Connor Nobrows and Brooke Noseforward Get High

Coca-Cola. For the big. For the small. The short and the tall. Peacemakers. Risk-takers. For the optimists. Pessimists. For long-distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you. The thing about cans is that I haven't had one in a long time. Right. So I think it's gonna it's that's why it's hit me hard and fast. But if I remember they kind of fade fast as well. They come in really hot and yeah. Right. They burn bright. So we'll be okay. Why can't something burn bright in for a long time? We have. It will explode on itself. Well that's like the sun. But like I just. Sun will explode. I know it's disappointing. Disappoint. I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed. It is like. You don't need to be so bright. I'm sweating. Maybe if you weren't burning so bright you could. We could drag this thing out a little bit. Oh how disappointing that the sun will be out one day. Woo. Change the subject. Hurry. Flagging that Connor and I have chugged cans. The THC infused drink before this episode. And I worry for its quality. I don't. Really? I know I can't inside and out. Trust. I thought I did. Man. I thought I knew. Because these are the little ones. Yeah. They're babies. And usually the little ones like I need two. But what happened today was I only needed a few sips for it to hit my empty stomach. Well I can't wait for everyone to hear the ads. That was. No. That wasn't okay. We recorded the ads. At the. Before we recorded this. So. This is post ads. I think you'll know. Well. I think you will hear little. Inklings. I'm going to move on from talking about it. Dude. What? Why are you talking like a hippie? I have something a little gross to say. All right man. What? We never talk about gross stuff. No this is gross. But. Okay. My ears have been like really flaky this winter. Like more than any other season. Was it a white Christmas? Just like. Why my ears? As opposed to any other. Like my ears are as worse than my scalp. What's like the inside of your ear? Yeah. You don't have just like ear. Crap. I floss a lot. All right. Q-tip. Q-tip a lot. It's not like. It's just like the skin of my ears. Like the outside. Not in the hole. The outside? Not. No. No. No. No. The outside of the inside. What is this? Like this thing. What is it? I guess it's. Should we look up parts of the ear? No. Yeah. Let's look up parts of the ear. I'll tell you what's flaking. Hang on. I did trivia. Can you. You want to hear something crazy? Do you know the part of your body? Your appendage that has the tiniest bones? Your nose? Your ear. We're talking about ears right now. Oh yeah. It has three tiny bones. My concha is so flaky. My anthlex. Oh my gosh. For me, it's my Darwin's turbicle. Or it could be my intertragal notch. Are you talking about the intertragal notch? So where are you guys going for spring break? Probably the Simba concha. And then we're going to make our way over to the Darwin's turbicle for dinner. And we're going to take the helix. Why don't they like. This is what the piercing should be called. Like I have the conch. Oh, that's funny. It is called the conch piercing. Is it? I used to have a conch piercing. It's on the concha. And that's the helix. There's a helix piercing. Is it really? But I, there should, I actually genuinely, Jen, I'm going to have my Darwin's turbicle pierced. And it should be called the Darwin's turbicle piercing. I don't like that. It sounds like you're, it sounds like a, it sounds like a late stage. There is a triangular, triangular fossa. I don't know why they had to go so hard with scientific names, like outside, inside, soft. But it just seems like we shortened them. Like, why couldn't we just say lobeal instead of lobe? Like, it's not that hard, that much harder to say lobeal. It's like, that's kind of like almost an, you're almost putting that like an accent on it. Lobeal. Like filiac, like home, like lobeal. Yeah. It's like an extra thing. Lobe, we can all agree on lobe. Yeah. We'll always have lobe. Oh, you're talking about like the general population, not just me. Okay. Wait. You have to hear Tristan and Channing's song. You want to try? Sorry. Yeah, let's do that. Wait, that one's called, wait, can we go back to that? You're so sorry. The Metis? Where are you seeing the Metis? The external auditory Metis? Yeah. Metis? Yeah. Okay. They should call Deli's Metis. Okay. Sorry. Just to, can you explain this? I don't, so I know that Tristan and Channing had written a song. They wrote a song alongside Noel. No. But that he helped with it? Not at all. Hmm. Made up that. I think it's just them. They just made a song with, with some producers. They wrote a song and this is it. It's called Always Been You? It's a Valentine's Day song. Oh my gosh. This is perfect. Hope everyone had a good Valentine's Day. We're pre-recording this. So my Valentine's Day is tomorrow. Mine too. Wow. Um, so they recorded this in a studio? In a studio. Did you say that? Mm-hmm. It is genuinely, I heard it for the first time this morning, a, an incredible song. It sounds like a One Direction song. Wow. Let's hear it. I want to do this with you. I don't know. Yeah. We're, I want to, I don't mean to copy them, but I do want to do this exact thing. I mean, what did they say? Good artists copy, great artists steal. Yeah. We should just re-release this. I don't think we need to steal it, but I think we just need to make our own. We're good artists. I want to be in the studio. Okay. Listen to this. Oh, Lordy, here we go again. Doesn't this sound like One Direction? Yeah, like OG. Yeah. We met for wine, where our friends don't go, on Sunset and Vine. Nobody else has to know. Cool. Closing time, but we don't want to leave. Said two checks or one. Agree to disagree. I say, baby, it's me. What the fuck? Like, it's good? Yeah, it's like funny. Like that it's dizzy. We never know how to begin. When we're just friends. Until it's the end. A hundred percent. I can't pretend. That it hasn't always been you. I can't pretend. Oh, good little hug. This is my favorite part coming up. Nothing DMS. All the bullshit. I shouldn't have said. A hundred percent. It is good. Really good. I can't pretend. I think this is my favorite part. The second stanza I really like. The second stanza? Yeah. And it's my first time living too. Almost there. How great was that? My first time living too? Yeah. Is it all their, like, sayings? Yeah, they're definitely interspersed. Said I wouldn't do it. I would drink this much at the AMC. Been pre-screwing since lunch. Do what now for me? Our hands start to touch. My fat ass went through the seat. That's my favorite part. Oh, that's funny. Talk about the heat. How do you get the music for it? Who did that? So we had a producer write the music part of it. And then we went into the studio and wrote it. Is that not amazing? Yeah, that is amazing. What would you want? To me, that's giving country meets pop. She's from Texas, I can tell by the way. Exactly, giving that and One Direction. I think we should do, - What is our