This is action to transform back into the, the visage of Terri and Darington before merging. (laughing) And that's you see is the heroism of the great Darington Brigade. (singing) (laughing) - It also met a soul for $1,050. (cheering) I'll apply that. - Fireworks. - This painting is now mine. - We've been able to make this. - We've all sweet potatoes now. - We'll be signing it. - Flip it around. - Flip it around. - Everybody applauds the Darington Brigade. - No. - They all simultaneously and without coaching say, "Three cheers for the Darington Brigade." Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray! - Hi! - Hi! - Dave. - Why does he have fingers? - I've wanted this was my fault too. - Like we got a burger. - The sweet potato on the circles were one thing. And then somebody condemned us with this. (laughing) - Just strong Bob Ross choice. - Into the abyss of insanity. - I thought I could say it wrong with a classic dick butt body. (laughing) And at the head of my head. - You did it. - I thought it was the entire body. - You knew it was from this. - I don't know what dick butts you think of this. - As the sun rises the next morning on the deck of the hubris. - Passengers, thank you for your bravery and decisive victory over Dorn and Aria and the potato monster. (laughing) They owe you their lives. But for the seven of you, even though you just did a really good thing and it felt good doing it, you just really want to go to sleep. (laughing) And with that we conclude the story and we conclude the day. What a great day we had today. (cheering) We're still one auction going, right? - Yeah, I think it just ended. - Okay, and one thousand six hundred this painting! - This painting? - There is one more auction apparently. It's the tux that I'm wearing right now. - No! - It will bust that off real quick while everybody says goodnight. - No. - I thank you guys for letting me do this crazy thing. - Three, two, three, three, four. - Yay! - Yay! - Hit it! - Yay! - Hit it! - Yay! - Oh, I think it's done. - You're the best, Sam. - Prompt our copy, we did it. I stayed up for a long time. We raised insert figure here dollars. (laughing) But I'm just getting started, just kidding. I'm not getting started, I'm done. Straight off my own back, we are auctioning this tuxedo. That auction is live right now. While that's happening, I wanted to thank my friends, family, my family. The cast and crew that came out and supported me, and the Critical Role Foundation, and our two charities, Pa Bluv and HNC Living, last and certainly not least, our friends that helped us make this possible at eBay Live. Thank you for sponsoring this amazing event. Check it out at ebay.com/ebaylive to join in on more fun. How we doing on that tux? - We got tuxedo. - We got tuxedo. - We're going, we're going. - 28 plus out. - 28 plus out. - You could, someone could, someone could wear this tux with the gesture wedding dress and get married. - That's great. - Someone could also, if you keep this tux bid going, you can keep Sam awake for even more. - It's like waterboarding with money. - I don't know. - If you could clone your own Sam. - The grand total of three. - Someone just got it, it went for $600. - Amazing. - I'm sure we'll get our grand total. - 88,800. - Wow. - Wow. - Wow. - Wow. - Wow. - Wow. - Wow. - Wow. - Wow. - Wow. - Wow. - Wow. - Wow. - What a day. We done did it. - So proud of you, buddy. - No heart. - Wow. - I know we did it over here. - Thanks guys. - You too. - Thank you. - I love you all. Thank you very much. Thanks to the crew. - Thank you. - Thanks to my friends. - And remember, is it Thursday? - Yeah. - And that's a wrap on the episode. If you like this story, consider leaving a review on your podcast platform of choice. Word of mouth is the best form of advertising and your review might just be the words of encouragement someone needs to join the adventure. Next again for listening. We'll see you next time. - Bye. - Bye.