Construction, Mob, Sex, Movies (Live from Hamtramck, MI)

[Music] Hello, Hamtramic! It's beautiful and anonymous, one hour, one phone call, no names, no holds bars. [Music] Hi everybody, Chris Gether here, and I know not everybody loves a long intro. This one's pretty long. We're gonna skip about like 9 and a half minutes. That'll put you right towards the beginning of the call. Enjoy it! [Music] Hi everybody, Chris Gether here. Welcome to another episode of Beautiful Anonymous. It's lovely to talk to you. I feel so lucky that we still get to do this show. We are in year 10 of Beautiful Anonymous, and we're always trying to grow. We're always trying to survive. We're a scrappy show. Nobody ever believed in this show, man. That's true. One of the people who used to run your wolf told me that they only recorded it, the pilot, to get me to shut up about the idea, and they wanted me to move on to other ideas, and then it exploded in all of our faces, and now a decade later, here we are. Still having human conversations, still having empathetic moments, still trying to connect with each other, still building a community around the idea that long conversations are ones you can settle into and enjoy. Thank you so much for being a part of it. Thanks for letting me be a part of your experience. It's a joy to know you fall asleep to this, or fault laundry to this, or listen to this after you drop your kids off at school and you're riding back home. And I mean that so sincerely. So sincerely. A lot of reflection 10 years in, and the overall predominant feeling I have about Beautiful Anonymous is, man, what a cool gig, what a lucky break that I ever got to do this. What else do we need to talk about? I don't think too much. We don't need to belabor any points. That show is at UCB for the New Yorkers. I'm doing a show with my friend, Tremaine Austin, for the New Yorkers. Those tickets are on sale right now. I got booked in March to headline the Canon Beach Comedy Festival out in Oregon. That should be lovely. It's a beach 75 miles away from Portland, Oregon. Go check that out. And I'll be in Edinburgh, Scotland, teaching some improv workshops at the Edinburgh Improfest. And then I'll be at an Improfestival in April. It remains Germany. I don't know what's going on with Improvel all of a sudden, everybody. But it's not as reviled. There's been a stretch where it was picked on as much as any other art form. Probably up to it, including Skah. And now Skah came back again. I'm cool again. And I'm telling you right now I'm calling it improv is on its way back on some level. And I know this because all of a sudden I'm getting asked to go teach at international improv festivals when I have been largely dormant as an improviser for a long time. And I don't know how these people are even necessarily figuring out this is something I'll do. But I like to go travel in sea places. So I'll go to Germany. I'll go to Edinburgh. Get the bad taste out of my mouth from the last time I did the Edinburgh Fringe Fest. Go do something else where I think I'll get a little bit more of the heroes welcome. I'll do that. I'll check that out. So if you want to know about me and my shows, ChrisGeth.com that redirects you to punch up.live/ChrisGethard. And remember if you wind up at punch up.live and you're ever interested in seeing my shows, enter in your email address. That platform is really doing a good job of trying to help artists be able to get indirect touch with people in the cities where they're trying to go. And I think they have really good intentions. So if you're going to put your email address in there, I can always let you know when I'm coming to your town. And I'd love to do that. Okay. Let's talk about this week's episode that you're about to hear. This is our live caller from Detroit. Right? Now this could be easily mixed up because you heard last week's call was a Chicago call with the caller from Detroit. This is the call in Detroit with a caller from Chicago. I think I have that right. Lovely caller. Cool as hell. We were at the sanctuary in Hemtraumek, Michigan. The room was only about half full, but the vibes are still good. I think if you notice the Chicago show was sold out. The Pittsburgh show was sold out. The energy is big. You're going to hear that in the reactions. This one, if it's a little more subdued, we only sold about half the tickets. I've been performing a long time. This happens sometimes. I was hoping to sell more, but the crowd that was there was locked in and lovely and really good vibes. And you're going to enjoy it. There was also my friend, Angela, who's making a documentary about the Chris get their show was in the room. One of the three Motor City Mayhem Bros. The pickle boys was in the room went to the Yemen Cafe after the show. The caller from last week's call was in the room and you will hear updates on how that went. Me and Andrea and the caller from Chicago who lives in Detroit and one of the pickle bros went to my favorite restaurant, the Yemen Cafe after the show. It was a lovely night and I will not forget it soon. The caller you're about to hear is super interesting. Has so much to say. I don't want to spoil too much. I will say talking about being a construction worker when you don't fit the mold of what being a construction worker usually looks and sounds like I found really interesting. Being the only type of person generally in an environment, I'm always interested in those stories. And I also think there's something really, really valuable about this that we talked about, but I want to underline in the intro, which is We're in a phase right now where we are all really a guest at how divided we have all felt and looking for ways to come back together. And this caller talks a lot about giving people space and grace to be who they are. Say things that maybe internally make them cringe a little bit or take a deep breath, but also remembering that fundamentally seeing the values of people and understanding who they are and where they come from. Not to justify or excuse stuff that comes out of their mouth, but to try to form some level of understanding to figure out how to meet them where they're at meet them in the middle perhaps. I thought it was cool. It was cool. It's something I've been thinking about struggling with a lot lately. And I thought it was something that was really cool to hear a real world example of. I won't reveal too much more than that. I will say that I feel so lucky to do this. If you want more with this caller and all of our callers and you want your episodes at free sign up at beautifulanautomist.com. And in the meantime, enjoy the call. And here he was one of the pickle boys from that crazy ass show we did a few years ago of any you are here. My friend Angela is here who I've known for like 15 years now who's making a documentary on the old public access show. And someone else who I just met today and became buddies with is here and I cannot wait to tell you the story of what I've been up to today because something really really strange. And I would argue kind of magical happen. And I either today made one of the best decisions I've ever made or one of the worst. And I haven't had enough time to process it. And I think you're all going to help me decide. And this is true. This is really true. So it was really strange. So last night we were at the hideout Chicago and the caller got on the line. Call went really great, really great, really great. And the first thing that the caller said and this has never happened. She was like, it's funny. I live in Detroit. I actually have tickets for the show tomorrow. And I was like, wait, I'm talking to you tonight. And then we're going to be in the same. That's the quickest turnaround on meeting a caller in the history of beautiful. Oh, also before I even get into is there anyone because this happens. Is there anyone here who doesn't know what beautiful anonymous is maybe just came with a friend to come meet them. Okay, thank you. So only one person. Oh, thank goodness. Only one person with a razor. Was it explained to you what the show is? You did. And Google explain that like. Yeah, like, sometimes it's funny and then sometimes people tell me the most fucked up shit I've ever heard and I can make you know promises. And whoever this friend is who brought you. They owe you a lot for even coming with them tonight because who knows. Well, you're studying clinical psychology. Well, I got to tell you if you're studying clinical psychology, I am a good case study in many ways. Be at this show and otherwise. So I'm on the phone with the caller last night. She's like, I'm be at the show tomorrow. I'm like, wow, it's amazing. It's never happened ever. That's wild. And then we have a great call. And the call you'll hear it someday dealt with a bunch of things. And I would say the thing we talked about the most was that she's a tattoo artist. And we're at all sorts of questions for both me and the crowd. And it was this lovely laid back conversation. And at one point. I was talking about how I have a couple tattoos and how on this arm. I have a smith, saliric and morisie signature. And that I don't regret them outright. But if you guys don't know morisie. Every few years now, morisie will just be like, all immigrants should get out of England. And I'm like, no, no, like he's one of those fucking guys. And it's it. And I thought about maybe getting it covered up or removed. But you know, I realized maybe what I need to do is have something on that arm that's not just morisie theme. And she and I were talking about that and we'd get some laughs on it in the call. And at some point kind of organically, he was like, "Do you have any ideas on what you would put?" And I was like, "I actually told her, so my son, he's about to turn seven. And he's proving to be like a good little visual artist, like a lad, and not just me and my wife, like other people see it. And they're like, "He's only six." It's kind of like a cool drawing for a six-year-old. I'm like, "Yeah, no, he's onto some stuff. He gets really into it." But there was one day where his, you know, every day he comes home from school and in his backpack, he's his little folder and his homework's in there and the stuff they worked on. And a lot of it is his art. And one day I pulled out this piece of art and it was this crazy ass drawing. It was of an insane bullhead with horns, really gnarly teeth and blood dripping from his eyes. It was so fucked up. I was like, "What the fuck is this?" And he doesn't really, he's learning