sound? - Rap. - How about your versus rap? - Oh my gosh. We could do like, - We could literally do Luda. When I was 13, that's you and I'll be Justin. - Okay, cool. I like that. - Okay. Oh, I love that shit. - Oh, I like it too, a lot. - So yeah, you'll do the rap first. - So yeah, I will. - What will, okay. Perfect. And I'll do like a show tune and you come in with the rap. - It could be really like, it could be really a mashup. - Yeah. - Yeah, I like that. - I do, I really like this. Okay. - I wanted to flag really quickly. - Yeah. - Brooke is not doing the, we're putting a hold on the morning just temporarily hold on milking farm on milking farm but i didn't want to did you see what this is at the monster bait romance is that a play on words i think it's play on words for masturbate and we didn't catch that this was not like a oh i knew she's she's tugging his she's tugging his chain oh baby i knew all along oh wow it took me a second but you saw that her she has a new book coming out i sent you yesterday same author it is oh yeah let's see what it's called the young woman oh moon blooded breeding clinic so the young it's a monster bait romance the young woman is is spinning a wheel with a couple words on it and it's just and it's werewolf which i am more comfortable with personally because it's more they're more a lot more human but someone said i need to face my prejudice i would just say if you look at this like this this minotaur has my you know my dream body my minotaur prejudice my dream body but it just goes to show you that like no i'm not gonna say what i was gonna say yeah it's like weird say it no i'm like i was gonna say that the the minotaur was a butter face but like we don't know what's attractive to their standards don't you do you ever think that this i wanted to talk to you about this last night what um first of all i was gonna say do you ever think like our animals like that he's hot like in the animal world like he's hot i think it's like like like he's hotter than him and there we don't know what their beauty standards are we talked about this we're reverse engineering a conversation that we had what was the conversation evolution and who who benefits from being like no one benefits from there was no there's no evolution airy yes there is reason for someone to be ugly yeah there is i just figured it out what is it there needs to be tears like you can't all be going for the same people oh it's a population thing like if we were all going for the same people we would be going for the same people like if we were all going for the same people we would be going for the same people we would be going for the same people we would be going for the same people we would be going for the same people like if we were all going wait hold on for me i had it so if everyone saw it so clearly and it slipped through my crack if everyone was a 10 is that did you say it slipped through your rack it slipped through my cracks i'm sorry listen i had it on the tip of my tongue but it slipped through my rack if everyone was a 10 it'd be like a free-for-all it's confusing it's like that episode of the fairly hot parents where everyone's a gray blob it's like who do we go for it's like you don't then it's all based on personality yeah then you don't want the same people because you want the people with the same personality yeah then you don't want the same people because you the good personality we have to be broken up into groups no i feel like i'm doing pro-segregation right now and it's not what i mean at all i want to stop here's what i want to do i want to stop talking right now okay and i want to come back to i don't think i ever had a grasp on what i was trying to say i appreciate you letting me try and i don't think i don't think that i don't believe in segregation at all you made that very i want to be very clear about one thing none of us are sure i want to go back to a few minutes ago when we didn't have this conversation before that we were talking about with would you rather fuck a dog or a cow here's what i remember i was gonna say you want to go back to that do you ever like with max yes think about what he would look like in human form and have we had this conversation i don't think about that with my dog but i look at other dogs i go i know exactly who you would be i know exactly who rob would be if he were a human if he were to transform into a human i know exactly did we did we talk about this i don't know is he i don't think we did i think we talked about jack black like sorting people into cat and dog like jack black boy exactly yeah it was a similar conversation well i just believe that all dogs are boys and all cats are girls regardless of their gender i think all cats are boys now because mine are boys yeah but i used to believe you yeah okay do you want to hear who rob is yeah i don't know if you want to hear who rob is i don't know the actor's name can you look up the cast of knives out to glass onion is he that is a good one oh it's freaking incredible have you seen the third one yeah i didn't like it um dave dave bautista bautista that's right that's right you think your cat looks like dave bautista if he were to transform into a human yeah your cat is not dave bautista yes he is and jonathan is choice of on chicken fantasy onto your cat i don't have a fantasy about dave how who did you oh you saw dave in in glass onion yeah you think but i didn't have rob then so it wasn't crossing my mind but i was thinking about rob last night i'm in the same boat trying to post an instagram story it's like it's been since we started recording it's been 14 minutes i haven't posted it i'm able to try and imagine what it looked like for me to try and post my tour announcement i don't know after my can a few minutes ago 14 minutes ago i did that yeah that's that is that not who rob would be if the fairy if a fairy godmother turned him into a human no he looks like that guy you went to high school with who how the hell would i know he does not look like anyone i went to high school yeah he looks like um not corn sweat he doesn't look like david corn sweat corn sweat remember when they used to name people's last names over like what you did a lot imagine being named corn sweat did they used to name people's last yeah like blacksmith and then someone's name was like megan blacksmith i didn't know that yeah right that's where it all came from then what would how did it devolve dyslexia let's move your let's move your last name around yeah yeah last names originated during the middle ages in europe and much earlier in china as populations grew and to distinguish individuals with the first name same first name people adopted names based on their occupation location parentage or physical characteristics whatever that means well imagine physical characteristics yeah i wouldn't like that connor no brows oh i like that that sounds good that kind of rolls off the tongue what would yours be depends what stage in my life i guess it's hard because you have to name someone when they're a baby you