Connor Wood & Crossing Tribes

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And start delivering legendary performances, Luke. The link is in the episode description. We're on Spotify, video. Hey, Tiger Bell, a video now available to watch on Spotify, everybody. Spotify, Pay Me and Users. Get fewer ads and more eyes. We love fewer ads and more eyes. We love more eyes. Yeah. Get the third eye. Fourth. And watch more. Get Spotify, video. More and more much videos and watch it. I rushed to get here and I apologize for being late-conner. And I appreciate you coming and I enjoy you. Is he just scary vibes right now, Kat? No, no. I think he's just an artist. Out of breath. Yeah, yeah. I rushed out to get out. I left Mookie Bats house. Okay. Um, the mook I call him. And um, did you know who he was before you? Yes, I do. I know she'll hear Tani. I know Mookie another whole thing and um, I'm a part of that. No, you're not. Stop lying. I'm a part of the whole thing. This morning I was like, apparently Jules was like, where are you going? And you're like, oh, some guy in Mookie's house. I don't know who he is. Yeah, I was kidding. And then Jules was like, Tito Bobby, that's Mookie Bats. And you're like, oh, what does he do? Who knows who he is? Of course. That's not true. I was doing a joke. Connor, why would I fucking love, you know, my energy right now? Welcome to the show. Give Connor a round of applause. Everybody, yeah, yeah. Thanks for having me. Comedic talent. And um, what kind of coffee are you drinking, bud? It's black. It's black. That's how I like it. Yeah. Get your pound. Come on. They call it Americana because I'm saying it at a hotel where they call it an Americana. That's what it's called. Yeah. Well, it's just, it's just black coffee, right? No, there's a couple of shots of espresso in it. That's what's happening. Yeah, yeah. That's black coffee. No, that's a difference. I walked up the driveway. Hot water with a couple of shots of espresso. That's right. That's right. Yeah, yeah, that's black coffee. That's right. That's right. Invented World War II. Invented in World War II. Why George? Yeah. Uh, because the Americans wanted their water down coffee, not this thick ass espresso shit. So they said, put some hot water in that espresso and then that's how it became an Americana. Oh, it's been making me freak out every day. I've been telling you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, stop freaking out. Stop freaking out. Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. I've been doing math, and I'm like, jittery. I'm like, I've got to quit math because I'm so jittery, dude. I can't get hard. It's fucking crazy. Oh, I said. Yeah. So many things changed chemically in my body. We're like, I can't drink coffee anymore. I'm back to the first sentence I said to you. Yeah. I walked in. I was like, I was hoping I came up with a, and you were like, let's get you inside off the street. You look so nervous, dude. The driveway in the, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe stop drinking that. I'll take a breath. Yeah, take a breath. What? Me? All of us. Why? I brought a breath. Oh, it's Italian, too. Italian. What do you? I don't know. Why do you fucking know about Italian? I don't know. I don't know. That was good. Yeah. You do it. You do it. Italian, man. What do you think? New York, you guys. Yeah. I was this sick. Is that it? This is like Jersey. Yeah. It's not really like a Mofioso. It's just loud. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Can you do it? Yeah. Yeah. I'm walking in. Yeah. You just kind of yell at each other. I want to be, I'm not from New York. If that gets back to people that are from, I'm from Texas. Oh. If it gets a little mainstream. Yeah. How are you doing, you man? That's your Texas? Yeah. How are you doing? I haven't been back in a while. Yeah. Yeah. It's a more Mongolian. I'm okay. You're claiming Texas. Yeah. I got my eagle. Yeah. Anyway. Why did you do a Mookie Betz's house? How? Yeah. No. No. We bold. Oh, fun. Yeah. Like we bold? No. Like an actual ball. We actually bold. He has a bowling alley in his house. Yeah. A lot of these people do. What are these people? Famous people. Yeah. Michael Bay has a full-blown movie theater in his house. And I have a podcast studio. Michael Bay has an actual podcast studio. Yeah. I use my tiny space for a podcast studio. I could have had a jujitsu studio in a hero or an event. A Jojo. A podcast. Yeah. But I decided to do a podcast. What are you looking at, Khan? I'm looking around because I'm like, this is a big space. I'm honestly for a podcast studio. It would have been a good dojo, right? It's a great. I mean, it is. It is a dojo. Yeah. If you think about it. I put in a studio in my house. It's just the one chair. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. That's great. Kind of worked out. That's amazing. You live in Jersey now? I live in New York. Well, I lived in New York. Yeah. We were talking the other day that my lease ended. How do you know her? We should have been following each other. We did a show together. What in what world is in universe and metaphors? We were also all in Hawaii at the same time. Bobby. Yeah. That's right. He played at the Blue Note. You were in the Hawaii theater. Yeah. Yeah. Blue Note, great venue. It is. My tie. It's good. Have you done Blue Note? I've done the Blue Note. Yeah. I love that. It's great. I've heard it's awesome. Yeah. You have the guy white. It's interesting. You big guy white. Big guy white. Yeah. It's a great song. Big guy white. Hit the keys. Okay. Bala Bing. Bala Bing. Bala Bing. So you're on tour or what? Kind of. I'm not doing like an official tour. We stopped touring last year. We did two years of tour. And then we stopped. And then we just have a couple of shows going on. Just to get ready for Netflix is a joke. And then. That's right. And while you're out here. Yeah. What did you play? The Avalon. Oh, that's a nice theater. It was awesome. It was really great. How many seats? I think it was. It's standing 1700 by. I think it was 700 teeted. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah, it was great. It was. It was a great show. It's 6,000. Anyways. Hit the. Hit the keys. Sorry, it's sweating. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. This is me in my heart. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. No, I sold out because I bought the last six tickets, but. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it made it felt good. Did you go to the house? No, I didn't come across my desk. I think Dan Soder went on right after me. He was probably. No, the Ted Sarandos house Thursday. Oh, no. No. No. You weren't invited. I think I need to. I think I need to do a little, like, more than a thousand years ago. I get invited to Ted's house. Well, that was the first year I was invited. Really? Yeah. I mean, everybody was here. That was a cool. I'm zooming in on this photo. Yeah, I was. A lot of people were there. A lot of balloons and faces. Yeah, yeah. Did you see this Tom Segura sabotage on it? Who was it? Greg Fitzsimmons is in the photo. You know, Greg Fitzsimmons? I do. Yeah, yeah. And so they had us throw a ball. Right? Now, when they tell me to throw a ball, what the fuck do I do? He's throwing a ball like this. I don't throw the ball. You never throw the ball, my friend, right? I just did it. So they did one, two, three throw the ball, right? And I just went. Because I didn't want any, right? Yeah. Segura does, like, a long throw. So they catch his hand here. Yeah. Completely covering Greg Fitzsimmons face. I have the photo in my phone. Would you like to see it? I want to see it. I didn't notice it. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to show you. I wouldn't want my throwing form and then. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. - Yeah. - Next time they say, throw a phone, a ball, I mean, don't throw the fucking ball, dude, you know what I mean? - It's a really good foresight. Has that happened? Have you had another ball throwing? - No, it's an instinctual thing. So I'll show you the photo. - Yeah, this is this. - All right, so here's the, all right. So zoom in, where I am. - Where are you? - I'm in the middle. - Why is there so many people? - There's so many people. Go in the middle. See you be right there. You almost had it. - Yeah, I see. - Oh my, why is it blurry? - Why is it blurry? - It's right there. - The only photo they have. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oh, I see the fist. - Yeah, so I'm gonna touch you, the high death phone. - Please do, please do. - Yeah, yeah, because there's a high death phone. - This is more people than the first one, right? Like double? - It's double the people, yeah. - Jesus. - There's a lot of fear walking. - What does that mean? - Well, you're completely anxious 'cause I've never really seen the Eddie Murphy in the wild. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? And you see, you witnessed the Eddie Murphy in the wild, you're right? And then you see other people that you've just never seen in the wild before. - So let me ask you something. If you were at this house, right? And you saw, - You can. - You don't book shit at coffee. It's like, yeah, it's strong. - Yeah, it's really strong. - I'm sorry. - If you were at the house and you saw something that you were a fan of, would you walk up to them? - Yeah, I'm really bad at this. And this is something that, like, I know that it's exposure therapy. - Yeah. - I have not. (laughing) - Yeah, I have not like nailed this thing. - Yeah, yeah. - There's a thing, it's like, well, there's a couple of signs I'm giving you here. It's like, well, you weren't invited. That's where I'm like, it's not weird. If you, if you see me outside. - It was, I want to say this, right? It was Mark Norman, Sam Morrell, Santino, me, first time ever invited. - Wow. - Really? - Yeah, we've been around for so long. So it's like, it's not up. - Yeah, I think of you guys like OG. - Yeah, yeah. And then this is the first time we've been invited. So it's like, like, it's spayed there. - You guys are heavy hitters. - Yeah, yeah. There's Ronnie Chang with Tomlinson. - Taylor Tomlinson. - Yeah, and who's the, who's what? - The guy in the above Taylor. - Who's the guy above Taylor? - I'm Taylor. - Yeah, who's that? - I don't know. And yeah, go to the left. There's Will Sassup going to the left. Gamecook is acting like a spider monkey. - Yeah, he's over. - No, look at Gamecook. Go more further. - Yeah. - Further? - To the left. - To the left. - To the left. More to the left. - Yeah, yeah. - The spider monkey. - What's on his hand? - What is he doing there, dude? He's clinging onto the tree or something, but he's doing something. - He's like keeping hot. - Yeah, that's the throwing form. You don't want them to catch. - All right. (laughing) - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I think he's putting some spin on it. - Yeah, yeah, he's doing some spin on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Wow, yeah. - Yeah, so. - So Carter, you're weird around these situations. - I just, you know, there's one out of every five. I, it is so detrimental to me. - Yeah. - Like having a career in this. I think in this situation, I'd probably do a non-verbal. - Oh, no. - Oh, non-verbal eye-communication. - That probably just not looking. - All right, so I'm Bob Odin Kirk, right? I'm meaning a pizza, right? And I'm looking over at you. - Wait, wait, wait. - Oh, you look away. - You look away. - Yeah, 'cause I would already be looking at you if you're Bob Odin Kirk. - No, you, but to do verbal communication, you have to look at it. - No, I'm doing, I'm doing, I'm doing non-verbal, and I'm not, I didn't take the communication. - Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. - No, I'm Bob Odin Kirk, right? - Yeah. - Oh, yeah, zero vote. - That's not good. - Zero vote. - That's not good. - It's better than I walk up and I share something that I, you know, I shouldn't. - What I did was with Odin Kirk was I walked right to him. I'm a comic and I just wanna say, he's just one of the best and you influenced me so much. And he goes, "I know fucking who you are." And he gave me a hug to get a photo with me and we talked about Titanic. I won one of my favorite sketches on Mr. Shaw. And we, and he told me about some folklore about the song. He was super sweet. Then I saw John Stewart. I tapped him the shoulder and I got him a big fan. And he gave me a hug and talked for a bit. And I did all that. - That's awesome. - And that's not your, you-- - That's not my thing. - I know, but I'm telling it where I'm asking Connor. Like that's not-- - Yeah, you gotta learn to do that. So attack me on the shoulder and just, let's see, I'm Eddie Murphy. - So go ahead. - I fear. - Okay. - Sorry, I shouldn't have full palms, you're back. (laughing) - That's not my way. - No, no, no, no, no. - I like that answer. It's actually, I shouldn't have-- - I shouldn't have full palms, you're back, Eddie. - Yeah, that was-- - Yeah, don't touch me. - Okay. - Yeah, no. (laughing) I agree, it takes that, you can't. - You got no shoulder blades in my back. - You gotta go right into compliments. - Oh, that's-- - Okay. - Yeah, I mean, what are you-- - You're talking about your own behavior. You get two seconds with the guy. - Yeah, yeah, I loved-- - No, no, no, yeah, I'll get to it again. - Okay. - I loved rush hour. - Eddie, sorry, Eddie. - What's up, man? - I really liked the haunted mansion. (laughing) - That's the movie. - No, but would you like, I really did like the haunted mansion. - I know, but that's the movie. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, he probably appreciates that. Are you ever willing to-- - No, it doesn't. - 'Cause he's younger. - Yeah. - 48 hours. Beverly Hills Cop. - I think haunted mansion, then I could go to, you know, it's crazy is when I you see-- - You've already lost him. - No, no, you haven't, because I'm telling you-- - He's talking now to Kevin Hart. - No, that's not true. I'm telling you, I'm telling you, Eddie Murphy loves that he has younger fans. I think he feels like he lost that group. And so a young kid saying, I love haunted mansion is the movie. - Haunted mansion for me. And then you do something from the heart. - Yeah. - I just remember it being, I'm for one year for Christmas, I got a portable DVD player, which was a cool shit I had ever seen. And it was little, and it was actually pretty big. It was the size of a laptop. Now I've lost him. - You've lost him. (all laughing) - He's packing his bag. - He's also opening his bag to put it in. (all laughing) - All right, get out of here. - But here's the rear-rated haunted mansion. I put it in a-- - Okay, okay, he likes it. - Here's the rule. - It is a classic-- - It's a classic. In this genre, yeah. - But Connor, the rule is this. You don't touch, you don't-- - You don't touch Eddie Murphy? - I think he's-- - When he walked, no. When he walks into the, he was like one of the last guys to enter. And you could see he stopped the party for a split second. - Wow. - Right, and you realized, oh, you don't just walk up to the guy and go, I love haunted mansion. (all laughing) - You know what I mean? So what I did, what miraculously what happened was, I was the first guy to be in the photo, and he was right in front of me, and he looked at me, and he goes, nice to meet you, young man, and he shook my hand. That's sick. - Right? And I went, "Oh, he was the good to meet me too." - I love doing haunted mansion. I love the haunted mansion. (all laughing) Boo! (all laughing) - Favorite party. (all laughing) - But I do want to talk about if you had to tack Bobby, would you do this, or would you go full-pom, like honor? - I'm not big enough for a tap. You go directly to my face. - No, I'm just saying, if you were to tap. If you had to tap someone, do you use, do you do? Like, 'cause I feel like those things are really- - I don't think you're long E.T. finger. No, that's weird. - Yeah, 'cause this is really like a facet. - E.T. phone home. No, yeah, I don't do that. - That's why I didn't think about that. - I felt like that too. - No, this is what you do. This is what I do. - That's what I was trying to do. - Yeah, no tapping. - You hold it, maybe a tap. - You hold a little bit, did know that there's a presence there. - Maybe grab the collar, be sure. - 'Cause he was in, all both all the instances, is that, do you understand what I just said? - Instances? - Yeah. - That's how I would've said it too. - All instances, right, right. That I encountered was a light hold on the shoulder, to let them know that I'm around, but finish your conversation. 'Cause they're all in conversation. - Maybe, can I think, this look? - Go ahead, Pat. - Thank you. (upbeat music) - Who? - What's up, baby? - Yeah, that's right. - You, for your body. - Oh. - A protein. - For your body. - Everybody. - You guys, you know, sometimes I don't even eat a meal. - Oh, wow. - Yeah, I do, you all. - Okay. - It's better for you. - 35 grams of protein per RTT bottle. A complete meal, not a protein shake. Have you had this before, Luke? - Yeah, it's really, really good. 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Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know we sent you. Helixleaf.com/tigerbelly. (upbeat music) - My strategy would be this. If I saw someone that I really wanted to talk to, I would kind of see if they were gonna go get a snack. - Oh, surveillance. - A little bit of surveillance. - I see. - And then if they were like going in for a cheese, I would be like, oh, me too. Kind of like a. - Oh, me too cheese. - I love me too cheese. (laughing) - Me too cheese. - You did that when I sat down. - Yeah, I sat down here. - Yeah, I sat here and said, "Using coffee?" - Me too. - Yeah, we thought that was crazy. - Oh, that's, you're interesting. - But you're looking for a meat cube. - Yeah. - Like a romance. - But it's then it's normal. So it's not like, oh, I'm like, I'm not like, you know, I'm just like, I also like cheese. Eddie Murphy. (laughing) - Boo! - I loved you in the cheese, Eddie. - Just kidding. - Just kidding, man. - It was a cheese. - I know you weren't in that. - Yeah, yeah. Yeah. - You know what? - Yeah. - This shit, huh? This big. - What's the chocolate wasted? - You don't say chocolate in front of Eddie Murphy? I don't think. (laughing) Because I think that he would, you know, miss and trooper that that as something. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, chocolate. - You don't do that. - Like this, was the whole, the whole day, the whole morning, how long did people stay? Was it like a level playing field situation or was there still like levels to? 