to read. He's getting better by the day, but he's not there yet. So he had, there was like a message on your head about it. It was clearly to be like draw a picture and write why you drew the picture. And I was able to read through, I mean like a solid half to two thirds of the words were wildly misspelled. But I realized what he wrote in his little misspellings was, "I drew this scary bull skull floating on a plate because me and my dad like scary things." Which is really true. I have some friends here from New Jersey who know like in New Jersey when you're a teenager you drive around and you go and look at the devil's tree which is a haunted tree in Clinton Road, the most haunted road in America. And I worked at this magazine called Weird New Jersey that chronicled all that stuff and I take my son around to some of these places and we really connect on the scary things. And I told her that and she was like, "What are you doing tomorrow before the show?" And I was like, "Sounds like I'm coming to your tattoo shop." So I went today before the show to a place in Ferndale. I think if I remember it's the most random name of a shop but at Katie said I could, I could mention she's a great artist. A future laser tiger I believe is the shop. Incredible place, incredible artist. It's so good to see her and I have to show you guys what I did today. I told my wife that this happened yet, I have not told my son that this happened yet but my son has no idea that when I come home that this is now on my arm. In between Morrissey and Lyric from his song I know it's over. Did Katie not fucking, that is exact, when I tell you that's exactly how Cal drew. Brandy, look at these blood drops from his fucking eyes man. Have you ever fucking seen? My son might be a psychopath, look at that. That's legit fucking nuts man. If you were wandering through the woods and like came up on an abandoned building and that was drawn on the wall you would run away. You know you would man. My kid is a fucked up brain and I have it immortalized on my arm. How do you think my family is going to be into it or are they going to be like that's a fucking wild choice? Like, who thinks the first one into it? Who thinks like that's a wild choice? Look at that, alright, look at this, we got on the same page, I mean, and I do just have to say thank you again so much Katie and what an epic day I've always said and if you've been listening to the show for a while, you know I've always said like beautiful anonymous legitimately changed my life in so many ways. First of all I've had a job for 10 years, thank you all for that as an artist, you don't get to have a job for 10 years straight and we're doing this tour because we're on year 10. Well that'll be our 10th year anniversary in March but also it made me a more empathetic person. It made me a better listener. It made me somebody who was really chasing comedy dreams in a way that was driven by the achievements that come along with trying to become notable and attain higher levels of fame which felt like the latter I was on and gave me this other track where I did not need to fucking worry about that and got to connect with people instead really made me a better person and today, Katie and I were saying we were talking about it as a thing, now it has literally permanently altered my physical reality as well in a way that it hasn't before and we're going to see how I feel when I wake up in the morning but right now I think I'm making nothing but fantastic life choices. That's what I think. Okay. I also, so we do this thing where the show for much of its existence it was just the show and then we went independent about a year and a half ago I think two years ago and now we have a paywall and thank you some of you are on it that's nice of you and we do a thing where at the end of each episode behind a paywall we ask people random questions and we always do that with the caller and then we ask the caller to leave their own question and then that gets added to the list and I forgot to do that last night which you didn't even mention when we were doing our tattoo. Do you want to just DM me the question so as to not totally blow up your spot or you can say it now or you can do it at the end whatever you want. Let's do it. You think on it drawing the show we'll make sure we get that in. Some other things I want to let you know is that so the live shows we try to make sure that it's not just you guys sitting and listening to me talking to a disembodied voice. I want it to feel like we're coming together as a community. I like the idea. I've always been very impressed that beautiful anonymous is this show that's just me. An unqualified guy talking to random people but it somehow still feels like a community. Especially right now I think we can all agree community is vitally important like it's getting really really scary out there so the idea to be in a room with other people who go empathy is something that is entertaining and on any level important in my life. I feel fucking safe with you guys. I want it to be an interactive conversation. We used to use Twitter to do that. It used to be like hey we come up with a hashtag and then tweet at me during the show if you got questions for the caller. But I think you guys would all agree. Problem with Twitter is that it's owned by a fucking psychopath. It's owned by a real maniac who I think is bad for society and I believe earlier today it was revealed that even though he was someone that was gleefully pushing for the release of the Epstein files as soon as they were released in any big meaningful way there were emails of him emailing and being like oh it's a year of fucking psychopath and a pedophile. Yeah I think I'm down with Twitter for real. Okay so what we do now is we set up an email address and what I usually do is I set up an email specific email embugs for every individual show and I'm really not thrilled about what I have to tell you guys. I need to be clear. I'm not thrilled and I'm not doing this to fuck with you but I went to go and make a Detroit specific email address today on Gmail and Gmail flagged it and was like you've been making too many email addresses. So I wasn't sure what to do so we're just going to have to and I know and I'm not in any way trying to put Detroit in a bad position or in any way say that Detroit is in the shadow of another Midwestern city but if you have any questions for the caller or reactions out things are going please use your phone and email the address beautiful anonymous Chicago at gmail.com don't be mad at me it's a clinical error it is a logistical thing I got flat out of the bag by the algorithm gatekeepers that be so I'm going to ask if you plan on participating in the show go ahead get your phone out right now and my suggestion is actually just write down that email address beautiful anonymous Chicago to email.com copy it so you can just paste it anytime you want to send in a question and if you start sending them now it'll help because I'll know that things are working. I think the vibes in here are warming up to a degree not totally I'm also not sure Andrew are you back in the house yet oh we're good so we're good when you are that's great to know that's great to know before we get to the call we've been doing something on the live shows that I've really loved which is like I mentioned we got this huge oh Maria the very first email that came in has nothing in the content at just the subject of black hawk suck which is the fact that Detroit was forced to use a Chicago themed email address and instantly used it to start shit talking Chicago was beautiful I will tell you this again not trying to get you guys mad but one of the questions asked of last night's caller was why do you live in Detroit so that's what Chicago did to you guys why do you live in Detroit so feel free to just keep fucking with Chicago and the embugs okay you just wrote ready to psychologize you yeah good luck many have tried many have tried you psychologize me hard enough I'll do a fucking HBO special about you watch out you don't know my work you don't know how this ends this ends with me talking about you on television Vince writes Chicago is dumb but I hope this works yep email address is working well done Vince good so you guys are in on it you guys get supposed to going on at any point during the call tonight you can feel free to send questions send reactions I think with the live calls it's always a great moment and it always helps in the meantime we got this list it's 288 questions long and I want to use it to get to know the crowd a little bit so what I do is I have a random number generator it tells me what question to ask and I'm hoping that at the end of the show we'll use it to get to know the caller a little bit as well but in the meantime I'm hoping to get to know a few of you a little bit if anybody wants to answer one of the questions the list there's actually a mic setup right over there we're just going to do a few of them no more than five as per the tradition. But if anybody wants to get on one of the questions, feel free to go over to that mic and I'll ask you the question and then we'll all get to know each other a little bit. Is there anybody who wants to give this shot? Oh, everybody's shy tonight. I know you're not. Feel free to jump on that mic. Go for it. Oh, and this is a question that's perfect for you. So there's a microphone right there. Go stand on it so they can hear your answer when we record it. And this was left by a caller while back who escaped from a Christian call to now sells cars really totally on brand for our type of show. And it's amazing that they asked you this question that's feels meant to be. What's one thing you can do to make yourself more mindful? My research interest is religious trauma. Holy shit. I know. Holy shit. The fuck? Yeah. That's crazy. Are you going for like a doctorate? I am. I like your mix of the words research interest and then drop in F-bomb. Yeah, I'm probably going to get kicked out of my program. I also teach yoga. So in terms of mindfulness, it's like it's not a lot like my former shrink. Yeah, I hope you like them. I did for many years until she dumped me. She dumped me after 18 years together. It was wild. Yeah. It's okay. I'm not. You must have done something crazy. It was over a dispute regarding $75. No way. After 18 years. Yeah, and I was just like I'm so sorry. I can't pay you $75 for you to tell me your correct address. And she's like we can't work together anymore. And I was like yeah, I don't know. Okay, I did my best. I did my best. How do we increase mindfulness? You study it. I do. I mean, there's different approaches. One approach is acceptance and commitment therapy. So there's several constructs within that. But one of them that I think is worth highlighting is psychological flexibility. And I think the simplest way of saying that is kind of getting out of binary thinking. So black and white thinking. Yeah. And again, you have no idea who I am and have never listened to the show. That's correct. Yeah. Good. Good. Good. Yeah. This is awesome. You're literally just giving us a dissertation. I love it. Three minute thesis. That's my that's the short answer. Yeah. I can control myself. Let's thinking of your bad or good. Let's thinking of you succeeded you failed considering that there's more of a spectrum to life than that. Yeah. And same with like thinking about other people, right? Yeah. Yeah. Finding common ground. Finding ways to connect over our shared humanity and not assuming our differences mean that we never interact. Yeah. And being present, right? Focusing on breath. If like the one thing you can control is breathing. If there's nothing else, take a minute and just count your breaths, count your breaths and through the nose out through the nose. Just like that shit can help. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. How are we these males really are lonely, right? This loneliness epidemic thing. That's the male's. Yeah. Like, did you mean in cells? I mean, they count. They are male. I mean, the male loneliness epidemic. I do think that is code for in cells are becoming a growing threat even more than that. But I'll even say this. I don't think I'm an in cell. And I will say I have many stretches of life on a weekly basis where I realize I'm a terrifyingly lonely man. And I'm like active in my community. I'm a dad of a kid at a school. I volunteer. I get to do shit like this. And I still on a regular basis. And like, I cannot believe how lonely I feel at certain points. Yeah. I think there's a there's a clinical psychologist named Dr. Said Hill and he studies what people talk about as toxic masculinity. But reframe said as restrictive masculinity. And I think that's a really beautiful way of framing it because it invites men to the conversation of, hey, you're socialized to repress your feelings. And that's fucked up. So what don't why don't we talk about that? Look at this shit. We're all getting a clinic. I love it. I love it. I mean, so and I'm only two like grad school is a terrible place. Oh, I think it was a hand raised. Oh, no, someone raised a hand. I think he's just putting a drink down. Oh shit. No, trying to hog the mic. No, thank you so much. Yeah. What a stunning contribution to the show. This one got heady fast. Well done. A round of applause. Round of applause. Thank you so much. We're still warming up. Yeah, you're good. You're good. You can sit back down. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. We also people are using the email just thus far exclusively to talk shit about Chicago. Kimmy has just written in all caps the words Detroit pizza is better. Which I would say is true in my experience. I like Chicago deep dish. I'm not a hater, but in Jersey, there's a bunch of places that have started making the square Detroit style pies and holy fucking shit. Like it's hard to get a guy from New Jersey to say other people's pizza is good. Those fucking pies are no joke. And this shit where you do the square pie and sometimes the crust is made out of caramelized cheese. That's not even fucking fair, Detroit. That is not right. And that is not fair. And there's a place called Bucky's in Chatham that's making these things. And they do a fucking cacio e-pepe Detroit style with the caramelized cheese. And it's a problem in my goddamn life. And I'm mad at Detroit about it. Let's see. Then emails are flying in now. Maria says Chicago pizza is just lasagna. We've got Jesse who says I prefer Chicago dogs to Coney dogs. Oh, sorry. And then it says, please keep this anonymous. So no one beats me on the outside. The problem is I said your name first. Apologize. Apologies for that. Jesse might then immediately violating your trust. Andrea, who is the producer of our show, does want to shout out Stephen C. Hayes, who is an ACT guy. And I'm glad that we're shouting out our favorite schools of psychological practice. Okay. I think that's good. I think we're good on the questions there. Andrea, I feel like we're ready. Are you guys ready for a phone call? Okay. Are you sure? Because the vibes in here still feel quiet. But I think this is a small, almighty crowd. And I've recently -- like the fact that this happens, this is legit. One of the most special days of my life. I can't. Cal is going to fucking love this so much. But here's how I'm going to go home. I'm going to be like Cal. I'm going to explain to him like you made that piece of artwork and it made me feel so good about our friendship and made me feel like you and me have this connection. So I got a permanent on my body and I want to watch his reaction. And then I'm just going to float up to see how these reaction. And I -- when I tell you the bedding, I would not know what to put money on. I don't even understand what her reaction could possibly be to this. Like the fact that the person who I like change in front of and get naked in front of now has to see this for the rest of our life too. That the fucking best shit I've ever pulled off. And I can't thank you enough. Please. Oh, look at this Windsor style pizza for the wind. Is there a -- is there another -- wait, there's a specific Windsor Michigan style pizza? Windsor Canada -- I'm not trying to fuck with Canadian pizza. Is it really good? Shredded pepperoni, it says. It's that good. Are you the person who wrote the email? Oh, so the person most vehemently defending the email is the author of the email. Let's see. Oh, but you sent two. I was about to say we got another one. But no, you -- yeah, no, you did -- okay, so that was not an effort to -- yeah, we will -- you sent one. Let's see. You sent one email about Windsor style pizza at 755. And then you weren't sure what everyone went through. And just to make sure you did send another one at 756. And then my friend, I'm dualist. And they're lying. Don't trust Canadians, which I love. Okay. Andrea is pointing out that she was -- I did have a FaceTime in the car while we were driving from Chicago where I soft-floded the idea that I might get attention today. And Halle did pretty vehemently say don't do that. Which I did forget about in the euphoria of doing it. Maria also says, based on me describing my falling out with my therapist that I bet your therapist was Chicagoan, which is you guys are having a field day clowning on this. Okay, so for the -- oh, she's not even here. For the one person who left, it's a totally anonymous. It'll go for an hour. I got the clock going. And Andrea, I think, has the call already. So whenever you want to hit that shell, Shag, we can hit that shell, Shag, Andrea. Hello, and Tramik. It's beautiful. It's one hour. One phone call. No name. No whole's bar. Okay, hello, Colin. Hello. Hi. Hello, motor city. How are we doing today? If that -- you instantly got the crowd more pumped up than I did an half an hour of trying, of begging them for it. That was my goal. I was listening to it. So you heard -- you heard -- you could hear me. I imagine and you were like, he's trying so hard to get them amped up. He's not quite getting there, but I got this shit. Hell yeah, and you know even though I'm calling from a specific city that they have a lot to say about I'm still rooting for them. I love Detroit. Are you calling from Chicago? Oh Hell yeah, yeah Were you at last night show by any chance? No, I missed it Look at that well, it was a little work about sorry you had a work of it So we had a Detroit caller call us in Chicago. We now have a Chicago caller calling us a Detroit The two cities have actively talked shit about each other two nights in a row And now we all get to live in this weird infinity loop We're in a weird Fippenacci sequence of Midwestern powerhouse cities and then all poor old Pittsburgh is gonna come along tomorrow And nobody gives a fuck It's so nice to talk to you. I do have so much love for Chicago. I was saying last night In many ways feels sort of like comedically my second home outside of the New York area Yeah, I'm fucking rocks out here. I'm not really not originally from here either But you know the Midwest rocks. I feel like an anthropologist most of the time. Yeah, it's a cool spot So how are you? How's your night going? My nights are going good. I mean, obviously a lot of people to call in on a Saturday night I'm just chilling I Are you going out later or is this it? This is the whole night? No, that's the whole night. I went to the movies earlier today Got some lunch and now I'm back home. I Wanted to ask so I have a tendency to ramble You does Detroit or you want to establish a word to like stop me from talking at any point because I can ramble forever We I mean we have a full hour so rambling is welcome, but if you want to say for word What's Everybody's yelling pizza so if I say pizza That will be a hint that you might want to wrap it up and lean on me to make the guy the conversation a little bit But thank you so much. It's very considerate of you We've had some ramblers on the show who don't are not Self aware about it and then sometimes they'll be talking for like literally nine on broken minutes and I have to jump in and be like How What about that one thing you said six minutes ago? Let's go home or I can feel it. So yeah, thank you so much Yeah, my therapist might say that I'm a little too self-aware about it, but thought I would extend the courtesy Okay, that's there that's fair So yeah, if you get going too hard and you hear me saying the word pizza up on so that's a gentle nudge towards a more Conversational back and forth that being said what do you want to talk about tonight? Man I could I could go anywhere. I'm telling Andrea. I have a lot on the docket. I'm a turning 25 this year I'm a woman in construction. I Technically works for the mob in high school. I Am most died having sex for like one of the first times I'm talking about movies forever Not movies I mean, what did you see today? I saw a re-release of the worst person in the world. Is there any fans out there? Okay? Probably not what do you the the two that I think got the biggest gasps in the crowd? I'll