would just take your parents yeah but there's genetics there's genetics oh and you can it would be no it would be nose forward which but then that's like i got brooke nose forward yeah yeah it works yeah connor connor no brows and brooks nose forward make a podcast but then it's like you get a nose job and or you lose you have to change your name yeah or you can hyphenate do you change your name fka nose forward formerly known as nose forward brooke rhinoplasty this might be too dumb yeah well we're high i don't know what you want i don't know what you want i don't either um we're not high who would max be as a human like kj appa i could kind of see high energy kind of a freak i don't see that the freak in the sheets i don't see that for max did you just call your dog a freak in the sheets and is that something you want to want it to do why do you think your cat's dave bautista that's something that i want to look into that's just what i see i see why are you you're i feel like you're projecting something sexual onto that oh no it's just what i see i see why are you you're i feel like you're it feels that way no okay i just dave bautista to me reminds me of like dave bautista that's lost all meaning completely it's just like a sat a string of completely nonsense and i bet like his family used to be baristas and then something someone fell and hit their head or the bautista and then that stuck did you say barista event yeah yeah at one point i said barista but now it's it's like no because i was gonna say they were probably baristas and then i was like wait i think he just said that parallel thinking yeah um coca-cola for the big for the small the short and the tall peacemakers risk takers for the optimists pessimists for long distance love for introverts and extroverts the thinkers and the doers for old friends and new coca-cola for everyone pick up some coca-cola at a store near you but uh uh i don't know what was i gonna say about dave that's not kj do me a favor and don't scroll up on this image you know who this is who this is he's like sam rockwell wow i used to get way more likes than i do now um now i changed my mind what changed my mind there needs to be there's so much ai there needs to be a who would my dog be famous person like generator yeah dave bautista oh that's gonna be my new thing it would be someone with like a heavy adam lambert heavy eyeliner no i think it's more of like um adam uh maroon five that is not max i'm sorry that's not max max does not look like adam lambert just like that's that he's more of like a black cat that could be adam lambert i could see that yeah i could see that yeah because he's wearing a tux i think that that's helping are we talking at a pace that works for a podcast i do feel like it's minus 2x okay do you i mean this is not max either you know who showed up on my for you page last night who remember sanjaya no You're lying Sanjaya From American Idol I didn't watch American Idol You didn't know Sanjaya? Is it Sanjaya or Sanjaya? Or am I thinking of Zendaya? No, Sanjaya Does anyone remember who I'm talking about? There's no way This couldn't have been a niche experience Okay, so no one knows There was just Something about Sanjaya that Sanjaya You gotta give up I'm losing It's slipping through my grasp Sanjaya It's slipping right through my rack He was just a phenomenon Like he wasn't good But he was a personality And he made it very far Because they thought he had what it took To beat the American Idol Despite not being able to sing That's foresight I think Yeah Too long Now I'm wondering if your love's still strong Oh wait, he's great He's good Here I am He's incredible Holy shit I'm yours Maybe he couldn't sing once he got to the big leagues Oh my gosh Something was something Like he wasn't like He might I don't know I don't really remember why we loved Sanjaya Why were you telling me that you saw him last night? I don't know, man It's just flagging I thought you would've Known him Wow, the only thing I have in my note page for today Is I want to get lucky I want to get lucky What do you want to happen? Not sexually I just would like something good to happen to me And kind of I don't want to work for it I just kind of want it to fall on my lap A lot of good things have happened to you Yeah, no, I want more You should start a gratitude journal I have one Do you use it? Video You have a gratitude video? Yeah, the horizontal style Of like things you say you're thankful for? Yeah, and I was having a blast last night I went on a walk on the boardwalk And I was filming just outwardly Gratitude vibes Everyone down there is kind of talking to themselves So like it wasn't weird or uncomfortable for me To be vlogging style My gratitude Did you ever do one second a day? No Why'd you say it like No I don't I don't know I did You did And you film one second of every day For the year And then it makes a movie at the end One second isn't like enough for me to Like it's just You would be shocked at how long a second is Really? In film Tell me more It just It felt long And it was a long Izzy, can you Wait It's 365 seconds That's That's Over two minutes That's like an episode of Tell her It's like a very long TikTok Wait, what? It's six It's six Okay, it's six minutes As I was saying That's so long Wait, you've got a Oh, absolutely I think I get that Okay, I think I get it I remember the day I learned long division Please don't say division here I remember the day Whoa, Brooke Could you Could you And not Like outside of this specific window of time And Where we are Mentally Could you draw this thing Put a number here And put a number here And say Oh Let me get to the bottom of this Zero percent chance Oh my gosh Zero percent Ask me to divide something No Zero percent Can we do Can someone ask me to divide something? And then put the bigger number In front of the smaller one Like that makes any sense? Go to hell 36 divided Do you want me to do something That goes in evenly or not? Yeah Like start me off Kind of easy 36 divided by 6 6 Amazing Whoa That was not even me 50 divided by 5 10 52 divided by 2 Oh I'm just saying the day 52 divided by 2 Yeah 26 Yeah, you can do this You're really good I don't I don't Well, I failed You know I failed calculus Calculus That's I don't I don't Oh my God That made me fucking sick Like I don't even want to do The rest of the podcast Because I heard the word calculus When they started putting The numbers into the math Into the That Sign Yeah, they never even gave us A reason as to why We were doing that No What is that? We weren't even solving I understand when you're solving For X We got to figure out X A, B, C, D What are those? Why did you put those in there? What was it? What was it for? I really think that At some point it was just like Let's see how far we can push These dummies I'm going to add a bunch of letters How many did they used to have in there? Like tell E Sometimes there was an F I know I've never seen a G Too close I don't remember that I'll be honest To think that I made it Through those classes Oh, I