'Cause everyone invited. - You're right, so there are divisions. - It's like a high school kind of campus. - Yeah, yeah, so basically, you're hanging out with your tribe. - Okay. - Interesting. - And then you can see another tribe forming and you're realizing, oh, I'm, you know what I mean? Not that I'm lower class, but I'm like, not there. - Not that tribe. - Yeah, yeah. Because you see the Seinfelds, the David Letterman, the Ellie Murphy's, the cat grandma. - Oh, ship hell's up there. - Ship hell, they're all now talking in a circle. - Interesting. - You're right. And then you're like, you're over here with Mark Normand, you know what I mean? Sam, at least I am. - What a great tribe though, you're in. - It's a good tribe. - I'm not, I'm not downing my tribe. You know, war we would lose. (laughing) That's all I'm saying, you know what I mean? - I don't think so. - It depends on the war. - The war is though. - And then you have like, then the crows and the malanies and them in one tribe. - Yeah. - But you know, who's great spade? Spade, David Spade is always in our tribe. Because Theo is in our tribe. You know what I mean? So it's like we have our own tribe. Then I went for the Asians. - Interesting. - Yeah, so do you cross tribe? - I cross tribe. - Cross tribe. - Yeah, yeah. - I do. - And I went to the Ken Jungs and the Atsuko's and the Jimeo Yang. And we took that photo. - I saw that. Did they put on the people manually? - I think Eliza thinks she's in the Asian tribe. - Why? - Just seen. - Oh, because she's just next to Jimeo Yang. What are you saying? I don't know. - Oh, he's, oh, she's, oh, okay. I get you where you're saying. - Do you know what I mean? - She purposely went between Joe Koi and Jimeo Yang. - Yeah, yeah. - And she's squinting her eyes. - It definitely. The squit was right. - Was right. - Yeah, yeah. But look at where, I'm, am I close? - You look close. - Oh, you're in a different tribe, for sure. - For sure. - It looks like you're in the Black tribe. - Yeah. - Yeah, but I'm still below, Eric Andre. I think I'm in a good. - Tongue out. - Yeah, it's my tongue's out. - Oh, I was like, don't now look so upset. - I'm sitting at this sitting next to me. Because I went next to him and he's like, no, I did, go somewhere else. And I go, no, I mean, I'm standing here. - Can I ask, go ahead. - With all due respect, what is Kate Hudson doing here? (laughing) - I'm about to say something. - It is cool. Like, I have huge Kate Hudson. - I love Kate too. - Is she, was she, did she do it? - That's a comedic show, is that why? - Yeah, I mean, these are like all comedy. - All right, well, now you're gonna get me off. - Well, she's in rom-com. - Now you're gonna get me off. Now go, go up to the corner. - Nice corner. - Nice corner, now you fuck me up. All right, and wait, let me look, let me look, let me look, let me look. - Everyone here's a comic, right? - No. - Is Bill Burst there? - Scott, no, Bill Burst is not there. I'm gonna tell you, I think Scott MacArthur is there. - No, I was only curious about her. I didn't know if she had some new projects or something that's like comedy adjacent or comedy. - There's a lot of actors that are in the comedic field that were there as well, all the chick, that's cool. - That's awesome. - Do you think that people were very calculated about where they were sitting? - Oh yeah, you could see a lot of moving and juggling and stuff like that. - They're like, wherever I'm in this picture is gonna make it. - But I felt comfortable in the spot I was in, 'cause I knew Theo was above me and Sigur was a friend. And Whitney is a friend and Donald's a friend. I mean, so that was a nice little, yeah, yeah. But it was a walk through a lot of fear there. - Adam Devine's there, yeah, so it was fun, yeah. Anyway, next year for you. I'm gonna pass that stuff for you. - When they start letting just anybody get to his house. - Well, I'll be honest, this is double the amount of the last photo. - Yeah, this is a lot compared to last year. - Yeah, so it's like, I think they're gonna triple it next time. - Were there more shows this year? - Yeah. - Yeah, I think there were a lot more shows. And you know what, our show, I would think everyone to come out for the other podcast I do, you know what I mean? Bad friends and they came out to see our show. It was an excellent show. - Awesome. - You opened? - I did. - It did a great job. - Thank you. - Yeah, and I'm glad your show went well. - It was great. I don't do a ton of shows in LA. I was gonna ask how often you do-- - Too often. - Okay. - Yeah, too often is the answer. Yeah, what's the matter? - Nothing, nothing. I just, I have like-- - There's thin lips. I like it. - Yeah, there's almost none. - Yeah, anyway. - I can make them go completely. - It's made with white people's lips. I don't know what it is. - Yeah, I have been in a session with white people's lips. I don't know why. - He just doesn't like that there isn't a boundary with the lips for us, I guess. I don't know. - He doesn't like any lips cat. - Oh. - Yeah. He doesn't, he thinks mine are too plump. He thinks thin lips are too thin. It's like, there's no, he doesn't like lips. I think he wants people to just have like, an open hole in their face. - Yeah, he wants to deal with it. - I'll tell you the deal. - I'll be honest with you, dude. It's like, what is, it's unnecessary. - I don't think so, man. - Yeah, it's an extra aesthetic that God will, I'm just putting these on. And it's like, it could just be an open hole. - Yeah, it could just be an open hole. - You could still, you see of an opening. - Yeah, but. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you'll be able to control with muscle. - It would just be nice. - And you could suck her. - Yeah. - You could suck on the opening of the skin. You know, like if you're tongue kissing and stuff. - I don't like it. - All right. I'm at the designer. Maybe he was right. I'm not God. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. I was just, can I have my own preference? - I can. - I don't like eyelids. - Oh. (laughing) - I want an open hole. No eyelids. (laughing) - That's not much change. - It's wrong with you. - Yeah, yeah. You know, there's a lot of things I don't like about the human body. - Yeah. - No, same. I think we should have one, I say this all the time. One big tooth. It's crazy that we have a bunch of little ones. - That's a very, dude, you're so smart. - We have to floss. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. It should just be one bone. One big one. - Oh, like kind of like bailing like a whale. - I think those things that we have right now are just, it feels like we made these, I know that we've always had teeth. Now I'm going to start sounding real dumb. - Well, can I counter your point a little bit? - No, because I'm on the counter side. Because the reason you're saying we're just one giant connected, like two. - You have two teeth. - I know, but just one upfront or like a whole, just one giant system. - Yes. - One giant system. Because if you think about it like coral, one part of the coral gets cracked. - Cracked. - Then the whole thing is out. - I haven't gotten that. - I've not gotten that. - I'm going to defend it. - I'm going to defend your point of view. - I just floss a lot. - Yeah. - And then like I have this thing where I can kind of like feel stuff in my, - Right. - Yeah, so here's another thing. No roots. - We should do it. - We should do it. - We should do one solid tooth, no roots. - No roots. - So there's no pain, counterware. - How do you have no roots on your teeth? - No, I have many roots. - I don't want any. - You don't want any. - It's the pain. - Free floating. - Yeah, just one white tooth from end to end. And there's a cracks and you could feel the crack. - There is. - Yeah, one big cosmetic tooth. - One unit of teeth. - You need the root in order to feel what you're doing. There has to be a, in order for your brain. brain to know what your teeth are doing. The teeth have to be connected to the brain. How does that happen? Via nerves, that's the root. So then, if not, then what-- Why does your brain need to know what your teeth are doing? Because it's all feedback. What am I eating? Is this hard? Is this soft? Because if you don't have that information, you're just going to crack into a rock. I'll tell you how I know why it's not working. I can't get into it. What do you mean? Here's-- just listen to my point of view. OK. You got to hear this, right? I'm fighting into gold, right? And I'm chewing it for a while, right? You got in it? You got-- No, I'm like trying to chew a bar gold, OK? A little bar gold, right? And after about-- Totally. I'm going to do that. I was there right at the beginning. Yeah, yeah, pirates do it. Golds in your mouth. Yeah, pirates do it. Yeah, I'd be true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And after about six taps, I realized-- I look and I realized, oh, I can't chew this. So your eyes are doing the work. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, temperature. You need roots. My tongue has temperature. Can I have it? Maybe you can do your white tooth, but can we do different colors? Well, you can do that on your own at a facility. So this is OK. At that facility, they do that. So you can be like purple. You can choose one solid color, black, or whatever. You can dye them. A family member has such a big gap in between this two-- her two front teeth. That instead of doing braces, she just added an extra tooth between the two teeth. Oh, wow. She has one center tooth. Fuck it, new tooth. Yeah, new tooth. That's awesome. That's so much faster, too. She probably got that done same day and probably to go eat corn. Yeah, yeah, yeah, fuck you get it on her own. So I think that's pretty good. With the Michaels. I'm not so long to one tooth. Pop up it in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Health insurance, what? What about the other about the human body, as-- I'll tell you another thing that I realized-- I don't know if we talked about this. But I didn't realize that there were two holes in a woman's vagina. Oh my god. I think that's a lot. We talked about that already, right? A lot of men don't know that, I don't think. Yeah, yeah. It's a good trivia question. It's a good trivia. I would say. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I didn't know. I thought that the pee came out of the actual hole. That's so sad. I did too until I was like-- Like a fire hydrant. I don't know. I think a lot of people talk about that already, too. Yeah, that-- You know what I did learn from-- I cannot hear you see that one again. I did learn from Broken Conner's podcast about the mattress-- Who the fuck is Brooke? He does a podcast with Brooke. She's my podcast co-host, Brooke Averick. We talked about that yesterday. Well, I posted this video-- What did you talk about? From Mother's Day. A naturally healed penis. Matriline healed penis. Like a Conner will explain. Well, look at my eyes and explain it. I had heard that you get your penis from your mom. Not literally, you get your penis from your mom, but the bill of your penis. Oh, you do get-- You inherit it. My dad has a small penis. Yeah, he's not responsible for it. It's not passed down from dad to son. Your ass is your dad's. You have your dad's ass. You have your mother's penis. What about vaginas? Is that your dad's vagina? I didn't look into vaginas. Yeah, you have your dad's vagina. I for sure have my dad's vagina. Yeah, damn it. That's why it looks like bat wings. Hey, I'm walking over here. Yeah, you have your dad's second level. I'm clapping over here. Yeah, that's interesting. I have my dad's ass hole. Yeah, I don't know how-- I have cheeks, I think. I think the bill-- Where's the ass hole? That's your grandma. That's my grandmother's ass hole. Have my grandmother's ass hole. That's interesting. Very interesting. It is weird. Well, hair loss comes from the mother's side of the family. Not always. There's different kinds of hair loss. But it can. Yeah. Your tone is really crazy. [LAUGHTER] Yeah, yeah. Your tone is very aggressive. It's not always. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me try again. Yeah. Okay, say it again. Yeah, yeah. I heard the hair loss is from your mother's side of the family. Not always. Okay, that's better. That was a good delivery. That was a good memory. Yeah. Until parenting. That was a better choice. How about boobs? Are those from your dad, too? I for sure have my dad's tits. Yeah, your daddy's tits. That's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not a good thing. It's not. I only really looked into-- [LAUGHTER] See, I'm not an expert. It's not fair. And your other body parts, what do you think? I only looked into my-- Teeth? What are your one, two, three? I don't know. I know stuff skips a generation, too. So there is, like, you probably have, like, different-- your nipples are probably your grandma's or your grandpa's. Yeah. But I-- I think the assholes should be on the bottom of your left foot. Oh. Actually, you know what? This is the one thing I do agree with you about. Thank you. This is-- I feel like where the asshole is is not the most optimal. Sitting on it? Sitting on it? No, it's too close. And from a girl's perspective, I will say just the amount of, like, UTIs you can get from cross contaminants. That's you. And it's like the poop where the good stuff is. I just don't love it. I don't love the-- You pee out of your left foot. You poo out of your right foot. Oh, interesting. Like a Pepsi Coke kind of machine. And then the penis is only for sperm. And you can do a lot of work in that. How about-- We have some ideas. We're writing a new Bible. But what about blood for women? Where does that go? And when you say blood, why did you do this hand? Because I'm thinking maybe it comes out of the right hand. Oh, you have a-- for your period. Period, yeah. Yeah. Well, the baby comes out of the vagina. So I would say the same thing. Seed all the vagina. Keep it there, yeah. Wow. I mean, God did a perfect job in designing us. So we're not-- God, I'm sorry. You did a perfect job. I'm just throwing us some pitfalls. For the next round. For the next round, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I do get confused about evolution, like a lot. Tell me about it. Just like-- Tell me your confused stuff. Stuff evolves. I know that I'm-- I know that I'm evolving a little bit because I hold my phone. Oh. Oh, here we go. I hold my phone. It's a heavy phone. Fouds are heavy, kind of. If you're not built very well. And I'm-- I got my grandma's body, so-- I'll go, go, go, go. I hold my phone like this, like, on my pinky. You're in my right hand. Yeah, yeah. And you see when you look at my pinkies, say, apparently, maybe I have some more hands. Maybe just from this side. You see that little ridge here from-- Oh, I see it. Oh, my God, I have a tooth. Wait, I want to see it. Wait, wait, wait. Just my right hand. Yeah, yeah, because you don't-- Do I have a ridge? I have a ridge. Oh, my God, I have a ridge too. Yeah, I'm the pinky. This is bad. Yeah, because I hold it like this. Yeah. Oh, my God, years of holding this. Wow. So I don't know. Maybe our kids are going to have really strong grotesque pinkies. Yeah. So scary. I want you to cut this part out. And this is something that's evolved into my penis. But I can't have it out there. I'm not sure if evolution works within one generation. No, no, no. I'm talking about because we hold our thing like this. Oh, I got it. There's a dent. Because I use vaginal machines, right? There's a dent. No, the middle of my-- because I have the sucking thing. The middle of my penis, right? Yeah. Is super thin now. Like an hourglass? Yeah, so you guys take an hourglass. No, it's like an hourglass. You have a Kardashian. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It has a-- Like that. Yeah, like a vase. People pay a lot of money for that. Yeah, yeah. I know. And it's longer. No way. That's good. Because my-- the sucking, it's really powerful. Why don't you do the whole-- It could do-- Right, right. Yeah. And it's made my-- That's what I'm saying. The shaft thinner. So at the shaft is that it redistributed the meat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the meat-- And it put it up top? Yeah, yeah, the meat's up top. Or at the bottom. Oh my god. The meat on the bottom, meat on top. Oh my god. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gosh. Yeah, I don't know if I can put that out there. I mean, John's ordered that out. Meat on the bottom, meat on the top. Yeah, yeah, yeah. [LAUGHTER] I'll have it, Jimmy. You might push a lot of these-- Yeah, it really did. So I don't know if I can put that out there. But it's transformed it through use. An affiliate link would be great for it. [LAUGHTER] Really start moving some units. This might have to be a warehouse instead of-- Goja. That was funny. Very good. But that's smart. I mean, you were in marketing, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you were to tell me, by the way, college, high school, not only are you-- you're having a great experience at home with this device, but also you're at the gym, essentially. You're digs getting bigger by using this? No, not bigger. Longer. Longer? Yeah. It looks like an udon noodle. Yeah, udon. You still look like soba? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The chef. Very good chef. Yeah, yeah. No, but it's changed. So I guess, you know what I mean? Years of doing this has put a dent, right? But some other things that your body gets affected by you, so you think. [MUSIC PLAYING] [SINGING] [SINGING] Easy payments. [SINGING] [MUSIC PLAYING] You guys, you know, looks maxing. We talked about it earlier. Yep. And I have to say, and I don't want to put you on the spot, but Alex, we need to max out your look, right? So we're going to do some payments here. What's wrong with him? We'll describe him. Shoes? Well, he's shaped like a water buffalo. Yeah. I don't know if we can help that, but yeah. We can't help that, right? But I think the clothing we can-- so we're going to go, and we're going to buy you some clothing. Yeah. Right? And so a vintage look, cool pants, and some shoes. Well, so with Clarner, you could also money max, because you'll be able to have more money in your account and do it in small payments or 100% payments you need. Yeah, yeah. So you'll money max on top of your looks maxing as well. Exactly. So you're doing both, actually. Yeah. Where it looks maxing and money maxing. - Exactly, what else, there are Rams? - I like that also, it's really easy. It's just like four easy payments, you know? It's very nice and life is complicated. - Yeah, Clara also offers value transparency control and no surprises, pay now, later or over time, whatever fits your lifestyle, really, to be honest with you. - All right, so what do you think we should get Alex to help his Hobbit feet? (laughing) - Where I wore. - Is it a Hobbit, you know how they say men's women's, is there like mythological? - Yeah, is it like a hope for something? - Yeah, I have a really extreme wide feet. - You too. - You might need Tim's, right? - I think we get him Tim's. - Because then you can also, you'll get a little taller. - Our, our, pretty tight though. - Yeah, they're tight, it's leathery, it's tight. How about a Birkenstock? - Oh, I like Birks. - Yeah, Birks are cool. - You will do Birks. - Let's do some Birks right there. - A size Alex. - Let me guess. - You can go Bobby, what do you think his side foot size is? - The length, probably four foot, the width, 19 foot. (laughing) - So four by 19. - Four by 19, I think. - Yeah, yeah, maybe let's go to Home Depot. (laughing) Build them one. (laughing) - Wait, zoom in on those pants. (laughing) - That's what he needs. (laughing) - You need that, dude. - Okay, so we'll get him. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what looks like. - What's the Birks. - With the Birks. - Yeah, so you get the whole thing with the Birks. - Yeah, yeah. We're ski masks. - That's the first one. - Right there. - Yeah, it's ski masks. - It's on sale, wow. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, it gets ski masks. - So guys, download the Klarna app today or visit Klarna.com to learn more. - Yep, California resident, CA resident, loans, made, or arranged pursuant to the California Finance Law License, NMLS, number one, three, five, three, one, nine, zero, Klarna balance account required to be eligible for cash back points, limited limitations, terms and conditions apply. - Before we dive back into today's episode, great news for comedy TV fans. Every episode of the Hulu original series, Alison Steve is streaming on Hulu. - Oh my God, from the producers of Baby Rain Deer comes a new edgy comedy. Lifelong best friends, Alison Steve, see their world implode when Steve starts dating Alison's 26 year old daughter. 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(upbeat music) - Mmm, it's very interesting. - I saw a picture. - Well, maybe driving, maybe we're getting like - Tech knack is real, yeah. - Tech knack is real, yeah, yeah. - Pure, yeah. - You do have a slouch. - I know. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not a bad thing. - It's, I've always had it kind of-- - And you're also, can I just say another note that you're doing? - No, physically for you? - It's just like, I hate your hair. - It's a good note, I think. - Yeah, I noticed at the YouTube theater show, you're in the middle of the thing again. - I was walking around on there. - I just had to go to the front of the stage. - Okay, okay, I was, I thought I was-- - You're too middle of the stage. - Okay. - Okay. And it's like, it's a fear thing. - Like too far back from the audience. - From the audience. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, I used to do that. - But how big is the stage really big? - The stage pretty big, yeah. - That's scary. - That's not my concern. My concern is connecting with the audience, locking eyes with them and being apart. And it's, you know, an alpha thing. I'm not alpha on beta, but I'm definitely a bottom. - I think your alpha has to be a bottom. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - In play. - If I was in prison with Alex, he'd be like, just laying your stomach. - But how about your back? - I'd be like, every time. - Every time. - Come on, Twins. And every time. - I don't think so, because you're a guy who likes to hump once in a while. You'd like to get up there and hump. I don't think, oh, I see what you're saying. You do your. - I don't think you're a bottom. I don't think, I think you want to believe you're a bottom 'cause you're the smaller guy, you're shorter. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, do you want to look like you're a lifeline? - I thought you were looking at her. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - You sure that's a tight shot on someone else? (laughing) - Yeah. - No, I'm like, um. - How about if your butthole's on your foot, though, and then you have anal sex? How does that work? - Well, that we will eliminate that. - Oh. - Yeah, yeah, because I'm not a, that's not my thing. - How about the gay community? - Oh, fuck it, I didn't think of that. - Yeah. - Keep it up there. (laughing) - Yeah, I didn't think of that. - Yeah, yeah, go ahead, Connor. - I think that you just, we are brains would change if we'd be like that, I need to have sex with your foot right now. - Yeah, yeah, and then you could do it, you could be doing other things. (laughing) - You could be driving. - Yeah, you could be driving. You could be, you know what I mean? I'm watching Love on the Spectrum. - Yes. - Wait, now I think God's actually quite a genius for keeping it up here. - I think you're right. - It's because people, you can lose your limbs. - Yeah. - It's really hard to lose your asshole. - Yeah, I've never, I got in a car accident, I lost my asshole, that's never happened. - Everything else is fine. - I was on a motorcycle, I lost my asshole. - I mean, yeah, good, good, good point. - You would have to be like impaled, but like, you know, it's easier to lose like a digit or a limb in your body, this area. - Really reverse engineered that, that really simple. (laughing) - I know, we do reverse it. - Yeah, thank you God. - And on top of it, it's also, it's like, I'd rather lose an arm or leg than the butthole. - Yeah. - Because at that point, you need to put things in your body to do it. Like plastics and machinery, you know what I mean? And other things, you have to carry around another thing. - Like a colostomy bag. - Yeah, or something, yeah. And it's not sexy, you're at the club. - I mean, and you have a bag, you know what I mean? - What's in your bag? - And they're playing fucking daffong shit. - Shit. - Yeah, and you're trying to, you know what I mean? It's, I would make my not see through, probably black. You probably have some sort of print on it. - Yeah, they like coach. - No, Gucci or coach, yeah. - That's what they do now. Like a lot of people with ostomies or any kind of like bag situation, if they've had to get, you don't know if you know what a Barbie butt is, is if you've had like, chronic ulcerative colitis or crones, they just kind of shut it so that you, and then they do, if you have to live in an ostomie or a bag, they have really cool options now. - Like a satchel? - Yeah, very discreet. It's like, it's like the whole thing now, 'cause I have friends with ostomies and-- - I have no friends with ostomies. - You do. - Why is it called Barbie butt? - I'll be 'cause Barbie doesn't have a butt. - She has, she has, what's that, does it, crones is it? - I have crones. - Yeah, I can figure it out now. - Yeah, I didn't know that. - Which means something. - Guys, like, I, well, I had never heard that term, but I'm, I'm, immediately, I was like, I'm not gonna ask, I'll figure it out, and I've been, that's why I've been quiet. 'Cause I've been quiet. (laughing) Just figuring it out in my head. You know, go ahead. - No, I, I, I just, go ahead. - Well, no, I was gonna, exactly, - Exactly what? - I threw up. (laughing) - Yeah, tell me. - No, I just, I get, I have this girl on TikTok that does, she makes cool versions of all these, inherently, like, not. - Shit back. - Great to look at things, and they make some cool, and then people, you know what I mean on us. - Yeah. - Which is sick. - Except it would suck if you did show up with your Gucci Colossus can be bag, or what is it? - Yeah, I like it. - And then they had to be like, we have to check your purse at the door, like the bouncer. (laughing) - Oh yeah, that's, what, what's that about? - You're gonna do two things. - That would be like, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, if you wanna look, no, that, that, that would be a little bit, put them on blast situation. - Well, there's a zipper then, is what you're saying. (laughing) - Zip, take a look. - Causes some, I'm sure it causes people some issues. - Just like another, yeah. - What a great way to hide a weapon though. - I was gonna get this. - Yeah, that's right, I was gonna get it. - Oh, you're gonna look at my shit bag, and I'm like, no, don't look at it. - Exactly, and you're gonna have like a plastic gun. - Yeah, plastic gun. - So it doesn't, you know what I mean? Set off the sensor. - Mmm, ghost gun. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you have a poo gun. - I think that's a scary. (laughing) - Yeah, let's move on from this. Yeah, I don't know why we went down to the rabbit hole. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think it was your fault. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you both conspired. 'Cause you were like, you know what I mean? - Yeah, it was like, was I don't know, bullet points. (laughing) - Sorry from a single tooth. - Yeah, yeah, I went from tooth to that. - 20 minutes. - Yeah, and it was like, you know, we shouldn't question Causes on, I think. That's the point. - Yeah, what are you writing down? - Oh, I'm just crossing off things. - Oh, you have other things, you want. Oh, so that was a colonel class for that. (laughing) - The first thing on my list, you, I tried to bring up and you like batted it down. You were like, nah bitch. - All right, so let's start with that. And I wanna-- - No, no, it doesn't matter. I wanna see, no, let's just try. - No, it was a sunglasses issue because I had-- - Oh, your eye, let me see your eye. Let me see your, what are you guys doing? - I'm sorry, I, she was like, oh, looking at my watch. - It doesn't work, it hasn't worked in like five years. - Why do you know my eyes? - Why do you, why do you-- - Why do you know my eyes? - It's kind of like a habit. You click it on when you-- - We do this together too much. - It says it's-- - Is it like a lucky charm? Like you wear it 'cause it's a good one. - I know how to read a claw or a watch. I just, it's nine p.m. - Yeah. - And it just stays at nine p.m. - Yeah. Let me see your eyes. - That's nice. - No, I don't wanna show my eye. - I wanna show, I wanna see your eye. - I, no, I don't wanna show it. If you don't show your, your, your, you don't show me your eye. - I'll show them earlier. - I wanna see the eye. like it did I didn't know I'm gonna sit until you shed it. Yeah, I'm gonna sit until you shed it. - Yeah, you look like a cross-eyed, you know? - No, you always do. - No, it's a thigh. (laughing) - Yeah, looks the same, cross-eyed, what's new? - I'm attracted to. - Ew, I know you're more. - Yeah, I am. All my girlfriends have been, except for the current one, has cross-eyes. - Really? - Yeah, I like it slightly. - Yeah, I like it when it's a little, I don't like it when it's out like Michael Shannon. - Yeah, you have more of a Michael Shannon. - That are closer to that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's too ET-like for me. - What the heck? - What are you, what the heck? - Do my eyes go like this? - No, I'm just saying they're farther apart than what I like. - Okay, like a little bit. - Yeah, yeah. - But that's my perfect preference. - Together, yeah. - I mean, that's incredible to know that much about what you like. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's incredible. - Yeah, you're, let me look at your face. - Good face? - Yeah, yeah, it's a very good face, do you think? - Yeah, I do. - Wow. - Well, if you're a female, what it'd be attracted to? - Right. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - I understand. - You look kind of like Paul Revere. - Oh, you look okay. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You guys know what Paul Revere looks like? - That's just my good instinct. - Oh, it's Paul Revere. - It's the camo hat too. - The camo hat. - Yeah. - Okay, ouch. I'm like, come on, I'm pretty close. I was pretty close, dude. - What's up with the teeth? - Paul Revere, he's like, what? - He's got the little-- - He loves teeth, dude. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - He looks a little cross-eyed to me, or-- - Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I'm just saying, the vibe is like, you could, you deliver messages from town to town really quickly. - Okay, yeah. - The British, save the Britishers' coming. Say it, he looked-- - Yeah, the Britishers' coming. - The Britishers' coming right now. They're on their, the Britishers' coming. - The Britishers' coming. - The wall, that's cool. - I would mask tax, the Britishers' literally here. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would go, the Britishers' coming! - Oh, yeah, yeah, like, so then I have to, 'cause I feel like you're doing individual to individual. There's a lot happening. - I'm forgetting the level of urgency that he had. - He had-- - There was a lot urgent. - I'm forgetting what the situation was. I didn't know if they were coming. - He was very urgent. I would not, you would not be the pick of like, warning the towns, the Britishers. - Oh, why? - I don't think you have the vocal intensity to do it. - Oh, oh. - Yeah, I think I'm more of that. - Yeah, it's, no. - I think you for sure. - They're like, what? - You're the, you're a little bit. - Dude, I am the Korean powervere. - Okay, do it. And. - Well, I think it's gonna be so loud. - Okay, good. - Yeah. - Ready? - Yeah. - Whoa. - You wouldn't even have to write though. You could just do it in one town. - In one town, one town, that's it. - That's great. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - What do you think? - Yeah, no, you're the guy. - Yeah, I'm the guy, dude. - Okay, Connor, maybe you try now. - I can try. - When I really yell, I should stand up too. - I don't think I can go. - Yeah, yeah, go ahead. - Yeah, go far away. - And we're just, you know what, we're all meeting. I just want you guys, I'm gonna get ahead of it. I have a vein when I really yell. It does go down. - Love it. (laughing) - It's fine. - It doesn't end gelina gelie vein. - Yeah. - It doesn't look like that. - But don't get a stroke, right? - Yeah, right. - Right. - Oh, what? - Whoa. (clapping) - Whoa. - Your sound is modern. His does sound like powervere. - Whoa. - Very powerful. - Before, dude. - Yeah, yeah. - You do it now. - I will say that his voice kind of carries a little bit more than art. - Yeah, really? - It is. - Fuck you. - Just by a smit. - Just I. (laughing) - Okay. All right, so you step away, Kat. Let's see. - Step away. - Step away. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Okay. - Yeah, go a little back distant. Yeah. Not urgency. You know, they are coming. - Wait, come in. - Yeah, one, two, three. - The British are coming. (laughing) - She's on the side of the British. (laughing) - The British are coming. - Yeah. - Yeah. - People are just still plowing, making butter. - They're not moving. They're not moving. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, her again. - Yeah. - Why does she do this every fucking week? - We're trying to hang her long. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's still a very good look. You know, I mean, you have a very good look, is what. - Hey, I mean, I had not, I didn't know. It was funny. The cadence of Paul Revere's, is that what you were kind of saying? - No, I just think that you have a colonial look. - That's so fascinating. - Yeah, yeah. And you are. - Like maybe a quill. - Because people have been-- - I think you both have a Rockefeller. Not Rockefeller. Who's the painter? Norman Rockwell. (laughing) Yeah. Norman Rockwell, why it? - Is that the guy with the pitch fork? - Yeah, but he's the artist. - Oh, yeah. - He's done many portraits, right? And you have a traditional, you both have traditional white looks that Norman Rockwell would use. Which is, I think it's a good thing, right? You know, you guys are both likable looking, you know what I mean? Very Americana to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and it makes me feel safe, you know? I think George, I think George does not have that. - What? - Yeah, yeah, no, you have-- - Very normal Rockwell. - No, you're not Rockwell at all. Maybe you're like the shoe shiner. (laughing) You know what I mean? I like a, you're in the background, but you're not like the focal point. These are focal point true Americans. - F*ck you. (laughing) - F*ck you. - That's scary. - Like if I was an artist back then, let's suppose I was like a Norman Rockwell. I was walking on the street. And I love you as a human being, right? But you wouldn't be like my first like, "Hey, you want to be the center point of. " - Well, the center points all look like they've been through the Great Depression. - I would turn it a little bit of us. - I would turn it them up. - I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would turn it them up. - I think that what Bobby's trying to say is, let me help you out. Is that-- - I would clear what I would say. - Now like if there was a-- - I don't need help. - A Christopher Nolan movie and people had to be cast. Like you would get cast in Dunkirk. - That's what I would say. - Okay, that's what I would say. - George would not. - George would not, yeah, yeah. - I look like I would die early and in a war. - No, no, no. I think you, you and Harry Styles are a lot. - Yes. - Oh, yeah. - You gather, you know me and together. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - He would be the focal point. - Yeah, right. - Okay, wait, yeah, yeah. - This is your exact-- - Wait, wait, wait. - It was like, I-- - It was on the left. - That's me. - So that's-- - You know the guy that's the right, but not the guy in the left. That's the guy in the left. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I love all your jewelry. - Okay, yeah, yeah. - I can't confuse. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And that's a hair style. - Yeah, yeah. - It looks like a cast, like just bring up the cast of Dunkirk, and I'm telling you, that's where Connor belongs. - Yeah, cast of Dunkirk. That's how Falfa. - Yeah, yeah. - Oh, that's, I like it. - I've been getting, I'm liking this, yeah. - Yeah, it's very good. It's a very good look. What are you talking about? - Yeah. - I've been getting Charlie Kirk a lot in my DMs recently. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's like, it's good. - Oh, come on. Dude, that's, you look like-- - You're right now. - He would fit in that. - You would fit into this movie. - I didn't know, I didn't know that Harry Styles was in this. - Yeah, he was. - Yeah, he was. - Was it really good? - Yeah, he was. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - No way. - Yeah, so you look like one of those. - Every all-American, I could see you in Normandy. As a medic? - Wow. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Let's see what cat would be. - Cat would be a waitress on the Titanic. - What the heck? - A waitress on the Titanic? - Let me see, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Or, you know those British movies about the royalty? What's that? - What's that TV show that's super famous? - The Downtown Abbey. - Yeah, your Downtown Abbey. - Downtown Abbey? - No, Downtown Abbey. - It's Downtown, Downtown Abbey. - No, she's Downtown. (laughing) - You're definitely Downtown Abbey, yeah. - Downtown Abbey, Downtown Abbey. - British are really coming now. - Yeah. - You're the one that fed all of her twists, the porridge. - Oh. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're a porridge giver. - Giver. - Yeah, yeah. - She's like, please set out, ma'am. - Ma'am, could I have another? - Yeah, I don't know. - And then you're like, you give me the porridge. - Yeah. - Yeah, which is a good thing. - That's nice. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'll take that. - Yeah. - You weren't any Murphy up getting porridge. - I'm getting porridge too. - I like porridge too. (laughing) - All back. - There is no historical film that I, you could possibly put me in. You, 100% I can. - What? - Apocalypse. (laughing) Holy shit. If I put your head back. - Yeah, you're right. Tattoo's on your face. - Yeah. - Throwing spears. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - You're definitely apocalyptic. - I'm not native. - Yeah. - Or indigenous, but yes. - I think we can cast you as that and dirty you up. And I think, not that they're dirty. - Oh, see, Prince of Egypt. Prince of Egypt, I think we could do. - I was not. - How is that not you? - Or the road to El Dorado? - Yeah, yeah. - Okay. - In fact, make that photo, make that photo, right? Can you, through chat to beauty? - Please don't. - Make the eyes closer and put a cyst on one of the eyes. (laughing) Yeah, and make her right face a little paralyzed. Let's see what happens. (laughing) - Give me a 50 minutes. - Yeah. - Yeah, but um. - How about you, would we, did we have a movie for you? - I'm afraid what you're gonna say. (laughing) I'm afraid what you're gonna say, but I want the honest truth and I can handle it. - Go for Connor. - I think. - I don't think. I just got here. (laughing) - No, no, Connor, be real. - Well, I actually didn't know that last six movies, I was laughing and nodding, but I haven't seen any, I don't know when Corrado is. - I'll nod. - This is a very good thing with that rock, rock well wide still. And. - It's divert. - They ask, they act confused. And like they can't put, you know what I mean? And that's what you're doing. - No, I'm acting. - I'm telling you right now is, I'm not asking you. Okay. I'm telling you what movie do you think or what genre or what I would be? I see you in a Hawaiian shirt. Oh Okay. Yes Like a Hawaiian shirt. Yeah, you know what maybe you know what? Maybe this could be maybe this could be an issue for the industry that I Can't recall a movie that I think you like would be a great. Maybe they're not telling those stories Oh, so your eyes are very good. What? That's a nice move. That's a very good move. That's a very good Oh, come survive a thing Kung Fu Panda Kung Fu Panda. It's not even real people. I know I know what's the ingredients now lately? It's actually finger-free. Do we think that? Yeah, I don't know No way yeah, it's very good and animated. Have you guys do you like diet coke over a coke light? Yeah, this is my preference no coke like an Asia Like Asia, what you fucking talking about see then you don't know. I don't know. It's not. Yeah. Yeah, yeah I've never had coke. I have to have an I'm not a world traveler like you. Yeah, you are. Yeah, you are I've never had coke light in Asia. I saw you drink it. Oh, yeah You drank in the Philippines. Yeah, yeah, it's just Coca-Cola light. Yeah, I dare I say it's not diet coke. It is It is, but they call it coke light and it's better. Yeah, where's the chat photo, man? It's working. I'll go work Why is it silly? Nothing. It's just the system the eye. I'm gonna ask you a question. I would love that So I'm doing these chat GPT postures. Okay every night you hate them, right? I hate them so much I know tell me why you hate them Because it's like clearly chat, then it's just I don't know corny. I know, but I don't know what else to do I love when you do the Canva one yourself Those ones I'd be honest with me. You don't like the chats ones. No, I think they're fun You just see the new one. I'd like to David Attenborough The planet earth one. Yeah, I think I just I'm over just the chat. I think I know it's chat but the with the Canva one the weird ones where you're putting Kim Jong Un Yeah, and like random people in it. I like that style. I like your style better than chat. Okay, that's all I got to say So you think it bothers people and no probably not probably people bother you guys not me. It doesn't bother Thank you. Yeah, I think they like it. I think you get a lot of likes on it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, so it's just you It's just me. It's just me. So what was that alien that I was that you put me at? You're a fringy. Oh Yeah, a fringy who's who's that okay? So in the Star Trek next generation. Okay. I'm out or Star Trek No, I'm out of touch with Star Trek. I just yeah, I'm just I'm informing. I know. I'm sorry. Yeah, I should have watched it in the Star Trek Obviously, there are what can I ask you some Star Trek that basic trivia. Yeah. Yeah, okay good luck and good luck It may I'll have a before both of you. No, no, no, no, yeah All right, so in that world, what was the first human what alien race was the first human contact with with Earth? There was an alien race. It's a basic one. It's basic. Yeah, okay. I There's not even a point. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it sounds like a word that we might know You might have to give a little it starts with the V does that with the V? Oh You know the actor Zachary Quinto Quinto Leonard Nimoy have heard of him. He played one Nemo. Yeah, not Nemo We're gonna go with no no, it's just with a V. Vinto that's no the Quinto's the actor's name Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it has nothing to do with Quinto and it doesn't yeah, I'll give you another hint. I'll give you another hint We know this is not West side. No, this is yeah, you know Here we go. That's you I'm sorry, Clara and you are so hey you look like you've been a beaten Pretty, yeah, what is it? What is the storyline? Yeah, that looks like your angry ex boyfriend in the corner who's like, yeah, yeah, yeah me You're not angry at me. No, I love you, but let's go back to that See with my new finger notch from my phone. I can't even do that. I know I understand that. That's gonna be a lost Yeah, I'll just tell you what it is. Okay, Vulcan. I knew that. I knew that. No, you Said Vulcan I was like, that's completely it wasn't on the tip of my time. I heard of it. Vulcan. I've heard of oh, yeah Because the spock was a Vulcan and I know Spock. Yeah, I know Spock. Oh, yeah, and he does this he does this, right? So all you had to do. Did you know what? Of course, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course you do Yeah, I know Vulcan because there's a there's a venue in Austin called the Vulcan Room and do they do this? I don't know I like I didn't know I know it's a soundtrack. I know a lot of women with that haircut now Nothing to do with Vulcans. Yeah, the baby bangs the baby. Oh, yeah, I think it's always where the baby bangs. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so those can you name me any other race? In the Star Trek universe. Uh-huh. You can't yeah a fear of fearing fire The one that I just said it you did specify what's other race? Oh, you're trying to say Ferengi Look up Ferengi's please. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you would you never heard of a Franky. I've never heard even when you you must have said it And even went over my head. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's his Instagram That's a Franky. This is what you made me out Yeah, holy that holy shit. Are they nice? No, they're actually like really crude Rude business people and they have they have no like, you know, allegiance to anybody. They're just barters and They believe in commerce, but they're also shady. You don't you can't trust them. Okay. Yeah, that's all I feel about you anyway You've never heard of Klingons. I know Klingon Oh, it's you know a lot Yeah, yeah, you know, thank you. Klingon Ferengi Vulcan. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. There's wasn't a spot. Yeah. Yeah Klingon. If you were to explain to me what Star Trek was about. Oh, man. Could you explain it to me both of you. Well, I imagine it's a trek and The stars I understand there's a lot of There's searching for something. There's there's a lot of there's not a ton of agreement out there Yeah, there's not a ton of but it's not Star Wars rules and there's it's a big part of my life star trek next generation The Star Trek universe. I need it TV shows. Maybe I'll I don't you like it really? But if you were going to I've said this before if you're going to get into it Season five Okay, the second to the last episode it's you need is it is it episodic? Can I just tune where it's right now? Yeah, okay And the episode is called the inner light. Okay, and it's the season five second to the last episode I think it's the best piece of sci-fi television ever made. Okay. Yeah, yeah So what's it called? Star Trek. Starlight. No inner light In spots in this one you both so you know, it's next generation so Spock is Spock is past past. He's not past I don't think by season five. No, he's still Wait, no, he's dead Spock's dead. Did he did the the actually played Spock get so many opportunities from being in Star Trek that he'd like got too big And they killed them off. No, what happened was in the new JG Abrams Star Trek episodes the in the Second movie What happens is the real Spock Leonard Leigh Neymoy gets caught in some sort of time wormhole and goes back in time and meets Zachary Quinto. Yeah, and so they and now he stuck in that timeline So there's an episode there's a one of the movies. I know which one the there's three of them where Zachary Quinto gets told that Leonard Neymoy died It's super sad. Oh, and then he has a contemplate. Yeah, what that sucks Hey, when people die It's a contemplate you know that whole idea. Yeah, they him himself more this mortality. Yeah It's like if I went back in time Like when I'm 90 and then I meet I which is would be we would it would it be weird to meet your 30 your Future self. Oh, I would love to I would love to spend a day with my 30-year-old self at 90 Yeah, yeah, and she goes it gets real bad What if that what if she gives you just bad news? I'm gonna be your your future self. Okay, all right Hey, man. Well, what happened to me? Hey, hey, you're older self. You're dick so I think it really longs. You're gonna buy that thing It's twisted not bud. What what what no, I'm gonna tell you. All right things get really good. They do. Oh, yeah I forgot what time here. Well, how do you know? I'm I'm 29. Oh, shit. Yeah, I thought was coming for the 37 Connor It gets really bad. Okay Yeah, so next until you're 30 so next 10 years. Yeah, yeah - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It gets bad. - Is it a money thing? Is it a relationship thing? - You're gonna lose limbs. - Oh, jeez. - Yeah. - But you'll keep your butt hole. - But my butt stays in the same place. That stays the same. - I'm cool with it. - And guess what? In the future, you get it re-corrected. - I get a new. - You get a new butt hole. - I get a new butt hole. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - At least my butt. - Yeah, and it's rainbow colored. - Okay. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're really into the moon. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The whole reason why you get a new one is because anyway, what are you looking at? - I'm trying to think if would you want, like today, on the table, like would you, they're like, Bobby, 87 year old Bobby wants to speak to you. You have five minutes to think about it. Would you take the call or not? - Yeah, because what I would do is I would go, I would want to know, because I have so much anxiety and I have so much, like, answered questions about the future and this and that. And I ruminate a lot. I think it's getting better, but I would probably take a five minute meeting with them. - What if, what if? - Okay, tell me. - 87, okay, you pick up the phone. - Yeah, what's up? - Hurry, five minutes. - Okay. - Okay, what? - You need to leave comedy today. - Oh, that's crazy, yeah. - Why? - You're okay. - You're in the world. - Disconnected. - Yeah. - No. - That's it, go. - What if you-- - No, I want more information, why? - Five minutes, you will lead a life very lonely, depressed and unfulfilled, only chasing something very surface versus, and you will die a lot. - To real. - And I will die a lot. - To real? - Yeah. - It's gonna do it. Every comic is like, oh, I don't know, like today, today, like right now. - This is the turning point. It's either you leave now. - Yeah. - Or-- - You're stuck. - Yeah, you're stuck. - All right, well then, and what do you think is gonna happen because you've only lived. You've only lived the life that I was about to take. So how do you know it's better? - I have no one. - Yeah, but-- - I haven't had any of my-- - Even if I-- - Even if I quit, I could still have no one. - Oh, good. - Maybe, but you don't know that one. - Yeah, but yeah, so it's still an unknown. - Well, no, that's not true. Because there have been opportunities down the road where I could have led a life, you know, with family. - So you want me to go get a regular job? - Yes. - Okay, I'll work at, we're a bobo shop. - Best buy. - Okay, one, two, three. - Bobo shop, bobo shop, right? - Yeah, bobo shop. - That's it, hang on. - Click. - And I would probably go, I don't know. - Wish I hadn't taken the phone call, right? - Yeah, I don't think that's what he's gonna say. - No, I'm just saying that's what he would think is, now that you know this. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Like, don't you wish you wouldn't know that? - I think you'd have too many follow up questions. - Yeah, exactly, you wouldn't have enough time. - That was literally 40 seconds. I think in four minutes, I would've gotten more information. - Not a chance. 'Cause you're gonna be like, "What do you mean?" - Do you have a girlfriend? - No. - Okay. - Tonner, would you want to beat your older 87 yourself? - Oh, why? - Would you take that from me? - Why don't you have a girlfriend? - 'Cause I'm leading this lonely, depressing life friend. (laughing) - I said it, I said it. - That was in my career right now. - And the past 10 years. - But I let you know, that feeling that you have now. - Yeah. - That's what she's getting at. - I'm okay, by the way, I feel like-- - I'm okay. - But that feeling never goes away. - Yeah, yeah, I mean, I've been doing it for 30 years. It never goes away. There is a feeling of, I haven't made it yet. What do I need to do to make it? - More and more and more. - Yeah, the chase is a chase. - Yeah, the chase is a chase is a chase. I haven't gotten it yet, you know what I mean? And it's like, that never goes away. - I guess it's that, like, would you rather love and lose than never love at all? Like, that could be applied anywhere, you know? Would you rather, no? I guess that doesn't help. Would you rather know what this person's gonna say? - Yeah. - And then live with that or never get that and just be like, I don't-- - I don't think I'd want to talk to myself. - I would not. - I would not. - What I would do is, what do I invest in? And he's like, clap-a-nia. (laughing) And I go, what is that? It's a startup now, right? But invest, put all your money in clavaccia. - Clavaccia? It likes clavaccia? (laughing) - It's a new country. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Invest in clavaccia. - Where do I go to get invest? He's like, call this person. He owns clavaccia and they have nothing right now. But offer him some number and he will take it. And then you're gonna be a billionaire. - I don't wanna know. - I'm the same. - Investment? - Oh, investment, I definitely would take. It's, yeah, I would insider trade this afternoon if you guys know anything. - Loved it. - From your future self, that'd be insane. - Yeah, that's a loophole, I have to say. - But it definitely would be, that's gonna be one of those. It's like, the AI is calling my grandma right now all the time. He's like, it's genuinely like, hi, I'm Jennifer Aniston and I need some help getting back on my feet. - Yeah, those are crazy, dude. - Well, wait. - That's an actually happening. - It's like, yeah, you know, it's like on Facebook right now, there's videos and it's like, you can tell it's. - Was it Matt, right? - It's an overlay. - Oh yeah, Matt Rive has a woman that thinks that she's in a relationship with Matt Rive. - Yeah, I just saw that. - You see that? - Yeah, it's concerning, but she seems super happy. (laughing) - I know, I understand, but can I look at the woman right now if she's listening, okay? I'm friends with Matt, okay? I know who he's saying. He's not seeing you, okay? - That's a 100% factual thing because I don't want you ruminating and obsessing over something that's not happening. You're also giving some random person money. - Oh. - Yeah, I think that's fucking bullshit. - But I would want to help Jennifer Aniston back on her feet. - Well, she's fine. - I need $1,000. - The delivery is like, hi, I'm Jennifer Aniston's from Friend. (laughing) It's like, okay, I believe you. - Wait, it's an AI video? - Yeah, and it's like, I'm giving away 1,000 Apple's Mac book. - Apple's Mac. - And it's like, everything's like a little bit eerie. Like, I can tell, but easy no problem. If I was my grandma and I had had a glass of frenzy at box wine, I would be like, this is my, this is my girl. - Oh, yeah. - This is my friend. - Yeah. - And I bet that woman that you just spoke to just now was like, that is so Matt to like tell his friends to joke with me over their pot. You know, like, she's gonna convince herself. - Yeah, she is. - They always mess around like that, my boys. - Oh, so you think that what my message was just now is she's still justifying it? - Yeah. - It's so funny, this human psychology. People are just trapped into this way of thinking and their ego will not allow them to the truth. - It's true, I say this all the time. You could literally line up the most concrete receipts, have all the evidence laid out, and you could not convince someone. - Anyway, okay, you have fun. - I had so much fun, I had so much fun. - Yeah, so you have a podcast, what is it called? - Broken Connor make a podcast. - This is our YouTube here. - Yeah. - We look really, why don't you guys date? - Our thumbnails. - It's cute. (laughing) - We are so close. - That's good. - We're not so close to dating, we're so close, it would never end. - My friends, okay. - Yeah. - Very tractable. - HR violation. - Yeah. - HR, yeah that is. - And then how long you've been doing this? - We just figured out it's been four, we're going on five years, so it's been-- - Wow, that's a really good run. - That's a really good run. - We're so close on it. - It's a real cut. - I've never seen her thumbnail, it's just close. - Yeah, yeah. - It's awesome. - That's great, broken makeup podcast. - How long are they, like an hour? - Oh yeah, they're an hour. - I like that we, I just looked at my Instagram, so I can go and I'm like, wow, we, this flew by, I can't believe we're done. - 'Cause you're with a pro. - It's so fun, I love this. (laughing) - Should we keep going? - No, we're not gonna keep back, I gotta go. I have a phone call. - And then, I think this comes out, I'm shooting that. I'm shooting that. I'm shooting that. I'm shooting that. I'm shooting that.