leave it to you which we want to do first, but get the sense from the Detroit crowd that the two they seemed most interested in were how What do you mean you worked for the mob in high school and what do you mean that you almost died having sex? Those are the two that I think people are saying we want to check those boxes first Okay, I'll I'll start with the sex story if it's a bomber and then the high school one is more exciting Okay, that's I'm good with everybody Hell yeah Yeah, I something that was I was seeing this person. This is all in 2020 also by the way, so just like nightmarrow around Young still I was seeing this person and it was like one of my first times having sex I think like my third or fourth time and You know things happening as they do and then he tells me hey, you're bleeding and I was like oh it's probably nothing you know because everyone says when you first are having sex you know you're expecting to see a little and It was pouring out of me like a lot and At this point I was like all right. I think you should drive me back to campus and I don't know why I said that because I was losing consciousness like as that was happening I get back to campus. I call my public safety because they had told us during orientation my freshman year that They could drive us to the hospital if we need be and at the time I was like I don't want to journey attention to myself and you know all this stuff and I called them and they had me on the phone for 12 minutes as I was bleeding out and The ambulance showed up because they wanted to path into call them because they were scared they were Gonna be help liable if I hemorrhaged in their vehicle I guess the hospital and They can't do an exam on me whatsoever Because I'm bleeding so much and they're like yeah, so you're gonna have to be put into emergency surgery And at this point it is around midnight Midwest time and I'm from the east coast now I have to call my parents look them know that one I'm sexually active two I'm bleeding out and Three I'm about to have a emergency surgery just an all-around interesting experience and Yeah, so I had surgery Turns out I had a Hair in my vaginal wall built of this day. Do not know how it happened But you said a tear yeah, I think I'm not only one the room initially thought you said a pair Think you had an entire piece of fruit up there that you'd forgotten about so you had a tear and no one's that the applause with that would explain the bleeding Yeah, foreign objects everything. Yeah, so you had a tear up there and no one knew how it happened Yeah, it just says I don't know they stitched it up and So I lost half of my blood supply which I don't know if there's any Medical professionals an audience, but at that point I should have slipped into a coma and I don't know how I I'm I survived But I got two blood transfusions. I have to wear like a catheter thing for like over a week which was humiliating but really comedic in its own way too and Yeah, so that was my experience Did you see that guy again? Well, you know what the worst part is is I always clowned him for having white sheets and like a white duvet and this before this even happened and I was apologizing to him as it was happening and then he I didn't tell him that I had gone to the hospital and Right before I went into surgery he had texted me saying That the stains out no worries And it wasn't that you fucking died He would never ever it would have traumatized. I mean everybody's traumatized by this and you most of all and you were Obviously the center of the story, but holy shit if you died and he had sent that That is a sell a bit man for the rest of his life It would be so fucking funny. I I thought about it as like I literally got out of anesthesia. I was like Well literally how do I even approach this like hey happy to hear that I actually just got surgery Wow Yeah, yeah, so but yes to answer your question. I did still keep seeing him for Five months after that. I think we were trauma bonded at that point. I imagine you slept together again, then Yeah, after everything healed up and that nothing's happened That next time back though must be the most nerve-wracking sexual experience anyone could ever have We're gonna go ahead he paused there because we've got some ads and Thank you to all of the advertisers to help the show exists. We'll be right back Scaling a business takes the right expertise at the right time Upwork is there to help you they help you grow teams Quickly bring in specialized freelancers you can move faster you can take your business to the next level. Upwork is a one-stop platform to find higher and pay expert freelancers across web and software development data analytics, marketing, business operations, and so much more. Upwork helps grow your business by giving you fast access to specialized talent across 125 plus categories so you can fill skill gaps. You can launch projects faster. You can scale support up or down without committing to a full time headcount. 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That next time back, that next time back though must be the most nerve-wracking sexual experience anyone could ever have. The last time we did this you almost died. You were at the boot like there's no way. Yeah, honestly I think my brain is like blocked out by now just out of sheer like uncomfortableness in terms of what the fuck how can you even address this? Because I can even do anything for like a month in terms of penetrative things. So it was just like, all right, going back into it, getting to the swing of things. And it's never happened again. No, everything's good. And I mean now I have realized within the past two years I'm gay. So I also don't really have to deal with men entering me anymore. So that's really nice. I don't know if you need to be gone for a PhD in psychology to wonder if these incidents might have wondering if maybe these might be associated with male penetrative sex that but who knows who knows. I'm kidding. You and my therapist would get along really well. I mean, that's amazing. I'm glad that's not how you went out. I'm glad that's me too. Isn't that so fucking humiliating? I most of my family doesn't even know that it happens to me because how the fuck do you even start that conversation with your grandma? Like I was seeing this guy from Bumble and he almost killed me with his dick. I'm yeah. We have some questions coming in from the crowd. I just want to ask one. I would not have thought of it. Maria and the crowd wants Maria. Oh wait Maria are you here? Maria you know the question. It's an important question. I'm going to let Maria ask it. But did you finish? Did you finish? No. That's the most fucked up part about it all. That's the most fucked up part about it. The most fucked up part is the time that half your blood left your body. That's the most out of all. That's not very feminist of you Chris. I want you coming. I want you come. Nobody wants this from me. By the way, nobody wants this coverage from me. But yes, I want, I would just argue the most fucked up part is the near death aspect of it. Same level. Okay, women in the crowd are telling me that I do guess if you have sex and it kills you and you don't call that is truly a sad way to go. I'm saying like I am the I'm the advert for like you know in Catholic school the people that they bring in to warn you against having premarital sex. Like I'm the hardest story that they fucking tell. Yeah, that's wild. That's wild. I'm glad you made it through. Thank you. You too. Yeah, yeah, I am. I am happy. Yeah. And Maria, thank you so much for that very, very important question. And I feel like it in many ways, thank you for you asking and letting me off the hook on that. Caller, we might return to that topic. Who knows, but I do know that one other thing that I think we have to get to is people want to know your associations with the mob. Yeah, so I'm from an area of the country, very similar to yours. So it's really not that strange, but when I tell people out here in the Midwest, they look at me like I am fucking insane. So I was in high school, like 16 years old give or take and I was trying to find like a summer job or something. And I knew somebody that worked at this like roller skating rank near my house, which is like very infamous for you know, you go there to have your first kiss or like insane fights break out birthday parties when you were a kid just a mess, you know. And so they're like, yeah, you could work there. You don't have to worry about bringing your papers, whatever. So it was all off the books, all in cash. I started working there and they were like, yeah, you seem pretty reliable. So like, do you want to start bartending at the 17 years old? They had a bar at the roller rink? Oh, yeah, full bar at the roller rink. It seems like a bad combination. Alcohol and roller skating. I can't even describe the things I saw within my two or so years there. Just, yeah, it's a miracle I didn't see anybody die, honestly. I've seen close, but not quite. Okay, so it sounds to me like this operation was some sort of money laundering front for the mob, is that correct? Yeah, that's what I believe to this day. And so I started bartending. The entire time I worked there, the liquor license was expired. There is no way in how we ever passed the health inspection. Like we had termites in the game room. It was just so uncleanly, it smelled horrible all the time. And yeah, and then at the beginning of every shift, my manager would come in and he had a very stereotypical Italian name. I won't say it just for my safety, guys. - Yeah, nice. - And you're a non of this, by the way. That only ends with me getting a shake and down. (laughing) - True, true. And you're still over there, so I'll tread lightly. But he would come in at the beginning of the shift with like, nap sack, like a drawstring of just on the ropes of cash just straight up for our, you know, tills for the beginning of the night. And then afterwards, we would, you know, do our draw and, you know, do all that stuff, tally it up, hand it right back to him. He would put it right in his drawstring and then walk right out. And yeah, that was normal. And he also owned a string of tanning coulons as well. So, I mean, it just kind of is over in the stars. I'm gonna guess you grew up either in Jersey, maybe the Philly area or maybe the Providence, Rhode Island area. - Wrong about all three. - Really? Those are the hubs. I would say those are the traditional hubs of activity like that. - I think you're missing one important one, close the home at that. - I said Jersey, it would, - Uh-huh. - Wait, Jersey? - Yep. No, New York. (laughing) - Yeah, no, that makes a lot of sense. That makes a lot of sense. - But the forgotten part, I'll say that. - Okay, got it. I've been hanging out, I don't know if I mentioned this on the show recently, but Cal has gotten very into rollerblading. And I've been, he went to a rollerblading birthday party at the roller skating rink in Florham Park, New Jersey, where I used to go when I was a kid to birthday parties. And I walked in and it was exactly the same. And then I got to watch every other parent who entered, who grew up in the area, have a similarly crazy reaction talking around and being like, "Oh, eh, eh." Like the same sort of brain sign abs is misfiring. And he was so bad at it that the other kids were like laughing out of me, kept wiping out. And then by the end of the party, he definitely threw attention. He was not thrilled with the reactions and him on roller skates. But then he was like, "I'm making it happen." And by the end of the party, he was doing good. He felt good and the nonsense stopped. And he was like, "I wanna get good at that." We found that they teach classes. So he had every Saturday, I take him to the roller skating rink at 9 a.m. 