think I think this is the episode Where people start Exiting A mass exodus It's not our fault This is where I'm going to be We're on We genuinely are on No one else We could possibly blame it on I can't I just was trying to tell you I remember the day I learned long division Oh, yeah And I just remember her Miss Raina Writing that sign That Design What is that called? Symbol On the board And me just thinking No No Yeah It's like And I just remember Like this is not This is the end This is This is where I tap out No, I mean And then it created A mental block, right? The second I saw that sign It created a mental block In my head so severe That I To this day I've never learned long division You had to have learned I don't think I ever Learned long division I'm not kidding I think it's a wash It's crazy that They would like Hold people back Whatever happened To holding people back? I don't think we're doing it Enough current day Did they do away with that? Definitely stopped in high school In middle school Oh, people should be Held back pretty much indefinitely People were really only held back Like first grade latest I remember We should be held back In adult life Hold up Yes Yeah What does that look like to you? I'm thinking To me it's like Maybe Like if I'm mentally 24 Then I should still be On my parents' health insurance Even though my body is 29 What is the test for that? Long division Et cetera If I can solve This long division problem Then I get to be back On my parents' insurance Thank you I would love to know Our mental age Letter to the Your congressman I mean my mental age I promise you I'm not X years old I'm more 24 Yeah, why are we going Based off of our physical age? When mental is just Oh my gosh Who Oh my gosh Who cares about How long my My metis has been around What about my brain? Like where I'm at mentally Yeah Oh yeah, you're right So holding back Maybe they put us Oh my gosh We're talking about Segregation again No This You know Remember the Spongebob Lost episode? No There was a lost episode And he spent an episode With Patchy the pirate Trying to find the lost episode When Patchy was seen You check You lost me Patchy pissed me off Listen Patchy pissed me off Patchy must have been A nepo baby Or like Was like fucking A studio exec Patchy Where did you come from? Where did you go? Where did you come from? Cotton Eye Joe It's like It was similar to when Patchy was disgusting When sitcoms do like Flashback episodes Patchy's apartment is Now you're being ableist Patchy is completely A peg leg And completely A hook for a hand I wasn't talking about All his missing appendages You said Patchy the pirate Is disgusting I forgot he was an amputee It has nothing to do with that Well as I was saying This episode needs to be Like the lost episode Of Spongebob Like It just needs to be lost Oh this should have been The lost episode Yes Wait why did Patchy live in Like He lived on top of the seat Well yeah he's Yeah Man That's his bedroom Oh Patchy's might have been Like on the Epstein list Look at his bedroom He's Patchy The pirate Was on the Epstein He was sailing the ship Yeah Yeah why do you have A bunch of children's blankets I just thought about Walking in on You know those like Older guys Who like came to your school For like So like nature jack Talk about nature jack He like came to the school With like lizards and stuff Oh And like different pieces of nature And he would like show the kids Like hi I'm nature jack And like showed them Anyway I walked in on nature jack In the bathroom He was just like going to the bathroom But like he didn't lock the door I was a teacher Oh Yeah it was in the staff bathroom I walked in on nature jack I was just thinking about that What'd you say Ha Jack I called him nature jack When nature calls jack What is it Yeah Sorry I don't know why - I don't know. - No, that's funny. I always thought it was funny 'cause during, we had pep rallies. and during these pep rallies they'd be like jump rope extreme jump rope, double dutch double dutch, nature jack over here I got a boa constrictor I got a lizard now do you want to do drugs kids I'm like yeah I wish I would have taken Molly before this this is absurd, I'm watching the people on bikes doing wheelies yeah I want to do drugs they're all on drugs you think nature jack was playing with his lizards all sober probably not, he's probably high he's probably where we are now did you sign that poster that I would never do drugs or drink of course Connor truly when they were doing their presentations and talking about marijuana I was like that is hell incarnate and there is no difference to me between marijuana and methamphetamines the gateway drug like yeah if I could see myself now I'd be sick I would think that person needs like to be locked up and to get help that person should be held back yeah a hundred percent it's a good song my fat ass sweaty due to the AMC that should be tattooed on my body for my Kelly Clarkson do you think you'll get another tattoo ever I think I'm going to get all of mine removed I'm annoyed I didn't just do them all at the same time I wish I had like an old picture of like someone in my family that I could get tattooed on me in like a like a classy way not like huge on my back that's so interesting yeah like fine line yeah but like if it was like from a distance yeah like their silhouette like a like I would not get this but like my dad is like a toddler with a balloon like that'd be cute would you get your dad as a toddler tattooed on you like bad example no I guess because if you're like is that your son I'm like no it's my dad like and he's just totally alive that's so interesting that was just a bad example let me take my horse sized vitamins really quick what are those pills I've tried to take them all at once and Izzy saw me I threw up into my hand my brother can take like 15 pills at once no I used to be able to I put them in my mouth broke I go look and I go right in and Izzy was looking making eye contact with me when I when I you threw up when I put and I was like okay so I have to take them one by one they're so dry I just got really nervous that someone's trying to call me what are they no okay not at all oh shit but I just got like a feeling that like something's like amiss like someone's like trying to reach me now I'm scared everything's okay everything is awesome oh don't worry I don't know the doctor was calling to tell me that all of my moles that I got removed are benign oh that's so nice I was going to sleep every night like moles getting bigger like tomorrow's your last day I really truly was convinced you know you don't have to be totally naked to get the mole removed if it's on your back yeah you took your well were you not wearing panties in the first place did I not show you this I was gonna do like a funny you should also wear panties to the doctor I was wearing panties to the doctor I was wearing panties to the doctor underwear okay i elected to remove them in case she needed to check my butt or something all right hang on what was i showing you