'cause they have a class. And the first day he was like, "I'm scared." And I was like, "You're gonna be good, "but he don't worry about it. "It's fine." And he's like, "I need you to take the class." But to me, I was like, "Please, please don't do this." Like, "Please, I'm begging you don't do this." And we did it. And four weeks in a row, I took a children's rollerblading class. We did not exclusively children. There were occasionally another parent in there, but he insisted on it. And I luckily, my whole goal was like, don't fall down and get injured. And then he was getting gutted all the little skills in the level two class. And then there was one day where I thankfully, my back was hurting. And I was like, "I can take you, "but I can't rollerblade my back as her." And he was okay with that. And then I was like, at the end of the class, just so you know, I'm never doing it again. Can't do this. And then they bumped him up to level three. He's like, "Daddy, I'm scared. "You gotta take level three." I'm like, "Kal, I physically cannot." That is a class taught by a bunch of 13-year-old girls in jackets that say, "Four-up Park Skate Team." If you skate backwards, you at one point, they all crouched down on one leg with their butts almost on the ground and stick the other leg straight forward. I was like, "I will wind up in the hospital. "I cannot do." And thankfully, he let me off the hook. And I didn't have to do a level three rollerbladed class with him. - Well, I have two questions for you. - Yeah. - So first, did they have those little things like the walkers and did you use it? - No, they don't even have those in these classes. They exist at the roller skating. But the classes, they're like, "No, you're in it. "You gotta learn." - Okay, okay, and then second, did anyone get videos of you? - Thank God in heaven, no. It was really bad. It was real bambi on the ice sheet. It was bad. And the other best thing about it is, he's too much like me, this fucking kid. They have an open skating, like 15 minutes of open skating in a circle at the end. And between the three levels, there's like a hundred kids there. And I would skate around. But then when I've been watching them since I'm not doing anymore, I realize there's another kid in the classes with him. And he arbitrarily has decided that that kid is his enemy. And his goal at the open state is to always pass the other kid and go faster. And I have watched it over the weeks as the other kid has realized that my son is making this unnecessarily contest. And the other kid just instantly was like, "Fine, fuck you then, let's go." And my son is having these cool guys. - He's a bad guy. - He refers to me, he's like, "Dad, "you think my nemesis is gonna be there today?" And I'm like, "Yeah, he's there every week." And then this kid has light up roller blades, which Kyle is so jealous of. And he's like, "But I don't really care if he has light up roller blades because he wears a helmet." And he was like, "Making fun of the kid." For like a helmet, I was like, "No, no, no, no, no, that's not like a knock on him." You're actually just pointing out that I'm a bad father. Like, you should have a helmet. Like, I get you don't think that kid's cool 'cause he wears a helmet, but that's on me. That is not on that child. Like, that's my fault. But Kyle wants to destroy his nemesis. Every time his nemesis is better, it's gaining them. He is. - Oh. - Part of how I was like, "Dude, I'm not taking level three." He's like, "I wanna keep taking level two." I was like, "Then your nemesis is gonna get better 'cause he got bumped up to level three." He's like, "Fine, fuck it, let's go." Like, he didn't say fuck it, but in attitude, he certainly did. He certainly did. - Oh, he fucking rocks. - Yeah, it's a good time. It's a good time. What type of someone who did Kyle did point out that we're here in Chicago and you and I are both like, "Oh yeah, the East Coast where people have heard of the mob." Kyle did point out, "You live in Chicago." And he, the way Kyle phrased it was Chicago, not known for the mob at all. - Well, okay, I wanna speak to this. I have a theory that because obviously, Chicago's a union town, hell yeah. But not as strong anymore. And I believe that the mob needs to make a concerted comeback in order for unions to thrive again. And I'm just saying. - People are, I'm just saying. - Think about it. - The idea that the mob involved in the week that have a specific, I mean, I'm very involved in my unions now. And I do think it is not a shock to me to see how very large United Union actions get almost no press coverage. 'Cause if they gave it the press coverage that allowed for momentum, it would fuck up our economy and they don't want that. And it's wild to see that when the Longshoreman shut down the West Coast, almost no articles about it. That general strike that happened just yesterday, I got the sense that tons and tons of people are participating. I've seen no writing about it. Now my dad shows how much power we have as a labor movement is they don't want to validate it when we go big because they know we're one of the last things they can fuck them up. And it is interesting to think about. If we got the mob back on it too, that might push us past that typical and where real change happens. - I'm telling you, Chris, I'm telling you because look, at the end of the day, even if they were skimming off the top, like politicians do that now. And what are they doing for us? - I think you're not wrong. If the only mobsters, if the only mobsters are in the government, that's an imbalanced system, man. You need some other mobsters to counteract them. If they're gonna act like the mob, we might as well get the real mob back. They did shit more ethically, honestly. - Exactly, that's what I'm saying. - This is proudly pro-Mafia podcast. I'm saying it right now. I'm from Essex County, New Jersey. I know my roots, man. The Mafia, it is kind of hard to argue that the Mafia offered a counterbalance to government graft. And the weakening of the Mafia has perhaps been a thing that's let the government graft run out of control. I mean, if there's a foul argument out here. - I'm calling you. - I'm calling into the chart right now, right? Like, I was reading the book that the Irish men is based off of, and listen, Jimmy Auffa, he fucking said, "If you guys don't mean our demands, "we're shutting down the country by morning." - Yeah. - Like, the power that that has, I mean, come on, first of all, cold fuck. Like, hell yeah. And then on top of it, we could still do that. But who do we have? We need the Mafia. - But like I said, when it happens, it doesn't get enough press coverage. The Longshoreman on the East Coast, year or two ago, they were not given the Longshoreman on the East Coast AI protections. And a lot of foreign ports have a lot of mechanized and robotic systems replacing workers. And they were like, "We're gonna fight against that." And the president of the Longshoreman's Union on the East Coast, Port Norco-Lizabeth, went on TV. And if you remember, he straight up was like, "Yup." - You guys don't understand that if you don't give us what we want, the economy will shut down. And I believe his quote was like, "You won't have bananas by Wednesday." - Banana. - And then the government was like, "Solve this shit now! "We need the fucking bananas." Like, these guys aren't kidding. They could stop food from making its way to supermarkets. everywhere. So they don't like giving us all that attention as unionists, but then we might be the last hope. You said Kendall who says very specifically, the mob needs to make a comeback to destroy ice, which that would be a crazy fight. That would be a crazy fight. Also a couple follow up questions for our past topic. Abdullah is also making me laugh by signing every email, best regards, which is a bad guy. For this president wanted to know when you had the unfortunate bleeding sex incident, did that happen in Chicago? Yeah, it was my it was my first two weeks back to school post when COVID started. So I started school in fall 2019 left in March 2020. And then I came back. Yeah. And Angela wants to know why didn't he take you to the hospital? Why did he take you back? That was my fault. I had the time. I was so like, I mean, probably most people in that room know the millennia bit of like, if somebody spilled soup in my lap, I would apologize. Like that was very much the headspace I was in and I kept on telling him like, oh, don't know. It's fine. It's okay. I'll totally be okay. Even though I already knew I was around the hospital, but I was just like, I'll spare him of this, which I know in retrospect, it's fucking insane. Were you raised Catholic? Yeah. Do you apologize while you're bleeding to death and later come out of the closet? Yep. You're a Catholic. Oh, Chris, you don't understand. I was apologizing to the nurses, changing my batting as I was waiting to go to surgery. Like, it's that serious. You and I are similar people in many ways. I think that similar ways. Danielle wrote in and now this is getting real while Detroit. Danielle wrote in and said, I will also accept the cartels taking out ice. We are literally unironically cheering on criminal organizations against federal government thugs at this point and not even kidding. Like if Mexican cartels, we'd all be cheering. That's fucking not stupid about what is happening. Look, gangs and the mob were started to protect the communities in the first place. So what's going on about that coming back? You got to realize we released podcasts like this and it's still the show smaller than it used to be, but it's still going to be like between 30 and 50,000 people here and I'm telling you, I like that you're putting it out there because I know the historical truth of what you're saying and it's a dialogue they don't want. I want to just look at my end. I personally don't know that I need to endorse cartels storming America to fight federal agents. I just want to make sure that for anybody, I am certain that this part will be flagged and I just want to say this is ultimately I do have roots as a comedian, even though this show is not always comedic. I will just say for mine, I'm having fun with that idea, but I don't personally want to see cartels. I would be more into the mafia because they do have more law, law and historical roots in the country. But for legal reasons, this is all a joke. Yeah, legal reasons. For legal reasons, we're joking, but also wouldn't mind it. What's it like being a lady in construction? Well, it's not as fun without the mob involved. I'll tell you that much. It's very interesting. I mean, I'll tell you, I'm talking to you guys right now, but I'm not nearly as interesting as some of these fucking guys that I work with because they tell me things that I don't even think they've confried to been their wives about. I think it's what the lawyer's wife because I'm the only woman on site at any given time. What do you do on the job sites? So I'm an inspector. So I'm the one walking around just like, I tell people I'm a glorified babysitter in secretary, even though I have a literal degree in civil engineering. But I basically just go in and make sure they're installing things correctly, documenting it, and submitting it for payment, taking photos, and hanging out with the boys. How much of a factor is hanging out with the boys for real? It's major because listen, and like I don't blame contractors and workers for not fucking with engineers because like we're technically working for the people they're working for and you know, we're looking out for our client. But what they don't understand, my die works construction. So he, the first thing he told me was just because you have a degree doesn't mean you know more than any of these fucking guys. And he's right because I don't know what the fuck I'm doing most of the time. And I'm just learning as it goes because that's what most of construction is, which is probably why there's a lot of the things in road work. I hate to break it to everybody. Nobody knows what they're doing. Oh, Angela has a great question. Do you ever have any feelings about those caution men working signs around construction sites? Um, not particularly the thing I have beef with is bathroom availability. I was going to ask about this. Trust me, it is infuriating. Like I used to be at certain sites where I would be there. And actually in my current field office that I have, the bathrooms are always fucking locked. And for whatever reason, the woman's bathroom is the only one with like a lock and key. And I don't have a key. And my company never had to like worry about it because there's never really any women around. And like landlord is refusing to like give us a key. So I just have to like walk and hope that somebody left the door open or something. What's this fucking insane? Yeah, that's not cool. My buddy, I got a buddy in Jersey, Bonnetouch. He's a surveyor, union guy and works at job sites. Like he rebuilt, you know, he did all the surveying, rebuilding the runways at North Carolina airport. Like huge, huge job. He, there's a bridge that goes from Jersey to Staten Island, the Bayon bridge and they had to raise it to allow modern ships to be able to pass on her. And he would, they had to go in in the middle of the night. He strapped up at the top of the bridge with his surveying equipment, doing the survey, his body slipped at felon at the rigging they were on, caught them and they're like radioing down the surveying results to the guys raising this bridge like hardcore union construction guy. And he has told me many times that poor to potty is on construction sites that he never understands. Like we all got to use these things and sometimes we're in the middle of the night and they're the only option we have. But consistently they go the most fucked up disgusting bathroom environments he's ever seen. And it drives him crazy because he's like, this is our option. Why are we doing this when we're already using portapoddies? Sometimes in the freezing cold in the middle of winter at 3 30 in the morning, he says that you would not believe what a, what a portapoddy looks like on a construction site. Oh, it's branded. And you know, the stuff that I've actually encountered is not nearly as bad as what my dad has encountered over the years. Like he has walked into portapoddies and like on the site and literally seemed like used meadles like shooters out like back in the old day, olden days, which is like literally not even two decades ago. But like that's the shit he saw. But I just see shit in piss everywhere, which is fucking ridiculous. And you also told me and I wonder if you've done this too, that job site safety videos that are shown to you new structure workers are some of like the most horrific borderline snuff films you can imagine. We're going to pause because ads makes the capitalism of this show run. So we've got some. We'll be right back. Thanks so much. This episode is brought to you. Of course, by our exclusive snack hydration and coffee sponsor, I'm talking about IQ bar and I love this company IQ bar. Those are the protein bars IQ mix. That's the hydration mixes IQ Joe. That's the mushroom coffees. These are the delicious low sugar brain and body fuel you need to win your day. It's the new year. That means a new clean slate. You can go ahead. Everybody's looking to transform, right? Well, one thing you can do is transform your frustration into fuel for your body. You can power your day with IQ bar. The ultimate sampler pack. It's a great way to try all the IQ bar products and flavors. 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Bonitouche also told me, and I wonder if you've done this, too, that job site safety videos that are shown to union structure workers are some of the most horrific borderline snuff films you can imagine. Oh my god. It is in there. I could tell you a literal module that I remember to this day, 40-hour fucking Haswapert seminar. I'm taking it and it's this fucking video of a Styrofoam head. And they were trying to show the importance of safety glasses. And they shot a fucking nail gun right into the head. And I don't know how they rigged it. They must have had some ESX people there or something. But blood was in the head. And they just fucking shot out. I was like-- I know this makes me aware of I would pay good money to access these types of training videos. I think I'd have a video event. I'm not even joking, because it took me by so much surprise. I was like, where does OSHA get the fucking budget to have this production's value? That's amazing. I feel like this is a whole undiscovered genre of video that will whip around the internet someday when people realize they're just sitting there for the taking. Absolutely. And it's a lost art, honestly. Kendall sent a couple of emails. Kendall's really contributing greatly to the show. Thank you, Kendall. Wants to know, what's the worst injury you've ever seen firsthand on the job? What's the wildest thing you've ever found on a construction site, says, perhaps the dead body? And also, says a separate email that in all caps says the words, ice is a criminal organization. So, contributing all around. Very true. What do we think of injuries you ever found a dead body? I've never seen it luckily. I haven't seen any injuries, but I've been a part of full-on explosions and near-death experiences like that I almost bore witness to. I used to do utility work on a site. And we were excavating. And we found this utility in Chicago. It's a very old city. There are utilities everywhere. And a lot of times, when you stop using a service, they don't take it out. They just leave it. And so it's not on plans or something like that. So we're there digging. And we hit this thing. And it was an explosion. I'm not-- a huge fucking pop fire, whatever. Luckily, nothing caught on fire. But we're all standing there. And we're like, OK, what the fuck was that? And then all of a sudden, all the people from the surrounding buildings-- all you-- this was, I'll say, a rail site. All the fucking workers come out and are like, where the fuck is the power? We accidentally showed off the power to have the site. But I was like 10 feet away. And there was a guy standing right next to it in the hole when it happened. And yeah, he didn't get killed or it went on fire somehow. And then another time, we once almost hit a saw cutter, almost hit a 480-volt line, which would not be good at all. So yeah, now, oh, actually, I just remember. I saw a guy jump from a fucking bridge running from the police. Yeah. Wow, on the job. Yeah, we were-- the site that we were on, we were underneath an overpass thing. And it was near a specific river in Chicago. But the guy was like-- I was standing there. And the cops were chasing him and he was running over it. And he jumped off the bridge until the banks of the river. And then we were just like-- we weren't close to it, but we could see him. We weren't sure if he was like dead or not. And then we saw movement. And he ran away. But then we didn't see the end of it. That is a crazy middle-acted show witness. No context, no resolution. That's wild. I felt like it was a part of mission impossible cut scene or something. We just got an email. It says, I used to be an engineer in a UAW plant. And they would tell me the most insane shit. I got to hear some more construction work stories. Best regards, Abdulla. [LAUGHTER] There's always one there, because I would always joke with the guys that they are very homoerotic for being straight, burly construction guys. OK? They don't tell you that they make the most sexually suggestive jokes to each other the entire day. That's how the days go by on construction sites, basically. They don't want-- that's a secret. They don't