i need something from the dog yeah i need to show you this because i thought it was funny um so i was at the doctor and i was going to make like a funny video for my friends and then i'm butt to the camera cheeks out and she comes in and i had to like flip around i had my i put my hands up like she was gonna okay hang on if i could figure out the camera like app i would have already shown you by the way but it's nice to revisit all of my memories on my way to find one specific video from less than two weeks ago i took my laptop to the genius bar because i broke it yeah and they were acting like really serious like it was like a hospital and they were like uh it does seem like your laptop is in critical condition and we need to keep it overnight two nights for the to get the diagnosis and then we'll call you once we have the prognosis and i was like this this feels like a doctor's show for my laptop should i just what what was the issue oh i spilled a bottle of a water bottle on it in my bag but it actually was fine like it was working fine it just didn't charge so when it died it died and so i just needed to get that thing replaced which and it wasn't that expensive it was amazing i was really happy with the app that's amazing yeah i was really impressed i need the whiteboard if you don't mind what are you doing i'm trying to find the video of me at the doctor but go figure it absolutely isn't in my role oh found it it's because of my butt okay you could just you know you could just knock on the door oh i did see that but i didn't hear the knock i can't show well i guess i can that's all send it in i'll submit you want are you gonna show everyone your butt no i'm gonna blur would you do full nudity in a movie yes full frontal are you kidding me yes you would love to i'll do i'll do full frontal podcast cool yeah i don't think i have i would have a problem with it i don't think i would have a problem with it i don't think i would have a problem with it no well i would just in terms of like i don't want my body on t well i guess i would if i don't want my body on tv what i actually i would be fine with having like my privates out real i'd be fine no you would have to be real i'm saying to you put like your i'm saying it would be in a movie they put jennifer lawrence's cooter in a movie did they yeah and no hard feelings remember she was like had that fight scene on the beach there's no way that's true yes that was her genuine body her cooter and boobs no they yes no i swear to god she got a fake cooter implant no she did not i promise that is her real one she got a cooter piece no that's her full you're talking about j-law's cooter piece yes that's her real trust me i know that's not what it looks like try and trust me on this that is her jennifer jump into my cooter for a second yes jennifer lawrence was actually naked for the infamous bishi coca-cola for the big for the small the short and the tall peacemakers risk takers for the optimists pessimists for long distance love for introverts and extroverts the thinkers and the doers for old friends and new coca-cola for everyone pick up some coca-cola at a store near you told you you did not use the body i what i'm trying to say is i in a scene like that i'm fine having my cooter and boobs out but i don't want my stomach out i would do like a crop just around my stomach with the private shooting out you could do and i have a story after this you could do like okay say you're on top rolled down and then rolled up which doesn't happen with skims exactly even if you wash them 100 times since birth even if you were born in a river on a little tent i would do like a fake pregnant stomach naked sure me too now i was in mexico long long ago i don't remember anything about this trip but my one wish as a young man i now know better obviously but i wanted to swim with the dolphins so we go and we swim with them and you're doing that thing where you they push on your feet and you go up and you take it and there's a picture they take dolphins are fucking huge and scary by the way they're the size of jetas and i they swim underneath you then they come they're so smart they pick they get pick your feet up and they go this poor woman girl woman probably there's no way i don't know i don't remember there's like a memory i don't know she gets pushed up by the dolphins bathing suit here bathing suit here so her picture is taken and it puts it up on the screen for the whole lobby boobs out like it's like full frontal and then get this she she like goes to jump off because she's like my my rack is showing yeah and she flies off and the water catches her being on the way down cooter out oh and bathing suit around her she fell forward all right it's around her ankle launched into the rocks she's pussy out on the rocks that sucks just that genuinely sucks and i like that for a scene in a book or movie oh we should be writing or talking more about what the waves can do to one suit when you maybe you do a book about a woman that falls in love with a wave when you succumb to the wave i think i'm gonna i do you think i'm gonna stick to more traditional romance so you're gonna kind of say like human human not not as much monster bait type not as much monster bait or sea bait but you can write it i want you to feel like puzzles wait people from the main don't even know oh my god is that not insane oh my gosh if you if you care at all we talked about in the bonus the bonus from a few weeks ago i think is it called pizuzu's girl or me you and pizuzu you mean pizuzu we did a really big deep dive into the tether of a labubu so his counterpart pizuzu who was used in mesopotamian lore as the god of the wind and plague and plague and he had a monster bait romance wrapped around his leg oh no no he had a huge snake wrapped around yeah he had a boner yeah he had a little bit of a lot going on i would just look at a little bit of this and a little bit of that what was that that no that's wait there's a pizuzu in the exorcist yeah i mean he's the demon of god and war of plague pizuzu is the main antagonist and demon of the exorcist horror novel excuse me and oh my gosh platy derived the character uh from asrian and babylonian mythology where pizuzu was considered the king of demons of the wind and the son of we can't remember anything but we can remember exactly pizuzu's job that's right about pizuzu um that is nuts that pizuzu is the demon and the exorcist so he's a lot more famous than we had anticipated he has an imdb yeah okay it has the body of oh it well it okay it has the body of a man the head of a lion or dog eagle like talent feet two pairs of wings a scorpion's tail and a serpentine penis but did the exorcist demon have all those things his aliases are wait can you show up a small bit you're talking about the aliases the aliases captain howdy the salesman i'm pizuzu the demon of plague and wind also known as like okay so odd colors red but green and yellow when possessing yes appears in the exorcist the exorcist heretic the exorcist three dominion prequel to the talking