want the public canal. But I was addressing this comment. And I was like, yeah, you know, it's kind of weird guys whatever. And one of the guys, which I can't even go into detail about because it's so specific that I don't have content. But I'll just say he was a sex addict, a drug addict, and all of those things in the life before. And that was a man of God. But anyways, stops in the middle of us and says, yeah. And I feel like I'm the only one to make a joke about stuff like that, because I'm the only one here who's other dick sucked by a guy. And when I say we all just want to silence, and we were like, what? And he goes, yeah, but I could confidently say it wasn't for me. So every construction site is basically like 30 seconds away from being heated rivalry? Yes, absolutely. I wish actually. [LAUGHTER] I like that you're laughing about it. But it also does sound-- it sounds like a real double-edged sword, because on one level, you're saying it's homoerotic. But there's also-- it's right on the edge of homophobic. But you're also being welcomed in as one of the guys. But you're also queer, which you've mentioned. That's got to be a weird line for you to walk at times. So how much of this is bonding and actually part of this culture and in some ways reflective acceptance, and how much of this is just not OK? You must think about it. I think about it constantly, because it's like-- I'm yet again, the only woman around at any given point. And it's like, I know I'm going into their environment. I don't want them to feel like they have to change their ways, because I'm just coming in there and like, you know. It's unnatural for a woman to come into their environment, which sounds crazy, but it's just the truth. And I always make a joke with them, but also I seriously mean it where I'm like, guys, if I feel like you're sexually harassing me or something, I'll at least tell you first. So we could talk about it and make sure it doesn't happen again. Which like I say jokingly, but it does work. I've been on certain sites for at least a year or whatever, and I'll be with them and they'll say something and they'll be like, was that too far? Sorry, was that too far? Was that too far? You know, whatever or my bad or anything like that. So it's like a weird line to always walk on. I always try to keep the fact that I'm queer, not available to them because I've encountered scenarios where they're like, oh man. So then like we could talk about whatever, let's talk about tips and everything and I'm like, well, I'm still a woman, which is so it's a tight, tight rope to walk on an everyday basis. It also is, and I'm, this is a joke, but there's a lot of truth to it too, where you go, if there's ever an HR complaint that comes down that says, hey, everybody's reports of a lot of homophobic comments here. So we got to have, you know, some sort of training or seminar on that. Everyone's going well, it's either the lesbian or the guy who gets a dick sucked by the guys. We know exactly who it's got to be one of those two people. Yeah, but it's just like, I think a lot of these guys, they would prefer to just be upfront about things because I feel like they respect this. They don't respect people who go above their heads as much as if you were to go to them first. They were. And I think it's just like, yeah, exactly. Yeah. And yeah, so I've honestly really not had any issues with a lot of contractors. I've had more issues with my actual like engineering peers than anything, which is really interesting. You got it. You got a cool life. Cool. Oh my God. Thank you. Kimi has sent an email. Kimi has sent an email that is going to be hard to read, fully without cracking up. Kimi, I thank you for this. The world would be a much better place if the men could get all their frustrations out at a construction orgy, rather than offloading all their problems on the women in their minds. And absolutely. And you know what? I feel like I'm the sacrificial lamb at a lot of ways because I like I said they tell me a lot of things that I don't think they've ever confided in their wives about. And you know what? If that's like the sacrifice I have to make, then I'll take it because a lot of the times I'm a therapist on say I get most of the time I get so well they just do it. And as long as it's not anger or frustration, whatever. Yeah. It's cool. All right. Construction. Big fan of the mob used to work for them indirectly. What else to almost died via sex? I want. I drive an ambulance. I volunteer to it. I will tell you I want to answer the call where. I had a couple of had sex and she had a seizure during it. It was very strange for me to answer a situation where as the aunties were helping her. I the driver who is not qualified was just standing there awkwardly with an 18 year old boy who was so sweetly terrified that you have killed her. And it was wild. So I saw another version of that unfold before my eyes. And by the way, they thought I like at medical training and I was like, no, I'm like I'm a literal idiot. I just drive the ambulance. Yeah. Like I can't offer you nothing. Oh my god. That's terrifying. Someone in the crowd. I think is hitting on you. Do you want me to read the email? Sure. Someone sent a pretty slick email that says does she like tall women or is she taken? Which I think is a tall woman in the crowd saying she likes your vibe. Well, thank you. And yeah, I'll say I like your vibe as well. And I am single and like people of all heights. I like that. Good to know. We go also just revealed that she's married. But she's willing to be person. We've got about 13 minutes left. What else what else do you have on the agenda that we want to get to? I mean, I also mentioned I love movies. I'm a frequent movie go or proud AMC a list defender and wielder of. I'm not a good guy. That's that's you other thing that I've filled my time with when I'm not on construction site or dying. Yeah. I feel like it's been a very, very quick shift with Americans relationship to movie theaters. It's been it was not that long ago that I would go to movie theaters and they would be. It's significantly more well attended than now. And it feels like a bomber. Yeah. Like we're like moving on from a tradition that's been a part of our lives for many, many decades. But you know, I think that the times are changing, you know, as somebody. I mean, I love going to I'm going to lose probably at least once a try so we can. Over the years since at the very least I've been in Chicago like the attendance has gone more and more up like last night. I want to go see Sam Ramy's new movie send help which like. A lot of fucking original Sam rainy movie, you know, kind of horror insane and it was a nearly sold out crowd on a Friday night. It's really awesome to see. I think things are definitely I mean, I'm also in a major city. So who's to say. But what I think it's kind of changing hopefully. Yeah, me too. And we can't let the movie theaters die. And then the stream now the streamers are making movies and then they put them in theater for like 10 days to get awards consideration and yank them like no. No, part of our lives. Katie wants to know what your what's your letter box top four. Chris, I'm going to ask you a question. Okay, so it's not pretentious. I wish it was a little bit more but my number one is when Harry met Sally. My number two is the worst person in the world. And my number four is social network at the moment. Wow. Okay. I have. I don't have great taste and what I don't. In anything, but what I do have is that when I fall in love with something I fall in love with it deeply and forever. So I would say my. Oh, and I'm so psyched to get to say this in Detroit. I wasn't even thinking it. My number one movie is set right near here. It's called gross point blank. It's great. Late 90s movie where John Q. Seconds an assassin returning to his high school reunion and gross point Michigan. Great movie. Number two is probably playing trains and automobiles. Number three, I tell you, I did not watch this movie for years because I was like it's a Christmas movie and they all kind of follow the same plot. Based on the title, I can tell it starts with the character is one way and then by the end redemption, Merry Christmas. And then someone was like, no, you missed the boat. And I watched it and immediately it was like bad Santa is one of my favorite movies. Bad Santa is the most fucking same movie that's ever been actually produced in the theater. I watched it and like 12 minutes in was like this was in theaters and that movie I have to go and read everything about it. The idea that that script floated around for years and everyone to read it was like this is amazing. You can't ever make this and then eventually they fucking made it and it's that good and that is by far one of the most fucked up in inappropriate movies I've ever seen in all the right ways. And it has my favorite joke. I'm about to spoil it. If you haven't seen it, just watch it. If you're listening, you get to pause the episode if you want or skip 30 seconds ahead to the room in Detroit. I'm sorry. The idea that he is interacting with the child for the entire film and then in the last eight minutes the child hands him his report card. He looks at it and goes, "Thurman, who's Thurman? Wait, is your name Thurman and you realize he is not as the child. His fucking name for the entire time. It makes me cry laughing every time I see that fucking movie." And there was one time where my mother-in-law came over around Christmas and Halley was like, "We got to watch a movie, my mother-in-law." What should we sit down and watch with my mom? I was like, "I got this." And we put fucking bands set on and I literally put it on just to watch my mother-in-law's reaction out of the corner of my eye and Halley shit it made it even better that movie fucking worse. And then number four is probably some combination of the Star Wars trilogy and the Warriors and any number of rotating things that really affected who I was as a kid. Well, yeah, I was going to say, "My favorite Christmas movie is Eyes Wide Shut." Your favorite Christmas movie is eyes wide open. eyes wide shut. - Yup. - Now that movie I felt like felt like a bit of a misfire when it came out, but the sense I get is that people watching it now are like, no, no, no, no, no, no, actually he was just way ahead of the conversation. - Yes. - There's been a reclamation of eyes wide shut, right? - Yes, like listen, Tom Cruise is so specifically able to capture a pathetic man in such a way I can't even