about heretic the exorcist the beginning exorcist tv's pizuz is famous like whoa tony win wait what's up you got win yeah wow i wonder who i was thinking we put pizuzu on the map when pizuzu's been on every corner wow of the map this whole time can we who plays pizuz eileen pizuzu is a is a non-binary demon well yeah no i was gonna say with a huge piece pizuzu is a non-binary demon well yeah no i was gonna say with a huge piece pizuzu is a non-binary demon well yeah no i was gonna say with a huge piece pizuzu is a non-binary demon well yeah no i was gonna say with a huge piece pizuzu is a non-binary demon yeah no i was gonna say with a huge piece pizuzu is a non-binary demon but that doesn't matter but that doesn't matter but that doesn't matter can identify it's a serpent too i really can identify it's a serpent too i really can identify it's a serpent too i really believe it's its own believe it's its own believe it's its own thing oh pizuz is definitely i'm seeing thing oh pizuz is definitely i'm seeing thing oh pizuz is definitely i'm seeing eileen in the pizus eileen in the pizus eileen in the pizus a hundred percent wow a hundred percent wow a hundred percent wow oh sorry that's a person oh sorry that's a person oh sorry that's a person is she gone yeah it's just pizuzu now is she gone yeah it's just pizuzu now is she gone yeah it's just pizuzu now jesus eileen jesus eileen jesus eileen oh oh oh i can't stop watching this is 40. i i can't stop watching this is 40. i bought it 14.99 i purchased what's your bought it 14.99 i purchased what's your bought it 14.99 i purchased what's your favorite scene favorite scene favorite scene um well my favorite scene is with melissa um well my favorite scene is with melissa um well my favorite scene is with melissa mccarthy mccarthy mccarthy when they're in the principal's office when they're in the principal's office when they're in the principal's office for that it's i've i could i could quote for that it's i've i could i could quote it let's watch in the back jump up and jackknife you two in the in the in the neck slow blinking eyes you won't you know what i'm gonna start drinking soon i'm gonna slit their neck like two fish and drink their blood slow but you won't blink i'll cut your eyelids off you won't slow blink at me now will you so good wow and she goes oh really kim really oh fuck you kim suck a big fucking dick kim i'm glad your husband died he probably killed himself i would have killed myself it's just so good job i remember that yeah yeah i love that scene melissa mccarthy where is she she's really like in it i'm talking about in it you're talking about in it i'm talking what's the last thing she did besides nine perfect strangers like the heat or something no that was like why is she not like where are you i just what i'm so sorry oh she did unfriendly jerry seinfeld's pop-tart origin little mermaid yeah she really oh she's come she's in only murders we need another like melissa mccarthy comedy like now that could heal you know it sucks and i'm just gonna say something really really just like you know i call it like i see it like iconic no i just now think that like when you get to a level level of celebrity ta that you start 3d printing movies instead of making them good yeah but she's not doing anything well no and i'm not i don't mean she's not doing anything she is doing something but like she's not doing 3d printing or another movie that you know when people get like really famous and then all the movies they come out with it's like is this a youtube video like glenn powell i didn't say that but that's you're talking about no no glenn no i'm talking about like let's play 36 questions to fall in love no offense happy gilmore too is like needs to be removed from okay oh my gosh okay so happy thanks what is it valentine's day yeah um happy valentine's day i hope everyone was in love over the weekend and cuddled and kissed and it was awesome it's great happy for everyone um okay so we're gonna play 36 questions to fall in love i'm gonna ask the first oh do you want to ask the first one i'll ask you okay or i can ask whatever you given the choice of anyone in the world whom would you want as a dinner guest wait is this for both of us we just talked about this it's one person though i do think it will be freddie mercury right now jennifer lawrence oh i always forget they can be alive yeah i will do jonathan groff would you like to be famous in what way i will i would want to be like an author yeah cool famous author uh it's hard i would want like my books to be famous and i would only want to be famous and i would only want to be famous and i would only want to be like a little bit famous yeah like emily henry is perfect to me i would want to be famous but not in like a fall oh he fell off way just in like when i go places people care but not in like a you're everywhere type of what do you want to be known for don't care statues i don't know okay no like comedy acting oh comedy acting no both of those both of those okay i'm making a telephone call do you ever rehearse what you're gonna say why i usually write it down what if it's like a an appointment or i'm calling the pharmacy for a refill on my medications or something that needs to be rehearsed i will write it down but not for like conversations with my friends yeah i should write things down because i'll call someone to have an hour conversation and be like oh my god i called them to m no i don't practice but i also it's not my best work sometimes i if i have a call with someone and i hang up and i'm like they don't know that i'm cool i didn't nail they don't know that i'm like i'm normal i'm like people like me like for an interview no just like i'm on the phone make an appointment okay i'm like when i get in there to reception desk i'm gonna put on a clinic what would you constitute for a perfect day for you this is a good question and it's an honest question sleep in a little bit cuddle with the cats play my word games um do i have to live in this world like can i go out can i walk to the beach yes but i don't live at the beach cause it's a perfect day yeah then i walk to the beach and read for a little bit and someone brings me a turkey hoagie oh yeah you could say that again that sounds really good then i go home take a very crispy shower i have tons of new freckles on my nose on the bridge of my nose and then i go to sushi fumi come home why doesn't sushi fumi come to you you want to drive to sushi i love going to sushi where do you park it's not it's not bad on la cienega most of the time la cienega there's that open strip on la cienega but if not you can post on a side street okay wait i need to write something down so i don't forget to park and post and then i'm eating sushi fumi crispy rice salmon nigiri moon roll blue crab hand roll shrimp tempura roll cut if i'm very hungry extra salmon if i'm hungry then go home get a little bit high my friends come over we watch a movie my cats are on the couch i fall asleep on the couch i wake up my friends have fallen asleep too and we're all alone but together have you thought about this no mine is dave bautista shows up i get on his shoulders did you write that down no okay that's what you were writing dave bautista shows up in my house i immediately get on his shoulders he he gallops like a like how you would a horse he's not on all fours he's just two yeah i mean he's moving as fast as a car he's built like a house that's it that sounds fun too but genuinely what is your perfect genuinely wake up walk to coffee and everyone's up so like it's like a great we have the coffee sit somewhere but guess what where are you i don't know somewhere not my house unless people are staying with me and we're going to do something that weekend that's fun what sucks about me is as soon as a weekend comes that i'm looking forward to everyone's having fun i'm immediately like tick tock tick tock you're at the beginning of the weekend that's going to end pretty soon oh i hate that that's where my brain goes what enjoy a part of it i can't i i struggle with that too anyways perfect day um we walk we get coffee but there's things to do we have an activity planned for the day we all pack up into a car we've packed at lunch we do a hike and the hike is to something like a waterfall or a lake and then head home and then we go to the beach to lounge beach to pool so you've now gone beach to pool on me on my fat ass we sit there pool there is an attendant at the pool they're gonna ask what do you want i'm gonna go ice cold beer in a plastic cup for me how about turkey club too hang on right in there you can't get there no there's a place i went to one time in hawaii and it had sushi and pizza and they just served sushi and pizza and it was poolside because i'm not like sushi and pizza as good as it is and if it's available to me yeah i'll have it i'm not like a huge chicken strips guy like they're not really yeah like they're good i like them but i'm not like like are you talking about like chicken fingers chicken strips like by the pool everyone i feel like by the pool i've never heard them called chicken strips what do you call chicken tenders or chicken fingers i don't call them tenders i call i'm from in philly we say fingers chicken fingers but i feel like typically they call them chicken tenders and you're thinking about chicken nuggets no i'm not chicken strips no you just said little i said those are those nuggets what do you call them chicken fingers are you thinking of chicken nuggets i'm not thinking of chicken nuggets chicken catsu i promise you i'm thinking of chicken strips that's the way i was raised never heard that okay chicken strips i mean unless you're talking about chicken catsu no which is like why would i ever be talking about chicken catsu be so fucking for real that's a strip that is shaped like a strip yeah this way chicken strips are long yeah so it's chicken catsu god damn i don't you're right too i mean but i wouldn't that to me is the only thing and catsu katsu yeah that's probably right i don't yeah sorry i'm from philly it's okay i never apologize for being from philly we are philly strong thanks anyways i'm not done with my day um i get a beer and then i do the same thing i go up i'm a little my skin feels a little like it's tight on my body you know it feels my skin feels tight i take a actually you know what you know what's crazy about me if i go swimming at the beach in the salt water unless it's santa monica which i do swim in so i don't know why i scowled like that i'm just saying i shower after i get in the beach in santa monica i've i've been hearing recently that it's pretty gross even though i open my mouth and i jump into my eyes open and stuff um i don't usually shower if i go in the ocean yeah kawaii or like a mexico that's nuts to me because i have the ugliest pool of water in the world and i don't know why i scowled like that i don't know and ocean hair oh i look so you look so yeah that's why i jar it up yeah i know i put on a nice hawaiian shirt and some linen pants are you wearing underwear nope and they're a little see-through if they get wet deal with it sorry you think i asked for this we get it we get a reservation we go to dinner light dinner heavy drinks karaoke time make some friends take it a little too far ask to leave uber home you get asked to leave or you are asking someone in my parties asked to leave not me okay even though i was pushing it you wanted to go to karaoke no to leave it to leave the karaoke are you i thought you just left karaoke no not yet got there no no we're leaving now that's what i thought you wanted to go or someone else wanted to go you just said you were pushing the leave no i was pushing it about to get kicked out pushing it to the limit you're pushing the limits with my with my karaoke songs i'm begging the dj like play my next i promise this is not what the people want you know they want no air trust me i've been doing it for years they want no air the people who don't want don't stop believing trust me wow some people might want the glee version no they don't some people might they want they don't want mr brightside either i hate to break it they don't they don't they don't someone just did that what mr brightside for karaoke i don't this season of love is blind i think i'll tell you about it later did something happen nothing should taste like that what what was it like i do you want to taste you want a lick of my wait what did you just eat my vitamin oh i know what those taste like horrible put them in capsules i just got a chill down my whole body i think it was like a seizure wait okay you you're done karaoke it's done i'm going to bed okay when did you last sing to yourself to someone else we don't have to do that one i feel like it was like just five seconds ago if you're able to live past the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30 year old for the last 60 years of your life which ones you want i know my answer i know mine go ahead well oh that's hard i obviously like mind but it like that does suck because i am constantly worried about aging my face i have a gray hair and multiple of them no where you're doing body well here's the thing the mind is great a 30 year old mind i don't really want that bad but our careers were i'd kind of like to be a 90 year old that just like i say and do whatever i want whatever i'm thinking i don't filter anything i'm like crazy nothing really bothers me you know there's not a there's not a worry in the world to a night like a like a healthy well 90 year old like they're like a little bit spooky yeah i guess you're kind of right i would love to have like a hot tight bod and like this kind of kooky brain that's a great people's i was thinking about writing but i don't want to forget anything right into their very late years so i'm fine with keeping the brain that i have i'll i'll look 30 i'll have the body of a 30 year old but i'm gonna have to do some editing on my body before i reach the 30. yeah i think i'm gonna i i was driving in in west hollywood the other day they do a