describe. And it just makes me even more magical watching it and then also the fact that they played in theaters here around Christmas time. They probably do into Treyi too, someone confirmed that, but it's a blast. - Is it also just on a basic level as more information comes out about like billionaire elitist between Diddy and Epstein and weird sex stuff that eyes wide shut just feels less, like what the fuck is this and more like that's what they're up to? Is that part of it? - I think it's helping people get down to the main point of it, which is that it's a story about a man that is so insecure about the idea of his wife fucking somebody else that he goes to a secret sex cabal party to prove a point. Like I think that's the main thing you should walk away with when watching that movie. I think everyone goes in for the cabal shit and they're disappointed. But you would argue that if you view it as the dissection of an insecure man that it takes on all new meanings. - Absolutely. - Love that. Kendall says that if I go to a movie theater on Free Popcorn Tuesday, I'll get back that feeling of a crowded movie theater, which I like, but it does sound like Kendall, you might specifically niv near a theater that has something called Free Popcorn Tuesday. And I just want you to know not all theaters have that. If they did, I would definitely know about it. But I'm sorry to you live near one specific theater that has Free Popcorn Tuesday. None of the theaters near me have that. They should. - Although I think, yeah. - I think ANC starting a popcorn subscription being similar to A-list. That could be a lie, but I remember seeing it on the app. - Popcorn subscription you say. I want to listen to it. - I don't know the specifics. We're gonna need a research on that. But yeah, it's like you pay a flat thing per month and then I guess you get a certain amount of popcorn per week or something. I know they're starting something. - What would you say your best unexpected experience in a theater is? - Oh, well, okay. So I was, this was really, it was my own personal annoyance. I was at the music box theater in Chicago, one of the best fucking theaters in the country. And they were showing a 35 millimeter print of the shining. And there was this man sitting behind me that was eating popcorn in the loudest way possible. Like the most obnoxious, you could imagine him shaking in his hand, throwing it up in the air and catching it. Like that's how loud. - That's why. - And during the shining, I was turning into Jack Torrents himself. Like I fully understand what he was going through up there. - Wait, and you say that's your best experience in a theater? - Oh, I thought you said worse. - No, I said best. And then you describe everyone's nightmare. You described why people don't like to go to the movies. - I thought you said worse. No one ever asked me for best. - Yeah, no, I'm trying to keep positive. I can tell you mine and why you think yours. - Okay, yeah. - And this is why I'm like, I don't want to watch all my movies at home. I don't even, like even people have home theaters. I'm like, sometimes it needs to be communal. I was, if I remember right, I lived in Los Angeles for a few brief months. I think it was early 2004. It was either 2003 or 2004. And I learned so quick, I like Los Angeles a lot. I'm not a Los Angeles hater, but I did learn so quickly. If you are prone to loneliness, God damn, that city. That Los Angeles loneliness is lonelier than any lonely that has ever lonely. That is a lonely city when you are lonely. And I was there, I was young, I was depressed. I was working and there were some positive elements of it but when I would feel, when it would hit me, it was so bad. But there was this place called the Arclite Cinemas, which I think is closed sadly on sunset. And it was like, everyone is talking like, they got like the actual Hollywood cinematographers to pick out the screens and figure out the placement of the protectors and then they got working Hollywood sound union members to figure out all the sound systems and the closest, I remember one of the things was the first row of seats and all of their theaters was far enough back that if you folded the screen down, the seats would be that far away. So there were no bad sightlines and it was an amazing theater. So when I was feeling really down, I would just go to the Arclite and see what was playing and just go see it based on the time I was there. 'Cause it was always a pleasant experience 'cause the theater itself was so great. And I went in and I was just like, here's what's up next. I guess I'll go see this movie. And for people who have seen it, I think you would agree to know nothing about this movie and go in and just watch it in a perfectly designed theater. It was a city of God about the gang, the kids in the gangs in the, in the Favella's of Brazil. And I watched that movie, no foreknowledge of it, packed theater, brilliant fucking, like Borderline Perfect movie, great soundtrack, insane period costumes, and just walked away being like, I think I just learned about a whole other part of the world that I didn't even know existed before this movie. And it was the perfect movie going experience I've ever had. - Hell yeah. - What about you, that time that Luna took through popcorn up in the air? - Not quite, no. Okay, so two came to mind. One of which was when I saw the substance for the first time in theaters, watching everybody squirm like that, including myself, just altogether was magical. Like it was so fucking fun to be a part of and just everyone experiencing such like visceral feelings like that, it was amazing. And then my second one was, oh my, it's a flux for any xenophiles in the fucking room. But I saw a parasite in October of 2019 for Chicago Film Festival, knowing nothing about it. I had just seen about it on Twitter, all the stuff. And I was like, okay, I'll just go into it, sold out theater, all the stuff. I can't even describe the energy in that theater. It was incredible. And then to watch it win best, I'm sure all of it wrapped in one. Yeah, just anything that has that energy like that, where you're watching something that you know is like, not only changing yourself, but also changing like the landscape of film as we know it, it's pretty special. - I gotta say, I like talking to somebody who hangs out all day on construction sites and they watch his cool artsy movies that night. That's a good mix. I will say Andrea just realized, Andrea put it in the subject line, divisive. AMC popcorn pass is a racket. Get 50% off of a large popcorn every day. Get yours for just 29, 99 plus tax. You gotta pay 30 bucks a month and then you only get 50% off. I see why you say that's a racket, Andrea. But as mentioned, our caller does support the mafia. So maybe a racket right up their alley, right up their alley. I don't know if that pop would pass and support the price you're paying. - Hey, I didn't say I supported it. I knew it was happening. - Caller, we have-- - Which is the-- - Oh, which is the what? - I'll say which is a mob answer, but-- (audience laughs) - We have about 45 seconds left, so I wanna make sure I say thank you. This call has been lovely. I wanna thank everybody in Detroit for contributing a lot of questions, a lot of activism and a lot of-- Before we start recording, let's be honest, anti-Chicago rhetoric. And if you have any closing words for the free feed before we do the five questions, caller, I'd love to hear your closing words. Well, I hope I was able to change, of course, an amulet is going by right now. Maybe Chicago does suck. I hope I changed perception about Chicago a bit and Detroit, you fucking rock. Thank you for listening to me on a Saturday night. (bell ringing) - Thanks to everybody for being here. Thanks to Andrea. Thanks to the sanctuary. Thanks to everybody organized the show. I'm gonna jump off stage and then momentarily, if you wanna say hi, I'll be in the back. We actually, Andrea drove all the way to Chicago and because of that, we were able to bring merch, which we almost never do. And Allison, Allison, your first contribution is to say, I love diet coke, I like you more now. The first email you sent is at the very end. That's hilarious email to send. Maria wants to know if my friend replied. He has not yet, but if he does between now and when I leave, I will make sure I tell everybody that he hangs out. All right, thank you guys all so much. It sounds like my friend Randy won't be able to hang out and get food. That's okay, Randy. I still love you. Also my friend Randy, my friend Randy, we got to know each other because Randy legitimately almost died of COVID very early and none of us really understood what it was and his friends were all punk rockers and games while that thought was, it would be funny to have me do cameos for Randy which looking back on it is a cruel thing to do and it was upwards of a dozen cameos and this was a whole saga that went on and we become good friends and we catch up on the phone anytime I'm on a road trip by myself I call Randy and we talked for a while and CEO is doing and the weird thing happened that I don't know if you clocks Randy and this is the same thing I can only say on stage because I'm bad at sentimental conversations in real life but the last time we talked on the phone before we hung up you just quietly said I love you and I went I love you too and then we got off the phone and I realized that I have never exchanged the words I love you with my dad but I have exchanged them with Randy the guy who I met because he almost died of COVID which is a what a great way for a relationship to develop anyway I'm gonna catch up with Randy and just a little bit too and then most cell some merch you guys have been the best I always love my my travels and Detroit thank you so much for coming out and have a great night thank you so so much thanks for supporting the show this week on beautiful anonymous plus here's some of what you'll get from the five questions yeah I like turned to my friends and her older sister they were there with and I was like I'm about to faint I like pretty much went down they caught me and then um yeah they luckily the crowds rounding was very nice um and yeah they brought me right to the front and took me back well you mentioned this already I missed it who were you seeing when you passed out in their pit and had to be rescued it's embarrassing but 21 pilots ah I was an ice soul ah what a way to die don't forget to sign up for beautiful anonymous plus at beautifulanonymous.com