jowl removal which i was looking into where non-surgical if you guys see me looking real you know they do non-surgical nose jobs how injections they just fatten it up or what i think they do give me one of them fat nose or they just like make yeah like if you have a bump it'll like fill in the empty space so it looks like it's a straight line do you have a secret hunch about how you'll die no i don't even want to think about that right now that's crazy it could be any moment ah let's move on yeah name three things you and your partner appear to have in common what three things do we have in common our racks i'm being jen um okay we are love for rom-coms and sushi rob thomas rom-coms oh well i love matchbox 20. i do too okay matchbox 20 rom-coms and sushi hello okay my perfect day personified i'm not crazy i'm just a little unwell right now my mouth is watering right now i don't know if you can tell that is such a good song i listened to it yesterday i think i did too that's 3am is an amazing song it's 3am i must be lonely i have to show you something i thought tokyo disney tokyo disney world there is a vampire and frankenstein and they're singing the most the like out of pocket american songs you know when you see a t-shirt in a different language and it's just like like you'll be in like paris and see a t-shirt in english that's like that doesn't make any sense yeah this is what's happening in tokyo like you have frankenstein it's like spooky it's thundering like and frankenstein's singing santana that's awesome to me it's awesome but it's like really like out of place like santana like i think they were going for something spooky and he's going it's just like the ocean under the moon and like with yeah do you know what i mean well i could see that being spooky it's just like the ocean under the moon it's just like imagine okay i just saw a person that's not there just now fully blown 100 there was a person there and i was like oh i'm seeing another okay well that's real crazy i hate when that happens take four well i don't want to do four minutes if if you could change anything about the way you were raised is this the fallen look this is like really scary if a crystal we're getting deep okay let's see what's the okay what's the most okay what's your most treasured memory do you think for whatever reason when anyone asks me like what was the best day of your life i go back to the sixth grade renaissance fair i don't know why it was just like that school field trip feeling of like i feel like i'm like traveling abroad oh i'm abroad with my friends right now they had this like dragon egg that had a prize in it it was the most amazing thing i had ever seen in my life this guy was swallowing swords he called me up on the stage did he what did he do to you made me hold the swords i was like this is absolutely freaking incredible these guys were jousting i was like this is just amazing i tried to chai latte for the first time fun school bus back it was a freaking movie i mean i had the best day then i wrote in my journal about it that's great yeah i just thought about the other day how like when we lived with our parents it would just like be the end of the night and everyone would be like okay good night you just like go up to your room what a crazy concept now like we were all roommates we were roommates yeah that's true it's just so crazy like everyone just like woke up and did their own thing it's crazy to think like you lived with your siblings too i know like i there was a point in my life where i lived with my siblings every day yeah really weird very weird what's your perfect memory i mean it's not it's like my favorite memory ever it actually gives me chills day you met me yeah there was a day that we went we were we took like a college trip like my college friends and i went to this like we went to hawaii because we had friends in college there and we like all slept on we all shared like one hotel room it was like eight of us and then we went to this party and it was like pool party it was so much fun and then we were like we're gonna go camp on the beach and we go camp on the beach we had a fire and everything and then we all just brought blankets we didn't have a tent so we just slept in the sand on the beach whoa whoa whoa and then at 6 a.m everyone just kind of like started rustling we were in like a huge like just pile of blankets and we sat up and the sun was coming up and there was a pod of dolphins swimming by and we all ran and sprinted down and jumped in the ocean and it was warm and it was like six in the morning and the ocean was warm we were just like swimming bobbing in and out of the waves that sounded like that like story entered my soul i'm gonna i'm gonna sound amazing and we poke for breakfast and when we got to the poke place the guy was wheeling in a trash can on wheels the fish from the ocean that they had just caught and he gave an extra wow that was really that sounds like a perfect day okay how close and warm is your family i have to pee really bad okay i can talk for a second no well you we can wrap up okay or do you want to end with this last question how was this 36 questions to fall in love and one of them is how do you feel about your relationship with your mother because you're getting to know each other on a deep level what if anything is too serious to be joked about like is that one of the questions nothing if you write a good enough joke all right we'll wrap up there thank you guys for listening brook has to what of all the people in your family whose death would you find most disturbing this is like this would send me home early yeah this is your house containing everything you own catches fire if you were to die this evening like what all right that's kind of crazy this is no imagine you're on a date and someone's like yeah it's great to meet you if you were to die this evening what would be one thing you would if a family member of yours was murdered i'm just spitballing here if your whole family were to be uh if your house caught on fire tonight if you what's one way you have a about how you're gonna die what do you think that's incredible that's patchy on a date patchy on a date be like pov on a date with patchy all right man it was great talking to you sorry about everything i said earlier sorry about what i said about whatever we love y'all and i have to hit the page again she's gonna be on the can i'll be right here my kelly clarkson that can off that can and on the cam brother all right get in there girl put your put your put your loafers on and get out of here all right we're wrapping up i uh i'm gonna probably eat my lunch that was i was gonna save for later but it's time now it's 11 11 o'clock somewhere oh it's almost noon it's lunchtime all right bye guys coca-cola for the big for the small the short and the tall peacemakers risk takers for the optimists pessimists for long distance love for introverts and extroverts the thinkers and the doers for old friends and new coca-cola For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.